There's more than one way to communicate a message through somebodies skull
Where's my axe.
Sky's ad agency has been showing off train windows capable of pushing ads direct into the skulls of tired commuters, as though advertising wasn't all-pervasive enough already. The Talking Window uses bone conduction to startle commuters who rest their weary head against the glass of the train window, admonishing them for …
I can just imagine the uproar in the news if they announced they were installing these. Commentators would decry the end of the free world as your own head is no longer free from adverts, the more impulsive among us would vandalize them, hypochondriacs would complain about how they have constant migraines and can't sleep since these came along - leading to ambulance chasers egging some of them on to sue - and amongst all of this Sky's already iffy public rep would nosedive as tired commuters badmouth them in public and on Facebook for not letting them snooze.
Plus, on longer journeys,
"This is your Under-Assistant Senior Train Conductor speaking. We will shortly be arriving in X. If you are leaving the train, please make sure that you take all your bags and personal belongings with you when you leave the train. We thank you for travelling with Y today and wish you a safe onward journey. ... The buffet in coach F is now open, selling a range of hot and cold beverages, sandwiches and snacks. ... First class is in coaches A and B at the front of the train. Coach E is a quiet coach [not that you'd notice]. Gargle, bargle, blah, blah, blah."
Not all announcements are bad. A train I was on recently had the announcement :
"Please be careful of the large gap between the train and the platform while leaving, as you may injure yourself and will certainly look silly if you do."
Raised a few smiles around the carriage.
On many routes around London they've just got to the end of those announcements before beginning the litany of instructions about the next (station) stop offering exciting connections to..., please remember to take all your items, thank-you for being a customer and sorry for any inconvenience cause by the late running of this service. Repeated moments later when the train arrives at the station, then a welcome to the train and they're off again..shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Advertising on TV means I can watch the TV for free.
Advertising on El'Reg again means I can read El'Reg for free
If they're going to engage in advertising like this then it is reasonable for them to pick up the bill, so I can travel for free.
So you use some (a lot) of your hard earned to take a black cab in London - not a bargain but your choice
You sit down, relax back in the solitude, away from the rain, taking a break from the Northern Line
And there's a fscking LCD screen pushing adverts at you - your only option, other than getting out again, is to turn the sound down.
I'm surprised it took so long for trains.
Is normally a pain when travelling. It means you hear the damn vehicle you're endeavouring to fall asleep on. You lean your head on the wrong part of the plane seat and suddenly the drone of engines is much louder despite all the cotton wool/ear plugs/noise cancelling... you might be trying to use to minimise the noise.
I wonder what sort of volume they'd need to pump their ads through at to get above the noise of the trains themselves. I'd have though this would then result in the whole window acting like a speaker.
I doubt if they'd see that as a problem, they'd be able to force the advertising onto everyone nearby, not just those leaning on the window.
More subtle than an axe, a small cordless drill to take out the transducer and the wires that connect it to the rest of the electronics, and a small tube of sealant to plug the hole once it's done.
Boneheaded Idea Leads to Forced Trains of Thought Leading to Bones of Contention
If you REALLY want to be annoyed, insert some good, rubbery earplug, sitting yourself upright, and then lean your neck forward, or if on a bed, lie randomly. After a while, you may hear the muscles in your neck or the bubbles in the skull/spine connection vibrating. Annoys the living hell out of me. Doesn't happen often, but does take a bit of readjusting.
If, however, advertisers tried forcing this onto the masses, maybe suitably-padded motorcycle helmets, lined with rubber, tin foil, water jackets, and some lead might lead to some heavy solutions. But, heavy metal music might work better than heavy metal helmets. Would prevent loads of damage to posture, too, hehehe....
Exactly my thoughts, to a T
I'd end up looking for the resonator and ripping the fucking thing off the window.
Although, the evil me would immediately not be tired and try and figure out a way to use it myself, so I could broadcast my own subliminal messages to others....
... with hilarious consequences
They want you to dream about their products, so when you wake you'll go out and buy them. It's like the sleep learning tapes for languages: Fall asleep while listening to the tape and wake up being able to speak total gibberish in yet another language! Doesn't work, of cause: You're mind will naturally rebel and you'll dream of smashing said product to pieces in increasingly inventive ways.
Mind you, a clever marketing bod might then consider using this technique to set you against a rival product...
Damn, don't tell Apple or Samsung! They'll be brainwashing people on public transport into becoming their own private army!
(Well, it is Wimbledon time.)
1) April 1 was just over 3 months ago. How long has this been around?
2) If it is serious, then the video itself illustrates a serious problem. Natural reaction will be to take your head off the window as soon as it starts speaking to you. End of message.
The video claims bone conduction is "so far only used by deaf people and the military" which is, of course, nonsense.
For a time my sons used "tooth-tunes" toothbrushes .... they play a pop/rock tune that you listen to via bone conduction from the toothbrush through the teeth so to listen you had to be brushing your teeth and the length of the tune ensured they brushed for long enough. Sons quite liked them (think they had the "we will rock you" version) but sadly they seemed to be no longer available when they needed replacing (plus before that they seemed to have gone in a "Hannah Montana/High School Music" direction)
Surely we can search out these malicious propeganda devices and place a suitably satirical warning sticker fo our fellow commuters? I believe a similar thing was done on the tube recently.
Just a thought, would probably be better than smashing them all. Less fun perhaps, but certainly cheaper.
"Just a thought, would probably be better than smashing them all. Less fun perhaps, but certainly cheaper."
For the really malicious I imagine it would be possible to re-program them to whisper some other semi-subliminal message into the poor commuters head.
I'll leave others to suggest what that might be.
One vote for hacking the damn thing and setting up pirated music stations on every train. I despise adverts, partly because of the intrusiveness, but mainly because advertisers are assuming I'm stupid. And that REALLY rankles.
If I want to find something, I'll go look for it. I don't need to be informed of it every time I open a browser window, switch on the TV or fall asleep on a train! I know where to get stuff cheap, it's called 'Shipped from China', on Ebay, and if i want cheap television programs, I know where to find the Pirat... Um. The phone to purchase the appropriate TV service.
This amounts to a form of subliminal advertising. As the video states, this is designed for tired commuters resting their heads on the glass, which means that the ads would be targetted at people in a drowsy, semi hypnotic or even unconscious state.
and THIS is why sometimes i hate people. No respect for anyone, only money.
and why i ALWAYS hate advertisers. Between tv shows, everywhere on the internet, you get ads.
You're on the beach, you get planes flying around with big banners. You listen to the radio, and only 15% is music now. the rest are ads. You try to watch a movie on the TV, and there are so many ads in the ( excess ) intervals that you manage to forget what you were watching.
So, now you're tired, and try to sleep on a train, and they manage to take every possible piece of your life and substitute it with ads...
God, i hate advertisers.
My brain developed a reflex add-block many many years ago. My audio and visual system seems to edit them out as irrelevant information, presumably by the same nmtural mechanism it edits out anything else irrelevant in my perceptive fields. It can actually be annoying if I encownter some wanted-information that someone has been idiotic enougr to think would benefit from an advertising-like format.
One of the many things that distress me about public transport is discovering that some unwashed prole has slouched their greasy locks against the window, leaving an unhygenic patch of soft focus in my view. If messages are to be pumped into the glass then let it be a drill sergeant bellowing "GET YOUR FILTHY HEAD OFF MY WINDOW YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE OIK!"
Now pesky spy agencies won't be able to bounce a laser off the window to listen to the vibrations in the car and pick out conversations of the passengers!
All they'll get is advertising spam instead.
(I'm a glass half-full kind of person...this whole idea is a raftload of shit)
It means cheaper train tickets, I doubt many people will care that much, and that's how it will be sold.
I did say if.
As quite a lot of our rail network is run by DB, the german state railway company, through Chiltern and Arriva, I'd expect it to arrive here quite quickly, and that the operators will trouser the revenue with no benefit to the customer.
Reditch to Lichfield line through Birmingham New St about 10(?) years ago.
Some bright spark decided to put LCD screens with advertising in the carriages. Not only that, they then linked the sound up to the carriage loudspeakers. No escape.
The system was driven from a cd-rom loaded into some kind of headless PC running from within a steel box under the first two seats in each of the coaches.
1: quiet carriage full, rest of train fairly empty (please note I was travelling against the traffic, from New St to Sutton Coldfield in those days)
2: respectable besuited pillars of society seen pouring coffee down the vents in the steel boxes that housed the PCs.
3: Coach loudpeakers vandalised using sharp instruments on a regular basis
4: Train staff switched the coach loudspeakers off whenever they could.
5: I personally avoided any of the hapless local businesses who advertised on the system and took the time to email them explaining why. I gather that I was not alone in this quixotic gesture.
The system was removed shortly before the franchise changed hands. London midland have not been so daft as to reinstate this system from hell. I recollect very few adverts left on the system towards the end (see point 5)
That would explain why one well-known movie prediction never came true, against all my expectations - once the movie came out, I was expecting to see it appear on buses and trains alike within months...
"For the memory of a lifetime, Rekall, Rekall, Rekall!"
A classic on advertising:
Took me some time to find it...
No, not the usual commercials, Burckhardt realized. He had been exposed to the captive-audience commercials so long that they hardly registered on the outer ear any more, but what was coming from the recorded program in the basement of the building caught his attention. It wasn't merely that the brands were mostly unfamiliar; it was a difference in pattern.
There were jingles with an insistent, bouncy rhythm, about soft drinks he had never tasted. There was a rapid patter dialogue between what sounded like two ten-year-old boys about a candy bar, followed by an authoritative bass rumble: "Go right out and get a DELICIOUS Choco-Bite and eat your TANGY Choco-Bite all up. That's Choco-Bite!" There was a sobbing female whine: "I wish I had a Feckle Freezer! I'd do anything for a Feckle Freezer!" Burckhardt reached his floor and left the elevator in the middle of the last one. It left him a little uneasy. The commercials were not for familiar brands; there was no feeling of use and custom to them.
How that meeting went down.
Employee: Sir, our research indicates that passengers are resting their heads against the windows on the train, maybe we could fit in beds?
Marketing: their not tired, their bored! They need ads to keep them awake, alert & edgy. Imagine the cohesion of game changing synergy we could exploring using this next gen outreach technology
Employee: I quit
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