back to article Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

Motormouth Top Gear star Jeremy Clarkson has joked he will kill the spammers who took his Twitter account on a joyride to tout dodgy diet pills. Several tweets appeared on his feed promoting miracle weight-loss medicine. But the stunt may backfire on the Twitter-jackers: rather than delete the spam and reset his password, …

COMMENTS

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  1. LarsG

    Technology is not one of his strong points, softly down to his age.

    1. Andrew Newstead

      Oy! Less about the age!

      1. Andrew Newstead

        There are quite a few of us "more mature" readers out here and we don't take kindly to being tarred by this brush (well I don't anyway).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          so I WILL find you

          and KILL you, etc.

        2. Jamie Jones Silver badge
          Coat

          "There are quite a few of us "more mature" readers out here and we don't take kindly to being tarred by this brush (well I don't anyway)."

          Awww, you replied twice - did you forget your first reply? :-)

          *runs away cowardly-like*

          1. zaax
            Coat

            I think he had what is called a 'senior moment'

            I'm out of the back door, down the street getting the bus home.

    2. ChrisBoy
      Unhappy

      I don't mind being compared by age...

      ... if that's all that's being compared.

      I know how the internal combustion engine works, am quite at home with all kinds of technology and work with a fine and varied selection of programming languages, old and new.

      That I have anything more than greying hair in common with the dundus who does more than most to make the celebration of wilful ignorance 'fun' would be a slur, to put it mildly.

      1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

        Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

        I have an working knowledge of an internal combustion engine as well, but I don't have greying hair in common. This is despite my being only about two months younger than Jeremy, and is neither because I am bald nor is it because I use dye.

        I sympathise with my follicaly or pigmentaly challenged compatriots.

      2. djack

        Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

        I don't think you're being fair there. He has his viewpoints and they may be polarised to yours, that doesn't necessarily make them invalid or willingly ignorant any more than yours are.

        Quite often his belligerence, when not exaggerating for entertainment purposes, is due to him actually believing what he is saying is right. Importantly, he is willing to change his opinions if they are shown to be wrong. The whole bank account details thing is a case in point. He believed that 'the experts' were over exaggerating the problem and needlessly scaring people and throwing seemingly pointless obstacles in the way of daily life. Believing himself to be right, he didn't just grandstand but put his money where his mouth was.

        He was shown to be dead wrong. Did he dissemble? Did he go on the defensive or on the offensive? Nope. Unlike many, he quickly acknowledged the reality of the situation and changed his opinion.

        1. boltar Silver badge
          Flame

          Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

          "I don't think you're being fair there. He has his viewpoints and they may be polarised to yours, that doesn't necessarily make them invalid or willingly ignorant any more than yours are."

          Anyone with right wing views is labelled ignorant or reactionary or some other right-on putdown for anyone the "liberal" (read: totalitarian stalinist) lefties disagree with since they can't handle their naive world view being challenged and don't handle criticism well.

          1. Ted Treen
            Big Brother

            Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

            You're absolutely spot on.

            "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" is not a phrase which trips easily off a leftie's tongue.

            You're much more likely to get the shrill hectoring tones of Harridan Harman denouncing you as some sort of *ist, the slayer of babies & the fount of all the world's travails instead.

            Classic leftie style: If you can't beat 'em, sling loads of crap and see how much sticks.

            It's really rather frightening how often that a lie or inaccuracy is repeated a few times and then becomes effectively an incontrovertible fact - Are you listening, BBC, Grauniad, Citizen Toynbee, inter alia?

            1. Gordon Fecyk
              Thumb Down

              "Classic leftie style?"

              Classic leftie style[...] It's really rather frightening how often that a lie or inaccuracy is repeated a few times and then becomes effectively an incontrovertible fact.

              Like, say, "Obama is a muslim?" That's not exactly "leftie style" yet it is incontrovertible fact among certain sects of non-lefties.

              Where's the foot-in-mouth icon?

            2. Ted Treen

              Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

              @My earlier post - 20/02 @16:53

              Lots of downvotes - the loyal employees of Minitrue must be commenting...

          2. Someone Else Silver badge
            Devil

            @boltar -- Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

            Oooooh...name calling!

            How quaint.

          3. LionelB
            Mushroom

            Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

            "Anyone with right wing views is labelled ignorant or reactionary or some other right-on putdown for anyone the "liberal" (read: totalitarian stalinist) lefties disagree with since they can't handle their naive world view being challenged and don't handle criticism well."

            Anyone with left wing views is labelled totalitarian stalinist or some other reactionary putdown for anyone the "conservative" (read: fascist nazi) establishment disagree with since they can't handle their naive world view being challenged and don't handle criticism well.

            There, fixed that for you.

            1. Richard Jones 1

              Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

              Sorry LionelBee-in-your-bonnet you fixed what exactly? Or did you not like your heroine Harlot Hariman being brought into the discussion.

              Just for the record I would be very happy to bring back public executions for those setting out to destroy the lives of others - that prat in charge(?) of the libelous demagogs for example and if you ask very nicely we might squeeze you in at the end of the event. Sorry it has to be the end, we would not like the paying punters frightened off would we?

        2. dcluley

          Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

          I too have the grey hair. My recollection of the Clarkson Bank Account details affair is that he only published the same details that anyone who writes a cheque publishes: bank sort code and account name and number. Charity direct debits are easy to set up by anyone giving correct details of an account not necessarily their own.. The Direct Debit system allows for incorrect payments to be reclaimed which, if I remember aright, was done in Jazza's case. All in fact worked as intended.

          1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
            Pirate

            Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

            @dcluley, it might have "worked as intended", but that is not the same as being a well-designed, secure system. Could a criminal set up a direct debit to a front company just using the same details? Could a criminal set up direct debits to a charity, then take the money from the charity because it is poorly administered (concentrating on its intended purpose)? How difficult is it to reclaim an "incorrect" payment? Do the banks care that their weak system allows their customers to be robbed?

            1. dcluley

              Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

              @Allan George Dyer. Your message was obscured by the sounds of moving goalposts. Yes criminals can commit crimes but that wasn't what the original comment was about.

        3. Vic

          Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

          > that doesn't necessarily make them invalid or willingly ignorant any more than yours are.

          Did you see him that time they had to build a Caterham?

          WIlfully ignorant. To the point that it was embarassing to watch.

          Vic.

          1. djack

            Re: I don't mind being compared by age...

            "Did you see him that time they had to build a Caterham?

            WIlfully ignorant. To the point that it was embarassing to watch."

            What, you mean where he's putting on an entertainment show, playing the incompetent clown?

            Put him in a different context where he is giving his opinion not just comedic* entertainment and he has a totally different set of apparent values.

            If you took almost everything on TG at face value, you would believe that all three of them could barely stand each-other and take great delight in endangering/humiliating the others. Watch the episode when Hammond comes back after his near-fatal crash - that mask significantly slips there.

            * Remember, comedy, like many other art-forms, is a subjective thing.

    3. C 18
      Facepalm

      <schrodinger section>He's just an attention seeking polemicist. Or probably some other type of malignant cyst.

      (Note: schrodinger sections don't need closing tags seeing as they probably don't exist.)

      1. madmalc
      2. Jamie Jones Silver badge
        Joke

        "(Note: schrodinger sections don't need closing tags seeing as they probably don't exist.)

        ...... or maybe they probably do?

    4. DrXym Silver badge

      It's probably less to do with his age and more to do with being a professional Luddite.

      1. boltar Silver badge
        WTF?

        "It's probably less to do with his age and more to do with being a professional Luddite."

        Right, thats why he prefers Model-T Fords and not the latest supercars.

        Oh, wait...

    5. JeffyPooh Silver badge
      Pint

      JC makes more in a week than the PoTUS makes in a year

      Just sayin'.

  2. Def Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Baffoon!

    That is all.

    1. LPF
      Meh

      Sad internet no mark.. that is all.

      See how that works?

    2. sabroni Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Baffoon!

      Classic, though not as good as "irrelephant", which I read here yesterday!

      1. TheRealRoland
        Thumb Up

        Re: Baffoon!

        Peddle to the Mettle?

  3. Alan Bourke

    The surname of that particular miniskirted poutresse ...

    ... is 'Gillan', I think you'll find.

    1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      I assume that she pushed them into the Time Vortex,

      and now they were never born. This also saves the effort of deleting the unwanted tweets manually. They just fade away like Marty McFly's family photos.

  4. Thomas 4
    Meh

    Uh-huh

    Nice try but it sounded a lot more scary when it came from Liam Neeson's mouth.

    1. bitten
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Uh-huh

      Taken? So Twitter is the name of his daughter?

    2. davidp231
      Thumb Up

      Re: Uh-huh

      Nice try but it sounded a lot more scary when it came from Liam Neeson's mouth.

      Even more so if he used is Hannibal persona from The A Team....

  5. ukgnome Silver badge
    Facepalm

    He was paraphrasing "Taken"

    ** apparently - No, I haven't seen it either

    1. Annihilator
      IT Angle

      Indeed, still, well worth making an article out of a single tweet that was parodying a well-known film, eh?

  6. fixit_f
    Thumb Up

    Silly man

    He loves to threaten and annoy people. Which, you have to hand it to him, is pretty courageous given that the location of his house near Chipping Norton is public knowledge. Last time I went past he didn't have anything in the way of defenses up either, well unless you count an old fighter jet in the front garden....

    1. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: Silly man

      "He loves to threaten and annoy people. Which, you have to hand it to him, is pretty courageous given that the location of his house near Chipping Norton is public knowledge. Last time I went past he didn't have anything in the way of defenses up either, well unless you count an old fighter jet in the front garden...."

      I believe he owns a shotgun and once punched Piers Morgan in the face, if that helps his credentials in standing up for himself.

      1. JetSetJim Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Silly man

        He's got my backing purely from having punched Piers in the face. I don't suppose there's footage on Youtube?

        1. Psyx
          Pint

          Re: Silly man

          There wasn't when I looked a few years ago.

          He might be abrasive, but to my mind he gets an awful lot of kudos for doing it.

          Piers is certainly on my 'Top Ten People I Want To Punch In The Face' list.

          1. JetSetJim Silver badge
            Unhappy

            Re: Silly man

            It would seem there's not even pictures (according to Google) and it happened at the 2004 Press Awards bash - you'd have thought there was a camera or two lurking around in a room full of journos!

            1. Psyx
              Pint

              Re: Silly man

              "you'd have thought there was a camera or two lurking around in a room full of journos!"

              Don't be silly: Journos know better than to let people with cameras in when they're drinking/snorting.

      2. robin48gx

        Re: Silly man

        Anyone who punched peirs morgan in the face is ok with me.

    2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Silly man

      His car mad, I get in a car and all of a sudden I threaten and annoy people.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stupid little boy

    People have been thrown in jail for making threats like that on Twitter. Hope someone throws the book at him. Then we'll see what a big, clever grown-up boy he is.

    1. LPF
      Thumb Up

      Re: Stupid little boy

      Big boys don't post AC! for a start ...

      But hey how about using your intelligence if you have any for just one second. Unless you have someone who is actually being threatned what crime has he committed idiot! Your so stupid and eager to be with the "In Crowd" that you did nto even think about the trite PC rubbish you posted.

      I could threaten to kill "Charlie Brown" , does not mean I have comitted a crime , unless you know, 1) he exists, 2) I meant that person.

      So why don't you step away from the keyboard and wait for school holidays to end.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Stupid little boy

        'Your so stupid'

        Sigh.

        1. Naughtyhorse

          Re: Stupid little boy

          At least is wasn't all capital letters.

          1. Philip Lewis
            Pirate

            Re: Stupid little boy

            "At least is wasn't all capital letters."

            .. or rAndOm COmbinaTIons of tHeM

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Stupid little boy

        I could threaten to kill "Charlie Brown" , does not mean I have committed a crime

        Actually it might; at least in the UK.

        http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1981/47

        Read section 1(2)....

        1. Roger Stenning
          FAIL

          Re: Stupid little boy

          Not to mention s.16, Offences Against The Person Act, 1861, which provides...

          "16 Threats to kill.

          A person who without lawful excuse makes to another a threat, intending that that other would fear it would be carried out, to kill that other or a third person shall be guilty of an offence and liable on conviction on indictment to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years."

          Mr. Clarkson said (words to the effect that) he'd "find them and kill them". Doesn't matter if he was quoting someone or something, he's made the comment in a manner where it's possible that someone could actually believe that he's going to set out to do it. And that, children, is an offence.

          He really, truly, has to learn to curb his voice of his incredibly stupid and thoughtless remarks somewhat drastically. The consequences of his carrying on regardless could be profoundly embarrassing to him, at the very least, and drastically lifestyle-changing at the worst, if the law decides to do something about it.

          While we're on the topic of life changing events, let's also not forget that the kind of organised folks who hack these accounts tend to have strong ties to some of the less friendly mutual benefit societies around the globe, many of which don't give two hoots about putting two (frequently more) rounds into the head of journalistic types, with or without provocation.

          And no, while I'm most definitely not a fan of his, I wouldn't want to see him catch lead for being a complete fool.

          1. a cynic writes...
            Headmaster

            Re: Stupid little boy

            "...Doesn't matter if he was quoting someone or something, he's made the comment in a manner where it's possible that someone could actually believe that he's going to set out to do it. ..."

            er..no. The Act you quote requires intent ("...a threat, intending that...") which be hard to prove given he's quoting a film. I think they could do him under the s127 of the Communications Act but the DPP's guidelines for s127 suggest it would need to be a credible threat - so even that is touch and go.

            Of course the biggest problem would be identifying the "victim" - who if they did come forward would have to admit to a criminal offence themselves.

            1. Red Bren
              Pirate

              He quoted a film?

              Well that's infringing Holywood's intellectual property rights, which is a crime far worse than murder! Send him to the tower for the rest of his natural life, with no possibility of parole! It's the only language these freetards understand!

          2. koolholio
            WTF?

            Re: Stupid little boy

            Seperate fact from perception:

            I am not a lawyer... but

            1) Whilst it may be an exemption to commit crime (within reason) for the purposes of detecting or preventing crime.

            2) I do question if his supposed 'threat' could be classed as righteous rage.

            3) How Mr Clarkson conducts himself publicly has been called into question before.

            Perception: Mr Clarkson is somewhat right to be angry, as I'm sure most users of any service would be, had it happened to them? However I dont believe any 'threat' to be withstanding, since there doesnt seem to be evidence within the article, of 'pre-meditation' or a 'realistic means' of carrying out the supposed 'threat'... given the expected 'heightened emotional response' that would come from such?

            I could be wrong about all of that though, simply because I am not familiar with any specifics surrounding the instance, but its just suggestion.

          3. Psyx
            Stop

            Re: Stupid little boy

            "let's also not forget that the kind of organised folks who hack these accounts tend to have strong ties to some of the less friendly mutual benefit societies around the globe, many of which don't give two hoots about putting two (frequently more) rounds into the head of journalistic types, with or without provocation."

            Fortunately, this isn't a nation where journalists get shot in the face by criminals for saying rude things about them.

          4. Naughtyhorse

            Re: Stupid little boy

            and while we are about it, lets just check the cell tower locations of Mr & Mrs Klaxons phones at the time <ahem>_she_ got all those speeding tickets.

          5. veti Silver badge
            Stop

            Re: Stupid little boy

            Well - not really. Because the law you quoted says "intending that the other would fear it would be carried out...".

            In other words: the test is what Clarkson intended them to believe, not what they took it into their heads to believe. It would be trivially easy for his lawyer to argue "my client is well known for shooting his mouth off about all kinds of things and has never been known to follow through on a threat of serious violence, there was never any question that anyone would seriously feel threatened by him."

            At which point, there's no case to answer, and no evidence to suggest otherwise. Indeed, if required, I'm sure the lawyer could come up with several other examples of the defendant making similar threats in a similar tone, none of which were ever meant seriously.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Stupid little boy

          Asked a former police colleague about this one, he said the purpose is that say for example someone tried to say kick out a window with the aim of criminal damage or robbing the contents of whats behind it, but the glass is far too strong to be kicked out (i.e. making the crime impossible), they can still be prosecuted. So you can probably threaten to kill Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus (not Torvalds!) or any other peanuts character you wish with immunity from prosecution.

      3. DJ Smiley
        Facepalm

        Re: Stupid little boy

        With your lack of grammar it appears maybe you also should go back to school.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Stupid little boy

        "Your so stupid and eager"

        Irony Police, arrest this "man"..

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Stupid little boy

        "Big boys don't post AC! for a start ..."

        Who's to say Anonymous isn't related to Noel?

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Stupid little boy

        > Your so stupid

        No further comment.

    2. Psyx
      Happy

      Re: Stupid little boy

      "Then we'll see what a big, clever grown-up boy he is."

      Sorry, I couldn't hear what abuse you were dishing over the sound of your Anon icon...

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
        Stop

        Re: Stupid little boy

        Sigh.... Talking about age, I remember a time where the comments section on El Reg wasn't like reading slashdot comments.....

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Helena Handcart
      Trollface

      Re: Stupid little boy

      He's a bit like Hitler really.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. 1Rafayal

        @Helena Handcart: Re: Stupid little boy

        As in he is a bit shouty and has invaded Poland recently?

        1. davidp231

          Re: @Helena Handcart: Stupid little boy

          With the new VW Scirrocco... wasn't it Germany to Warsaw in one tank?

          1. Stephen 11

            Re: @Helena Handcart: Stupid little boy

            I think it was Berlin to Warsaw in one tank.

    4. unwarranted triumphalism

      Re: Stupid little boy

      All he needs to do is run them over with his car. £35 fine, even if he kills them. 'It was a tragic accident', he could say in his defence.

      1. I think so I am?
        Coat

        Re: Stupid little boy

        A better defense for that would be, "I'm sorry officer but couldn't control the POWER!!"

        While doing a he-man pose

  8. Roby

    Has nobody seen Taken? His Tweet is a joke reference to Liam Neeson's character.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Has nobody seen Taken? His Tweet is a joke reference to Liam Neeson's character.

      Oh so when it's a 'celebrity' it's clearly a joke, but when it's some joe nobody making a daft tweet in an airport it's what size is your inside leg sir? We need it to measure up your new orange jumpsuit

      1. Phil W

        I think the point Roby was making is that it's not about him being a celebrity but more about the fact that since he's paraphrasing a well known film, it becomes far more obvious that it was not an actual threat.

        Just like if I said that my opinion of Apple was "to nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure", most people would realise I was paraphrasing a film quote and not actually intending to engage in a nuclear weapons attack in Cupertino.

        Where as if I said "Off to see some dodgy Russians later to buy a nuke to blow Apple HQ up" it would be far easier to think I might actually try and do that.

        Regardless, the bit where he says "Unlike some people, I WILL find who hacked my account." adds a serious context to threat and should land him in trouble.

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Big Brother

          Where as if I said "Off to see some dodgy Russians later to buy a nuke to blow Apple HQ up" it would be far easier to think I might actually try and do that.

          Please, tell us more :)

          1. Phil W
            Joke

            Ok ok, I admit it, it was actually some dodgy Iranians.

            NB. Again on the point of context making the difference this is clearly a reply to an early post and I've used the joke alert icon.

        2. Naughtyhorse
          Joke

          I was right with you until...

          and not actually intending to engage in a nuclear weapons attack in Cupertino.

          :D

      2. John Lilburne Silver badge

        Do try to keep up. Mr Airport was given the all clear, and plod has been told to lighten the fuck up.

        1. Gio Ciampa

          Took years though to get to that point - here's hoping they've learned from it

      3. rh587

        No, when it's a widely recognised quote from a hit movie it's a joke.

        When it's a tongue-in-cheek but random statement, then it's just the Police having a sense of humour failure in extremis and wasting public money in the process.

  9. pewpie
    Paris Hilton

    Whats he gonna do?

    Bore them to death?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whats he gonna do?

      Yeah or ridicule their choice of car based upon its BHP, 0-60 etc. Because you really need a high performance car on our dreadful congested roads.

      1. ravenviz Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: Whats he gonna do?

        Apparently they're for 'overtaking safely'.

  10. g e
    Meh

    So, will he get the same

    As that poor sod who tweeted his dissatisfaction about Robin Hood(?) airport ?

    Or, by some miracle will the lazy, fickle, farting & feckless establishment decide it wasn't a credible threat.

    1. P. Lee Silver badge
      Go

      Re: So, will he get the same

      Its fine. It sets precedent for not taking action on joke spoutings, as taking on a celebrity with an platform is a whole different proposition to taking on some no-name tweeter.

      Dumb law, made to look so.

  11. Grikath Silver badge
    Go

    It's Clarkson...

    That means that statements will be illogical, "masculine", improbable, or even downright impossible. But they *will* be flamboyant.

  12. jai
    Headmaster

    The headline has this text 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me' in quotes.

    I thought quotes were used when, you know, quoting what someone said. Not for when you're paraphrasing and using your own emphasis on the word KILL. And failing to include the quote from the movie which puts a more humorous angle on the rest of the quote.

    1. LPF

      GET A LIFE!

      1. Shades
        Stop

        "GET A LIFE!"

        This coming from the person whom appears to be competing with Eadon for the most downvoted user ever, and one whom once complained about the lack of discussion here!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "whom"

          who

          Anonymous Coward Pedantic Grammar Nazi.

          1. C 18

            Re: "whom"

            I gave you one up and one down.

            Whom -> who - correct

            'Anonymous Coward Pedantic Grammar Nazi' - your timidity is frowned upon... The Pedantic Grammar Nazi Party do not hide behind anonymity.

        2. LPF

          And if you look real close , using saying the hubble telescope, you might , and I just say might , see me giving a flying ..

          Christ I hate half term!

  13. Dennis Wilson
    Thumb Up

    OK by me

    Hackers are menace, a scourge that needs to be dealt with. If Jackson wants to kill them it's fine by me

    1. Dave 144

      Re: OK by me

      Yes, Jackson. Long day?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: OK by me

        Janet Jackson, in the Reliant Stadium, with a wardrobe malfunction.

        1. Frankee Llonnygog

          Re: OK by me

          "Janet Jackson, in the Reliant Stadium, with a wardrobe malfunction"

          Dis-Robin' in the Reliant?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: OK by me

          >Janet Jackson, in the Reliant Stadium, with a wardrobe malfunction.

          Did you have to? You thoughtless moron. You've set my recovery back by at least a year.

        3. Mike Richards Silver badge

          Re: OK by me

          'Janet Jackson, in the Reliant Stadium, with a wardrobe malfunction.'

          Colonel Mustard in the Library with the lead pipe.

          1. John G Imrie Silver badge

            Re: OK by me

            Jeremy Clarkson in the Volvo with the ...

            Hell it's a Volvo you don't need anything else.

        4. Naughtyhorse

          Re: OK by me

          funny enough, i remember thinking at the time of said wardrobe malfunction 'she'll have someones eye out with that, given time'

          tho not really leathal, it would sting a lot

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can pretty much guarantee you he hasn't been hacked. More rather he'd have authenticated some Twitter app/site to post on his behalf at some point. Easily done. You need to keep on top of what you've authenticated with your Twitter credentials.

  15. Velv Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    P O W E R ! ! ! ! !

    <---<<< and why haven't they had Paris on Top Gear yet

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Because it would be like interviewing a balloon. It wouldn't exactly make the best television.

    2. Si 1
      Flame

      They probably don't want to have to replace the seats in the C'eed after she's sat on them.

    3. Philip Lewis
      Megaphone

      Good Question Velv!

      Those size 42's planted on the loud pedal combined with whatever is (or isn't) in her head might make for compelling viewing!

  16. Kaltern Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Burn him!

    It's that time of the year when Top Gear is on, and the Anti-Clarkson Daily Mail reader brigade comes out to partake in their annual drive to make the World a Better Place®

    1. Haku

      Re: Burn him!

      Frankly, I would have him shot. I would have him taken outside and executed in front of his family.

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        I think I recognise the quote.

        It was union workers on strike that time, I think. I forget who, teachers? nurses?

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Burn him!

        "Frankly, I would have him shot. I would have him taken outside and executed in front of his family."

        You could fill a book with some of Clarkson's more provocative prose.

        In fact I think he has filled several.....

        Modestly priced and available through Amazon I believe.

      3. C 18
        Mushroom

        Re: Burn him!

        Before, after, or during the burning?

        All three sounds good to me, just make sure the bullet wounds aren't fatal.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Burn him!

          I do wonder what he could have done to deserve people wanting to shoot and burn him. Some people like him, some dislike him, some accept his sense of humour.

          As extreme as some people see him it is not as extreme as some of the suggestions for dealing with him.

          Sounds like a funny post on twitter. Good on him

      4. Naughtyhorse
        Joke

        Re: Burn him!

        And i hope ALL his kids go blind in ALL their eyes...

        only joking....

    2. Silverburn

      Re: Burn him!

      Anti-Clarkson Daily Mail reader brigade comes out to partake in their annual drive to make the World a Better Place®

      Maybe they could start with the twitter hackers first...they are *genuinely* annoying. At least with Clarkson you can *choose* to watch/read his dribblings or not (which are sometimes quite funny and/or accurate).

    3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. ChrisBoy

        @Mike G Re: Burn him!

        Yes, but what do you really think?

  17. Longrod_von_Hugendong
    Thumb Up

    Quite frankly...

    I hope he does.

  18. Dabooka Silver badge
    Stop

    Surely even the most ardent hater of Mr Clarkson....

    can see he's clearly taking the piss here. The Taken quote for starters.

    I would not put him in the same Luddite boat as Mr Fry in relation to his understanding of tech

    1. Naughtyhorse

      Re: Surely even the most ardent hater of Mr Clarkson....

      Orly?

      I reckon Klaxons luddism makes Fry look like Isambard Kingdom bleedin Brunel

  19. Mostly_Harmless Silver badge

    spam...

    ...it's the most annoying thing....IN THE WORLD!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: spam...

      But is quite yummy in sandwiches :)

      1. Don Jefe
        Happy

        Re: spam... @Jim Booth

        It is also great on English Muffins baked with cheese! Goes well with scrambled eggs too.

    2. I think so I am?
      Go

      Re: spam...

      Some say he was once a black hat but died and reincarnated as a white hat.

      Others have comments on his mask wearing and anonymity

      but all we know is, hes called the Stig.

  20. adrianww
    Stop

    Oh Good Grief...

    I can't believe that I'm doing this...

    It's Jeremy Clarkson boys and girls! Do you really think for a fraction of a nanosecond that he was being at all serious? As someone has already pointed out, he was paraphrasing Liam Neeson's character in Taken. Even though I haven't seen the film or know much about it, I still got the reference and was pretty sure that he was most likely just making bit of a joke of the whole thing.

    And as for the bank thing, well he actually had a bit of a point there if you ask me. Simply publishing his bank details should NOT have allowed anyone to set up a direct debit or perform any other kind of transaction, other than paying in. Either the charity itself or Clarkson's bank seriously dropped the ball on that one I think. Certainly if any of the banks that I use had allowed a direct debit to be set up (or any other withdrawal to take place) without my signature or some other formal confirmation of my identity and wishes, I would have been down the branch straight away tearing the manager a new one.

    So, yeah, it's Clarkson. He's a bit of a gobsh!te, plays up his anti-environment, right-of-centre persona to the hilt and is a popular target for the PC, right-on and left-of-centre brigades - many of whom seem to get themselves rather hot under the collar by taking him far too seriously and literally.

    1. Anonymous Coward 15
      Trollface

      In other words

      YHBT.

    2. David 79

      Re: Oh Good Grief...

      You might want to read up about paperless direct debits. They can only be in favour of payees who have jumped through the relevant hoops (such as large charities, for example), so Joe Public can't directly empty your bank account into theirs, but there isn't much to prevent a third party setting up a direct debit from your account to, say, a charity (which is what happened in this case) without a signature or other ID. You still of course have the benefit of the direct debit guarantee should you spot the problem and wish to reverse the transaction.

      1. adrianww

        Paperless DD

        Actually, I don't need to read up about paperless DD, being familiar with the process and having set up a fair few myself over the last couple of years. However, in every case where I have set up such a DD, the organization originating the request has gone to reasonable lengths to confirm that I was, indeed, who I claimed to be and was permitted to do what I was doing. Also, in each case, my bank contacted me to confirm the details once the DD instruction was set up but before any funds were allowed to be taken. So I'm afraid that in my book someone on the charity side or the bank side still dropped the ball on the Clarkson charity DD thing and should have had an ear-bending for it. Either that or he needs to get himself a better bank.

    3. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Devil

      Re: Oh Good Grief...

      "So, yeah, it's Clarkson. He's a bit of a gobsh!te, plays up his anti-environment, right-of-centre persona to the hilt and is a popular target for the PC, right-on and left-of-centre brigades - many of whom seem to get themselves rather hot under the collar by taking him far too seriously and literally."

      That doesn't bother me.

      His standing invite to the Rupert Murdoch party makes me.

      It suggests the amiable old misogynist buffoon is merely the surface veneer for someone much nastier.

    4. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Oh Good Grief...

      So anti environment, he has land set aside for wildlife

  21. tkioz
    Facepalm

    Internet tough guy syndrome anyone?

  22. Electric sheep
    Thumb Up

    He generally says

    What most of us think and would love to say. Even if it isn't politically correct, but who cares about that anyway.

  23. koolholio
    Joke

    What if they found him first?

    :-O Would be absolutely tragic, given his hypocritical remarks regarding civil servants?

    Dontch'ya think?

  24. AndrueC Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    'Hacked'?

    More likely he used a weak password. These days 'I've been hacked' is used in the same way that 'I had the flu' is used after a day off work.

    1. davidp231
      FAIL

      "More likely he used a weak password."

      Much like Burger King's whopper of a mistake (pardon the pun) of using the classic of 'whopper123' on the Twitter feed...

      --Epic fail - for BK's password.

  25. Jim Carter

    I have to wonder...

    If anyone shouting for Clarkson to be burned at the stake actually read the entire message?

    "I will visit them".

    Sounds like he'll take James May with them and have him bore them to death by torqueing. Or something.

  26. Richard Jukes

    Im sure Mr Clarkson will step forward and answer a charge of threatening behaviour etc if the victims are willing to step forward and identify themselves.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Im sure Mr Clarkson will step forward and answer a charge of threatening behaviour etc if the victims are willing to step forward and identify themselves."

      in person. Face to face to the person whose account they abused. Not "hacked" if they just guessed his password. Only very lazy journos and celebs could possibly say guessing "secret" is hacking, same as only amazingly silly don't change their voicemail PINs from defaults and then say they've been hacked when someone guesses 1234 might be the lucky number. People like that should join the idiots collective over at hacked off.

  27. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Angel

    Time for copypasta

    "What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*ck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that sh*t to me over the Internet? Think again, f*cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sh"t. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will sh*t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

    1. Mako

      Re: Time for copypasta

      "gorilla warfare"

      I was trained in that to a silverback level by Diane Fossey. I still have the banana scars.

      Or did you (or whoever you quoted that from) mean guerrilla?

    2. Magister

      Re: Time for copypasta

      I haven't seen a flame that good in quite a while!

    3. Tequila Joe
      Thumb Up

      Re: Time for copypasta

      Nice one!

      Does anyone else think it sounds a bit like a cross between the heroic Gordon Brown and spaced-out Charlie Sheen?

  28. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    Jeremy Clarkson's twitter account has been subverted.

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    That is all.

  29. Jon Green
    Mushroom

    Yebbut...

    Clarkson's a bombast. Gillan's a redhead. I know who I'd back...well, in either sense really...

    1. davidp231

      Re: Yebbut...

      Gillan, for the good points on her front side... ;-)

  30. taxman

    Village

    missing idiot

  31. Mike Richards Silver badge

    If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

    'Former Dr Who actress Karen Gillan, who played Amy Pond in the series, was stung by a similar diet-pushing spambot. She did not respond to the intrusion with threats on the lives of the perpetrators.'

    I'd rather it was the lovely Ms. Gillan and not Jeremy Clarkson. It'd have more of an Emma Peel vibe to it that way.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Re: If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

      "'Former Dr Who actress Karen Gillan, who played Amy Pond in the series, was stung by a similar diet-pushing spambot. She did not respond to the intrusion with threats on the lives of the perpetrators."

      Beware angry ginger women.

      They are not to be trifled with.

      1. hamcheeseandonion
        Paris Hilton

        Re: If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

        Oooooh! Now you've done it...

        ginger women and trifle...

        ginger women WITH trifle....

        ginger women COVERED with trifle....

        all that jelly, and cream, and goodness knows where the sponge fingers go......

        <Phoooot..thud>....

        <right lads, that's got the pervert sedated!...well done with the dart gun Jenkins, now there's a good lad and point it the other..>

        <Phoooot..thud>

        .....Paris because...well..cream, jelly..who else?

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Meh

          Re: If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

          "Oooooh! Now you've done it...

          ginger women and trifle...

          ginger women WITH trifle....

          ginger women COVERED with trifle....

          all that jelly, and cream, and goodness knows where the sponge fingers go......"

          Oh behave

  32. bag o' spanners
    Meh

    in the pedantic groove

    Unoriginal Hollywooden screenwriters passing off a tired old meme as the core premise of a chronically uninspiring and unconvincing Neeson movie. Who'da thunkit?

    Jeremy Clarkson saying something unoriginal and uninspiring in a lardy armchair_tough_guy fashion, totally bereft of irony. Colour me surprised.

  33. Dom 3

    OH FFS!!!!!!

    Nobody "subtracted £500 from his account and donated it to a charity". That would imply that they had access to his account and had his money in their posession. No. Somebody created a DD with his details. This is about the only thing you can do with someone's bank account details. The money is safe. The only people who can DD are big trusted institutions and the money is GUARANTEED to be returned if it is disputed.

    He was not "dead wrong".

    I have been "giving my bank account details" to people ever since I was first issued a chequebook back in the 80s.

    He was dead right. The so-called experts who make out that giving account details away is inherently dangerous are pillocks who do not understand how 419 scams work.

    1. Badvok

      Re: OH FFS!!!!!!

      "I have been "giving my bank account details" to people ever since I was first issued a chequebook back in the 80s."

      It is truly amazing how many people don't realise this simple fact.

  34. Rob Moir

    Some say he really is that daft

    Others, that his brand of rhetoric is part of a carefully crafted image to keep people talking about him.

    All I know is, he's in the headlines again.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clarkson is the biggest plonker...

    INNN THUR WURRRLLD!

  36. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    Let's face it why go after someone with no followers

    When you can go after someone with 1.3million instead.

    As others have pointed out beware who you let have update privileges on your account.

    I shall be tweeting on this later. *

    *When I get a twitter account.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe it was Spartacus that did him in

    Im Spartacus!

  38. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    I dunno why people get so worked up about Clarkson et al. Top Gear's an entertainment show. He's paid to be over-the-top and people obviously like that because they keep watching. I sometimes can't stand that stupid singsong delivery if they're all doing it, but comments like "This is Sodom and Gomorrah with a steering wheel" make me relent pretty quickly.

    I enjoy Top Gear, even though the fires are obviously staged, but I liked the "project" shows better than endless Aston Martin/Lamborghini/Porshe dick-swinging that seems to be the fashion right now.

    Of course, we only get the same four dozen episodes on BBC America, so we're nearly word-perfect on the soundtracks, but anything is better than the idiot who occupies the other Non-Dr Who viewing hours 24X7 with his cooking and swearing. If anyone has outstayed his welcome it is Gordon Ramsay.

    1. billse10

      Re: Bah!

      speaking of people who may or may not have overstayed their welcome, can you please - please? - keep Piers Morgan over there?

    2. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: Bah!

      But look on the bright side: Now you get Top Gear USA!

      *tries to keep a straight face*

      No. It's really good. Honest. Just like the real thing.

      Kool-aid?

  39. Tom 13
    Joke

    What Clarkson didn't tweet was his methodology to kill the perps.

    He plans to stand outside their door talking to them like he does on Top Gear. If they don't die from that they will at least be severely maimed as a result of eating off their own arm to protect themselves.

  40. davidp231
    Headmaster

    'Anonymous Coward Pedantic Grammar Nazi' - your timidity is frowned upon... The Pedantic Grammar Nazi Party do not hide behind anonymity.

    I think you forgot something.. (see avatar).

  41. Herby Silver badge

    "How hard can it be?"

    To fine the spammer and kill them? Oh, this is the internet age where EVERYTHING is anonymous and the bad guys hide in the cracks like cockroaches. Maybe a small tactical nuclear strike is in order, as it would at least make me happy. Until then, one must hit the 'delete' button quite often.

    Oh, it was probably the Chinese Army doing the nasty deed anyway!

  42. Bob Vistakin
    WTF?

    I thought he just took out a superinjunction against those he disliked?

    Then again, how would anyone know?

  43. KBeee

    Read the non-censored non-UK press?

  44. jon 72
    Coat

    I'm going for the popcorn..

    let me know if somebody cracks his email account.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kill them?

    So he's going to kill them is he? This surely must qualify as an arrestable offence on a par with the jokey threat to blow up an airport that police seemed to make such a fuss of. I'd love to see Clarkson banged up, even if it was only for short time. Can't stand the arrogant bigot.

  46. Shannon Jacobs
    Holmes

    Putting criminals out of business

    If the spammers weren't making money they would be much less active.

    Say, why don't ANY of the major email providers integrate EFFECTIVE and POWERFUL anti-spam tools that will shut down ALL of the spammers' inferastructure, pursue ALL of the spammers' accomplices, and help and protect ALL of the spammers' victims, even including this Clarkson fool. Easiest to imagine for email, but the basic idea is just to cut the spammers away from the very small supply of suckers who feed them.

    Too busy to say more just now, though the basic ideas are explained in more detail elsewhere. Google, don't you care about reducing the amount of EVIL on your Internet? Microsoft, don't you want to beat the google to the punch by doing some good downstream? Yahoo, aren't you desperate enough to avoid bankruptcy?

  47. veti Silver badge
    Coat

    Win-win

    So some hackers-and-spammers get killed, and Clarkson goes away for a nice long stretch in jail...

    What's the downside here? Sounds like a perfect outcome to me. I'd offer to hold his coat for him, but that might make me an accessory.

  48. stucs201

    Striking Back

    I'm reminded of this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXKAtpLm4I

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ha I knew it

    We watch top gear, but only for the hilarious challenges, the other crap is boring and quickly gets turned off

    Footballers cars? Meh, I'm not a footballer.

    Posted anonymously due to the vast majority of petrol heads here that frequent this forum, sadly.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I say give Clarkson some nukes

    And let the missiles fly.

    Problem solved!

    Plus we get to see if roaches really CAN survive a nuclear explosion.

    AC/DC and the best cure for global warming is nuclear winter!!!

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Hmm,

    Is that not threatening someones life?

    Sort of like threatening to blow up an airport?

    Threat to kill by a celebrity, seen as a joke.

    Threat to blow up an airport, said as a joke, resulted in the biggest farce of the justice system in the last 5 years.

    Hmm............

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