back to article Huge rock-hard marble erection shocks Japanese kiddies

The good burghers of the Japanese town of Okuizumo have suggested a giant replica of Michelangelo's David might do well to slip on some underpants, lest kiddies are left traumatised by an eyeful of the "big and unexpected" statue. Okuizumo, in Shimane Prefecture, has enjoyed the 5-metre tall nude since last summer. It was …

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  1. EddieD

    Calm down, it's just a willy...

    I think that it's not the first time Big Dave has caused a controversy - often required to don a loincloth of fig leaves - or copper.

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      Copper???

      Soon to take a sauna. We stoke ours to 90 degrees centigrade - comfortable, until Girlie throws water on the Kiuas (heater) which is full of stones for heat retension. It has pine benches, no problen. Wood doesn't retain heat. We have to remove metal jewellery before we enter, else it'll burn us.

      Heard about a Russian oligarch who had a sauna fitted to his boat. He demanded copper benches.

      Er, NO!!! Must've hurt!

      1. Martin Budden
        FAIL

        Re: Copper???

        Wood does retain heat, it just doesn't conduct very well.

    2. Bill Neal
      WTF?

      Re: Calm down, it's just a willy...

      Don't they have penis festivals/parades in Japan?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Calm down, it's just a willy...

        Indeed they do, where you can buy all manner of penile goods, including lolipops for the kids...

      2. beep54
        Angel

        Re: Calm down, it's just a willy...

        All I can say is that Japan is weird. Hey, I love 'em, but have you seen gay Japenese porn? 'Extreme' just doesn't do parts of it justice. Yet. there's that odd pixilation. Perhaps they are Southern Baptists at heart. I dunno....

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Angel

      Re: Calm down, it's just a willy...

      Just a willy?

      That man has a cock as hard as a rock....

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: a cock as hard as a rock

        Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.

        If it does come true, let me know how it works out for you...

  2. Crisp Silver badge

    It's just a penis.

    Half the population has one.

    The human body is a beautiful thing. Why not celebrate the masculine form?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: It's just a penis.

      Most human bodies are not that beautiful.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: It's just a penis.

        Michelangelo's David is generally considered to be a good looking chap.

        The legend is that he was originally carved with a larger dong, but the wealthy traders who commissioned him grew jealous of the appreciative comments their wives made about him, so they insisted Michelangelo chipped David's manhood down to its current size. Alas, the story is probably not true.

        Still, why do the Japanese pixel out genitals, but are fine with demon tentacle rape porn?

        http://www.theonion.com/articles/japan-pledges-to-halt-production-of-weirdo-porn-th,2657/

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's just a penis.

          "[...] so they insisted Michelangelo chipped David's manhood down to its current size."

          It is however true of the figure in Jacob Epstein's "Day" high above the pavement at 55 Broadway - St James Park station - which was built as the headquarters of the Underground.

          The possibly apochryphal part of the story is that people on the pavement below objected to the way rain water was channelled off the tip of it.

          http://www.flickr.com/photos/browniebear/7497205432/

          A similar story exists for Eric Gill's "Ariel" at BBC Broadcasting House - although there are conflicting accounts.

          http://www.flickr.com/photos/browniebear/4506291514/

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's just a penis. @ Dave 126

          "why do the Japanese pixel out genitals, but are fine with demon tentacle rape porn?

          tentacle porn was thought up because of genitals censorship; the law wanted the genitals to be censored but the adult artists wanted to make adult manga; so they invented the tentacles style!

          There is a nice article on Kotaku.com regarding the matter: http://kotaku.com/5938424/its-possible-to-talk-intelligently-about-tentacles-right

          1. Mycho Silver badge

            Re: Tentacles. @ Dave 126

            Indeed, it is important to remember that censorship created tentacle porn. Next time someone is espousing the benefits of censorship remember what they'll likely achieve.

        3. Steve the Cynic Silver badge

          Re: It's just a penis.

          "Still, why do the Japanese pixel out genitals,"

          The best example of this is in the anime Eden of the East, where at one point the main characters are running around a half-destroyed shopping mall which is also populated (for reasons that aren't entirely clear, even after you've watched the whole thing) by twenty thousand naked NEETs. And the obfuscation was a sort of scratchy blob over the relevant parts, adding a surreal note to the whole experience.

          1. Oninoshiko
            WTF?

            Re: It's just a penis.

            I thought it was pretty obvious why the NEETs where there, that's where the container ship dropped them off.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          This is why you have to keep things in proportion :-)

          "The legend is that he was originally carved with a larger dong"

          Technically, David's much-derided willy isn't that small- probably at least average length for an adult male. It just looks that way because it's easy to forget the statue it's plastered on is 5.2 metres high :-)

      2. apjanes

        Re: It's just a penis.

        "Most human bodies are not that beautiful."

        Most human bodies ARE beautiful, we are just conditioned to think they are not.

        1. JDX Gold badge

          Re: It's just a penis.

          Unless you're saying beauty is objective than you're talking rubbish!

        2. JEDIDIAH
          Linux

          Re: It's just a penis.

          No. The average human body that's at best pudgy and out of shape is not beautiful. There is good reason that you don't typically see your average schmuck as the subject of high art. It doesn't matter what the age or civilization. Most people simply don't measure up.

          The Germans had a great PSA regarding exercise that featured an "average" David demonstrating what lack of exercise would do to you. Nobody wants to see the that version of David.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Stop

            Re: It's just a penis.

            > No. The average human body that's at best pudgy and out of shape is not beautiful.

            That's a very subjective viewpoint actually, and not shared by others. :D

            It's diffficult for a man to "appreciate" other men's bodies so how would you define beauty in the context of the human form other than what you personally find appealing?

            In Africa, men find attractive the "fuller" woman and prefer it visually as apposed to the more western view that thinner is better (to a point).

            <cliche alert>Beauty is in the eye of the beholder</cliche alert>

            It says it all really.

        3. Andus McCoatover
          Windows

          Re: It's just a penis.

          I love my Finnish girlfriend.

          In winter.

          When it's dark.

          And, the lights are off.

          Aah, she's beautiful!

        4. Nuke
          Headmaster

          @ apjanes - Re: It's just a penis.

          Wrote :- "Most human bodies ARE beautiful, we are just conditioned to think they are not."

          Bollocks (if that is the right term to use here). So you are saying that if only in the school playground we had passed round illustrated books of naked warty old geezers, we would have grown up thinking that wart old geezers were beautiful?

          I don't recall my parents or teachers "conditioning" me to think that nubile young women were beautiful. In fact it seems to me now that they did everything possible to discourage it, like confiscating pin-up mags depicting them.

          Schoolteacher :- "I shall keep these disgusting publications."

      3. Dana W
        Trollface

        Re: It's just a penis.

        Certainly not the ones in IT.

        (Hey, I worked in the IT angle!)

    2. Captain Hogwash
      Joke

      Re: It's just a penis.

      Quentin, is that you?

    3. Vic

      Re: It's just a penis.

      > Why not celebrate the masculine form?

      Kryten: But it's hideous! That's the best design they could come up with!? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said "Ah. There. That's it. That's the shape we're looking for; the 'last-chicken-in-the-shop' look." Shakepseare had one. Einstein. Perry Como sang 'Memories Are Made of This' with one of those stashed in his slacks!?'

      Lister: Well yeah.

      Kryten: No wonder humans don't have a zoom mode!

      Vic.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's just a penis.

        "That's the best design they could come up with!?"

        There's a nice spoof on project management about God creating the world. He was running short of time. So he just stuck the genitalia on - and would get round to fixing it properly later.

      2. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: It's just a penis.

        >Kryten: But it's hideous! That's the best design they could come up with!?

        Q: What is the knob on the end for?

        German scientist: It is to give more pleasure to the man!

        French Scientist: It is to give more pleasure to the woman!

        British Scientist: It is to stop your hand falling off the end!

        Modern fluid modelling suggests the knob on the end has evolved to act as a plunger, removing what might have been left there by a previous gentleman- all the better to promote your genetic material. More civilised than easting his offspring after the fact, as lions have been known to.

        Anyway, here's a Monty Python song, NSFW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Half the population has one

      Mathematically speaking I have more than twice the average number of penises found on humans (which is less than 50% as there are more women)

      I even have more than the average for men (which is very slightly under 100% - due to disease, accidents, carving knife-related events and very sharp vacuum cleaner attachments, or misplaced curiosity)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Half the population has one

        "which is less than 50% as there are more women"

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

        http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_ratio_of_women_to_men_in_the_world

        1. asdf Silver badge

          Re: Half the population has one

          Under natural conditions there are more women born but now that half the worlds population in China and India have ultrasound, abortions, and in China a one child policy along with both somewhat turning a blind eye toward little girls mysteriously dying things are a bit skewed sadly. Not to mention it occurs in other countries besides these two as well.

          1. asdf Silver badge

            Re: Half the population has one

            Totally off topic but having almost half the world's population in two neighboring countries where there are not going to be enough women may be a real geopolitical problem here in the not too distant future. Young men not being able to get laid tends to breed violence.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Half the population has one

          " The sex ratio for the entire world population is 101 males to 100 females."

          I knew it! I am the 1 left over!!

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Alan Esworthy
        Boffin

        Re: Half the population has one

        Mathematically speaking, the average human being has one ovary, one testicle, and one wit.

    5. Crisp Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: It's just a penis.

      If anybody needs me, I'll be in my bunk appreciating controversial works of art!

    6. Nuke
      Thumb Down

      @Crisp - Re: It's just a penis.

      Wrote :- "The human body is a beautiful thing. Why not celebrate the masculine form?"

      As someone else said, most are not so beautiful. And for many of those people, the sight of a beautiful one paraded for the sake of its being beautiful just pisses them off. Like having a statue of a fat cat guy in a top hat lighting a cigar with a £50 note and placing it in the poor part of town.

      1. JEDIDIAH
        Linux

        Re: @Crisp - It's just a penis.

        ...yet society at large welcomes this kind of shenanigan so long as it's a female that's being held up as a spectacle.

        1. Nuke
          Facepalm

          @ JEDIDIAH - Re: @Crisp - It's just a penis.

          Wrote :- "society at large welcomes this kind of shenanigan so long as it's a female that's being held up as a spectacle."

          You are getting out of touch. These days naked females are rare on mainstream media. It just isn't PC. Instead it seems fashionable to show naked men, especially in gay scenarios. Watching TV, my wife and I have a contest in which she counts appearances of naked or part-naked men, and I count the ditto women. She wins.

          We had to reset the score after seeing "Wilde" last week.

  3. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    Maybe the Belgium statue ..."Piss"

    After all, us men call the "Morning Glory" "Piss-Proud".

    After a pee, gone (have to stand on my head, natch)

    But the Japs have the same....

    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manneken_Pis) - scroll to the last piccie. Can't understand why kiddies are offended. Simply shows where they cane from. "Etch'd in stone!"

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    David's dangler

    The member on the original statue is rather understated.

    I've seen bigger pricks down at the local bank.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: David's dangler

      The ancient Greeks had an aesthetic style that favoured small penises with a long prepuce. So the Renaissancee and neo-classical sculpture traditions copied that style.

      1. Silverburn

        Re: David's dangler @ AC 12:07

        oh my...I'm not even sure I want to know how you know this.

      2. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: David's dangler

        >oh my...I'm not even sure I want to know how you know this [The ancient Greeks had an aesthetic style that favoured small penises with a long prepuce.]

        History of Art and the Classics used to be considered part of a rounded (some would say elitist) education:

        "Sex was invented by the ancient Greeks, but it took the Romans to introduce it to women".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: David's dangler

          My hobby is figurative clay modelling. Apparently my style is "neo-realist" - which means the penis is modelled at the same scale as the rest of the body. It's surprising how many people say that it's been made too long. Seems as if all the neo-classical statue "little" ones have affected women's expectations. Men usually have a distorted expectation based on the foreshortening effect of looking down at their own.

        2. JEDIDIAH
          Linux

          Re: David's dangler

          > "Sex was invented by the ancient Greeks, but it took the Romans to introduce it to women".

          Anything the Romans did was a Greek copy. So whatever they did, the Greeks would have to have done it first.

          1. asdf Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: David's dangler

            This includes bankruptcy and irrelevancy for 1500 years as well.

          2. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: David's dangler

            >"Sex was invented by the ancient Greeks, but it took the Romans to introduce it to women".

            >Anything the Romans did was a Greek copy. So whatever they did, the Greeks would have to have done it first.

            It was a joke, and only mildly homophobic (though many of gay men I know won't complain since they get so much fun out of poking fun at the exploits of us heterosexuals). Of course Greek men and women got together to make more Greeks.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: David's dangler

              < "us heterosexuals" >

              Wink, Wink. Nod, Nod.

    2. Jedit
      Angel

      "I've seen bigger pricks down at the local bank."

      Not unusual, really. The average man has 5.5-7 inches, whereas the average bank manager is closer to six foot.

    3. thomas k.

      Re: David's dangler

      Or 'a grower, not a shower', as we used to call it..

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
    Facepalm

    *stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

    People have been shot for better puns than that...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: *stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

      Relax - there's no arm in it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: *stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

      "Excuse me, that is the Venus de Milo over there isn't it?"

      "Yes, sir, it is."

      "Ah, torso"

      dum-dum-tah

  7. Mako

    Sounds like the good people of Okuizumo could do with watching the Simpsons episode, "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yet in Japan there are many public naked statues in the style of the Manneken Pis - usually complete with waterworks.

    NSFW?

    Shikoku

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/rdale/4917810200/

    A station in Tokyo also dresses their Manneken Pis to mark various celebrations.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kajiai/3862226836/

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hmm...

      I was thinking that I didn't find this a very likely story. There are Japanese penis and vagina festivals...

      http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/japan/100315/japan-penis-japanese-vaginas

      I can't help thinking that something has been lost in translation here.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm...

        It is always difficult to predict the precise taboos of another culture. Women needing to cover their heads or legs in some European churches often catches out some tourists.

        In Singapore any public sculpture of a naked male adult is forbidden. However one of their tourist attractions is a bronze sculpture on the river bank by the Fullerton Hotel. It is "The First Generation" by Chong Fah Cheong" - and is of a group of life-size naked boys jumping into the river. A interesting engineering feat. Somehow I can't imagine a similar sculpture at Tower Bridge, London to celebrate the recreational use of the Tower Beach in the 1930s.

        NSFW?

        http://www.flickr.com/photos/adforce1/3231586870/sizes/o/in/photostream/

  9. Drakkenson

    it's not traditional

    I believe there are certain temples/shrines that enshrine giant wooden penises in Japan, so I really don't understand the good burghers... Perhaps those temples are only for the girls? (I could look up some pictures, but I am at work...)

  10. Esskay
    Joke

    Presumably

    If David was donning a massive pink tentacle it'd all be perfectly fine

  11. Simple Si
    Paris Hilton

    Festival of the Steel Phallus

    If they find that shocking, wait until these kids accidentally stumble upon Kanamara Matsuri (Japanese Festival of the Steel Phallus):-

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamara_Matsuri

    Giant penis costumes and penis themed floats parading down the street. A perfect festival for all the family.

    Paris? - Do you really need to ask why?

  12. Dave 126 Silver badge

    "The doctors say it may take months before I remember what normal genitals look like, and even longer before I remember how they are intended to function."

    - from The Onion, above

  13. Silverburn
    Childcatcher

    I'm surprised nobody has used it yet...so I will:

    "Won't someone think of the..."

    Oh wait, they already did. Or they pretend they did. A lot of this "won't someone think of the children!" Daily Fail crap is just a projection of their own selfish insecurities.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oh look...

      Someone jumping on the "Won't anybody think of the children" knee-jerk bandwaggon, without bothering to think if the story is accurate.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Oh look...

        Alice Cooper is now a Christian, like his father before him, but during their boozing heyday his band used to send flowers to Mary Whitehouse in gratitude- money couldn't buy the kind of publicity she provided them.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oh look...

          I was under the impression Alice Cooper was always a Christian, his stage shows were always a morality tale with him being the victim for his on stage persona's actions.

          Christians do also like a booze as well, you know. In fact there was a fairly famous water into wine incident...

          I also doubt he sent flowers to Mary Whitehouse, as he is American and she wouldn't have been heard of in America. I have heard this story about someone else though, I just can't remember who.

          1. Alan Esworthy
            Pint

            Re: Oh look...

            "Christians do also like a booze as well, you know."

            Yes, but some are rather hypocritical about it. In the U.S. Southern Baptists decry alcohol consumption in public but there's an old joke about what they do in private:

            Always ask two Southern Baptists along on a fishing trip. If you have only one he'll drink all your beer.

          2. JEDIDIAH
            Linux

            Re: Oh look...

            The water into wine incident happened with a group of JEWS.

            If you want to get a good handle on the Xian attitude towards booze, just compare what you get during communion to what you have to drink during a Seder.

            Xians are uptight and always have been starting with that monk that created that whole "deadly sin" nonsense.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Oh look...

              "Xians are uptight and always have been starting with that monk that created that whole "deadly sin" nonsense."

              Presumably Augustine author of the much quoted "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet" ? However - having had a good time for most of his life he was then determined to spoil it for everyone else afterwards. The earlier Christians had been surprisingly in tune with the more libertarian aspects of Roman society.

              Not that all later monks took too much notice. Rabelais gave us the word "rabelaisian" with his activities. Many monasteries have been making various alcoholic brews of beers, wines, and spirits for a long time.

              Henry VIII had no problem shutting down the monasteries after he ordered a comprehensive on-site survey of all their bad habits.

              The Puritans really were kill-joys - although many of them emigrated to inflict their views elsewhere. Unfortunately they have managed to export much of their more prurient behaviour back again.

              The Quakers managed to keep Letchworth Garden City dry until about twenty years ago - but one can forgive them, given their major contributions to human rights campaigns. Unlike the Salvation Army they didn't go round pubs with a collecting tin while banging the drum about temperance.

              The chapels managed to keep a lot of Wales dry on Sundays - although "Under Milkwood" did cast a less reverent light.

              If you want a good booze-up then the Roman Catholic Church is the place. Lots of sex too - as long as you don't enjoy it. Henry VIII would add that some things haven't changed since his survey.

            2. Euripides Pants Silver badge

              Re: Oh look...

              "Xians are uptight and always have been"

              No, most of us aren't. The uptight ones just end up on TV more 'cause they're so easy to ridicule.

          3. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Oh look...

            According to his interview on Radio 4 about a year back, Alice Cooper was raised a Christian, but he said he fell off it. He said that surviving rock n roll stardom was far harder than achieving it, and that booze came close to killing him, describing himself as having 'gone full circle' with respect to his faith. I dunno, the young Goth lady who normally keeps me abreast of such things has left my local pub for university.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This very badly need pictures.

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      Aye

      No way that Playmobil is going to be up to it.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Simpsons did it

    Itchy & Scratchy & Marge. Season 2 ep 9. Last few minutes.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Simpsons did it

      Iain Banks did it too- one of his teenage characters wears a t-shirt with a print of David on it. Her father objects, so she sews a felt fig-leaf on to it.

  16. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This doesn't go far enough!

    All statues should have their genitalia removed.

    Paintings should have them painted over!

    Animals and humans should have them removed as well!

    Won't anyone think of the children?

    Can I have my coat? It's the one covered in rabid foam....

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: This doesn't go far enough!

      >Animals and humans should have them removed as well!

      I've said it before- if some fundamentalist cult wants to travel the world putting trousers on animals to preserve their modesty, then I would like to watch them try. From a safe distance.

      (I used to know a fly-poster who was employed by Levi's to attach jeans to public statues... of course the jeans undid down the legs to allow them to be attached to figures whose feet were attached to the base.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This doesn't go far enough!

      The later Vatican did add pants to some of Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They can't be removed because the original painting was destroyed in the censoring process.

      They also added various fig leaf devices to their sculpture collection - although in recent years some have been removed. However - many naked male sculptures were selectively mutilated by various Christians at various times in history.

  18. PassiveSmoking
    Trollface

    Don't be anal,

    Don't be silly,

    Show us David's

    Marble willy.

    1. Euripides Pants Silver badge

      You forgot

      Burma Shave

  19. cs94njw
    Devil

    5 metres may not mean much to us, but it's probably 10 times the size of the locals.

  20. David Pollard

    Cambridgeshire police would probably ban it

    At least on the basis of precedent they would. The link here should presumably should be labeled NSFW.

    http://melonfarmers.wordpress.com/2010/10/page/4/

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cambridgeshire police would probably ban it

      They obviously have a thing about it. They actually fined a student £80 for making one in snow. a few years ago.

      A recent BBC 4 programme was about the history of the censoring fig leaf in art. A sculptor had made a classic herm that was erected in a London street. A herm is a style used by the Romans and Greeks - consisting of a tall square column with a head on top - and erect genitalia half way down.

      However in this case where the genitalia should be were just some little bits of ivy leaves. The sculptor said that one day, when he had a few drinks, he would be tempted to attach the genitalia - which were still in his studio. He demonstrated on his studio copy of the herm that the ivy leaves were actually mounting brackets.

      My favourite herm is the "Brunnenbuberl" (Boy at the fountain) in Munich by Mattias Gasteiger 1895.

      NSFW?

      http://www.flickr.com/photos/avec_plaisir/3806824063/

  21. The Alpha Klutz

    toddlers are afraid of the statues

    good. when can i get one in my home town?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    >Japan's obscenity laws

    [sarcasm]Thank you England for introducing your antiquated Victorian bullshit to Japan centuries ago.[/sarcasm]

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      decades*

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Thank you England for introducing your antiquated Victorian bullshit to Japan"

      Is that the case? My impression is that Britain had very little influence in Japan. They were mostly confined to the factors in the few trading ports. The Jesuits were in before that and advised the ruling classes. Then the USA imposed gunboat diplomacy with Commodore Matthew C. Perry in1853 to open up Japan to the West.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think it's more of...

        1. The invented prudish Victorian morals

        2. Said morals spread to the rest of the world like a cancer

        3. Blame the UK as the end result

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    From the country that invented Hentai...

    Yes sir, the big statue of a man is offensive. Their sense of what is offensive is totally upside down from the westerns, that for sure. On the other hand, the most degraded and downright weird stuff that I could find on the webs is - gasp! - japanese animation and cartoons, and it takes a lot of effort to startle me. But you don't see an outcry to ban it or tone it down in any way, shape or form...

    For example, it was totally OK the type of violence you would find in Tom and Jerry or Roadrunner cartoons, (big hammer on toes? - check, drop a safe? - check) but you just try any of that sort today in another media, and watch hell break loose.

    Bottom line is, weirdness and trauma factor goes both ways for each culture. We find it an abhorrent behaviour to commit suicide for your country or religion, they find it offensive the accurate replica of a man in marble. At least their parents do, I bet the kids just got scared of the statues, no matter what they are NOT dressing.

    1. Rukario

      Never mind Hentai

      Bukkake

      'Nuff said.

      1. PassiveSmoking

        Re: Never mind Hentai

        Never mind the bukkake?

        I don't think that's going to work as an album title.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: From the country that invented Hentai...

      >From the country that invented Hentai...

      "Hentai" just means perverted, it's an adjective..

      >Yes sir, the big statue of a man is offensive.

      Logic fail. You are making the assumption that "hentai" isn't offensive to most Japanese and then trying to make the point "if this really offensive thing isn't offensive why is this less offensive thing offensive". If that was the case it wouldn't be censored by law.

      >the most degraded and downright weird stuff that I could find on the webs is - gasp! - japanese animation

      Again, you're assuming that adult video etc isn't offensive in Japan.. anywhere that sells adult DVDs does so on another floor or in a curtained off special room... because it's "offensive" to most people.

      The themes might be slightly different... but Europe and the US produce just as "offensive" content as Japan does. Leaving out "hentai" from all of your searches on youporn might open your eyes a bit.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If they must put underwear on David,

    please let it be a Calvin Klein Steel Micro Low Rise Trunk with the support and comfort he needs for maximum performance time after time. Perfect for a well-cut demigod. Naturally, it stretches to get on over a large marble base.

    1. Local G
      Boffin

      Re: If they must put underwear on David,

      Wouldn't underwear for a statue really be outerwear?

  25. LaeMing

    Interesting

    that every one here (including the article author*) is focusing on the willy. I got the impression the main problem was more the 'huge statues appearing suddenly in/near playground'. With all that giant lizard vs giant robot pop-culture, maybe they are frightened the kids will think they are being invaded by giganta-whatsit. And maybe the willy slant is us imposing our Western ideas on what we think the Japanese ought to be outraged by.

    *I understand why Lester did it that way - the heading is too good to resist :-)

  26. Daniel Palmer

    >"bokashi",

    I think "mosaic" is the more commonly used term..

    モザイク (n,adj-no) (1) mosaic; (2) pixelated obscuring in images and video, usu. for censorship

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Japanese Censorship is weird to us...

    ... for instance, 2 armed guys rape a bus full of schoolgirls and the genitals are pixellated?

  28. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Joke

    RE: Japanese Censorship is weird to us...

    "... for instance, 2 armed guys ..."

    Better pixellate out those guns in the USA!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps its the size of the endowment that has them feeling insecure, not the subject matter.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Get to the point.

    Cut to the six pack. Stop beating about the helpless statue's bush.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Get to the point.

      "Cut to the six pack"

      Michelangelo's David doesn't have a six pack - he just has a slightly protruding tummy. However many replicas do substitute a six pack.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Get to the point.

        My six pack just totally disappears when I am relaxed and not tightening my abs. Doesn't yours?

        "Slightly protruding tummy"? Surely you jest.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: David's small package

    I'm sure I read somewhere that if you view the statue of David from above (ie if you were the size of Goliath) then you'll see David has been sculpted to look absolutely terrified! His pants equipment is suitably sized as it's owner is currently bricking himself at the prospect of fighting a massive giant.

    So David isn't small in the trouser department, it's an accuate depiction of someone in the midst of the fight or flight response.

  32. Local G
    Childcatcher

    PETROPHILIA

    Another first for the boffins at The Register.

    Make sure you don't chip a tooth.

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