back to article Rogue Squadron: Unit of X-wings Kickstarts in response to Death Star

A duo of Empire-hating rebels have realised the Kickstarter Death Star is a threat to the Rebel Alliance and they're looking for all like-minded galactic citizens to chip in for a fleet of $11m X-Wings. Mechanical engineer Simon and his startup-founding buddy Ed reckon gnut.co.uk, the unnamed folks behind the crowdsourcing …

COMMENTS

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  1. Danny 14 Silver badge
    Pint

    since the rebels will probably pilfer the rest from the empire this is probably just for essentials.

    1. Stumpy

      but just how many Bothans will die to get them?

      1. Mike Richards Silver badge
  2. Ali on the Reg

    Some people, intelligent ones too - have just way too much time on their hands.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      >Some people, intelligent ones too - have just way too much time on their hands.

      It would be nice to think that millennia of technological progress had left us with more leisure time for activities of our own choosing; socialising, art, music and general farting around. Alas, it doesn't work out that way.

  3. GCom

    on a serious point...

    Both these projects do go to show there is real desire amongst the world's citizens for pushing the boundaries of technology to boldly go where no one has before. There go politicians if you want to engage a new group of voters and stoke the western economies out of the duldrums, have some imagination. Build to the limits of our understanding not what's available today, a certain project to put man on the moon did just that 50 yrs ago!

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: on a serious point...

      Or, this just proves that people will throw money at anything, if it says Star Wars on it. George Lucas has known this for a long time.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: on a serious point...

        is surprising the Disney lawyers haven't tried DCMA'ing this into oblivion yet

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Lamont Cranston

        How dare you insinuate that Star Wars fans will buy anything related to Star Wars, I demand you retract this statement immediately before I send in my sith.

        .

        sent from my Millennium Falcon PC

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    mute point

    With Palpatine retiring now there will be no Deathstar. He obviously realised that with the X-Wing kickstarter his technological terror was so much expensive debris.

    1. Thorne

      Re: mute point

      No Palpatine is only retiring from being Pope so he can concentrate on the Deathstar project

  5. g e
    WTF?

    Supraluminal?

    Do Xwings have hyperdrive????

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge

      Re: Supraluminal?

      Yes, X-Wings do have hyperdrive, although they do require an astromech droid (R2 version or higher) to perform the navigation calculations.

      1. g e
        Alien

        Re: Supraluminal?

        Cool.

        Which begs the question do you ever see them entering/exiting hyperdrive as I don't remember it in the films, hence the question :o)

        Did we see it or is it one of those 'on paper in the SW universe' capabilities?

        1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge

          Re: Supraluminal?

          Yeah, we do. Luke used it in empire to get from Hoth to Degoba, then to Bespin. In Jedi, you see the entire fleet including A-Wings, B-Wings, X-Wings and Y-wings jump from Sullust to Endor to engage the second Death Star.

          There is probably more, but that's just off the top of my head.

          1. g e
            Happy

            Re: Supraluminal?

            Suspected the fleet jump thing though couldn't remember small fighters in the group. An excellent excuse to re-watch :oD lol

      2. ducatis'r us
        Coat

        Re: Supraluminal?

        but no toilets or snack facilities...

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Supraluminal?

          I would imagine that it involves colostomy bags, tubes of purée and coffee-dispensing straws.

          Maybe the reason we don't see people visit the toilet in Star Trek is that the transporter can be used to displace bodily waste directly from the bowel and bladder.

          1. Craig Chambers
            WTF?

            Re: Supraluminal?

            Unless donning a spacesuit involves major abdominal surgery, I doubt that it involves colostomy bags.

          2. Thorne

            Re: Supraluminal?

            "Maybe the reason we don't see people visit the toilet in Star Trek is that the transporter can be used to displace bodily waste directly from the bowel and bladder."

            And those jumpsuits are a bitch to get on and off.....

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Bodily waste teleporters

            What an excellent idea for those blokes of a certain age with prostate issues who feel the need to pee almost constantly. Also for ladies of a certain age who let a little out when laughing/'coughing/sneezing/being suprised.

            Another Kickstarter project required for this one me thinks.

  6. AdamSweetman
    Black Helicopters

    Chicken wire over the exhaust port

    The death star kickstarter already has a solution to the unguarded exhaust port issue, chicken wire. Its specifically mentioned in the phase 1 funding milestone. Think again rebel scum!!!!! Bwuahahahahah

    1. Oninoshiko
      Coat

      Re: Chicken wire over the exhaust port

      Ahh, but us rebels have found the weakness...

      we call it the double-tap.

      Mines the rebel alliance flight jacket.

    2. Martin Budden
      Coat

      Re: Chicken wire over the exhaust port

      The rebel's Proton Torpedo Mk II will have pliers mounted on the nose-cone.

  7. lawndart

    says

    When do we launch the Kickstarter for a GSV or GCU?

    Would settle for a ROU but not a demiliterised one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: says

      I'd prefer a GOU or even a System class GSV (200 km across the field boundaries).

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: says

        The Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints, an Abominator-class General Offensive Unit from Surface Detail takes some beating..

        1. Katie Saucey

          Re: says

          I'd recommend something like the GSV Eschatologist, equiped with gridfire and colapsed anti-mat weapons it easily dispensed with the Vavatch Orbital (planned destruction yes, but an orbital would be 1000's of time more massive than a pathetic DeathStar).

  8. Growly Snuffle Bunny
    Thumb Up

    uk.gov

    The UK should chip in £10million, but keep their hands off the project. Get a working X-Wing, and we've a use for those silly carriers we've bought!

    If it doesn't work, then cancel the cucumber sandwiches in the Lords for a week to make up the shortfall.

    1. Admiral Grace Hopper

      Re: uk.gov

      Tsk. We should abandon all domestic X-Wing development and just buy whatever X-Wings the Yanks throw together, even if we're disbarred from accessing or modifying any software components.

      1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
        Terminator

        Re: uk.gov @Ad Hopper

        "even if we're disbarred from accessing or modifying any software components."

        It's okay, X-wings support a BYOD software component. (But whatever device you use must be well ruggedised.)

        <-- My chocie of droid.

        1. Admiral Grace Hopper
        2. Helldesk Dogsbody
          Facepalm

          Re: uk.gov @Brewster's Angle Grinder

          "It's okay, X-wings support a BYOD software component. (But whatever device you use must be well ruggedised.)"

          Unfortunately you're somewhat mistaken there - that's the upgraded version for use only by the USA as the maguffin that enables the BYOD functionality is "Secret" :(

          1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: uk.gov @Helpdesk Dogsbody

            Unfortunately you're somewhat mistaken there - that's the upgraded version for use only by the USA as the maguffin that enables the BYOD functionality is "Secret" :(

            No you're wrong: the BYOD functionality is patent protected and available to licensed manufacturers. They sell the X-wings at a loss and make the money back on the R2 units.

  9. Tom Servo
    Alien

    I'm waiting for Lewis Price to weigh in...

    and write a 3 page rant on the Reg about how much cheaper it will be to buy pre built US starfighters and our spaceports aren't compatible and it's already way over budget with incompetent civil servants ad nauseum

    Still, any proper geeks here should be picking up X Wing miniatures game by fantasy flight games. For he kids of course.....

    1. The last doughnut
      Facepalm

      Re: I'm waiting for Lewis Price to weigh in...

      I think you're right. It does have all the hallmarks of a BAe Systems project:

      Seems cheap to begin with but somehow the costs escalate beyond all belief. Original schedule expanded to the point where working spacecraft only enter service once having become obsolete. Exhaust-port shooting abilities severely hampered by poor design specification - was originally designed for blasting swamp rats. Promised hyperdrive capability never actually delivered. Inability to be adapted for other missions despite initial promises, except at extreme cost and schedule overruns.

  10. Lenford
    Gimp

    Spaceship

    One word - Skylon.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    Hmmm fan base bullshit aside

    I would not be surprised if this "research" actually led to a new type of viable space drive that worked, from the ground to solar system type distances....

    We still need the radiation shielding and things like that.

    I have funny feeling that this might actually lead somewhere very remarkable.

    1. Swarthy Silver badge

      Re: Hmmm fan base bullshit aside

      I have a bad feeling about this....

  12. TRT Silver badge

    Down the road from Silicon Roundabout...

    there's a café that puts out its waste sacks on the pavement every evening. The bags are labelled "Imperial Waste Disposal". Every time I see them I think "They're destined for the trash compactor."

  13. taxman
    Headmaster

    Oops

    looks like they've forgot to raise funds for the Proton Torpedoes!

    1. Simon Westerby 1
      FAIL

      Re: Oops

      And for the Blockade Runner used to intercept the Death Star plans....

      1. Martin Budden
        FAIL

        Re: Oops

        No need for the Blockade Runner because the new Death Star plans are open source.

  14. Michael Habel Silver badge
    Boffin

    I always wondered how the X-Wing Snub Fighter could (would), have Hyperspace FTL Engine on board, while the opposition (TIEs), did not. given that they are both just your average Snub Fighter craft.

    Besides how the Hell is the X-Wing meant to actually fly? Sure it was freaking cool in the Childhood of my yoof.

    Now that I've become a rationally thinking adult, I come to realize that there is no way in Hell that the X<Wing could generate enough "Lift" for atmospheric flight,

    Granted it wouldn't be an issue in the trench warfare scenario with the aforementioned Deathstar though.

    1. PatientOne

      As I recall, the Imperial concept was for carrier supported fighters where as the rebels lacked the carriers so opted for fighters that could operate independently. Hence the X-wing, Y-wing, A-Wing and B-Wing having hyperdrives where as the much smaller TIE/ln and Interceptor didn't.

      As for how the X-wing was able to fly in atmosphere... so could the TIE series, and what about the Falcon? Simply put they'd use anti-gravity or other such fictional lift technology rather than wings as we do now. After all, those wings on the X-wing are there to support the weapons systems, not for flight controls. Although I recall the predecessor to the X-wing, the Z95 head hunter, was considered a superior atmospheric fighter as well as being an aged, but still capable, star fighter.

      But I could be wrong - it's been a while since I was that much of a Starwars geek.

    2. Andy Fletcher

      It's almost as if

      You lot don't have the Haynes for the YT-1300. Get one!

  15. Kubla Cant Silver badge
    FAIL

    Kickstarter

    If it has a kickstarter, it's not an X-Wing Fighter, it's a motor bike.

    1. 4ecks
      Go

      Re: Kickstarter/motorbike

      As long as it's a 74-Z speeder bike :-)

  16. IronSteve

    The interest in these sorts of things completely justifies Disney's decision to make more films....

  17. AshRid

    Yes but no

    "whereas Luke Skywalker's preferred ride is capable of interstellar voyages travelling faster than light."

    Only if he has an Astromech Droid on board!

    I sense another kickstarter in the force........

  18. NukEvil
    Mushroom

    In the future...

    ...when aliens finally make contact with the floating debris field that Earth will become, they will glean information off one of our probes (or off one of our Mars rovers, whichever) that will tell them exactly how the Last Battle for Earth Supremacy went down.

    And then they'll ask themselves "Why did those guys want this planet? They had their OWN planet. Why did they destroy the planet they wanted?"

    Then, they'll find out that the Death Star's main laser accidentally fired because some IT person spilled coffee down the intake port of the firing computer and the lucky rebel X-wing fighter put its torpedo down the exhaust port a second later than what happened in SW, so Earth got destroyed, and the death star blew up, leaving only the lonely X-wing fighter alive (and slowly starving to death).

    Then, they'll somehow figure out that the whole thing was started by something called "Kickstarter", which they'll then classify as a "Malevolent Intelligence", causing them to go on a seek-and-destroy mission of epic proportions, causing the end of all life in the galaxy and the death of the galaxy itself.

  19. Pete Wilson
    Holmes

    Propulsion system

    Time to revive the Dean Drive...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dean_drive

  20. Idocrase

    Stuff like X-Wings, Vipers, and really any spacecraft with a ground-to-space capability and tubes attached to it for 'thrust' are closer than ever to becoming real things.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skylon_%28spacecraft%29 <- These people need as much money as possible thrown at them, and a million nerds calling out in unison.

  21. Louis Schreurs BEng
    Thumb Up

    Fool

    Yeah, it expires at April 1st..................

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