back to article Quit the 2D internet, flee your cave, and GET LAID, barks rock star

Rock star Jack White, formerly of The White Stripes and The Dead Weather, has told fans to switch off the "two-dimensional" internet, get out of their "cave" and start experiencing something in "the real world". Recently appointed as an ambassador for the world's official Record Store Day, the musician has been getting into …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    He's quite right

    The only thing you'll see in a high street in ten years* is a solitary pound shop with a tumbleweed blowing past.

    Support your local shops. They have real jobs inside, real people with real knowledge of the products, not just some unskilled drones picking items from the racks in the latest mega warehouse.

    *Possibly less.

    1. Andrew Moore Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: He's quite right

      as an addition to this- Get to know the people you buy from. You will find that they are passionate and knowledgeable about their products and are quite willing to give you a deal on price.

      My butcher (who recently had a sign up saying 'Only Fools Eat Horses') always rounds his prices down to the nearest pound and is known to chuck in a couple of extra sausages "for the dog".

      1. Fogcat

        Re: He's quite right

        "You will find that they are passionate and knowledgeable about their products"

        As an example my local "comic book" store is run by an incredibly knowledgeable guy. You can tell him what stuff you've liked and he'll suggest new stuff, taking you to the shelves and quoting dialogue before he's even opened the book. Also when I went in to buy a present for my daughter's birthday and provided a list of things she liked his response was "ah yes I know who she is, haven't seen her in her for a while."

        It's even been know to get intentional authors doing their only UK signings in the shop and it's not even in London.

        I also go to a more expensive optician rather than a vision express type chain because I trust their advice, know they tell me honestly if I look like a twat in a particular design and clean service and replace screws free of charge. I'm always really please when I find another shop with staff like that.

        Those are the sort of shops the internet can't replace.

        1. Gaius
          Thumb Up

          Re: He's quite right

          I'm a diver, and diving kit is much cheaper on the Internet.

          But you can't get your tank filled on the internet, and no local dive shop can survive on doing tank fills alone... For that reason I've no problem paying a little more.;

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: He's quite right

            Cycling is the same- components wear out, and are cheaper online... but the bike shop will give you advice, lend you a tool, let you rummage through the bucket of old bits, meet other people, build you a wheel to spec... and the part is available that day. Well worth paying a few quid extra.

            * * *

            I came away from both Maplins and PC World yesterday, convinced that they deserve to fail. Maplin only sell the Raspberry Pi as part of a £75 package (with mouse, keyboard, power supply, cables and SD card... hardly £50 worth)... without fail, everything in there is overpriced by about 100%. PC World have an entire aisle filled with mice, but half of them are damned near identical, the rest have a touch pad instead of a scroll wheel; and the only decent Logitech rodents (with extra buttons and 'hyperscrolling') were the expensive ones that work on glass- a feature I don't need. Sod 'em.

      2. Ru

        Re: He's quite right

        Get to know the people you buy from. You will find that they are passionate and knowledgeable about their products and are quite willing to give you a deal on price

        Retail is filled with people who aren't passionate and don't care and are there because they get a paycheque and their employer didn't demand a degree and five years experience, etc. Specialist stores staffed by clueful folk are a minority in this country, sad to say.

        1. tony2heads

          @Ru

          I know of an ex-colleague whose son was fired from his Saturday retail job at a computer store because he was too interested and knowledgeable.

          Predictably the store went bust and he now works in IT (last heard of working on image recognition systems)

          Moral: some store managers seem to want to fail.

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: He's quite right

      So?

      > Support your local shops.

      Only makes sense if they sell foods. Or are *very* specialized.

      1. Dave 15 Silver badge

        Re: He's quite right

        Why does it only make sense for that?

        It makes sense to check on the internet and then check the shop. I am pretty good at DIY so don't need things 'installed' but many others aren't that good and often a local shop delivers and installs for free where the internet doesn't. Sometimes clothes are on offer in the local shop and are cheaper than the internet.

        Besides which, I've never ever ever met a **hot** sales girl on the internet who has agreed to go out on a saturday night for dinner and a film... I have at the local shops :) :) :) and it was much better than just getting a 'we delivered while you were out so you'll have to come to the post office' sticker through the door...

    3. Anonymous Coward 15

      Re: He's quite right

      You know what might help the high street? Stop giving planning permission to the large out-of-town centres.

      1. John H Woods Silver badge

        Re: He's quite right

        "Stop giving planning permission to the large out-of-town centres."

        ... with free parking. Often the town centres not only have expensive parking but extremely short maximum stays, which ensures you can't spend too much time in the local shops. Because you will avoid spending money in the retail parks owned by the friends of local government.

        1. Dave 15 Silver badge

          Re: He's quite right

          It is not about stopping the planning permission for out of town centres it is about stopping the nuclear war against the motorist. There is NO need for councils to charge or restrict parking anywhere, they just think they can make money from the motorist and 'force' an environmental 'agenda'. All they actually do is kill town centres - then have to recoup the loss from killing sports centres. Eventually it will be out of town shops and then finally the councils greed and arrogant stupidity will leave millions unemployed, derelict town centres, boarded up and damaged shops and us all sat at home w***** with the keyboard instead of out getting to know each other.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: He's quite right

        What would help even more is not allowing large supermarkets to threaten to bankrupt local councils if they oppose planning permission, with huge legal fees. A certain American-owned chain did it to our local council. Supermarkets have far too much economic power and their ability to frighten councils with hugely expensive litigation is an abuse.

      3. TeeCee Gold badge

        Re: He's quite right

        No, there are other factors at work here.

        When I was a lad, all our shopping was done at the local greengrocer, fishmonger, butcher, baker etc. My mother used to walk into the local town every day to sustain this.

        Then she got a job and we moved to going to the Supermarket in the next big town once a week. It is not physically possible to carry a week's shopping for a family, trying to park the car in one place and go to all the shops also proved impossible at weekends and time did not permit persisting with a daily run.

        I'm afraid that local shopping is now the province of only those with the time and/or money to invest in it. For the rest of us, it's the supermarket run.

        1. Dave 15 Silver badge

          Re: He's quite right

          I have a fridge and a freezer. I do a weekly shop around the market and town on a Saturday. I buy what I need and a few other bits. Sure the shop is heavy to carry but without the masses of packaging the supermarket provides I find I can manage it all - especially if I take the very 'uncool' shopping trolley.

          I do tend to buy some bulkier things separately - the potatoes are purchased from the local farm gate in a 56lb sack - that takes a lot of bulk out of the weekly shop and is damned cheap.

          For clothes and other shopping that also happens on Saturday - I often go grab the food, dump that back in the car, go have lunch out (often on the market and dirt cheap - and no, not horse burger, something recognisable being carved from a hot grill), then do the 'other bits'

        2. DanceMan
          Thumb Up

          Re: other factors (TeeCee)

          Society has changed. When I were a lad, mothers stayed home and fathers could support a house on their wages even with a modest job. Now both work, but the result is that housing prices have risen to match both incomes, and now, at least here in Vancouver with some of the world's highest property values, my kids can not afford a house. Some progress.

          Jack White is right enough, but the changes in society don't make his suggestions easily accomplished.

    4. system11
      Meh

      Re: He's quite right

      My taxes and cost of living go up far more quickly than my earnings, which is the case for most people at the moment. Online stores are considerably cheaper to buy from (even after postage). Online stores don't involve the misery of public transport or trying to park in punitively priced car parks used by careless idiots. Going to the town centre to buy something takes an hour of my spare time, buying it on Amazon takes less than a minute, leaving that hour free to enjoy doing other things.

      So monetarily and from a time/stress perspective, it makes no sense to buy from real shops on the high street, unless you enjoy the act of wandering around browsing busy shops. A lot of people don't and I've noticed that the older I get, the less inclined I am to put up with all the hassle.

      I'd also challenge the notion that online retailers don't have product knowledge, a lot of them do - it's really only Amazon & co where you're buying from a factory outlet.

    5. N2 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: He's quite right

      Couldn't agree more, people whine about local shops and suppliers closing down, but so very little about it, unfortunately. I've long supported local buisnesses & prefer companies with UK call centers.

    6. AceRimmer

      Re: He's quite right

      The high streets with proper local shops are doing ok.

      Think large village high street with independent butchers, cafe, book stores, antiques etc...

      The town and city high streets with their identikit HMV, Boots, WHSmiths, H Samuels, Argos H&M chain stores deserve to die.

    7. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: He's quite right

      "He's quite right"

      Yeah, I'd love to spend every moment of my spare time sat in the pub with friends, spending money in record shops, trying new restaurants, climbing mountains, driving Ferraris, exploring the Antarctic et al .

      Unfortunately I'm not a rock star, so have to do all those 'real things' in small, restricted doses, because I don't want to go and have to be 'real' by living in a cardboard box due to bankruptcy. And in between those enjoyable though expensive furloughs into the 'real' world, the Internet and my 'cave' is a cheap and fairly entertaining substitute.

      I sometimes wonder exactly how much money people have to have before they lose all connection with reality. Maybe 0.05 of a Bono?

      1. Dave 15 Silver badge

        Re: He's quite right

        Some things, but only some things, are cheaper on the net, try going to the shop and checking... just avoid using the over priced supermarkets and you might be surprised. Try the local market... thats even more likely to be cheaper (right up until the councils stupid greedy increases in charges put the market out of buisness

  2. jake Silver badge

    White's right.

    Folks are entirely too locked into their iFads & Fandroids these days. They probably have no idea what "stop and smell the roses" means anymore.

    Sad, really. Poor bastards.

    1. Andrew Moore Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: White's right.

      Bugger- now I'm going to have that Supertramp song stuck in my head all day...

      "White's right,

      he's bloody well right,

      he's got the bloody right to say..."

    2. Psyx
      Joke

      Re: White's right.

      "They probably have no idea what 'stop and smell the roses' means anymore."

      Sure I do.

      I just Googled it.

  3. Da Weezil
    Thumb Down

    Tesco here killed the high street record store. They opened... put in a full aisle of cds and dvds... then when the local businesses folded because all of the kids were buying the latest NOW xx crud there they slashed the range to a small selection of cheap oldie compilations and the sad old record company rigged top 40 albums. After Woolies and the other chain whose name escapes me folded we are left with our "local" HMV (65 miles away) hanging on precariously and nothing but a supermarket wasteland between.

    I'm afraid MR White is talking out of a different orifice to the one musicians usually use to accompany the strumming... there are NO real record stores left in many places now, The market place is one dimensional!

    1. Dave 15 Silver badge

      they didn't

      Tesco has a limited range of only the popular dvd/cd's. Its a lack of imagination and interest in people to be seen to be so 'uncool' that they can't possibly listen to something different to all the twitterartery.

      Not only have they lost the ability to interact with each other, they've sold their individuality and interest.

      I feel sorry for my son, a bunch of largely over weight, very dull, very boring, cardboard cut out two dimensional girls to talk to without ever meeting them.... how the hell will he get the proverbial leg over?

  4. John Deeb
    Boffin

    Nashville

    He's absolutely right if "right" means hanging out in downtown Nashville and swimming in cash and time.

  5. Thomas 4
    FAIL

    Bullshit

    Not to put too fine a point on it. My first real relationship was with a friend I'd met online and through many months and years of conversation with, eventually blossomed into the best two years of my life. If you tell me there's no romance to be found in a mouse click, you're doing it wrong.

    EDIT: And as for the "no beauty to be found in games", do we really have to re-tread this tired ground again? Even Roger Ebert admitted he fucked up on that score.

    1. Law
      Pint

      Re: Bullshit

      Yes - but Mr White doesn't make games, he sells music - ofcourse he'll tell you you're wasting your life playing games, when you could be buying his music and listening to him singing "I'm thinkin' about my doorbell When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it" over and over again and FEEEEEL something.

      I like some of his music, but I'm not really familiar with what he's done in the last, say, 5 years? Maybe he's right, it's because I'm wasting my life away on computers, games, making friends with like minded (but equally busy) people online... not to mention getting married, having kids, buying a house, then paying nearly £1k in childcare a month (which used to be my cinema / pub / eating out / music money).

  6. Turtle

    My Evaluation of J. White's Comments.

    Yes and no.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: My Evaluation of J. White's Comments.

      He's just putting out the same sentiments as Kurt Vonnegut Jr: "The meaning of life is to fart about, and don't let anyone tell you any different"

      1. Psyx
        Thumb Up

        Re: My Evaluation of J. White's Comments.

        "He's just putting out the same sentiments as Kurt Vonnegut Jr: "

        Personally, I think he's just puffed enough gear and had enough smoke blown up his ass to convince himself that making some music that some people bought means that he is equipped to offer life advice to the masses from a position of wisdom, and is some kind of guru.

  7. Khaptain Silver badge
    FAIL

    Business Plan

    Will Jack White please also provide us with the details of the business plan that will allow for the "comeback" of said wonderfull life.

    Big Business couldn't give shit about where there money comes from. They would be happy that everyone sat in caves.

    Jack has forgotten that it is big business that pays his salary.

    Being a rock star ( ex Rock star) does not entitle one to becoming the next philosophical guru. ( Dear Bono ,please take note)

    1. Khaptain Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Business Plan

      Dear Pedentards,

      There - Their ( Yes, I see it it now)

      1. Justin Stringfellow
        Headmaster

        Re: Business Plan

        PedAntards, surely?

        1. Khaptain Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: Business Plan

          <---- I am having a bad day ( again)...

  8. Captain Underpants

    Meh, there are many things that will get me to a record shop (or indeed any other brick & mortar shop) when I've actually got money to spend.

    Dismissive bellendery from Jack White isn't one of those things.

    In terms of getting specific products brick & mortar shops can be less straightforward than online shopping, but they have their own pleasures (especially when you're in a shop where the staff actually know about their products). And that's before you factor in the immediacy. But that doesn't mean they're perfect for everything, and if Jack White really wants to be taken seriously in his twaddle-passing-off-as-manifesto perhaps he should start by explaining how he squares his stance with the ongoing availability of his records via the likes of iTunes.

    (On another note, whatever genius decided that World Record Store Day should fall 3 weeks into a 4 week month, ie at the point where anyone on a monthly salary has likely already burned through most of their discretionary income for the month, may want to reconsider their logic or lack thereof...)

    1. Rob Crawford

      That's why White takes so much time producing proper mixes for vinyl versions and not simply going for the now standard maximum loudness.

      From friends who have worked with him, he is totally serious about the quality over profit.

      I'm not overly fond of the White Stripes but from friends who have worked with him (he was in the same studios and asked them to play on some tracks because he thought it would be fun) he is 100% for the do what you believe and enjoy school of music.

      To me we need more of that and it's nice to see somebody having some success despite having a decent attitude

      1. Captain Underpants

        @Rob

        That's well and good, and it's genuinely always nice to hear about musicians pushing for proper mixing and sound engineering.

        However, his "manifesto" is still a load of poorly-informed twaddle that assumes that everyone in the world has the same resources as he does; which, given that he's an internationally famous musician with a number of well-received albums and singles to his name, strikes me as somewhat unlikely. Sadly, not all of us have the time and cash to be able to buy everything we need or want exclusively through local suppliers. Through internet forums I've found more friends who share genuine interests and outlooks with me than I've ever found through traditional social outlets; I've also found far more about niche bits of culture (be it film, books, comics or music) in which I'm interested which it's vanishingly unlikely I would've found through normal retail chains. So dismissing all of it because some consortium of retailers asked him to be their poster boy is, on the face of it, not a move that deserves much response beyond "that's nice jack, now piss off ".

        I'm all for serious discussion about the future of the local retailer, but Jack's twaddlefesto is not the way to go about starting such a discussion.

        1. Rob Crawford

          So how many resources do you actually need to actually go outside and go to a shop, coffee shop, cafe etc, I really don't mean to attack anybody and everybody has their own circumstances, and possibly if I lived in Bumhole, Alabama (or anywhere in North Wales) I may also have no desire to local shops for local people.

          Currently I'm sitting in a pretty crap town that is looking incredibly empty because all the shite high street shops closed the branches as they where not making a large enough profit.

          However when I need nails or floorboards (I'm replacing the floorboards in the front room) I don't go to B&Q or Homebase, I go to a local supplier that is about 30% cheaper than the superstore ( and actually has the products I need not the usual DIY superstore 'standard products') it is also about the same distance away.

          One or twice a month I take a few hours and put the effort into getting the things that I need and if that means heading a few miles to another town then so be it (it's much more relaxing than going to Maplin and having a spotty idiot spouting crap and charging high prices)

          As for the internet I know lots of people online and friendships have developed (and I have met many of them) I collect locks and the internet is great for that, but lets face it I need to get outside and dropping into a locksmith, hardware store or a salvage yard is often the cheaper and a lot more interesting than simply purchasing and swapping online

          No you don't/can't buy everything from local specialists but you can try to make the effort to purchase from somebody who knows the difference between their arse and their elbow and who have what you actually require and are cheaper too.

          Lets face it it requires the building of a better mousetrap before the world will beat a path to your door

          1. Captain Underpants

            @Rob:

            The key resource is *money*. I moved to London from southeast Ireland about 6 years ago, doing a very similar job here to the one I did there, and surprisingly found the cost of living here (rent aside) to be more or less the same - but I earn about £10K more here than I did there. Now consider that when I lived there, it was entirely normal to see most retailers dealing with media like DVDs, CDs and games keep products at their launch price for their entire lifespan. So many games remain €60 games, CDs remain €25 cds, and DVDs remain €30 DVDs. Over the last 7 or 8 years, a bunch of those retailers wondered why so many consumers in Ireland collectively told them to shove it, and started shopping online. But many of them failed to adjust their prices accordingly (Hello HMV, hello GAME) and have unfortunately since gone bust, which is bad for everyone. But to blame the consumer is a shortsighted and incomplete conclusion which fails to fully account for the root cause of the problem.

            But let's shift focus to the UK.

            The UK national average salary based on the most recent census is about £24600; knock off say 30% for tax, that's ~17200. Knock off say 8400 for rent, that's 8800 left - for travel, heating & electricity, food, insurance, and discretionary income.

            Now say to someone "That record shop down the road will sell you a great album for £10, but Amazon has it for £7.50". Or "The specialty DVD shop has that film you wanted for £15, but it's available online for £5 + postage". Or "Gamestop has the game you want to buy, but it's on Steam at 75% off". Because for a massive chunk of the population, those are the choices. The numbers are pretty simple, but the context is not.

            Amazon vs the bookshop is a good example of this - I've used Amazon for a good while and find that as far as online retail experiences go, they set the standard. I also have a very real problem with their attitude of not paying any tax in the UK, and have for some time been making an effort to limit how much stuff I buy through them if it's at all possible to get it elsewhere. In particular, I make an effort to regularly visit actual bookshops (including the small one a couple of streets away from me) and spend money on whatever they've got in stock that looks interesting (rather than seeking out specific titles). I like them, and I figure I can afford to spend more on the same books there and the "extra" cost is worth it for the convenience and pleasure of having them available (I've had my bacon saved on more than one occasion for late-purchase gifts, for example).

            The point I'm trying to make is that it's not quite as simple as saying "support local retailers if they're available" - because for a lot of people the cheaper prices offered by online shops are the difference between "I can afford it" and "I can't afford it". Some of the time, people don't realise what they lose from not going to a local shop - but other times, the local retailer simply isn't offering a compelling or realistically priced option.

            Consider the way that the Hugh Fernley-Whittingstalls of the cooking world will exhort people to buy everything locally and on the day - which is awesome if you actually have the time and option of going to a locally-supplied greengrocer, butcher, baker, fishmonger ect - but a bit of a fucker if like many of us you work 8 or 9 hours a day and have to spend 1-2 hours a day travelling to and from work. There's a reason that the supermarket concept gained traction in the first place.

  9. Crisp Silver badge
    Coat

    Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your PC and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

    Fly a kite.

    1. Thecowking

      Re: Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your PC and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

      Why don't you!

      Ahh, that was a great show.

  10. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Meh

    It's 2013 and people still think "rockstar" opinions are relevant?

    Get outta here!

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Meh

      Rock *star*?

      Maybe rock brown dwarf or rock grain of space dust, more like.

  11. Gene Cash Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    "face-to-face interaction with a human being"

    No, sorry, I don't want any of that. I even wear the ThinkGeek shirt that says "You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day" and I mean it.

    Plus my New Year's Resolution is to buy as much stuff online instead of local, because the local people are clueless morons.

  12. RonWheeler

    Missing the point

    I think his tirade is meant to be an appeal to the heart rather than the head. Way more articulate than that posturing self-righteous tosser Bono.

  13. M Gale

    I know someone who's like that.

    Telling me about how I should go out and do stuff.. usually while I'm out and doing stuff with him.

    He's suggested going out on some camping holiday at some point. Because being stuck in the middle of a field with a canvas rain-attraction device and having nothing except a transistor radio and a supply of marijuana is always preferable to sitting indoors with central heating and a roof that works.

    Jack says I'm living life two-dimensionally? I say he doesn't know Jack. Now excuse me while I go out, in this case having fun with the Hubsan X4 quadcopter. Available on the Internet for about 35 quid.

    Or you could, you know, buy it from a bricks and mortar Maplins store for £50. Your choice. I prefer living life hyperdimensionally, myself.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: I know someone who's like that.

      I spied that quadropter in Maplins yesterday, couldn't be arsed to look it up on my phone... I don't think they wanted as much £50 for it, though most of their stuff is overpriced. I'm still getting value out of a £20 Syma S105G helicopter. A fantastic toy, very stable and suitable for beginners, and I haven't managed to break it yet.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I know someone who's like that.

      Youth of today - we had all of that but we didn't have the marijuana to make it tolerable. Or the toy helicopters. We had to make do with transistor radios that made horrible noises, and model boats some of which still used valves in the control gear.

      Ah, the past. Nostalgia really is not what it used to be.

  14. Steve Button
    WTF?

    He's kind of right.

    Go out to the local park on a sunny day, and you'll find fewer kids playing. Go out wandering into the woods and it's mostly middle aged / fogies. Record shops are dead or dying. Seriously, get over it. This is not the way media is going to be delivered. Having said that, our local high street seems to be as busy as ever although it's all clothes shops and coffee shops.

    I guess the obesity and mental health "epidemic" that might be quietly creeping up on us could be blamed on xbox and watching footy instead of going out and actually playing.

    Having said all that, I don't want to go back to the "good old days" when if I wanted to buy a new TV I would have to go out to a shop and get a demo from a sales droid, only to find when I get it home that it sounds rubbish and I paid far too much. I can now get the benefit of 100s of reviews and comparisons.

    Not so sure about the weather though, they don't seem to be able to predict what will happen this afternoon with any degree of accuracy so I might as well just look out of the window.

    Geeks like us DO need to get out more and meet real people. Get some sunshine. Get on your bike. Go running. Stop staring at screens all day + all evening. Otherwise you'll end up fat, sad, lonely and unwell and being propped up by drugs. I've seen this happen to lots of people and it's a gradual and subtle decline into depression.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Ketlan
    Thumb Down

    Up his white stripey butt

    Jack White can kiss my great fat arse. A lot of us (the disabled) don't have a choice of how we carry out our social interactions. Personally I regard the internet as a boon, where I can be sociable with all kinds of interesting (good and bad) people whenever I want/am able to. I wish I could go out and 'sniff the vinyl' from time to time but I can't, so fuck him for assuming everyone can do what he can do.

    1. peyton?
      Devil

      Re: Up his white stripey butt

      Another reason to stay inside: you minimize the risk of running into some pontificating, self-aggrandizing prick - like, say, Jack White.

  16. tony2heads

    Weather forecasts and Timetables

    These are only works of fiction anyway.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I would very much love to frequent independent record shops, and smell vinyl. However there are none in this city (Coventry) anymore, the last shop closed down a month ago. And even Technics discontinued their SL1200 / SL1210 turntables, the rock solid choice of DJ's and professionals, a couple of years back.

    I am sure if you live in some hipster location which shows arthouse films and have infinite cash and an almost Nathan Barley lifestyle, then I am sure you have these options. And to be honest the 'youth' of today seem more interested in playing girly American R&B down their mobile phones, or X-factor dirge, than any sort of independent music. Even predominantely 'underground' music which has a bit more of a 'working class bent' than arty stuff, such as house, breakbeat hardcore, gabber, drum & bass, proper hip hop, and the culture that goes with it seems to attract little interest now. And as for alternative / indie I certainly can't see say a new Happy Mondays or Stone Roses emerge in this day and age...

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Outside? In the meat space world?

    Nah......

  19. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Que?

    One of the reasons I buy online is to AVOID having to rub shoulders with twits like Mr White. Having said that, though I regularly spend hours in secondhand bookshops and charity stores looking for rare editions and old books, it's because I want a book, not to get laid, thanks. When I was of the age when casual sex was top priority I was looking in more target-rich environments than record stores - maybe Mr White is the one needing a bit of advice on getting laid?

  20. Nanners
    Meh

    I buy my records

    on the internet. Real romance only leads to disease, children, and slobbery, whiner stalkers.

  21. LyleS
    Thumb Down

    Rubbish

    I would far rather get out an do stuff like kayaking, climbing, hiking, snowboarding, mountain biking etc. Shopping is just a crap thing that eats up my play time.

    I have no interest in hearing one person's feedback on their product which they may be getting paid commission on, I can get a whole load of people's feedback in a fraction of the time online.

    Therefore I'll do my internet shopping, enjoying lower prices, during my lunch break and go and enjoy myself doing real stuff when I have time off work.

    1. Tikimon Silver badge

      Re: Rubbish - Second that!

      "I would far rather get out an do stuff like kayaking, climbing, hiking, snowboarding, mountain biking etc. Shopping is just a crap thing that eats up my play time."

      Total second here, including the list of activities. In fact, I just bought a new mountain bike online! There are plenty of Local Bike Shops within ten miles of my house, but none of them could offer me a full-suspension bike for less than $1900... for a VERY low-end ride. I got an awesome all-mountain beast delivered assembled for $1000. Game, set and MATCH to online retail.

      Times are hard, and I can't spend more for a lesser product to support the locals.

      Most people DO need to get out more, especially in the outdoors. :-)

  22. Don Jefe

    Best Part

    If people want to stay holed up with their devices and ignore the real world that's fine with me. It just means the parks are less crowded, there's less chance of meeting someone during a walk in the woods, and there are more women everywhere for ME to flirt with.

    There's a huge super fun world out there that costs nothing to participate in and if people want to imagine their life online instead of living in the real world that's their business and its fine with me.

    1. Steve Button
      Unhappy

      Re: Best Part

      "If people want to stay holed up with their devices and ignore the real world that's fine with me."

      ... except that in the UK we have to collectively pay via the NHS for the type 2 diabetes and depression, drugs, treatments, etc. etc. to keep these people alive for decades (plus their disability benefit and unemployment benefit as many can no longer work). I guess it's the same in many other countries but just means higher insurance costs.

      I'm not offering any immediate solutions to this, and I'm not blaming these people for being lazy. This is just human nature to take the path-of-least-resistance.

      If the government "interferes" too much, they get called a Nanny State. Perhaps we should partly fund the NHS from the gaming industry and from TV, but I can't see that being very popular.

      Now *I'm* getting depressed. :-(

  23. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Coat

    I went

    outside once

    Graphics and sound were excellent, but the plot sucked big time, then I found out you dont get any save points or respawns.

    Coat... because sometimes I still have to go outside

  24. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Er....

    "record stores are selling discs full of soul that you haven’t felt yet. So why do we choose to hide in our caves and settle for replication?"

    Replication? What, like recordings? Discs 'full of soul'? Epic Fail right there, Jack old chap! Oh, by the way, I kinda agree with you, inasmuch as I don't fulfill the "basement dwelling script kiddie" stereotype you are clearly basing your oh-so-valid-not-an-appeal-to-celebrity-at-all opinion upon, which is why I learned to play a small selection of instruments and joined a band to keep music live, where it should be....

    ....And put some recordings out there on the INTERNET for free, rather than being an RIAA whore like you.

    As for there being no soul in the internet, why is it that MY chosen technology of choice (my computer, rather than my ACOUSTIC guitar) is somehow inferior to yours (an ELECTRIC guitar and AMPLIFIER)? Explain the distinction, if you would be so kind? And don't even think about going down the "solitary and anti-social" route for an argument, because, quite frankly, I'm willing to bet I have more contact with real people all over the world than you do in your enclosed, narrow-minded, music star lifestyle. Oh, and screaming fans that you need barriers and bodyguards to seperate you from do not count, and nor does your sister who is the only other musician you are willing to work with.

    And no art in computing? Really? You've clearly never learned to code, or spent anytime in Skyrim (whose music is way better than your noise) or similar epic work, or even browsed YouTube for the vast range of unsung musical (and other) talent there is to be found there which people are now able to create and share without being tied to some blood-sucking corporation.

    Don't lecture me, you narrow-minded luddite.

    1. Fogcat

      Re: Er....

      " .... your sister who is the only other musician you are willing to work with."

      Cough... The Raconteurs?

  25. Mike Flugennock
    Coffee/keyboard

    Record Store Day?

    Y'know, I could get behind the sentiment in the headline a little more if it weren't coming from a high-profile, famous musician who likely gets all the top-quality pussy he wants.

    As far as (giggle) Record Store Day, I can't remember the last time I was in a goddamn' record store -- quite possibly because it's been some years since the last independent record store in my city closed. There's allegedly a few good ones out in the 'burbs, but they're waaaaayyyyyyy the fuck out there.

    Pretty much all we've got now in my city (Washington DC) is big fat chains where the latest flash-in-the-pan bullshit albums are sold at upwards of TWENTY GODDAMN' DOLLARS APIECE by rock-stupid, apathetic teenagers.

    Record Store Day. B'WAHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  26. gromm
    FAIL

    You don't hang out in record stores.

    I remember record stores. Except that the period I remember had little to nothing to do with records. Jack White is no older than I either, so he has no excuse for waxing nostalgic about something that never existed.

    I don't remember anything about them being a place to hang out in. I only recall the standard kind of shop atmosphere whereby you buy the crap they're selling and get out, or they'll call security. Oh sure, you could sample some CDs and see if you like the new content and all, but there was little to no social interaction in these places. And certainly no place to sit.

    No, we hang out in restaurants, coffee shops, bars, pubs, clubs, and maybe even libraries (although libraries don't really offer much for social interaction either - you're required to shut up, actually). Often enough, we use the internet to make that hanging out happen in the first place.

    1. Mike Flugennock

      Re: You don't hang out in record stores.

      Actually, it depends on the record store. Back in my college days, we had a little joint called Penguin Feather Records, a combination record store and head shop where you could find, along with the usual high-profile releases by the Stones or Pink Floyd, damn' near any kind of obscure indie or import album you could possibly think of -- and if they didn't have it, they usually knew about it and would order you a copy. Everybody who worked there was a hardcore music geek in pretty much every genre you could think of, from psych to prog to glam to funk to R&B to reggae to punk and hardcore. I got to be really good pals with several of the people who worked there, and when I was there picking up a copy of a Cramps or Slade or early Pink Floyd album and a pack of rolling papers, I often wound up hanging out talking music with the manager or one of my music geek pals who worked there.

      No way in hell I could do that in Harmony Hut or Tower Records back then. The people who ran those places were chain-store zombies.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rebel off his rocker chair, and so out of touch. Record Stores are Dinosaur Retail e.g. HMV!

    The only things I buy in shops are food, some clothing, other essentials, and assorted bargains in discount shops. All of my media, bicycle gear, computer gear, and any luxuries are researched and bought on-line, often much cheaper than shops.

    The idea of fixed physical media is hilarious to me now; I have many TB of FreeNAS for media etc., and Net Radios, which default to stations, which blow away a lot of the banal chart dross found in shops. Most of my old fixed physical media is ripped to my NAS now, because physical media is so inconvenient; I won't be buying any more.

    Bricks and Glass shops don't compete because they lack vision! Even Apple shops use the same tired old recycled retail concepts. Where are the working 3D printers, and other fun and engaging stuff? Where are the Maker sites?

    I see little culture that interests me outside; it is often banal, twee, superficial, pretentious, too expensive, dross, or base emotion. The prevalent emphasis on Consumerism and Extrovert 'culture' is sooo boring, and the idea of talking small talk tripe with small minded people bores me senseless!

  28. Corinne

    Depends on the shop of course....

    A good friend of mine owns an old fashioned independant record shop. No recycled pap, in fact he only stocks second hand stuff that he spends much of his time sourcing and though there's some "standard" stuff there's also a massive amount of rare and hard to get hold of music available there.

    He and his (single) staff member both have an encyclopedial knowledge of their specialist areas of music & he doesn't stock much stuff in the types he doesn't know about, because he's of the view that a big part of his job is to be able to advise his customers not just flog any crap. He's always willing to let someone have a listen if they aren't sure about a particular disc (vinyl as well as CD of course, and even some cassettes). He will spend time sourcing stuff for customers, but will also recommend that the customer themselves search on line stores rather than him do it for them and have to charge them an extra quid or so over what it would cost them.

    He'll never be rich, makes just enough to keep going really, but gains a massive satisfaction from his job. I'd guess this is the kind of shop that Jack Black is talking about rather than the HMVs of this world.

  29. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
    Pint

    I see trees.. what a wonderful world..

    Ah, I can smell it now, sipping peach wine with dearest friends in the cherry orchards. The sound of music played by those you love ringing out around the air. I drink it in, yes the smell, of peaches, of cherries, warm bodies bathed that morning in orange scented flowers...

    And then I wake up. No need to smell the coffee, coz I know what time it is.

    Where I live is a wasteland. There are only charity shops and sandwich bars. The post office and the co-op.

    There are three pubs. The pubs must be subsidized by the banks because there is NEVER anyone in them.

    The obligatory odd alky or two. The lonely old lady with a dog. The ex rugby player who has seen better days.

    The kids are spiteful. The people are beaten. They have no fight left. They never had any fight to begin with.

    Record shop, drinking coffee and tall tales? Sounds good to me. When do I leave?

    He's not quite Bono yet. Give him a year or two kids. Buy his records. Feed his fire. Watch him bloat out and blow up like Elvis. He's goin' out in a blaze of glory, coz it's rock'n'roll kiddies, and he knows something you don't...

    I know about the crackers that spent 10 years in front of a computer screen tracing through SoftIce and IDA, WinDasm32 dead listings etc. etc. - they regretted it.

    I don't know what I am trying to say. But I've said it, whatever it is...

  30. walterp
    FAIL

    The meaning of the word "Cave"

    I was surprised to see the author confused about the meaning of the word "cave" [Well, I guess I shouldn't be, given then modern state of education]. The cave that Jack White white is talking about is the Allegory of the Cave. This is reinforced by the use of phase 2d.

    The Allegory is written as a dialogue between Plato's brother Glaucon and Plato's mentor Socrates.

    Plato has Socrates describe a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato's Socrates, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to viewing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall do not make up reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners.

  31. gromm

    If you're as old as Jack White and you're still concerned about "getting laid"...

    I noticed that he was born the same year I was.

    Funny how I don't concern myself with all that because family life keeps me too busy and poor to get out and hang out in cool places that sell music. This either speaks volumes for his inability to find a significant other, or it speaks volumes about how much money he'd like to be making, vs how much he is making.

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