back to article Star Wars VII: The Disney Movie signs Toy Story III script genius

Disney's newest, shiniest cash-cow, Star Wars VII, has picked up a writer in the shape of Little Miss Sunshine director Michael Arndt. The Hunger Games II scribe, who has also recently co-written a sci-fi movie for Tom Cruise, has apparently been working on a "treatment" for the movie for a couple of months, The Hollywood …

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  1. Code Monkey
    Windows

    I wonder if the move to Disney means they'll get round to making those prequels that were touted after Return of the Jedi, which we all know is the THIRD STAR WARS FILM AND THE LAST ONE EVER MADE!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think you mean sequels?

      4, 5 and 6 - Original Star Wars films.

      1, 2 and 3 - Awful pre-quels.

      and Disney will make: 7, 8, 9, 10 all the way to infinity, sequels is the correct word.

      1. Silverburn

        @ AC

        ...whoosh!

        Besides...how do you shoot the sequels when:

        - The emperor is dead

        - Darth Vader is dead

        - The death star is....errr...dead

        - The master star destroyer and the chain of command is dead

        - The ewoks are dead...no wait. Damn.

        1. Major N

          Re: @ AC

          There's an awful lot of After RotJ books that are officially Canon - well, that is to say, they /were/... they could do a lot worse than make Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy...

          Palp[atine, Vader and the Second Death Star may be gone, but by no means were all of the Empire's forces destroyed at Endor. Now, various Admirals etc, each with their own fleet, are warlords, vying to either unite the remnants of the Empire under themselves, or hold onto their own feifdoms. At the same time, you have the Rebel Alliance forming the New Republic, Luke going renegade and back again trying to resurrect the Jedi order... there's plenty that could be done.

          I just hope they don't invalidate the twenty-odd years of post- RotJ canon with the kind of twoddle Eps 1-3 inflicted upon the saga....

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Return of the Jedi was awful.

          2. thegrouch
            FAIL

            Re: @ AC

            Thrawn Trilogy? I can live without Force repelling furry tree lizards thankyouverymuch.

        2. Jayml

          Re: @ AC

          At the rate of sounding like a complete nerd (and in my defense my son loves this stuff) Star wars has a story that goes on beyond the films (there were 9 in total of the books). So there is easily a story that could carry on.

          For me I'm just glad Speilberg is not directing it. So tired of his cliche ridden storytelling that can ruin any film. His last good film was Schindlers list. Every film since ET has the 'kids saving the world' cliche . And War of the worlds started immensly, and about half way through turns into an awful film.

          Get Joss wheedon to direct (Co-incidentally he co-wrote Toy Story) and Michel Ardnt to write and you have the makings of a good film. Time for some of the tired old Hollywood hands to make way for some new hotshots...

        3. Michael Habel Silver badge
          Alert

          Re: @ AC

          Is the Emperor dead?

          It was very much implied in other Star Was Sagas (Post RotJ), that the Emperor had managed to make good his escape. Yeah I'm referencing that awful Droidz Cartoon of the mid-late '80s that were part of the Cartoon marathons that the likes of ABC, NBC and CBS used to show back then.

          I think it might have also been referenced in that gawd awful Ewoks Christmas Movie as well.

          Sadly I have no idea if this is more canon in the Books post RotJ though.

          And they managed to rebuild the second Deathstar during TESB so they've had more then enough time to have built a Third or Thousands of 'em by now.

          And as much as you all hate Jar-Jar.... I FLIPPN' HATE THOSE FRICKIN' EWOKS.

          So can we just forget about Jar-Jar now please???

          1. Not_The_Droids

            Re: @ AC

            In the books (post-ROTJ), there was a clone Emperor...

          2. David Given
            FAIL

            Re: @ AC

            Yes. Also, no.

            According to the ghastly train-wreck which is Star Wars canon, Palpatine did indeed die when he fell down that shaft (and then got exploded). Unfortunately he didn't stay dead. The various Star Wars novel writers brought him back from the dead so often they might as well have installed a revolving door --- I believe at one point there was a mechanism where if he died he simply body surfed into a waiting clone body, but by that point I'd failed to care.

            If you're interested in the Star Wars novels, I'd recommend the Timothy Zahn _Thrawn_ trilogy for being (a) quite good, (b) actually written in the Star Wars ethos, and (c) having a villain who is actually interesting, being neither villainous nor incompetent. Curiosity beyond those can easily be satisfied by browsing Wookiepedia.

            1. DougS Silver badge
              Paris Hilton

              Emperor in a clone body

              If I looked like the Emperor did, had clone bodies laying around, and had the ability to enter one if I died, I'd have had Vader kill me well before he did at the end of the 3rd episode so I could quit looking like the victim of an acid spill. Seriously, how are you going to get girls looking like that? I mean, c'mon, what's the point of being a Galactic Emperor if it doesn't get you laid?

              Paris, because even she wouldn't hookup with someone looking like that.

            2. Colin Brett
              Joke

              Re: @ AC - Somewhat Off Topic

              "According to the ghastly train-wreck which is Star Wars canon, ..."

              Have you ever read any 40K novels?

              Colin

              1. Mike Brown
                Joke

                Re: @ AC - Somewhat Off Topic

                in the defence of 40k novels they are written for 14 year old boys, unlike star wars...........oh hang on......

          3. Britt
            Facepalm

            Re: @ AC

            He survives in the books. His body is destroyed but his force spirit returns to a clone body. Of which he has a few. Also, just becouse 1 super start destroyer is gone, doesnt discount the many others each heading up massive fleets. Except Lusankya, which they buried.

            I'm voting Black Fleet Crisis. Loved that trilogy.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ AC

          Besides...how do you shoot the sequels when:

          - The emperor is dead

          - Darth Vader is dead

          - The death star is....errr...dead

          - The master star destroyer and the chain of command is dead

          - The ewoks are dead...no wait. Damn.

          Have you never read a book man? After the movies the emperor's cloning project is still running, complete with Palpatine and Luke Skywalker clones, the best military mind in the empire is still out there, as are all the Dark Jedi Palpatine secretly trained, and the Noghri wil gladly finish off the Ewoks for you if you can get Leia to say in passing that they're annoying little fuzzballs.

          There's so much more of the universe for Disney to screw up than the movies.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        HAN SHOT FIRST DAMMIT!

        What are these 1, 2 and 3 prequels you are talking about? There have only been three Star Wars films made. Everybody knows that.

        My biggest concern is that they *actually* restore the film and nos fuck about with them. I mean, making so Greedo shot first. I ask ask you!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm waiting for someone to call it a "reboot". Except that when you reboot your computer you don't generally find that much of it has massively changed, unless you have just upgraded the OS.

    The dark side was no more at the end of Return of the Jedi, so it will fun to see how they bring it back. Perhaps with a Dallas shower scene? (it was all a dream).

  3. Tank boy
    Facepalm

    I sense a disturbance in the Force...

    I have a bad feeling about this...

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: I sense a disturbance in the Force...

      But will Mr. Plinkett do a followup?

    2. Benchops

      Re: I sense a disturbance in the Force...

      as if millions of fans suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

  4. Shaun 2
    Thumb Up

    I'm actually looking forward to it.

  5. AbortRetryFail

    Cautiously optimistic.

    Put me down as one of the 'cautiously optimistic'. Disney have done a good job with Marvel since they aquired it and I think they stand a good chance of doing the same with Star Wars.

    1. Lord Midas
      Childcatcher

      Re: Cautiously optimistic.

      Me too. They can't do any worse than Lucas already had with his prequels. Though (and I'm wearing my flame proof suit now) I actually like Revenge of the Sith. Except for using the word 'younglings'. Makes me want to punch an oldling!!

  6. Thomas 4
    Meh

    Why conjure up a host of new characters no-one cares about?

    The Timothy Zahn series featuring Mara Jade and the sublime Admiral Thrawn would make a fantastic film series, while still featuring all the old familiar names.

    1. BigAndos

      Re: Why conjure up a host of new characters no-one cares about?

      Yeah, those books were excellent! Kevin J Anderson did a good series as well, "Jedi Academy" which would provide a natural way to introduce new characters.

  7. Mike Brown

    One of the really good things about he disney/lucas stuff is that ive started reading Heir to the Empire again. That Thrawn, such a sneaky chap.

    1. Rob

      Books

      It would be nice if the newer films carried on with the books that pick up where Return of the Jedi left off. I've read a few and they extend the universe nicely.

      Might be time to add them to my Kindle list now you mention it.

  8. Eponymous Cowherd
    Happy

    Kick Ass....

    director Matthew Vaughn has also been associated with this.

    Now, a Star Wars episode along the lines of Kick Ass or Layer Cake has some promise.

  9. Miek

    "and Steven Spielberg have declared that they will not direct a Disney Star Wars," --Still waiting for the day that Spielberg gives up ruining good adult stories with family-focussed movie direction.

    1. Jayml

      I just replied that to the same effect. Star wars with Speilberg , probably would have an ewok as the leading character. I mean AI . ... Wow.

    2. Mark C Casey

      Yeah, I couldn't believe all the guns that got replaced with walkie talkies in Schindlers List!

  10. Tempest8008
    Thumb Up

    JOSS WHEDON!

    JOSS WHEDON!

  11. Arctic fox
    Trollface

    As long as they show Jar-Jar-Binks being evicerated.............

    ...................very, very slowly I will be content.

    1. Eponymous Cowherd
      Thumb Up

      Re: As long as they show Jar-Jar-Binks being evicerated.............

      DIY:-

      A subtle editing of scenes from Phantom Menace and Braveheart should do it.

    2. Efros
      Joke

      Re: As long as they show Jar-Jar-Binks being evicerated.............

      Jar-Jar snuff movies will be very popular, Jar-Jar gets donkey punched by a Rancor is one that would be a suitable short for the discerning viewer.

      1. Rick Giles
        Coffee/keyboard

        @Efros Re: As long as they show Jar-Jar-Binks being evicerated.............

        ...Jar-Jar gets donkey punched by a Rancor...

        You sir, owe me a keyboard!

    3. Vic

      Re: As long as they show Jar-Jar-Binks being evicerated.............

      > I will be content.

      There used to be a good Jar Jar scene on asciimation - I'm not sure if it's still there because it doesn't seem to work from where I am right now...

      Vic.

  12. Silverburn
    Joke

    Lets all do the hotdog dance!

    ...with light sabres!

    And if you know what the hotdog dance is...you are officially in hell, and you have my condolences.

    1. Rob
      Unhappy

      Re: Lets all do the hotdog dance!

      Thankyou - thanks to my 3yr old son I have been suffering from heat exhaustion for at least 3 months now.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

    Which of course will also feature lots of singing and dancing.

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

      Gungan Style ?

    2. sisk Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

      What kind of sick, twisted minds do you two have to inflict such ideas on people.

      Oppan Gungan Style....sheesh. What's the world coming to?

      1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

        I'm sorry....I'm so, so sorry....

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QVGXxQnsm4

  14. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    JJ Abrams

    ".....he thinks he'll be going to Star Wars "as a paying moviegoer"."

    Ah, preorders. That's encouraging for Disney.

    1. LDS Silver badge

      JJ Abrams: the author of that ST reboot called "morons in space"?

      Guess Lucas made enough damage to SW - if the add JJ Abrams they're dead. What life did he pump into ST? Those of some morons appealing to actual earthly ones? The whole problem of sci-fi it has good writers today - just people like Abrams who think they are very clever guys when they don't have a clue about readl *sci*-fi actually. Some games have better scripts.

  15. Caltharian

    Unfortunately

    it has been reported that the beardy one himself will still be involved as the producer, this does not bode well.....

    1. AbortRetryFail

      Re: Unfortunately

      But, with any luck, he can hopefully be overruled.

    2. Atonnis
      Stop

      Re: Unfortunately

      I read that Lucas will be involved as a creative consultant, nothing more.

      Remember that Lucas said he was retiring from making 'big' movies as he was sick of the negativity and drama. Instead, he's focussing more on independent productions.

  16. frank ly Silver badge

    For an alternative analysis ....

    ... see South Park season: 16 episode:14; available from 'various sources' since last Thursday morning.

  17. IO-IO
    Facepalm

    oh dear

    to stupidity and beyond!

  18. WonkoTheSane
    Alert

    I feel a great disturbance in The Force...

    As if "Jar Jar - the Musical" was coming soon.

  19. Ryan 7
    Boffin

    So... less "Star Wars: Volume VII",

    and more "Star Wars 2: Volume I". Maybe this time it will be proper sci-fi rather than bland fantasy-in-space (although the Spielberg comments would seem to rule that out).

  20. Nev Silver badge
    Trollface

    Wouldn't ...

    "Caravan Of Courage II" be more up Disney's street?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just need to call in the Dr Who team .... they seem to have mastered the technique for discovering an even more ultimate evil enemy that no-one had seen before (but was always there) just after the last most ultimate evil enemy has been permantnely destroyed.

  22. LesC
    FAIL

    Sci - fi for Tom Cruise. That'll be Ai! Pedrito! then.

    Seriously now:

    The Jedi of Waverley Place

    Annakin Montana

    The Suite Life On The Death Star

    My Babysitter's a Jedi Knight

    101 Ewoks

    So Darkside!

    ...etc etc

    LC

    1. Thomas 4

      Not all bad suggestions

      I'm sure "Annakin Montana" would be considerably less of a whiny girl than the version we got.

  23. TRT Silver badge

    Fresh Darth of Bespin.

    PS... the only made the *spit* prequels to make ROTJ look better. I tried to watch it again this weekend... couldn't manage it. I mean, what's the point of wearing forest DPM and dragging a shiny golden droid with light up eyes along in your party? Has no-one ever heard of spray paint in that universe?

    1. Lamont Cranston
      Happy

      Don't enjoy watching Ewoks beating on Stormtroopers?

      Congratulations, you are now too old to enjoy RotJ, and can move on to something more age appropriate. Deal with it, internet.

      The prequels turned out shit because Lucas was trying to flog a kids film to adults (kids don't want to watch senate debates, adults don't want to watch Jar Jar, no one, adult or child, wanted to hear about midichlorians). I'd expect Disney to be smarter than that (I don't hear anyone complaining about watching the latest Pixar/Marvel film with their kids), so my hopes are cautiously high.

    2. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

      But what is the point of chasing, then boarding a starship to retrieve stolen death-star plans instead of just blowing it up, bearing in mind that you are prepared to kill a planet-full of people just to make a point, anyway?

      What is the point of attacking a fixed line defensive position on a snow covered planet by landing slow moving walking(!) tanks miles away from the enemy?

      Why would you position your shiny new death-star on on an orbit around a giant planet on the opposite side from the moon you want to destroy and so that it will take hours until you will gain a line of fire on it?

      Why would automated weapons on capital ships miss 99% of their shots at not-so-fast not-so-maneuvering "fighters"?

      Forgetting to camouflage a robot is a totally insignificant minor flaw comparing to other gaping SW plot holes...

      1. Vic

        Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

        > Why would automated weapons on capital ships miss 99% of their shots

        "Where did they go?"

        "There they are. They're listing lazily to the left. Go left! Left! Boy, this guy knows some maneuvers."

        Vic.

      2. Gaius
        Boffin

        Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

        "What is the point of attacking a fixed line defensive position on a snow covered planet by landing slow moving walking(!) tanks miles away from the enemy?"

        To be fair that one is explained in the movie - they had to attack under the energy shield the rebels were projecting above their base.

      3. mickey mouse the fith

        Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

        And why do all the spaceships bank and turn like they were flying in an atmosphere?

        Why would a sonic mine work in space?

        Why didnt the empire just fire a nuke from one of the atats instead of, as you say, meandering slowly towards the enemy's guns firing infective laser bursts.

        Also, why design a towering war machine, but only have guns on the front with a very narrow firing radius?

        As for this, I have high hopes, Disney have produced some cracking films over the years. The only way they could fuck it up is if they made it too lighthearted, family friendly and whimsical or another eastenders in space style snooze-fest like the prequels.

        1. TRT Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

          Ack. More holes than the Death Star V2.0

        2. Lord Midas
          Black Helicopters

          Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

          When the Death Star appeared at Yavin, why wait half an hour for Yavin 4 to come into view? They couldve just blown Yavin to pieces, then simply shot Yavin 4. Would've taken a couple of minutes. Job done.

          I think I've seen this in Star Wars: How It Should Have Ended

          1. mickey mouse the fith

            Re: Fresh Darth of Bespin.

            Also, in TESB they have ftl propulsion so they could have just chucked loads of relativistic velocity large mass missiles pretty much anywhere. They could have incinerated Hoth and the rebellion without putting boots on the ground. Shield generators around a tiny area wouldn't be much help if the entire planet is mega-nuked.

            My version of the empire strikes back goes like this:

            Darth: "Those bastard rebels are on that snowy planet"

            [presses button]

            Planet explodes as a million megatons hit it.

            Darth: "not anymore, fancy a brew?"

  24. Dave Harris

    +1 for Joss Whedon

    I'd go for Joss Whedon as director.

    Also, my main interest is that they get the politics right, or at least plausible. I say that knowing nothing about the post RotJ canon, I'll admit, but the Republic to Senate scenario, mirroring Rome, was excellently done, even in the prequels.

  25. ISYS
    Go

    Voice Actor

    Does this mean John Ratzenberger will be voicing some of the characters - like he does in every other Disney film made in the last 10 years?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not really related, but...

    Q: What's the internal temperature of a ton-ton?

    A: Luke warm.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You had me at "Tom Cruise" ;)

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If Star Wars Seven was set 40 years after the defeat of the Empire with Carrie Fisher as a drunken has-been Princess and Harrison Ford as her faded-lothario serial-cheating abusive partner I don't much care what the rest of the plot might contain (though it seems implausible GIANT CGI couldn't be squeezed in somewhere) because I and a great numbers of fellow earthlings would be buying tickets like they invented 3D again!

  29. chris lively
    Facepalm

    I've read a bunch of the books but they were all lacking a crucial detail: an epic struggle.

    1-3: can be summed up as the downward slide of a government into an empire.

    4-6: rebellion against, and destruction of, the empire that took its place.

    7-9: ???

    What could they possibly do? The Thrawn series was pretty good writing but the story was ultimately nothing more than cleanup of "minor" dictators by iterating the same story, on a smaller scale. Same with most of the other books in the series.

    There's not really any more story to tell. So I'll sum up what's likely to happen:

    7 - Leia has kids. Kids are kidnapped, found and lots of things go boom. Cute cuddly sidekick introduced to help them. Along the way grandma is found and is instrumental in saving the kids.

    8 - grandma is really a clone. Han wins award for having the first truly Evil mother in-law. of course, the kids thinks she is pretty cool and follow her on "adventures". They are now teenagers. Grandma takes over galaxy.

    9 - Kids are now mid twenty something's. Overthrow evil grandma. The galaxy is saved. Again.

    There, I just saved each of you around $200 in movie tickets, merchandise and god knows how much time.

  30. Madboater

    Disney have picked up their game of late

    So lets hope they can pull this off. I think they need to leave the Skywalker years behind them and pick another point in the Galaxy History (or redo the Skywalker saga from the beginning, but not sure anyone wants that), hopefully one with a little more kick-ass and a little less politics. Despite Jar-Jar and other Episode 1-3 mistakes, the light saber action was way cooler then in the original movies.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What else from my childhood....

    ... can Hollywood rape?

    Star Trek - now with "younger, edgier" characters (and more plot holes than a colander), plus the abominations that were the last season of the last TV show.

    Star Wars - that taun-taun has already been beaten to death on this forum.

    Tron - It might have been nice if the person who did the sequel had maybe seen the first movie? and if the motivations of the main characters had made a bit more sense? and could it hurt to have some actual in-jokes for computer nerds, like the first movie?

    Starship Troopers - couldn't have been any more antithetical to the books if they'd tried.

    Speed Racer.... no. just no.

    I suppose I should be thankful that Hollywood has not yet gone after Space:1999, Salvage 1, or Wizards.

    Yet.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Its just the kids....with old folks watching from their rocking chairs.

      there just going to jump 20-30 years on do the kids stories....Anakin Solo note Solo gets killed. There's a big fight between the other brother is the new sith and jedi sister, she save him by killing him and he's good again but ghostly. Then its the grandkids-story for 11,12,13....Light and Dark then Light then Dark....oh its such a roller-coaster, who bets the good guys win again. There will be an aging Wookie going BAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!

    2. Eponymous Cowherd
      Unhappy

      Re: What else from my childhood....

      You forgot the Disney treatment of John Carter, or David Lynch's Dune.

      Oh, and lets not forget Pochahontas meets the giant mutant space Smurfs......

  32. Rexx

    They've released the title already

    It's going to be called:

    Star Wars VII: In Search of $4.05 Billion

  33. Sold1eR

    Star wars has a very long story.. Thousands of years:

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_galactic_history

    The Battle of Endor happened in 4ABY......

    By 10 ABY ....

    The Galactic Empire recaptures Coruscant, but splinters into two factions

    &

    The Empire is brought back under Sith rule when Emperor Palpatine is reborn in a clone body and makes Luke Skywalker his second in command. However Luke turns against him and kills Palpatine with Leia and destroys his flagship Eclipse.

    I could post it all after that, but is better if people just click the timeline link and read it, because I can't be bothered

  34. Lord Midas
    Pint

    Whiney forums

    Controversy:

    I liked all the Star Wars films (except for JarJar, Ewoks, Middleclorines (or wherever), and Anakin (what a twat)). Great mongy films.

    I thought Star Trek was the most exciting and best film of 2009. Just brilliant. Enough of the plot hole bollocks and just enjoy the bloody thing. That shit up there on that screen is well enjoyable.

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