back to article McDonalds burger app gives it to you straight from the horse's mouth

As Britain spits out its dinner in disgust after admissions that “beef” burgers sold in some UK supermarkets contain horse DNA, down under in Australia punters can relax because there's now an app for that. Or rather for proving that there's no horse cantering about beneath the golden arches. Stung by criticism it is a …

COMMENTS

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  1. Mondo the Magnificent
    Devil

    To be honest...

    ..I'd rather eat a kilogram of horsemeat than anything from Macdonalds..

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: To be honest...

      Their beef products are fine. They cleaned up their act a long time ago and are very aware all eyes are on them.

      The chicken nuggets on the other hand.......

      1. TeeCee Gold badge

        Re: To be honest...

        Let me fix that:

        "...and are very aware all eyes are on in them."

      2. Amorous Cowherder
        Happy

        Re: To be honest...

        Honest truth I read that as, "all eyes are IN them"!

      3. tomban
        Joke

        Re: The chicken nuggets on the other hand.......

        Their chicken nuggets are fine. They cleaned up their act a long time ago and are very aware all eyes are on them.

        The filet o' fish on the other hand.......

    2. LarsG
      Meh

      Please

      Has anyone actually found real meat in a McDonalds burger?

      1. Miek
        Linux

        Re: Please

        "Has anyone actually found real meat in a McDonalds burger?" -- No, McDonalds' food main constituents seem to be cardboard and sugar, which they proceed to microwave before your very eyes.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Devil

          Re: Please

          It may not be the waitrose braised beef that you lot are used to, but an occasional Maccy Ds is like listening to cheesy pop.

          You know you shouldn't, and that no good can come of it, but it feels right for a short while :)

          (Of course in itself should be an occasional treat, and should not lead to, as I observed one parent, a McFlurry being offered as a reward for eating a happy meal!)

          1. Steven Roper
            Coat

            @ Sir Wiggum

            "You know you shouldn't, and that no good can come of it, but it feels right for a short while :)"

            You reminded me of an old joke I remember from my high school days:

            Q: Why is jerking off like going to McDonalds?

            A: Because it's always the same and afterwards you always say you'll never do it again.

            Ok, ok, I'm going...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          FAIL

          Re: Please

          It's not McDonalds that microwave their burgers. Burger King do however.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. Goldmember

            Re: Please

            "It's not McDonalds that microwave their burgers. Burger King do however."

            I don't know why you got downvoted for that. I have been to a service station Burger King, and the staff literally did microwave my already-cooked burger. They then proceeded to charge me the best part of £8 for it (along with some cold chips and watered down Fanta). Soggy isn't an adequate word for the mush I got in that box. Needless to say, sandwiches have been packed on every long journey since then.

      2. Magister

        Re: Please

        I used to work for a company that supplied the meat to McDonalds. It's composed of two grades; 75VL & 85VL (VL = "Visually Lean")

        This meat was all from the forequarter of the beef animal; flank, clod, shin. These are the cheaper cuts of meat as people prefer the hindquarters, but it is still very good meat (I really like a nice piece of brisket). All of the farms where the animals were raised had to reach really high standards; and they keep an astonishing amount of data on them. They are able to track each of the animals back through their ancestry for many generations; they know what they have been fed and what medical treatment they have received and this information is kept for years.

        They take the two grades of meat and then mix them together in what is effectively a giant mincer to produce an homogenised product; so each burger should taste the same. BTW, the flavour comes from the fat, not from the flesh. Personally, I would rather eat the meat before they mash it all up; along with some vegetables and gravy. But that's just my personal preference.

        (BTW, I'm not the one that downnvoted you; I do have a sense of humour; warped perhaps, but I don't see why you should be downvoted for making a joke)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Please

          The Irish live beef market is very well regulated. A farmer I know had one of his cattle crushed by another in the shed whilst they are in during the winter. They kept the animal separate for a little while but he deteriorated and was dead after a few days. I figured he'd be able to sell him for beef. Nope. He had to pay the vet to produce a cert and pay a fee for a registered disposal of the carcass. So a fairly large investment lost. Technically there was nothing wrong with the animal but they have to be able to walk into the abattoir to their own death......

          1. mickey mouse the fith

            Re: Please

            Back in the 80`s, I recall seeing a cow stumbling and falling about in the yard of a local farm. The farmer just killed it and sent it into the food chain. I remember him saying that a few of his cows behaved like this and he had no idea why and presumed it had got brain or nerve damage from falling or fighting. It was only later that we found out about bse, I bet the farmer shat himself knowing how many infected cattle he put on peoples plates. Hindsight eh.

            As for Mickey d`s, Apart from the creepy paedoclown mascot and dodgy business practices, i always asumed their food was just average quality with loads of salt added to fuel the demand for shakes and cola`s.

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. Anonymous Coward
              WTF?

              Re: Please

              Really? They ship them live you know.... They don't drop them dead in the farm yard and then decide to drag 600+ kgs of dead animal up the ramp of the truck....

              PS - A cow has been a mother so she makes milk. You wouldn't want to eat cow as it's as tough as old boots.

              I think you might mean bullock (boy with it's ball pipes crushed) or heifer (girl that hasn't had a calf)....

              Rem that Boddington's advert from years back? It was a cow (girl) with udders, drinking pints talking like a bloke. Someone didn't do their homework as how many blokes have mammary glands......?

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

              2. mickey mouse the fith

                Re: Please

                "Really? They ship them live you know.... They don't drop them dead in the farm yard and then decide to drag 600+ kgs of dead animal up the ramp of the truck...."

                If your refering to my stumbling cow , the farmer sometimes supplied meat to the local community directly, he slaughtered onsite (not in the farmyard mind, he had a nice shed for the purpose) and offloaded it to locals by word of mouth in the pub or the farmers market etc.

                hmm, 3 thoughts spring to mind, 1) is it even legal to do that? 2) Did he sell to the locals because he knew the slaughterhouse wouldnt take an obviously sick animal? and 3) I probably ate some of his produce back in the day, bugger.

              3. Anonymous Coward 15
                Pint

                Re: Please

                Rem that Boddington's advert from years back? It was a cow (girl) with udders, drinking pints talking like a bloke. Someone didn't do their homework as how many blokes have mammary glands......?

                Depends if they've been drinking a lot of beer.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Please

          Agree with Magister. Many years ago our local food standards bod revealed the quality of MacD and said it was the only big chain burgers he'd allow his kids to eat as it was quality stuff. I'd rather not eat any fast food but when hungry and in a hurry I head for MacD, not the others.

        3. Fashtas

          Re: Please

          Of course, able to track the animals back through generations, records of what they are fed and any injections are things any commercial farm is obliged to do. You should see the stuff you need to record for PIGS!

      3. Lost in Cyberspace

        Re: Please

        So maccles has 100% beef in their burgers, instead of rusk, fillers and other shit - so that's bad how exactly?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: To be honest...

      re "..I'd rather eat a kilogram of horsemeat than anything from Macdonalds.."

      I totally agree so long as it as an identifiable cut of meat that hasn't been mechanically recovered and then gone through umpteen stages of processing where lots of non-meat shit like bulking agents , sugar (as a flavour enhancer) , extra salt and christ knows what else could be added.

      Since ANY burgers can't meat [sic] the above criteria , I just think I'll avoid 'em.

      Now where can I get a horse-steak ?

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: To be honest...

        "Now where can I get a horse-steak ?"

        My local supermarket has 'em. Never tried horse, but it *looks* like an okay piece of meat, once you get over the fact that the French seem to colour it a shocking red, and then proceed to show it what fire is and then tell you it is cooked...

        1. Shrimpling

          Re: To be honest...

          Where do you live?

          I want to buy horsemeat as it is tasty but I've never seen it for sale in the UK. I always bring some back with me when I go on holiday in France.

          1. Sooty

            Re: To be honest...

            "I want to buy horsemeat as it is tasty but I've never seen it for sale in the UK. I always bring some back with me when I go on holiday in France."

            I'd like to try it, I had a zebra burger at a local agricultural show last year and that was really nice. I really don't understand why it's near impossible to get anything even slightly out of the ordinary in the uk. I have a local restaurant that has all sorts in its buffet, ostrich, crocodile, kangaroo, and everyone always enjoys them, but you can't really get it yourself.

            One of my friends went to Thailand and managed to "lose" masses of his Facebook "friends" by posting that he'd tried dog and enjoyed it.

            1. Lars Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: To be honest...

              Just too few elephants in England, no problem with dogs, however. But what you eat is really much about religion not about taste. Had some dog, very upset, not by the taste but by the knowledge afterwards. "Nice" way to spoil ones dinner. Surprise your neighbors.

              Trying to return to sanity, the real problem is to know how many El Reg units of antibiotics and other stuff those poor souls have had before being dumped into your stomach.

              One of the things, within the EU, that worries me, is that we have some 500 additional stuff accepted to be added to even kangaroo meat, while those who are supposed to, by the EU, check if it is a good idea or not, are allowed to deal with only some 10 percent of that. And I am not joking at all. Superb lobbying by those who produce all that stuff.

              And Sooty, tell your friend he did not lose masses of friend on FB as friends on FB is just an illusion.

              I would be very happy if my wife finally lost all her "friends" on FB as I am totally fed up with all the birthdays.

              Please Chokenberg, consider the fact that there is only some 365 days for birthdays during the whole damned year, year after year.

            2. Muscleguy Silver badge

              Re: To be honest...

              It depends on where you are. When we lived in NW London there was an Aussie butchers in Finchley Central that did roo and croc and stuff. Up here in Scotland there are local places that stock will ducks, pheasant, partridge, quail, rabbit etc. I got a partridge on short date from the local Sainsbury's last week, seasoned it, browned it lightly in butter, the stuck it and the butter in the oven for 15min before pouring the butter and juices over the top as a sauce. It was delicious.

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              @Sooty

              >>One of my friends went to Thailand and managed to "lose" masses of his Facebook "friends" by posting that he'd tried dog and enjoyed it.

              I bet you've tried Sweep and enjoyed it.

    4. That Awful Puppy
      Thumb Up

      Re: To be honest...

      Actually, the by far most popular fast food place in my town specialises in horse burgers. And boy, are they delicious.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I had some horse the other day

        And some whizz, and some shrooms...

    5. Lars Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: To be honest...

      Horse is fine but it's all about when, why, how and where the horse died.

      The English do not eat horse, they say, but as I have never seen a graveyard for horses, not many anyway, I think they are not telling the truth or they spoil dogs and cats.

  2. Mage Silver badge

    Lemony Snicket

    I like the description in the "Wide Window".

    McD is somewhere to go when cold & wet or need a loo and no where else is in sight.

    "Happy Meals". Hmmm fail on both words.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      In Pursuit of Happiness

      True happiness lies

      Beyond your Fries and Happy Burgers

    2. cortland
      Coat

      Re: Lemony Snicket

      Isn't that a Roy Rogers song?

      (singing)

      Happy meals to you, until we meat again;

      Happy means to you, you never know just when,

      That the stuff that they put in the burger

      Might stop you from asking much further;

      Happy meals to you, Trigger's in the blend!

      I'll get my coat...

  3. Flawless101
    Joke

    Wheres the option...

    No option for feeling worse!

    I could be disgusted to learn that my McD's isn't ultra processed meat! How else will my hangover be cured?!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beef

    In the UK at least, McDonalds burgers are one of the best quality you'll get from a standard fast food joint. All the beef is British or Irish with no fillers. Contrary to what people believe, they aren't sourcing cheap meat from Brazil either.

    They also don't use Halal slaughter. Not that I'm saying they shouldn't offer a Halal option for those that want it, but I don't want it as a default for everyone.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Beef

      > or Irish with no fillers.

      Apart from the horsemeat, you mean?

      As one commenter on another newspaper put it, the horseburger scandal gives a new slant on "My Lidl Pony" :)

      1. wowfood

        Re: Beef

        Would you guys stop horsing around with all these puns?

        1. Jediben
          Joke

          Re: Beef

          Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh!

          1. Trevor 3
            Coat

            Re: Beef

            Vegetarians were close, but they had it backwards

            Turns out

            Meat is Red Rum

            1. IronSteve
              Thumb Up

              Re: "Meat is Red Rum"

              ...that one just made my day

        2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
          Trollface

          Re: Beef

          Would you guys stop horsing around with all these puns?

          Neigh, we will not

    2. My Alter Ego
      Coat

      Re: Beef

      "All the beef is British or Irish with no fillies."

      Fixed that for you.

    3. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Beef

      All the beef is British or Irish

      What McD's advertise is "100% {Irish|British} Beef". i.e. the beef is is 100% {Irish|British}, not that the burger is 100% beef. It's the other 86% what worries me.

      I prefer burger king anyway

      Paris, she'll know it its 100% real meat.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        Re: Beef

        I don't want to start sounding like a Ronald McDonald shrill, but they don't use any fillers or additives in their burgers (other than seasoning). Not even a binding agent. They bind the burgers by holding them at near freezing point before deep freezing them. Quite clever really (speaking as someone who makes homemade burgers that always fall apart).

        All this information is out there. Next we'll have people posting urban legends about a friend of a friend who found a whole eyeball in their burger!

        The places you do want to worry about are the cafes, restaurants and stalls who just buy the catering equivalent of the Tesco Value burger. Beef content in these can be very low and they are bulked out with crap. Next time you smell the burger van outside the DIY store, go and ask them if they can tell you the beef content of their burgers. Let alone where the beef has come from!

        1. Muscleguy Silver badge

          Re: Beef

          When making a beef burger all I do is finely chop an onion, add herbs/seasoning and the mince then mix well (by hand). Then you take a pattie sized lump and sort of slap it back and forth between your hands a couple of dozen times or so. Do not add egg or breadcrumbs. Then fry/grill.

    4. Wibble
      Coat

      Re: Beef

      It's no good for you as it's all full of Shergar

  5. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Nothing wrong

    with eating horse meat (unless you are on a kosher diet, that is). In fact, it's a required ingredient for some of the best salamis in the world...

    Proper Italian salami should have some donkey meat - how about that? Never heard anyone complaining...

    1. Silverburn
      Happy

      Re: Nothing wrong

      Proper Italian salami should have some donkey meat - how about that?

      Thanks. You bastard.

      1. Miek
        Linux

        Re: Nothing wrong

        The Japanese like to eat raw Horse meat and call it Cherry Blossom Meat . I guess us Brits are just picking on the Chickens.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nothing wrong

          I've eaten horse sashimi in Japan. It was delicious. Of course, I had no idea it was horse (although I had a good idea). I took a photo of the sign sticking out of it and looked up the Kanji later on.

          Japan's great for that. Half of the time you have no idea what you're eating and you end up eating stuff you'd normally avoid. And it's usually tasty.

          Japanese burgers are revolting though.

    2. Joe Harrison Silver badge

      Re: Nothing wrong

      There's plenty wrong with eating horse meat. Ask any horse.

    3. TeeCee Gold badge
      Alert

      Re: Nothing wrong

      In fact, it's a required ingredient for some of the best salamis in the world...

      You mean like this?

      Warning: Those with weak stomachs or who have eaten recently probably shouldn't follow that and definately should skip the recipe for Karta.

  6. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. wowfood

      Re: My Little Pony burger

      Only if it comes with a pinkie pie toy and a cupcake.

      1. Chris Leeson

        Re: My Little Pony burger

        I'll pass on the cupcake. You never know what they put in those things...

        1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
          Joke

          Re: My Little Pony burger

          My Lidl Pony burger

          Fixed it for you

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: My Little Pony burger

          "I'll pass on the cupcake. You never know what they put in those things..."

          You are a sick individual. I am a slightly less sick individual for getting the joke.

          For anybody who does NOT get the joke: there is a (for want of a better word) "fan" fiction online about MLPs and cupcakes, that implies more of a Hannibal Lechter-ish bent to one of the ponies. It has been made into a few videos. Treat any potential link to that in much the same way you would treat razor wire made from Cobolt-60 and covered in HIV and Ebola.

          1. Chris Leeson

            Re: My Little Pony burger

            Thank you for your kind words.

            As it happens I haven't read the story in question, but do know it by reputation. So, I suspect, did the person I was replying to.

  7. Silverburn
    FAIL

    Meal detection app

    ...is never gonna work.

    For one - Never in a million years does the meal before look you anything like the one on the posters.

    Two - just because the database says "supplier of branch x beef is manufacture y" doesn't make the contents accurate. Something Tesco is only now discovering.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Meal detection app

      There's a video on youtube from McDonalds themselves that explains why the burger in the photo never looks like the one you are served.

      Here you go:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSd0keSj2W8

      At least they explain why.

      1. JayBizzle

        Re: Meal detection app

        I didnt know that video existed but at least it explains why in a good way.

        Having worked for the big M in the past, i knew that we were kicking these things out at such speed you have no chance of picture perfect presentation.

      2. John Tserkezis

        Re: Meal detection app

        I'm impressed as to how close the photo burger is to the sold burger.

        After seeing a photo shoot for a food spread that was going to a magazine, sure, the photo food is actually food, but it's usually not edible. Or if they are, they might not taste right.

        Meats are undercooked to get the right texture on the outside, and if the shoot mandates a carved section, then that section is blow-torched to match what meat colouration you would expect on the inside.

        Jelly has so much gelatin in it that it's entirely inedible - it has to be - otherwise it would never hold up with the shapes they give it.

        Other foods have drastically changed recepies, because the shoot might take some time, any oils in the sauces might start showing on the surface before they're done photographing it.

        That's why what you "get" isn't what you "see" in the ads.

  8. Hope Spirals
    Paris Hilton

    Mmmmm tasty marketing

    'Use our apps, and we'll tell you all about our products... honestly'

    I won't eat their crap - and I certainly won't swallow their (or indeed anyone else's) bullshite.

    1. Def Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Mmmmm tasty marketing

      Grow all your own donkeys do ya?

  9. The BigYin

    Yay!

    Now the UK can eat its way, horse free, to obesity, diabetes and an early grave.

    I feel so safe!

  10. heyrick Silver badge

    Is this a real "official" app?

    Calling the brand "Macca", a "Meh" button... hard to believe this is a real app. I thought McDo were rather more particular about their "brand image" (down the specifying fonts, sizes, placements, and pantone colours) than to put out something quite that informal.

    Certainly, the French app doesn't refer to the brand as "McDo" despite that being what everybody seems to call it.

    1. vic 4

      Re: Is this a real "official" app?

      But this is aimed at Australians. I my experience they tend to demand less formal wording of things, at least for text presented on software that I've worked on.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Strewth

        "But this is aimed at Australians. I my experience they tend to demand less formal wording of things, at least for text presented on software that I've worked on."

        I once used an application written in Python, which was developed for the Australian market by the University of Woolamaloo. It was *incredibly* informal, though it got very confused if anyone entered their name as anything other than "Bruce".

        Also, the licensing prohibited its use by non-heterosexuals, for some reason.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Strewth

          But did it maltreat the Abos?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is this a real "official" app?

      Here in Oz we jump in the ute, chuck a lefty down the highway, get the munchies, hang a Uie and visit Maccas for some tucker.

      Geeze, ever McDonalds here uses "Maccas" in their adverts.

      Horrible food though, not at all like a true Aussie burger with beetroot, egg and bacon.

    3. Big Ben

      Re: Is this a real "official" app?

      Some of the stores in Oz are even changing there signage outside to 'Macca's' in trime for Australia day. No reason to believe that they wouldn't do it for a small iOS app.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mac D's

    Had a large 1/4 pounder-with-cheese meal + Coke Wednesday night. Was excellent, as I was in my once-a-month McDonald's mood.

    Eating it every day or two is stupid. Eating it every few weeks is fine.

    And I'm partial to dine at the OXO or occasional 'poncy' restaurant too. Enjoy all parts of the spectrum I say.

    1. Danny 14 Silver badge

      Re: Mac D's

      McDs is too expensive nowadays. Fish and chips from our local is cheaper than a McDs. You dont get that "1 hour later greasy" feeling from the chippy either.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    no no no!

    It used to be the case that when a restaurant first opened the quality, portions etc. where great for at least a month until they had obtained a good customer base.

    When McD first came to the UK there was a lot of publicity about it and so I went for a meal there.

    It was crap, even a Wimpy bar was better.

    In the last 30 odd years I have eaten maybe ten times in a McD, but only when stranded in some god forsaken town where everything else was closed.

    1. Mike Brown

      Re: no no no!

      By christ i miss Wimpey. Wimpey king size was the best fast food burger bar none. There fish and chips used to be great to.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: no no no!

        There's still a few around. Down the road from me there's a Wimpy kiosk that's been there for years.

  13. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

    ... the waitress asked if I wanted anything on it, so I put a fiver each-way...

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Coat

      Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

      Have you tried the Tesco's meat balls, there're the dog's bollocks

      1. The Jon
        Coat

        Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

        Put my Tesco burgers in the fridge yesterday. Checked them today... aaaaaand they're off!

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

      Pipped to the post with that joke!

      I went to the cafe, told the waitress I was so hungry I could eat a horse. They rustled up a cheeseburger.

      I asked them why they were still serving them, they said they'd bought a batch and were now saddled with them.

      They gave me a lot of detail on the bap it was served in - the grain used, when it was baked, the temperature of the oven. Very thoroughbred.

      Dropped the burger by accident, waitress said not to worry, they'd hoove'r it up later.

      When I left Tesco cafe, the waitress said it was snowing out, so best dressage up warm.

      Later had a dose of the trots.

      Tescos profits were hit by the horsemeat scandal, but are now stable.

      The problem with shopping at Tesco - I only went in for a box of burgers, and ended up spending a pony!

      Enough horseplay! Looking a bit of a foal now.

  14. Pete the not so great
    Joke

    Hambergers...

    Is an anagram of "Shergars bum"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hambergers...

      Is "hambergers" some sort of autism that only affects pigs? :-)

  15. Dick Emery
    Unhappy

    Chocolate milkshakes

    Why, oh why, oh why, do they have such a problem making chocolate milkshakes? A good 90% of the time you get something that is not chocolate tasting at all and a very distinct creamy white colour. If you are lucky you can argue it with the person at the counter and they 'might' either put extra syrup in for you to mix in yourself or add more into the mix and pour a fresh one. However many a time I have just been told 'we don't do that'. I sat down with one manager once to discuss the issue and he told me it's difficult getting the mix right as if they add to much syrup it makes it bitter tasting so they err on the side of caution and make it weaker.

    Strawberry, Banana and vanilla experience no such issues.

    I love the occasional McD's choccy milkshake but now I hardly bother unless I can get them to add more syrup.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Chocolate milkshakes

      "Why, oh why, oh why, do they have such a problem making chocolate milkshakes? A good 90% of the time you get something that is not chocolate tasting at all and a very distinct creamy white colour"

      Years ago a rumour went around locally that you should avoid the milkshakes at the local branch of a fast food restaurant due to "unwanted additives" added by disgruntled employees.

      All complete rubbish of course, but your description of "a very distinct creamy white colour" suddenly reminded me!

  16. Thomas 4

    In other news

    A Tesco Express was razed to the ground in Westros by Dothraki screamers, after traces of pork and beef were found in horse burgers.

  17. N2 Silver badge

    MD now and then is OK

    If it keeps me alive, anything else is a bonus!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't give a shite!

    If I was that worried about getting the very best, I wouldn't be going to McDs.

  19. Mark C 2
    Joke

    Tesco Burgers

    I use to eat them but ended up with a bit between my teeth so I stopped. Quite fancy trying a My Lidl Pony burger though!

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Remember kids, with fast food meat it's pretty much all.....

    ....lips, fat and sphincter.

  22. Winkypop Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Once every two years is just enough...

    ...to remind me how awful McDonalds 'food' is.

    Sometimes you're in a hurry out on the highway.

    Always, you regret the decision.

  23. tuxtester
    Meh

    How would you like your burger sir?

    Gangnam style ... giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up ...

  24. ChrisBoy

    Bah, horsemeat in burgers?

    What about the countless camel toes in Primark leggings?

  25. Steve Knox Silver badge
    Holmes

    It's Just Advertising

    Notice there's no "I feel worse" button...

  26. Hexer
    FAIL

    The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

    I was hoping this app could at least give you a picture of the cow the meat is from.

    [Ford] sat down.

    The waiter approached.

    "Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?"

    "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."

    A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

    "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?"

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Dead horse" as tomato sauce is often referred to by devotees of rhyming slang,

    What? Could someone explain this (see title) to a confused American?

    The closest I can figure is Dead ~ Red and Horse ~ Sauce but that's a bit of a stretch for a rhyme even with clipped consonants...

    1. Winkypop Silver badge

      Re: "Dead horse" as tomato sauce is often referred to by devotees of rhyming slang,

      Dead horse = tomato sauce

      Red/dead

      Horse/sauce

      Correct!

      The bigger issue is :

      White Crow or Heinz?

  28. DrXym Silver badge

    Their beef is not the issue

    McDonalds uses 100% ground beef. It's not like these Tesco burgers which are made from 60-70% + sawdust, cigarette filters and anything else used to bulk them out. (yes I gest but the point is they're not 100% beef)

    That's not to say McDs are perfect by any stretch. Some of their foods contain ridiculous amounts of additives, especially their chicken patties / nuggets, shakes and burger buns.

    Also, their food labeling which appears on packaging is so oblique and confusing that I cannot accept it's done by accident. Nobody arrives at the system they use which uses wavy arrows, dotted lines and hieroglyphics without knowing that it's confusing as hell and therefore obfuscates the information in plain sight.

    That said I love the odd burger in McDonalds though if Burger King were cheaper and brought back the mushroom double swiss my allegiance would instantly switch. McDs would have to stick the McRib (the really sloppy original one basted in sauce) back on their menu if they expected any chance of winning me back.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Their beef is not the issue

      Try making a burger from 100% beef, it doesn't hold together. Therefore they either process the meat in some odd way to get it all to gel together or there's something else in there.

  29. Graham Lockley

    I Hear...

    ...they are now checking their veggie burgers for traces of Uniquorn.

  30. TRT Silver badge
    Coat

    Horsemeat doesn't bother me...

    In fact we tried some from the freezer the other night. Lettuce, tomato, onion, relish... all the usual dressage, slapped between two pieces of thorough bread. The other half said it was a bit chewy and hard going, but I found the going good to firm. The taste was champion. Mind you, later on I felt it coming up on the inside, but I wasn't going to take offence. It's not like it's the first time I've had a black beauty in my mouth or anything.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hypocrits

    You can't even trust the fries at McDonalds. Despite labelling them as being only fried in vegetable oil in the US (and thus Halal) they were actually part fried in beef fat before being frozen.

    There was a huge class action about this some years ago.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How to eliminate horse DNA detection?

    "As Britain spits out its dinner in disgust after admissions that “beef” burgers sold in some UK supermarkets contain horse DNA"

    According to an interview this morning on R4, the Food Standards Agency came up with a novel solution, they've decided *not* to test for foreign DNA in beef. Totally unrelated, Tesco's technical director used to head the Food Standards Agency.

    "diners are offered basic information about the provenance of the meat, fish, bread, pickle and lettuce before them. Reassuring biographies of providers are also on offer".

    Again according to the same prog, the problem isn't the beef but the 'filler' added to give structure to the product, the provenance of which the Food Standards Agency weren't able to source.

    "a beefburger rarely contains 100% beef .. An economy beefburger must contain 47% meat .. Under European law, the term "meat" is defined as "skeletal muscle with naturally included or adherent fat and connective tissue" which has not been mechanically stripped from the carcass. Any meat that has been pressure-blasted from the carcass must be listed separately as MRM (mechanically removed) or MSM (mechanically stripped) meat. MRM meat or paste can in theory be used in economy burgers but has to be listed as a separate ingredient'.

    --

    bon appetit ...

  33. CmdrX3
    Meh

    I always wonder

    Are people pissed off because they are not getting the beef they paid for or because they are eating Champion the Wonder Horse. Personally I say put the beef back in the beefburgers, and give the horses their own burger.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: I always wonder

      I did find a 1970's Birdseye Burger commercial (with excessively curly haired Ben) where he makes a hippopotamus out of beefburgers.

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