back to article Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

A custom yacht designed by Steve Jobs, dubbed Venus, has set sail just a year after the Apple founder's death. Steve Jobs yacht Venus The good ship Venus, minus the intended captain Jobs, French designer Phillipe Starck, and Apple's Jon Ive all collaborated on the ship, which is based on a minimalist design that most fans …

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  1. TheOtherHobbes

    Does it

    have Maps?

    Snark aside, it's certainly a lovely ship - although possibly not very practical for anything except puttering around in.

    1. Vic

      Re: Does it

      > it's certainly a lovely ship

      You think so?

      I'd have described it as "hideous"...

      Vic.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Does it

        Surely it's missing its paddle wheels? ;)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Does it

        It's a miniature Herald Of Free Enterprise, surely?

        Too soon? :P

  2. solidsoup

    Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

    Form over function, style over substance.

    1. AbortRetryFail
      Thumb Up

      Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

      Yes, that was my immediate reaction too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

        I know it looks nasty.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

        It does look a bit like a Frank Lloyd Wright scout hut on water if you squint a bit. But without the decomposing pebbledash.

        Or maybe a severely minimalist Guggenheim gone bad and designed by Swedes in a bad mood instead?

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. AbortRetryFail

        Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

        It was this paragraph that suggested it, Doug:

        "The design suggests this isn't really an ocean-going craft, since those hull windows would be a liability in very rough seas and the doors and windows of the superstructure aren't slanted but run at a 90 degree angle from the deck. This make the ship trickier to steer in high winds and much less resistant to wave damage."

    3. Steve Evans

      Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

      Can't disagree with you there... They say St Jobs had a hand in the design, what did he do? Hide any of the real designers tools which weren't comprised purely of right angles?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

      Ever taken a minute to consider perhaps that is exactly what he intended for it? You design things for a purpose and clearly it's no ice breaker.

      1. solidsoup
        Devil

        @AC 05:56

        "Ever taken a minute to consider perhaps that is exactly what he intended for it? You design things for a purpose and clearly it's no ice breaker."

        Why, yes. You're absolutely right. It wasn't designed to be sea-worthy because there are no compatible docks out there that will accept it. It's also probably missing GPS navigation, relying on WiFi location instead (making navigation more than 100 meters off-shore very difficult). I just hope they don't park it in San Francisco fog. If it gets inside, it may turn all the indicators red, voiding the warranty.

        Also, I wonder if its on-board audio system is mono- and why they didn't use a clickwheel for steering. Other than that, as you say - fit for purpose.

    5. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      No, it isn't..

      Most Apple gear is actually well designed, and the looks reflect the decent engineering inside (except when they screwed up with the iPhone 4 antenna). So it had form that followed function.

      This tub has no form, and cannot function. I personally think it's bone ugly, I have seen far better yachts for the money - and those are sea worthy. Epic fail..

      All IMHO, of course, but I'd name it "fugly"..

      1. Psyx
        FAIL

        Re: No, it isn't..

        Ugly AND impractical.

        And a lovely cheerful shade of battleship grey, to boot.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: No, it isn't..

          What it might have looked like if Starck had had free reign:

          http://www.1designperday.com/2009/08/08/3-creative-yachts-designs-by-starck-more/

          I can only assume that Starck had responsibility for some of the interior fittings and decor, though not on the bridge judging from the photos. Maybe photos of his contribution haven't been released to smack him on the wrist for disclosing his involvement earlier in the year?

      2. EddieD

        Re: No, it isn't..

        Thank you for summing up my thoughts.

        It's hideous.

      3. Smallbrainfield
        FAIL

        Re: No, it isn't..

        I have to agree, it looks like a houseboat and was clearly designed by people who have little concept of seaworthiness. Philippe Starck is a past master at form over function as anyone who has ever tried to use his orange squeezer will know.

        Perhaps in a few years Hoseasons could get it at a knocked down price and do canal holidays with it?

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: No, it isn't..

          I'm not sure you can judge all his work by one lemon squeezer.. Though Starck is towards the 'form' end of the spectrum - the commission that made his name was interior furnishings for the French presidential palace- the bags he design for Samsonite were excellent. I especially like the shoulder straps that were on seat-belt style spools, so wouldn't catch on door handles when the bag was carried by its handle.

          I wasn't keen on those mice he designed for MS, though. His Lacie HDD enclosures are alright, if you like that soft of thing.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Smallbrainfield

          >Philippe Starck is a past master at form over function as anyone who has ever tried to use his orange squeezer will know.

          I use Juicy Salif every day - it is perfect. It gets all the juice out of the orange, straight in to my glass with no mess whatsoever.

          All my friends who see it say 'It looks nice, but it doesn't work'. I don't know how they all 'know' this, as I'm the only one who actually owns one. And yet when they then have a go it seems to work perfectly for them too....

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @Smallbrainfield

            "I use Juicy Salif every day" - I thought human trafficking was frowned on at El Reg ;)

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: No, it isn't..

          The juice runs down the legs? On second thoughts .....

      4. nematoad Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: No, it isn't..

        Agreed, it looks to me like someone has just designed the first sea-going garden shed.

        Bloody awful looks.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

      Was this a collaboration with the Ghost of Howard Hughes, he of spruce goose fame?

    7. Jonski
      FAIL

      Re: Perfect embodiment of everything Apple.

      Form over function, possibly. Style over substance, not so much. It would have to have style.

      Even if I was a gazillionaire, this is not a boat that would remotely interest me. The only redeeming feature is the destroyer bow, a design I might incorporate into my (imaginary) mega-yacht as a nod to my RN forbears.

      FWIW, Shenandoah is much more to my taste.

      1. Jonski

        Further to this

        I really do wonder what he might have got if he had built his own private jet? I am starting to imagine that it could be accurately represented in ASCII Art.

        _

        | |

        _______| |_______

        | _______| |_______|

        | |

        ^| |^

        =====

        "Aesthetics and technology were closed books to him and, had he had his way, burnt and buried books as well." - Douglas Adams

        1. Jonski
          WTF?

          Re: Further to this

          Thanks, el Reg, for borking my Ascii Art!

          1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: Further to this

            Ah. I thought it looked a tad weak in the aerodynamics department.

            (I am intrigued that you got downvoted for this post, by the way. Perhaps some reader loves the Reg so much they cannot stand the thought of someone criticizing its comment-formatting?)

  3. Jan 0
    Thumb Up

    "a minimalist design that most fans will recognize"

    I take it that you mean fans of Mies van der Rohe, rather than Apple fans? It certainly has the look of his pre-war buildings.

    BTW, a design that extends structures beyond their functional boundaries is not minimalist, but I'd still like to party on it on a suitably calm lake.

    1. dssf

      Re: "a minimalist design that most fans will recognize" the wave

      I wonder FEA and FEM were done to know whether or not a party of 80 dancers can do "The Wave" without impairing deck strength and intact stability. (Do not grumble.. I watched a Discovery Channel video of that new building with a top floor that looks like a surf board. The engineers of it actually ran simulations of many dance songs to find out frequency response of the structure to risky songs that might imperil the building.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "a minimalist design that most fans will recognize"

      I was thinking Venice, in the lagoon, in calm weather ;)

  4. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Reg Effect?

    from link:

    "One More Thing

    Server onbereikbaar

    Helaas kan onze server momenteel niet meer bezoekers aan. Probeer het nog eens over een paar minuten.

    Server unreachable.

    Due to the hugh amount of visitors our server is currently having some troubles to serve your requests. Please come back later."

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oops

    One More Thing

    Server onbereikbaar

    Helaas kan onze server momenteel niet meer bezoekers aan. Probeer het nog eens over een paar minuten.

    Server unreachable

    Due to the hugh amount of visitors our server is currently having some troubles to serve your requests. Please come back later.

    1. Oolons
      IT Angle

      Re: Oops

      My server can handle one kilo-hugh, its the new metric for all websites doncha know. Obviously equal to the 356 Kilo Newtons generated by 3 million people clicking their mice at once.

  6. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Reminiscent of...

    ...the steamers on Ullswater but all glossy and shiny.

  7. Anomalous Cowshed

    iBoat

    iBoat v U-boat

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: iBoat

      Give me a trusty Type VII any day.

      Better still, an Elektroboot.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OH NOES!!!

    Don't tell me Apple have a patent on non-rounded corners too?!!!

    1. Richard Jones 1
      Happy

      Re: OH NOES!!!

      No the patent on right angles is held by someone else and apple cannot afford the license!

  9. stupormundi
    Pirate

    It looks as if

    ... it comes with a built in fun police. Have a martini too many, and they will discretely escort you to your iCabin

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gruesome

    It combines the form of a three week old dog turd with the elegance of uPVC windows. Jobs could have done something worthwhile for a worthy cause, instead he inflicts this on the planet. The blind are VERY lucky.

    1. Aaron Em

      Odd

      I've yet to encounter a dog turd with windows and corners. What sort of dogs are you talking about, mate?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Odd

        I don't know what sort of dog he's talking about, but those corner would likely cause it to yelp a lot when taking a dump!

      2. hplasm Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Odd

        Seeing iDogs?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That a boat or a coffin

    Given the design issues for overly mild sea's and the general shape; It woud appear that Mr Jobs subconsiously designed his own coffin, albiet a year late. For a pointless product it does have a lot of points and sharp edges compared with fruity releases in the past.

    Still, could kit it out as a mobile iStore and in some ports/area's it would actualy make sence per square foot. Coasting up and down the country, advertising and sales all in one. WIth that in mind the design becomes more palatable and shows genius.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That a boat or a coffin

      I think retrospectively it would have been beneficial had you paid attention in school.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: That a boat or a coffin

        Thinking retrospectively in public makes toilet planning retorical. Especially when you involve schools Jim

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    God that thing is ugly

    and not fit for purpose, either.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: God that thing is ugly

      I'm no naval engineer, but I'm confident the people who built it know better than some commentards whether it is 'fit for purpose'. Their previous clients include Roman Abromovich, Paul Allen, a Brunei prince, the Ford family and many more, some having made repeat orders over the decades.

      I don't know how someone can think for a moment that by just looking at a photo they know better than the people who make these things for a living, and have made the calculations and performed the tests.

      By all means comment on its appearance, but to knock other professionals about whose trade you know little is just discourteous and makes you look a bit daft.

      1. uncle sjohie

        Re: God that thing is ugly

        Those professionals sometimes would like a good keelhauling for some of their customers. One female member of the Ford family is know for walking on her semi-finished yacht, pointing to the solid walnut veneer in the master cabin, and say "paint it all blue". Making the 3 expert carpenters, who had been working 2 weeks nonstop on those panels, leave the wharf whilst crying their eyes out..

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: God that thing is ugly

          Peter Scott's widow did the same after a carpenter made her a Gloucestershire style five-bar gate in oak... she then wanted it painted white.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @ uncle sjohie

          Would you care to explain exactly what is a "solid veneer"?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @ uncle sjohie

            I think the person means they weren't up for making the object out of solid wood, but still didn't want to use Fablon like in non-seagoing campervans ;)

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: solid walnut veneer

          It's either solid or veneered.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: God that thing is ugly

        > I'm no naval engineer

        No, but I am.

        I am a Naval Architect and I wouldn't trust this thing on the Grand Union.

        The plumb bow, the apparent aft concentration of hull volume, the high sides (and most likely an all to cock metacentric height) all mean instability. That big flat transom is an issue too.

        A shipbuilder will build whatever the customer asks for. If that's something fucking stupid they will ask the customer if they are sure, ask them to sign waivers, ask if they are really really sure and then build it anyway.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: God that thing is ugly

          >I am a Naval Architect and I wouldn't trust this thing on the Grand Union.

          Bullshit. Under the International Convention on the Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS), "The International Load Line Convention sets standards of construction, strength and subdivision and the criteria for minimum stability and freeboard. "

          There are potential criminal consequences for the owner for non-compliance, not to mention detention of the yacht.

          I'm surprised that as a naval architect you don't know that.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: God that thing is ugly

            > Bullshit. Under the International Convention on the Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS), "The International Load Line Convention sets standards of construction, strength and subdivision and the criteria for minimum stability and freeboard. "

            I'm surprised that as a naval architect you don't know that.

            Quite right of course. But then I would also know that SOLAS doesn't apply to pleasure yachts, cargo ships of less than 500 tonnes or (iirc) ships that do not venture outside of territorial waters.

            I freely admit that I am speculating about the underwater form, but judging from the visible shape and from Starck's previous designs I would make an educated guess that there is fuck all below the waterline and this thing is horribly unstable in both pitch and roll.

            1. Vic

              Re: God that thing is ugly

              > But then I would also know that SOLAS doesn't apply to pleasure yachts

              *snort*

              Vic.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: God that thing is ugly

              It might have a concealed 499T keel to make it not fall over when a swan flaps its wings nearby :P

        2. dssf

          Re: God that thing is ugly

          For those wanting to see some sexy megayachts, check out Yachts International and Boat International. I used to buy both at times. Unfortunately, some of the line drawings can be rather difficult to enjoy since details can be difficult to suss out. But, side detail tables sometimes make up for that.

          I would have thought that a multi billionaire, however, would go all out. $25,000,000 - $80,000,000, or whatever he spent, could buy a lot more of resale value in the appearances department.

          I wonder whether BI or YI can get releases or clearances to showcase this yacht in an issue, or whether it has already been.

  13. Gambrinus
    Pirate

    Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

    I've been on quite a few boats and all of them that have a computer based Navigation solution all run Windows. Does anyone know of any OS X solutions?

    { How can you not add a Jolly Roger to a nautical story ??? }

    1. bazza Silver badge
      Pirate

      Re: Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

      I doubt it. Judging by Apple's first attempt at land maps this floating gin palace will likely think that it's on Tooting High Street most of the time...

      1. pepper

        Re: Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

        There isnt. Its probably running windows(note that article talks about the hardware, not software). I cant really make out any OS specific features based on the pictures though.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperion_(yacht):

          "However, [the yacht] Hyperion is famous primarily for her owner, silicon valley entrepreneur Jim Clark, founder of Silicon Graphics and Netscape, who built the yacht with the aim of replacing all conventional ship board electronics with an array of integrated, touch screen computers.

          At the time of launch, all systems aboard the yacht including engines and sailing systems, environmental systems, lighting, HVAC and entertainment were controlled by a network of 30 customized Silicon Graphics computers and 22 LCD touch screens at various locations throughout the yacht."

          I do appreciate that OSX isn't IRIX, but if one billionaire can get UNIX-like navigation software together, there is no reason why another shouldn't.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

            A mate of mine is a sailor(engineer/bridge) and his dad actually visited Imtech, and he observed that the computers where running XP with conventional software for ships. The hardware was a macintosh machine. The photograph is probably done for show.

    2. Jan 0
      Pirate

      Re: Does that mean decent Marine Nav software exists for OS X ???

      Karen Nakamura of GPSy seems to be doing alright.

      http://www.gpsy.com/

  14. Paul Webb

    "Workers on the boat even got given specially engraved iPod nano's"

    What is this, Foxconn-style wages?

  15. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    The boy stood on the burning deck...

    My goodness that's one ugly floating palace.

    Plenty of money, short on style.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time for some poetry

    'Twas on the good ship Venus,

    Owned by a bit of a penis,

    The figurehead wasn't a nude in bed, it was deliberately omitted as it spoiled the clean, white lines with minimal visual intrusions and personally overseen by Sir Jonny Ives. Blah, blah, blah, Jobs is God, etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      V. NSFW poetry

      Can't believe it took this long for someone to cite the lyrics to The Good Ship Venus, and then mess them up!

      [Chorus:]

      On them Good Ship Venus

      By Christ you should have seen us

      The Figurehead was a whore in bed,

      Sucking a dead man's penis.

      The cabin boy was Kipper,

      A dirty little nipper,

      We stuffed his arse with broken glass

      To circumcise the skipper.

      The ship's dog's name was Rover

      They turned the poor mutt over

      And ground and ground

      That faithful Hound

      From Teneriffe to Dover

      The boatswain's name was Lester,

      He was a hymen tester.

      Thru hymens thick he stuck his prick

      And left it there to fester.

      Louden Wainwright III does a damned good version.

      (No relation to Mr Haines, I'm sure)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: V. NSFW poetry

        Can't believe it took this long for someone to cite the lyrics to The Good Ship Venus, and then mess them up!

        I can't believe someone didn't get the joke.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: V. NSFW poetry

          Apologies to anyone trying to read the lyrics, the Reg forum broke the formatting - there is supposed to be a line break after every lines, though you'd do better to search online for the full lyrics or Louden Wainwright's recording- though there are many to choose from. The Sex Pistols recorded a variant, 'Friggin in the Riggin'.

          >I can't believe someone didn't get the joke.

          I couldn't get your words to work with the rhythm of the melody, or rhyme. They seemed to form less of a joke and just descended into a boring read-a-thousand-times-before anti-Apple rant.

      2. dssf

        Re: V. NSFW poetry

        Jeez, thanks! I had a mild headache from a possible oncoming cold, but laughing so hard at this made me feel a bit better....

        Cheers!

  17. skeete
    Stop

    Let me guess.... This costs 3 times a comparative and possibly superior specified boat and it will be replaced by a slightly longer version with exactly the same innards in 6 months time whereby the old boat jwill be deemed uncool, none of the new key designs for doors will work and you will not be able to refuel the new boat without a special adaptor priced at a reasonable 20% of the cost of the new boat.

    Dow it have a little red dot that appears invalidating any warranty if it goes anywhere near water or humidity?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sigh..

      Rant over? Feel better now? That you're totally off re. the costs and longevity of Apple products may escape your blind hatred, but that's OK, as long as you're happy. Those who actually know how to calculate total cost of ownership over equipment lifetime quite happily buy Apple gear again - that it looks better is but a happy bonus.

    2. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Does it

      hit the dock and bounce back?

      Sorry, iDock...

      1. Andy 115

        No stupid!…

        … it's lightning enabled - it will dock both ways ;-)

    3. Psyx
      Joke

      "Let me guess.... This costs 3 times a comparative"

      And if you try going on another boat ever again, it'll sink.

      All the technical crew on board are called Admirals, or some other title that they aren't intellectually qualified for.

      If the life-jackets don't work; you're wearing them wrong.

    4. dssf
      Joke

      will that require...

      jailbreaking, pirating, or sideloading?

  18. rurwin

    Just what Jobs was good at...

    ...making something neither beautiful nor functional, but which gives the impression of both.

    How can something give the impression of being beautiful while being as ugly as the rear of a dog? I have no idea, but Apple manages it time and time again.

  19. dz-015

    Shame about all the pathetic Fandroids jumping in here with their anti-Jobs comments. Also a shame that Steve never got to enjoy his boat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thou shalt not go against the word of Jobs?

      That's a rather silly assumption to make. Speaking as an owner of an MBP and assorted other fruity goods is my view any more valid in your eyes? I think it looks f*cking ugly. No arguement of function over form can persuade me otherwise. Drawing from an Iain M. Banks book I think it should be renamed the "Idiot Aboard".

      1. dz-015

        Re: Thou shalt not go against the word of Jobs?

        Fair enough, but there's no need for all the nasty and inaccurate personal anti-Jobs comments in this forum just because the aesthetics of a boat are not appreciated, for Christ's sake.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Admirable, Nelson

      I see no boat! :P

  20. Blofeld's Cat
    Pirate

    Core blimey...

    I know the late Steve lived in his own, self-proclaimed, reality distortion field, but couldn't somebody have penetrated got through it long enough to suggest a different name.

    Atalanta would seem appropriate as she was distracted by golden apples.

    PS What's that cable running from the open console panel in picture 2? And is that a bit of tape bandaging it halfway along? Surely not.

    1. 8Ace
      Happy

      Re: Core blimey...

      PS What's that cable running from the open console panel in picture 2? And is that a bit of tape bandaging it halfway along? Surely not.

      .. yes it is .. the Google Maps feed.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like shit.

    Like many of the current batch of super-yachts.

    A real case of "The Emperor's New Clothes"....

    I'm guessing it'd get the shit kicked out of it doing a trans-Atlantic crossing.

    1. Velv Silver badge
      Go

      Re: Looks like shit.

      Have a look for Strand Craft 122 and 166.

      Now there's a good looking Super Yacht.

      Apparently four are being built. The car bit is a gimmick, but the lines of the boat are stunning, an optical illusion on the size.

  22. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    FAIL

    it will be loaded onto a container ship and sent to its final destination

    Er, it's a boat. Can't it float, and (let's be adventurous here) sail there on its own?

    1. Adam-the-Kiwi

      Re: sail there on its own?

      1) Probably cheaper to ship it than to pay a crew and the voyage costs;

      2) I doubt *very* much that the Venus is capable of an Atlantic crossing in anything other than the most clement weather.

    2. Psyx

      Re: it will be loaded onto a container ship and sent to its final destination

      "Er, it's a boat. Can't it float, and (let's be adventurous here) sail there on its own?"

      I wouldn't want to take that across an ocean on a shake-down run!

  23. Mako
    Unhappy

    "But I have to keep going on it. If I don't, it's an admission that I'm about to die."

    I can't help but think that if he had admitted to himself just how ill he was - i.e. beyond the help of mere positive thinking - he might still be here today to enjoy his little boat. Sad, really.

  24. AceRimmer
    Mushroom

    Yuks

    Ship building meets brutalism

    1. Burbage

      Re: Yuks

      That was called "A Room for London", and I can see no similaries at all.

      This, on the other hand, is a very lovely boat.. Though, given what can happen to aluminium bicycle frames, especially if the council's put salt on the roads, I'd give it three years.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Yuks

        You do get different alloys of aluminium. Bicycle frames are usually 6xxx or 7xxx series alloy, boats usually use 5xxx series, and tensile strength reductions in 10-year sea-water corrosion tests of 1.62mm thick bare sheet specimens are only 2 to 5%.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Yuks

        That's why they fit sacrificial anodes on yachts...

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Aluminium

        Eh? My 7005 MTB frame is 15 years old and has no corrosion whatsoever...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: My 7005 MTB frame is 15 years old

          And how much of that time ha it spent immersed in seawater?

  25. RainForestGuppy

    Was that..

    A picture of the real boat or a mock-up made in Minecraft???

  26. David Evans

    well I like it...

    I may not care for Apple or Mr. Jobs but I this is a handsome boat. Reminds me a lot of the current Wally design style. As for all the jibes about its seaworthiness, yeah right.

  27. Ian Johnston Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Design infringement

    It's a clear rip-off of the superyachts Wally (yes, really) have been building for a few years now.

    1. AceRimmer
      Coat

      Re: Design infringement

      Not really. Wally Yachts are "cool"

  28. plrndl
    Headmaster

    Plural's

    So plural's now have apostrophy's in the Reg, or is it just apples stuff?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Plural's

      >So plural's now have apostrophy's in the Reg, or is it just apples stuff?

      I don't know, but in your question 'apples' requires an apostrophe since it is possessive. What that cousin of Sod's Law that dictates any post about a grammatical error must itself contain such an error?

      Oh, I see, you did it deliberately. Carry on...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Um...

        It's called an "apostrophe".

      2. plrndl

        Re: Plural's

        You got it.

  29. sebacoustic
    Thumb Down

    /. frst psot was....

    iSore

    made me laugh... and it wraps it up in one word.

  30. Paul 75

    I bet that looked a whole lot better on the back of the envelope that they originally sketched it on...

  31. Peter Simpson 1
    Meh

    Meh

    I've seen bigger.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Mirqab_%28yacht%29

    1. dssf

      Re: Meh. The first superyacht i fell in love with, by Lurssen...

      http://www.superyachts.com/motor-yacht-3782/skat.htm

      I read about it in 2003 when i visited a bookstore in a nautical town. Many have come and been resold and renamed, but that yact is among my favorites, maybe still nbr one. If i had only enough of a budget fot that type, it would be it. But, there are some cool megayachts out there, too.

  32. Lee Sherwood
    Coat

    It work's perfectly...

    You're just holding it wrong!

    Sorry, i had too

  33. skeete
    FAIL

    It works perfectly but you have it in the wrong sort of water.

  34. A J Stiles

    End In Tears

    This will end in tears.

    It was Philippe Starck who created that juicer. You know, the one found in kitchens with very clean ovens and where no lemon is ever squozen.

    The mode of delivery alone should be enough to tell you that this craft is not seaworthy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "squozen"

      Excellent!

  35. Jediben
    Mushroom

    I'm pretty sure

    That I blew up more than one of those things in X-Wing...

  36. awhit
    Thumb Down

    Not a Pretty Boat

    I think this boat is hideous. Boats are not ment to be all right angles!

  37. awhit
    WTF?

    Not a pretty Boat by any means.

    This is a hideous boat. Boats are not ment to have right angles. It is virtually useless for it's intended purpose. Oh wait isn't that par for the course for Apple? He He. Light the blue touch paper and retire

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fugly definately

    What an ugly boat.

    Guess thats partially where all your fanboi dollars get spent :)

  39. 1Rafayal
    Trollface

    So this is the Jesus Boat?

    Doesn't it all sound a little familiar to L Ron Hubbard? Didn't he set sail on a med cruise armed with the most beautiful teenagers in the 60's only to start his own religion?

    If I dint know the Divine Jobs was dead, wouldn't be surprised to hear about this boat in the future in relation to the Jobsian Cult.

  40. Manolo
    Joke

    Where will it dock?

    I hear it needs a proprietary port.

    (joke shamelessly stolen from a /. commentard)

  41. John 104
    FAIL

    What an ugly boat

    I'm not a naval architect. But I do restore classic runabouts for fun and am a fan of mid sized yachts. This thing is hideous. There are no signs of any naval or maratime influences visible in the shots provided. the bridge looks like a prison cell. Can you imagine being at the helm and having to sit at those pole seats? I pity the captain and crew.

    The deck looks like a 50s rambler. The bow ? What the hell is going on there? This thing is in such bad taste I can't even put it to words. It will end up in the scrap heap before too long. Or should be anyways...

  42. Christopher Blackmore
    FAIL

    Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough...

    Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough for me to be able to see what is wrong with this. The bows with their vertical sides will offer almost no resistance to any pitching motion, so in any sort of choppy weather the silly thing is going to pitch like crazy. The deck has no sheer, so the bows are going to dig in when that pitching starts, resulting in tons of water on deck. The decks have no camber, so the water will not flow off as quickly as you might wish. It will probably still be there when the next wave arrives. There's about 10,000 horsepower of engines, so any attempt to do the 60 knots it's supposedly capable of will most likely cause a very good impression of a submarine.

    Still, if you like things that look like that and are a billionaire who thinks alternative medicine will save you...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough...

      ...since you can't see what's going on below the waterline, I'd suggest your OND in Nautical Science ISN'T enough. And if you bother to look, it doesn't actually have completely vertical sides.

      Yacht design is going through a bit of a revolution at the moment and the identikit gin palaces of the last 20 years are giving way to more radical designs thanks to big strides in hydrodynamic modelling. Boats don't have to look like a destroyers in order to work. Go to Boat International, take a look at their top 100 superyachts list and you'll see a lot of change in the last few years, including vertical-sides, Phillipe Starke design, upright glasshouses etc. and amazingly, none of them have sunk yet.

      1. GotThumbs
        Joke

        Re: Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough...

        "none of them have sunk yet."

        Don't they have to leave the dock first?

  43. GotThumbs
    Joke

    No surprised. Steve Jobs wasn't the designer of Apples best sellers and this proves it.

    I think the millions of dollars spent on a ship that's not fit for ocean voyages is a befitting tribute to Jobs lack of designing ability. He may have been the face of Apple, but He was not the actual designer of its products.

    Jobs best sales pitch was in selling himself as an expert.

    I bet his wife is somewhat relieved. Imagine His critique of Her lovemaking...."You're doing it wrong!"

    Sorry for that borderline tasteless joke, but I couldn't resist.

    Best wishes,

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All aboard the iTanic...

  45. Triggerfish

    Go to Boat International

    Just had a look at that top 100 list well first 20 or so anyway and they all seem to have a more apparent look of seaworthiness than that thing.

    I always think form often follows function in the design of ships by the look of that thing I don't find myself convinced.

    However not being a naval architect I will accept I could be wrong, I'm interested in seeing what some of my sailing friends think though, they have been boat builders and I have a feeling they wont be overly impressed with it.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Alu for lightness, teak for... Oh, I remember as a lad, playing with little gliders made of super-light teak. Then there was that old British twin-engined fast teak bomber thingy? By 'eck, it glode (glided/glid) like a feather and no mistake. No rivets see, just elephant poo holding it together.

    I hope that's teak from carefully-managed fast-growing Nordic Teak Forests where teak is grown for (scratchy) diaper fibre pulp and replaced with heroic little teak saplings. Yangon, that's near Oslo, right? ;)

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    i think that boat looks cool, although i would have envisioned a more rounded bow.

    1. dssf

      This is not a limerick, so it will not stick, but

      It seems the unrounded bow

      Is giving way to an unbounded row

      But, if it leaves a cove and goes down by the bow,

      There might be no investigation asking "Oh, HOW."

  48. It's sunny in Wellington

    IP

    Does this mean Apple will now be going after anyone who makes anything that floats?

    And yes, it looks bloody horrible.

  49. Tom Slade

    View from a yachtie

    Lots of Interesting coments. What is obvious is techies know little about Super Yachts. I speak as someone who works on vessels very similar to this one.

    What makes this vessle non Ocean Going?

    Most super yachts spend there summers in the Med and Winters in the Caribbean , to do that they have to get across the Atlantic. Feadship, the yard that bult her, would have built her with the capacity to make that voyage. Yachts are always pushing the boundries on Ship design, its amazing waht can be achived these days.

    Also SOLAS, Yes pleasure yachts are exempt, but this one is over 500GT, so it isnt. Every yacht ive been on has been built to class and solas requirements. No one will insure your boat if you dont.

    Why would it pitch and role? All yachts have stabalizers, and some even work at zero speed. We cant have owners spilling there G and Ts

  50. nichobe
    WTF?

    free nanos!

    Cheap bastards

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