back to article Anonymity ZUCKS: Facebook's Instagram to switch on face tagging

Oversharing narcissists will be able to reveal who is pictured in their cloud-stored Instagram photos - by tagging people in the colour-mangled snaps. The Mark Zuckerberg-owned, retro photo-aging service released version 3.5 of its software today, which adds features making it even more like its parent-company Facebook. …

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  1. Graham Marsden
    Facepalm

    Well...

    ... here's a pic of John xxxxxx pi$$ing up against a wall. Oh and here's Jenny yyyyy throwing up into a rubbish bin after getting drunk.

    And here's a picture of Terry zzzz and Andy aaaaaaa caught comparing the sizes of their cocks...

    So when you said you wanted References for them, which company did you say you worked for?

    No, I can't see anything that could go wrong with this.

  2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Curse you Jasper Hamill!

    Your throw-away remark about dogs taking photos led me to consider dogcam™, with a head mounted camera and then how dogs greet each other. I now cannot rid myself of the concept of an internet full of tagged pictures of dog arseholes.

    1. Dan Beshear
      Trollface

      Re: Curse you Jasper Hamill!

      And this is different how?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Curse you Jasper Hamill!

      .. and another wave of brownouts hits the US. No, wait ..

      1. Rick Giles
        Joke

        Re: Curse you Jasper Hamill!

        And you owe me a new monitor.

    3. Rick Giles
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Curse you Jasper Hamill!

      You, sir, owe me a keyboard.

    4. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
      Coat

      most of the pictures are arseholes, but some are the dogs bollocks!

      A bit lame responding to my own post, I was hoping someone else would post the rejoinder.

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Thanks for the heads-up

    It's good to know beforehand just what Facebook is going to bork this time.

  4. MrXavia

    I can't wait until we can track all instagram users, and then install an app to alert us when we're close to one so we can turn away....

  5. James Gosling
    Thumb Down

    The future...

    Well Mr Smith, we were going to offer you this great new job until we saw this photograph of you on Facebook!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can't form a proper title

    I've spent most of my adult life working on technology. Electronics design, misc. computer work, routers, servers, I've dealt with a lot of it. Inane crap like taking pictures of your shoes or your dinner makes it all seem so pointless.

    Do you damn kids have any concept of how complicated things like OSPF and BGP are*? How much work goes into provisioning high capacity data circuits? How complicated the design of RF circuitry is in your cell phone? All that awesome power, and you use it to make the worlds biggest and most boring slide show.

    /curmudgeon_mode

    *Did it strike anyone else as odd that the Oreilly book for OSPF was twice the size of the book on BGP? Somehow I expected the reverse...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can't form a proper title

      Did it strike anyone else as odd that the Oreilly book for OSPF was twice the size of the book on BGP? Somehow I expected the reverse...

      They had to use bigger print..

      1. The Vociferous Time Waster
        Thumb Up

        Re: I can't form a proper title

        "They had to use bigger print.."

        I love you.

  7. Arachnoid

    Way to go, more citizens giving away their privacy and those of there victims without even realizing it

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can you only tag friends?

    If not we could take a lot of photos of dog shit etc and tag it as the Zuck....

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    not more work for scu.. sorry, lawyers .. ?

    "i didnt get that job because of the photo WRONGLY tagged as me. Have a lawsuit, Mr Facebook."

    Oh, and you did it to someone in the UK? Welcome to our well-meaning, highly educated and very very technically capable judges who understand every single aspect of the internet (otherwise they wouldn't be so arrogant as to claim any form of jurisdiction over it, as honourable people would refuse to sit in judgement over stuff they don't understand).

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. JB
    Unhappy

    What's the point?

    About 98% of Instagram pics now are bloody self-portraits.

  11. Isn't it obvious?

    Re: I can't form a proper title

    You may have seen it already, but there was a really well-written post on a similar theme a few weeks back: https://plus.google.com/112218872649456413744/posts/dfydM2Cnepe

  12. David Pollard
    Joke

    "... taking shots of their shoes ..."

    How do you recognise an extravert mathematician?

    When he's talking to you he looks at your shoes rather than his own.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: "... taking shots of their shoes ..."

      Your jokes are in dire need of update

  13. KBeee
    Trollface

    There are 4 or 5 persons in the World....

    ... that just need to be punched until they stop spouting shit - Zuck is one, Ronald McDonald is #2, Tony Blair #3... any suggestions for 4 and 5?

    1. C Yates
      Happy

      Re: There are 4 or 5 persons in the World....

      I dunno why, but the first two names that occurred to me were Jeffrey Archer and the Gocompare bloke...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: There are 4 or 5 persons in the World....

        I dunno why, but the first two names that occurred to me were Jeffrey Archer and the Confused com girl...

        FTFY.

        No Problem.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There are 4 or 5 persons in the World....

      4# David Cameron

      5# Sith lord Peter Mandelson

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Where's the EC when you actually DO need them?

    What kind of cretin thinks it's a good idea for some idiot to be able to upload pictures which may (or may not) be of you, and may (or may not) have been permitted with some expectation that said idiot would have some modicum of respect for your privacy, and THEN tag it with your real name for all to enjoy? Personally I'd far sooner the European Commission spent some time hammering this kind of abuse into oblivion rather than obsessing about cookies.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      Re: Where's the EC when you actually DO need them?

      Just wait your turn.

      Cookies were the height of internet technology 200 years ago when even the great magician Tim Berners Lee was a nipper. This is why they are now reaching the agenda of the EU.

      Those eurocrats are too busy spending everyones money on moving like some sort of carnival between their two palaces (or is that parliaments), to stay up to date... come back in 200 years when privacy implications of technology will have been figured out by even the most stupid in our society : politicians, as usual long after the horse has bolted.

  15. The Alpha Klutz
    Facepalm

    wow you can put text onto photos now?

    that must be worth a billion dollars right Zuck?

  16. The BigYin

    And anonymity is given another stabbing

    Without anonymity, there is no privacy. Discuss.

    I do not have, nor do I want, a Farcebook account due to things like this. But all it takes is a friend who does to tag me and BAM....my name is there and I can no longer escape the machine.

    Maybe it's time to start a new trend and wear dazzle.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It doesn't really matter.

    All people use instagram for is taking pictures of their tea anyway.

  18. graeme leggett

    "Instagram did not reveal further details of how a dog might take photographs and then edit them"

    In the words of First Officer Douglas Richardson..."Badly?"

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