back to article Bill Gates offers big bucks for better condoms

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has rolled out a new project: a quest to find better condoms, with up to $1.1m for those who can come up with ideas that are a snug fit for some pressing problems. The quest for a better condom has become one of the Foundation's Grand Challenges in Global Health, a in order to address the …

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    1. LarsG
      Meh

      And Yet

      The Catholic Church and the Muslim brethren from the other side say condoms are evil and that abstinence is the way forward.

      Bill will have a hard job convincing the new Pope that a free issue of condoms is the answer. The more enlightened know this but as the majority of the worlds poorest populations are Governed by these beliefs he will have a very hard uphill struggle.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: And Yet

        Are you sure Islam says it's wrong?

        And Catholicism doesn't preach abstinence, it preaches procreation!

        1. Daniel B.
          Thumb Down

          Re: And Yet @JDX

          Catholicism preaches that any sexual intercourse that isn't for procreation is evil, a sin, and anything enabling non-procreative sex is evil as well.

          Humanae Vitae is the main offender for this.

          A lot of the backwardness of Latin American countries is directly tied to Catholicism and its backward views, including that on birth control and other interesting topics.

          1. praos

            Re: And Yet @JDX

            You are wrong. Catholicism allows contraception, but only natural (Ogino-Knaus). Artificial is bad because it degrades the naturalness of the act. It is not true that it "preaches that any sexual intercourse that isn't for procreation is evil, a sin," for it allows and even recommends sex between partners that are sterile because of condition, pregnancy or age. It preaches only against artificial separation of sex from its natural function, which is an integral part of it. For Catholics sex is not sinful, but sacred; their strict rules are not about its condemnation, but about its protection from profanation.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: And Yet

        Lars, a little education goes a long way and by education, i.e. don't class reading the Daily Heil or Fox "if you are not white and own a gun you are a commie terrorist" New as education.

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/islamethics/contraception.shtml

      3. BrentRBrian
        Facepalm

        Re: And Yet

        Sleeping with Bill could cause abstinence ... or female impotence ...

      4. Siraf72

        Re: And Yet

        Islam does not ban the use of contraceptives. There are hadiths (sources) that indicate it's fine to use them.

      5. sisk Silver badge

        Re: And Yet

        If you can get the Pope to read and publically interpret a certain passage in context then the problem of Catholic objections to birth control will go away. Unfortunately after several hundred years of taking said passage out of context to say that birth control is evil you'd have a very difficult time convincing the current Pope to say that dozens of his predecessors were wrong.

    2. Prof Denzil Dexter

      Re: Joke alert

      Like any Reg reader has to worry about the problem of contraceptives!

      1. Wzrd1

        Re: Joke alert

        "Like any Reg reader has to worry about the problem of contraceptives!"

        Some of us have a greater hurtle.

        Being married for over 31 years.

        AND getting a bit older...

        Years ago, we used to do it all night long.

        Now, we spend all night trying to figure out, whatinhell "IT" was...

        Yes, my eyes are brown for a good reason. :P:p:P:p

  2. samlebon23
    Headmaster

    Imagine a condom the size of Steve Ballmer.That way, we could prevent catching the Microsoft disease.

    1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      It's called the 'Cameron' but Steve Bell has rights to it.

    2. Bob Vistakin

      Wait a minute ... this Microsoft disease - does it affect all senior management in ways too filthy for mere mortals to comprehend? I mean, here we are reading about how Bill Gates is into condoms now, whereas the last we heard he was into toilets. Is Windows 8 the logical product of this unhealthy obsession?

    3. Wzrd1

      "Imagine a condom the size of Steve Ballmer.That way, we could prevent catching the Microsoft disease."

      Not happening, something that large would be too porous. It'd leak through.

      And down Bill's leg...

  3. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

    When I was but a lad...

    I used to find condoms useful, for the very "drawback" mentionned by Mr Gates.

    Now I find them to be a fire hazard.

    They might become a MrFreeze's wrap soon.

    It's hard to be a man -and to stay so.

    ;-)

  4. Ragequit
    Joke

    Hmmm..

    I know graphene is flexible but I don't believe it's that flexible. Even if you could get it into that configuration it might chafe a bit. It is an excellent conductor of heat which could be helpful. Supposedly a sheet of graphene of moderate thickness can take the weight of a elephant balanced on a pencil so being hung like one shouldn't pose any issues.

    The DVD bake method can even double as a handy applicator.

  5. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    Tech company condoms

    iSheath - it's shiny, the packet has rounded corners, very well made, but too expensive for the third world.

    Linux French Letters - it's free and open so you can never be sure who has used it before hand!

    Windows For Love Makers 3.11 - Industry standard but very unreliable - best to use it with a third party spermicide.

    Raspberry Pi-dom - Very affordable and extremely flexible but in order to cut costs there's no foil wrapper!

    Java Johnnies - These have been recalled due to their poor viral resilience!

    Adobe Ultra Sensitive - Thin and unreliable - used to be popular about a decade ago but rapidly declining in usage.

    El Reg Rubber Ticklers - Strong premium quality latex with strategically placed pleasure notches. 8 out of 10 sex workers recommend them! or for the more demanding customer...

    El Reg Paris Extra Safe - An Industrial grade prophylactic that's been clinically proven to provide the highest level of protection for the more adventurous consumer with a riskier lifestyle. You can rely on the El Reg Paris range of condoms for piece of mind no matter how debauched things get!

    1. FrankAlphaXII
      Thumb Up

      Re: Tech company condoms

      You Sir, win the Internet. Too bad they don't do Cash n' Carrion anymore 'round these parts. I'm sure the El Reg condoms would fly off the shelves.

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Happy

        Re: Tech company condoms

        Oh yes, I can just imagine they would! The branding would look quite cool too I reckon with the vulture logo on the packet and a striking red design that's bound to stand out on any chemist's shelves!

        I'm pleased to hear I win the internet too, I did start wondering that obviously I have too much time on my hands to have written that, it's good to know I'm making a difference! lol

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tech company condoms

      I would think the Paris Extra Safe would be a cross of a regular condom and a dental dam. This way not only is your wang (IT term) protected but so is the whole pubic area.

    3. M. B.
      Thumb Up

      Re: Tech company condoms

      At first I didn't know why I bothered to click on this article.

      Now I do.

    4. Wzrd1

      Re: Tech company condoms

      "El Reg Paris Extra Safe"

      A three meter thick layer of protection. Even gamma radiation can't penetrate it!

      Or pleasure.

      Or much of anything else.

      Can one say, oh...

      Isolated system?

  6. stanimir

    also make an effective family planning tool

    Unless someone considers one night stands family planning, the condoms are very far from effective w/ their fail rate:

    With proper knowledge and application technique—and use at every act of intercourse—women whose partners use male condoms experience a 2% per-year pregnancy rate with perfect use and a 15% per-year pregnancy rate with typical use

    I understand Bill Gates may not take security seriously but that's beyond laughable - 2% w/ perfect usage and 15% w/ typical :). Here, pals we have 15% fail rate as "effective"

    1. Filippo

      They're very effective compared to not using them. Also, your numbers suggest that investing in development of improved condoms is probably a good idea.

      1. stanimir

        I am suggesting that citing current condoms as efficient birth-control is overstatement.

        For instance: Fertility "Awareness based methods e.g. standard days method, symptothermal method." are reported as 75-99% (compared to the 85% of the condom). So no exactly true "more effective than not using them".

        I cannot support more condoms for STD/I prevention, yet I do not see them as effective birth-control method.

        1. Triggerfish

          Standard days method

          My ex shared a house with a girl who used standard days method, (didn't want condoms or using the pill, etc)

          It was either 3 or 4 abortions she had by the end of uni. (sorry cant remember exactly long time ago and lack of sympathy from me about the trauma of their abortions), anyway that as a mehod for birth control compared to condoms is a fail.

          1. Grikath Silver badge
            Boffin

            Re: Standard days method

            "The scientific term for women who solely rely on their period for contraception is "mother". "

    2. James Micallef Silver badge
      FAIL

      @stanimir - bollocks

      Do you mind to share where that quote came from? Because to me it sounds like bollocks promoted by conservative christan abstinence-only family planning propaganda. AFAIK condoms are over 99% effective in real clinical trials.

      15% fail rate with 'typical' usage implies more than 1 pregnancy for every 7 encounters, 2% fail rate implies 1 in 50. I'm pretty sure I don't have THAT many kids.

      1. stanimir

        Re: @stanimir - bollocks

        Ohh, I seriously thought I had provided the source (I do not quote w/o sources). Firstly I looked up wikipedia which has adopted it from http://www.fpq.com.au/pdf/Contraception_Efficacy.pdf

        Looks pretty fine source and the 98.x % I have seen written on the leaflet w/ the condoms.

        The main problem w/ condoms is the friction and then then not-proper placement or size. Wrong sizes can result into a burst/tear and men are often unlikely to pull out to check if the condom is still whole.

        Church propaganda would be the last thing I'd do as the Church is significantly unrepresented where I live and has close to zero influence.

        Having yourself as anecdotal evidence doesn't work either. The reported rates are from females using the method.

        Also 2% fail rate based on attempts would be 0.98^50 ~ .36 chance to get pregnant after 50 attempts w/ 2% chance - I mean your math is incorrect.

        1. James Micallef Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: @stanimir

          Thanks for the link and the maths correction... I'll have to give myself a downvote :)

          > 30% chance of pregnancy after 50 'perfect uses' still seems a bit on the high side to me but I guess they know what they're talking about - the site seems kosher.

          "The main problem w/ condoms is the friction and then then not-proper placement or size. Wrong sizes can result into a burst/tear and men are often unlikely to pull out to check if the condom is still whole."

          Yes that's right, having a combination of strength + sensistivity is th 'holy grail' that I guess Mr Gates is looking for. Of course compared to all the other contraceptive methods, condoms have 1 more 'killer' functionality, which is prophylactic, which none of the other methods provide, so still required.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @stanimir

            30% chance of pregnancy after 50 'perfect uses'

            That would be better phrased as a 30% chance that you might get pregnant after 50 "perfect uses". Not that you will, as it appears to say, also without protection, those trying to get pregnant will find it takes 50odd tries, sometimes more.

            1. stanimir

              Re:30% chance of pregnancy after 50 'perfect uses'

              I didn't discuss getting pregnant in general as that involves ovulation, the swimmers actually being able to make it to the final destination and so on.

              It was only regarding Math and probabilities. But yeah, probably unclear.

              1. Grikath Silver badge

                Re: Re:30% chance of pregnancy after 50 'perfect uses'

                And you're still getting your Maths wrong... Each and every time you use a condom the chance of failure due to [list of circumstances] is simply 2%. It's a die-toss, not compound chance.

                Even so, the main reason to use condoms, especially when you sleep around a bit ( or if you're lucky, a lot) , is not contraception, but the prevention of attracting/transmitting an STD. There's a reason Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are on the rise again.... And the former can be carried by males, the latter by females without any serious symptoms, if at all in the early stages, even when they are infectuous right from the start..

                But hey...the things are "inconvenient".

                1. John 48
                  WTF?

                  Re: Re:30% chance of pregnancy after 50 'perfect uses'

                  I seem to recall reading that the effectiveness stats were actually based on couples using them correctly for a year rather than the failure rate per shag. So a 2% failure rate would suggest 2 unwanted pregnancies in a year of correct usage by 100 couples. Still not perfect but far better odds.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @stanimir - bollocks

        "and a 15% PER-YEAR pregnancy rate with typical use"

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think you've missed the point - Bill is trying to get a more effective condom developed. That means more user friendly in terms of those whining males who refuse to wear them "because it doesn't feel the same" despite the risk of transmission of fatal diseases and less prone to failure.

      I realise that people here love to demonise Bill, but really your attempt is piss poor. A recent study found that ~60% of girls in the upper years of South African schools were HIV+, comparing to ~4% of boys (IIRC). If the men that are having sex with these girls could be persuaded to wear condoms those girls would have a life to look forward to. What Bill is doing is a very good thing.

  7. Kevin Johnston

    A Thought

    am I allowed to mention Microsoft, condoms and (in)security holes in the same phrase?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A Thought

      "am I allowed to mention Microsoft, condoms and (in)security holes in the same phrase?"

      Just so long that I can point out that Linux distributions have a lot more (in)security holes than any Microsoft product....

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just some bigger ones that don't break would be a good thing.

    1. James Micallef Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Spray-on condoms! *

      * idea courtesy of Ben Elton

  9. Mycho Silver badge

    Just give us a male pill already

    More and more the advice is to use two forms of contraception. Condom + Male pill sounds like a combo I would be happy with so where is it?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Just give us a male pill already

      Then men will either use the pill or lie about being on the pill rather than use a condom, and continue to spread diseases.

    2. tkioz

      Re: Just give us a male pill already

      The male pill has been in the pipeline since forever. Even if it was only, say, 90% effective, combine it with the female pill, and you've got a damn near perfect contraception.

      Unfortunately, the male pill wont really solve the major problems better condoms help with, STD transmission in Africa, and it wont make it out into the developing world due to patents and prices.

    3. James Micallef Silver badge

      Re: Just give us a male pill already

      Was reading about this last year, some guy in India invented a way to do a 'reversible vasectomy' basically inserting some sort of gel to block the tubes*. No health company wanted to touch it because it would destroy their research efforts for male pill + their nice little cash cows for the female pill. I think he's been getting some grant from Indian gov to develop the idea.

      But even so, that (and a 'male pill') will only 'solve' the contraception problem, not the prophylactic one, so, great for committed partners who want to experience more pleasure and less inconvenience... but still I would think that a huge proportion of human sexual activity is carried out with a casual partner, and it would take crazy reckless or completely ignorant** to trust a random guy/girl at their word that they're 'clean'. So better condoms is a great initiative from Mr. Gates

      *oversimplification warning!

      **in the true sense of the word of 'not knowing', this does NOT mean stupid

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just give us a male pill already

        Back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, I served in the Army with a bloke who CLAIMED to have what amounted to an on-off switch in his plumbing. According to him, his doctor had inserted very small, gold-plated, valves in his vas deferens and he could turn them off until he was ready to start popping out rug rats... Of course, he had to visit his doctor to make the change. No one in the company believed him, and he had no way to prove it... at least not without an x-ray.

        1. Vic

          Re: Just give us a male pill already

          > his doctor had inserted very small, gold-plated, valves in his vas deferens

          Dubbed the "Phaser" by its inventor, the "Golden Tap" (IIRC) by the Americans, and the "Stopcock" by the brits.

          Sank without trace, it appears...

          Vic.

    4. Corinne

      Re: Just give us a male pill already

      I think of all the guys I've know (in both the biblical and platonic sense!) there's about 3 I would trust with sole control of contraception - and one of them I'm not 100% sure about! This is simply down to the fact that the potential downside of contraceptive failure is nowhere near as life changing for a man as it is for a woman, and therefore not as high a priority for them.

      I'm afraid I'd have to know a guy really well to trust them if they told me they'd taken their pill every day on time with no misses!

      1. Mycho Silver badge

        Re: Just give us a male pill already

        Which is part of the reason why they recommend multiple forms of contraception. Let both parties take responsibility at the same time.

        There are 0 women I would trust with sole control of contraception. It's too big a deal for one party to take it over.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Too big a deal for one party

          Truer words have rarely been spoken:

          http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

  10. Cliff

    Jokes aside, credit to the man.

    The foundation he set up with his wife isn't constrained by appeasing donors sensitivities, so can back some grander plans. Malaria research is one of their big areas as it isn't 'sexy' so doesn't attract big pharmaceutical company investment as there is no 'return'.

    Similarly, I can't see swathes of Catholics for instance wanting to donate to a condom competition, but the foundation has clearly thought the problem through, bit of cost benefit analysis, and thought this worth a punt as the benefit is globally staggering.

    Full credit where due.

  11. tkioz

    Odd that they didn't have a category for reusable condoms. Wait before you throw something at me, they use to exist before the latex condoms came into vogue, but they were terrible things.

    A condom that is reusable, reliable, and enhances pleasure could go a long way to help with the STD epidemics in Africa. Of course so could religious leaders getting off their moral high horse and endorsing them...

    1. JDX Gold badge

      In countries where hygiene is a problem, you want them to try washing condoms? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

      Another con is that it would have to be much more durable and therefore it's harder to make it as comfortable as current disposables.

      A pro, you can make it more expensive so different materials are in reach.

    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      "Odd that they didn't have a category for reusable condoms. Wait before you throw something at me, they use to exist before the latex condoms came into vogue, but they were terrible things."

      Geronimo!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Reusable....

        A Scottsman went into the chemists, and laid the remains of a tattered prophylactic on the counter. "How much tae fix this?"

        The chemist, biting back his nausea, said "Look, I have a full box here, 20p. Why don'"

        The Scottsman interrupts "Thots tae much! Just how much tae repair?"

        "Look, I'm not supposed to do this, but: there's 10 in a pack, I'll sell you one for 2p"

        And again, the Scottsman interrupts "I'm nae made o money, am I lad?"

        The chemist finally says "OK, look, maybe with a bit of rubber cement I can fix this for 1p, but really? 2p for a new one?"

        The Scottsman holds up a finger, and steps out of the shop. A few moments later, he steps back in.

        "Your offer is good, but the regiment votes to repair!"

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fair enough

    Given that he's been a dick all his life he should have some valuable insight.

    1. Piro

      Re: Fair enough

      Oh yeah, the guy who has been dedicating most of his life and profit to charity. What a dick.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: Fair enough

        "Oh yeah, the guy who has been dedicating most of his life and profit to charity. What a dick."

        Yep. Stealing money off people by corrupt and crooked means is being a dick.

        Using that money to buy himself a reputation is still being a dick.

        If he wants to give that money back, I'll be happy to decide for myself which charity to support with it, and I won't even insist that they put my name over the door or buy my company's products in return. That would be something only a dick would insist on.

    2. MacGyver
      Happy

      Re: Fair enough

      He started out with the wrong mindset, he came around when it counted, now he acts like we all should. He now tries to make the world a better place, there is nothing wrong with that.

  13. Skrrp
    Thumb Up

    He doesn't need to go on a search for a better condom

    They exist; Pasante Unique:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3456 *

    Non latex, silicon lube safe, thin and strong. Amazing things. G/f and I love them.

    * Other shops are available, couldn't find the actual manufacturer on the first page of Google. Yes, I am lazy.

    1. Kevin Johnston

      Re: He doesn't need to go on a search for a better condom

      Good mob Pasante...had a mousemat from them (courtesy of my wife who was a Sexual Health Nurse at the time) which showed a range of their condoms with sizes. You wouldn't believe how many people at work tried to steal it from me, had to take it back home in the end or risk losing it.

  14. Homer 1
    Childcatcher

    Philanthropy?

    Is this about HIV or eugenics?

    1. Thecowking

      Re: Philanthropy?

      It's about diseases, including HIV.

      Hope that clears it up for you.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Philanthropy?

        "It's about diseases, including HIV.

        Hope that clears it up for you."

        Wrong. It's about Bill Gate's ego.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Talking of Wang

    I couldn't find this on a quick google at work, but Wang ran a full page advert back in the 80's.

    It had a one word strap-line. I'm not making this up, it said "Cares".

    It only ran for a couple of weeks for some reason? :-)

  16. Paul Bullough

    X-Box

    Somehow, the X-Box brand name seems more appropriate for condoms than consoles.

  17. IronSteve

    I don't even think it's the sensation that's the problem..Durex Featherlites are pretty decent.

    ...Now if they can invent something that takes away that awkward moment when you have to interrupt foreplay to hunch over (bare arsed) at the side of the bed and fumble around in the dark (or even worse..turn the light on) to fiddle with a fuckin' sachet while an increasingly impatient woman getting more and more out of the mood is peering over your shoulder....

  18. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    what is the HIV growth rate in the thrid world these days?

    High IIRC.

    I think this is an excellent idea. Making it work is going to be tricky but the payoff is huge.

    HIV/AIDS and other STDs are a huge burden and barrier methods are the only real way that this is going to be stopped. It's sad someone gets these diseases and they cannot be cured but why should their wives/mistreses/prostitutes pay for their stupidity.

    It'll be interesting if the get static from the swivel eyed loons religious right in America for this.

    Thumbs up for working on a big issue that the US govt probably won't touch.

    1. sisk Silver badge

      Re: what is the HIV growth rate in the thrid world these days?

      Actually recent (VERY recent, like yesterday) reports show that they may now be able to 'functionally cure' HIV if they catch it early enough. My medical knowledge is above average*, but I'm still not quite sure what they mean by 'functionally cure' and the article I read was in a medical periodical so it didn't go into details for the uninitiated.

      *Mostly due to being around medical professionals (both my parents, several aunts, an uncle, my sister, and numerous friends of the family) a lot. Sort of like how my wife knows more about computers than the average person just from having had to puzzle out what I'm talking about so often even though she's not a geek by any definition.

  19. Rol Silver badge

    Psst, fancy a shag?

    Place a small "hood" over the end and liberally spray on an aerosol of rubber solution.

    This will stay put through the ups and downs and obviously one can fits all.

    It can also be applied before the blood rushes out of your brain, so avoiding the fumbling moments pre coital.

    Might want to shave first, or scream later. Yeah, I'm still working on that oversight, anyone got any solvent that releases rubber from an intimate fit.

    1. sisk Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Psst, fancy a shag?

      anyone got any solvent that releases rubber from an intimate fit.

      Actually yes. Acid of the hydrochloric or sulfuric types works well for removing rubber. There's a slight flaw in there somewhere that I can't quite get a grip on.

      1. graeme leggett
        Joke

        Re: Psst, fancy a shag?

        @sisk

        "...I can't quite get a grip on"

        you're holding it wrong.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But God hates condoms

    But who listens to him anymore, eh?

  21. stu 4
    Holmes

    japseye bag

    I was thinking - as long as your primary purpose was family planning and not disease control - what you want to a wee inflatable bag you stick in yer japs-eye - sort of plugs in with an expanding plastic plug.

    has a wee rubber teat on the end that hold the man juice.

    pros: no loss of feeling

    cons: might be a bit of a difficult sell to get folk to plop into their bell end.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: japseye bag

      Have you considered that "japseye" is a pretty racist comment?

      No? Think about it for a second.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: japseye bag

        "Have you considered that "japseye" is a pretty racist comment?"

        Yes. And? I always believe in calling a spade a spade....

    2. Triggerfish

      Re: japseye bag

      My brother had a urinary catheter removed while in a cheap hospital in Asia years ago, he claims with no anesthetic. On balance after hearing about it I think no. :)

  22. sisk Silver badge

    Nanotech in condoms??

    Wouldn't putting nanotech into condoms make them a bit too expensive to ever be as widespread as the current latex models are?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Free cpndoms make safer sex??

    One way to popularize them in the Free World would be to give them away.

    Perhaps Microsoft would pay for having their logo and "Windows 8" in neon color on the product?

    1. Allen Versfeld

      Re: Free cpndoms make safer sex??

      In South Africa they are free, wrapped in 10-packs in dispensers all over the place: I've seen them in Corporate, university and government toilets. The dispensers are usually empty, though - demand exceeds supply. Which is weird because they're supplied by the state, meaning lowest cost bidder: Inconsistent lubrication (Often only enough to cover the first 5 cm's or so...), and nice thick latex. Given the choice between sex with one of those babies and no sex at all... well it's not an easy choice.

      They do make EXCELLENT water balloons, though - easily take 5 litres without bursting!

  24. Herby Silver badge
    Coat

    Too many jokes here to enumerate them all

    Just sayin'

    Probably many of them are NSFW as well.

    Bye...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could this be...

    ...the only good thing for mankind that Bill has done? Well, he hasn't done it yet, but I would sure like to see some advancement in both the application and experience side of things.

  26. Richard 15

    How about we start with more proper sizes?

    Some condoms are just too damn narrow.

    What we really need are custom fit condoms that can go on quickly and still be safe.

    I saw something close being advertised for Europe, but never heard more to think

    it went into release.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I agree

      I struggle to get them over my head, and they never go past my shoulders!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Large and flavoured please.

    I can buy large* condoms. I can buy flavoured condoms. But there aren't any which are both large and flavoured. The large ones all have the standard spermicide which smells and tastes disgusting, it is very off-putting. So please, let me buy a large one which isn't covered in that unpalatable stuff!

    *Yes I have a large penis. Some guys do, deal with it.

  28. Urh
    Trollface

    This is the one time....

    ....where a single-install EULA would actually make sense for a Microsoft product. Will I use one? Probably not. Considering the reputation Microsoft products have when it comes to viruses, I'm understandably cautious.

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