back to article Apple iPhone 5 review

Time was, smartphones did little that was actually smart. They had front-facing cameras and maybe a touchscreen, but operating systems geared more for a stylus than fingers. It wasn’t until the iPhone landed in 2007 that things changed. For the next few years Apple continued to deliver the brainiest of smartphones. No one else …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obviously A Fanboi ...

    "Sure, there are other handsets which do as much as or more than the iPhone 5. But Apple’s ease of use, highly populated App Store and irresistibly sleek hardware design are enough to give it the edge."

    Tell us about the maps .....

    :D

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      Maps? Turns out you're looking at it the wrong way.

      Using any map will result in some abstraction of reality, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the destination. This is a fact of life for every map. If you ever experience this on your iPhone 5, avoid looking it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the desired location in the view, or simply use one of many available paper atlases.

      1. Richard 81

        Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

        I know you've used the troll icon, but... huh?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

          "I know you've used the troll icon, but... huh?"

          And for those who gave that post a negative...

          "Gripping any mobile phone will result in some attenuation of its antenna performance, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the antennas. This is a fact of life for every wireless phone. If you ever experience this on your iPhone 4, avoid gripping it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the black strip in the metal band, or simply use one of many available cases."

          See: http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/24/apple-responds-over-iphone-4-reception-issues-youre-holding-th/

      2. Matt_payne666

        Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

        this is true.... and having no imagery for the southeast of the uk is totally fine as its apple I suppose.... Bognor to Eastbourne upto crawley is all black no entry imagery! as is much of the rest of the country....

        1. Colin Wilson 2

          Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

          Bugger Bognor!

        2. Jediben
          Trollface

          Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

          Well nothing south of Crawley really matters anyway.

          *peers out window overlooking runway*

    2. Stuart 22
      Big Brother

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      From early reports it appears the map problem is proportionate to the distance from Cupertino. So its clearly a customer fault. So let's have less of this blasphemy please ...

      1. Katie Saucey
        Happy

        Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

        One new keyboard please

      2. garbo
        Devil

        Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

        iPhone 5 don't need no stinkin' maps. Speed dial button 0 connects direct to Steve-in-Heaven, who leads the way to Nirvana. Can Samsung beat that?

    3. Mr_Bungle
      Facepalm

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      Is the reviewer perhaps the hidden love child of Steve Jobs and Tim Cook. Spawned in the Apple Labs. Home schooled using only SIRI and Apple products, no sense or knowledge of any other technology. The iClone LIVES!

      The worst review I've ever read -

      1. Grovelling indroduction

      2. Foaming at the gash about the appearance.

      3. Ignoring massive flaws.

      4. End.

      That had no place on this site, it was a essentially a review about what a phone case looked like. Do your readers a favour Reg, execute the simpering idiot who wrote the review, then delete any reference to him from your archives.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      Tell us about the maps .....

      I'd like to hear more about the Youtube integration as well....................

      1. NightFox

        Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

        @AC 12:08

        Actually the YouTube integration is still there. The viewer is now a separate downloadable app, but the 'send to YouTube' functionality is still built into the OS

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

          "Actually the YouTube integration is still there. The viewer is now a separate downloadable app, but the 'send to YouTube' functionality is still built into the OS"

          I've never understood building this functionality into the OS. I'm about to do a direct Android comparison so fanboys please leave this for someone calmer to respond to.

          Android - you install an app (Facebook/Twitter) and that app says "I can share this MIME type", Android knows you can post images to FB/Twitter so shows them in the share list for images from *any other application*. The OS doesn't care what applications are installed to share stuff, it's irrelevant.

          With iOS the support to share with Twitter and now Facebook is baked into the OS and doesn't seem to be expandable. Does anyone know the reason for this?

          1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

            Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

            @AC:

            "With iOS the support to share with Twitter and now Facebook is baked into the OS and doesn't seem to be expandable."

            It is: there's an API and documentation to allow anyone to add this stuff. Nice try though.

            Re. the review: it's a bit shallow, but so are El Reg reviews for everything else.

            As for the reviewer's verdict: GUIs and user experiences are very subjective. Personally, I detest Android's UX and wouldn't touch an Android device with a 100' pole. Google's "Big Brother" freeloading business model. ("Give us all your personal data for free, so we can make a mint entirely at the expense of your privacy!") Bugger that.

            I'd rather have Apple's "Gated Community" approach, curation and all. At least you know where you stand with Apple. They don't try to pretend to be anything other than a hard-nosed purveyor of well-designed consumer electronics.

            Yes, techies and nerds hate Apple's mollycoddling, but they do have a choice: they can buy an Android device instead.

            There is room for both. Hell, there's room for Windows (Phone) 8 too. (Yes, I rather like Microsoft's effort at creating an original take on the multi-touch UI. It's a shame Android—as is so common with Linux-based OSes in general, opted for just ripping-off a commercial UI instead. FOSS may have many benefits, but genuine UX innovation clearly isn't one of them.)

            As for the maps: It's a v1.0 release! What did you all expect? You can still access Google's own Maps site, or download Google Earth if you prefer.

            Google's labelling is a real pig's ear, often barely legible, and rarely useful either. Their photo strips often have poor alignment at their edges, so roads suddenly become offset from one tile to the next. Resolution—until very, very recently—was also terrible in rural Lazio, for example. For years, a big chunk of the Province of Viterbo, particularly around the lakes, was entirely obscured by clouds at some zoom levels. So, no, Apple aren't alone in having problems satisfying everyone all of the time. Mapping the planet is the very definition of a work in progress—all such maps are in permanent beta and will never, ever be 'finished'.

            Apple's vector-based system is a vast improvement from a UX perspective however. Unlike Google's effort, I can actually read the labels and even tell the app how big I want them!

            Yes, "flyover" is a bit of a gimmick for locals, but I can see how tourists would find it useful for orienting themselves—especially in "Old World" cities like London, where the streets aren't as clear as the US' simpler grid layouts.

            1. Anonymous Coward 101

              Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

              "As for the maps: It's a v1.0 release! What did you all expect?"

              A mapping app that works at lest as well as Google Maps?

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

              @Sean Timarco Baggaley.... dear oh dear oh dear.... where do I start with your rose tinted babbleings...

              "At least you know where you stand with Apple."

              Do you really??? and you think that knowing Apple are fucking you over is a good thing? The standard apple response to finding a bug or vulnerability in a apple product is to stick their fingers in the ears saying "la la la la la ... its not real, its not real... its a feature" quietly fix it while adding a new feature and claim "we don’t have bugs" then update the OS rendering current software useless, the response from apple is "Buy new software"

              "As for the maps: It's a v1.0 release! What did you all expect?"

              I would expect for anyone replacing a feature of a product that is vastly used all over the world wold replace that feature with one that’s as equally good. Imagine Microsoft pulling all versions of MS office off the shelf and replacing it with a product with all the functionality of word-perfect 5, and telling everyone that we will fix it over the next 5 years so it will be as good as what you had it before.... By the time apple fix the maps to be as good as google maps are now, Imagine where google maps will be then!!! Apple Will have to spend stupid amounts of money to get close to google within 2 years... Meanwhile, I would imagine a lot of apple iphone customers who use the mapping services on a regular basis will wean themselves off apple by replacing the phone with a ipod touch and get themselves a android handset.... for the rest of the iphone populous, they will be happy with their iphones that start fart apps a little faster....

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

              "It is: there's an API and documentation to allow anyone to add this stuff. Nice try though."

              Thanks Sean but you haven't really answered anything. If it's as it reads, then why do Facebook/Twitter need Apple to include "Facebook integration" and why can't they just use this API to add it?

              I presume by that the API you're talking about is an API to allow any application to use Twitter/Facebook functionality and that API is provided by Apple as part of iOS? Otherwise, why is Facebook integration declared as a feature of iOS 6? - that is what I'm trying to understand.

            4. Naughtyhorse
              Facepalm

              Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

              "Give us all your personal data for free, so we can make a mint entirely at the expense of your privacy!"

              as opposed to apples; give us all your money, so we can have all your money, we'll then secretly steal all your data and make even more money flogging that off to all and sundry.

              yeah i can see the distinction

    5. Dare to Think

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      How can this phone get 90%???

      The faster chip doesn't matter - hard transaction times do. Faster chips only gloss over bloatware or badly written code. Where is the comparison to other smartphones as ElReg does it with laptops?

      There is still no OLED screen, a small screen in comparison to Samsung Galaxy and Nokia Luminas, no NFC and no expandable storage.

      Still no Xenon flash, no camera oversampling, no lossless zoom.

      The Retina display has become obsolete: Samsung Galaxy S III or the Nokia Lumia 920 have higher resolutions and larger screens than in the iPhone5

      4G LTE is not a unique selling point, everyone else has it, too.

      And the paying starts again: first for the phone itself, then for the overpriced 24or 36 month contract, £25 for the adaptor, apps, you name it.

      1. Spanners Silver badge
        Meh

        How?

        The top Apple device is now better than a galaxy GS2. How is that not worth an uninformative grovel?

        OK , it is not faster than the GS3 by a considerable margin, or better looking, more functional, easier to user etc but that can only mean that they have copied something that Apple hasn't invented yet...

    6. Ben79
      Joke

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

      http://i.imgur.com/o44nv.jpg

      :)

    7. mrunix
      Coat

      Re: Obviously A Fanboi ... for sure...... lesser specs than galaxy nexus, and still fantastic ?

      This is not a review.

      it is a apple lover giving testimony to his faith. fine with me, but do that in the comments,

      and let someone less biased review this piece of technology.

      mrunix

  2. spodula

    better

    Get in quick before the LTE lawsuit that has been promised...

    1. stuff and nonesense

      Re: better

      I was under the impression that LTE is FRAND. Patent holders will have to allow use of their patents for the appropriate non-discriminatory fee.

      1. DryBones

        Re: better

        Never in doubt that it is FRAND. However, the point of contention is on whether Apple needs to pay, or their chippery supplier already did. So basically it's yet another game of legal footsie.

  3. nigel 15
    FAIL

    Get a Room

    startlingly different from any other handset and its slimness, lightness and smooth matte aluminium back continue to take the breath away. - come on.

    when you've 'finished' perhaps you could had the phone over to someone who can write a proper review. you'd think apple had invented 16:9. They probably think they did.

    one of the worst articles i have read on the reg.

    1. Jon Double Nice

      Re: Get a Room

      Apple patent:

      16:9 on a phone

    2. Koyaanisq

      Re: Get a Room

      ZTE Athena is 6.2mm.

      And as far as I know, Steve Jobs hated 16:9.

      Thanks, Google!

      1. Jediben
        Devil

        Re: Get a Room

        Hmm.

        Job 16:9 - "God assails me and tears me in his anger and gnashes his teeth at me; my opponent fastens on me his piercing eyes."

        And covets my rounded corners?

      2. Goat Jam

        Re: Get a Room

        "And as far as I know, Steve Jobs hated 16:9."

        Yep, I think we are seeing proof that Tim Cook is not Steve Jobs and are witnessing the decline of apple.

        Sure the core fanboi's will still be there, even as they were in apples darkest days in the 90's but slowly but surely I think we will see that the non-rabid purchasers of apple products will start to move on to other brands.

        I sort of fell into owning an iphone 4, and for the most part it has been a good phone, much better than the Moto Razr v3 I had before it but the 4S and now the 5 have convinced me that there is no future in the iphone and my next phone will not be made by apple.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Not just Stephen Fry...

          ... Douglas Adams of H2G2 fame, and friend of Mr Fry, was also a massive Apple fan.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams#Technology_and_innovation

          Okay, that's citing Wikipedia, but his dead-tree book The Salmon of Doubt gives the same impression, being as it is a collection of past essays and documents trawled from his hard-disk.

          Mr Fry gets the mickey taken around here, DNA (in Cambridge before Crick and Watson) is held in more esteem. Just saying.

    3. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Get a Room

      So a review you don't agree with is a bad review? Well then go and find one which tells you what you already decided without ever having used the damn thing.

      I did guess it would be 90% before opening though.

      1. Richard 81

        Re: Get a Room

        So a review you don't agree with is a bad review? There's possibly an element of that, but this particular article is so gushy you'd be excused for thinking it was written by Stephen Fry.

        1. Aaron Em

          No reason so to insult a Reg hack, unless it's that Dabbs

          The article contains no face-smackingly egregious errors of fact -- which would not be true had it proceeded from the pen of Stephen Fry, who is a deeply hilarious comedian, but who did after all once say, with a straight face, that the Saturn V rocket worked on the principle of aerodynamic lift.

          1. nigel 15

            Re: No reason so to insult a Reg hack, unless it's that Dabbs

            The pricing is wrong. it's only 1 digit out mind. like 'Duncaster'

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: No reason so to insult a Reg hack, unless it's that Dabbs

            You might have heard of something called 'being economical with the truth', i.e. missing things out because they don't happen to fit with your point of view. I know this is Elreg, where different rules apply, but this review was appalling.

    4. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Get a Room

      Try the video review instead...

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

      1. Miek
        Trollface

        Re: Get a Room

        Kinda reminds me of :

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVz4VweMqFE

    5. Katie Saucey
      Thumb Up

      Re: Get a Room

      alas ...unfortunately I can only up-vote you post once

  4. Miek
    Linux

    That's a nice Samsung Galaxy S2, oh, it's the new iPhone you say? Now who is slavishly copying another competitor's design ?

    Basically the iPhone 5 competes with the Samsung Galaxy S2, not the latest S3 and it costs a hell of a lot on contract. If you are paying £36 quid a month, you should expect a phone of that specification for free with the contract not at an additional cost. Those who are rushing out to buy this product are idiots, this is not because I don't like Apple or anything, it is simply that it is an inferior product.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Miek: "That's a nice Samsung Galaxy S2, oh, it's the new iPhone you say?"

      The principle criticism aimed at the outward appearance of the iPhone 5 is that it hasn't moved on sufficiently from the iPhone 4. And then we have this assertion that is looks like a Samsung Galaxy S2. The possible conclusions that could be drawn by combining these observations are:

      1) Apple have a time machine and were able to see the Samsung Galaxy S2 when they designed the iPhone 4

      2) Samsung knocked of the iPhone 4 design

      I suppose if you're inclined to believe the whole "Apple hypnotised the world with SJs RDF", I guess the time machine theory might seem plausible too. Most other people can see the obvious fact that Samsung has never come up with anything revolutionary in its entire history, and most of its products are simply derivative.

      1. Miek
        Linux

        "1) Apple have a time machine and were able to see the Samsung Galaxy S2 when they designed the iPhone 4" -- They must have examined the Samsung Tocco and Tocco Lite.

        "2) Samsung knocked of the iPhone 4 design" -- Apple knocked off the Nokia N810 design.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Miek: "That's a nice Samsung Galaxy S2, oh, it's the new iPhone" / "Apple knocked off the Nokia N810 design"

          Let us know when you've decided which phone Apple is ripping off...

          ...or does it keep changing every time someone points out the obvious inconsistencies in the previous accusation?

          1. Miek
            Trollface

            "or does it keep changing every time someone points out the obvious inconsistencies in the previous accusation" - No one has pointed out any "obvious" inconsistencies in my "accusations", feel free to try.

  5. GreggS

    And the call quality/signal?

    Has that improved?

    1. nigel 15

      Re: And the call quality/signal?

      you don't understand. just look at it. not in photos. they are unable to replicate it's beauty. in the flesh.

      asking about the call quality and signal from a phone review on a technical news site is just trolling.

      if you could spend a week with cheryl cole you wouldn't ask about her cooking. neither should you enquire about the call and signal quality, mapping, price, multitasking of an iPhone.

      1. Richard 81

        Re: And the call quality/signal?

        I'd have at least a passing interest in her... features though, and not just for looking at either.

      2. GreggS

        Re: And the call quality/signal?

        The difference is I'd kick Cheryl Cole out in the morning, but having spent/wasted £500 on an iPhone5, I'd be stuck with it until the iPhone5s/6 comes out. Besides, Cheryl's mum does all the cooking.

        1. wowfood
          Trollface

          Re: And the call quality/signal?

          Difference between an iPhone5 and a hooker?

          The hooker is cheaper and the people paying expect to be screwed.

    2. a53

      Re: And the call quality/signal?

      And the call quality/signal?

      Has that improved?

      Yes

  6. Glostermeteor

    I can see why existi Apple fanatics would buy one but for me, I think the design of the iPhone is looking pretty outdated and rather last decade, it still looks rather boxy, I was hoping for more sleek curves and something that is truly beautiful and worthy of the 2010s, unfortunately Apple decided to release the same tired old design. It will be samsung Galaxy S 3 for me.

    1. Miek
      Linux

      "I think the design of the iPhone is looking pretty outdated and rather last decade, it still looks rather boxy," -- yes their poor copy of the nokia n810 is now feeling the test of time, thankfully they have moved on and copied the look of the Samsung Galaxy S2 with a sprinkle of n810 for good measure.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I think the design of the iPhone is looking pretty outdated and rather last decade"

      What about iOS, BLURGH! Looks as sexy as Susan Boyle. Tho Applites LOVE IT!

      Taste can't be bought, even with an idiotPhone.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So you have a fetish for curved cheap and nasty plastic?

      The original iPhones were curvy and rounded. It is the competition who are in the last decade.

      1. Piro

        Sorry, no

        Take a look at the Panasonic Eluga for example, or Eluga Power. Now that's a good looking device. Way better looking than iPhone.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Exactly

      Its the Volvo of the phone world. "Boxy - but good" except its not good.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Exactly

        How do you know it's not good?

        Have you got one?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Exactly

          "How do you know it's not good?"

          The fact the first thing most media sites said about it was "it's taller and can fit an extra row of icons" should have been a pretty big hint, but if you want specifics:

          - Practically same design as last 2 releases

          - Reduced map functionality

          - Black borders on all iOS5 apps (platform fragmentation anyone?)

          - Slower than the S3 in performance benchmarks (S3 was released in May)

          - Only advantage over a 4/4S is speed/176 pixels

          - Google level tracking*

          I've left screen size off, since not everyone is into the big screens.

          * Every Apple fanboy whinges about Google's use of user location data so it's only fair it goes in here - guess where iOS maps data is coming from.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For those too lazy to read the review....

    .....condenced version.

    "It's bigger than the old phone, shinnier too. But guess what - it's still just a phone."

    And by the way, why does that picture of the adapters on page 2 seem to include either a £10 note printer, or a device into which you must feed £10 notes?

    1. David Gosnell

      Re: For those too lazy to read the review....

      Looks like a twenty to me. I'd imagine it's some kind of subliminal social comment.

    2. Goldmember

      Re: For those too lazy to read the review....

      I think you'll find that's a 20.

      That is a valid point though. What is the deal with the note shoved into the plastic thing?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: For those too lazy to read the review....

        You are indeed correct. I did think it was a twenty to start with, but then for some reason convinced myself it was a ten!

        Obviously I just haven't had enough exposure to twenty pound notes ::sniff::

    3. Paul M 1

      Re: For those too lazy to read the review....

      A license to print money possibly.....

  8. Rob
    FAIL

    Review?

    Where's the speed benchmarking test that usually accompanies these reviews? Lazy review at best.

    1. Toxteth O'Gravy
      Thumb Down

      Re: Review?

      They've told it's noticeably faster, what the heck do you need a semi-specious number for?

      I'd take real-world appraisals over artificial benchmark 'scores' any day of the week.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Review?

        >I'd take real-world appraisals over artificial benchmark 'scores' any day of the week.

        Indeed. You don't experience CPU power directly, but only how the CPU deals with its work load- since iOS isn't Android, it is a case of mangoes and oranges. Whilst engine sizes, horsepower, torque etc are commonly listed for cars, people are keener to know 0-60 and 50-70 accelerations, top speed, fuel efficiency etc.

        Knowing the raw speed of the CPU is pretty useless compared to an objective end-use test- some sort of composite benchmark involving several pieces of software and tasks.

        Before ICS arrived on my phone, every task took an extra half second due to the presence of a redundant slide-to-unlock screen before a pattern-unlock screen, regardless of it having x CPU cores.

        FFS, PCs being bought because of lists of numbers in the 1990s meant that no manufacturer had the incentive to invest thought into how people might actually use the system as a whole. Having six cables (K, V, M, VPower, Audio L&R) between your PC case and your desk is but one obvious example of what this limited thinking lead to.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Review?

      I like the fact that the reviewer apparently can't tell us the clock speed of the processor, we just have to take his word for it that it's fast. Then, on the same page, the vital stats list it as 1ghz. I guess if he'd written that into the review body he'd have looked rather foolish trying to insinuate that the iPhone5 is comparable in speed to top end Android phones.

  9. Koyaanisq

    'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

    Reading over that, it appears to be no different from the iPhone 4S. More pixels, little quicker. Any other features? Nope. There's this weird sense of amazement people seem to get from iPhones. They're nothing special in my opinion. I've got an Xperia Play which is, by all accounts, pretty rubbish. But I'd not take an iPhone 5 over it, because it does almost nothing than my nigh two year old Android can do.

    Not to sound Anti-Apple, but I think this new phone is a waste of time. No new features, so to speak. Nothing innovative. Anything Apple have done has been done before them. I've never been interested in them. The original one, sure, was pretty cool. Nothing like it before. But now? Nothing exciting at all. 'We made it longer, you guys!'

    Can you honestly say it's worth an upgrade from a 4S to a 5?

    Think I'll get a Samsung. It 'doesn't take a genius' I guess.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: 'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

      Well it's a LOT faster and a better battery.

      But otherwise... I guess they already have all the features in the 4S so they don't NEED to innovate. Most of the new features on other phones are just gimmicks, all top smartphones already do all the key things required of a computer which does phone+camera.

      1. Koyaanisq

        Re: 'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

        "they don't NEED to innovate"

        So they've either done all they can, or think nothing more is necessary? I'd say the former, honestly.

        Why do they go on about others copying their innovation when it's the others that DO innovate? NFC is a plus. Even if it goes predominantly unused, it's there if you need it. For example, I've used the camera on my phone roughly seven times. Once for a video. Not too bothered that it's there, but it'd be crap to be without it on those moments I may need it. Same goes for NFC.

        The iPhone is mediocre. It is as you said, a computer that does phone+camera. Not much else! As I said, my old Xperia does the same as the iPhone5. Only thing it can't do is panoramic pictures.

        Honestly, I don't understand the hype around it. I personally know people that freaked the hell out when they heard about it, proclaiming it so much better than their iPhone 4S (Which can totally do a load of things my phone couldn't do).

        It's stagnant. 'Better battery, little faster, little bigger.' Well done, you've got as much innovation going on as an old Nokia.

        The iPhone is boring.

        1. It'sa Mea... Mario

          @Koyaanisq

          'NFC is a plus. Even if it goes predominantly unused, it's there if you need it. For example, I've used the camera on my phone roughly seven times. Once for a video. Not too bothered that it's there, but it'd be crap to be without it on those moments I may need it. Same goes for NFC.'

          camera, yes but please describe a stituation where you would 'need' NFC?

          Seriously - there is a group trying promote NFC that are in desperate need of examples because even they have not discovered any killer applications for it yet.

          Paying for things? maybe one day but shop uptake needs to take off in a big way first. Not to mention the security needs improving (See Pwned SIII story) and could only be described as useful if you've accidentally left your cash AND bank cards at home.

          File transfer? (as mentioned in the main article) have you heard of a popular little (cross platform) app called Bump?

          1. Stacy
            WTF?

            Re: @Koyaanisq

            Let's see...

            I want to quickly and simple pass a file to a friend who also has NFC.

            Should you be that way inclined to use your phone as payment at kiosks and things (as is being trialed in certain countries I believe) - I wouldn't BTW, but some people would like the option so why not give it to them?

            Or how about doing something really innovative and thinking about how it could be useful...

            My Xperia S comes with two NFC tags, which can be set up to make the phone do certain things. Kind of like a macro.

            So for example I have a different options that I want on my phone in my house than in my office.

            : I have a tag on my monitor and a tag on my coat stand. A quick swipe and dozens of settings can be set to what you want. You don't even need to unlock the phone!

            Are any of these 'needs'? Of course not, but then I 'need' a phone that makes calls (actually I don't even *need* that - I managed for 17 years without a phone after all). But they are sure nice to haves!

            No doubt (as the article stated) once the iPhone does have NFC the fans will suddenly declare that it is the best thing since sliced bread.

            The real killer for the iPhone 5 for me is the amount of fanbois (and I use that deliberately, not to confuse them with sane people who buy Apple products) who shout loudly that no innovation is a good thing! Ouch.

    2. Stacy
      Thumb Up

      Re: 'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

      Yup, the 3G was great - as much as I wanted to hate it when I tried a collegues I brought it.

      The only thing in the article that I thought was non biased - the interface when it was released was great. But the others caught up so quickly, after even 18 months it was outdated to the competition.

      Since then... Not so much has changed...

      1. Aaron Em

        Unchecked neophilia

        I see a lot of interest here in newness for newness' sake. Have any of you lot stopped to consider that there may be valuable criteria, other than novelty, for what goes into a smartphone interface? That usability, and concepts proved by the test of time, might be worth more in such designs than "ooh, it's new, cram it on in there!"

        I mean, I know that Android is desperate to prove it isn't a second-rate copy of the iPhone -- if the recent judgment against Samsung is any guide, they need to work a lot harder at it, but still -- unchecked neophilia really isn't the way to go about it. Of course, in the absence of coherent vision, it's probably all they've got. Sad, really.

    3. Robert E A Harvey
      FAIL

      Re: 'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

      Comparing a product with its own earlier versions is very thin gruel indeed.

      What matters is to compare a 2012 iPhart with a 2012 Androne.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 'The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet.'

        NFC... the infrastructure-dependant uses for this aren't here yet (and to be honest, it hasn't yet been explained to me wrong with cash - or else a bonk-to-pay debit card for you urban types needing to snag coffee and travel tickets. However, as someone with a dash of geeky mess around-with-it tendancies, I'm tempted to get a pack of the Sony NFC tags to play around with, since my phone supports them. Apparently they can be used to bonk-to-trigger shortcuts and actions. As such, maybe some cunning 'app' developer will come up a really useful (as opposed to 'ohh, cool') purpose for NFC technology.

        Until then, people like my dad are going to see it on their phones and ask "What the f&^k does this NFC thing mean?" when I've being trying to limit his attention to things he will find useful, such as "How do I connect to the internet in a pub or cafe? Is this is WiFi thing?" Answer: Ask the barman or waitress to do it for you.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    idiotPhone 4S was bad, idiotPhone 5 = what a load of crap!

    I want the lovers to explain why they are so militant to defend such a mediocre product?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      I'd like the haters to explain why they invest so much time writing and caring about a product they don't own. Maybe get on with your own life.

      1. Richard 81

        This _is_ a tech. website, remember?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Indeed. It's a bloody phone for gods sake.

        We need lots of choices in the mobile market, not just Android. If anything it is a shame Apple aren't innovating as much now, no ideas for Android to borrow and improve.

        1. Richard 81

          Like... maps?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "I'd like the haters to explain why they invest so much time writing and caring about a product they don't own."

        In my case it's because you lot seem as vacuous as the Facebook/Twitter/Big Brother/anything-involving-Simon-Cowell addicts and are steadily increasing the shallowness of Western Civilisation, thus affecting the quality of my own life. You seem indistinguishable from the 'Air Jordan' coveters of the greedy and superficial Yuppie decade that was the 80's.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "I'd like the haters to explain why they invest so much time writing and caring about a product they don't own. Maybe get on with your own life."

        We try to, but we're constantly being told how awesome the iPhone is by the lovers, in turn causing us to be haters. The iPhone 5 is not awesome, it's a mediocre phone that doesn't come close to phones released months ago, it barely improves upon the 4S (and that's not considering the whole maps thing).

    2. Ivan Headache

      Because you don't like it. Obviously!

  11. nigel 15
    Facepalm

    I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer.

    I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer. - by new favourite line.

    i hate that i have all those USB AC transformers around my house that can charge all my gadgets regardless of manufacturer too. They just get in the way. i'd much rather have proprietary connectors on all my devices too.

    1. Kristian Walsh

      Re: I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer.

      Yeah, it does sound a bit like rationalisation... I won't ever buy an iDevice (that 1959-style UI just grates with me), but this Lightning connector strikes me as being a bit of a pain in the ballsack for existing customers.

      Leaving aside the expensive devices that have iPod dock connectors built into them (I include devices like BMWs in this category), if they were going to remove the dock connector, they could at least have replaced it with something that's compatible with micro-USB. Every single smartphone now uses this connector, and lots of small gadgets and phone accessories do too (Bluetooth headsets, portable speakers, WiFi hotspots).

      Apple users now have the "simplicity" of having to keep two cables everywhere - one for their phone, and another for its headset/speakers/hotspot. Oh, and a third for their current iPad, which still uses the 30-pin plug.

      And as if that wasn't stupid enough, they didn't fix the one thing that EVERYONE complained about on the old connector cable: it's still too damned short.

      1. Aaron Em

        "1959-style UI"

        I would dearly love to see even one example of a user interface on anything from 1959 which remotely resembles that of iOS.

        I don't blame people who already own peripherals for being upset about the switch to the Lightning connector. On the other hand, it amuses me that all this complaining about that new feature should appear in a thread which is stuffed to the gills with whines about how Apple doesn't innovate.

        1. Paul M 1

          Re: "1959-style UI"

          Aaron, I can see that you're unfamiliar with the concept of irony. Which is odd because your second paragraph is chock full of the stuff.

          Unless it was all post-ironic, in which case my apologies - but I doubt it.

          1. Aaron Em

            Huh?

            To expand: Yes, I'm quite familiar with the concept of irony. What I don't understand is where you see any of it in my previous comment. Then again, I go by the actual meaning of the word, rather than the sloppy, ignorant use of it so regrettably common these days, so perhaps it's understandable that I don't understand what you're talking about here.

            1. Paul M 1

              Re: Huh?

              Can't believe I'm even responding but here you go..

              Irony: an expression in which the intended meaning is different to and often the opposite of the literal meaning.

              So although he *said* 1959 he didn't really *mean* 1959. Sorry if I offended you there but since your other posts display a stoic dedication to the literal word it seems unlikely that you truly do understand irony.

              1. Kristian Walsh

                Re: Huh?

                Indeed. I picked 1959 as a random date in the past. (but it had to be after 1957, because otherwise some knob would go on about Helvetica not having been around in the early 1950s.) But basically, my point was that iOS's visuals are pretty backward-looking, representing a kind of rose-tinted Americana of the 1950s that has no emotional appeal to someone like me, born many years later in Europe..

                1. Aaron Em

                  Re: Huh?

                  I'm still trying to figure out what the hell you're talking about. iOS as a rose-tinted version of the 1950s? What, then. would you suggest as "modern"? I mean, it sounds like you're trying to make some kind of bizarre political argument out of the iOS user interface design, and that just doesn't make any sense.

                  1. Kristian Walsh

                    Re: Huh?

                    Aaron, it's like this:

                    I do not like how iOS looks.

                    I was not asking you to renounce your obvious love for iOS, nor was I even asking you to agree with me. You asked me to elaborate on why I didn't like how it looked, and I did so - I feel that the style of design used is clumsy and incongruous for the type of device this is.

                    If you want "Modern", I'd suggest that both Nokia's Harmattan and Microsoft's WP8 UI are "more modern", although the latter's design principles are based strongly in the International Style of the 1960s which is hardly new anymore, and I also think that MS have tried to be diametrically opposed to Apple's design style even when it's not the best approach to take.

                    "I mean, it sounds like you're trying to make some kind of bizarre political argument out of the iOS user interface design, and that just doesn't make any sense."

                    No, there really is no political position involved at all. It's very simple: I don't like how it looks. Once again, that's a personal judgement, and it was down to my taste alone. I'm not proselytizing: in my view of the world, you're free to continue using iOS, and free to continue liking it. Frankly, we need more happy people in the world, so I won't be the one to shout at someone to give up a position when that position does nobody else any harm and when they're perfectly happy to occupy it.

                    1. Aaron Em

                      I get that you don't like it

                      but how does that make it 1959-style, or what-have-you? Sounds like you're confusing your personal tastes with objective judgments of what things are or ain't, and for someone who's banging on so about not having done so, I must say the whole thing seems a bit ironic.

                    2. Aaron Em
                      Facepalm

                      Oh, wait, I see what the problem is here

                      I'm arguing substance with a crayon pusher, something which is guaranteed never to go well. You go play with your colored pencils, and I'll go back to making things work. Ta!

              2. APA

                Re: Huh?

                "Irony: an expression in which the intended meaning is different to and often the opposite of the literal meaning."

                Err, that's the definition of "sarcasm" not irony. Not that's ironic; a post that tries to define irony but gets it wrong.

                I agree with the criticism against "you're all complaining about lack of innovation when they've innovated a new connector". Isn't innovation supposed to be an improvement?

            2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
              FAIL

              Re: Huh?

              It’s a matter of personal taste whether the 3.5mm headphone jack that’s been moved from the top to the bottom of the phone is good or bad. Me, I’m not mad about it, but it’s not a deal-breaker.

              Oh, the irony!

    2. Toxteth O'Gravy

      Re: I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer.

      I think he means he now has more than enough adaptors to go round, whereas a new-to-old cable adaptor would be more useful. That's certainly not a vote for proprietary tech, just pragmatism.

    3. Darren B 1

      Re: I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer.

      Apple appear to have got around the EU law for all Mobile Phones to charge by Micro USB by selling a Lightning > Micro USB Adapter, yours for just £15.

  12. David Gosnell

    Sony

    I supposed it's inevitable, having borrowed the design of the iPhone off a Sony prototype (sorry, inadmissible evidence, too damaging to the plaintiff) in the first place, that they now follow Sony's trend of using 16:9 screens and will probably claim it as innovative/patentable.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sony

      Sony Prototype/?

      Shows the typical comprehension skills of a Fandroid.

      To correct you, it wasnt a Sony prototype - it was a hypothetical design project, internal to Apple. Jony Ive challenged one of his team to 'Come up with what the iPhone would look like if it was designed by Sony'.

      But hey, never let the facts get in the way of a good dig at crApple! Far more fun to demonise them!

  13. Mondo the Magnificent
    Devil

    Thank goodness...

    ...I wasn't wearing rose tinted glasses when readin the review... and that I WAS wearing flame retardent clothing when reading the comments...

  14. Aaron Em

    Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

    I guess the cool kids are just so over the iPhone. Out here in the real world, though, where the grown-ups live, I know lots and lots of people who have iPhones and love them -- and exactly four people with Android handsets, only one of whom even likes it. Seems to me that Mr. Jobs' brainchild wins by acclamation; when you consider that it is, after all, the device which invented the modern smartphone, it's impossible not to notice, in the sort of Android-centric smuggery we see in threads like this one, a strong flavor of sour grapes.

    And, yes, for those who'll ask -- I am an iPhone owner; in fact I'm posting this very comment from my shiny new iPhone 4S. And, yes, I may myself seem a bit smug on the whole subject. Given my experience, and the experience of the other smartphone owners I know, I have to say the difference appears to be that an iPhone owner's smugness, when it exists, is justified.

    1. Richard 81

      Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

      "I know lots and lots of people who have iPhones and love them -- and exactly four people with Android handsets, only one of whom even likes it."

      Oh for goodness sake. Why does anyone, no matter what side of the argument they're on, think this is somehow credible evidence? It's anecdotal nonsense.

      Personally, I know more Android phone owners than iPhone owners, largely due to the relative cost of getting a half-decent one. Most of the people I know who own iPhones like them, but then so do the people who've bought Android phones. I would say, anecdotally, that the Android phone owners I know are more technically minded than the iPhone owners. Take from that what you will.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

        What Richard 81 said.

        >...due to the relative cost of getting a half-decent one.... I would say, anecdotally, that the Android phone owners I know are more technically minded than the iPhone owners. Take from that what you will.

        I'm not taking anything from it, except to think about the disposable income of people who grew up with technology (at least using a PC routinely in secondary school, say born after 1976) and the disposable income of those who grew up to see the transistor radio become the thing. The latter group will have been working for longer, and are more likely to have paid off their mortgage, one assumes... the former group have, from a young age, been used to games consoles, computers, mobile phones, graphing calculators, digital watches, proverbial VCRs etc, and are usually confident that they can persuade any new gadget to do what it is intended to do.

    2. Mr_Bungle
      Facepalm

      Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

      @Aaron Em

      More than anything else, this attitude is why many of us can't stand Apple. The delusion that owning Apple hardware make you a better person.

      Wanker.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

        And to counter, many people hate Android because it seems to generate smug self satisfaction and anti-apple rhetoric that is mostly founded in myth and here-say than actual fact. Lord a lorky, someone likes a iPhone? They must be a brainwashed iSheep!

      2. Aaron Em

        Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

        Richard 81: "Anecdotes are not data." Well, sorry, brother, but I and the people I know live anecdotal lives, in an anecdotal world. "Statistics über alles!" is the cry of a technocrat.

        Mr_Bungle: Well, I only bought my iPhone on Tuesday -- and it's the first smartphone I've ever owned, I would hasten to note -- but that's okay; I don't need an iPhone or anything else to know that I'm better than you.

        1. Aaron Em

          Let me just throw a question out there

          What can your Android do that my iPhone can't?

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. Dante

            Re: Let me just throw a question out there

            Direct me via a map.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Let me just throw a question out there

            Well a few small things.

            I can charge it using the same power supplies as my work's Blackberry, my ereader and my blue-tooth headset. I can transfer data to and from my computer using the same cable as my blackberry, my ereader or my camera. Might sound like a small thing but it means I don't need to worry about making sure I carry specific cables/chargers for this phone (like I have to with my ipod).

            When I upgraded from my HTC desire I had 32GB of photos and music which needed moving. I just took the SD card out of the HTC and put it in the S3 and it was all there for me. If I run out of space on my 32GB card I can just swap in another card - so if I'm away from home for a long period and have a poor data connection I don't need to worry about running out of space for photos or videos.

            Both of these are of course NOT related to Android - they're features a lot of other phones have...but not anything from Apple.

          4. Graham Dawson
            Megaphone

            Re: Let me just throw a question out there

            Widgets. I can turn off my data connection, wifi and sound by tapping little buttons on my home screen. I have a calendar and more things one screen to the left, my music player widget one screen to the right. I don't have to trawl through an endless list of icons and settings to do all these things, I can just unlock the phone and bam, done.

            I can install a completely different launcher if I want. I can completely customise the lock screen itself. I take ownership of my device by making it look the way I want it to look instead of just getting a grid of icons.

            That's just off the top of my head.

        2. Mr_Bungle
          Facepalm

          Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

          *sniff* "I don't need an iPhone or anything else to know that I'm better than you." *sob*

          Posting a comment intending to annoy other readers, then acting like a child when you are corrected. Like I give a fuck if it's your first smartphone.

  15. Daz555

    There is no doubt that the iPhone 5 is one of the best mid-range handsets on the market.

    1. Richard 81

      Best handset of 2011.

      1. nigel 15

        best feature phone anyway.

  16. Big_Ted
    FAIL

    Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

    "What you do see every time you look at the display is the improved colour saturation. It’s noticeably brighter and more vivid than earlier iPhone panels and easily on a par with the gaudiness of the Galaxy S III or the upcoming Nokia Lumia 920."

    So an obvious fanbois says that the SIII and Lumia 920 have gaudy displays but the same on an iphone is something special.

    Lets be honest here, yes its the best iphone ever, but it is not the best phone out there, the UI is old, stale and boring with what looks like a vtech innotab setup, and oh lok a great new feature that you can make panarama photos with it.....err theres been an app or 50 for that for ages on both Apple and iOS, you can even get apps for 360 degree views as well....

    If you love the iphone then yes its an ok upgrade but not a great step forward, otherwise the MEH.....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

      Indeed, nobody has seen the finished Nokia 920 yet, so why mock it?

      Only pre-release products have been shown up until now.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

        Perhaps the reviewer has seen the Nokia 920.

        The review says he;s been using the iPhone 5 for 5 days!

    2. the-it-slayer
      Meh

      Re: Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

      Okay, let's get somethings straight here...

      Most people in this forum will compare with a set of rose-tinted glasses and bias it against their appreciation for the company over another. I personally have not seen a working iPhone 5 yet, but I'm seriously considering not to let my iPhone 4 go in March when my contract is up for renewal. It's not because of the UI being "old, stale and boring with what looks like a vtech innotab setup". How does a UI become that? It works and you don't break something that works as that old phrase goes. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm more concerned Google have to programme radically new interfaces everytime a release pops up. It upsets the user when you can have handsets that are software updatable.

      My other concern is that Apple have made a huge bummer over the maps app. For something that's become a pinicle to the iOS experience, it's been totally destroyed with a half-baked combo of already existing tools. I'd of thought Apple would of been working on it's own version whilst running the Google model since the first release of the iPhone. That worries me. I'm using iOS6 on my iPad to test it out (as the maps feature is less important for me on there). All the other new things are non-essensial to me as well apart from LTE. If I can't make use of the extra screen for a better web/map experience, then why bother? I will be looking at the new Nokia's (as I'm an old Nokia lover here from the good old days of 3310s etc).

      Fandroids here should cool down to be honest. Some of us that love Apple products know this iPhone 5/iOS6 release is a bit sour in the mouth.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

      Funnily enough, I noticed that as well.

      iPhone -> vivid. (Yay!)

      Samsung -> gaudy (Boo!)

      Review -> ever-so-slightly biased...

      1. Steve Todd
        Stop

        Re: Read this bit and rolled my eyes....

        99% sRGB gamut = good

        138% sRGB gamut = gaudy

        Not that hard to work out.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A bit too much misinformation

    Time was, smartphones did little that was actually smart. They had front-facing cameras and maybe a touchscreen, but operating systems geared more for a stylus than fingers. It wasn’t until the iPhone landed in 2007 that things changed. For the next few years Apple continued to deliver the brainiest of smartphones. No one else came close.

    Most high-end phones were a lot 'smarter' than the iphone on release/. It didn't have 3g, didn't have video calling, didn't have the ability to run 3rd party apps, no copy and paste etc

    There were also capacitive displays on other phones that were only geared towards fingers (that's why they were capacitive).

    I will agree that things changed with the iPhone, but not because it was truly amazing - if it had been released exactly the same but by a little known asian manufacturer it would probably not exist to this day.

    1. Reading Your E-mail
      Coat

      Re: A bit too much misinformation

      But I'm glad they put that passage in first though, at least I got rid of my lunch at the start of the article.

  18. Shardik
    FAIL

    Drool drool slabber

    wow, sycophantic review or what.

    As an iPhone 4 user, confirmed Apple Fanboi with a large number of iOS devices and iMac's scattered around the house, I am certainly NOT in the queue for the 5. Why? Because there's nothing worth getting excited about in it. It's got a bit more speed, so what, it's a phone. I have yet to meet a game I want to play that challenges the iPhone 4's processor. It's got a bit more screen. So what. I don't want to watch movies on a pokey 4" screen. What else does it have?

    What it has got is a shit new connector that obsoletes all my current docks and breaks the "just works" philosophy for absolutely NO good reason. Absolute fail.

    And as to iOS 6? Give me 5 back PLEASE. I liked YouTube and google maps

    1. JayBizzle

      Re: Drool drool slabber

      You can save the Youtube by downloading the Youtube app from the app store (yes it's a pain) but the maps thing is just google through safari which is highly annoying.

      Apple could do us all a favour and release the google maps app to download (this is probably quite easy to do in a short time) but they wont as it will be seen as a u-turn.

  19. Piro
    Trollface

    Sorry, but 90%?

    Goodness no, there's nothing here that makes you want to go out and stand in a queue for hours.

    1. Koyaanisq

      Re: Sorry, but 90%?

      Days*

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    why did they move the headphone socket?

    If it's in a pocket you need the socket at the top.

    I can't think of a situation where the socket at the bottom would be an advantage apart from some docking station - but that's what the Lightning connector is for....

    1. nigel 15

      Re: why did they move the headphone socket?

      just because pockets with the opening at the top have been the norm for some time doesn't mean apple can't change it.

      time to upgrade all your pockets to the new apple standard with the opening at the bottom.

    2. Andy 3

      Re: why did they move the headphone socket?

      TBH when I'm holding my phone and put it back in my pocket it tends to go in upside down as this seems to be the most natural way. To put it in so that the phone is orientated "correctly" involves making a conscious decision and effort to do and not a "natural" way.

      When you then reach into your pocket to take it out the upside down phone then comes out the right way up.

      Maybe that's just me? Maybe that's the way the majority of people do it and so Apple went with that? Maybe they just needed to make more space at the top and it fitted easier at the bottom?

    3. Marcus Fil
      FAIL

      Re: why did they move the headphone socket?

      Because they are idiots? The only things that interest me about this phone are the better processor and 'a bit more' battery life. FFS I had an Ericsson mobile (Not Sony Eric..) that had a thirty day battery. I don't want slimmer, I want tougher and a screen that doesn't crack when my daughter fumbles it in the park. I want a phone that still sits in my enhanced GPS car cradle. 90%? in the wrong direction!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Its only the lock in thats driving this release...

    The i owning masses are now realising that lock in is shit when apple makes its decisions for its congregation (maps - icloud that works the wrong way etc). But they still keep shouting amazeballs.

    90% ffs! How can it be when an 18 month old phone (N8) can still out perform its functionality and add lots too in virtually every area.

    Much like the dead tiles in iOS reflect the phone purchase thought patterns of their owners.

    Non!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Its only the lock in thats driving this release...

      If you can tell me how an 18-month old Symbian phone with lots of ridiculous menus etc and poorly written for touchscreen phones can beat a targetted OS for that market - then you can become God. Until then, I'll sit here with my feet up as I get more comfortable as every minutes goes by.

  22. Allyourbasearebelongtous
    Paris Hilton

    Where's the Paris angle?

    Enough said.

  23. Peter Gathercole Silver badge
    WTF?

    First sentence wound me up immediatly

    WTF does using a finger or stylus have to do with a smartphone being a smartphone?

    I assure you that in their time, Palm, Handspring, iPaq and many others were smart, and used stylii. They were smart because of what they could do, not how they did it. They still worked using rectangular icons arranged in a grid, with multiple pages and apps that used gestures rather than key presses. They could install software. They could do media, games, productivity applications, and they could interact with the outside world.

    My Treo functioned perfectly well with a stylus (conveniently tucked into a slot, always available), a pen top, or even a finger nail (I play classical guitar so I have an advantage here), but if the on-screen buttons were designed properly to make them large enough, would also work with a blunt finger. I used Graffiti all the time in place of a on-screen keyboard or even the keyboard buttons, so I never had to peck at a keyboard with a stylus or fingers.

    I am currently trying to find a decent stylus for my capacitive-screened phone and tablet, because it is just so much more natural for someone who still writes with implements to use a stylus. I'm sure that there will come a time in the not too distant future when we will find people who have grown up without having to learn to write with a pen or pencil, who find that using a finger is more natural, but to date, everyone who has been through school will have learned to write in the traditional manner.

    I look at the Galaxy Note 10.1 (not a phone, I know) with envious eyes, merely because of it's stylus. Looks like the best of all worlds, but is too expensive for me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: First sentence wound me up immediatly

      Stylus' were there in the 1990s/early 00s because no-one could be bothered to make OSs that were designed for finger touch and include a suitable touch-screen.

      The Galaxy Note 10.1 is poor. Hardly any apps know how to use the magic stylus properly. Hardly magic when you have fingers to do the work for you already.

      1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

        Re: First sentence wound me up immediatly

        You have your opinion, but I have to disagree. Styli were there because at the time, not only were people used to using pens and pencils, but also the necessary technology for capacitive screens could not be overlayed on a screen at a price point and energy budget that made it suitable for hand-held devices. There was also the problem that of technological and cost necessity, the screens were much smaller (my Treo had a 360x360 screen that was about 2" in diagonal), so on-screen buttons were small and you would not have been able to use a finger for anything other than the broadest of selections.

        I don't actually believe that there is a significant difference in UI design. I could scroll my Treo with a swipe of a suitable input device, but often it was just more convenient to use a scroll bar (it was the lack of processing and graphics power that made single large scrolls better than many small incremental scrolls rather than the input method). And what is it that makes a finger a better pointing device than a stylus, apart from convenience? It's certainly not more accurate! And I find that carrying around a polishing cloth all the time because of the grease marks a pain (I don't have olephobic coatings on my devices).

        I have not actually used a Galaxy Note 10.1, but I have used Wacom graphics tablets (apparently the same technology). There is no comparison between using a finger (which a Note can also do), and using a device that allows you to rest your hand on the screen, have total confidence that what the stylus is pointing to is accurate, and allows multiple levels of pressure to emphasize what you want to do. I suspect that you've never come across a situation where a pressure sensitive input device is a real benefit.

        On a Note, I would not use the stylus to play Angry Birds or select the next music track I wanted to listen to. But I may use it when browsing the Internet (too often do I select the wrong link with my index finger on my current tablet), and definitely would wherever I wanted to make notes, free-hand drawings or anything else that requires a high degree of accuracy.

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: First sentence wound me up immediatly

          @ Mr Gathercole. Got a Wacom Stylus. Works great with pretty much any capacitative screen. Personally I think 10" is too much to lug around and I love my Samsung Galaxy 8.9.

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      Re: First sentence wound me up immediatly

      Last year's Note works wonderfully with or without its stylus, and while unashamedly man-sized it's nowhere near as massive as everyone says once you get used to it. I haven't played with the new Note yet (no need; old Note's got plenty of life in him for the time being) so can't comment on how well it operates, but as long as Samsung haven't screwed it up (and they don't tend to do that) it's probably pretty useable...

      Or get yourself invited to one of the better class of trade show. There's generally someone in there handing out pens with capacitive stylus tops in exchange for five minutes of sales pitch... ;)

      1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: First sentence wound me up immediatly

        @BorkedAgain

        I've got some which do work to an extent. I'm using one now on an android tablet. Let me enter something with Graffiti without correcting it.

        Ths quick beown fx jumpes over the lazy dog.,

        'he quick brown .iox imizs over the lazy dog.

        Tite quick .browU fox juaes ovclr the laz= dog.

        Now with a finger.

        The quick brown fox jumpes over the lazy dog.

        Hmmm. Capacitive stylus not so good. And that is one of the better ones I have.

  24. Tim #3

    Repairability

    I always feel repairability is very important in guiding by buying choices, and I found a really interesting teardown of it here

    http://www.ifixit.com/Teardown/iPhone-5-Teardown/10525/1

    which at first indicates very promisingly that the two most common repairs- glass and battery- are nice and straightforward, actually the whole thing looks pretty good overall. However, I got all the way to the end of it before reading "The front glass, digitizer, and LCD are all one component, thereby increasing cost of repair." . Hmmph.

  25. Select * From Handle
    Trollface

    Where is the Meme icon for

    kill yourself...

    http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/kill-yourselfkill-yourselves

  26. DrXym Silver badge

    Why looks don't matter

    I rarely see an iPhone without a cover. Normally they're sheathed in some ugly leather case or silicon jacket. Kind of makes you wonder why the hell anyone cares what they look like underneath.

  27. Jim Coleman
    Meh

    Excuse me...

    I thought Saint Jobs said a 3.5" screen was absolutely optimal. So a 4" screen must be sub-optimal. Unless Steve was wrong. Was Steve wrong?

    1. uhuznaa

      Re: Excuse me...

      SJ has never been shy on changing this mind.

      Anyway, in 2007 phones still were getting smaller and smaller and compared to contemporary phones the original iPhone was a brick. Anything larger would have doomed it. Things have changed, people use their smartphones all day long for so many things that they accept even much larger phones now. Things change and was was right yesterday doesn't have to be right today.

      Anyway, I hate Apple, I think iOS is getting stale, but the hardware looks and feels great. Funny enough most Windows-Phones also look rather good while Android phones tend to look rather gaudy. Why is this so? Offer me a Lumia with Android and I'll buy it...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Excuse me...

        "SJ has never been shy on changing this mind."

        I suspect its limited now though to whether to turn clockwise or anti-clockwise.

        1. Dire Criti¢
          Devil

          Re: Excuse me...

          "Turn"?

          Or Spin?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Excuse me...

            Yes, well, hate to be a pedant (though I guess the quip depended on it anyway), but both terms are used. I've frankly always understood them to be interchangable, but I suppose there's a case for differentiating by rotational velocity, in which case the question might be as to whether we're talking turbine or dynamo. Though if the latter, the question of reversing the polarity arises, whereas I don't expect the former would have vanes allowing the late Mr Jobs the luxury of choice. So all-in-all this one-man jury's out on this.

  28. The Quiet One

    Very Poor Review

    This is the least technically accurate review I have read on this website. It's startlingly brief in terms of actually detail, overly sycophantic to the point of being nauseating and seems to spend most of the time covering up the bad points of this handset by saying "well everyone else does it too".

    I honestly have never posted a comment on an article before but this was so bad it has driven me to distraction.

    I would reccomend removing this article at the earliest opportunity until a less bias reviewer can be found to give us an ovjective view of the iPhone 5 without Jizzing in his pants about the "breathtaking" back cover.

    This is affecting the reputation of this fine publication and I urge you to re-consider!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks quite nice

    except for that logo. It's about as cool as one of those plonkers we used to draw in other kids' 'rough' books at school. One signifies the other.

  30. DaeDaLuS_015
    Facepalm

    Not really a phone review.

    It seemed more like someone sizing up their latest fashion accessory.

    Probably quite apt given the subject.

  31. Tom 7 Silver badge

    I notice the bloke who bought the first one in the uk likes it so much he's ditching it already.

    NT

  32. hexx
    Trollface

    c'mon fandroids, everybody knows iPhone is waaaaay better

    (let the downvoting commence)

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Watch the fandroids explode in rage...

    How dare ANYONE 'reccomend' an iPhone! Clearly you're paid by Apple to say such guff!

    It's all a Con! Laugh at the saddo iSheep queuing up for 8 days to get a iThing!

    Bigger Screens NFC , removable batteries and full customisation and lower prices win out all the time!

    Now where did I put that Galaxy S3? Oh wait, it's my coffee table.

    1. DaeDaLuS_015
      Happy

      Re: Watch the fandroids explode in rage...

      Erm, i feel it necessary to point out that you seem to be quite annoyed. Some would describe that as "rage".

      Just sayin'..

    2. Koyaanisq

      Re: Watch the fandroids explode in rage...

      How dare we point out how biased this review is! We're clearly all paid by Samsung!

      It's all a con! All this freedom non-Apple customers have!

      Smaller screens, lack of innovation, integrated batters, bland design and high prices win out all the time!

      Now, where did I put that iPhone 5? Is that it? No, that's the 4S. Is that it? No, that's a 4. ETC.

      What a fun game.

      No rage, though. You're just a shite troll.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Watch the fandroids explode in rage...

        OH MY! Sarcasm too!

        Clearly Fandroids dont like it when they have the pish taken out of them!

        Now go back to answering your 90" smartphone with 1000 widgets all draining the battery and requiring a 3.4ghz 12 core CPU!

        I'll be quite happy with my overpriced Fisher price phone tat explodes the second its dropped and requires a mortgage to buy acessories for.

  34. PaulR79
    Mushroom

    Anyone have spare facepalm lotion?

    "I'd rather have the Lightning adaptor than yet another USB AC transformer."

    Yes, I can see how you would hate to have another standardised connector to use with your new shinyshiny, it's far better to have to pay £25 for an adaptor. I'm not sure what you mean by a transformer since my phones over the past three years have all used a USB connector for charging and a small plug to go into the mains.

    There's a link at the top of each article that states "Get more from this author", is there, perchance, a link to get less of this author? It feels like Apple sneaked one of theirs in under the radar in exchange for replying to El Reg sometimes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Anyone have spare facepalm lotion?

      To be fair, the same author gave a reasonably rounded review of the Note 10.1 last month, although where it dropped 20% might be difficult to say...

  35. Bassey

    What makes a smartphone?

    Strange start to the article...

    "Time was, smartphones did little that was actually smart. They had front-facing cameras and maybe a touchscreen, but operating systems geared more for a stylus than fingers. It wasn’t until the iPhone landed in 2007 that things changed."

    Why does being able to use a finger, rather than a stylus, make a phone smart? You could argue that the first iPhone achieved many, many firsts, but being the first smartphone was not one of them. Indeed, I would argue it wasn't a smartphone at all (althought it was undoubtadly a very smart phone). And I'm still not sure the iPhone, or any of the other current crop of phones, can really do anything your average Windows Mobile device from 2003 couldn't do. It does it all better and faster but it is still a touchscreen phone with built-in data onto which you can install software.

    Maybe my point (if I made one) is kind of irrelevant but it just seemed strange to claim that being able to use a finger, rather than a stylus, was the thing that made smartphones smart - rather than, say, making them easier, more convenient, making the screen brighter and more readable etc. etc. etc.

    And yes, I still miss my old stylus. I have a capacitive one but it just isn't the same and it doesn't slot conveniently into the back of my phone like in days of yore.

  36. MJW
    Facepalm

    Ok, so if you are a rabid fanboi this is probably the greatest thing since sliced bread. If you are new to smartphones, it is worth looking at. If you are an android lover, there is nothing to see here, move on. Got it.

  37. Phil Potato
    WTF?

    That's some screen...

    First they maxed the iphone screen to make the ipad and now from the stats it looks like they've gone full circle and topped the ipad's measly 9.7 inches with a 14 inch iphone display...I'm amazed it fits in the hand so snuggly...

  38. Eddie Edwards
    Joke

    Have to say it ...

    "Though the 4S still has lots to offer, thanks to the arrival of iOS 6"

    Yes, because the 4S is the most up-to-date Apple phone that you can keep iOS 5 on.

  39. Brian 39
    FAIL

    Fanboi review.....

    Utter twaddle.

    Full of "Beauty" and "Amazing" remarks - after all this time and revisions to the original = pap.

    From the pictures in the article, it looks out of proportion with the 4.

    Emperors new clothes.

  40. Andrew James

    There's a lot to be said for individual choice. We are all (most of us, anyway) capable of making our own choices. I don't see any reason why so many people are so quick to call someone an idiot if they don't fall in line with their own ideals.

    "iPhone 5 is garbage, iOS is tripe... Android isn't locked in" etc doesn't really help anything. It makes us all look petty.

    I use an Android phone. My wife has an iPhone 4S, and before that she also had an Android phone. She's happy with her phone. It does what she wants it to, and it doesn't go about things in a particularly complicated way. This is one of the best aspects of iOS in my opinion.

    Android can be a complicated beast at times. I suggested it to my own mother when she needed to replace her ancient phone and wanted one that could do emails and IM for quick easy updates from my sister and myself on how the kids are doing etc. She can do the basics, but doesn't really see the point of all the bells and whistles like widgets. In fact, aside from a few basic setting toggles I dont bother with widgets myself. I have 2 home screens containing frequently used apps, and the rest stay in the app drawer out of my way. I could just as easily be using iOS instead.

    The argument doesn't stand up either that once you're locked into the iOS ecosystem you have to stay there because of all your apps etc. If someone has the money to pay £200 to upgrade to the newest version of the iPhone, they probably have enough money to get a free high end Android and pay to replace a mountain of apps if they want to. Theres no difference. But its a simple fact that convenience is for many people something that is worth sticking with. If you are happy with the way your iPhone works, why would you swap over and get an Android phone instead? And vice versa. The iPhone isn't quite for me at the moment, but then neither are the highest spec Androids that have huge screens etc.

    Am I missing something? Is there something in my Android phone that I can activate to make me despise iOS? If so, I suggest a lot of you turn that feature off, because you sound like morons.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Andrew James: God forbid you give an inch to Ios and iPhone on here.

      You'll be down voted the second you utter anything favorable to Beelzebub's dreaded can and string replacement.

      You speak too much sense, and are not nearly polarized enough to fit in round here.

      Round these parts, the iPhone is either a thing of beauty or uter fu**ing crap

    2. dz-015

      "Is there something in my Android phone that I can activate to make me despise iOS? If so, I suggest a lot of you turn that feature off, because you sound like morons."

      Well said. I'm reaching the point where the constant, vast outpourings of bile from "fandroids" in these forums is actually starting to put me off reading the Register altogether. It's entertaining in small doses, but now these people really need to start getting a grip.

  41. This post has been deleted by its author

  42. John Armstrong-Millar

    Actual journey

    It would have been nice to know if the turn by turn mapping actually works. And more interestingly (for me anyway) how much it will cost in terms of data roaming etc of if maps can be preloaded a la Tom Tom

    1. Andrew James

      Re: Actual journey

      All this would require a lot of time and effort. The phones are in the shops, people are buying them, other sites are releasing reviews and hands-on experiences all over the place. If El Reg dont jump in quick with something called a review for an iPhone 5, just imagine the lost traffic from people searching for a review ... and then the lost advertising revenue.

      You dont think they provide these reviews for our benefit do you? Or that they drop the word iPhone into any phone review, and iPad into any tablet review, just for giggles?

  43. thecresta

    Quote:

    "Limitations? There's the much publicised lack of NFC, but even the iPhone 5 naysayers have to admit there's very little need for it now, certainly as a payment mechanism. Next year, when the iPhone 5S comes out, maybe; but not now."

    How about if you don't want to buy a new iPhone? Especially not half way through a 24 month contract?

    I use NFC all the time, not just for payments. Just because it hasn't fully taken off doesn't mean it isn't used!

  44. Majid

    The lack of NFC will not be a problem until next year....

    But that is no problem because then the IPhone5S comes out? Surely not for a reviewer which gets a free IPhone if he writes a positive review. But most people have to pay real money for a phone. (Lots in case of an IPhone). I would hope that if I would ever be foolish enough to pay 500+ euros for a phone it would last longer than a year. Otherwise I would be pretty upset.

    1. Bad Beaver
      Stop

      Re: The lack of NFC will not be a problem until next year....

      Dude, cut it out. Did you walk by an Apple Store today? People obviously have money growing out of their ears. It's not an issue. You just buy the new one. And then again. And again. So shut up if you are too poor. Being poor gives being rich a stale aftertaste.

  45. Bad Beaver
    Facepalm

    Yadda yadda same in a new box – clearly deserves 90%

    If I ever need to explain the facepalm and its application to a young padawan, I shall dig up this review.

    OTOH, I welcome the iPhone 5 and all its coverage as the best piece of escapism for the month of September. The world is goind down the drain, muslim street riots, civil war imminent (read German news latetly?) – but iTards to the rescue! Your spendiness will save our every ass. Thank you.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ESP?

    I love the droves of fandriods giving opinions on a phone they have not seen or used.

  47. mosesthegoat
    Holmes

    El Reg's Apple reporting vs reviews

    I will say this: I've always found it interesting that for as much flak as The Register gives Apple, its reviews on Apple products are consistently positive. This leaves me with two possible explanations:

    1) They specifically have pro-Apple reviewers to offset the ridiculous amount of anti-Apple editorial in their reporting;

    2) No matter the prevailing El Reg opinion on Apple or its business practices, their reviewers actually recognize and acknowledge the quality of the Apple products they review.

    Personally, I suspect it's the latter. Perhaps I just want to believe that there are actually some (reality) checks and balances to all of the editorializing present in The Register's news. For as much as I enjoy El Reg, as a long-time Mac/iPhone user and a free-thinking individual, I am truly tired of being categorized as technically incompetent, marketing-manipulated and borderline retarded.

    So how about toning down the vilification and gnashing of teeth a bit, lads? Let's save our blood and come for the forthcoming zombie apocalypse, which should provide us all with some much-needed perspective!

    1. MastaBlasta
      Angel

      Re: ESP?

      It's called a spec sheet. Let me explain the concept: You can use these to compare devices before making a purchase based on features. If you looked at one, you'd see that there are good reasons why those mean mean people say bad naughty things about the holy iPhone. This of course requires you to be open to considering other devices, and not just what Apple feeds you.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: ESP?

        Ok - let me explain something to you. A lot of what people evidently love about apple products is to do with the beautiful designs, aesthetics, ease of use, and attention to detail, not whats on a spec sheet, which Apple would not publish anyway. These things are important to some people.

        If you don't think those things are important, fine - get your plastic Samsungs. For a lot of people, its the entire package that counts - including how it feels in the hand, the quality of finish, the simplicity of operation.

        For an illustration of this concept, have a look at http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/07/jd_power_smartphone_survey/ . Samsungs have better specs in general agreed. Yet they trail the iphone in customer satisfaction by some way.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: ESP?

          "If you don't think those things are important, fine - get your plastic Samsungs."

          Have you ever held for example a Nokia C7-00 or 701 in your hand? This 2011 device feels fantastic with a brushed aluminum back, metal rim around the gorilla GLASS screen (hmm... a bit like an iphone 5... I guess Nokia could sue them). It feels solid and looks more expensive than what you pay for in the shops. The funny part is that unlike the iPhone these models have removable batteries and microSD card slots.

          Oh and they HAVE NFC as well :-) Works great sending pics and contacts from one phone to another.

          Anyway. Being a popular consumerproduct doesn't mean that it is a good consumer product. VHS is always used as the prime example.

          "not whats on a spec sheet, which Apple would not publish anyway. These things are important to some people."

          So yes, I'm disgusted at Samsung for STILL using razorthing crappy cheap plastic for supposedly premium devices. But again it is the most 'popular' Android phone. So for a lot of people the things on a specsheet are important too. Proven by your comment in itself. Because lets be honnest. The smartphone 'market' is actually a battlecamp between Apple and Samsung. All the other players play an (unfortunate) insignificant role.

          In essence (some) fandroids are as narrowminded and brand-hypnotized as (some) iPhone-lovers.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: ESP?

        Bullshit. A specification sheet means absolutely sod all unless you have used the product. If a product works well with 1GB RAM then adding 2GB doesn't automatically make it twice as good.

        If a product has a higher resolution screen compared to another product then this doesn't automatically make it better. It is the PPI that matters sometimes.

        It is people like you who believe the megapixel myth.

        If you compare a 2.0 litre petrol engine with a Mazda RX8 you would think the 2.0 litre engine smokes a 1.3 litre engine. Except the two engines are using different technology.

        Personally I couldn't give a toss about what the hardware in the iPhone 5 is, it is the software that matters and iOS is falling behind, Android is from Google and therefore out, so it's Windows Phone 7 and 8 for me.

    2. dz-015

      Re: El Reg's Apple reporting vs reviews

      Very well said.

  48. MastaBlasta
    FAIL

    "Apple’s ease of use, highly populated App Store and irresistibly sleek hardware design"

    So Android is too complicated for you, but not my 60 year old mum? The design is great if you love bezel. Given the resources that Apple have available, they could easily invest 10x more in R&D than they do and actually produce something spectacular. However, why should they bother hitting their profit margins when they have a fanboi army ready to convince themselves that Apple hasn't fallen behind?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Apple’s ease of use, highly populated App Store and irresistibly sleek hardware design"

      I've said this before. The day my wife stops coming to me with her Samsung phone saying "how do I do.....?" will be the day I might admit that Android is a better OS

  49. Steven Raith

    I'm not going to go as far as....

    ...suggesting this review is a shill, but Jesus Christ, the lack of any kind of real, relative criticism of the hardware and software (Maps, the fact that the iPhone is barely catching up with the top end alternatives, etc) just makes this review an absolute fucking joke.

    Seriously El Reg, sort your editorial policy out. Clickbait is one thing, but this is just fucking embarrassing. It reads like someone reviewing a porn film as if they were the star.

    When in fact, they were the breathless, fat saddo who is just watching someone else get laid.

    Fix it, fix it, fix it, or dump RegHardware.com into the pool of domains never to be renewed, because this is nothing short of embarrassing.

    Steven R

  50. stuartnz
    Thumb Down

    Did I use iOS6 Maps to get me here?

    And end up at Wired.com instead? The "everything Apple does is so much better than everybody else" tone of this alleged review was pure Cupertino spin of the sort I've come to expect from Wired, not El Reg. Has the author forgotten that the company whose boots he licks with this article is the same company that bars El Reg from its worship services?

    "Not everyone wants such a palm-spraining phone" - a perfect example of how hard the author works to hew to the Cupertino Scriptures which state that every point of superiority of non-Apple devices is actually proof of the iPhones divinity, if viewed correctly. I have cerebral palsy but even my hemiparetically weakened right hand has no trouble at all holding my S3 - nothing "palm-spraining" about it.

    I'm not the sort of psycho fandroid who thinks the iPhone is an evil piece of merde, but given the staggering reach of Apple propaganda in media, I came to El Reg confident that there would be some attempt at objectivity, some consideration of both the iPhone 5's strengths AND weaknesses. Instead, I got the standard iGospel - there are no weaknesses, only strengths not perceived correctly by the infidels.

  51. Richard 1
    FAIL

    I agree with some of the other comments on here. Whatever my feelings on the iPhone 5 (or any other iPhone, for that matter) this review is abysmal. There's nothing tangible in there at all. It mentions a few sparse technical details and spends more time telling us about the feel of the plastic as though it were a naked woman. Just the kind of mindless drivel I would expect from an Apple Fanboi. It certainly didn't help me make an informed opinion on the new phone and glossed over a number of downsides.

    Maybe failing to make the screen much bigger is a good idea? On what planet? The 16:9 aspect ratio seems weird as web sites want to be wide, not tall, but films look great? What is it? A phone or a media player?

    Terrible review. Not sure about the phone.

  52. CmdrX3

    In the name of Sky Fairy

    I don't mind a favourable review, but wtf. Is Reg trying to get back on Apples invite list or what. It sounds more like the reviewer was having a jizzfest with the phone rather than reviewing it properly.

    Oh and by the way, in reply to... "If you’re an iPhone user, you’ll want to move on up to what is surely the classiest handset from Apple yet".

    Ermmm.... No not really, I see nothing about the iPhone 5 that makes me feel the need to rush to replace my 4S. Anyhoo, the reviewer may get himself out of here, I have a feeling there is a queue he needs to be getting into.

  53. OrsonX
    FAIL

    The clock icon

    still say 10:15

    even on my (jailbroken) iPhone3G it shows the correct time. It's painful to my eye when I see those rows of stuck in time icons.

  54. kraut
    Holmes

    "The thinnest, slickest, fastest iPhone yet."

    Whereas manufacturers usually make their next gen phones thicker, clunkier and slower? Next you'll be telling us a new washing powder washes faster than the last one....

  55. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    FAIL

    16:9

    We all know that 16:9 is best for watching videos. However, despite the ads this is not what phones excel at because of the ergonomics: comfortable viewing puts the screen at around 60 cm away at which distance a phone is simply too small or does the phone have an HDMI output to a TV? Tablets, however, … oh the I-Pad is still 4:3.

    1. Manu T

      Re: 16:9

      @ Charlie Clark

      Nokia N8 (16:9 aspect ratio) and miniHDMI out (cable supplied IN the retail box).

      Connect a BT keyboard/mouse combo and you have a TV-computer. Kinda like the ZX Spectrum but more advanced (as it plays Angry birds, fruit ninja or NFS too) ;-)

  56. armyknife

    End of Humanity ?

    Is this what we've been reduced to, arguing the toss about the virtues or otherwise of a piece of shiny plastic/glass ?

    How about we redirect some of this passion towards somewhat more important issues, be those in your own lives or the wider world ?

  57. Dana W
    Meh

    Wow the astroturfing is thick today.

  58. Dana W
    Trollface

    Too funny.

    Lets see, can I impersonate an Android fanboi?

    "Whaaa, stop buying millions and millions of them! I told you they suck! Stop being the best selling iPhone ever! You don't love them! I TOLD you you don't . They are not fun, easy to use and well made! I said so! If yo don't like the same thing I do and you don't buy exactly what I tell you to you are an idiot who can't think for themselves! Think for yourself and get what I TOLD you to buy!"

    Pretty much sum it up? Saddest pile of sour grapes I ever saw. The sheer fear and anger in these posts is hilarious. Seriously, buy what you enjoy and stop having a fit that not everyone is an Android Android. I swear you people are bigger control freaks than any Apple user I ever met. You spend more time worrying that someone may have the "wrong" phone, its lie reading baptist complaining about sex.

  59. Ben 54
    Trollface

    ROFL

    USB - None

    Micro SD - None

    And should I dare mention the map mess?

    90% - WTF!? Maybe someone who is less biased and not a smartphone use do a proper review?

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can't take anyone seriously, who thinks gadgets and phones can be compared, for which is the "classiest"

  61. El_Fev
    Thumb Up

    This is one stupid ass thread...

    Its a phone ffs, all of you need to either take a chill pill or go get laid!

  62. S2S
    FAIL

    panoramic fail

    Anybody even looked at that panoramic pic ? It's awful, just rubbish, blurred

    ghosted joins, terrible. Did the fanboy who took it even look closely at it ?

  63. Bob Hoskins
    FAIL

    Apple pay everyone to pimp their kit

    Nothing new here.

  64. kparsons84
    Angel

    Nietzsche Got It Right

    The idiots rushing out to buy a phone that's overpriced and way down the pile in features OS and hardware, and yet who still worship anything Apple does simply prove the great mans point:

    'Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.'

    Tards, you're clearly already there.

  65. Daniel Barnes

    Being the rabid Apple fanboi that I am, you would have thought I would like this review, but I don't!

    It's far too gushy and seemingly one-sided. There are no negative points, the new map app should be highlighted as a serious negative, I'm sure in the coming months it will be fixed and be great, but in the here-and-now it's crap!

    There are a lot of good things about the iPhone 5, the cpu looks very tasty indeed and even though on paper it looks like it is sub-par compared to the likes of the S3, in reality it smokes it, but that is to be expected, it's a newer device. In a few months time an Android phone will be released that beats this one, that's just how technology works!

    I like Apple products, have done since I was young, but I've also owned and enjoyed Android devices and before the iPhone came along I owned various Windows mobile devices too that I also enjoyed (apart from the spv e200, which had a horrendous joystick that kept breaking).

    I've got an iPhone 5 on order, should be with me in a few days, it'll be a nice upgrade to my iPhone 4, but that's all it is, a phone upgrade. Nothing to get too excited or foaming-at-the-mouth about (for or against!).

  66. marc 9
    Holmes

    It's not about specs!

    I remember reading comments on here when the original iPhone was announced claiming how the N95 would walk all over it, because it had a better camera, SD slot, GPS, etc etc. What matters is, how well does the software works with the hardware and online services?

    I like the design and will probably getting one. Samsung et al keep making these screens bigger in the way Gillette keep adding more blades to their razors. That's not innovation!

    1. Greg J Preece

      Re: It's not about specs!

      I like the design and will probably getting one. Samsung et al keep making these screens bigger in the way Gillette keep adding more blades to their razors. That's not innovation!

      So you're buying the iPhone 5, which has "bigger screen" listed as one of its new features...

      That's not innovation!

  67. Manu T

    "Time was, smartphones did little that was actually smart."

    Actually they were smarter. They could (automatically record both incoming and outgoing calls), they (used to) have full bluetooth transfer and syncing capabilities (for when the youngster ask for that pesky ringtone of your to beam over), if the internal storage wasn't enough you could insert some sort of memory card (I believe they used to call the last of these MicroDS... I think.. Its been so long... oh dear)...

    Anyway, about being smarter. Has any El Reg people actually looked at the Application Situations from Pastilli Labs. It's for symbian (but there will probably excists alternatives for other platforms or not...). This is an awesome app that actually does make you phone smarter. In OSX they used to have something called 'automator' I think)

    Oh and can you guys pleas stop those demeaning comments about past penbased-smartphones. You deliberately put things out of their context. Back then the big thing was handwriting recognition which was only possible on resistive screens. Another smart thing that current smartphones can't do.

    We're not progressing. We are regressing. Things are changed for the sake of change not for the benefit of people.

    For instance why isn't the reviewer mentioning the nanoSIM which is not common and restrict potential customers from going to another phone. The stupid change from the connector and the fact that many peripherals won't work with the (every) adaptor cables. Or the fact that the EU wants universal charging mechanism (microUSB) and that yet again Apple dismisses that! While it should make things far easier for everyone.

    In fact 2012 was a dissapointing year with regards to smartphones. None have the wow factor or is 'feature complete'. I guess I'll stick with my 2011 model for another year. Which is smarter then these.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They were also really clunky. Feature phones had all the slick animations and nice interfaces, Smartphones had none of it. It was the iPhone that added all the nice animations and decent UI to smartphones.

      1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

        @ac 19:04

        You don't think that the fact that they were older technology, having been around for quite some time before the original iPhone or most touch screen feature phones might have something to do with why they were 'clunky'? I would have loved to have seen a Palm TX with a phone grafted on. That would have been a device that could have stood up to the original iPhone. The Treos were great, but they wasted too much space on the keyboard.

      2. Greg J Preece

        They were also really clunky. Feature phones had all the slick animations and nice interfaces, Smartphones had none of it. It was the iPhone that added all the nice animations and decent UI to smartphones.

        Ah, so you're a magpie.

        None of what you've listed makes the phone any smarter, which is the point he and I were contending.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          The definition of smartphone is not clear. It typically means you can add extra abilities by programming software for it.

          But the point I was making was the iPhone was the first "slick" smartphone, before then they had very ugly, clunky interfaces with poor usability which even a dumb feature phone from Sony Ericsson made look like primitive technology.

          The iPhone made the smartphone consumer friendly and not some sort of toy for nerds, after the iPhone launched smartphones went mass market. I went from being one of about three people in the office to have a smartphone to almost everyone owning one.

          Windows Mobile was awful to use, Symbian was awful to use, UIQ was awful to use. There was nothing smart about them, they were terrible devices to use. I only really got on with Windows Mobile smartphone edition as it was designed for key use and not some stupid plastic stick.

          1. Piro

            I had two UIQ smartphones

            P900 and P990.

            Yes, they were fiddly, but I enjoyed them for what they were at the time. Hell, ScummVM ran fine, and you needed a stylus to play Monkey Island on such a small screen..

  68. Redundent Asset
    Thumb Down

    Poor review

    As nether a android or iphone user the quality of this review is rather poor. I would at least expect a side by side review against a competitor rather than the previous version.

    1. Drewc (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Poor review

      What do you think the iPhone 5 should be compared with?

      For most people, the comparison between the new iPhone and earlier versions is the most useful, surely?

      1. Hardcastle the ancient

        Re: Poor review

        No-one will be choosing between new & old iphones. It seems an odd basis for comparison. Surely what matters is a comparison with other later 2012 phones.

        And I'd have understood this review better if the rushing adjectives had been objective or numeric comparisons, or had detailed examples of build quality or ease of operation. Show your working.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Poor review

        No... I don't have an iPhone 4... so if I'm looking at a new phone you need to be comparing the new iPhone 5 with its peers from other manufacturers..... to help me decide which new phone I should buy.. Would you review the latest Dell laptop and compare it against the previous model?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Poor review

        Windows Phone 8 devices, since they're on the verge of release and so they're around the same age.

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What?

    90% for a £530 phone with 16GB of storage and no expansion slot? Yeah, right.

    But at least the reviewers Reg article is less hagiographical than the piece he wrote for the Indi. Though not by much I admit.

    I was hoping for better from the Reg after the more considered review of iOS 6 that ran a few days ago

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What?

      The storage thing doesn't really bother me, but the phone going over £500 is a huge mistake. Especially when you factor in all the cables, chargers, car kits and docks that are no longer going to work.

      iOS6 was no big secret, that alone disappointed. But this is a lazy release, Apple should be about making life easier, so where is the wireless charge option?

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slick - really?

    Here's what we have:

    Against:

    1. The black model is very susceptible to scratching - i.e. Apple decided not to shell out for DLC, but went something much cheaper.

    2. The maps app is just crap: a real step backwards, and Apple is relying on you to be the beta tester - see here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/21/apple_maps_fix_them_yourself/

    3. Apple is not providing a dock accessory, so it won't sit cleanly on your desk, but still felt the need to change the connector for no real good reason. And you can't use anyone else's dock - they're all for iPhone 4s and below. It will not be easy for third party manufacturers to design a connector that works across current iPads, iPhone 4s, and iPhone 5, without adding bulk or easily losable adaptors.

    4. The UI is looking dated, and hasn't kept up with Android, and even, arguably, with WinPhone 7 and 8.

    For:

    1. Bigger screen. Thinner.

    2. Old apps still work fine.

    1. the-it-slayer
      Meh

      Re: Slick - really?

      "4. The UI is looking dated, and hasn't kept up with Android, and even, arguably, with WinPhone 7 and 8."

      That's not even a valid reason for being a negative. You don't radically change a UI and then confuse your users. What's so dated about square icons with rounded corners?

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks naff

    The phone on the right in the second photograph has better proportions - more aesthetically pleasing. Jobs (Mr aesthetics over all personified) would be rotating in his grave.

  72. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Panorama shot - don't look too closely

    The stitching is crap.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Price Correction

    Please note the 64Gb version is £699 pounds not £649 as stated in the header at the top of the article.

    1. nigel 15

      Re: Price Correction

      i reported the price correction as soon this puff piece was published. made no difference.

      presumably David Phelan and his iPhone are too busy enjoying the love that can only exist between a man and and iPhone to care. or else his faith in apple is so strong he refuses to accept that iOS maps is wrong and is currently stood in a field wondering where his house went.

  74. Troy Shanahan
    Stop

    Seriously guys?

    Okay, we need to put a stop to this nonsense.

    Okay, I can officially name myself as an Android fan. (Not a fandroid, there is a difference.) My best mate is much the same, only with Apple. We always have good natured debates over which is better, my Galaxy SII or his iPhone 4s. In the end, neither of us are saying 'you should convert', we're simply comparing the two phones.

    Yes I agree with most, this was a dismal review and I expect better from El Reg. But seriously, the choice comes down to personal preference. Apple or Android? Who cares? They both make calls, send/receive emails and SMS, and have well stocked app stores.

    And to all the people saying 'go out and buy your tacky plastic Galaxy SIII', okay, I most certainly will. I like the plastic finish of Samsung phones, once again, that's my personal preference.

  75. Tom Kelsall
    Thumb Down

    But... But... But...

    This article is a long list of "Sure the other phones do this too, but this is an iPhone".

    I (and many, many people around me) don't WANT an iPhone. We want the latest tech, the best spec, and a reasonable price. When are El Reg going to get around to publishing a review written by someone who doesn't care about one ecosystem or another, and just writes an honest, down to Earth review?

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have to say, this article makes me despair somewhat. But not as much as the comments thread does. Jesus wept.

  77. Greg J Preece

    Time was, smartphones did little that was actually smart. They had front-facing cameras and maybe a touchscreen, but operating systems geared more for a stylus than fingers. It wasn’t until the iPhone landed in 2007 that things changed

    Couldn't even get past your opening paragraph. Are you fucking kidding me?

    Prior to the iPhone arriving, I had several smartphones. Real ones. They had HSDPA, GPS, bluetooth, "apps", video playback, voice control, video calling, front and rear facing cameras. Basically, everything the iPhone 5 has, just clunkier and slower. If you can seriously write with a straight face that Apple invented the smartphone, you don't know what you're on about.

    Is this really the best reviewer you have, El Reg?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I understand that it is official Apple history that they invented the smart phone.... and obviously this reviewer loves Apple so much that he believes anything they'll tell him.

      1. Greg J Preece

        It astonishes me that people so readily buy into this crap. How can you possibly refer to a phone that debuted without even copy & paste functionality or a 3G connection as some kind of fucking genesis? In fact, it's far more accurate to say that:

        "When the iPhone debuted, it did very little of anything that was smart. It was a jumped-up feature phone, lacking almost every feature necessary to be called a smartphone."

        1. Giles Jones Gold badge

          So what if it was limited?

          If feature count was that important then Symbian Series 60 would still be on top. Symbian is pretty advanced and there's tons of features on those phones that people are just getting around to implementing now.

          I had my phone reading my text messages to me in 2007.

          But guess what? the interface was awful and the interface is the most important thing. If you don't feel at one with a piece of technology then you'll slate it and hate it.

          Many people got used to Word 2003 and Word 2007 doesn't remove any features, it is just that they are so much harder to find now. End result is many people hate it.

          1. Greg J Preece

            Yadda yadda, interface is shiny, yadda yadda, mass market, etc, etc...

            Did any of you read my original post? The reviewer is claiming that the original was superior on a technical level, which is patently was not. I also admitted that the old smartphones were clunky. WM2003 did indeed have a horrible interface, but none of that changes that it was (and to some extent still is) technically superior to an iPhone.

            You can blather about how shiny the interface is as much as you like, but that's not going to make the beginning of this review brown-nosing exercise any more accurate.

    2. Giles Jones Gold badge

      My first smartphone was the Nokia 9110 communicator which I had in early 2001. Since then I've used all sorts, Windows Mobile devices, Symbian and iOS.

      All of them had atrocious user interfaces. Start Menus and fiddly WIMP interfaces, or no touch screen at all (Nokia communicator, Symbian).

      Apple took the ideas from these awful devices and made them suitable for the masses. They knew nobody wanted the stylus and that qwerty keys meant the screen had to be tiny. So they knew finger input on a capacitive screen was the way forward.

      It doesn't matter what you think about Apple, the smartphones we have today are all because of the turning point of the iPhone 1, it wasn't even a smartphone when originally released either. But everyone publicly dismissed it and said it would fail while secretly buying them to copy the interface. Google's original Android phones looked like Blackberry phones, so you can't really say the iPhone didn't influence the industry.

      So they weren't the first touch screen phones, but the first to be a product suitable for the masses, not geeks.

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I see the fandroids are on suicide watch...

    iPhone 5 in "Improved Durability" shock:

    http://youtu.be/6M5q5TRuAsY

    iPhone 5 in "Faster than any other handheld" shock!

    http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2410034,00.asp

    But wait, all is not lost! Google maps smokes Apple's shit map app!

    There you go, all back to normal now.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I see the fandroids are on suicide watch...

      But it's a good thing the S3 breaks so easily. It makes it easier to replace with the iPhone 5 under your phone insurance.

  79. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Does it come with eternal life yet?

    In the last demo of the iPhone which I saw Mr.Jobs denied the roary crowd its awesomeness due to their hostility.

    SO I can't help wonder; has eternal life been added?

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sales pitch?

    "So it’s fair enough that Apple has upgraded [the connector]."

    Until this point I was about ready to suspend my disbelief that this was an objective review, but once you start making apologies for the manufacturer, all bets are off.

    And the verdict just comes across like a marketing pitch!

  81. This Side Up
    WTF?

    Link cock-up

    Why do the links for your back pack reviews lead to the iPhone 5 review?

  82. alex 61
    FAIL

    baah

    just another iphone, roughly a cm longer and with "new" functionalities many other older phone had in ages.

    the phone will do the job and it is probably nice to use until you travel or until you realise that 4g on your network doesn't work.

    most of the original annoyances are still there.

    90%? give me a break.. it's effectively the same device as the 3g, with better hardware.

    the iphone is just very mediocre nowadays.

  83. the-it-slayer
    Facepalm

    Shame no fandroid will actually go and try one...

    Went a played with one this weekend. Still not 100% on it, but can appreciate the small changes have made it much different to the 4/4S. It's pretty much bang on the limit for the thinness though. Whether the aluminium back was a good idea, I'm not sure. I always feel the 4/4S is premium because of the full glass front/back. Again, the maps lets it down.

    Only the Nokia Lumia 920 will sway me away from iPhone 5 in March.

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