back to article Huawei Ascend Mate: The phondleslab for the skint

Whether you think VLPs (Very Large Phones™) are the ultimate evolution of the personal telecommunication device or the bastard offspring of smartphone and tablet, there’s no doubting the little – well, not so little really – buggers are racing out of the woodwork. Most are rather expensive but Huawei’s Ascend Mate, like the …

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  1. Thomas 4
    WTF?

    Christ Almighty

    Never, ever use the word "phondleslab" again.

    1. simon gardener

      Re: Christ Almighty

      Too right - the word is Trannyphone.

    2. Rippy

      Re: Christ Almighty

      VLP is obnoxious, should be PhUS (with apologies to The Princess Bride).

      G.

  2. Jan Hargreaves

    That is one ugly homescreen. Couldn't PR come up with something better than that? It's ghastly...

    And people say iOS looks like a toy...

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Huawei for reasons unknown have decided to replace the perfectly usable default launcher with a godforsaken piece of crap known as emotion. As the article says you can replace it, but basically you're incurring hassle and a storage footprint hit for UI which has no reason for existing in the first place.

      Arguably HTC and Samsung should junk their default launchers but at least they are tolerable replacements, something which cannot be said of Huawei's.

      1. Soruk
        FAIL

        Emotion: Hate.

        Within minutes of unboxing my Y300 (featuring that same godforsaken launcher), I'd replaced it with LauncherPro. MUCH nicer, thankyouverymuch.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    £340 is cheap??? You can get the LTE nexus 7 for less than that. There is clearly a pricing error!

    1. Buzzword

      But can you make phone calls with the LTE Nexus 7, or is it data-only? None of the reviews are clear on this point.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The Asus Fonepad is around £170 inc VAT and is a 7" tablet that can make calls.

        So anything over £300 is most definitely not cheap.

  4. spudmasterflex

    I prefer a VPL to VLP

  5. Julian Smart

    Screen size

    Is it just me failing to find it, or is there no mention of the actual screen size? Or should we calculate it from pixel density and resolution?

    1. TheProf

      Re: Screen size

      It says in the copy that it's 0.2 inches smaller than the Samsung 6.3 so this thing should be around 6.1 inches across the diagonal.

      Huawei are probably keeping shtum on the size because, well, you know, it's all about who's got the biggest.

  6. Zed Zee
    Stop

    Chinese clone anyone...?

    Why not just buy a Chinese clone Andy (Android - you heard it here first) phone from the likes of ThL instead?

    They are as fast as anything like this one from Who Are We (sorry, couldn't help that) but cost as less as 2/3 the price of such over-priced-cos-we-make-you-pay-their-import-duty models!

    A quick search for on the web will find you all the models you can handle, at throw-away prices, from importers who now have UK warehouses and offer full refund (unlike CarPhoneWarehouse and Phones4U) and fix etc.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They'll be putting handles on these phones next. I await the sight of chavs carrying them around on their shoulder like a ghettoblaster.

  8. Maryland, USA

    And its radio bands include 1700 MHz

    T-Mobile users, rejoice.

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