back to article France sets antitrust watchdog loose on Apple, raids premises

Anti-trust investigators have raided Apple's local operations in France amid claims it the fruity firm has hobbled resellers in a bid to boost the performance of its own stores. French newspaper Les Echos reported that officials from the French competition watchdog searched Apple's premises last week, confiscating documents …

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  1. Anomalous Cowshed

    Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul

    An incident occurred while French police was searching the premises of Apple. This was not reported in the press, which were asked to keep silent about it, but we have the transcript of a secret recording:

    Police inspector: "Elo, elo, elo, what is dis? A doggy? Hey Misteur! Does your deug bite?"

    Old Apple employee, smoking a pipe: "No"

    Police inspector: "Here, nice little doggy!" (tries to pat dog on head)

    Deug: "Woof!" (bites police inspector)

    Police inspector: "Aiiiiie! You said your deug doesn't bite!"

    Old Apple employee, smoking his pipe: "Yes but dis iz not my deug!"

    1. g e
      Coat

      Re: Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul

      Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

      'ave yew a leesaanse feur de minkey ?

      And so forth

      1. Spoonsinger
        Coat

        Re: Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul

        Quel est plus mauvais que trouvant un ver dans votre pomme ? L'holocauste.

    2. LPF
      Meh

      Re: Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul

      Don't give up the day job :S

    3. LarsG

      Re: Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul

      3 days later...

      Sorry Apple we made a mistake, please don't sue us.

      (All the paperwork is elsewhere!)

    4. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: Come hir, you noti, littel Appeul @ Anomalous Cowshed

      I'm sorry, Anomalous - I don't believe your story ...

      ... there are no *Old* Apple employees.

  2. Jack Project

    I hope Apple get a pommeling.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Will you be here all week?

      I look forward to more of this sort of thing.

      1. Norm DePlume
        Coat

        More? I've had un oeouf?

  3. Winkypop Silver badge

    French fried

    I'll bet Apple were croissant!

  4. VinceH

    Optional

    Dear Apple,

    You're holding it barricading the doors to keep those nasty French authorities out wrong.

  5. gkroog
    Trollface

    Le Apple...

    ...locked in Le Bastille: what a nice thought.

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