back to article Steve Jobs' Apple yacht freed after family settles the bill

Venus, the yacht that Steve Jobs planned but never got to sail in, has been freed by bailiffs after the settlement of an outstanding bill from co-designer Philippe Starck. Steve Jobs yacht Venus The good ship Venus at launch The iconic French designer worked with his friend Jobs on the design of the 70m motor yacht, which …

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  1. Jack Project
    FAIL

    That yacht looks terrible

    ...and I bet the navigation systems are shit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That yacht looks terrible

      Looks like a house boat whose purpose is to be tied to a jetty.

      Not a pretty sight, as the old adage goes for both boats and aircraft, if it looks good it will sail/ fly good.

      This looks destined to sink which would in my opinion be a mercy.

      1. Lars Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: That yacht looks terrible

        Agree, very much, but then again it is all about how this yacht was supposed to be used. If it was designed to be used only in some marina or some lake in the US as a cocktail party location it is probably very good. No pictures about the inside so far. But to consider it a yacht for the seven seas is an other question.

        Compared to yachts by Paul Allen or Ellison it is, indeed, cheap in every way you want to compare them.

        The bridge I find very peculiar, only wipers to clear the windows and the windows are straight and not as they should be, tilted forward, to increase visibility. (I have spent some years at sea).

        I wonder what class of certification this thing has passed. And this has nothing to do with Apple or Jobs (at things he was more qualified to do).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That yacht looks terrible

      I agree, my yacht look much better.

    3. Andrew Moore Silver badge

      Re: That yacht looks terrible

      my guess is that Jony Ives and Philip Stark don't design many yachts.

      1. Lance 3

        Re: That yacht looks terrible

        It was their first and hopefully the last.

      2. fishman

        Re: That yacht looks terrible

        Philippe Starck has designed the interior of many yachts. I myself do not care for his work and consider many of his yacht interiors ugly.

        1. JaitcH
          Happy

          Re: That yacht looks terrible

          Philippe Starck obviously has something going for him AND he has money in the bank to prove it.

          1. Levente Szileszky
            WTF?

            Re: That yacht looks terrible

            "Philippe Starck obviously has something going for him AND he has money in the bank to prove it."

            A knack for scamming clueless-tasteless, arrogant, rich idiots out of their money while selling them awful design ideas an art major 8th grader would not submit as homework?

            FWIW Berlusconi has a LOT MORE in the bank, heck he was even PM for a looong time for a whole country yet he is still just another ugly little midget with dyed hair, desperately screwing 16-20 years old prostitutes to forgot he's almost 80 years old... money tells you nothing about the person - but this ridiculously awful, ugly piece of crap sold as a yacht tells you a lot about Starck and his 'talent', for sure..

            1. David Webb

              Re: That yacht looks terrible

              Not only does it look terrible, it's bloody tiny, Paul Allen's little boat (Octopus) looks a hell of a lot better and is twice as big? I mean, if you want a boat to show off your wealth you don't really go for an ugly cheap thing, especially if you're Apple, maybe Job's didn't want to get sued by putting round corners on the boat?

              1. Jon Press

                Re: That yacht looks terrible

                "it's bloody tiny"

                If only I'd brought my sawn-off yacht pun...

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: That yacht looks terrible

                Steve Jobs wasn't a big headed asshole like Paul Allen. He lived in a fairly average house and so why would he have a gigantic Bond villain style boat?

    4. Eddy Ito Silver badge

      Re: That yacht looks terrible

      It does look a bit like they took an old axe prow steamer leveled at the gunnels with top stack consisting of a glass box, a giant iPad, a smaller glass box and topped with a giant iPad mini.

      I assume the shiny axe edge is to destroy any hapless blow boat that should cross its path but the chrome anchors are totally for show and will never see the bottom of a harbour but some poor soul will be hanging out there polishing before making entry anywhere.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Polish the bits that hand down at the front before making entry. It's a well-known seaman's routine.

    5. JaitcH
      FAIL

      Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

      I bet the navigation systems are shit.. Surprised? They are running on Apple products.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

        Care to name an OS that has better software which adheres to guidelines and has good usability? Okay, thought not.

        OSX Apps are some of the best for usability, they follow Apple's style guide well, so each application has a familiar GUI and not some custom monstrosity.

        Windows apps are a free-for-all and Linux apps are built from so many different toolkits there's no way of knowing what sort of crap you'll get. All with different appearance, shortcuts and conventions.

        1. RICHTO Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

          Easy - Windows has often better software that has a strict certification process - guidelines here: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?displaylang=en&FamilyID=e49820cb-954d-45ae-9cb3-1b9e8ea7fe8c

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

          Errrm - I can't think of any Windows apps without good usability and a consistent look and feel - except for ports from the open source / legacy OS world and Java stuff - both which usually look like something out of the 1980s.

    6. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: That yacht looks terrible

      Well, what do you expect. It is _NOT_ done by Sir Jonathan Ive. It is owned by Apple (actually not even that now) not built by Apple.

    7. Fatman Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: That yacht looks terrible...and I bet the navigation systems are shit.

      I hope that they don't use Apple Maps!!

  2. Steen Hive
    WTF?

    €13.5m

    For "designing" a ship that looks like someone built a works canteen on the jetty then toppled it into the water.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: €13.5m

      Gotta be in the right place, at the right time and have the right connections ya know.

      Same as with real designer dresses. Just look at the stuff being worn at the Oscars or Cannes. A significant portion of it (>20% on average) looks like sh*t, does not fit the person who wears it and suffers "wardrobe malfunctions".

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: €13.5m

      Money and fashion sense rarely go together. After all he built a company on selling things that were the be all and end all of style and just have to be replaced every few years.

      I'm not a great believer in the need for fashion police but a fashion navy wouldn’t go amiss here.

  3. Efros
    Paris Hilton

    Venus in chains

    Prefer "Venus in furs!".

    Paris for obvious reasons, furs, yacht, chains etc.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Venus in chains

      No link to Wikipedia needed, really.

      We know about literature and stuff.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Venus in chains

      Sounds like a good night out ;)

  4. Mat Child

    Typical Jobsian Design

    Form over Function, that yatch is not really the best sea worthy design as it eschews all good practice for an ocean going yacht. Plus it doesn't even llok good so it's a complete waste of time and money. At least some ship builders got some work out of it

    1. JimC Silver badge

      Re: Typical Jobsian Design

      Trouble is you haters are rather misunderstanding the purpose of these things. By and large sea transit and so on is not their main raison d'etre and the owners won't do long voyages on them. The majority of them are effectively caravans. It gives the owner the ability the have their own de luxe mansion wherever there is a sea port with, bizarrely, both more status and, if you consider the cost of a mansion in every port, probably less money too. Indeed there are even ships crossed with floating docks that will take on a bunch of yachts and do the Ocean transit with them secured on board. So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration.

      1. Ole Juul Silver badge

        Re: Typical Jobsian Design

        So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration.

        Obviously not here, but seaworthiness used to be one of the prime considerations of a yacht. Also, contemporary American usage tends to convey size and power rather than more traditional nautical ideals. I don't know much about Jobs, but I suspect he did not have much of a nautical background and probably didn't really understand the aesthetic in that field. With all due respect, it is entirely possible that he was actually out of his depth here.

      2. Turtle

        "Seaworthiness"

        "So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration."

        That's a $150 million piece of flotsam there. Wouldn't it need just all kinds of insurance - like casualty and loss insurance and liability insurance against injury or death of passengers and who knows what other kinds of insurance. I would not be surprised if some kinds of insurance were required by law; either by international treaty, or the laws of particular countries, or lesser jurisdictions within particular countries (although the last can probably be avoiding by not sailing to those jurisdictions.)

        Would insurance companies actually insure a boat that was built with "seaworthiness really not a prime consideration"?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: misunderstanding the purpose

        Sure, but even gin palaces are better looking than this thing.

        And every sea-going vessel, of whatever size, must be, err, sea-going. IE seaworthy. Because you never know what might happen.

        Hater? Yes! of Ugliness! It is utterly irrelevant whether it belongs to Jobs, Gates, Shuttleworth or some unknown scrap-plastic magnate. There are boats that are among the most beautiful man-made things on earth, and they don't get less beautiful because of who owns them. This one is horrible.

        1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
          Childcatcher

          Re: misunderstanding the purpose

          And every sea-going vessel, of whatever size, must be, err, sea-going. IE seaworthy. Because you never know what might happen.

          Wait! I thought this thing sails on Safari, not IE.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Devil

            Time to consider Windows for Warships

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Typical Jobsian Design

        Explain why it's missing the paddlewheels, chimney funnels and geezers in stripey shirts playing blackjack and smoking baccy pipes?

    2. JaitcH
      Meh

      Re: Typical Jobsian Design

      Doesn't have to be sea worthy. They are designed to be moored so the owners can wear funny hats and drink themselves silly.

      If they actually want to cross a real sea, they are carried as deck cargo. You can see these floating marinas all over the world and, upon arrival, the owners fly in.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Typical Jobsian Design

        "If they actually want to cross a real sea, they are carried as deck cargo. "

        Not really. The vast majority of mega-yachts get around under their own steam. This is an 80 meter yacht and it should be able to travel by itself rather than rely on a Dock Express.

        But I doubt it has the range to do a transatlantic crossing. Nor would I trust those big bits of glass they've "designed" into the hull: Asking for trouble even in the Gulf of Lion.

    3. GeorgeTuk

      Re: Typical Jobsian Design

      Sorry but did you read the article? It underwent sea trials and then returned to Amsterdam.

      This is required for insurance and also to have the ability to fly under a countries flag (whichever you choose).

      Its a shame you are a hater.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Typical Jobsian Design

        Sorry, Apple owns the hate market. They may release a new product known as the iHate.

      2. MR J

        Re: Typical Jobsian Design

        Sure it underwent sea trials, but they were using Apple Maps and when they went 100 naut miles out it was really only 7 ;P...

  5. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Trollface

    What's up with the design?

    Some shipping company didn't want to license him the patent on rounded corners?

  6. Chris 171

    Marine designers...

    Must be pissing themselves, I've been given a cheap RC yacht for Christmas that's got better lines than this. Tho in black it at least might look a bit meaner.

    So essentially it's a floating pile of i devices with a mirrored bow, makes it marginally more useful I suppose...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What Happened?

    I know fugly when I see it and this is it!

  8. Andrew_b65
    FAIL

    I have a question

    Which end is the front?

    1. Ole Juul Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: I have a question

      Which end is the front?

      Yachts don't have a "front".

      1. JaitcH
        Happy

        Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

        Yachts have sails, this looks as if a slight wind, maybe Force 2 or 3, would blow it over.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Dagg
          Holmes

          Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

          Yachts do not need sails to be called a yacht. Consider the Royal Yacht Britannia.

        3. pepper

          Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

          Well, it will probably sustain a bit more, its not uncommon for force 3/4 to blow on the coastal area's in The Netherlands. So its probably already had to sustain atleast that.

          Still, I wouldnt put a foot aboard that ships, I've seen some unstable ships but this must top it all...

      2. elderlybloke

        Re: I have a question

        The front is the pointy part.

        You landlubbers know nothing.

    2. JaitcH
      Meh

      Re: I have a question

      The end without propellers.

      1. Ole Juul Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: I have a question

        The end without propellers.

        It could have a bow thruster.

  9. frank ly Silver badge

    If I were a rich man ...

    If I had as much money as the techno-plutocrats, I'd have a replica of a tea clipper (or similar) built. It would be a thing of beauty and serious sailing people would beg for the chance to be crew members.

    1. Rampant Spaniel

      Re: If I were a rich man ...

      Clippers are beautiful but didn't they suffer from short lifespans? They would be high on my list but a replica of Victory or Endeavour would be at the top. You would get a hell of a view of the gp in monaco!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Short Life Span of Clippers

        I think that that was a matter of timing. They were beautiful, and fast, and probably as long-lived as any ship --- but engines came along.

  10. maccy
    Thumb Down

    seriously ugly

    I would have said:

    fuck it, it's yours. No way am I paying more than I already have for that p.o.s.

  11. Matt Bucknall

    That's one fugly yacht!

    Jonathan Ive a one trick pony?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That's one fugly yacht!

      What's Jonathan Ive got to do with it?

  12. 404 Silver badge

    That is one fugly yacht

    Seriously, you do not have to think differently given the history of the art of shipbuilding.

    Personally I would want a shipbuilder, not a designer, for my ocean-going phallic symbol.

    ;)

  13. moiety

    It's an 8-bit yacht.

    How come nobody as seen that?

    1. moiety

      Re: It's an 8-bit yacht.

      *has

  14. fishman

    Proper name

    I'm surprised that no one has called the yacht by its proper name - the iSore.

    1. Levente Szileszky
      Thumb Up

      Re: Proper name

      Hahaha, perfect. :D

    2. Fatman Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Proper name- the iSore.

      Bravo!!!!

      You sir, just made my day!!!!!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Naval target practice?

    I'm sure the US Navy would love to live-fire that mid-Atlantic, should it make it thus far.

  16. sleepy
    Facepalm

    Latterly, Steve Jobs wasn't really into hedonism; I suspect it was mainly for privacy and home cooking anywhere in the world with his family. Not for sailing; it's a landlubbers idea of the perfect yacht.To prove it, it's being taken to the USA as deck cargo.

    If he'd wanted to sail it, his friend Larry Ellison would have put him right on the design(er).

    1. Steen Hive
      Stop

      "If he'd wanted to sail it, his friend Larry Ellison would have put him right on the design(er)."

      Are you kidding? Ellison's yacht is just as much a white, brickish post-industrial horror as this thing. I saw it a few years ago moored in beautiful Stockholm. It nearly ruined the entire city it was so hideous.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blah blah and what does your yacht look like - exactly - it doesn't. Green does not suit you. Perhaps you should be less concerned with how other people spend their money or what they consider 'good' - maybe Steve Jobs would not have liked your Focus ST in green either?

    1. Hellcat
      FAIL

      Mine looks an awful lot like http://www.humphreysdesign.com/734/bathsheba/

      At 34ft it's a fair amount shorter, but makes up by being a beautiful yacht to sail and race. Not jealous at all of these gin palaces. I wouldn't mind their bank balance, but wouldn't waste it on such an ugly iSore.

  18. Arctic fox
    Windows

    "angular design with floor-to-ceiling windows built into the hull."

    Installed by means of Boot Camp one assumes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "angular design with floor-to-ceiling windows built into the hull."

      There's the proof that Apple needed to use windows in their design process

  19. Dog
    Headmaster

    A bit cramped for all those iMacs

    s/70-foot/79-metre/

  20. CaptSmegHead
    Go

    Are there any pics of the interior? That would be interesting to see

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There seem to be a lot of butt hurt jealous help desk jockeys in here today. It is easy to say something is ugly when you can't afford to build your own custom boat that could beat that.

    1. Mr Young
      WTF?

      I just don't see the butt hurt?

      In fact - I don't think you could give the yacht away on this forum!

      1. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: I just don't see the butt hurt?

        I'd take it ,the scrap value should be pretty good.

      2. Ted Treen
        Devil

        Re: I just don't see the butt hurt?

        That's because most of the spittle-flecked invective is little more than the Pavlovian rantings of the pre-pubescent Leach Fan Club...

        1. Darryl
          Gimp

          Re: I just don't see the butt hurt?

          "How dare you insult our God Steve and his holy iYacht"

          Wow, talk about butt-hurt. Maybe some people just don't like it. Ever thought about that?

          1. Ted Treen
            Thumb Down

            Re: I just don't see the butt hurt? @ Darryl

            "..Maybe some people just don't like it. Ever thought about that?.."

            Yup:- there are lots of things I don't like - but I don't lapse into a diatribe of spittle-laden invective in the manner of a 10yr old...

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. John H Woods Silver badge

    whose butt hurts?

    One does not not need to be able to purchase a thing to form an opinion on its aesthetic qualities. One does not necessarily say something is ugly because one has a beef with the people who created it or to whom it belongs. What is irrational, however, is to assume that the only reason someone can have for criticising something is that they couldn't afford it themselves.

  24. bag o' spanners
    Devil

    It's a stretch houseboat. I'd confidently expect someone to be puking out of the only window that opens as it enters port.

    1. Ole Juul Silver badge

      It's a stretch houseboat.

      Yep, you nailed it.

  25. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Why would anyone have a pain in the bum from looking at this thing? I agree it's likely to cause serious eye-strain, but (in case you hadn't noticed) that's sort-of the other end of the body.

    I agree with those who think it's ugly, and that's not jealousy. I wouldn't want a sea-going craft of any kind - landlubber that's me. However, I can really appreciate the lines of some finer craft and will happily pay money to go and see them. I wouldn't want to go and see this thing even if I was paid full expenses to do so.

  26. This post has been deleted by its author

  27. The_Regulator

    Hahaha controlled by imacs

    Hopefully they are not using crapple maps or the good ship might run aground.

    Here's how the conversation would have gone if Steve was alive and sailing:

    STEVE: Mr Cook, set a course for Seattle harbor, I need to test these rail guns on MSFT HQ.

    COOK: aye aye sir, its only a couple of miles up the coast afaik

    6 Hours Later......

    STEVE: where are we Tim?

    COOK: Umm, let me check my iphone maps just to be safe. This iOS 6 is great you know.

    10 minutes later....

    STEVE: Well, where are we Tim?

    COOK: Bollox we've run aground apparently just off the Mexican coast sir.

    **A Loud Bang Sounds and Cook's dead body hits the ocean.**

    STEVE: You're fired bitch, someone get google on the phone asap!!!

  28. tony trolle
    Happy

    Build to late

    Built to late for a Viking funeral

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    set sail for fail

    may i christen thee the floating fondle-slab

  30. Paul 37
    Pirate

    The Good Ship Venus ?

    Never had Jobs down as a Rugby fan

    #frigginintheriggin

  31. brislex
    Thumb Up

    I for one like the vertical bow, very old school. Would cheerfully own this yacht. It might not be the most seaworthy way to make a boat that big, but until a naval architect states otherwise, it would probably be gracious to assume that it will survive a significant journey (in any case, if I was splashing out 100+ million, that would be my employee/captains problem anyway).

    .

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder why Jobs didn't use rounded corners, maybe he feared Apple would sue him. Honestly , the yacht looks ugly, it reminds me of the those monstrous ships owned by villains in James Bond flicks.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's about time the iYacht would get jailbroken, and evrybody would be on board.

  34. Trevor Marron

    The yacht has been released, but the matter is not settled.

    The boat was released by the bailiffs, but only because a sizeable bond was lodged to make payment with, if when they settle the dispute the Jobs family lose.

    The issue is far from settled.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The yacht has been released, but the matter is not settled.

      And maybe it was a testbed for an invisibility cloaking field.

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