back to article LONDON iPHONE 5 MADNESS: 'You must be CRAZY to buy Apple'

Giggling Apple fanbois queuing for the new iPhone 5 in London gave Apple Store staff high-fives as a man bellowed at them: "Are you mad?!" The bewildering scene marked the start of another Apple iThing launch, and another day of eyebrow-raising antics on the streets of London and beyond. "Why are you shouting 'iPhone 5 iPhone …

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  1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

    Because if you make people feel good about doing something stupid, they will think that it's not a stupid thing to do.

    The Milgram experiment basically tells us this, too. If you lined up enough people who *were* enthusiastic about electrocuting people, or whatever else, then enough people would cheer and wave their arms to join the ranks of those encouraging without question and so propagate such actions.

    If you could go into a newsagents with a grumpy man behind the counter who doesn't talk, or one where they know your name, talk about your family, smile when they see you, etc. then you're more likely (on average) to choose the smiley shop in future (even if they are ripping you off in comparison). This is just the same phenomenon on a larger scale.

    Why do you think Apple have paid for those people to line up inside the store cheering you, and high-fiving? Because it makes some people feel better about something instead of thinking it through. And, yes, of course some of those idiots would do it unpaid too - hell, most Justin Bieber fans would happily work security for him for free if you asked them to as well. But not forever. And not if the iPhone 5 actually turns out to be a bit of a stinker of a product.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

      ....if one of those people in the queue had a little lightbulb moment, looked at themself, looked around, and then just said "what the f**k am I doing!?!"

      1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

        Re: It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

        I think the same about people who work in any "smiley" customer service or promotion job, anyone who knocks on your door trying to sell stuff (or, as the last few have stated "not trying to sell you things", merely exchange a business service that they will provide for my money), any Z-class "celebrity", and quite a lot of other people.

        Humans are inherently gullible and susceptible animals when it comes to social recognition.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

          The grumpy / helpful approach helped me choose my local car parts stockist.

      2. Psyx
        Joke

        Re: It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

        "....if one of those people in the queue had a little lightbulb moment, looked at themself, looked around, and then just said "what the f**k am I doing!?!""

        That's about as likely as a fat rich dude who rules an Empire looking down and saying "Fuck me: I'm wearing bollocks all!!"

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

        He would promptly answer himself, "Oh yes, I'm enjoying myself! How could I forget? Living in the first world, I have to create problems to solve as all the 'real' ones are solved for me. I could achieve this by bitching about some highly visible minority group's attempts to achieve the same, but I prefer a more positive outlook..."

      4. garbo
        Alien

        Re: It would do a lot to restore my extremely low opinion of the human race....

        Be honest. Have you ever met an idiot who suddenly has a flash of intelligence. If he was smart (presuming it's a male - I've found women more savvy) how would he end up in a Conga Queue for yet-another shiny gadget in the first place?

        So hang on to your low opinion of the latest primate. It's correct.

        Now where did I put my banana?

    2. Bob Vistakin
      FAIL

      The iPhone5 can just get lost

      Siri, where can I combine a drive to work with a thrilling rollercoaster ride? http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/31971812088/crooked-highways-near-the-philadelphia-museum-of

      Siri, can you recommend a good mapping application to teach kids geography? http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/31970259679/berlin-antarctica

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Plebs

      The que at John Lewis was non-existant.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Plebs

        Only a handful of people outside the O2 shop on Oxford Street at 8am this morning too.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Plebs

        "The que at John Lewis was non-existant:

        err... John Lewis doesn't sell the iPhone.

    4. Blergh
      Happy

      Be Happy!

      What is the point in life if it isn't to be happy while you're here?

      Who really cares what you do to be happy (as long as it doesn't negatively affect anyone else). If queuing for the new iPhone makes them happy, then let them be. It's not something I'd do, I don't even have a smartphone, but if that's what rocks their boat I'm happy for them. Many people have trouble finding something to be happy about so don't put them down just because you're the grumpy man in the shop.

      1. Mark .

        Re: Be Happy!

        Well indeed, the thing that annoys me is not that a few people choose to queue, but the hysteria in the media about it all. And that does have effects - it affects awareness of products on the market, it gives help to one company and not others, it reduces free competition in the market, and means progress is made more on marketing and what gets media hype, rather than technology or innovation.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Be Happy!

        "Who really cares what you do to be happy (as long as it doesn't negatively affect anyone else). If queuing for the new iPhone makes them happy, then let them be. It's not something I'd do, I don't even have a smartphone, but if that's what rocks their boat I'm happy for them. Many people have trouble finding something to be happy about so don't put them down just because you're the grumpy man in the shop."

        Religion makes a lot of people happy. It doesn't mean I'm not going to point out how ridiculous it is.

        1. Blitterbug
          Headmaster

          Re: Rocks their boat?

          Think you meant 'floats their boat'. 'Cos you just sort of said the exact opposite...!

      3. The Alpha Klutz

        Re: What is the point in life if it isn't to be happy while you're here?

        the point is to shut your stupid face and pay your taxes

        regards

        David Cameron

      4. Nuke
        Happy

        @Blergh - Re: Be Happy!

        Wrote :- "Who really cares what you do to be happy (as long as it doesn't negatively affect anyone else). If queuing for the new iPhone makes them happy, then let them be."

        Yes, but it makes me happy to laugh at what makes those guys happy. Please let me be.

      5. Dave 15

        Re: Be Happy!

        Question is - does buying an iPhone 5 harm? (This applies to any product in reality but what the hell - pick on Apple is good fun).

        To make the iPhone someone has had to work - that could be seen as giving them employment, money and security - although from the reports we hear its not much money, not great employment and probably no real security.

        To make the iPhone a lot of energy is used, causing pollution and CO2 causing global warming and killing wildlife

        To 'recycle' the iPhone the new iPhone replaces takes a lot of energy, causes pollution and possibly poisons the person doing the recycling and leads to heavy metal contamination

        To transport the piles of iPhones from the (no doubt very nasty) factory in China to the shiny London shop took a lot of energy and filled the atmosphere with CO2 which won't have been offset, involved a lot of tree chopping for the cardboard package and a lot of oil drilling for the plastic.

        Those who traveled to get their iPhone may have made special journeys causing pollution, exacerbating overcrowding and by increasing demand raising the cost of fuel for the rest of us.

        So... it might be that the 'happiness' enjoyed by those queuing to spend their money does have an effect after all.

        Each to their own of course.

    5. mad_dr

      "The Milgram experiment basically tells us this, too. If you lined up enough people who *were* enthusiastic about electrocuting people, or whatever else, then enough people would cheer and wave their arms to join the ranks of those encouraging without question and so propagate such actions."

      I liken the nature of the behaviour of these crowds to the behaviour demonstrated by the participants of the Stanford Prison experiment; joining in with a situation that requires actions that are contrary to our normal senses, rather than the Milgram experiment which was more about our innate compulsion to obey orders from authority, regardless of our reluctance to do so or the consequences. All are fascinating scenarios to us saddo Psychologists though!

      1. Seanie Ryan
        Megaphone

        madness

        whether you like people queuing or not , or even the media attention, none of it has a direct negative influence on your life, its not a tax or a removal of choices. So by berate them for what they want to do.

        Should they be allowed to degrade you for your choices?

        live and let live, if they are not affecting you.

        The fact that a guy with a megaphone arrives and tries to force his opinion on others is total madness, akin to religious cultism. You, your opinion and values are WRONG, mine are RIGHT.

        If he feels that strongly about the issues he raised let him take it up at corporate and govenrment level instead of giving the appearance of a nut-job

        1. Dom 1

          Re: madness

          I think you answered your own argument - the guy with the megaphone has the right to his own opinion and the right of free speech (even if you don't agree with him). The fact that you disagree with a person's right to express himself is a worrying attitude akin to extreme facisim or communism, where freedom is severely curtailed. Are you worried about his comments possibly being anti-Apple?

          Let's face it, Apple have managed to convince people to take 1 or 2 days off work, to wait in the cold and rain so they can spend £500-600 [in a recession] on their product! Now that's "religious cultism" as you put it.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Asch Conformity Experiments

        Extending the psychological angle, it's probably closer to Asch's conformity experimity, where no pressure was in place from authority figures as with Milgram or situational changes in behaviour related to power/loss of power like the Stanford Prison experiment.

        Asch's experiment highlighted our desire to conform to have the same opinion as our peers (known or unknown). So, in a room with 7 other "volunteers" the guinea pig is asked to say which in a series of lines is longer -nothing more difficult and the result wasn't borderline - it was a clear cut correct answer. However, because the 7 other "volunteers" were actually experimenters they all said the incorrect line was the longest, and the guinea pig agreed with them in about 70% of cases.

        It's a human desire to conform, not to stand out, and that's what's happening with the Apple fans who MUST GET A NEW PHONE ON THE DAY IT'S AVAILABLE, as opposed to those who can get it online or walk in to a shop. Very interetsing experiment in human nature though.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Take it back...

      Apple is different and they will sue you for slander and the Beatles again too for trademark infringement. New York city is also pushing its luck by marketing itself as the "Big Apple"; Johnny Appleseed is on the hit list too. Cisco sure was wise to capitulate and surrender the iPhone name preemptively.

    7. Dave 15

      Try this

      Stand in a crowded area - better with a friend - suddenly stop and point up at the sky as if looking at something.

      Or

      Scrabble around for a moment saying you are looking for a contact lens

      Before you know it you'll have a crowd copying and you can actually step away and watch it continue - often for quite a long time. This is the nice side of our natural group instincts, the nastier is the behaviour of children to any child that isn't quite as they are (from glasses, ginger hair, wrong skin colour to missing limbs etc.)

      As has been said before, whether or not you like Apple products they sure as hell know how to sell them, I have to take my hat off to them for that - they are brilliant at selling. Rather than ditching Symbian Nokia should have ditched the marketing droids and poached some Apple sales&marketing folk

    8. N13L5

      iOwnersheep enhances your intelligence, knowledge and social status

      Just consider the regular shearing you receive from your greedy master a religious experience.

      And always remember that the walled garden is not for our profit. It is only to protect you from big bad wolves and the complexities of reality.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You'll be telling us the Jesus existed next! A fool and their money are easily parted.

    1. ElNumbre

      That was the phrase that came to my mind.

      But if a little black monolith provides them with the necessary hit to keep them happy for the next 12 months, then so be it.

      1. Avatar of They
        Thumb Up

        Problem is

        That little black monolith isn't enough to keep them quiet, they will ooze smugness and sadness. Not to mention the same sad pathetic misfits in the queue, have real jobs where they might / will / could actually be responsible for proper things, like health care, roads, military stuff. Things we the normal people actually do need and can't have entrusted to gullible stupid morons that high five in public.

        What we should be doing is photographing them and making sure they are not near anything "live", "dangerous" or "required" for the next 12 months, the little black monolith should mean they are taken out of society if it was bought while in a queue outside an apple store.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Up

          Re: Problem is

          "That little black monolith isn't enough to keep them quiet, they will ooze smugness and sadness. Not to mention the same sad pathetic misfits in the queue, have real jobs where they might / will / could actually be responsible for proper things, like health care, roads, military stuff. Things we the normal people actually do need and can't have entrusted to gullible stupid morons that high five in public.

          What we should be doing is photographing them and making sure they are not near anything "live", "dangerous" or "required" for the next 12 months, the little black monolith should mean they are taken out of society if it was bought while in a queue outside an apple store."

          Well said sir!

        2. garbo
          Devil

          Re: Problem is

          So now you know why "health care, roads, military stuff" and a whole lot more are such a mess - Apple doesn't yet have an app for it.

          1. AntiPoser
            Happy

            Re: Problem is

            They in that queue as using the maps they could not find where they worked :)

    2. Marty
      Big Brother

      "You'll be telling us the Jesus existed next!"

      Actually its very probable a man walked the holy land approximately 2000 years ago, going by the name of "Jesus of Nazareth" preaching that we all should be nice to each other.......

      the very debatable part is if he was the son of God, Jobe, Jehovah, Allah or any of the other names for god. Was he actually born to the Virgin Mary, (even though she was married to Joseph and very unlikely to be a virgin), did he actually perform any of the miracles attributed to him?

      the problem is that the original stories have been twisted and lost (probably deliberately) to make his teachings into a religion. and in a lot of cases those twists are only done to self serve the hierarchy of the founders of the religion.

      It has long been believed that Jesus was most probably married, (most likely to Mary Magdalene), there would have been something seriously wrong if a 25+ year old Jewish boy was not married!! but this does not fit in with what the catholic church wanted.

      Did Jesus exist? probably... was he anything other than a ordinary (forward thinking) man, probably not... , Was he the son of god?.... As I don’t believe in omnipresent beings, No !!!

      Big brother icon, because he is watching you.... god is not !!

      1. OrsonX

        Jezus Jesus....

        ....it was 2000 years ago, let it go.

      2. Graham Dawson

        I think you're showing a little prejudice if you think the Jesus story was "twisted" by a church that didn't even exist for much of the time said "twisting" was taking place.

        From a purly historical perspective, Christianity arose as one of several offshoots of a temple-based religion that suddenly had to adapt to a world where that temple no longer existed. It's mirrored in the rise of judaism which, despite its claims, isn't actually older than christianity; it was also an attempt to cope with a world where the temple was gone. Both firmed up around 200AD into the religious we know and love today but they'd had very different starts.

        Christianity based itself around a revolutionary concept. It was a revelation-based faith; that is, it waits for revelation to be provided in dealing with unforseen circumstances (the great mysteries), which is why there are so many christian denominations; they all had different revelations on particular subjects.

        Judaism based itself on a consensus of opinion and is an evolutionary faith with some revelationary characteristics, which is why there are so relatively few jewish splits and why they tend to mix and merge again over the centuries.

        On the subject of whether Jesus was married, there's a lot of speculation based on fantasy and hearsay and gnostic pseudographia written many hundreds of years after the events in question but no actual evidence. The bible itself implies that Jesus was celibate and may have been a nazirite for much of his life before having a revelation, breaking his vows and attempting to restore the "true path" of the temple faith of Israel. Being celibate would rather preclude marriage, I feel, and the nazirites were a very powerful sect at the time, with many thousands having taken the vows. Certainly they were powerful enough that Paul had to appease their leadership more than once.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          I don't usually come to The Register to get my sociology and history of religion bit, but it's an unexpected pleasure.

        2. Marty
          Unhappy

          "Both firmed up around 200AD into the religious we know and love today but they'd had very different starts."

          Wooohhhaaa... know and love? I don’t think so. know..maybe... love, definitely not !!

          I am aware that most modern religions based around Christianity rose up around 200AD and all of them based on difrent scriptures. Some faith saccepted some of the scriptures, others did not depending if it "fitted in" in what they were forging out. Most shunned the Profit Mohammed and would not accept he was a true profit, rejecting that the Angel Gabriel came to him. , others embraced his words.

          Its all the rejection or acceptance that I refer to as twisting.

          As for Jesus being celibate, Just because he may or may not have been a Nazirite does not make him celibate, The part of the bible that teaches that Jesus was celibate was when Paul was teaching the believers in Corinth that a person unhindered by marriage can do Gods work better.

          "Corinthians 7:32-35....I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

          in Matthew 19, Jesus said the person who can accept this challenge of celibacy should accept it,But It does not say that he is indeed is or was celibate all of his life.

          I don’t particularly like any of the mainstream religions. They mostly are self serving, The catholic church for instance could wipe out third world debt. They horde billions of pounds worth of treasures, they hide away documents and don’t allow them to be scrutinised, but declare the contents to be true....

          Most, if not all are the cause of wars.

          But at the same time, I may dislike religion and I have often referred to religion as the poor mans opium, but I do not like to be a bigot about it and probably have read and understood more of the bible than most who go and waste 2 hours in the morning and another 2 in the evening on Sundays, Jesus said that you don’t have to go to gods house to prey, he is omnipresent, he hears you everywhere... but people are compelled to, more so by the Catholic church who will send the priest out if you miss Sunday... heaven forbid the collection plate is a little light.....

          their again, I might go to hell !!!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            "...Jesus said that you don’t have to go to gods house to prey..."

            ...unless you like eating Christians

  3. Thomas 4
    Unhappy

    Oo

    I am creeped out and slightly scared now. This is not normal behaviour.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oo

      The quote

      '"Apple is crazy, you have to be crazy for Apple," he said.'

      says it all.

      Brainwashing on an epic scale. Queues and obsession with the latest iteration of a mobile phone.

      No doubt these are the type of people who are defined by their belongings. Their iPhone 5, Audi A4, B&O stereo, Barratt semi home, Superdry jacket, Nike trainers, Sennheiser headphones etc. etc.

      I fear that the human race has lost the plot. Consumerism gone wild.

      1. Shades
        Stop

        Re: Oo

        Hey... I own an Audi A4! Leave us out of this!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oo

          To me Audi are the automotive Apple.

          Once interesting engineering, innovative, quirky.

          Now overpriced and so bought purely on the value of a trendy badge.

          Overpriced VWs vs overpriced x86 PCs / smartphones.

          Though, to be fair, I didn't see the same cultist behaviour outside the showrooms for the A1 launch.

          1. AntiPoser
            Happy

            Re: Oo

            That depends country to country....where I live Toyota Landcruiser rules.....or maybe it is that petrol is just so damn cheap....

        2. Shades
          WTF?

          Re: Oo

          PMSL at the thumbs down for simply stating the car I drive. I do wonder about some of the morons who frequent the comment sections sometimes.

          Personally I couldn't really give two shits what the downvoters think. Just for the record I bought it because, in my opinion, its a nice looking car, comfortable, returns respectable MPG for its size, reliable, tough as old boots (as I've found out!), and, most importantly was the right price for what it is. If I had of found a VW Passat or Skoda Octavia (all same platform) for a similar price (which would then probably mean more toys too) then chances are I'd have gotten one of those... or any other car that suited my requirements and budget. As it happens I found the Audi, liked it, bought it. The four rings on the front could fall off tomorrow for all I really care!

          Now, once you've finished downvoting this you can go back to your pathetic little Android Vs iPhone or OSX Vs Windows Vs Linux arguments downvote each other 'til your hearts content and leave the grown ups to talk.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Oo

            "PMSL at the thumbs down for simply stating the car I drive"

            You misunderstand - you didn't get downvoted for stating what car you drive. You got downvoted for driving an Audi.

            If you really MUST tell people you drive an Audi, don't mention that it's the Mondeo-level one.

            1. Shades
              Facepalm

              Re: Oo

              "You got downvoted for driving an Audi."

              Just goes to show that pricks on the internet aren't exclusive to porn sites! Some people really need to get a life. Its playground level stuff... but then again, we are talking about people who argue and slag each other off about their choices of phones, computers, OS, etc.

          2. L.B.
            Happy

            Re: Oo

            Just a little correction: the Skoda Octavia is based on the Golf, not the Passat. The Passat/A4 is a little wider and longer. Other than that I agrre with you're attitude, when making any purchase you compare and decide within you chosen budget.

            I really liked the A4 (and A6) but decide to get the Passat Estate and save myself about £4K. The Audi's are a higher build quality than the VWs, just as the VW's are higher than the Skoda and Seat brands. The benefits of one are not always obvious or very noticeable, but can mean fewer faults, better crash safety, more space/comfort, quieter, etc...

            Personally I see nothing wrong with any of these purchases as there are actual benefits to paying more depending on the users requirements. For me having a large reliable estate car is essential for my hobbies, and the level of comfort and room for passengers was the deciding factor (ie: Passat over Golf).

            Almost none of this applies to a sodding mobile phone! Particularly when the retards buying them have not even seen or held one let along tried to use the damned thing before handing over the cash. When I see these sad schmucks it just confirms my belief that about 70% of the human race are complete morons, and that P.T. Barnum was dead right.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Oo

              "......and that P.T. Barnum was dead right."

              I presume that you are referring to the quote "there's a sucker born every minute" which has been accreted to PT...

              I would just to point out that it is a misquote, and that family, friends and business colleagues all agree that the above quote is something that he would never have said.... the quote would more likely to have been "there’s a customer born every minute"

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oo

          "Hey... I own an Audi A4! Leave us out of this!"

          no, now fuck off over there with the other appletards !!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oo

        It's not just consumerism. You just have to look at the banal wars and their causes, whether that be power, greed or religion. People everywhere suffer from brain washing.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oo

        "Their iPhone 5, Audi A4, B&O stereo, Barratt semi home, Superdry jacket, Nike trainers, Sennheiser headphones etc. etc."

        What's wrong with the A4 (excellent car by all accounts)? Is the issue that you want one and can't afford it?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Down

          Re: Oo

          What's wrong with the A4 (excellent car by all accounts)? Is the issue that you want one and can't afford it?

          Could walk into the showroom tomorrow and get one if I so desired. Would I want one though? No.

          I don't buy in to the "german == best" marketing hype.

          Always been cynical of marketing, whether it is telling me what car to drive, queue for iPhones etc.

          Not everyone wants to splunk their hard earned away on branding. That kinda ties into my original point.

      4. illiad

        Sir Wiggum Re: Oo

        not only brainwashed, but they mostly don't have a clue how to operate most of the iphone features, what they are, or even exist!! (compared to other phones...) :O

        usual conversation with my 'non tech' friend..

        Thats a good pic, can you send it???

        OK switch on yer bluetooth...

        whats that???

        <groan> its too big to txt you, got email??

        huh???

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oo

        Are you sure you are not describing yourself here?

        I own an iPhone 4S. It replaced a nokia 6310i. That's it as far as your list goes. Hi-Fi? Designed and built the amp in 1972 (Class A) paired with some Quad Electrostatics. Car? 2004 Saab Estate bought 2nd hand in 2006. Home? Built in 1885, well pre Barratt 'Little Box' etc etc etc. BTW, the phone will probably not be replaced for 2-3 years.I

        You might class me as a fanboi but there is no way I actually fit into your visual image of one but hey don't let your biggotry get in the way of objectiveness.

        Please try to think outside your own little box and loot at the real world out there. The phone works for me. End of story.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not Normal in the slightest. Even for Apple products

      You don't see people queing for days on end to get the newest imac, but when it comes to the iphone they'll take the week off work and stand in the pissing rain to buy it on release day morning.

      1. My Alter Ego
        Facepalm

        Re: Not Normal...

        I didn't even know it was being released today until a courier delivered one to a colleague. Seriously, are people's lives so empty that they need a stranger to applaud their purchase of a phone? Are these people using holiday time to queue for something they can buy online or in any other phone shop?

  4. Displacement Activity
    Happy

    "China has a one child policy," he shouted to the crowd, "which is a problem because we need as many Chinese people as possible, to assemble iPhone 5s."

    Great, but so much better as

    "China has a one child policy," he shouted to the crowd, "which is a problem because we need as many Chinese children as possible, to assemble iPhone 5s."

    1. Piro

      Ah yes

      That fits nicely. Just like their tiny hands on the tiny components.

      Back to the topic at hand: goodness me, do they know how crazy they look to everyone else? Oh well, if they're having fun, I guess it's harmless..

    2. Taomyn
      Facepalm

      Sorry, but China hasn't had a "one child policy" in quite a while - funny how the mainstream media won't report this because it serves them too well.

      In fact the Chinese government is actively encouraging families to have more children as it's begun to realise, in a much bigger way than say Europe, that their population is ageing very rapidly.

      1. Skizz
        WTF?

        What!

        "In fact the Chinese government is actively encouraging families to have more children as it's begun to realise, in a much bigger way than say Europe, that their population is ageing very rapidly"

        Is time running faster in China? Maybe they're just trying to get to the future first so than can patent everything before anyone else.

      2. Kit-Fox
        Stop

        China does still offically have a one child policy in effect. The difference is that now it is not so rigourously policed & enforced.

        The chinese state prefering to fine those who have more than one child instead of castration. But it is still in effect & they do still pursue people over having more than one child.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        one child policy

        Yes, they do. But the punishment has changed. It's now a fine which equates to around 15x your salary or around 150000 ukp. Whichever is the most amount... I'm sure my figures will ne corrected by one of their officials (its sort of fair...rich get equally hit by ratio in general...and if you really really want to have one, you can....like houses in the UK ;) )

  5. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Each to their own I guess

    Me?

    Coffee - computer - order products (NOT Apple though!) - go back to Real Life (TM) and then await delivery. Ah. so sedate and relaxing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Each to their own I guess

      This.

      I can't help feeling that heckling twats in queues is just as pathetic as queueing for one though.

      1. Peter Storm

        Re: Each to their own I guess

        Especially when you find out the hypocritical prick actually owned an iphone.

      2. Tom 35 Silver badge

        Re: Each to their own I guess

        I would not say it was pathetic, but it's kind of unsporting. It's easier then shooting fish in a barrel.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Each to their own I guess

        "Re: Each to their own I guess

        This.

        I can't help feeling that heckling twats in queues is just as pathetic as queueing for one though."

        WOW You must be a hoot at parties!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Each to their own I guess

      As much as I disapprove of this nonsense / iBrainwashing, delivery isn't much better.

      Coffee - computer - order products (NOT Apple though!) - go back to Real Life (TM) and then await delivery.

      Find note that they have "tried" to deliver. Phone up and they don't know where it is. Is it in the van? Is it in the depot? Re-arrange delivery. You find it thrown over the fence, either broken or handset missing.

      Give up and try and get it from the US. It sits in customs for 3 weeks. You never get the customs note. Chase down royal mail, they don't have a clue or try and fob you off to the original sender.

  6. TRT Silver badge

    Somehow...

    I sense that the fervour is no longer about the product itself but the experience of buying it; a sort of retail equivalent of mass hysteria. Totally bizarre, IMHO.

    People, we have gone beyond the OOBE. Now is the time of the BOOBE*.

    *I was toying with BYBE (Before You Buy Experience), but went for the cheap nork reference instead.

    1. Hieronymus Howerd

      Re: Somehow...

      Yay for norks.

      1. Synonymous Howard
        Pint

        Re: Somehow...

        Yeah for knorks, as well!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

    Facebook comments from one acquaintance...

    "Outside Apple store, trying to get my hands on the new iPhone 5" ... (7 hours ago)

    "honestly it's a disappointment. Didn't really like it." ... (2 hours ago)

    1. Piro

      Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

      But Apple doesn't give a damn, they got them frenzied up to spend a ton of money or lock themselves into a shitty contract.

    2. Heathroi
      Facepalm

      Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

      Astonishing!!!! usually the inwardly disappointed one just shuts up about poorly thought out purchases.

      1. TraceyC
        Meh

        Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

        "Astonishing!!!! usually the inwardly disappointed one just shuts up about poorly thought out purchases."

        Sometimes, going to stupid lengths to get an iThingie and then telling anyone who'll listen how you returned it within 30 days because it was disappointing is just another form of attention seeking. It's something a friend of mine did with a previous iPhone. He is also the kind of guy who posts passive aggressive vague statuses in IM and FacePlant for the attention.

        Personally, I laugh at people queuing for iThingies as much as I do shoppers who queue at 3 a.m. on Black Friday to try to avoid being trampled while being one of the first to get in the store. I just wish the media would quit salivating all over iThingies and balance their reporting between tech devices.

  8. g e
    Holmes

    El Reg gave the V5 phone 90%

    Which seemed a bit odd to me as that's extremely high for anything and we already know it's really a bit of an iphone 4s+ spec-wise. Syndicated from a fansite review perhaps?

    Snazzy new hardware with less functional software, Shakespeare's Birthplace has been eradicated among other places, apparently, in the new ios6 craps maps

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Gimp

    mentalists

    There won't be queues next year. Not if they're following Apple maps to find the place.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      Re: mentalists

      You do realise that Apple slightly irradiates their iDevices, causing a so-called 'designer-cancer' that will slowly metastasise around a person's sense-of-self-worth and/or wallet and will act as a sort of homing-device. They could build an Apple store on the North Pole and still people would queue up to get a new phone, hell, they'd be grateful because the lines will be shorter there.

    2. davemcwish

      Re: mentalists

      @mentalists Oh they'll find their way to upgrade again to "The iPhone5s - now with improved maps". Based on Apple's char (http://www.apple.com/iphone/compare-iphones/) it will also have the A7 processor and an upgraded camera.

      Anyone know how low a price the fanbois are having to set in order to offload their not quite shiny pretty 4 and 4s things ?

  10. mark 63 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    manager: "Ok team , orders from the top - you've got to get out there and run up and down acting like a dick. This will make the idiots out there feel their brainwashed moronic actions are validated! GO TEAM!

  11. mark 63 Silver badge
    Joke

    crazy

    New marketing slogan:

    You dont have to be crazy to buy apple, but it helps!

  12. mark l 2 Silver badge

    I just don't get why you would queue up for hours to buy any product unless it was extremely limited one time only offer and even then i would have to weigh up whether my time would be better spent working (so making more money) or doing something more pleasurable such as spending time with family and friends.

    Its not like you get a 'better' phone by getting it first, in effect your really a beta tester if your the first to buy as issues that weren't noticed during testing won't be ironed out until a few weeks or even months after you got your phone with software updates.

    1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

      You've made the mistake of thinking there's logic involved.

      This is closer to an impulse buy, or those auction houses you see (usually with bouncers on the door) where the crowd are hyped up and start throwing their money at the auctioneer only to find they got a bag with a load of cheap tat in it.

      It has no logic whatsoever. Even if you're a massive fan, there's no need to buy on day one (which will be the HARDEST day to find one on, without having to queue madly). But this isn't about logic as much as fashion and society. These people feel "accepted" by being able to have a privileged early look at a device that is basically hype. That acceptance is reinforced by high-fiving idiots and cheering, and the way their friends all ask to see their new phone when they get home, etc.

      Compare it to, say, a Star Trek fan who will queue for hours and go to extraordinary lengths and even pay to get an autograph from, say, Leonard Nimoy, something which is financially worthless. They will rave about it to their friends who are also similarly obsessed (and thus will be impressed, cooing and provide status to the holder of the autograph, etc.) but everyone else is looking on like they're a bunch of nutters. Same thing, different product.

      It's about acceptance into a clique. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the device itself.

      1. Tom 11
        Holmes

        Flawless analogy, Lee.

  13. kirovs
    WTF?

    Fanatics

    Next thing- we would not be allowed to post photos of Steve Jobs and there will be riots over movies ridiculing Steve Jobs and Apple. Apple trees would be revered and people eating apples would be stoned to death.

    1. John G Imrie Silver badge

      Re: Fanatics

      You are encouraged to take one bite out of the apple. After that you must go and buy the next one.

  14. mark 63 Silver badge
    Mushroom

    When I rise to power people who queue for iphones will be second against the wall. First will be people who watch Jersey Shore et al

    1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

      Can you include anyone who uses management phrases too?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Some nice blue sky thinking there. Anyone who uses management phrases would just be low hanging fruit come the revolution, reach out and touch base with the synergy of the baying mob, instill a team dynamic to deliver post-civilisation solutions.

        1. Shades
          Pint

          Sir Wiggum

          <<< is for you.

          Now please excuse me while I go take a shower. I know you were being facetious but I still feel dirty.

        2. ChrisBoy

          Just as long...

          ... as we're all pissing on the same fireworks.

      2. Archibald Trumpetbeetle
        Devil

        Benchmarked against best-in-class peers, your comment is a top quartile performer, and moving forward I will seek to leverage the upvote button.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cash talks

    The best line of mugs money can buy.

    Does anyone else sense that changing of the wind, where the apple zealots are no longer praised, but derided? So many people saying "I'd rather have the SIII".

    What happens when you try to overprice a mid range phone.

    1. nematoad Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Cash talks

      They don't care, they are true believers.

      Somebody should have shouted at them "It's only a bloody mobile, not the Second Coming." Though on second thoughts maybe it is to them, second or fifth coming anyway.

  16. Def Silver badge

    I *need* an iPhone5

    For testing. I'm not going to buy one though.

    In fact, I don't know which phone I'm going to buy next. Nokia: too heavy, Apple: too boring, Samsung: too big, HTC 8X?

    1. johnnytruant

      Re: I *need* an iPhone5

      I'd suggest looking at Sony's Xperia range. The hardware is good quality, the design distinct, the camera tech is in a different league to anyone else and they even make a non-huge model for those of us who don't like carrying around huge slabs of glass.

      1. Graham Dawson

        Re: I *need* an iPhone5

        I can do nothing but praise the Xperia Pro and Mini Pro, though the mini was a bit too dinky for my big rough workman's hands.

        But I suppose I'm partial given that the Pro was purchased almost entirely because it felt like my old n900. Now that was a marvelous phone.

        1. pepper

          Re: I *need* an iPhone5

          Would you saw the Xperia is a viable replacement for a N900? I dont want to get rid of it yet but one day will come when it will need replacement.

          1. Graham Dawson

            Re: I *need* an iPhone5

            By and large, yes. I use it for some writing, occasionally for SSH with connectbot. If you root it you can even install a debian chroot and have all your linuxy apps there to play with, though there are a few limitations on that method.

            1. pepper

              Re: I *need* an iPhone5

              Aah good to know, how would you compare the Debian environment to the N900 Debian installation? Also, does it have Android and if so how easy is it to remove any snooping utilities from google?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I *need* an iPhone5

      The Nokia is heavy due to the decent build quality and large battery.

      Samsung have a big battery and lower weight by having very flimsy construction. Almost like a Subaru Imprezza, good engine, flimsy bodywork.

      1. Def Silver badge

        Re: I *need* an iPhone5

        The Nokia is overly heavy though. I'm sure it's a great piece of kit, and I am still going to check it out when it's in the shops, however, I'm currently carrying an N73 and an iPod touch around in my pockets. It's lighter than those two, but not by much and at least I can put them in different pockets.

        Never buying anything by Sony ever again. Been there, done that. Fuck 'em.

  17. Mike Judge
    Stop

    Samaritans will be busy tonight..

    one they discover that the iPhone5 is not all it's cracked up to be, and rather shit and overpriced compared to competing high end Android handsets..

    Lets hope they can actually find the local Samaritan's with the shitty mapping solution provided.

    1. VinceH Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Samaritans will be busy tonight..

      "Lets hope they can actually find the local Samaritan's with the shitty mapping solution provided."

      Well, on the bright side, they won't be able to find any bridges to jump off.

  18. ukgnome Silver badge

    Just one question

    The line of sad individuals queuing, where do they poop?

    1. ukgnome Silver badge

      Re: Just one question

      I wouldn't usually answer my own question, but I have just been told they poop in their hands and then clap?

      Dumb fookers

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge

        Re: Just one question

        Pooping in their hands... ... and then high-fiving the Apple Store staff.

        Now that would be worth watching.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just one question

      "Just one question

      The line of sad individuals queuing, where do they poop?"

      Out of their mouths.

    3. Squarebob Spongepants
      Happy

      Re: Just one question

      Surely as Apple users they'd have their own iToilet

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLrT9EQqcbk

  19. Furbian
    Go

    There's a 'queuing' paradox here.

    I for one cannot understand why anyone would want to queue for anything, because I hate queuing, unless I have company. On occasions I have even left queues after running out of patience or buying something else with a shorter queue, when it comes to food that is, not phones. I buy on-line, so the only queues I face in my life are for food, or passport control, 'security' etc. at airports.

    So these Apple fans are actually showing a great deal of patience, which I do consider admirable in an odd sort of way.

    1. Jim Coleman
      Meh

      Re: There's a 'queuing' paradox here.

      But surely they're queueing because they're IMPATIENT - they won't wait for an online purchase to deliver and they have to have it RIGHT NOW

    2. Lee Dowling Silver badge

      Re: There's a 'queuing' paradox here.

      I, too, deny my British heritage and refuse to queue unless absolutely necessary.

      I don't queue for products. I buy something else, elsewhere, which is readily available, or wait for the queue to disappear (and get on with my life in the meantime)

      I don't queue for food. If you can't be bothered to serve me in X amount of time, or put enough staff on, there's a high chance the kitchen is understaffed, the food is undercooked, the floors are under-washed and the stock under-checked.

      I don't "get" queuing. If your product is so fabulous, you'll have made it easy for me to get. If your restaurant is so great, you won't keep me waiting or let a queue build up without informing people of their waiting time. If your bank is so wonderful for my savings, why can't you afford another cashier on the front-line?

      I generally leave others to queue if they want (even people I'm queuing with - I have walked away from friends in queues in the past, got something else and came back to stand with them while I eat it. Their willpower seldom holds out to the front of the queue so they can buy something for themselves to eat...). My patience is limited in that, despite being near-infinite in other regards. I have not only left queues, I have left them vocally. I have stood in the front of a queue of 2 for ten minutes before being served only to tell them, quite clearly and unnecessarily loudly, to stuff it (because they were messing about behind the bar with a makeshift paper-ball football rather than serve me, despite having seen me waiting), and have them chase me down the street to try and serve me (I pointed out that if you take ten minutes to say a word to me, how long are my food/drink going to take after I've paid you?). The guy behind me was silly enough to want to take advantage and I hope they served him quicker than me, I really do. I'd *hate* to think he was in there for 20 minutes still waiting for his order after managing to gain one place in the queue.

      A queue is a useful, necessary concept in some things. Other times it's wasteful and insulting to your customers. I'd rather go back to a place that closed the queues off once they hit ten minutes so they can actually serve people without disappointing than one with an eleven-minute, unmanaged queue.

      Not once have I personally felt hard-done-by by this principle either.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There's a 'queuing' paradox here.

      I think that the real queuing paradox regarding the iPhone release is that if there was no queue, people wouldn't queue. People only queue because there is a queue. If that makes any sense at all.

      In other words, it's a feedback loop - people only queue, because there is a queue and if there is a queue it (the product) must be worth queuing for. Or something.

  20. nematoad Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Apple = cult

    Proof positive that Apple IS a cult, look at all the sad deluded people worshipping at the altar of Jobs.

    Pathetic

    1. daiakuma

      Re: Apple = cult

      Agreed.

      "Apple is crazy, you have to be crazy for Apple"

      Substitute Jesus for Apple, and that's exactly what members of whacko evangelical cults say.

      Steve Jobs appears to have studied the manipulative psychological techniques that cults use, and applied them systematically in Apple's marketing strategy.

  21. bolccg
    Stop

    Ugh

    This is just weird. Regardless of the phone or product or company or whatever, people need to keep a sense of perspective.

    More than anything though, it's just not British, is it?

    1. Mike 102
      FAIL

      Re: Ugh

      I diasgree. Isn't queuing one of the things we are famous for?

      1. bolccg
        Happy

        Re: Ugh

        Yeah, that's the travesty - they've ruined a perfect opportunity for a nice low key, well ordered queue! :)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ugh

        "I disagree. Isn't queuing one of the things we are famous for?"

        No this is not a queue, this is a bunch of retards squatting in the streets, then acting like zealots from a moron cult, who then having been fleeced go home to fondle there little black slabs.

        A queue: is an orderly line used to ensure people are served and in the order they arrived. Its main object is to ensure fairness, and that is why the English hate queue jumpers, which is something we associate with uncouth johnny foreigners.

  22. Ottman001
    Black Helicopters

    These are people who, for whatever reason, have failed to develop a healthy cynicism of marketing. Maybe they are actually a bit dim, but that is just my hypothesising. Regardless, they have allowed themselves to fall completely pray to Apples marketing and have not only dispensed with their cash for the product but have allowed themselves to be recruited as agents by the Apple marketing team.

    Apple have been successful in brainwashing some of these people for years now. At some point, one or two of them may have an independent thought and that scares Apple. Once that happens, it won't take long before there is descent amongst the ranks of the iCult. They need to reinforce in the minds of their minions, that the iPhone is the one true smartphone and false idols must not be worshipped. That's what the high-fiving is all about, feel good reinforcement to 'cure' any doubts.

    As for me, I believe I am what marketing men refer to as "a lost cause". I have developed supremely advanced cynicism.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not just London

    Victoria Square they were queued up since 11pm last night

    http://www.u.tv/News/Overnight-queues-in-Belfast-for-iPhone5/2f664fd6-e516-4417-892d-36fe371d89dc

    The next Apple story...

    http://www.u.tv/News/Apple-app-creates-airport-at-Dublin-farm/0e06ea34-0cb9-4938-95b3-e58889aac75f

  24. Arthur the cat Silver badge
    Trollface

    Moonies, Scientologists and Apple Fanbois ...

    what a bunch of cults. (Good job this isn't the Grauniad.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Moonies, Scientologists and Apple Fanbois ...

      So Android users aren't like that either?

      I would say many of them are, many of them will not look at a Windows Phone either. So they are just as obsessive about Android despite WP being better for those who are into gaming and Google being pretty evil too.

  25. Valerion

    Sensationalism

    Sub-Headline: "I want it NOW!", fangirl shrieks

    Actual article text: "I want it now!" the woman beamed.

    1. daiakuma

      Re: Sensationalism

      Maybe she was beaming as she shrieked. Quite probable, actually.

  26. Ben Rosenthal

    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

  27. Tom 38 Silver badge

    One wonders why you don't get quite the same level of piss take at similar events for Xbox, PS3, even some games...

    1. Mike 102
      Paris Hilton

      or even why some people don't let facts get in the way of giving someone/something a good bashing.

      These people are not harming anyone by queuing up. I dont understand why people need to be quite so mean.

      Oh hold on, it's human nature..I guess like some state being guilible is human nature....

      I too can make up a load of nonsense too.

    2. mark 63 Silver badge

      quite the same level of piss take

      you do from me!

      now that its being done more the level of derision will rise

      especially games - that black ops queing was sad indeed.

      Wasnt there a video of someone coming out the shop with their Xbox and smashing it to pieces in front of the horrified queue?

      I used to think that was a waste but now i think its money well spent. maybe it'll make some of those morons think what they're doing.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But we doo take the piss out of them!

      The big difference is that the main stream media don't wet themselve over the "news" to the same degree.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    *shrugs* Fan behavior (as in hardcore fan, not "I like this" fan), I've traveled to a good few countries and queued many an hour to see my top jpop idols and I can't even take those home with me!

    1. Rukario
      Paris Hilton

      But they're only holograms anyway!

      (Paris, not quite Hatsune Miku.)

  29. Alfie
    Happy

    Black Books

    Reminds me of the episode where Manny leaves Black Books to work at the new bookstore next door. Simon Pegg was excellent as the store manager full of management speak trying to get him to cut his hair and get him to wear the corporate uniform. So nice to see life imitating art.

  30. DEAD4EVER
    WTF?

    apple fanboys

    this shows how sad and pathetic all apple freaks have become to sit and wait outside a store for a whole week is just beyond a joke they do realise that all the leaks they might of seen on-line were pretty much accurate so much for apples secrecy eh lol. as for apple well Steve jobs ant around personally I hope android kills apple

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: apple fanboys

      > I hope android kills apple

      That's hardly pro-choice is it? most of us want competition and choice to keep prices down and to stop monopoly abuse.

      Your beloved Android would have been like a primitive Blackberry OS with a tiny screen, qwerty keypad and a stylus were it not for the iPhone 1.

      Search for "Android prototype" and look at the images. It was never originally going to become a large touch screen phone until the success of the iPhone 1 (which everyone said would be a failure and it wasn't).

      1. Mark .

        Re: apple fanboys

        Styluses were never required. Personally I like a stylus as an addition, and wish more phones came with them. You do realise the Android Galaxy Note has a stylus?

        Plenty of phones did have QWERTY keyboards, and plenty didn't. Just as was the case before Apple. So I don't see how anything changed there (QWERTY keyboards have no become less common, but that's a lot more recently that they phased out - so more due to the popularity of Symbian or Android, than Apple way back in 2007).

        Tiny screen? Let's see, Android has increased all the way up to 4.8" or even 5.5", whilst Apple stuck at 3.5" for years, and finally get an increase to 4", and you say we should thank Apple? Screen sizes have been increasing since the early 2000s.

        And even if any of these points were true - that's nothing compared to all the things that came first in other phones. I'll thank Apple, the day that I see Iphone users thanking other companies. But I never do.

        "iPhone 1 (which everyone said would be a failure and it wasn't)."

        Nope, the complete opposite. The near entire media hyped it months before release and claimed it would change everything and be most successful (whilst other full screen touchscreen devices were ignored). The reality? It was outsold massively by Symbian, and even BlackBerry and WinMo. Even one single Nokia model sold comparable to original Iphone (the 5800), even though that was just one of countless Nokia phones. Sales grew slowly to finally become reasonable around 2010, but it was never the number one platform.

        No it didn't *fail* as such, but hardly anyone claimed that, and most product releases from multinationals don't fail, even if they don't become number one. WinMo wasn't a failures either, for example, even though it never became number one.

  31. RainForestGuppy

    I think you should lay off these fanbois who have queue to buy a upgrade to an out of date product.

    It's obvious that the don't get out much and probably have little social interaction apart from poking people on facebook and talking to SIRI.

    It means that once a year they can emerge into the sunlight and meet there "Friends" in the blue shirts at the Apple store.

    1. illiad

      mega geeks...:)

      they are very like this...ROFL LOL

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZwx1zDTsSI

  32. Andy-Klockweiss
    Happy

    Imported Americanisms

    This brings back to mind doing one of those sales presentations in Florida, where they give you a free family theme park ticket for attending.

    So we all had our free breakfast, and very nice it was too, a short 20min video, then a tour of the apartments c/w swimming pool, club and golf course, that were being touted. Then back to the breakfast room for the "hard sell". This was the laughable bit.

    Every so often a guy would come on the mic to announce to the room full of people, "We would like to welcome Mr & Mrs Moronic Imbecile to our community," . . . at which point all the "hard sell" sales people would all burst into euphoric applause. Clearly implying these crappy apartments were selling like hot cakes and we were to be swept up in this hysteria and buy one - in yer dreams mate!

    To finish, the 'junior' soon exhausted all her arm twisting techniques against our stone wall and passed us to the 'senior'. He soon recognised a lost cause much quicker than the junior did and handed over the voucher and off we zoomed to the intended theme park, had a fantastic day.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Imported Americanisms

      I was thinking along similar lines myself.

      Whatever happened to the concept of the good old British "stiff upper lip"? —where, upon hearing that he had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and that his entire family had been killed in a train crash, a "chap" might permit himself a slight furrow of the brow and a "dashed bad luck!", uttered between clenched teeth.

      OK. Maybe that kind of behaviour is a bit stultifying but surely there's a happy medium that folk could adopt? Somewhere between expressing all the emotion of a cardboard cut-out and the 'Merkin style cavorting round, whooping and hollering like Steve Ballmer on LSD, every time someone waves the appropriate flag or badge in your face.

  33. Amorous Cowherder
    Facepalm

    Whatever floats your boat!

    I walked to work from Warren Street to Victoria this morning, there was about 30 people queueing outside the O2 shop on Oxford Street and only about 50 odd outside the Apple store on Regent Street this was around 7:15am. So you could happily join the queues at 7:30 on release day if you really were that desperate!

    Still, live and let live, each to their own!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whatever floats your boat!

      Most people just order them online. The online ordering this time had much more capacity so was quite quick and of course easy. Phone arrived today - job done.

      1. Jim Coleman
        FAIL

        Re: Whatever floats your boat!

        I hope you know how to get to your office and don't have to rely on your shiny new maps app

  34. Miek
    Linux

    So, do you still have to wait in the queue if you want to buy a dongle or something other than an iPhone5?

    1. Christopher Rogers
      Pirate

      bloody good question. How miffed would you be if you had to stand behind those bound-to-be-stinking fanbois just to buy a new cover for your 4s??

      1. Miek
        Linux

        ... and would I get a High Five for doing so ? I hope they will wash their hands first.

  35. alanturingslefteyebrow
    Black Helicopters

    Shopper plants?

    Maybe some of those enthusiastic shoppers were Apple plants, intended to make other genuine shoppers not feel so bad about behaving like obsessives.

  36. Peter Mount
    WTF?

    Maidstone didn't have queues

    Carphone warehouse was open early this morning & had a few inside as I walked past to get the train - but no one queueing.

    The funny thing was getting stopped outside & being asked why they were open - so Apples PR machine hasn't brainwashed everyone ;-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maidstone didn't have queues

      No just people are happy to order online - I queued once but after that just order online. My iPhone 5 arrived just after 9am - job done.

      They pre-sold 2x more than the iPhone 4 which was already well up on the iPhone 3 so I suspect many more are doing the same.

      1. Jim Coleman
        Joke

        Re: Maidstone didn't have queues

        Looking forward to seeing lots of Audi A4s driving into rivers and colliding with tower blocks then.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maidstone didn't have queues

      I remember the original iPhone launch. I worked at CPW head office and we were all asked to help with the iPhone launch.

      The launch was as 6:02 (o2 were the launch partner) on a Friday evening in november. Stores had shut at 4.00PM to allow time to put the Jesus phone on display and set up the marketing materials.

      I was assigned to a large CPW store on a retail park to help with queue control. Unfortunetly the rest of the retail park had shut so there was nobody around. We had 3 people in the Queue, 1 was waiting until the store reopened to pick up a repair, and the other 2 wanted Blackberrys.

      I was almost having to drag people off the street to have a look at the bloody iPhone, we gave it until 7.30pm then shut up and went home.

  37. Daniel Owen

    What are other phone suppliers doing wrong?

    If Apple can have fans like this, whether it's sad/obsessive/lots of other adjectives, then what are other manufacturers failing to do? Clearly it's either a superior product or superior marketing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What are other phone suppliers doing wrong?

      "If Apple can have fans like this, whether it's sad/obsessive/lots of other adjectives, then what are other manufacturers failing to do? Clearly it's either a superior product or superior marketing."

      I suspect you are quite young?

    2. CCCP
      Holmes

      Re: What are other phone suppliers doing wrong?

      @Daniel Owen

      With the risk of being shot down, here is my tuppence:

      1) The disproportionate media attention since the first iPhone fans the fanboi flames

      - Funnily enough, none of the other iShiny launches get that level of focus

      2) Apple have fewer phone launches, ergo a longer build up time

      3) Apple have retail focal points through their stores - great for fanbois and media pics/stories

      - Yes, others have them too, but have far more product lines, e.g. Sony

      4) All Apple phones are firmly premium in position/price, probably driving desire to own

      5) Speculative: Apple drips/leaks stories and controls their PR

      [disclaimer: I was a sort of fanboi, now too jaundiced to give a feck]

      1. mark 63 Silver badge

        premium price

        "4) All Apple phones are firmly premium in position/price, probably driving desire to own"

        For me when something costs 5 times what its compettitors cost thats not an incentive to buy one!

        but then again I'm not an apple queueing loon!

        or a designer label freak

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: premium price

          This is just BS - it's not 5x the price if you are comparing like-for-like. Most people are buying these on a 18-24 month contract and in reality the 'difference' in price between an iPhone 5 and a S3 may be £0-5 per month.

          1. mark 63 Silver badge

            Re: premium price

            maybe slight egg saturation - i'm on the verge of moving to a smartphone so been looking around - S3 around £25 pm , i5 about £45

            but i'm going for an S2 at £15pm

            Their mp3 players are in that ratio though arnt they?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: premium price

              There's a good reason for that. iPhone users have been shown to be larger data users. Given the amount of money the App Store makes vs Google and Blackberry it shows that a lot of iPhone users buy and download on the move. So this is why the contracts cost more.

              Android users just download all their hookey apps and music at home, so don't use as much data.

          2. Mark .

            Re: premium price

            I got the S3 a few months ago (soon after release) on £31/month 21 month contract (Vodafone). Honest question - what' s the Iphone 5 available for? When I looked, even the old 4S was generally on much more expensive contracts, but maybe it's different this time round.

            Remember that even £5 a month is £120, a significant proportion of the full price of these phones. Sure, that might not be overpriced by a huge amount, but that's not the same thing as saying they cost the same. (And I can afford an extra £5/month. I'd just rather do something else with it, than give it to Apple.)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: premium price

          Five times?

          So an Apple phone SIM-free costs £2000? rubbish. The iPhone is about £50-100 more at most than a comparable premium Android phone.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What are other phone suppliers doing wrong?

      Well, they need to have a branded store for starters. Nobody in their right mind queues outside the Carphone Warehouse or Phones4u. I don't even like going into their stores when they're open, never mind hanging around outside.

  38. HP Cynic

    It's tragic enough when American Apple staff "high five" complete strangers who are about to buy a massively overpriced product from their company, but part of me recoils in horror to see Brits engaging in the same behavior.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's all a bit of fun and just because you don't like it does not mean everyone should not like it.

      Also 'overpriced' - that's a matter of opinion - you could factor in TCO and come up with different figures but if people are happy to buy the phone I assume they do not consider it overpriced.

      If you are in the market for a simple candybar phone - sure it's an expensive phone - but if you are using the phone for a few hours a day and your last one lasted 4 years (many of my friends have a 3GS and are now upgrading) is it really that expensive?

      I could say smoking is massively overpriced as I don't smoke so it has no / negative value to me - but to someone who smokes...?

      1. Mark .

        TCO? I mean what, you think that people using Android have to spend time as network admins on their phones, or uninstalling viruses? Or what?

        Yes, I factor in TCO, and still would consider it overpriced.

        No, it isolation it's perhaps not overpriced in what it offers, but we could say that with any technology, by noting that people used to buy it even when it was more expensive. So if people happily bought a 286 at £1000 in ~1990, by your logic, a 286 computer today wouldn't be overpriced at £1000.

        But that's silly. Clearly when we judge whether something is a fair price, we should compare to the competition too. So it doesn't matter how many hours a day you use it, you can still do the same (or more) with less overpriced phones.

        As an added bonus, you don't have to queue for years for features like 4" screen and maps.

  39. Mark .

    Why queue?

    Why join a queue of hundreds? Like 100s of millions of others, I'm already enjoying all these features on another platform. And I didn't have to queue for my Android phone either - since good new phones are released all year round rather than every year or two, there's no need to wait for any particular release.

    Of course, I'm sure it's more about the experience - but seriously, I have to wonder at people who spend their time to give free marketing to one of the richest companies in the world. If you want to donate time, aren't there better causes?

    (Love the new Samsung adverts btw - http://sammyhub.com/2012/09/20/new-galaxy-s-iii-ad-jabs-at-apple-users/ .)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why queue?

      Samsung are just sick people do not care enough to queue. They would kill to get half the customer loyalty as Apple.

      People queue for all sorts of things - tickets to concerts, sales... it's a choice - you choose another phone and fine - but don't slag off other people who choose to do something else.

      1. BongoJoe
        FAIL

        Re: Why queue?

        The reason for queing for concert tickets, as used to be the norm if one wanted to see Genesis at the City Hall in the 70s, was that if you didn't queue overnight you didn't get a ticket.

        The same with Sales.that nifty three piece is a one-off at a massively discounted price so one had a better queue.

        As for queuing for a mass produced device which will be on sale for years to come, no, I can't help you there.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why queue?

        "People queue for all sorts of things - tickets to concerts, sales... it's a choice"

        the thing is, concert tickets, there are a finite number of tickets available, and queuing at the box office at the front of the queue gets you front row seats.... Queuing for a sale at the shops gets you a product that there are a very limited number of items available at a discount ..

        Queing for an Iphone on release day, you spend x amount of hours to get a product, no cheaper than you could have got it online. no cheaper than you will get it the following week. they wont run out, you can get one this week, next week or next month.....

        so your analogy is broken.... see i there is an app to fix that for you .!!

        1. Nuke
          Facepalm

          AC @ 21:36Re: Why queue?

          Wrote :-

          "so your analogy is broken" etc etc

          Wake up, AC!

          Bongo Joe was not making an analogy, he was making a point using irony. The very same point that you laboriously explain to us as if it needed explaining.

      3. TraceyC
        Trollface

        Re: Why queue?

        I haven't queued for concert tickets since the advent of ticket websites. I've never queued at a store to buy anything. I have less desire to these days, since the Internet makes finding the things I need at the price I'm willing to pay easier. The Internet is also where I bought my current phone, a Samsung. Technology & innovation, I love 'em. I don't know what you're smoking there, but you may want to lay off for a while. It might help you get out more & learn about the technology of this century.

  40. JDX Gold badge

    China has a one child policy

    >>"China has a one child policy," he shouted to the crowd, "which is a problem because we need as many Chinese people as possible, to assemble iPhone 5s."

    He's right. The one thing China needs is more people.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: China has a one child policy

      These people are not forced to work in the Foxconn factories - the FACT is they travel long distances to apply for jobs there. You have to ask yourself would they be better or worse off without those jobs...?

      Easy for people in the west to judge but I'd rather assemble iPhones for a decent wage to support me and my family than the other option - no work or 'exist' as a farmer.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is someone who takes the time to slag people off for queueing actually ANY better than those in the queue?

  42. 0laf Silver badge
    Facepalm

    FFS

    I know people are getting pissed off with the sheeple = ifanboi thing but seriously look at this. It's just a frickin phone ffs. Do you even know what you're queuing up to buy? Do you care?

  43. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Trollface

    Does this version...

    ... still recommend the Nokia Lumia 900 as "the best smartphone" http://money.msn.com/top-stocks/post.aspx?post=2d250427-e4e0-4014-891b-9db8ae9a9d19

  44. Hagglefoot
    Devil

    Baaaahhh!

    Baaahh baah baaaaaahhhhh! Baah! - Roughly translated 'is this the way to the butchers table'.

    Moo mooooo mooo mooo mooooooo! - Roughly translated 'no this is the way to the milking shed'.

    Animal farm anyone?

  45. Miek
    Linux

    Those photos of the queue are really awful quality, tell me, what camera/phone were you using?

  46. Kevin Turnquist

    Who's the bigger fool...

    ... the fools, or the fool who is yelling at them? That doesn't come across as 'normal' either - just a different kind of odd.

    I ordered the iPhone 5 a week ago, and it's on a vehicle now for delivery.

    I'm not sure if I'm a "fanboi" for getting one, but my primary decision point was the excellent accessibility features for the vision impaired. The other phones might have those, too, but I was given an iPhone 4, and can operate it without being able to see the screen - which I can't in sunlight or fluorescent lighting. They do make phones specifically for us blind squirrel types, but all the ones I actually laid hands on were crap.

  47. Dana W
    WTF?

    We have the postal service for this sort of thing.

    Ill get one. When the contract on the old one runs out. It will be mailed to me in a box by secure mail, just like the last two. And I won't have waited in a line.

    This eludes me, I like my Apple kit. But why not just wait an extra week or two and simply walk in and buy one like a normal person? They won't be running out, and there is plenty of time till Xmas.

  48. Bill Gould
    Trollface

    Handicapped

    These people are all "mentally handicapped" (to PC it up for general consumption). Absolute brainwashed raging retards is a plainer way to say it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Handicapped

      So are you for being unable to comprehend that some people buy things because they like them.

      Not everyone is a stereotype.

      People buy BMWs because they like the brand. The car itself may not be better performing than some top of the range Ford, but they like the appearance.

  49. Eponymous Bastard
    Mushroom

    Sheep

    The same people, or a similar demographic, are those who consume the shite that is served up as entertainment and broadcast to the world's television receivers these days. It's the sort of shite that is comparable to the entertainment provided by the freak shows of mankind's illustrious past. It WILL all end in tears and Jobs will be vilified; oh yeah, he already is. IWGMC and it will be made of bile proof material so you fanbois need not bother firing your excrement at me because it will slide off . . . . . hehehehehe.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    High Fives?

    This is what I loathe in American marketing. Fake enthusiasm.

    Genuine enthusiasm, over a bloody phone, is far, far, worse.

    Will the vomit removing operative please take the keyboard cleaning kit to Mr Thad's desk immediately. Vomit removing kit to Mr Thad's desk, please.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If only...

    ... Linux on the desktop was this popular...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If only...

      it is, its just that the equivalent fans don't like the leave their basements.

  52. Tom 12

    http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Apple-Iphone-5-Unlocked-Boxed-Sealed-With-Original-Apple-Receipt-32GB-/320986913598?pt=UK_Mobile_Phones&hash=item4abc4f9b3e

    This lunatic is asking £3k for an iphone 5, the world has gone mad.

    1. CRX-RULES

      Looks like he bought it just too sell and has failed miserably, so funny lol !

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why hate something norms enjoy?

    I sometimes think people hate Apple stuff just because it's popular, and that you can't readily steal software for it! :)

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Given all the lobbying Google does and the people paid to write negative things about Apple I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't someone hired by Google.

  55. Dana W
    Happy

    Why reply?

    This is the Android love in. Anyone who is not buying into Android hype, or indeed makes any other choice will be flamed and thumbed down.

    You know how these Android fanbois get,

    1. Nuke
      Holmes

      @ Dana WRe: Why reply?

      Wrote :-

      "Anyone who is not buying into Android hype, or indeed makes any other choice will be flamed and thumbed down."

      Well, lets test your theory :-

      1) I think people queing for iPhones are jerks (see my previous comments here)

      2) I do not have an Android.

      Now see if I get thumbed up or down ......

  56. J Lewter

    Wow

    Look at all of those people getting in line to return their Iphone 4s's!....

    Apple should buy a bank and call it Apple Rock.

  57. Glostermeteor

    Good for them, if they want to be happy let them.

    Although personally I think the iPhone 5 is a bit of a rip off and just other re-release of the same old tired design.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is this Pschology montly?

    I seem to have either stumbled into a forum for Psychologists, or a bunch of nerds have become overnight experts on the psychology of retail.

    Well, you all seem to know exactly why Apple are successful - and god forbid, it cant have anything to do with people actually liking the product for what it actually is . No, you'd have to re-evaluate all your values and sensibilities for that to be true!

    It's not possible for others, even a majority, to desire a different set of features, other than just technical prowess, is ? SURELY YOUR PENIS WILL SHRINK IF THIS WAS TRUE!

    Truth is, these are but a tiny fraction of the people that eventually buy i Devices. They have multiple reasons for queueing outside the shop to buy it on day one, and not all of them are mentally ill or hypnotised by mass consumerism.

    Its no different to the multitude of console launches, game launches, and even bloody burberry bag launches. People queued for months just to see The Phantom Menac for christ sake and, do you think they thought it was worth it? Does it matter that much to you?

    I see a daily rant from Fandroids who, ironically, religiously tirade against the Evil Apple, often quoting mantra that has more to do with the wild rantings of tech blogs like El Reg than reality, or PR guff from the likes of Samsugn or Google who, beneath that sheen of Free and GOod Will are actually just as greedy and corporate as APple ever were, only just not quite so trendy to bash. The simpering rage at "How Dare People Choose Hardware that Doesnt Fit My Model of Acceptability!" is no worse than someone gushing at the flange about the latest iShiny. It's just colored more than a generous helping of self righteousness and self satisfaction.

    For the record, I dont intend to get a iPhone 5, my eyes are firmly on the SG Note 2 - and I disagree with some elements of Apples policies, but I am not someone who feels the need to deconstruct the 'Competition' to justify my choices.

    Every time a Apple related article appears on Tech Blogs, swarms of Fandroids flood in to decry Aple. Even if it's just a review of an Android phone, swarms of Fandroids rush in foaming at the mouth.

    Ta ta for now, take your best shot....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is this Pschology montly?

      I'd have a go, but I fear my "best shot" would scarce make a dent in your barely literate tirade erudite prose.

  59. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    ?????????

    Erm, ????????????????????????

  60. Wolfclaw Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Sheep

    So sad that they don't have anything more important to do with their lives.

  61. CRX-RULES
    Megaphone

    Please say there is a video on them shouting iphone5 and doing high 5s i have to see that lol

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've only once queued up at a shop before opening time to buy an item of limited quantity..

    Back in 1997 it had become the must-have toy of the year, I queued up at Toys'R'Us just to get one from the first batch to enter into UK stores (quantities were limited and high demand meant they only allowed one unit per person, so I dragged my brother along to get two).

    What was it? - One of these

    Why am I posting anon? Because that year I emailed Childrens BBC when someone claimed to get theirs to age to 99 and told them that they cheated by using the ageing trick, and Kirsten O'Brien read my name out along with someone else who had emailed in. Afterwards I did get a couple of people on IRC who had seen it ask if that was me who emailed in :D

    1. Tom 38 Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: I've only once queued up at a shop before opening time to buy an item of limited quantity..

      You used your real name on IRC?

  63. Danny 5
    WTF?

    what can i say

    But thanks to the fanbois, for giving me continuous reminders of one of the reasons i hate apple so much.

    There's really little else to say, these people don't even see how close to cultist they've become.

  64. TwistUrCapBack
    WTF?

    6 words about apple

    yesterdays technology, at tomorrows prices, TODAY !!!!

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wrong queue

    They thought they were in the complaints queue to take it back!

  66. John A Blackley

    Crazy indeed

    I think people who line up to buy any phone on the day it's released are........... well, they think differently from me.

    Having said that, I think people who, over the course of a year, spend so much time and energy to piss and moan about one technology company and its products are equally......... different thinkers and they should all be treated in the same asylum.

    1. TraceyC
      Joke

      Re: Crazy indeed

      The people who complain about the complainers should be the same asylum, as well.

  67. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    I'd feel like...

    I'd feel like some kind of asshole (that's arsehole for you brits..) having people start cheering and clapping just because I walked into a store to buy a product. Just saying.

  68. PeterM42
    Megaphone

    It's all VERY SAD.....

    ....that there can be so MANY stupid people in the world.

    Just so they know:-

    The SIM is incompatible.

    The USB connector is incompatible with industry standards (and even the old iPhone).

    You cannot replace the battery.

    You cannot plug in a memory card.

    It is VERY expensive.

    You are being ripped off.

    A Samsung Galaxy II or III will do the same (or more)

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