back to article Nobody knows what to call Microsoft's ex-Metro UI

Microsoft says it is 100 per cent committed to its new user interface (UI) design principles, as embodied in Windows 8, even though it still hasn't come up with a meaningful name for them. Speaking at the annual Build developer conference in Redmond this week, Microsoft Principal User Experience Advisor Will Tschumy said the …

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  1. Nanners

    How's about

    A square peg in a round hole symbol.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Microsoft Window™

      Seems quite obvious given that the apps can only be fullscreen.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Microsoft Window™

        I've heard it called "Modern UI" when chatting to the product manager for Server in the UK.

        ...and you can run more than one app on the screen at a time, but credit for the lulz at this hour of the morning

        1. John 62

          Re: Microsoft Window™

          Will its successor be the post-modern UI?

      2. /dev/null
        WTF?

        Re: Microsoft Window™

        If you only have one window doesn't that make it a wall?

        1. Schist

          Re: Microsoft Window™

          They look like windows....

          How about Microsoft Flag...

          Steve

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Maybe...

      The UI with no rounded corners?

      1. Esskay

        Re: Maybe...

        I was thinking perhaps something that resembled the end of a bell. Steve Ballmer's forehead, perhaps?

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. dssf
      Joke

      Re: How's about ... no...no... how about

      A "pare squeg in a hound role"?

      "A pound reg in a hair (hare) squoll"

      Roonerlism Aspert

      1. wowfood

        Re: How's about ... no...no... how about

        It's pretty obvious. These tiles are like little portholes of a kind into the application they'll run.

        So, portholes, portals. Portal UI.

        Or y'know... since portholes are a type of window, they could just call it the Windows UI.

  2. Studley

    The Interface Formerly Known As Metro

    Am I destined never to get credit for that? :( cf. 14 August 2012

    1. Hellcat

      Re: The Interface Formerly Known As Metro

      TIFKAM for sure!

      I've started using that now, and when 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' gets her Surface, going TIFKAM myself might be inevitable.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Interface Formerly Known As Metro

      You need a better trademark lawyer. There's plenty of prior art for TIFKAM.

    3. Simon_Sharwood_Reg_APAC_Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: The Interface Formerly Known As Metro

      Studley, you do indeed seem to have coined TIFKAM 9 days before I used it in this yarn http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/08/23/classic_shell_gives_windows_8_a_start_button/

      You'll have to take my word on this, but this was a Newton/Leibniz simultaneous co-invention-without-prior-Knowledge thing, but I am happy to cede the honours.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Interface Formerly Known As Metro

        I am happy to cede the honours

        Careful, he may want a fee for each usage :-)

        (Brings to mind the Newspaper Licensing Agency, a body that's trying to charge for using quotes from reviews published by a newspaper - see the current issue of Private Eye for details).

  3. AndrueC Silver badge
    WTF?

    $20bn a year? Really?

    Even if the results had been an improvement that's still a crazy amount to be spending.

    1. Burbage

      Crazy?

      The number doesn't look right to me, but I'm not a corporate accountant. Perhaps there's a good reason to spend a sum equivalent to an entire year's profit on 'research and development'.

      1. 142

        'research and development'

        Is all that profit should be spent on.

        (Especially when you've got a cash pile the size of Microsoft to cover rainy days)

        1. Hoagiebot

          Re: 'research and development'

          'research and development' Is all that profit should be spent on. (Especially when you've got a cash pile the size of Microsoft to cover rainy days)

          I don't know about that, especially since it seems like Microsoft is going to have a lot of rainy days ahead of them that they'll need that cash pile to cover. I mean lets face it-- corporations are stubbornly sticking with Windows XP or are at best in the middle of their upgrade cycle with Windows 7, so I doubt that Windows 8 and the programs being released with it such as Office 2013 are going to enjoy much corporate love. Add to that Windows 8's mixed reviews, the slowing growth of the PC market, and strong competition from Apple, Android, and even Windows 7 in the consumer market, and I have a feeling that Microsoft's "rainy day fund" is going to start shrinking rather rapidly...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They gave us 'the ribbon' - 20 billion well-earned.

      1. Scott Marshall
        Thumb Down

        The office updates "gave" us the ribbon......

        .....but will this new touchy-feely interface allow us to give Microsoft the finger?

        I am not enamoured of this new interface, especially its "split personality" modus operandi between "tiles" mode and "start/desktop" mode.

    3. 0_Flybert_0
      Coat

      considering ..

      Steve Jobs did design for $1 per year and actual business expenses

      reaching for my Galaxy SIII and I'll be on my way

    4. DougS Silver badge

      $20 billion a year - total bullshit figure

      This is probably the sum they spent on all R&D each year. That in itself is a total bullshit figure, because in the software biz, writing software counts as "R&D". If you get together a team of 10 new hires you pay $100K a year and tell them to rewrite Notepad.exe as a Metro app, you just spent $1 million on "R&D".

      As a result it is rather difficult to tell what any company that does a lot of software (Microsoft, Apple, Google, et al) actually spends on what we think of as R&D - investigating some new product ideas, reinventing an extra product category, or doing the kind of basic research that led to the transistor. If Microsoft increases its R&D budget by 50% does it mean there should be some innovative new products coming in a few years? Or does it just mean they've increased the size of the Windows and Office dev teams by 50%? We have no idea.

      1. crashtest
        Stop

        Re: $20 billion a year - total bullshit figure

        It might be easier if you think of IT research as the development of new building blocks. Thus porting notepad to a new although pre-developed UI is not research. Example of research would be a notepad app, where you can type without using the keyboard.

  4. Simon Lyon

    Go with TIFKAM, with a standard cut'n'paste bootnote and graphic, or ...

    ... just keep calling it Metro. Everyone I know does.

    Personally though I'd go with Vista 2.0.

  5. Len Goddard

    The Fisher Price Playblock Interface (Fippy for short).

    1. dssf

      TAUI

      Toss Across User Interface

  6. David Webb

    I was uninstalling VS2012 Ultimate RC and managed to snag a screenshot which states...

    "Windows Software Development Kit for Metro style Apps"

    So if we can't call it Metro, lets call it Metro style?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Robert E A Harvey

      Too long. Abbreviate. MeSy

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. David Webb
        Trollface

        I had to come back and post, a nightmare scenario popped up in to my head. Steve Balmer singing the Metro Style song to the tune of Gungam Style...... ARGHHHHH..... just had to come put that thought into your head... happy Halloween........ MWAHAHAHAHAHA /coff

        1. asdf Silver badge
          FAIL

          >Gungam Style

          Wow that was a waste of a google search. Nothing to see hear but a mega geek with who doesn't listen to real music like normal people (dude stick to Pink Floyd references or something).

          1. David Webb

            You had to google Gungam Style? Even I know about that song and my preference is for a band called AKB48 (who you should google, especially 【PV】 ヘビーローテーション / AKB48 [公式] hehehe - top tip, that video is much better if you turn the sound off......... ;)

          2. DJ Smiley
            FAIL

            You sir are the one who failed.

            Definition of fail:

            Calling out someone as a geek for knowing the No1. charting song in the UK when you can't even name it yourself.

            1. asdf Silver badge

              Re: You sir are the one who failed.

              Yeah must be mostly a UK thing as that meme didn't make it across the pond. Probably because most Americans prefer memes that are crude or put somebody down (lol teabagging).

    4. Studley

      Metro is also still pretty pervasive in the official Windows 8 UX Guidelines (available as a PDF download at the top of this page) which refers to "Metro style apps" throughout.

  7. Tom Maddox Silver badge
    Coat

    My vote . . .

    BOHICA

    Mine's the one with the jar of lubricant.

  8. asdf Silver badge
    FAIL

    iirc

    The reason Microsoft suddenly dropped the Metro name is because somebody approached them with a copyright on it. With all the azzhat lawyers ready to sue its no surprise they have to use a convoluted meaningless phrase though granted nobody does convoluted like Microsoft.

    1. Michael Jennings

      Re: iirc

      My understanding is that it was Metro AG, Germany's largest retailer and the fifth largest in the world. A very large company indeed, but a company that does not operate in the US, probably due to the strength of Wal-Mart. Microsoft didn't do their due diligence before choosing the name in the first place, I would tend to think.

      1. Robert E A Harvey

        Germans

        Interstingly they did not approach M$ until quite late.

        My view is that they would have gone along with it had the wretched thing shown promise, but when they saw what a turkey it was decided "We don't want any of this on us" and unleashed the lawyers.

  9. Big-nosed Pengie

    How about

    "shite"?

    1. Lars Silver badge

      Re: How about

      or "fail"

      1. dssf
        Joke

        Re: How about SHALE?

        If it is shite, and if it will fail, and if it is black and blue, then BL2Shale..... (yeh, very crude attempt, hahaha)

  10. PaulR79

    Duplo8

    I'm a fan of Duplo8. It makes as much sense as Metro / not Metro, TIFKAM, and certainly fits with the spirit of Duplo by using GIANT COLOURED SHAPES AIMED AT GETTING YOUR ATTENTION with just as much, if not more.

    1. PaulR79
      Facepalm

      Re: Duplo8 - missing words

      Just as much use, if not more.

      *Oh how I long for an edit feature, at least within the first X minutes of posting something.

    2. ratfox Silver badge

      Re: Duplo8

      Good idea, but I think you will find that Duplo is very much a trademark…

      Why don't they just call it the Tile interface?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Duplo is very much a trademark

        how about Duplic8 then?

        1. Nigel 11
          Coat

          Re: Duplo is very much a trademark

          Duplocity?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about "Hubris"?

    Seems to fit quite well.

  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Holmes

    Exactly comrade. I would even say more...

    "The Microsoft design principles are the overall set of principles that are driving the Windows 8 Store applications."

    A more bizarre and meaningless phrase couldn't be uttered by a lifelong scholar of Hegelian Dialectic Materialism As Applied To Marxism/Leninism who needs to say exactly what needs to be said lest he be put on the passenger list of a train to a re-education institution.

  13. Simon Lyon

    How about the "Win8 Phone Interface"?

    Lampshading the fact that it may or may not be something that works for smartphones/fondleslabs but whoever greenlighted it for a desktop/laptop OS needs their meds adjusted stat!

  14. hitmouse

    Utero, as it's been released prematurely.

  15. ShelLuser
    Joke

    What to call it?

    "Broken".

  16. Fink-Nottle

    Honouring the past ...

    How about a name that captures the 'magic' of previous versions of Windows?

    Something like Blue Square Operating Design - or BSOD for short.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Linux

      Re: Honouring the past ...

      So simple, so brilliant.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Honouring the past ...

      Square interface? Solid colours? I have to go with "Windows 3.8"...

  17. LaeMing Bronze badge
    Go

    As a former prominant Australian once (almost) said.

    "the interface we had to have"

    ...

    then again, he also said (in parliament) "Dibblebblebblebblebble". So make of that what you will.

  18. Black Plague

    Huh?

    I thought El Reg had settled on NOTro for the new name!?

  19. Ossi

    Did he really say...

    ...'we're all *pushing down* these design principles'? Says it all, really.

  20. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Proposed name for TIFKAM

    Unfinished.

    The Unfinished interface.

    Unfinished-style apps.

    Windows 8's new Unfinished UI.

    Unfinished Start...

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about...

    WeSpent8BillionOnThisMarketingCampaignAndWeDontHaveANameYet UI

    or...

    LetsFloodTheRegisterWithArticlesAboutWindows8 UI

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe it's the "Metro" bit.

    For most Anglo Saxons "Metro" conjures up images of New York, or other US cities that have something in common with UK cities.

    Given that New York is currently under water maybe Microsoft felt that wasn't an appropriate analogy?

  23. ContentsMayVary

    "Metro" makes me think of the Paris underground rather than New York...

    1. dssf

      Spechtre from the past?

      Maybe ms were worried all those Silicon Valley devs (maybe a few hundreds among thousands) who used The Metro to find some grope and ping intimacy would sully their product? Seems to come to mind that some people had to be careful when saying, "Hey, i read something interesting in The Metro last night..." and heads would swivel, some smiling, hahaha.

      So, ms probably do not want to read of "SEXTRO" articles, me thinks...

    2. Wild Bill

      Makes me think of Newcastle

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      makes me think of my mate Eds first car which was a beige pile of crap

      1. Vic

        > my mate Eds first car which was a beige pile of crap

        The 1300 Turbo engine wasn't so bad. A friend of mine had a trike built out of one...

        Vic.

  24. PabloC

    There's a commercial opportunity...

    Microsoft can co-brand Windows 8 UI with Lego...

  25. Black Plague
    Trollface

    First thing that sprung to my mind was "metrosexual"

    But I trust gay men to have a much better eye for design than Steve Sinofsky.

  26. PhilBack
    WTF?

    The Askeuo design language

    As in "Askeuomorphic as can be"

    Or "MCRWSIT" - Moving Coloured Rectangles With Stuff In Them

  27. James O'Shea Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Geez, it's obvious

    MetroSexual, MS for short. The MS MS interface. It's a natural.

    Paris 'cause she's a MS not easily MiSsed.

  28. FordPrefect
    IT Angle

    How about craptro?

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Devil

      or

      Ftumch!

  29. Simon Lyon

    Sadly for Microsoft they've already Vista'd themselves with Win8

    Vista was, in actuality, monumentally crap - but it wasn't so much its technical issues that did it in but the in-your-face failings in it's UI that destroyed it's reputation before it even got any traction.

    Microsoft can bang on from now to the heat death of the universe about how much better Win8 is from any OS they've put out before. And that may be true.

    Doesn't matter. Win8 is going to go down the u-bend because the majority of the population of this planet are going to take one look at Metro and take their new PCs back to the store and complain that it doesn't have Windows installed.

    You can experiment with smartphone UIs all you like - but normal sane individuals who aren't techies are not going to be interested in "defining new paradigms in how to interact with information technology" (or whatever other whalesong and bong-inspired nonsense got Metro built) on their PCs.

    They (and myself when I'm not working) just want to be able to simply fire up a browser, download and play videos/music, play games and edit the occasional document.

    "Live tiles" on a desktop PC are about as useful and interesting as the long forgotten and unlamented "Active Desktop".

    Vista'd - why bother with it?

  30. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    Only one accurate name

    It's BDSM, but how to pronounce it.

    1. M Gale

      Re: Only one accurate name

      Bidsum.

  31. Rombizio
    WTF?

    20 Billion for this?

    I can name at least 30 ways to improve this new UI for free. How the hell is someone spending 20 billion to get that crap?

    Anyway I suggest WTFUI

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: 20 Billion for this?

      I agree- call it WTF?

      That's what most people will say when they start to use it.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know what I call mine now, Start8.

  33. Glyph

    why all the hate?

    I've watched some videos walking through various tasks on windows 8. I think it seems quite an improvement. It looks very similar to the gnome 3 that I know and love. Wait am I allowed to mention that I like using gnome 3? Or do I have to do some sort of geek penance now?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: why all the hate?

      Yes, you do! From my (admittedly limited) experience of Win8 it, along with Gnome3 & Unity, they all blow goats to varying degrees.

      As a rule New != Better in GUIs design because the muppets who force their abominations on an already suffering world don't seem to grasp the fact that most people just want to *use* the PC to do stuff, and having to spend days of hunt-the-function because said muppet decided to hide it God-knows-where is an irritating waste of one's short life.

  34. Tristan Young

    How about calling it..... "The UI", which stands for The Unimaginative Interface.

    Or we could call it "the most boring product Microsoft has put out to date, that wasn't Windows XP or Windows 7".

    Whatever Microsoft wants to call it, it's the ugliest UI I've ever laid my eyes on. I wish Microsoft wouldn't cram crap tablet/phone UI's down desktop users throats. If I actually wanted a serious change from Windows 7 or XP, I'd switch back to Linux.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You can't have looked at that many UIs then…

      ratpoison looks pretty ugly for example.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's obvious

    The desktop interface is called Windows, and that new thing (formerly called Metro) should be called Window.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's obvious

      Or Window Pains.

  36. tony trolle
    Megaphone

    IFKAM or

    Panes

    Placement active node entry system.

    As we all know windows have to have panes......

    It's raining and my windows are crying

    You're out somewhere and I sit here dying

    Only your mem'ries remain

    Even windows have pains cause they cry when it rains

    MARTY ROBBINS - WINDOWS HAVE PAINS LYRICS

  37. Steve Brooks

    has nobody done the obvious yet and turned TIFKAM around and looked at it?

    MAKeFIT, cause we will make it fit on anything, whether or not it makes any sense!

    1. DJ Smiley

      You sir, get an upvote! :D

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Acro-monious

    How about a double barrelled acronym? One that is truly appropriate to this tiresome pursuit of a "who cares" non-existent issue!

    WABAMOT WEEJUI

    Whinged About By A Minority Of Tossers

    While Everyone Else Just Uses It

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: Acro-monious

      NUTS

      Nobody Uses This Shit.

  39. Jean-Luc Silver badge
    Trollface

    Worthwhile investments, fer sure.

    >Will Tschumy said the company has been investing heavily in design since 2003, to the tune of $20bn per year.

    >Those efforts resulted in the Office 2007 and 2010 revamps, he said,

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    p.s. I also happen to think he is talking out of his nethers when it comes to the amount, but still...

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corporate-speak

    "Microsoft is 90,000 people or so, so the fact that we're all behind this and we're all pushing down these design principles is something that's tremendously exciting"

    One man's excitement is another man's hysteria !

  41. Doug Bostrom

    "But the really cool thing about all of this is that Microsoft is 90,000 people or so, so the fact that we're all behind this and we're all pushing down these design principles is something that's tremendously exciting."

    Pretty much sums up everything wrong with the picture. Spend more time outside of the campus and don't waste those precious moments at hermetic MS events; perhaps this disastrous self-hypnosis wouldn't happen so often.

  42. dssf

    Spin in Need of a Doctor?

    "But the really cool thing about all of this is that Microsoft is 90,000 people or so, so the fact that we're all behind this and we're all pushing down these design principles is something that's tremendously exciting."

    Ms want our love, and they wanna spin right round like a record, hahahaha.

    They need a new spin doctor, or spin doctor writer...,

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not catchy but descriptive

    Skitzo.

    ===

    My Beta of 8 just decided to loose its networking capability "you need to insert the installation media" - which I can't find because I didn't think I'd need it again. I did find a Linux mint install disk and that has cured all my Wondows8 issues.

  44. Jaap stoel

    What about Gangam interface

    Just so we will have gangam style apps.

  45. adnim Silver badge

    Microsoft Runes

    How it's supposed to improve productivity for power users is a mystery.

  46. Ramazan

    Lepro

  47. Bob Vistakin
    Linux

    Microsoft SuicideNote

    Since that's how history will record it.

  48. localzuk
    Windows

    Not a huge fan of it

    Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the way the tiled interface and its apps work at the moment. For example, why does a messaging app need to be full screen? It doesn't.

    However, the new style and the new 'pizazz' in this new style is actually pretty good. Just look at the effort that's been put into their Minesweeper app! Or the weather app. Amazing compared to what they used to produce.

    So, I'm persevering, as it is the first iteration of this design style and as with everything, it will change and improve.

  49. Captain TickTock
    Trollface

    W8...

    ..for something better

  50. haloburn
    Alert

    Widneys

    Considering that it’s a cross between Windows 98 and Android they should adopt Android naming conventions, Windows Brown Fudge Dribble or go for a Glasgow slang alternative Widneys (Widney – Wouldn’t in Glasgow slang) “I widney install that if I were you”

  51. Bob Vistakin
    Linux

    TuxLunch

    For when the cloud (Google, Linux based) and mobile (Android, Linux based) converge for a snack, its time to check out who's left to laugh loudest.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who cares anyway? Microsoft are dust

  53. P. Lee Silver badge
    Alien

    Guilt by association

    Metro->city

    City->blocks (also seen on-screen)

    "Blocks" != enables

    Also, just a brief look at Prince's squiggle, I assume that its supposed to be a combination of ♂ and ♀ and a bit of something else. How very metro-sexual (I feel dirty just using that non-word).

    Perhaps we should call the UI "Prince", though I feel TIFKAM would be equally appropriate in that context.

  54. Badvok
    WTF?

    WTF?

    What was the Windows 95 new UI called? Or for that matter what was the Windows 1.0 UI called?

    Now to reveal an earth shattering concept ...

    Drum roll please ...

    ...

    How about we call the Windows 8 UI, the Windows 8 UI? Or even simpler, lets just call it Windows!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WTF?

      Windows 95 itself was codenamed "Chicago"…

  55. Bugs R Us

    How about the obvious "Windows Touch"

    Sure MS thought of this. Windows TUI (Touch UI), even sounds good.

    1. B4PJS
      Stop

      Re: How about the obvious "Windows Touch"

      Can't use TUI, it is the name of a very large Travel group.

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    hows about GLADYS

    Garish

    Loud

    Abominable

    Distracting

    Yuk

    Slates (well, Tiles are copyright of someone else apparently)

  57. yossarianuk

    I know what to call it..

    Unusable crap, design for children not work.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least no one could accuse Micro$oft of copying Apple with their steaming pile of dogs mess UI Metro

  59. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Boffin

    Competition time?

    We need a competition here, with suggestions and voting and such. If SPB-followers can come up with PARIS and LOHAN/REHAB, shirley we can have a few more backronyms to rival TIFKAM?

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They're not tiles.

    They're not subway trains.

    They're Window Panes!

    Right that's the name sussed. Now just make it optional to enable the task bar to appear when mouse cursor (but not finger) hits bottom of screen. Allow old style desktop windows to appear on top of the new Window Panes® UI and hey presto, Windows 8 SP n, or as with the finally fixed Vista lets call it the next Windows version. Of course in reality Microsofts next Windows probably will no longer have windows. Now there is a naming dilemma!

  61. rhinoceros
    Holmes

    Retro

    Since it is back to 2d flashing caleidoscopic screens that hurts your eyes and brain, like all those sites a decade ago.

  62. TheTrouser

    How about the BallmerUI?

    Loud, clumsy, in-your-face - and when you look at it you've got know idea how it got there or what it's for?

  63. CuriousChicken

    W8

    Surely that's the current wisdom? We should just W8.

    1. Nigel 11
      Coat

      Window pains, surely?

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    TIFKAM is good...

    ... but if you want something more esoteric and Redmond-friendly, what was it that M$ guy said? "Windows Eight Shop Applications" or something? There you have it - WESA! (Close enough to VESA to be subtly irritating, and more than halfway to "weasel" which is so very apt).

  65. Thomas 4

    Well...

    With Windows, you have panes of glass, so I suppose you could call it Panes.

    Because then you could have growing panes when it is first launched and it can eventually become a pane in the arse once its established.

  66. Antoinette Lacroix

    How About ?

    Stuff

    Nobody

    Asked

    For

    UI

    SNAFU

  67. Kurt S

    it's obviously a Unified Graphical Layout Interface

    or U.G.L.I. for short

  68. Phil E Succour
    Windows

    Look to the heavens for inspiration

    How about going with the astrological theme established by Samsung and their Galaxy by referring to W8 as "The Interface from Uranus"?

    Seems to sum it up nicely to me…

    1. Lance S

      Re: Look to the heavens for inspiration

      astronomical - fixed that for you

  69. Gazareth

    Notro

    Always worked for me. TIFKAM is too much of a mouthful too.

  70. Michael Hawkes
    Thumb Up

    Late to the party, but with lots of money

    They should pay Psy billions of won and call it "Gangnam style". They can have an ad with Bill Gates and/or Steve Ballmer doing the dance from the video - instant meme! Dress them as Santas for holiday sales.

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about ..

    Window Pane

  72. cordwainer 1
    Black Helicopters

    You've all failed to notice Microsoft's nefarious plot...

    "Windows 8 Store Apps" may be official, but even speakers at the BUILD Conference reverted frequently to the shorter "Windows Store Apps", as does Microsoft's own Dev Center. Those forced to say it repeatedly will, as people tend to do, shorten it further to WinStoreApps or others of that ilk.

    Microsoft knows this, of course, but has seemingly failed to provide an alternative to the original, reasonably snappy, 'Metro'.

    Don't believe it for a minute. After all, haven't they stuck basically to "Windows Store Apps" for months now? A term with an obvious - even prophetic - acronym neatly built in? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

    Surely I can't be the only person who looked at the phrase "Windows Store Apps" and immediately thought, "What the... WISTA?!"

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Rally, people, rally, for we're in the fight of our lives. The Wista UI is the VVista UI. VV for VVengeance.

    VISTA II

    Rejected it, did you? Thought Microsoft had swallowed its defeat gracefully, as it did the crushing of ME? Made peace with Apple, talked nice about Open Source? Fools! Can't you see what's right in front of you? Wista UI is nothing more than its alter pronunciation and ego "VVista We", promising an experience multitudinously worse than ME (plus the additional drama of lawsuits from Nintendo).

    Laugh at the WUI if you dare, but brace yourself against the "WuoooooooooooEEE!" braying through the halls of techdom as Windows' latest incarnation calls you to the upgrade trough.

    Yet the horror of Vista reincarnated pales beside the appalling prospect the Wista UI might spread to older versions of WIndows, even to other OS's.

    You scoff. I see. Tell me, do you really think Microsoft hasn't already locked and loaded a titillating taste of Tiles, aimed at the unwashed masses unwilling to upgrade? The myriad mockers of the Micro$oft way? Even the Fruity and Sphenisciform challengers of The One True OS?

    Does a Ballmer sweat in the woods?

    Mark my words. No WIndows OS is safe from the risk of being retroactively overlaid with the Wista UI; the threat of such potential abominations as WINTSTA, XP SPWISTA and - I shudder to think of it - Vista Wista.

    (I'll get my co. . . Oh. How convenient. The contents of my closet are already on the lawn.)

  73. Andydude
    Happy

    I thought it was clever legal manouvering..?

    Microsoft: Ok everyone checkout our new UI - it's called Metro *fanfare followed by disappointment*

    Metro France: Hey you can't call it Metro without giving us lots of money

    Microsoft: Fine. It's no longer called Metro then. We weren't even going to call it Metro anyway, so we're no longer going to say Metro. Metro.

    Everyone: So what's it called now then?

    Microsoft: ...Well it's not called Metro - that's for sure!

    Everyone: Fine, we'll carry on calling it Metro then.

    Metro France: ....Can we have some money now please?

    Microsoft: But it's not even called Metro! *cue manic laughing and Balmer throws another iPhone*

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows

    As

    Nobody

    KnowsIT

    UI

  75. Meleth

    Modern UI experience is the term used in server 2012 if i remember correcctly. The reason why they dropped Metro was cause of the free newspaper.

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      NSIS (http://nsis.sourceforge.net/Main_Page) were using the name "Modern UI" quite a few years ago. Even "Modern UI 2" is now 5 years old.

  76. Alex King
    FAIL

    WIMP

    Window Interface for Microsoft Programmes/Phones

    Or did somebody already use that one...

  77. JeremyP99

    I know what to call it

    Shit. Total fail.

  78. Avatar of They Silver badge
    WTF?

    Oh Dear.

    "We at Microsoft 90000 or so, are all behind this" - or we get sacked.

    "No one mutters the M word anymore" - What about F words?

    "20 billion a year on design." - To end up with the ribbon and metro.

    You could buy another country for that, or get a working aircraft carrier or three, or perhaps clear out third world debt for a small country and then ask some PHD people to create a better front end experienc for the cost of living expenses.

  79. Tim 8

    A touch interface for windows?

    obviously it should be called Smudge.

  80. JP19

    WPDE

    Windows Phone Desktop Edition

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: WPDE

      Why bother even mentioning the desktop? This interface is only ever going to be seen on (a few) phones.

  81. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Exclusive?

    "Nonetheless, Tschumy said Microsoft's new design principles were 'the exclusive language for our experiences,' adding that customers would see UIs based on the same ideas across all of the devices Microsoft touches, including PCs, phones, tablets, and even Xbox consoles."

    But failing to add that customers would not see UIs based on the same ideas on any other platform because MS will sue the skin off the back of anyone who tries. At least, that's how I interpret the word "exclusive", particularly since we have Apple's example to follow.

    Which raises the question, why would a device that currently has no market share and wants to see widespread adoption choose a "UI language" that currently has no speakers and for which there is a penalty if anyone else even tries to speak it?

    As a previous commenter said, this is the "Hubris UI". It has "fail" written all over it, but no-one can actually read that yet.

  82. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Windows *8* Store Apps

    Is this a veiled warning about the compatibility hell that awaits developers once Windows 9 comes out?

  83. Lamb0
    Alert

    Call the interface Tiley and...

    mandate animated tile based interfaces for a "helper" format in Windows8. We'll quickly see a new user interface for a rushed version of Windows9. (Think of Tiley as "Micro$oft Bob" inescapably embedded into the OS!)

  84. Bob Holtzmann

    Fenster

    A dignified German word for window. And to lighten things up (with a nod to Ballmer), use as an ad character the Addams Family's Uncle Fester.

  85. Corborg
    Facepalm

    OverdOSe

    too much tablet

  86. Topperfalkon
    Facepalm

    Yes, it does have a name already.

    I'm pretty sure they're happy with 'Modern UI', which was the term picked up after Metro was dropped (which was due to, as other commentors have noted, it being the name of a German market chain).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yes, it does have a name already.

      Yes, and that name has the same problems as "The New iPad". What happens when "Modern" UI isn't so modern and we have something newer to replace it?

      Personally, this so-called "modern" interface is so reminiscent of old DOS graphical applications it's not funny.

  87. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    A new name…

    I was just thinking to myself about this new OS interface. Perhaps they should call it the Hogwarts UI.

    "Charms", "magic corners"… did J.K Rowling design the desktop? I'm surprised they didn't dispense with the mouse cursor and call it a "wand".

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