back to article It's official: Apple sends out invitations for September 10 event

Apple has sent out invitations that confirm rumors it will hold a widely expected event next Tuesday, September 10, at the company's headquarters in Cupertino. Are those two orange-ish circles actually 'champagne gold'? Although – true to Apple's übersecretive nature – the invitation is merely a teaser that offers no …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Something really new and exciting needs to be announced or else the decline will continue.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

      Jesus, see what this announcement has done to a stable and sane human being, what kind of hold do they have on me?

      Ever time someone mentions Apple are about to announce something, it's like I have Tourette's

      Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

      Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

      Someone shoot me, pleeeeeeeeese......

      1. Cliff

        Be my pleasure :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      WHich decline is that?

      be specific ...

      1. Frankee Llonnygog

        Re: WHich decline is that?

        The upward decline in profits ascending downwards

  2. Neil Porter

    iLava

    Surely it's Apple's re-design of the humble Lava Lamp?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are those two orange-ish circles actually 'champagne gold'?

    I can officially confirm that the pattern was formed based on a photograph of the tea-leaves left in Steve's last-ever cup of herbal tea. The colours were chosen according to the orientation of the principle axis of the leaf.

  4. Cliff

    Awaiting magic and revolution

    Be great if there really is some real revolution as opposed to another mid-market phone with a premium pricetag and a pile of woowoo from their marketing department.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Awaiting magic and revolution

      You're going to be disappointed.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Awaiting magic and revolution

        I'm not sure I want revolution. I want a damn phone which is slick to use (fast, nice OS) and well designed aesthetically. I do not want lasers or scissors or a toaster built in. Battery life and super-tough glass you can use with gloves are my two requests compared to current iPhone and comparable handsets.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Think of the fanbois - El reg.

    They are already having sleepless nights, Salivating at the mouths, heavy breathing, like a tin of dog food being opened in front of a dozen hungry pitbull terriers, and already queing up outside flagship stores.

    FFS it will only be phone, and true to form, only an incremental improvemt in IOs, or worse.

    It wont make my coffee in the mornings or wipe my bottom.

    So much media space? I think you guys are sold out on Apple.

    1. stizzleswick
      Joke

      Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

      "It wont make my coffee in the mornings or wipe my bottom."

      That would be expecting a little much from a smartphone, wouldn't it?

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

        I bet you can use your iPhone to turn on a coffee maker.

        1. andreas koch
          Go

          @ JDX - Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

          Here you go

        2. chr0m4t1c

          Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

          >I bet you can use your iPhone to turn on a coffee maker.

          Quite a bit more than that, it would seem.

          http://www.scanomat.com/coffee-brewers/topbrewer

          1. Philip Lewis
            Pint

            Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

            Yeah, we have one of these in the office - sans iPad :(

            Beer: It just tastes better.

      2. AlexS
        Thumb Up

        Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

        I have already patented the idea. Thank you.

      3. Frankee Llonnygog

        Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

        "Mind if I use your phone? Oh wait, you have a Samsung Buttcrackpolisher. I think I'll send a telegram instead"

    2. goldcd

      You're the one that read the article

      and felt compelled to comment (as I also did, I will happily admit).

      We're all suckers for what Apple'll do next - and I also agree with every point you made.

    3. nanchatte
      WTF?

      Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

      They are already having sleepless nights, Salivating at the mouths, heavy breathing, like a tin of dog food being opened in front of a dozen hungry pitbull terriers...

      Wow, you have some really funky dog food where you live.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Think of the fanbois - El reg.

        And all the Fandroids are having the same sleepless as they salivate at the opportunity to jeer and generally slag off anyone who owns anything 'fruity' as being a fashionista (or worse)

        To be honest, both type of device work (and in many cases work very well) for their users. But the press likes a good junket and the Apple ones seem to be in a different league to those put on by Samsung etc. So, is it any wonder that the apple Junkets get more press inches than others?

        Personally, the Samsung Galaxy mini is about the worst Android phone every to be inflicted on the market.

        Compared to the iPhone 1 that it replaced, it is a step back into the dark ages. It is little wonder that the Mini has been replaced by a Nokia 3310 just so that I didn't miss those funny things called 'Phone Calls'.

        Every type of phone/tablet has its problems. I just wish the fans of one side would not keep on slagging off other types. If they did, the debate would be a lot more intelligent.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think it's going to be bigger than expected.

    I feel an iPhone 6 coming on. Surely they have to do that to make a mark. A shitty 5S is so predictable. If it's just the 5S they may as well just call it a day. (Wow a faster processor! revolutionary!). But maybe that's all they've got. Meh.

    1. thesykes

      Re: I think it's going to be bigger than expected.

      5S or 6... still be the same phone, the name means nothing.

      And am I the only one that thinks that, with few exceptions, anything gold coloured invariably ends up looking cheap and tasteless?

      1. andreas koch
        Meh

        @ thesykes - Re: I think it's going to be bigger than expected.

        Beg differ.

        The name means everything. Any progression in model naming, be it a number increment or a suffix, together with an easily recognisable new feature (like the double LED of the new 5S, which makes it obvious that it's not a plain old 5) is the reason to buy it*. You would not want to be seen with a 'last season' iPhone texting on the way to your Starbucks**, just as you wouldn't wear last year's dress style or have last year's shoes on.

        Gotta keep up with the fashion and the Jones's, eh? And don't, really don't, buy a Fisher-Price-Edition iPhone5C! That makes you look like putting a BMW M5 sticker on a 316d; laughing stock for the "Real iPhone" owners. The best bet is to go for a urobilin coloured golden one. It shows more 'haute bohème'.

        *after getting pantwettingly exited about the new, beautiful and creative features like erm . . . uh.

        **for your part-time afternoon shift.

      2. Mint Sauce

        Re: I think it's going to be bigger than expected.

        And am I the only one that thinks that, with few exceptions, anything gold coloured invariably ends up looking cheap and tasteless?

        Perhaps they're bringing out 'Elizabeth Duke' special editions of everything...

    2. davemcwish

      Re: I think it's going to be bigger than expected.

      Nope they don't need to. the 'Meh' increments are more than enough to keep web & print interested to provide acres of free publicity. To be honest I don't know why Apple have a marketing budget at all when Vulture Central et al. do that for free.

  7. Greg J Preece

    It'll be the feckin' watch, and everyone will fall over themselves to ignore anyone who has ever made one previously.

  8. We're all in it together

    Or it could be

    The iWatchTV.

    I know I watch TV. Do you watch TV?

    1. poopypants

      Re: Or it could be

      No, iDon'tWatchTV. Down here there is an election on, so I am hiding until it is over.

  9. J. Cook Silver badge
    Joke

    Wait, El reg finally got an invite?

    I thought they were persona non grata at apple events from way back.

    1. Annihilator
      Happy

      Re: Wait, El reg finally got an invite?

      I doubt it. It only says "Apple has sent out invites", there is a distinct lack of "to El Reg" at the end of that sentence! They'll just have to keep on opening Wonka bars in the hope of a shiny golden ticket.

  10. Oninoshiko
    Pint

    Choices, choices

    How about getting a beer and missing both of the snorefests?

  11. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Meh

    Sorry, can't stop...

    I have some drying paint to watch.

    1. andreas koch
      Happy

      @ Will Godfrey - Re: Sorry, can't stop...

      Do you do that as a hobby, or are you a professional Surface Coating Desiccation Supervisor?

      1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: @ Will Godfrey - Sorry, can't stop...

        You are from GCHQ, and I claim my £5.

        Oh, and I upvoted you too.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sorry, can't stop...

      It'll be dry by then - or do you have some of that slow-moving MS paint?

  12. GotThumbs
    FAIL

    Its Official.....another uninteresting "news item"

    Yawwwnnnn!

  13. JT163

    Johnny Ives is gone.

    They've actually put Damien Hirst on staff.

    That's why all the spots.

  14. OvAl

    Whores will have their trinkets

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That, sir, is bang on the money!

  15. Frankee Llonnygog

    My prediction

    Just like every other phone announcement from every other manufacturer for the foreseeable future, what's announced will be incremental improvements on what exists.

    Customers now have a choice of 3 perfectly usable phone OSes, one of which is available from several manufacturers. All of the phone-makers engage in marketing and protectionist legal manoeuvres.

    Go ahead and buy whichever phone you like. If you think your choice says anything about your intelligence or sex-appeal - it doesn't. Nobody cares.

  16. Andy

    looking forward to seeing the final release of ios7 even though i dont have an iphone anymore (but the wife does)

  17. Tim Bates

    People actually give a toss still?

    I thought everyone gave up caring around the time Steve died (or the iPhone 5 came out - not sure exactly when). The general public appear to be over the media hype ups Apple puts on, and the invited media seem to be the only ones that care (hey - it's a free booze up, right?).

  18. davemcwish

    Divining

    You really want to follow the Oracle's approach and use a goat first. As least you've something to do with the rest.

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: Divining

      I'll thank you to leave my goat-using habits out of this.

      I'll get my Capra aegagrus hircus

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fanbois

    Already getting a hard on over nothing.

  20. Mike 102
    Coat

    Pixels

    Surely those are pixels on the new apple tv.

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