back to article Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

We're one step closer today to defining just what constitutes the ultimate cuppa as our reader poll results show a definite leaning towards broadly classic tea-brewing methodology. Mug with our Vulture logo For those of you who missed the last installment of our probe into the perfect cha experience - presumably because you …

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  1. Bush_rat
    Thumb Up

    Brilliant

    Exhibits A through Z of why I love the Reg

    1. shade82000
      Thumb Up

      Re: Brilliant

      Only PG will do it for me.

      Put the bag in the cup and pour boiling water directly on the bag so it inflates and floats as the cup fills. Doing it this way I only need to brew in the cup for about 20 seconds before it's perfect ... and I like my tea very strong.

      1. Psyx
        Happy

        Re: Brilliant

        As an ex-PG drinker, I will recommend Twinnings Strong Breakfast and Yorkshire Gold. Both worth a try. Yorkshire Gold has got that lovely reddish clay-like colour, too.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. revdjenk

      Re: Brilliant

      I was invited to officiate my brother's wedding in Kent, England. As an American, I wasn't quite sure what the wedding customs were, but the English mother of the bride (MOTB) definitely had things under control. My comments on the scriptures, aimed to help us all understand about God's hope for the new couple was to be limited, she said, to the time it takes to brew tea. Being a coffee drinker, I hadn't the slightest idea; but she told me, about five minutes.

      Upon finishing my delivery at the church blessing, I looked to the MOTB, and asked, 'is it tea?' She nodded, 'just right.'

  2. Z-Eden
    Thumb Up

    Suggest you try Clipper English Breakfast blend - nice brew.

    1. Z-Eden
      Thumb Up

      Also, since you're in London, head to Carnaby Street and to Camellia's Tea House. Some lovely teas there for the real tea connoisseur (Irish Mountain blend is particularly smooth and rich) and they're all loose. None of this bag nonsense you see these days...

      1. Frankee Llonnygog

        Or

        The Teabox in Richmond. Mine's a Russian Caravan

    2. Dave 62

      Is that the yellow one?

      Have just got some as my stock of Jackson's has run out (sniff) and since moving haven't been arsed to find a shop that sells it. Gotta say it's not bad.

      I'm dubious on brewing time, I find a good stir and short brew is usually right, mainly because I'm impatient, it's inconsistent though, sometimes turns out really milky and gets the bag left in but I seem to have a personal temporal distortion field so who knows how long it's really been brewing.

  3. Thomas 4
    Thumb Up

    Twinning's Assam

    Rich, strong, good quality tea.

  4. FartingHippo
    Boffin

    Brewing Time

    I find this is heavily dependent on the type of tea bag. Basically the posher the tea bag the more time it takes.

    Tetley can be made in under a minute with a bit of judicious stirring and squeezing (what was consensus on squeezing the bag?!?), whereas Whole Earth Organic Earl Grey takes a good 5 minutes for a proper flavour to develop.

    Complex business, eh.

    1. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: Brewing Time

      Tetley is fit only for animal feed.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Brewing Time

        Why would you feed tea to pigs, it has little nutritional value.

        I guess Tetley is the Coldplay of tea... actually nothing wrong with it but it's cool to jump on the bandwagon and express loathing towards it.

        1. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: cool to jump on the bandwagon

          It tastes of aluminium. I had no idea there was a bandwagon or that I was somehow 'cool'. Also, I didn't specify pigs or any other type of animal. I simply used an expression that to most people would indicate that I thought it unfit for human consumption if not actually harmful.

        2. Thomas 4

          @JDX

          "Why would you feed tea to pigs, it has little nutritional value."

          So you can get tea-flavoured bacon. Duh.

          1. JDX Gold badge

            Re: @JDX

            >>Let's be honest: If you're drinking less than half a dozen, then you don't really have any grounds for lecturing us pros on how we should be doing it.

            On that logic I can't know anything about whisky unless I drink at least a half dozen drams a day? Or about sex unless I do it six times a day?

            as Eadon would say, LOGIC FAIL

            1. Lamont Cranston

              Re: @JDX (whisky & sex)

              Are you some kind of lightweight?

            2. Psyx
              Happy

              Re: @JDX

              "On that logic I can't know anything about whisky unless I drink at least a half dozen drams a day? Or about sex unless I do it six times a day?"

              It's more like not being able to drive competently if you've only ever driven 20 miles a week. Or telling Tony Hawk how to skate because you go skating at the weekend sometimes.

              I am simply enormously reticent to take 'tea lessons' from those who merely dabble, or over-ceremonalise a fairly simple process.

              "as Eadon would say, LOGIC FAIL"

              I don't think quoting Eadon strengthens any argument!

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Brewing Time

          "it's cool to jump on the bandwagon" (Typical iClone response)

          You lose!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Brewing Time

        Tetley is heaven compared to the Sir Henry Breakfast Tea garbage our canteen has just changed too. Totally disgusting.

      3. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: Brewing Time

        I *LIKE* Tetley. My friend posts over bags of the stuff.

        Of the big three - Typhoo tastes "red" to me. Like fruity, almost. I'd I wanted that, I'd buy one of those poncey blends with rosehips (and no actual tea). PG isn't bad, but I feel the taste is harsher than Tetley.

        Otherwise - mug, bag, milk, sugar.

        Oh, and the question of milk in first is only an issue if the tea was brewed elsewhere, like in a teapot. If you are brewing in the mug, milk first is retarded - the water is boiling for a reason...

    2. wiggers

      Re: Brewing Time

      I think brewing time is more a function of specific surface area, so the more finely-chopped tea ('dust' or 'sweepings') will need far less time than pukka brands. Same is true of ground (not instant) coffee. The finer it is the less time you leave it in contact with the water. (E.g. espresso is much finer than cafetière or percolator grounds.)

    3. Elmer Phud

      Re: Brewing Time

      "whereas Whole Earth Organic Earl Grey takes a good 5 minutes for a proper flavour to develop."

      That sounds like you want a fragrant tea and something with a bit of body as well. Usually the scented ones don't take too well being left that long.

      Investigate real specialty teas or mix your own instead?

    4. Psyx
      Happy

      Re: Brewing Time

      3-4 Minutes!!

      It's a theoretical Nirvana that is divorced from the pressures of the modern office, I fear.

      At 10-15 Mugs of tea per day*, I think my boss might start objecting to that amount of time spent standing around next to the kettle.

      My tea is lucky to get a single minute, during which it is frantically swirled around and squeezed against the side of the mug.

      *Let's be honest: If you're drinking less than half a dozen, then you don't really have any grounds for lecturing us pros on how we should be doing it...

      1. Norman Hartnell
        Joke

        Re: Brewing Time

        @Psyx "At 10-15 Mugs of tea per day*, I think my boss might start objecting to that amount of time spent standing around next to the kettle."

        At 10-15 mugs of tea per day I imagine he already objects to the amount of time you spend in the bog!

    5. I think so I am?
      Trollface

      Re: Brewing Time

      This is a bit like 'wine testing'.

      A load of bollocks to 99.9% of the populace

  5. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    It all depends on the water!

    Different brews for different water types - Yorkshire Tea in Yorkshire, Glengettie or Welsh Brew in Wales etc.

    But make sure you include co-op 99

    1. Code Monkey

      Re: It all depends on the water!

      Yorkshire tea is also good in the Midlands. As a Lancastrian it pains me to admit this but I cannot tell a lie. Our water comes from Wales though, so I'm tempted to give the Welsh Brew a go.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: It all depends on the water!

        I believe that the big companies tweak their product depending where in the country it is being sold?

        1. Smerty
          Boffin

          Re: It all depends on the water!

          When Morrisons took over Safeway, the head man of Morrisons (a Yorkshireman) demanded that all stores should stock Yorkshire Tea. Over 2 years later some of the Scottish stores still had the original pallet of Yorkshire Tea they had delivered after the edict, where as they were going through a pallet of other brands per week.

          As I understand it the water in Yorkshire is very hard and Yorkshire Tea works well with hard water, where as the Scottish water is generally very soft and Yorkshire Tea made with soft water tastes terrible.

          1. Psyx
            Boffin

            Re: It all depends on the water!

            "As I understand it the water in Yorkshire is very hard and Yorkshire Tea works well with hard water, where as the Scottish water is generally very soft and Yorkshire Tea made with soft water tastes terrible."

            That would perhaps be disproved by the fact that they make a different tea for hard water.

    2. Brent Longborough
      Headmaster

      Re: It all depends on the water!

      Yorkshire Tea (*not* the decaffeinated one) and Paned Gymreig do nicely in South Wales, too.

      But make sure you also include Builders' Tea, please!

    3. Simon Round
      Thumb Up

      Re: It all depends on the water!

      Yorkshire Tea is always a good on in our household. They also make a version for hard water areas.

    4. The Serpent

      Re: It all depends on the water!

      "I drink old women's piss nowadays"...

      1. Simon Round

        Re: It all depends on the water!

        @The Serpent - "I drink old women's piss nowadays"...

        Is that with or without Milk and Sugar?

        1. The Serpent

          Re: It all depends on the water!

          Yes

    5. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: It all depends on the water!

      True. I have to filter the water here because it has so much bloody chalk in it (Rhine filtration method) that you just get a cup of scum if you don't. PG is my preferred - nice notes of Assam but not as strong as others and I much prefer using a pot for optimal taste. Don't have a fancy pot just steel with a wooden handle that's done about 50 years service. Metal pots don't really need warming but need tea cosies. Avoid "tea lights" at all costs which are the devil's work designed to sour the blessed beverage.

      For Lester's test - a good strong cuppa goes great with a bacon sandwich on a cold. You might also want to see what goes well with your favourite biscuit - Rich Tea for me, I won't let Digestives in the house - or cucumber sandwiches if you're expecting company.

  6. Bakunin
    Devil

    It's now a moo[t] point ...

    "Exact personal preference must therefore be set aside in pursuit of a compromise brewing solution based on the majority vote..."

    ... but I still say no to cow juice.

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: It's now a moo[t] point ...

      I expect to be roundly flamed for this, but I don't mind soya milk in tea. (the bovine extract doesn't agree with me)

  7. Scrote

    proper tea

    Weirdly I just watched Doc Brown's Proper Tea rap before reading this story. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtK_vfp8po8

    1. Psyx

      Re: proper tea

      Is it anything like Professor Elemental's?

    2. Lamont Cranston

      Re: proper tea

      How many jiggawatts does his kettle need?

  8. Busby
    Facepalm

    What is wrong with you all?

    Tea should always be brewed in a pot not a mug. You might as well serve in a styrofoam cup while at it if brewing in the mug. This is a (primarily) British website so I am very dissapointed in you all, bunch of heathens the lot of you.

    1. Psyx
      Stop

      Re: What is wrong with you all?

      "Tea should always be brewed in a pot not a mug. You might as well serve in a styrofoam cup while at it if brewing in the mug. This is a (primarily) British website so I am very dissapointed in you all, bunch of heathens the lot of you."

      That's a nice ideological theory for amateurs and part-timers to spout on about, much like armchair generals might pick apart the campaigns of hardened veterans, with an mind obsessed with theoretical strategy, rather than the realities and practicalities of combat/tea-drinking.

      Some of us drink dozens of mugs of the stuff each day in order to survive the workplace without killing anyone. We have neither the time nor tea-pots to pander to such luxuries.

      We need our fuel, like M1 Abrams need JP-8.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What is wrong with you all?

      The pot is aspirational. In day-to-day situations it's often an unavailable luxury.

      1. Matt 21

        Re: What is wrong with you all?

        OK, sometimes you have to use a cup and a tea bag but every opportunity I use a teapot and tea leaves....... it tastes so much better!

        PS. Milk in first of course :-)

    3. Dick Pountain

      Re: What is wrong with you all?

      Absolutely right. Teapots are hardly expensive items - you can probably get a dented aluminium one in the Oxfam shop for 50p (wash before using). And you can recoup that 50p by making n cups at a time using only n-1 bags (assuming you have friends or colleagues). The teabag of choice is Fortnum and Mason's Orange Pekoe so you'll want to economise on them.

    4. Lone Gunman

      Re: What is wrong with you all?

      "You might as well serve in a styrofoam cup while at it"

      Actually there is a lot to be said for builders tea served in a styrofoam cup, when its a cold miserable day and you would kill for a hot drink. Has to be the right situation though and a decent brew.

  9. JDX Gold badge

    3-4min

    Meh. 30s of gentle agitation - don't mash the bag but keep it moving - does the same thing. Or using the string if it's that type of tea-bag.

    Pyramidal bags are scientifically proven to infuse a LOT faster than regular ones too.

    1. Gavin King

      Re: 3-4min

      In this antipodian part of the world, the only ones seem to be Dilmah brand, made of plastic, and are fine until you move them, when the string pulls a hole in the bag, or the vertices rip, filling the cup with leaves (or what passes for tea leaves in a bag).

      It wouldn't be so bad, if only they didn't cost upwards of $2 for the cup.

  10. frank ly

    re. "... some sort of elite tasting team and bacon sarnies."

    I'll work for free and I'll wash up afterwards. (I used to play Frontier Elite, I have good taste and I've eaten many bacon sarnies).

  11. Mondo the Magnificent
    Devil

    Tea can be greatly improved with....

    an accompaniment comprising of a bacon sandwich...

    1. Elmer Phud
      Pint

      Re: Tea can be greatly improved with....

      There are loads of pics of bacon sarnies all over the place today - something about them being bad for you (I thought this came out years back) BUT these pics of bacon sarnies make me salivate while a background taste of tea brews in my mind as well.

      Wrong container (though it's been known) but I'll raise a mug to you.

      1. Frankee Llonnygog

        Re: Tea can be greatly improved with....

        Tea and bacon sarnies go together like smack and Jack Daniels - and just as more-ish!

  12. Mostly_Harmless Silver badge
    Boffin

    Bovine Mammary Fluid

    Brewing in the drinking vessel - add milk after brewing (otherwise the brewing process is compromised)

    Brewing in a pot - add milk to drinking vessel before pouring tea in (no stirring required)

  13. Locky Silver badge

    To confuse things, masala chai

    1 inch of ginger, chopped fine

    1/3rd cinnamon stick

    2 cardamon pods

    4 cloves

    6 black pepper corns

    Crush them all up in a pestle & mortar

    Add mixture to 1/2 mug water, 1 mug of semi skimmed milk, 2 sugars and 1/2 teaspoon of loose indian tea

    Heat until the milky tea starts to boil over, then lower the heat to a simmer. Repeat 4 times

    Strain

    Drink, and wait for an English batting collapse

    1. edge_e
      WTF?

      Re: To confuse things, masala chai

      see icon

      1. Amraj
        Thumb Up

        Re: To confuse things, masala chai

        Every english person I have ever made Masala Chai for instantly melts into my hands and recognises me as a Tea God!

        I reckon if this get thrown into the mix, then it will definately be up there in the rankings.

    2. Simon Round
      Joke

      Re: To confuse things, masala chai

      @ Locky

      Away with you this instant. We'll have none of these heathen ways in here. Thanks you very much.

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Psyx
        Pint

        Re: To confuse things, masala chai

        Order a Nan?

        That's a bit rude.

        I always *ask* mine if I can have a cup of tea.

    4. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: To confuse things, masala chai

      Yes but.

      We need to keep sight of the original concept here, which was to come up with the ideal mug of tea to accompany a bacon buttie.

      I just had an attack of the dry heaves thinking about that with bacon.

    5. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: To confuse things, masala chai

      I believe this is yours.

  14. Silverburn
    Happy

    Critical fail

    It's not tea until it's got at least six sugars in it, and I'm bouncing off the walls for an hour afterwards.

    And semi-skimmed milk??? Good lord, no. Full fat please, with the "straight from the cow" cream-on-top version preferred.

    1. Z-Eden
      Thumb Down

      Re: Critical fail

      Sugar in tea, What!? Philistine

      1. Silverburn
        Thumb Up

        Re: Critical fail

        Not just sugar...*lots* of sugar.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nearly right. Add another 10 minutes onto brewing time so that it is properly stewed and you're there. And for gods sake ... never try using that disgusting earl grey stuff, make sure it is English Breakfast or PG Tips.

  16. nimster
    Headmaster

    The land where tea comes from

    India and China mostly - well a grown up cup of tea will include a few seeds of cardamom or a few grains of cinnamon to enhance flavour. Cinnamon in particular adds to the chill-out factor. Add either of these while brewing the tea and then filter them out when pouring.

    1. LPF
      Thumb Down

      Re: The land where tea comes from

      "a few seeds of cardamom or a few grains of cinnamon to enhance flavour." I'm litterally weeping in the office, I hope your happy :(

  17. ukgnome
    Thumb Up

    infuse not mash!

    Tea needs to be a golden honey colour - none of this bag mashing malarkey. Then you may add whatever other things you need.

    If you must put milk in it then only full fat milk will do. I simply don't want to hear about green or red top milk. If it doesn't have a silver top then it's not milk. (or blue top for you supermarket buyers)

    And by Jove, only silver spoon granulated sugar if you require sweetness.

    1. Psyx
      Stop

      Re: infuse not mash!

      "And by Jove, only silver spoon granulated sugar if you require sweetness."

      Actually, fruit sugar is nicer, if we're being picky.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > Tea format: Teabag

    Seditious lies. Loose tea is superior tea!

    Also, strictly speaking the article is about about Indian tea, if you prepare most Chinese tea in the same manner will get nothing but hot milky water.

    /mines the one with the tin of Oolong and the strainer.

  19. Goldmember

    Where can I find...

    ...some of those El Reg branded tea bags in the picture? I don't drink the stuff (coffee all the way - and yes, I know that statement will probably trigger a 1 month ban), I'd just like to have some sat around because they look cool.

    1. Simon Round
      Joke

      Re: Where can I find...

      @ Goldmember

      You seriously think you'll only get a 1 month ban. Oh Dear!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where can I find...

      I am especially intrigued by the drop shadow on the tag, which implies an unusually expensive printing process for this type of application. It must be quality tea, indeed!

  20. Samuel Penn

    Boiling water a necessity

    Semi-skimmed milk first, any form of "builder's tea" (Tetley/PG), about 10 seconds of brewing, though the water must be actually boiling hot from a proper kettle, not from one of those hot water machines that only produces tepid warm water.

    If it's American tea (even if branded Tetley/PG), then double the number of tea bags and up brewing time to several minutes.

    1. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: Boiling water a necessity

      "American tea"

      The only thing worse than American tea is American cheese.

      Edit: ...And American bacon.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Boiling water a necessity

        You forgot American chocolate

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          Re: Boiling water a necessity

          I think you gentlemen refer to "American Extruded Cheese Product[TM]" and "American Extruded Chocolate Product[TM]".

          Neither bear any resemblance to cheese - which should never ever be anywhere near plastic wrapping - nor chocolate, which should be dark as the gates of hell and bitter as the recriminations that led you there...

  21. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    As I stated before

    Twinings Prince of Wales tea or the Keemun Congou I can get here in the Netherlands

    Recommended infusing time:

    3min - ∞

    The latter occurs when I am busy coding. This tea does not turn bitter ever (does turn cold however)

    Assam is a good alternative, infusing time 3-5 min

  22. Jim jimminy jim jim jim jim
    Stop

    cuppa time

    can't brew this

    sorry!

  23. Johnny G
    Boffin

    Brewing time

    "Brewing time: 3-4 minutes".

    Way too long. If you're using a regular tea bag (such as PT, Tetley or my fav Twinings Everyday) and BOILING water (a must), it only needs about 30 secs, maybe less. 3 or 4 mins we stew it.

    To me the most critical component in this is the water temperature. It should be at boiling or very near boiling. Warm water just won't brew the tea properly and will make it smell.

    1. Flatpackhamster

      Re: Brewing time

      I suppose it depends whether or not you like your tea to taste of, well, tea - or just warm water with a dash of milk.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Brewing time

        It depends if you want it to taste of tea, or just tannin. Maybe the problem is your taste buds' sensitivity.

  24. Zog The Undeniable
    FAIL

    Nooooo!

    The only way to get the creamier taste of "milk first", and still brew the tea with boiling water, is to use a teapot.

    Sorry, the research just shows what a bunch of philistines the sample was.

  25. Cyberelic

    Not everyone wants builders tea

    Now I drink organic earl grey teabags, with 3 sucralose tabs and no milk. It has to be boiling properly, in one of my favourite mugs, and needs stirring and squeezing for a few minutes.

    But I now only have about 1/3 of my kidneys left.

    Previously I used to drink 'proper' filter coffee, with 2 spoons of demerara and full fat milk.

    At my grandmothers house we always used to wake up to weak black tea with a slice of lemon...

    P.

    1. Silverburn
      Alien

      Re: Not everyone wants builders tea

      errm....just to be clear...the coffee and sugar killed 2/3rds of your kidneys?

      Luckily that won't be a problem for me because I have 6 kidneys.

      Wait...I don't?

    2. Psyx
      Thumb Up

      Re: Not everyone wants builders tea

      "Now I drink organic earl grey teabags, with 3 sucralose tabs and no milk."

      I was about to down-vote but I read on, and believe your excuse to be valid!!

  26. Mr. Nobby
    Stop

    Milk first?

    People like that should be hanged.

  27. Phil Holden 1

    Technique

    Well I'm glad to see the YT supporters weighing in, it is the superior blend.

    And yes it is marvellous brewed with soft water (ours is beautifully filtered through millstone grit).

    No-one seems to have mentioned that it is imperative that the water be boiling when added, not slightly off the boil, but still trying to leap from the kettle spout. once applied a quick whizz of the teaspoon and allow it's penultimate gyrations to becalm. then 2 minutes of sitting, another flick of the spoon, SQUEEZE (yes I said it) then flick the teabag into the bin from the furthest distance possible (creates a beautiful beige pattern behind the binlid), and add your choice of poisons (M+2S is my preference), if however you are feeling particularly decadent, then you may add an ASDA extra-special range Darjeeling to the mix for the real prince of teas.

  28. Jellyfish

    Other parameters

    As being well known for being particular about tea I'd just like to mention a couple of parameters that have been forgotten:

    1. Colour of inside of the mug - my experiments have shown that IMO white/light colour mugs produce much better tasting tea than dark coloured interiors (sweeter, less bitter)

    2. Degree of agitation applied to the bag whilst brewing - the more agitation the more bitter the tea tastes to me.

    Also, size of mug should be considered - if enormous, brewing time must be increased or risk "witch p*ss"

  29. plrndl
    Alien

    Ambivalent

    Personally, I brew work tea in the mug, and add milk afterwards.

    At home I do it properly, warming the pot, 1 bag per person, and one for the pot, and putting milk in first. Possibly your results are skewed by others who vary their methodology according to circumstance?

  30. Silverburn
    Flame

    No Fanboi war?

    Wait...I thought it was traditional for El Reg threads to descend into a fanboi slagging match?

    2 pages in (at time of post) and where's the cafeboi's expletive-ridden "FAIL" messages, and the resulting counter-salvo from the Teatards?

    Flame on chaps!

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: No Fanboi war?

      The topic is not erudite or libertian enough for Eadon who, of course, only drinks an infusion made from free range penguin droppings.

  31. Charles Calthrop
    Thumb Down

    have to use a white mug

    tea in a black mug :dead:

  32. LPF
    Thumb Down

    No sugar ??

    Jesus wept whats wrong with you people, if there is not sugar showing above the tea line, its not sweet enough! :(

  33. Nick Kew Silver badge
    Devil

    Tea bags forsooth!

    Do you prefer tinned fruit to fresh, too? Instant coffee? And how do you like your spam?

    Barbarians all!

  34. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Joke

    Bunch of pretentious snobs!

    Bloody hell, these sort of topics do bring the wannbee hooray henrys out of the woodwork.

    The only proper drink is water. Pure, fresh, clean water. Taken from a specific mountain stream in the Himalayas, just north of Tibet. A close second is thawed ice from the Antarctic. Preferably drilled from a depth of 2001 feet.

    Now, can you all just shut up about your bloody contaminated brown water?

    1. Anomalous Cowturd
      Headmaster

      Re: Bunch of pretentious snobs!

      It's not contaminated, it's adulterated.

      Just like these delicious burgers.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Bunch of pretentious snobs!

        Got to have your five-a-day trace elements: arsenic, nickel, cobalt, lead, cadmium…

    2. Gray Ham
      Thumb Up

      @John Brown

      Weren't the Himalayas *south* of Tibet? At least, they were last week ...

      Mind you, I only drink Pu-Erh tea, specially obtained for me by my secret Chinese lover in Yunnan. It reduces the cholesterol from the bacon sangers.

  35. phr0g

    Swedish COOP own brand English Breakfast tea for me.

    Brew time 30 seconds with much stirring and squashing

    milk, semi skimmed

    sugar DEFINITELY (1 spoon)

    Bacon butty or snus.

    ha!

  36. Beamerboy

    Ready to be flamed

    But I don't really like normal tea - though do have Lady grey, Ceylon, Darjeeling, redbush and Lapsang (all Twinings of course!) on my desk ready for whatever I fancy. All brewed in a mug without the need for moo juice or sugar - simples!

  37. RW
    Angel

    We must start from basics!

    A good cup of tea is hot, aromatic, and free from the bitterness of tannins from over-steeped leaves. You can get this nectar even from quite cheap tea if you use the right technique, to wit, put the tea in a small conical sieve over the mouth of the tea pot and pour the boiling water through that. Tea is ready immediately; no need to steep. End of discussion.

  38. Jim Wilkinson
    Thumb Down

    Teabag?

    For a proper brew you need leaf tea, not in a bag. And a fine china mug helps too :) Milk in first of course.

  39. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Crime against Camelia Sinensis

    "Tea format: teabag" - I'm afraid you lost me at that.

    But I persevered, read on, just to see "Milk: yes" - OMG! And sugar?!

  40. J.G.Harston Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    http://pics.mdfs.net/2012/03/120301.htm

  41. Herby Silver badge
    Coat

    tea? Tea? TEA? no! No! NO!

    COFFEE!

    Look, I'm from the USA, where us IT types use it for fuel. Coffee in, code out (and other stuff that comes close to NSFW).

    And you wonder why we have so many Starbucks around here?

    I'm sure that everyone would agree that the proper drink at 5pm or so is a nice glass of beer regardless of their taste in morning drinks!

    is it getting chilly in here???

  42. C. P. Cosgrove
    Thumb Up

    Body ?

    3 to 4 minutes ? Wimps ! Tea must have BODY !

    I have previously mentioned the delights of NATO standard tea - after sitting in a haybox ( roughly, a thermal container, originally hay lined ) for up to three hours, but I am reminded of a shop I worked for when I was about 20 where the container for brewing tea was one of those ginormous old fashioned kettles and tea-breaks took place in two shifts.

    Fill with water, bring to boil, add 3 - 4 tablespoons of tea ( leaf, not bag ), and allow to simmer for 10 minutes. Serve to first shift. Refill with water ( do NOT empty out ), bring back to boil. Add another 2 tablespoons of tea, let simmer until second shift comes in for their cuppa.

    Now that tea had body !

    Chris Cosgrove

  43. Rattus Rattus

    No sugar?

    Ew. Sod that.

  44. Imsimil Berati-Lahn
    Coat

    Standard teapot not referred in standard.

    Disappointed that the standard brewing receptacle is not cited as the Utah / Newell / Melitta 1.5 litre white porcelain teapot. Perhaps that's only for a virtual real-tea environment.

  45. Blasbo
    Trollface

    How does it get cold?

    When do you pour it over ice?

    Seriously, here (Southern USA) tea comes in sweet and unsweet. Pour boiling water over Luzianne teabags, steep for 5 minutes or more, stir in sugar for sweet tea and pour over ice.

  46. Tibbs
    Flame

    If you add sugar to your tea, I automatically assume you're less intelligent than average.

    For me:

    Kenya Blend Tea (for that brick red finish and strip the roof of your mouth flavour)

    Swirled until it looks about right

    Mug

    Splash of Milk

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