back to article Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

A dramatic decline in cases of pubic lice has been linked to growing enthusiasm for the Brazilian bikini wax, and trimmed shrubbery in general. Phthirus pubis is estimated to infest between 2 and 10 per cent of people worldwide, according to this report, but the species could be heading for "disaster" if humans persist in …

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  1. Evil Graham
    Unhappy

    It's not all good though

    Unfortunately whilst a smooth pubis is good for keeping down lice infestations, some researchers have suggested that it may have the opposite effect for other types of STD. The problem is thought to be related to the small cuts and abrasions that one inevitably makes during the process of shaving, which facilitate the spread of infection by contact.

    I would post a link to this research, but I'm at work and there's no way I'm putting that in the search box.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's not all good though

      so surely that just means good hygiene needs to be practiced!

      and with the evolution of light based dilapidation techniques, that will stop being an issue

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: It's not all good though

        I think the word you were looking for is 'depilation'. I dread to think what state someone's pubis would be in to be referred to as dilapidated.

        1. Flatpackhamster
          Thumb Down

          Re: It's not all good though

          If you put the right search in to Google, I'm sure it'll show you a picture.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's not all good though

          For some reason Madonna just sprang to mind.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: It's not all good though

            If you dont have some sort of horrible sexually transmitted disease... I am sure that she could point you in the right direction...

        3. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

          Re: It's not all good though

          I think the word you were looking for is 'depilation'.

          The way I misread that ("delepidoteration"), I thought he was talking about getting rid of butterflies.

        4. Fatman Silver badge

          Re: ...someone's pubis would be in to be referred to as dilapidated.

          I could fathom someone who has been working for a long time in the pr0n industry.

        5. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's not all good though

          Actually I think mine may be described as dilapidated, although I admit I haven't looked for a while. I take my dad's advice: a staunch socialist, he always said one should bathe with swimming trunks on because it's wrong to look down on the unemployed ...

          1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

            Re: It's not all good though

            Have you considered a stimulus package.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            A real socialist...

            would give the unemployed a hand.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's not all good though

      put it in the box *fnar fnar*

      1. b166er

        Re: It's not all good though

        You feeling lucky? :)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's not all good though

      It ain't all about waxing and shaving you know. Trimming doesn't damage the skin, and there's always the option of using frikkin laser beams to zap the follicles and keep the undergrowth down for an extended period of time.

      I do recall the research in question though. I believe it was referring specifically to the spread of herpes and HIV... the research looked at promiscuous gay guys, and introduced to me the dubious term "manscaping" to refer to careful topiary with the aid of a razor.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Careful with that razor

        It can cause ingrowing hairs as they grow back and that is very painful. Trust me on this

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Careful with that razor

          If you shave against the grain with a wet razor, sure. Something that men discovered on their throats ages ago, only writ a little more uncomfortably large :)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Careful with that razor

          "It can cause ingrowing hairs as they grow back and that is very painful. Trust me on this"

          You're doing it wrong.

          1. Wize

            Re: Careful with that razor

            Or worse. Stubble. Not just for you, but your partner.

            "its like fucking a hedgehog"

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: ingrowing hairs

          So, I won't be asking YOU to shave my pubes

  2. Ian Watkinson
    Paris Hilton

    Brazilian Deforestation leads to unexpected consequences

    Paris Hilton, becase we've seen she does...

  3. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    Oddly, not an entirely original solution. The ancient Egyptians dealt with lice in a very similar way.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oddly, not an entirely original solution. The ancient Egyptians dealt with lice in a very similar way.

      And not to forget that mayonnaise with a few drops of tea tree oil deals with an existing infestation quite nicely. Something to do with the mayo emulsifying the skin so that they can't breathe through it (and they don't like tea tree too much either, so it can't hurt to add it). So much kinder (to humans) than the various synthetic chemicals the drug companies peddle.

      Anon because ... well, obviously!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Mayo doesn't grow on trees, you know ;)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Origins of the Mayo Clinic?

        I checked their web site, and they seem to have diversified now...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Male Australian students? I didn't study there, I studied in Cardiff. The only bloke I know who removed his pubic hair was my mate who, whilst on a shuttle bus full of revellers between the town centre and the larger out of town night clubs stood up in the aisle, lowered his smalls and set fire to his pubes. This would have been funny enough, but the flames spread up his 'crab ladder' (hair between his pubes and belly button) which he tried to smother with his forearm... alas, the hair on forearm caught alight too.

    On another occasion he liberated some ether from his campus lab and furiously cycled through the daffodils. I hope he doing well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > Male Australian students?

      I understand it's becoming more popular amongst chaps because losing all the shrubbery makes one's trouser parts look proportionally bigger.

  5. Psmiffy
    Childcatcher

    Is it good or bad?

    All the "Tech" sites that I follow seem to find this story very interesteing and seem to all have reports on it, but not one of them has mentioned if its a good or a bad thing (for us of course, we know its bad for the lice).

    Could this be one of those things like the bacteria in our belly buttons that is actually good for the human race in general?

    Enquiring minds want to know ...

    1. Code Monkey

      Re: Is it good or bad?

      I've never had crabs but I've heard tales. The conclusion I reached was that not having lice is better than having them.

      1. S.G.
        Unhappy

        Re: Is it good or bad?

        Having had crabs, I concur that life is better without them!

        That was 20 years ago and the pharmacist didn't bat an eyelid when I told him and he offered me some spray.

        I'm glad I did worry and put one on when she said "don't worry about condoms"!

        1. Seanie Ryan
          Facepalm

          Re: Is it good or bad?

          easy way to get rid of crabs is to rub sugar into your affected regions

          ..

          .

          .

          .

          it rots their teeth....

          :-)

          I did hear a story once about a local guy who decided the DIY way to remove them was a good old burn-em-out, rubbed in some petrol and .... lets just say a night in A&E and a few days wrapped up so he could get on with writing his Darwin Award runner-up speech

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Is it good or bad?

            Frank Zappa would recommend the Blue Lotion

            1. perlcat
              Coat

              Re: Is it good or bad?

              I was always told to shave a strip down the middle. put lighter fluid on one side, light it, and stab the little bastards with a fork as they ran for cover.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I read that as "Public louse..."

    ...and was expecting another story about some "family values" politician imploding in a specular display. I feel slightly cheated :-(

    1. Code Monkey
      Devil

      Re: I read that as "Public louse..."

      Give it a few minutes and I'm sure some (minor or otherwise) politico will oblige.

    2. Fatman Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: I read that as "Public louse..."

      As I read your comment, a mental image of John Boehner popped up.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We need to save them crawlies!

    open a special reserve where they could grow happily in their natural habitat.

    1. auburnman

      Re: We need to save them crawlies!

      I nominate Frankie Boyle's beard.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: We need to save them crawlies!

        I nominate Sean Connery

        1. Why Not?
          Coat

          Re: We need to save them crawlies!

          'I nominate Sean Connery'

          see offshoring isn't always bad.

      2. Trollslayer Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: We need to save them crawlies!

        If it will shut him up.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We need to save them crawlies!

      Follow the lead of agriculrure and offer subsidies for leaving areas untouched as "set-aside"

    3. proto-robbie
      Holmes

      Re: We need to save them crawlies!

      Or Russell Brand, to combine a vast sanctuary with a shag-tastic transport mechanism.

  8. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. JeeBee

      Re: Nikolai Markus - Bushes (Norman Cook Remix / 1999)

      Surely the more recent, albeit less dancey, Amanda Palmer - Map of Tasmania?

    2. Phil E Succour
      Go

      Re: Nikolai Markus - Bushes (Norman Cook Remix / 1999)

      Surely the best backing track would be the great Ivor Biggun's "Dorothy Please Trim Your Hinge (misprint )"

  9. mark 63 Silver badge
    IT Angle

    The I.T. angle?

    Shaved privates more predominant in porn than anywhere else. . .

    pron is on the net

    the nets made out of I.T.

    is that it?

    what do I win?

  10. Pooka
    Pint

    Is it bad that....

    .... I read one of the sister's name as "Jurrasic" and my first thought was "my god, she must be ancient!"

    Beer, because it might fix my eyesight....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is it bad that....

      You think that's bad... I as I read her sister Juracy's name I thought "Apple"!

      I'm afraid it'll take more than beer to fix me! :o(

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Is it bad that....

        same here - I'm a bit diselksik too ;-)

  11. ravenviz
    Joke

    trimmed shrubbery

    Bring us another (trimmed) shrubbery.

    1. NorthernCoder
      Joke

      Re: trimmed shrubbery

      Ni!

      1. Simon2
        Joke

        Re: trimmed shrubbery

        Ecky,ecky,ecky,ecky,pkaang zooom poooing,zwaozlj

  12. frank ly Silver badge

    Pictures or it didn't happen!

    I'm surprised that I'm the first.

    1. Ken Y-N

      Re: Pictures or it didn't happen!

      Of what? A dead louse?

  13. Chris Miller

    Science angle

    When our ancestors were hairier, there was only one type of human louse. As the hair on our heads became segregated from other areas, two separate species of that louse developed. By analyzing differences in their DNA, boffins can estimate when we became shaved apes.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Hmmmm and what about FACIAL HAIR.......

    And be coming to take a seat here me lovely!

    Itch, Itch, Itch - scratch, scratch, scratch......

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: Hmmmm and what about FACIAL HAIR.......

      I haven't shaved anywhere (including face) for decades.* Normal hygiene and care in choosing partners seems to deal with the issue.**

      * With the exception of some shaving of my abdomen by a surgeon.

      ** And I'd rather have crabs than shave - honestly!

      1. Grave

        Re: Hmmmm and what about FACIAL HAIR.......

        ^this

        full beard was considered a sign of an adulthood because only adult men have beards, neither women nor children do (it was easy to observe and come to this basic common sense conclusion for millennia. lion without its mane is no lion at all but a lioness :))

        it was/is pretty universal in all ancient cultures (until the decadent societies arose which promoted effeminate/prepubescent looking males (like the roman by which western culture is influenced)

        act of shaving is a subliminal act of demasculinization :)

        shaving pubic area = trying to look prepubescent = supporting paedos

  15. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Someone

    get onto the RSPCA/PETA/ World wildlife fund ... all these lice losing their habitate.. its a disaster for the species and the world...

    No hold on crabs aint cute and cuddly.

    1. NogginTheNog
      Thumb Up

      Re: Someone

      Aww, I'm sure they are to other crabs!

      1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

        Re: Someone

        Aww, I'm sure they are to other crabs!

        Well it's not crabs as such, but this Southpark episode is hilarious. The "The Thing" thing they did cracked me up.

        1. PhilBuk
          Happy

          Re: Someone

          @Frumious Bandersnatch

          Yes, great episode (Lice Capades - S11E03) - and there was a Sanctuary at the end where they all lived happily ever after - the public hair of a well known pneumatic-Tomb-Raider-type film star.

          Phil.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Interesting stats...

    ...No Aussie women with crabs since 2008, but men are still getting it, but less often.

    So much for the Aussie raw meat eating,"beer" swilling, hard man image, if the girls ain't got them boys, where are you getting them from?

    * yes the stat's are about as useful a 73 out of 86 women tested say you should buy this item makes you look younger.

    1. Martin Budden

      Re: Interesting stats...

      I take it you haven't seen Priscilla Queen Of The Desert?

    2. Alan Newbury
      Devil

      Re: Interesting stats...

      South East Asia is not only close, but cheap to access as well...

  17. I think so I am?
    Joke

    Its a migration thing

    Well my guess is all the lice will move to Germany and Italy

    1. PhilBuk
      Gimp

      Re: Its a migration thing

      So you're saying pubic lice can live in sideburns?

      Phil.

  18. Tegne
    Paris Hilton

    The other type of Merkin..

    These were worn by women (mainly prostitutes) to disguise their bald lady-gardens that they used to shave to ward off pubic lice. Nothing new to see here.

  19. Phil W

    There really is nothing like a shawn scrotum

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv_a8GbjN-o

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There really is nothing like a shawn scrotum

      wasn't he in the happy mondays?

  20. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    I thought the article was about politicians. I'd read the title as Public louse.

    Then again, I guess either word is appropriate.

  21. Dave in the States
    Devil

    Endangered Species?

    Has the Save The Crab campaign started yet?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Endangered Species?

      I'm still waiting for some wanker from PETA to wade in: "Human beings are devastating another species due to our obsession with 'mowing the lawn'!"

      1. Fibbles

        Re: Endangered Species?

        PETA only do that for the cute and fluffy animals that are likely to increase the donations they receive.

        What? You didn't actually think it was about saving animals did you?

        1. P. Lee Silver badge

          Re: Endangered Species?

          NuLab provoked a constitutional crisis over fox hunting, but millions of tuna and chickens die and no-one blinks an eye. House-cats kill birds but no-one bothers banning them. Farmers go in for insect-genocide but few people care.

          See those red sweets in the supermarket? Many of them are literally coloured with the blood of animals.

          Cute can save your life!

          1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

            Re: Endangered Species?

            "See those red sweets in the supermarket? Many of them are literally coloured with the blood of animals."

            I do believe you are thinking of carminic acid that is produced by an insect called a cochineal. The insect actually produces the acid as a defense against predators such as ants. It also just happens to be good as red dye because it doesn't change color over time and it can get the "all natural" moniker. Red blood on the other hand would be a poor red dye because it changes to a brownish color quite rapidly, at least on the white dress shirt I was wearing to a wedding when I hadn't noticed the razor nick until parking the car.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Endangered Species?

              Yeah he's talking about Carminic Acid and intentionally trying to scare people who don't know any better (because they've probably never worked with Organic or Natural Foods in Production, Distribution, or Marketing) by saying its made from animal blood. Its far too close to the truth for him not to know so it kind of makes me a little angry.

              But really, In most places you can label something "all natural" and get away with it as generally there is no enforcement mechanism or even legal definition as to what "all natural" means. A product can be 100% conventional, grown with all the GMOs, preservatives, chemicals and Pesticides in the universe, but the producer can still usually label it as "all natural".

              Thats why EU or USDA Organic certification's important, if imperfect as producers in the US can label anything 95% organic or higher as USDA Organic. If you're not looking to eat a bunch of organophosphates, GMOs, additives, what have you its the safe bet, but again, not perfect.

    2. Ken Y-N
      Boffin

      Re: Endangered Species?

      And today this popped up in Google News:

      http://www.livescience.com/26338-crabs-feel-pain.html

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    well at least we know..

    britney spears is liceless.

  23. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    RE: Endangered Species?

    No doubt its time for the United Nations to take steps to protect their habitat. I, for one, will do my part to patrol for areas of deforestation.

    Paris, wondering why the inspector is taking so long.

  24. Eddy Ito Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Eager Brazillian Strippers??

    So no eager Brazilian beavers then?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    On the flip side

    When we start using Arthur C Clarke style "Braincaps" and human hair goes the way of the dinosaur, head lice will also go extinct.

    Apparently even powerful insecticides won't shift the new mutated strain of these, people are having to resort to nuking from orbit to get rid of the itchy little blighters.

  26. Magnus_Pym

    Aaaaaaaah statistics

    "remove all or some of their pubic hair"

    Surly there is a huge difference in the effect on transmission of pubic lice between bikini line trim and a brazilian. Meaningless statistic.

    I would have thought the link was more likely around a transmissability index of Hairlessness * promiscuity.

  27. b166er

    I always though crabs were what you got when fishing in another man's pond :)

  28. Juan Inamillion
    Coat

    Alternative way to get of them

    Is to stand in a bath with a bit of water and sand in it, then when they come down for a drink you step out of the bath and pull the plug....

    /hair shirt on the left please...

  29. hi_robb
    Childcatcher

    You have to feel sorry for the...

    Poor crabs!

    Their regular enjoyment of bungee jumping using the tampax string might soon be a thing of the past :-(

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