back to article Windows 8, Surface slabs ALREADY need critical security patch

Microsoft will release critical updates for Windows 8 and other software on November's Patch Tuesday next week. The upgrades will arrive within weeks of the Win 8 launch at the end of last month. All supported versions of the Windows operating system from XP SP3 up to and including Windows 8 and Windows Server 2012 will need …

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  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    FAIL

    Not only windows 8

    I installed Server 2012 in a VM a few days ago. The first update was 165Mb.

    Clearly unfinished software to have that amount of patching so soon after GA.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy days

    I was getting anxious without my patch Tuesdays!

    What a relief that my job is justified. I can now issue a strong buy recommendation for Surface tablets.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not only windows 8

      You'd rather they stop updating it in the months after it gets released to manufacturing? Not sure I understand your point here. Patches doesn't mean unfinished. Which part of server 2012 seems broken to you?

      Anon because I'm a shill

    2. Erwin Hofmann
      Unhappy

      Re: Not only windows 8

      ... I agree, this is "clearly unfinished software" ... when I run Windows 8 all desktop icons look like oversized wall tiles ... and the start button has vanished too ...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it me but...

    Does the use of capitals in The Register's articles grate, it just looks a bit too Daily Mail to me.

    "Queen gets sick due to BENEFIT CLAIMANTS"

    "Prince Diana memorial trashed by IMMIGRANT, possibly..."

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Is it me but...

      Less the Daily Mail, more like The New York Post or The Sun. The Mail Online and its print cousin rarely use screaming caps.

      We use them to make particular stories stand out. Eg: prototype keyboard app for iPhones? No need. New operating system insecurities? Sure, why not.

      C.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Is it me but...

        THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO ADD A 'CLICK IF YOU ARE A SUN READER' BUTTON... OR BETTER STILL ADD A 'SUN-ALIZE' BUTTON THAT TRANSLATES THE ENTIRE SITE INTO SHOUTY MURDOCH-SPEAK

        h3CK, y N0t aDd l33Tz H4X0r 5h1Te t0 uR @rT1cL3Z 0n hAck1Ng?

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        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Is it me but...

          OMG... Reply to self re: Sun-alize... It's still going after so many years. Who'd have thought:

          Pornalized article

          Still hilarious even after more than a decade and then some!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Is it me but...

        Please can we have The Register Page 3 then?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Is it me but...

          "This is Amiga 500, flashing her Agnus and Paula, she was from Grays, Essex and would like world peace."

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Is it me but...

            Surely her "fatter Agnus"? Imagine the horror when people notice that she also has a Gary... a little too edgy for some folks.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Thumb Up

            Re: Is it me but...

            Agnus, ew yeah. She was the one with the large blits. Paula on the other hand just induced floppy disc syndrome and made lots of noise about it.

            But I for one approve of this type of porn and look forward to the super model crays with the flaps slightly parted.

        2. TeeCee Gold badge
          Coat

          Re: Is it me but...

          Just bash "Eee PC girl" into the search box.....

  4. Test Man
    Thumb Down

    "WINDOWS 8, SURFACE SLABS ALREADY NEED CRITICAL SECURITY PATCH"

    Bit like iOS 6 on iPads then.

    1. dogged

      Apple kit is perfect and never needs patching! And it doesn't get viruses!

      I know this because the commentards told me so.

      1. Anal Leakage

        So Google wants all that malware in the Play store?

        1. Spearchucker Jones

          They already have it. What Google want is for no one to mention their name when anyone discusses patching.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Its good, not bad!

    Sorry, but its a good thing. 'dows does security, takes it seriously, regular patching which for most users is seamless!

    Slackle's lone wolf approach to secuirty will bite it in the rear.........

  6. Arctic fox
    Thumb Up

    "Fondletops"

    See icon.

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: "Fondletops"

      Just what I came here to say as well.

      Although for some reason I also now can't get the mental image of Essex girls out of my mind.

      Someone pass the brain-bleach please.

    2. Euripides Pants Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: "Fondletops"

      Why not "lapslab"?

  7. Paul_Murphy

    Thanks for letting me know.

    I'll wait for the first service pack before migrating though.

    hmmm - when is that due??

    ttfn

  8. cyberdemon
    Coffee/keyboard

    I just spat out my instant noodle

    Remote code execution vulnerabilities in Word, Excel et al?

    Did I read that right? Why does Office even need to connect to the interwebs, let alone open ports?

    1. richardcox13
      Boffin

      Re: I just spat out my instant noodle

      Remote code includes documents received from other parties.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I just spat out my instant noodle

        Besides, lot's of Excel files connect to external data sources such RDBMSs.

        OP seems to be the typical user that could use one of those extremely cut down spreadsheets...

    2. Lee Dowling Silver badge

      Re: I just spat out my instant noodle

      Have you been asleep since the 1990's?

      Yeah, it's a stupid idea to let Office touch the Internet. And yeah, Office has done this since the first versions that ran on Windows 95. It's not hard to make Office run off to the web to collect some part of a file you've downloaded and it's only a short step to make it compromise itself from there (because there's ALWAYS a whole it how it handles or verifies that data).

      Hell, I hacked the school network when I was a kid by using Office macros to bypass Windows explorer restrictions on drive letters and program execution. Was but the work of a moment to demonstrate to my IT teacher (who stupidly told us to "try to hack the network, it's good education, but you won't be able to") that the document he'd just accepted from me and commented on had actually used his credentials temporarily to upgrade my account to a network admin. It was only because I told him that he ever knew, and only because I was honest that I didn't get into trouble. And the next day, I was invited to the IT Office to show them what I'd done and the program I'd wrote to stop it doing just that.

      It's probably not *that* easy any more but all you have to do is get Office to try to load remote data and you have the potential for an exploit by feeding it corrupt data. It does that for everything from clipart, to form-filling, to hyperlinks, to embedded images, to macros, to online collaboration.

  9. MarkL
    FAIL

    Not news

    This really isn't news. Windows, just like EVERY (see what I did with capitals there) other operating system out there, does not get completely re-written from the ground up with each release, so it makes sense that many vulnerabilities that are discovered in Windows affect a whole range of different releases.

    Microsoft should be applauded for their approach to regular, predictable patch management.

    As for Windows 8 & RT, it's largely already been acknowledged (even in The Register, if only grudgingly so) that Windows 8 makes further strides forward in terms of OS security.

    This is yet another example of The Register just bashing Windows 8 for the sake of it. Extra marks taken off for trying to specifically tie this to the Surface. This is hardly objective, and is really demonstrating a heavy bias in your reporting that is going to start turning people off.

    1. Anal Leakage

      Re: Not news

      Google and Samsung can do no wrong!

    2. .thalamus
      Thumb Up

      Re: Not news

      Hear hear.

      Every article on Windows 8 in The Register recently has been full of hate, bias and unobjective bullshit twisted to make Windows 8 look bad.

      It's getting very dull and predictable, much like the fucking use of the 'fondleslab' word. Think of something new ffs.

  10. Goat Jam
    Windows

    "All supported versions of the Windows operating system from XP SP3 up to and including Windows 8 and Windows Server 2012 will need patching to close three security holes"

    Umm, hold on, were we not told by his sweatiness (or one of his minions) that Win8 was "rewritten from the ground up"?

    How can one reconcile that claim with Windows 8 sharing bugs with an incrementally upgraded OS who's genesis can be traced back to the mid 90's?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Err...

      It may well have been re-written from the ground up, if they've re-written something which complies to the same specification and merely optimised it, it is entirely possible that the vulnerability is inherent in how the system has been specified rather than the actual code itself.

      1. Goat Jam

        Re: Err...

        " if they've re-written something which complies to the same specification and merely optimised it, it is entirely possible that the vulnerability is inherent in how the system has been specified rather than the actual code itself."

        Why did you use so many words when "they used copy-paste a lot" would have sufficed?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "told by his sweatiness..."

      I'm sure that you know the answer but all the same - HE TELLS PORKIES !

    3. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      @Goat Jam

      ...Win8 was "rewritten from the ground up.. How can one reconcile that claim with Windows 8 sharing bugs with an incrementally upgraded OS who's genesis can be traced back to the mid 90's?

      In the same manner Windows NT (New Technology) was named to sound innovative and Windows 2000 was based on "NT Technology" to sound stable and established: someone simply makes the claim. If the goal is simply to affect perception, then there is no need to be overly concerned with facts.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm confused

    RICHTO told us that all of this was totally "secure". What possible reason would he have to lie to us like that? Shurely shome mishtake?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm confused

      "RICHTO told us that all of this was totally "secure""

      You're right - he did- I was there !

      Remember though it's a FACT that he is the most downvoted poster given his short history

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm confused

        "Remember though it's a FACT that he is the most downvoted poster given his short history"

        Really? More than "Obviously!"? If you're right, then that's pretty scary.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm confused

        Oh.. and "Joerg", didn't he break 200 downvotes on a single turdspurt recently? We should lock all three in a room and film it for telly..

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SNAFU for all OS's

    Damn you register - If I wasn't paying attention here I wouldn't haver known there was an update

    https://www.suse.com/support/update/

    Sorry wrong OS

    Security Updates - happens to all OS's where the "vendor" is somewhat serious about addressing problems (Seriously addressing security problems costs too much in hiring BFOH's and their cattle-prods)

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