back to article Reg readers serve up bacon sarnie amuse-bouche

The deadline for submissions to El Reg's ultimate bacon sarnie photo challenge has now passed, and we're preparing a pinnacle of pork perfection potlatch of participants for the pabulous public poll. However, I'm on holiday this week, and probably up to my 'nads in some improbable excavation project, so you'll have to hang …

COMMENTS

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  1. JDX Gold badge

    These are the blooper reel entrants right?

  2. Shagbag
    Thumb Up

    VBS

    The best bacon sandwich is a vertical one.

    1. bonkers
      Happy

      Re: VBS

      Wouldn't that make it, sort of, more difficult to eat?

      Anyway, I missed the competition, but here's mine - BLT sushi:

      a tortilla /burrito thing, with bacon rashers sliced into strips, shredded lettuce and tomato, mayonnaise, carefully rolled into a spiral, pinned with a couple of cocktails sticks then chilled. Then you slice it into 8mm sushi slices.

      1. En_croute
        FAIL

        Re: VBS

        You do know Sushi is rice, and what you are referring to is more like a Makizushi.

  3. Graeme Hayes
    Stop

    Please Stop !!

    I live in a land where pork products are strictly verboten. Please cease and desist this talk of bacon butties with immediate effect. My mouth is watering and I can't sample the wares !!

    By the way, the best bacon buttie is made with nice thick local smoked back bacon, Warburton's Breakfast Loaf, butter and a smidgin of Heinz tomato ketchup............

    1. Richard 81

      Re: Please Stop !!

      What no black market in piggy products?

      Alternatively, move somewhere less silly.

      1. Graeme Hayes
        Go

        Re: Please Stop !!

        As to the first question.....no comment. But salvation is half an hour away across The Causeway.

        And for the second question, there are plans afoot !!

    2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Please Stop !!

      I agree, I'm now hungry craving Bacon plus every time i say how I have my sandwich I get downvoted a billion times :(

    3. Huw D
      Flame

      Re: Please Stop !!

      Tomato ketchup?

      Burn the heathen!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Is there any other kind

        Ignoring the issues of the propriety of using ketchup for the moment:

        "tomato ketchup"

        Is there any other kind of ketchup? or is "tomato ketchup" brought to us by the Department of Redundancy Department.

        1. Graeme Hayes
          Thumb Down

          Re: Is there any other kind

          Mushroom ketchup is freely available where I am.........

          And it tastes as bad as it sounds !!

        2. Captain DaFt

          Re: Is there any other kind

          ""tomato ketchup"

          Is there any other kind of ketchup? or is "tomato ketchup" brought to us by the Department of Redundancy Department."

          There is such a thing as banana ketchup, and there's a sauce made from fish that's also called ketchup, but neither is very popular outside of Asian countries.

        3. Vincent Ballard
          Coat

          Re: Is there any other kind

          I've heard of mushroom ketchup. As I'm not a fan of mushrooms, I've never tried it.

    4. 1Rafayal
      Trollface

      Re: Please Stop !!

      Surely the illegality of bacon in a country should force some sort of coup? Or some sort of militant protest in front of the relevant embassies across the globe?

    5. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Please Stop !!

      That's... just... terrible!

      I know these are not the same and are in no way intended to replace the original and awesome goodness that is real bacon from a real pig, but fried crispiness can be otherwise obtained from the following:

      - Beef bacon. I have had it and enjoyed it. Again, not the same as pork bacon, but not at all bad.

      - Turkey bacon. No. just, no.

      - Gribenes. Fried chicken skins. This works surprisingly well on sandwiches. Other poultry skins may be used, especially duck.

      Good luck!

  4. wowfood

    Bugger

    I have the photo on my phone, but alas failed to upload... Bah, i'll upload it when I get home, although it kinda failed. The mozzarella didn't melt as much as I'd hoped so it looks like there's more cheese than bacon. Tasted great though.

  5. RainForestGuppy
    Thumb Up

    Wonderful

    "we're preparing a pinnacle of pork perfection potlatch of participants for the pabulous public poll."

    I'm always glad to see some alliteration first thing on Friday morning :-)

  6. GrumpyJoe
    Thumb Up

    I have a friend in Spain

    Girona, says the bacon there isn't up to snuff like UK bacon - so he uses Chorizo instead (BLASPHEMY!). Any comment on the quality of the bacon used in any Spanish tests?

    I normally put up with supermarket but dislike the white discharge (water and salts, I know). I'll get the steam up soon to go straight to a butchers and get a proper sliceage.

    1. Richard 81

      Re: I have a friend in Spain

      "Any comment on the quality of the bacon used in any Spanish tests?"

      If it's anything like the bacon they had at hotel I stayed at in Majorca, it's bad. Imagine someone took a whole load of vaguely bacon like bits of meat, pressed them into a block glued together with fat, smoked it and cut it into thin uniform slices. It's like a sausage pretending to be bacon.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I have a friend in Spain

      Does your friend ask for bacon by pointing to it and grunting? If so I wouldn't be surprised that he gets duff bacon. That withstanding, as he prefers chorizo over even duff bacon his taste buds are probably buggered and unreliable.

      All the bacon I've had in Spain has been top quality stuff and I've never had any that had even the slightest bit of that white stuff.

      1. GrumpyJoe
        Thumb Down

        Re: I have a friend in Spain

        Yes, my friend who speak the language, lives there with his Spanish wife and three kids, simply grunts.

        I know I shouldn't take the bait, but left alone it's like a canker sore - either way it's leaving a mark.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I have a friend in Spain

          >Yes, my friend who speak the language...

          Ah, yes reading between the lines I can now see how I failed to understand this, silly me.

          ...simply grunts

          May I suggest that if he speaks the language with some proficiency then he asks properly.

    3. Dom 3

      Re: I have a friend in Spain

      I lived there a few years. "Beicon" in the butchers was streaky, kindof, with bits of bone in. You could get Oscar Mayer American-style streaky in the supermarkets.

      Most visits to the UK I would come back with a slab of good quality thick cut back which would go in the freezer.

      Meanwhile... may I recommend a bit of lime pickle in your bacon sarnie?

  7. EddieD

    You bastards.

    I was trying to be good, and settle for a nice fruit based breakfast, but now I'm going to have to send out for a butty.

    And the annoying thing is, the local buttyery isn't very good, so I'll be slightly disappointed - until the market, tomorrow...

    And bacon - egg - black pudding butty? You beauty!

    1. Richard 81

      Re: You bastards.

      I've never found a bought bacon sandwich that is as good as a home made one.

      1. EddieD

        Re: You bastards.

        Ain't that the truth

    2. Matt Hamilton

      Re: You bastards.

      I have to give my wife credit for adding black pudding to the sarnie. But my god it was delicious. It was black pudding from some little town in mid-wales... best I've ever had. Need to try and work out where it was!

      -Matt

      1. lawndart

        Re: You bastards.@Matt Hamilton

        When I used to visit uni friends at Aberystwyth it was mandatory to stop off in Machynlleth by the clocktower on the way home and pop into William Lloyd-Williams the butcher to stock up on what was possibly the best pork pies in the world. Never tried their bacon or BP, but if the other products were like the pies...

        I mentioned them to one of the ex-uni friends a year or so ago and was told that the shop had gone, but the internet begs to differ. The only problem now is the 150 miles separating house and shop.

  8. Mike 140
    Holmes

    Tricky decision

    http://themellowjihadi.com/2012/09/15/yes-bacon-money/

    Eat it, or spend it?

  9. frank ly Silver badge

    re. Matt Hamilton picture

    At first sight, I thought that was a grand piano with two white suited pianists playing a duet in the distance. I was pleased and quite excited by the thought of surreal/arty backdrops to all the sarnie shots. Then I had a closer look at it........

    1. Matt Hamilton

      Re: re. Matt Hamilton picture

      No, I'm afraid there was no grand piano of pianists in that photo and it was just a boat being launched on the beach.

    2. Dave 62

      Re: re. Matt Hamilton picture

      I prefer your initial impression and I'm sticking with it, there are pianists on the beach. Only decent sarnie in this "amuse-bouche" too. The rest are just people trying to be clever but like putting sultanas in a curry, it's just daft.

  10. James 36
    Happy

    hmmmmmmmmm

    baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccoooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Thanks El Reg

    After settling in at work for some serious coding, I am now forced to leave, destination: The Buttie Shop Near Where I Work.

  12. ToonArmyBarmy
    FAIL

    Wrong Wrong Wrong

    Everyone knows that a Bacon Sandwich should always be on White Bread!

  13. dotdavid
    Facepalm

    So

    The only thing we can all agree the Ultimate Bacon Sarnie must contain is bacon, then.

    Everything else (accompaniments, sauces, bread type) is a matter of personal choice it seems.

    1. Ru

      Re: So

      It does have to be the right kind of bacon though; I'd vote against the sad, thin, crispy stuff they serve over in the states which is clearly the bacon equivalent of methadone.

      1. GrumpyJoe
        WTF?

        Re: So

        Got my wife to try it - too crispy - but this is from a woman who, in her youth, used to eat the raw rind off uncooked bacon and loved it!

  14. johnnytruant
    Thumb Up

    nice timing

    I am eating a sweetcure Norfolk Black Bacon sandwich right now. Way too hungry to photograph it first.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: nice timing

      Suffolk bacon is the best (runs and hides).

  15. Kane Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    There is only one thing...

    ...better than a bacon sarnie.

    And that's two bacon sarnies.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: There is only one thing...

      Er, three bacon sarnies?

      That's two things then.....

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Try one made by North Tipperary hillbillies? Maybe not

    There's an area in the North Tipperary hills known in the nearby parts of Co Limerick as "the land of hairy bacon" as the inhabitants of the area are reputed not to have learnt about singeing the hair off the pig!

    1. Steven Roper
      Thumb Up

      Well

      I suppose they do appreciate a little bacon with their keratin!

  17. Lord Voldemortgage

    Nuts.

    Hungry Jenny is no doubt an admirable person in almost every way but I will never permit her to make me a bacon sandwich.

    However I might consider one of her peanut butter toasted sandwiches with added bacon.

  18. Dave 62
    Pint

    I'm a bit disappointed by all this.. wish I'd been arsed to do something now.

    seeded bread... what is the world coming too.

  19. Rick Berry
    Happy

    Chicken and Pig

    The difference between the pig's and chicken's contribution to the bacon sarnie? The chicken was involved and the pig was committed.

  20. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Horror Story

    These evil, corrupt examples are all so utterly wrong. None even remotely resemble a bacon sarnie. They are cremated pig plus some culinary abortion disguised by an (arguably) grass seed based covering.

    A bacon sarnie consists of precisely two things. Lightly cooked, but well cured bacon, and white 'farmhouse' bread from stone-ground wheat.

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      Re: Horror Story

      Agree but.. (butty?) Although you forgot to mention that the bread (home-made, natch) absolutely HAS to be firstly used to soak up the bacon fat! How else d'ya think you'll earn EL. REG's. 'heart-attack-comentard-winner-of-the year' competition? I thought that was Lester's 'cunning plan' to lighten his workload....

      T'yack. Yoof of today....

  21. HippyFreetard
    Angel

    The best

    is the one you have when you're hungry.

    Then it doesn't matter if it's cheap bacon, soggy-rinded, and dripping grease all over your fingers, it's the best damn bacon sandwich.

  22. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    May have found a source of smart bacon...

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4548725/Things-look-bleak-for-goat-trapped-in-pool-until-hero-pig-leaps-in-saves-its-bacon.html

    "Smarter than your average rasher" (Sorry, Yogi Bear, couldn't resist)

  23. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    Nah.

    First: pickles are an essential accompaniment. Masks the 'old beer' smell of last nights (early mornings?) excess.

    Second are grease-stains, when you've wiped the fat off your fingers down your business suit, rather than be sober enough to use a paper towel. Then, everyone knows you're a serious 'butty-guzzler'. RESPECT!!!!

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