back to article ‘That’s not art’ says Apple as it pulls nudes from AppStore

Cupertino’s prudery has struck again, after photography market 500px’s app was pulled from the AppStore over its depiction of nudity. According to the company’s COO Evgeny Tchebotarev, the app disappeared at around 1am (US Eastern time) on January 22. The million-download app has reportedly been spiked because it allows users …

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  1. OMGROFLSKATES
    Paris Hilton

    what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

    BOOBS! We all love boobs! Everyone need's boobs. Cept for the lads who love lads but even thoes lads have boobs, a bit flat boobs...

    just to top it off...

    Jay: Yeah. Silent Bob, you're a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.

    [Jay makes a rude head gesture and car horn honks]

    Jay: Ewww, you fucking faggot, I hate guys. I LOVE WOMEN!

    Paris: Because we've already seen her Bulgarian Airbags and much more!

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      ?

      Jay and Silent Bob do know how to deal with internet trolls: (NSFW as if you had to ask- no nudity, just profanity and violence)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l1_8wefR7c

      1. BorkedAgain
        Thumb Up

        @ Dave 126

        Thanks for the clip from that lame Jay and Silent Bob movie. Those guys are clownshoes...

        Oh hang on, that's my doorbell...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      Just for your info, a lot of lads who love lads still love boobs.

    3. LarsG
      Meh

      The American dilemma

      Allow violent hack and slash, shoot and kill films and video games.....

      Allow nasty death videos on You Tube.....

      Disallow the odd titty, bare bum and nipple.....

      The mentality of the American amazes me.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The American dilemma

        Yvonne Boyd: Really clothes are just things that cover up our mutual nakedness, I mean, underneath our clothes we're, all of us, naked. Even you, Alan.

        Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.

        Nina Vanier: All we are saying is that underneath your clothes you are naked.

        Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: The American dilemma

          Or:

          "We're all naked underneath our clothes"

          Granny Wheatherwax: "I'm not- I've got three vests on!"

    4. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      @OMGROFLSKATES

      What the F is all this shit about?

      What a twat!

  2. Dave 150
    Thumb Down

    It doesn't bode well for Apple TV lol

    1. Wize

      They will probably only allow one channel that carries any nudity and ban anything else that does, so you have to subscribe to it.

      Do they still have the Playboy app on their store? I remember when they banned other people's apps but not Playboy's due to the amount of money they got from Playboy to keep them on (and probably a bung to kill off opposition)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re one channel that carries any nudity

        That would be the iPorn channel, I suppose.

  3. Spoddyhalfwit

    I walked past an apple store today and it was full of tits.

    1. Eponymous Cowherd
      Thumb Up

      Not to mention.....

      Arses and, errm, "front bottoms"

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      @Spoddy

      I'd upvote you but I like the fact you've got 69 supporters. Wouldn't want to spoil that...

  4. Simon Harris Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

    Which El Reg staffer drew the short straw for that job then?!

    1. Tom 35 Silver badge

      Re: "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

      At least they give you an adult content warning when you download Opera.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

      I think the correct question there is; "Why weren't there any long straws in the bunch?"

  5. banjomike
    FAIL

    idiots...

    ...what about this one on itunes. Not safe for work. (remove spaces)

    https:// itunes.apple.com/ag/app/cunnilingus-101/id381996885?mt=8

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: idiots...

      NSFWork? Depends on what you do, dunnit?

      Is it just me, or does "as it relates to her most feminine of openings" have a certain Monty-Pythonesque ring to it?

      AC. Facial hair.

    2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Paris Hilton

      Re: idiots...

      cunnilingus, wasn't that the name proposed for the new airline created by the mergre of Continental Airlines and Aer Lingus?

      I can't understand why the merger never took place, but I did hear that the only destination was to be Paris.

  6. mIRCat
    Paris Hilton

    Obligatory

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  7. Magani
    FAIL

    Prudery ..

    ...thy name is Apple.

    1. Thomas 4

      In this grey world of ethics

      ...I take comfort that I have such a noble and moral company as *Apple* to show me the path to righteousness.

      1. TRT Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: In this grey world of ethics

        Well as soon as they partook of the apple, Adam and his missus took to wearing fig leaves...

  8. Steve Evans

    A country founded on the idea of freedom and escaping religious persecution... You could have fooled me!

    1. Jiminy

      a country founded by puritans escaping from rules preventing religious persecution actually

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        a country founded by puritanical hypocrites escaping from rules preventing religious persecution actually

        There, fixed that for you. Note: it's not all of them. It's just that they hog the limelight, and most of them seem to work for companies that allows them to affect/ruin the lives of many others.

    2. ian 22

      Freedom aplenty!

      Own a newspaper? You can print as you please. Own an iTunes Store? Sell (or not) whatever. Begin to see the pattern? Money! And plenty of it.

      Else you can go rant backabeyond.

  9. Robert E A Harvey
    Alert

    Priorities

    USAnian priorities baffle me.

    A gun in every hand is good, but catching sight of a pair of tits will cause the downfall of civilisation?

    Sounds like the taliban to me.

    1. stanimir

      Re: Priorities

      Guns are granted by the constitution, tits - no so much.

      The sheer truth is that porn lobby is just too weak.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

        All free males aged 18-45 to have a musket, ball and powder, the nature and organisation of the militia, all defined within a year of the second amendment by the guiys who drafted the second amendment

        It is not a licence to have more guns than teeth

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

          You're not supposed to combat the NRA with boring facts.

        2. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

          Actually, it's conditional on America not having a standing army- which now they do. And then some.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia

            >Actually, it's conditional on America not having a standing army- which now they do.

            ..in all fairness to the NRA, only the Northen US States have a standing army these days....

      2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Priorities

        "Guns are granted by the constitution, tits - no so much.

        The sheer truth is that porn lobby is just too weak."

        Should the porn lobby give stiffer opposition?

        Sorry couldn't resist

      3. Red Bren
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Priorities

        Surely tits were granted by God?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Once they started manually reviewing apps in their store they were on a hiding to nothing. Getting into the store implies that Apple have reviewed as suitable, therefore if there's anything in the store that's deemed inappropriate by just about anyone, anywhere, ever, Aplle have some culpability

    It must be like a giant millstone that they didn't let the community control the apps with scoring or something, they could always sidestep the responsibility issue then

    I bet Apple hate the management overhead they have to apply to their App store, but it's the core of their walled garden approach. Control Everything.

  11. Khaptain Silver badge
    Meh

    Choice for the adult user please

    Can't Apple simply inform the user that the App may contain nudity and that the final decision be put upon the buyer as to whether or her/she wants to install it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Choice for the adult user please

      I was about to answer that that meant aligning with every country separately, but then I realised that that would be at least the first benefit I can see from having separate Apple shop sections for each country (you know, the thing that makes you go to the -MUCH- cheaper amazon store to buy a record because it isn't available in your country for some reason).

      Having said that, I dislike censorship by a 3rd party because protecting children is a parent's job. I am very much not OK with a 3rd party imposing their version of morality on kids, especially if it's from a country that can get into a total outrage over a nipple (not even the full works) on TV whilst being entirely A-OK with a never ending repeat of kids being slaughtered in school and people being mowed down whilst shopping. Call me strange, but I have trouble considering that anywhere near what I would consider normal.

      (no, I wasn't going to link to some dodgy NSFW pics - not my style).

    2. Nordrick Framelhammer
      Trollface

      Re: Choice for the adult user please

      That will allow the user real choice, which is something that Apple simply cannot allow. It would run contrary to their goal of controlling everything.

  12. frank ly Silver badge

    I was shocked

    I went to 500px, looking for harmless pictures of tits and was presented with a spread-legs picture with an offensive title. It's a dangerous internet out there.

    http://500px.com/photo/8424098

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I was shocked

      Bearded...and tits? People need to be warned about this kind of stuff.

  13. Jonathan 29
    Unhappy

    Android Porn

    I have to say the quality of the porn apps on Android (alternative stores too) is equally disappointing if not downright rubbish and I have tried, Where is the innovation in this important field?

  14. Andrew 73
    Big Brother

    Better ban Tumblr then.

    Lots of filth there. Not that I know. It anything.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Better ban Tumblr then.

      My favourite site by far!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "T&Cs, which says users will not use the service “To post or transmit, or cause to be posted or transmitted, any Content that is libellous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive, profane, or that infringes any copyright or other right of any person;”

    Apples T&C's mean you can't use your phone for any kind of fun, unless you think facebook updating, twattering or downloading 1000's of fart app is fun.

    1. Jess

      offensive

      Couldn't anyone with an iDevice who is offended by violence complain?

      Perhaps if enough did that they may have to rethink.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: offensive

        >Apples T&C's mean you can't use your phone for any kind of fun, unless you think facebook updating, twattering or downloading 1000's of fart app is fun.

        It's never occurred to me to look at pron - or tasteful erotica - on my Android phone. A tablet, possibly, but it ain't a 'deal breaker'.

  16. CaptainBlue
    WTF?

    It Depends On How Big You Are...

    So Tumblr and Flickr apps are absolutely fine then, but 500px isn't?

    I see...

    http://500px.com/RHMPhotographic

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge

      Re: It Depends On How Big You Are...

      Not to mention the availability of Tumblr apps.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: It Depends On How Big You Are...

      I still had to scroll down and click twice to see them...several times.

      All I need is the coat...

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "That's not art"

    Did Apple really say that?

    I'm not sure of the point at which art shades into pornography - to be literal, pornography is pictures of, or writing about, prostitutes - but I wouldn't expect the staff of Apple to be the ones to make the distinction.

    Botticelli's Birth of Venus is a good example. According to some reports the lady in the centre of the picture was a notorious prostitute, in which case it's pornography. But according to others, Botticelli was a very moral and respectable artist who would never have used such a subject; in which case it's art.

    There are clearly cases where Apple's policy needs to be in quantum superposition, and only when you look at the picture does it fall into one state or the other. (On visits to the Uffizi, I've always felt it was art).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "That's not art"

      In the 1970s South Africa had a government rule for distinguishing pictures of art from obscenity in the book trade. The art pictures were in hardback books - the obscene ones were in softback books.

      The public library in Pretoria had a full set of the Time-Life books on photography. Pictures of naked people had neat triangles cut out to remove the breasts and pubes.

      There was an infamous poster of a silhouetted couple facing each other on a beach at sunset. The poster was periodically banned - then unbanned. It all hinged on whether the censor thought the woman's outline showed she was not wearing her bikini top. The publishers were delighted - and not just with the publicity. Every time it was banned then it was illegal to possess a copy bought previously - and buyers were supposed to destroy them.

      One evening my boss took me to a drive-in - along with his pre-teen children. The film had been censored to remove a brief shot of a woman's breasts - but otherwise was uncut for "General" viewing. The film? "Dirty Harry".

      It was a society of violence, personal guns, and corruption in public office. Yet prudish to the point of some public swimming pools having an enforced rule of half a metre separation between men and women in the water.

      The liberal Jo'burg Morning Star newspaper was delighted to quote an offended minister of the NGK church - "If God had intended for us to walk about without any clothes - then we would have been born naked".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "That's not art"

        You missed the bit, pointed out to me with much amusement by an ANC supporter in 1980, that unmarried Zulu women often go around bare breasted. But they were Africans, so it didn't matter.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "That's not art"

          "But they were Africans, so it didn't matter."

          I seem to remember a visiting Zulu dance troupe in London having to cover their breasts for fear of offending an English audience?

          However the young women's bikinis on Durban beach were just a few pieces of string with hardly enough cloth for a pocket handkerchief.

          A 1972 telephone directory was recalled because someone objected to a Kodak advert with a picture of a woman in a bikini - not one of the skimpy ones either.

          It was said that the Afrikaans families kept their daughters under strict control until they were 18 - and then wondered why they quickly became pregnant afterwards. On the other hand English-South African mothers were reputed to put the Pill in their teenage daughters' breakfast cereal. They didn't condone the swinging-60s culture - but wanted to play safe.

          Tom Sharpe's South African novels summed up the 1960/70s atmosphere very well - and aren't as exaggerated as people might think. See "Riotous Assembly" and "Indecent Exposure".

      2. peter 45
        Thumb Up

        Re: "That's not art"

        "If God had intended for us to walk about without any clothes - then we would have been born naked".

        Gone straight on my list of top 10 quotes. Have an up-vote for your trouble sir

        1. BorkedAgain
          Thumb Up

          Re: "That's not art"

          Not that I trust the internet, but apparently that's a Mark Twain:

          "If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way."

          http://quotations.about.com/od/marktwainquotes/a/twainreligion.htm

          (A new favourite for me too...)

  18. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Prudish yanks

      The USA has also been exporting its prudish attitudes. In the 1970s Sweden was a fairly free of such attitudes. My friends report that in the last twenty years they have seen an increase in self-censorship because of USA criticisms trying to make them feel guilty.

      The UK government agencies have also imbibed from the same poisoned chalice.

      1. TheRealRoland

        Re: Prudish yanks

        Chalice with the palace? Heard it got broken, so now take the flagon with the dragon...

    2. JimmyPage Silver badge

      RE: Victorians

      Where do you think they got it ?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: RE: Victorians

        "Where do you think they got it ?"

        There was a programme on BBC Four last week about the use of the fig leaf in sculpture. The Victorian prudish attitude seems to have been a middle-class thing - reacting against the excesses of the court of William IV (The Prince Regent). In private Queen Victoria and Prince Albert were anything but prudes - but they maintained a facade that was aimed at averting further public criticism of the Royal Family.

  19. Eddie Edwards

    Yeah yeah. Wake me up when the BBC shows a pair of tits before 9pm*, then we can talk about those prudish Americans.

    * Ant and Dec don't count

    1. Ted Treen
      Happy

      @Eddie

      "* Ant and Dec don't count"

      Oh yes they do - all the way up to 11 (well, 10 1/2 actually) - if they keep their hands in their pockets

  20. Brunnen-G
    Headmaster

    Oh, the irony!

    The pic Register choosed to lure us breast possesed to read this article is a painting by Adolf Ulrik Wertmüller.

    Danae and the golden rain. The golden rain in this case is the semen of Zeus which produced the hero Perseus.The painting has been hanging on a wall at the National Museum of Art in Stockholm since I was a toddler. It hasn't twisted my mind. Not a lot. ;-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh, the irony!

      But...the rediscovery of classical antiquity was all about art, and nothing at all to do with providing an excuse for rich patrons to hang up pictures of young ladies who had forgotten to get dressed before leaving the house.

      Mrs. Disraeli to a hostess: "I find our bedroom contains an obscene painting. I have been up all night preventing Disraeli from looking at it". How, was not specified.

  21. Trollslayer Silver badge
    Flame

    The real obscenity

    Hey, you need a credit card dregistered so your kiddy can use kiddy apps which encourage said kiddy to buy lots of things without parent's knowledge and this can't be disabled.

    And no parental control over this.

    1. Justice
      Facepalm

      Re: The real obscenity

      The parental control is not being stupid enough to give a 7 year old spendaholic your Apple ID password.

  22. Crisp Silver badge

    What is it with Americans hating naked people?

    Their priorities are totally screwed!

  23. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    But I thought it was OK as long as there are urns, or cherubs in the picture?

    Shows it must be art, dunnit?

    That's what Sgt Colon told me

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But I thought it was OK as long as there are urns, or cherubs in the picture?

      All it needed was a title that made a reference to the classical world, particularly mythology. Still happens today.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: But I thought it was OK as long as there are urns, or cherubs in the picture?

        >All it needed was a title that made a reference to the classical world

        The Rape of the Sabine Women by Rubens?

        (Okayokay, I know that in this context 'rape' means 'abduction', as in the word 'rapacious'. )

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: But I thought it was OK as long as there are urns, or cherubs in the picture?

          The ancient Greek/Roman myths were full of abductions and rapes - so plenty to choose from. To name a few there are paintings/sculptures of the abductions of Polyxena, Europa, Proserpine, Ganymede - then the more literal rapes like Danae, Leda, Ganymede.

          One Victorian sculptor went too far. He painted his female nude sculpture in natural flesh colours - which is what the Greeks had also done originally. This caused Establishment outrage as it removed the "safe" distance of one merely admiring a white marble statue.

  24. Justice
    WTF?

    Wait, what?

    The Daily Mail... sorry BBC have sexed up the report as a child pr0n app.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21160812

    At his rate, by the end of the day, I think this lone app may actually be responsible for 9/11

  25. S Watts
    Headmaster

    BBC Link

    Aunty headlines this as being pulled due to "complaints over possible child pornography" - Not any actual such content then - just that there may be, sometime, somewhere, somehow, perhaps...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21160812

  26. Tikimon Silver badge
    Pint

    Patience, lads! The wall is crumbling!

    Yerright! The USA has been in the grip of religious prudes for decades. Thankfully, their odious grip is slipping daily. It's pretty easy to generate a transient storm of strident parents if a nipple shows on TV, but they lack the power to legislate their oppression anymore.

    Here in my home state we've recently managed to pass Sunday alcohol sales in spite of their pious bleating, and even managed to overturn an ancient anti-sodomy law. It's pretty sad we ever had those laws, but it's PROGRESS to beat them back!

    Apple is simply being a wimp. It's going to take Apple a while to shake off the many stupid policies imposed by Jobs, this is one of them. Gee, wonder if having the dead Steve Jobs deciding what you can do with an I-phone is holding back international sales?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Patience, lads! The wall is crumbling!

      That's right, you asked for it, remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over

      -Heavenly Bank Account by Frank Zappa

  27. Nick De Plume
    Facepalm

    Fart? OK. Art? Not OK.

    And the stupidity of protecting "children" from breasts, but serving them graphic or implied violence.

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