back to article LOHAN slips BRA over BOOBIES in ballocket backronym buffoonery

Our invitation to readers to come up with a snappy acronym/backronym for our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission's electronic control board appears to have awoken the sniggering schoolboy inside some of you. Special Projects Bureau tradition dictates that we have an entertaining moniker for our endeavours, …

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  1. Dr. Mouse Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    "Despite appearances to the contrary, we do maintain some standards of nomenclatural decorum, so the following suggestions for LOHAN's beating electronic heart won't be making the short-list for the final public vote"

    BOOOOOO(bies)!

    My vote's still for BRA. Nothing offensive about that, it's a piece of clothing.

  2. bill 36
    Happy

    try this

    Fully

    Automated

    Nautical

    Barometric

    Orbital

    Ignition

    System

    cos they should be fired into space as well

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: FIRECROTCH?

      Firing,

      Ignition, and

      Release

      Electronic

      Control

      -

      Radiosonde

      Optimized

      Trigger

      Check

      Hierarchy

  4. DJO Silver badge

    Or maybe this:

    Transatmospheric

    Ignition

    Timing

    System

    or

    Stratosphere

    Launch

    Assembly

    Gizmo

  5. Miek
    Linux

    "Online Real-time GPS-based Altitude Sensor Module and Ignition Controller " -- I know you said it won't do, but my vote rests here.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    How about.....

    Flight Instigating Rocket Electronics. (FIRE)

  7. mahood
    Holmes

    Control Of Key Electronics

    Or if that's too subtle, Control Of Critical Aeronautical Internal Navigation Electronics

  8. Ottman001
    Coat

    "and the honour of accompanying LOHAN to the stratosphere"...

    Vulture Ignition Board, Releases Autonomously Toy On Rocket?

    Oh, right... coat.

  9. Velv Silver badge
    Go

    So I don't (yet) have the answer, but it really should be ...

    LINDSAY

  10. Harvey Trowell

    Backronym

    Ignition Management PLatform Alleviating Nasty Terrestrial Scorching

  11. Pypes
    Thumb Up

    G.I.N.G.E.R.

    G.p.s. Inferred Navigation for Geo Egress Rockety

    1. Pypes
      Thumb Up

      Re: G.I.N.G.E.R.

      or...

      Fairly Intelligent Release Electronics for Balloon Orbiter Experiments.

      F.I.R.E.B.O.X.

  12. JonP
    Mushroom

    possibly too sutble...

    Height

    Enabled

    Rocket

    Balloon

    Ignition

    Electronics

  13. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    PORNSTAR

    Portable

    Orbit

    Radio

    Navigation and

    Safety

    Trigger

    Altitude

    Release

  14. Pooka
    Coat

    Oooo... can I have a go please?

    Failsafe

    Unified

    Navigation (and)

    Bariometric

    Activitated

    Go

    System

    I'm on my way....

  15. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    LOHAN has NIPPLES

    Navigation and

    Interlock for

    Premature

    Pyrotechnic

    Launch

    Elimination

    System

  16. Fraser B

    Project has got the X--Factor

    Three-Axis

    Ublox-based

    Location &

    Ignition

    System

    Assembly.

  17. tttonyyy
    Alert

    HARD - High Altitude Radiometrix Device

    Pop that in your LOHAN

  18. Verscheure
    Coat

    Timed

    Window

    Altitude

    Trigger

    (System)

  19. Mace Ventura

    High Altitude Ballistic Ignition Trinket

    Not the religious type ...

    1. Euripides Pants Silver badge

      Re: High Altitude Ballistic Ignition Trinket

      But she did wear one in Machete.

  20. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    And finally WETPATCH

    Wireless

    Electronic

    Telemetry

    Pyrotechnic

    Automatic

    Test and

    Control

    Hub

  21. Verscheure
    Go

    more civilized

    crucial

    orbital

    ignition

    trigger

    unmanned

    system

    needs some work, but a good start I think

  22. johnB

    HARRIS TWEED

    High

    Altitude

    Rocket

    Release

    Ignition

    System

    To

    Watch over

    Electronic

    Events in

    Deep space

  23. Colin Miller

    Probably won't get past ElReg's censors, but

    critical 'leccy instigated trigger of rocket ignition system

  24. Ged T
    Alert

    Given its the "brain", High Ignition Launch and Time Out Neurocranium?

    HILTON still works and it often follows PARIS....

  25. Sequin

    Controls

    Orbiter

    Kinetic

    Engine

    Height

    Enabled

    Activation

    Device

  26. Geoff May

    PARENT TRAP?

    Predetermined

    Altitude

    Reliability of

    Electronic

    Network

    Test for

    Tethered

    Rocket

    Apparatus

    Project

  27. Eugene Crosser

    umm,

    Location-aware Ignition aNd Disposal System & Aerial Yakker

    ?

  28. fawlty
    Paris Hilton

    V. Tempting to upvote all of the inappropriativity above however...

    Satellite-

    Instigated

    LOHAN

    Ignition

    Circuit

    Organised (by)

    Neil (and Anthony)

    << Paris, to help encourage further NSFW interpretations.

  29. Colin Miller

    I couldn't think of suitable word for "Y", so I'm putting this up for discussion

    Leccy

    INitated

    Detachment

    System

    At

    Ionosphere

  30. Ikoth
    Go

    BINT

    Brain

    Instrumentation

    Navigation

    Telemetry

  31. TeeCee Gold badge

    LOHAN

    Autocontrol

    System to

    Handle

    Unexpected

    Problems

  32. Haku
    Coat

    Awesome

    Publicity

    Project

    Leaving

    Earth

    1. Pooka

      That's begging for a SueBall if ever I saw one....

    2. Fatman Silver badge

      Really??

      No doubt that you will be hearing from their solicitors soon.

  33. TRT Silver badge

    Main

    Aeronautic

    Control and

    Acquisition

    Board /

    Release

    Electronics.

    Although Haku's APPLE might refer to the whole system, the main board would be the APPLE CORE.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      COntrol and Release Electronics

  34. Ottman001

    KNICKERS

    Kit Necessary for Intentional and Controlled Kinketic Energy Release System

    EJECT

    Explosive Jetison Entrusted to Computer Technology

    JAILBIRD

    Jetison At Incredible Level Brilliantly Ingenious Rocket Device

    DUI

    Deny Unintended Ignition

    My boss, if he knew, would not thank El Reg for the time spent on this. :)

    1. Ottman001

      *Kinetic.

      Oops, a spelling mistake. 'Kinketic' energy might be a whole different thing entirely and releasing that could distract our playmonaut friend at a highly inopportune moment.

  35. nsld
    Coat

    Boner

    Ballistic

    Onboard

    Navigation

    Electronic

    Release

  36. Roger Greenwood

    Launched by PLEB?

    Pyrotechnic

    Launch

    Electronics

    Binnacle

  37. Z80

    DAFT COW

    Danger Abating Firing Timer Controlling Orbiter's Whoooooshhhh!

  38. FatGerman

    Not the board itself,

    ..but I'm sure it would be best housed in a Spaceplane Launcher Utility Turret

  39. Swedish Chef
    Paris Hilton

    Automated

    Ignition of

    Rocket in

    High-altitude

    Experimental

    Airborne

    Device?

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where would Lohan be without...

    Programmable

    Unit for

    Ballocket

    Liftoff

    Ignition and

    Climb

    Into

    The wild blue

    Yonder

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Control

    Unit

    Nebulous

    Transfer

    System

  42. Phil E Succour
    Pint

    I guess "Controller Utilised in Near Troposphere" is out of the question then?

    So how about SPEARS - Special Project Electronics Altitude Release System?

    TGI Friday...

  43. DogTrack

    ALICE

    Altitude Launch Ignition Control Engine

  44. bill 36
    Happy

    or how about

    Satellite

    Located

    Altitude &

    Positioning

    P.C.B. for

    Ejaculative

    Release

    Well it is LOHAN

  45. VinceH Silver badge

    Altitude Release SystEm (ARSE)

  46. Peter 55
    Happy

    SPEARS

    System for Practical and Electronical Altitude Recognition Services

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This being LOHAN...

    What about

    Control Rocket Altitude Confirming Kosher (CRACK)

    Mission Electronics Trimming Hazard (METH)

    Deploy Rocket Under Good Situations (DRUGS)

  48. Z80

    MACHETE

    Microprocessor Activated Control Hardware Ensuring Timely Ejection

    http://uk.imdb.com/character/ch0177472/

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BIC.URI.OUS

    Balloon

    In-flight

    Control

    -

    Universal

    Release and

    Ignition

    -

    low-Orbit

    bUreau

    Sender vehicle

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: BICURIOUS

      Balloon In-flight Control Unit for the Release and Ignition into low-Orbit of the bUreau Spacecraft

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    B.A.C.

    Balloon

    Assist and

    Control unit

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: B.A.C.

      Ballocket

      Assist and

      Control unit

  51. Another Peter Lloyd
    Happy

    Has anybody come up with...

    Altitude

    Initiated

    Rocket

    Blast

    Activation

    Gizmo

  52. Mike Westmacott 1

    Well I started by thinking about LOHAN's Multitasking Instrumentation Node for Geospatial Exploration, but suspect, and counter to public opinion/knowledge, that it's too small. So in a similar vein, and based upon recent events I think a Multitasking Instrumentation System for Dynamic Exploration, Mapping, Evaluation And Notification of Orbiting Range for LOHAN wouldn't go amiss.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PROBATION

    Practical

    ROcket

    Balloon

    Atmospheric

    Transport

    Ignition and

    low-Orbit launch

    Navigator

  54. Mike Richards Silver badge

    FLASHR

    Firmware

    Location

    Altitude

    Signalling

    Hardware

    Reusable

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A few more...

    AA: Altitude Assist vehicle

    DUI: Device assisting Uplift and Ignition

    EX-CON: EXtreme altitude CONtrol unit

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A few more...

      DUI: Device for assessing Uplift and controlling Ignition

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ballistic

    Altitude

    Load

    Launch

    Systems

    Ignition

    Node

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Controlled High-Altitude Release LOHAN Ignition Electronic System

    CHARLIES

  58. Euripides Pants Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Awwww

    I really wanted to see LOHAN get the SHITS.

  59. Johnny Canuck

    launch assisted by instrument assembly

    fully autonomous instrument lash-up

    GPS assisted launcher

  60. E.

    PIPPA - more classy

    Pyro

    Ignition

    Performed at

    Precise

    Altitude

  61. Mike 140
    Mushroom

    Are you going to take this lying down?

    Never mind all this acronyming. A major upgrade to Lohan is clearly needed.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/9668659/Harvard-students-send-hamburger-into-space.html

    Bacon sarnie payload.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Phil E Succour

      Re: Are you going to take this lying down?

      Well if we need a bacon sarnie let's call the control board the

      Balloon

      Altitude

      Controller

      Operating

      Near

      Stratosphere

      After

      Relay

      Neatly

      Ignites

      Explosives

  62. TRT Silver badge

    FACEPALM

    Firing

    And

    Control

    Electronics/

    PAyload

    Launch

    Manager

  63. Gareth Speed
    Mushroom

    LOHAN BARES ALL

    Ballocket

    Atmospheric

    Release

    Enabler

    Allowing

    Lateral

    Lift-off

  64. Kobus Botes
    Flame

    Spaced out

    Special Projects Altitude Correcting Electronic Device (for) Optimal laUnch Triggering

    Tbh, the U had (has) me stumped there.

    <---- The required result

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