back to article 'Thundering mechanical behemoth' walker mech to attack Leicester today

Our hearts went pitter-pat here on the Register exoskeletons, walkers and mighty roaring machinery desk just now, when we got a press release telling us that all our dreams had come true - or some of them anyway. It says: Hydraulic walking machine to thunder through botanic garden A hydraulic-powered mechanical beast will …

COMMENTS

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  1. Ketlan

    Sigh...

    Generally speaking, I love modern art but - oh, dear...

    1. boltar Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: Sigh...

      If something is "art" people don't need to be told that its art - they can see it immediately. "Modern art" is the label slapped on talent free rubbish that normal people might mistake for something the binmen will be coming to collect if they weren't informed otherwise. Unfortunatelty people in the art world seem to think that you can call any old rubbish "art" and voila - art it is! Umm , no , it isn't. A turd is still a turd no matter how many pretty bows you tie around it.

      Though I do feel rather sorry for this guy - if he'd been around in the 1970s he could probably have secured a top job at British Leylands tractor design studio.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like the Gardener will be mightily cheesed off with the ruts being left in the grass.

    If he intends to use it on the road the Highways department may want to have a word .

    And they call this modern Art? Phaaa

    1. Thomas 4
      FAIL

      So basically

      He wrecked a perfectly nice park to faff about on something that looks like a very ugly rocking horse?

  3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Art? ART?

    No it's not art - classical art, modern art or any other sort of art. It's a mildly curious experiment in creating some sort of inefficient alternative agricultural machine - it's good at destroying turf, and that's about it.

    If you want to see art meet engineering have a look at Theo Jansen's wind powered walking machines - serious engineering and quite beautiful art - video on TED http://www.ted.com/talks/theo_jansen_creates_new_creatures.html

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: Art? ART?

      Just what I was going to reference, so have an upvote instead. His machines have a very natural aesthetic grace, whilst this thing looks like an oversized baby crib made by Tonka.

      I wonder if it was designed by committee, in the camel sense?

    2. Paul Kinsler

      Re: Art? ART?

      Or these, maybe (not as good as Jansen, but they have a certain something)

      http://www.lesmachines-nantes.fr/

      1. Tchou
        WTF?

        Re: Art? ART?

        This is craft, not art.

        Or all crafts are art.

  4. Florida1920 Silver badge
    FAIL

    "It's very interesting to hear what people think of it."

    Well, not so much.

  5. Thorne

    If a horse was that lame...

    You'd just shoot it...

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: If a horse was that lame...

      It's more camel than horse, at least in design ethic.

  6. frank ly Silver badge

    "... very graceful choreography ..."

    He must know some totally useless dancers.

    Note: Yorkshire Sculpture Park is in the grounds of Bretton Park, a mile up the A637 from J38 of the M1. It's a nice place for a relaxing day out for the entire family. As well as the 'modern' sculpture exhibitions, there are the original buildings of the country house and also one of the finest yew hedges I've ever seen (10 years ago).

  7. DavidBuzz

    do't bother, go here instead....

    Seriusly, LAME is an understatement. Don't bother with it. If you want something vaguely approximating what I was thinking it might be, try this: http://www.mantisrobot.com/

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Missing the point

    It's a zombie tractor

  9. Havelock

    Robert Llewellyn

    Seen way better on 'Scrapheap Challenge'

  10. Trygve Henriksen

    Oh man, that sucks...

    That thing was even more disappointing than the writeup led me to believe.

    Now, the 'walking' contraptions made in Scrapheap Challenge, THAT was art!

  11. jake Silver badge

    I like stomp-bots ... and have built a few.

    But that's pretty much useless, IMO.

    As for art? No. Just no.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: I could do better with Meccano

      Not man carrying though

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Artists eh?

    Can't live with 'em, can't get yer Predator drone to give 'em the Hellfire treatment (legally anyway).

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    The should look at Robot Wars (UK) sometimes...

    Because I remember seeing robots that used such constructions to move around. Of course a bit smaller, but that's besides the point.

    The best part is that when looking at robot wars you'll also quickly learn the flaws with such a design.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: The should look at Robot Wars (UK) sometimes...

      I remember - the weaponised giant Scuttle.

      The small Scuttle was a very fast walker

    2. C 18
      Gimp

      Re: The should look at Robot Wars (UK) sometimes...

      Walkers were permitted a higher limit on the overall mass of the machine which was intended to compensate for some of the flaws you mention.

      I was a bit disappointed that the walkers never got a look-in in that series.

      It was great to see the evolution of Panic Attack (2), at one time the undisputed champion for more than a couple of years running IIRC.

  14. Skrrp
    Thumb Up

    +1 for Diggerland name drop

    If you haven't been to one yet then go.

    Operating large mechanical beasts is fun.

  15. ukgnome
    Terminator

    I used to go to Diggerland when I lived in the north east - who doesn't love machinery that can rip a humans head off, and that's just a skid steer.

    As for robot art, check out the Earth Bound Misfits (juggling troup) stilt robot, robotstiltskin - sure it's human powered but it's means as the proverbial!

  16. chiller

    "it will not stop"

    Imagine being pursued by this mechanical terror, you could forward roll (kiddy style) your way out of trouble having a five minute breather between every 20 rolls.

  17. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    I can clearly see why

    He has become a "modern artist" and not an engineer...

  18. pepper

    Catapult

    You, for a second had me fooled in believing someone made a catapult like mechwarrior machine... Oh how I wish for that to come true one day(not even as a war machine really).

  19. Lloyd

    Capper???

    From the state of it surely there's an R missing is there not?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who are you to judge whether this art is crap or not.....no, wait....it's crap.......

    Was just about to get on my high horse and have a moan at you for knocking art, just because you didn't understand it, but no, you're right, it's crap.

  21. Johnny Noodles

    Who are you to judge whether this art is crap or not.....no, wait....it's crap.......

    Was just about to get on my high horse and have a moan at you for knocking art, just because you didn't understand it, but no, you're right, it's crap.

  22. Parax

    attack Leicester

    Oh damn you el Reg, I got all excited, then you let me down with this 'art'

  23. Mr Anonymous

    Art, my rse, it's not even good engineering

    This is good art/engineering by Matt Denton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4_xcCYTgTE

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But Wait

    I think this is the Bot you are looking for...

    http://kuratasrobot.com/

  25. Infernoz Bronze badge

    Quite pointlessly primitive

    It is a ugly jolting clown thing, which wastes loads of energy Even his inspiration's machine looked more practical. He would do better to look at mammals, insects, spiders, and molluscs for locomotive inspiration.

  26. GrumpyWorld
    FAIL

    I think he should go back to the day job..

    ..."Would you like fries with that?"

  27. Trigger

    I lasted less than 20 seconds. Embarrassing nonsense. What is worse is that he probably got funded to do it. I can imagine it now - him surrounded by yaysayers telling him what a great thing it is he's doing. It's shit AND a waste of time and money.

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