A company registered in minor league tax haven the Cook Islands, but with a subsidiary in Delaware, lawyers in the patent-troll heaven of East Texas and an office in Sydney, Australia, has asserted intellectual property rights over all versions of Unix and “Unix-like derivatives” and plans to seek royalties from every company …
Please Register, in the future, moderate your April Fools comments to remove any pointing out it is a joke, so we can have a laugh at all those comment posts that have taken it seriously."
Sadly in this case we couldn't have laughed too hard given how close to reality this was :-|
"Patent troll attempts to patent blatantly un-patentable thing" is a recurring theme these days.
Ah well, nearly caught by the timezone thing, given that it's still 31st March here (3/31 for the natives). Reading quite credulously until I got to the bit about the lawyer's name and I stopped to laugh, thinking that El Reg had decided to just publish his name anyway for a ridiculous lawsuit. Then the penny dropped.
Could have asserted that the original social media, Usenet, especially its alt.sex groups, were some of the first to trigger the nsfw daemon.
Then again, maybe copyright claims that were violated & left un-protested for so many years may be deemed abandoned, much like spam, kleenex and xeroxing had entered the lexicon, to the chagrin (or tacit approval in the case of spam) of the respective owners.
I was totally caught in until I got to the 'nsfw daemon' part. Lack of sleep can make one extremely gullible and fall for anything (and apparently, break your memory and slow it down to the speed of molasses- I just fell for a prank minutes prior), but then since I spent the last few days trying to get a goddamned UEFI box with Fakeraid (in this case, AMD chipset SATA RAID) to work in Debian and failing spectacularly, it got me thinking and I recalled that I didn't see any nsfw daemon when Debian was starting up, then the meaning of NSFW dawned upon me...
Protip: EFI and fakeraid don't go together in Linux land and many distros hate it when you set your storage up like that. I only had 4 hours of sleep over the last four days because of said setuup...
This line was my first hint that it was an April Fools… pretty sure software patents don't last that long.
Soon as I saw mention of a "nsfw" daemon, I knew it was fake. I've put together many a Linux distribution (right down to compiling it myself, by hand) and never seen such a beast.
Still, keep trying, if people are dumb enough to respond to 419 scams, you'll hook someone eventually. :-)
And I propose as a part of its functionality, the ability to monitor specific (executive) computers for unapproved access to pr0n sites; if such access is detected, it then sends those machines into a kernel panic.
Also, as part of its functionality, it will monitor those computers who are tasked with monitoring your network for unauthorized pr0n access and inform you if you have been fingered.
As part of its config file, the key value pair SHOW_NAUGHTY_BITS=TRUE causes the integral naughtiness filter to be bypassed, allowing you unfettered pr0n access.
Cm'on Reg... patent laywers don't do copyright claims.
Patent lawyers may be the scourge of the earth after politicians/state employees/mafiosi but they know how their bread is buttered.
"Copyright claims" are precise and too easy to disprove or to work around to bring in the hay. See the pathetic trick "copyrighted lines of signal constants and some commentary" by McBride's
Well, I guess McBride still enriched himself in his sociopathic ways using the burndown of his company as stepping stone, with the employees as useful idiots ... Wikipedia says McBride is now President and CEO of something called "Me Inc."
You couldn't make it up.
me until NSFW daemon.... because I've never seen it running when I do a list of processes in my Linux boxes
Perhaps a better one would be
"Microsoft spokesman has said after the success of windows 8 , windows 9 will have a radically improved interface called touch and spell."
Which everyone would go hahahh good april fool, until m$ reveal it at the next big IT show
These days I can hardly tell the difference between a normal Reg article and an april fool. Its just read like the normal stupidity. Dont see how it was funny or wild at all. The story was as stupid as the writing. Normal reg story.
Apart from google, and everything the UK government does, this year's april fools have been complete rubbish. Shame.
Rather a feeble try imo. An April Fools should be capable of fooling people. There isn't even the excuse of it being a Friday & Beer'O'Clock for the author.
I expect to see a much improved effort next year. Paying the april Fools author based on the number of outraged comments might be a worthwhile incentive.
OK so i had suspicions on this one: freeware or Unix patent and or Apple taking something over are super common fools material.
Shame on anyone who didn't catch the good one-liner of the Lawyer being attributed to commenting under anonymity and then being named in the same sentence.
Knowing the meaning of "NSFW", and not being aware that there was a Unix process by that name, I wondered about this, but not very strongly... it really didn't occur to me that this could have been an April Fool's joke, not being crafted to be obvious enough not to cause harmful confusion.
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