I'm pretty sure that was a short horror story by Clive Barker.
Authorities in Coos County, Oregon, are investigating just how a 69-year-old farmer ended up being eaten by his own monster hogs. The remains of Vietnam vet Terry Vance Garner were discovered at his farm outside Bandon "several hours after he went to feed his animals". A family member first spotted the farmer's dentures on the …
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
We are having a public enquiry here into how the police failed to catch a serial killer for 10years:
"You know that man we keep arresting for violence to women?"
"The one with van we keep seeing in the redlight district ?"
"Should we interview him?"
"No need - we went out to his pig farm and there were no sign of lots of murdered prostitutes"
A great one liner paraphrased from the film Snatch for those who have not watched it, "Never trust a pig farmer."
The Hollywood script writers have done this story before, but no doubt they will be paying a visit for some fresh ideas... As for 700lb pigs, well that is a hell of a lot of bacon sarnies!
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My grandfather kept pigs. He never went into the sty without a huge board, to act as a shield, in front of legs and alway had a very large stick in his hand.
He said pigs aren't dumb, they know where they're headed. Out of all the animals on his farm, I was not never allowed near pigs on my own. Even the sheepdogs kept well clear.
Do pigs have the guilty look dogs display when they've eaten the birthday cake?
did anyone line these up and check for one or two that won't look you in the eye?
What will happen to these piranhaporkers, the preemptive strike of bacon land?
Are a few 300+kg pigs still going to find their way into the human food chain?
"Farmers own pies" no doubt.
I just hope it was quick and might forgo the sausages for a while.
Anonymous Coward wrote: "What a way to go! But as a vegetarian myself I can't help but see the poetic justice in it!"
Indeed, it is the law of nature. Sometimes you eat the pork; sometimes the pork eats you.
-- Paris, because no one wants to learn that her purse pooch had feasted on her in her sleep/
There is precedence, we can only hope ... See Marie Provost.
Good gawd/ess ... Was that song really released 35 years ago? Pardon while I advise the music computer to shuffle thru' Stiff Records late '70s/early '80s, starting with that. Memories of my youth ... Next comes "Heads Down No Nonsense Mindless Boogie", good start. Peering at the running order, "Neat, Neat, Neat", "Spellbound", "Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick", "Leaving Here" and "Alison" are to follow ... Kids these days don't know what music is ;-)
Firstly, 700 pounds isn't "abnormal" for hogs raised for meat.
Second, I'll bet a nickle that he got jostled & spilled the damp/wet hog chow on himself as he fell over. There is a reason that my hog's troughs are accessible from outside the pens ...
Thirdly, no, eating the hogs in question wouldn't make you a cannibal. The "input protein" has no bearing on "finished product" anymore that eating chicken turns you into a chicken or eating salmon turns you into a fish. The "ick" factor does come into play, however, even for this backwoods hick ... I'd probably just shoot & bury the hogs in question (I have an old, dried up well that I'm saving for this kind of thing, gawd/ess forbid ...).
I don't know why you got a down vote.
I am just curious how you are going to use the well if your pigs ever eat you.
And I find it hard to imagine anyone getting into the pen with a herd of 700 pound flesh eaters at dinnertime. There is always one and he would have known that. Sounds more like he had an attack of something (heart or dizzy spell) and fell in.
How the hell they are going to do an autopsy?
Seriously. He'd be semidigested by the time he was almost found and by anyone got around to doing anything to the pigs would have been well on his way to methane and carbon dioxide.
Just going in with them to pick up the remains would have been an ordeal anyone would put off for a long while.
Wasn't "porcine ingestion" a favoured method of body disposal by the Sicilian Mafia?
I still like the story I heard a while back about someone figuring out that while a dead informant isn't worth much, the same recently dead informant suitably dissected into organs and sold on the black market was a money maker as the organs rarely get DNA profiled once implanted..
Corneas are worth >$8000+ whereas kidneys can fetch >$30,000 depending on quality.
Struck off doctors are easy to hire and will work for a pittance if it is paid in cash or drugs.
Getting the specialist equipment and drugs needed to ensure harvesting succeeds isn't difficult at all..
Don't even get me started on the whole "ice pick lobotomy + drop victim minus organs off in middle of unfriendly rival gang area" method...
A sow bit Garner last year when he accidentally stepped on one of her piglets. His brother, Michael Garner, said: “He said he was going to kill it, but when I asked him about it later, he said he had changed his mind."
Looks like a clear case of self defence to me.
"As we were eating the last bowl, the owner came up and said never to come back again, we're disgusting, and we're eating him out of business, so we're nothing but filthy pigs."
Have you thought of inviting the restaurant owner to Oregon to show him how genuine filthy pigs dine?
Shocking fact: big, dangerous animals are dangerous, big.
One of my wife's relatives was eaten by his hogs. That was in Indiana, only a few decades back. Witnesses think he had a heart attack before falling into the pen; but it's possible the heart attack might not have been fatal. The hogs were.
Pigs are large, aggressive omnivores. It's not quite like keeping bears, but it's along the same lines. My brother's ex-girlfriend's father (yes, I know that sounds tenuous, but I knew the gentleman in question myself) kept a few pigs on the family homestead in Vermont. He'd dumpster-dive at the local supermarket for expired groceries and toss them in the pen, packaging and all; the pigs would eat the lot. He'd cut down saplings and throw those in the pen, and the pigs would eat them. They'd eat the rats that came in after the garbage. No reason why a pig wouldn't eat you, if it had opportunity and felt a bit peckish.
"Eaten by a pig" was a not-uncommon cause of death in medieval Europe, where pigs often roamed village streets eating garbage. Stallybrass & White cite some sources in The Politics and Poetics of Transgression.
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