back to article Catapults, subsidies, and benefits: Bongonomics explained

"Investigation may be likened to the long months of pregnancy, and solving a problem to the day of birth. To investigate a problem is, indeed, to solve it" - Mao Tse Tung from Oppose Book Worship (1930) JACKSON HOLE, Wyo. Greetings, fellow entrepreneurs! By the time you read this I shall be on the playa at the Burning Man …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Ryan 7
    WTF?

    What the frak

    am I reading?

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: What the frak

      Your Bong-fu is weak...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What the frak

      ...not the last paragraph, apparently. Please empty your desk, and we'll have someone from security escort you from the premises shortly.

  2. Admiral Grace Hopper
    Thumb Up

    Perfect delivery, every time.

    6 Sigma, Bongster, out of the park.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    i keep reading these, hoping they're going to become amusing, they don't. maybe I'm missing something.

  4. mhenriday
    FAIL

    Wow, Mr Bong, I'm impressed -

    after all, it is not everyone who can write the Thai glyphs for «Mālay» twice in the same, purportedly English-language article, so that no one misses how enlightened he is, at the same time that he has difficulty with the romanisation of 毛泽东's name. But then he confesses himself to be a devotee of that master of wooden prose and economic illiteracy, the late (un)lamented Alisa Zinovjevna Rosenbaum. Why am I not surprised ?...

    Henri

  5. Tikimon Silver badge
    Trollface

    Voight-Kampff time for Mr. Bong?

    Has anyone confirmed Mr. Bong is human? Has he taken a Voight-Kampff test? At least been seen to solve a CAPTCHA or two? This article reads like a computer-generated SPAM message. At a glance it looks like sense but the semi-random pieces don't fit together into a coherent narrative.

    And did you ever see a machine try SO hard to be hip and cool? OMG, his phone has an undecipherable symbol for a name, is it trying to get it's real name back like Prince?

    Going for me coat now...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Has amanfrommars been recruited as a staff writer

    As this reads like one of his ramblings.

    Seriously, what the hell is this guy on about?

  7. Jediben
    Happy

    Well I got a chuckle out of

    "as surely as that Samsung guy in The Bible had his strength drained by the hairdresser chick."

  8. Gazareth
    Happy

    To all not getting these columns...

    ... I prescribe catching some episodes of Nathan Barley.

    Not making sense is much of the point of these columns :)

    1. Admiral Grace Hopper

      Re: To all not getting these columns...

      I envy all those who don't get these columns, they've obviously not been marinaded in this sort of rubbish as part of their working life.

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: To all not getting these columns...

        Or they are the ones that are doing the marinading, perhaps?

        1. Admiral Grace Hopper

          Re: To all not getting these columns...

          GPWM. We're going to need guns.

  9. John Styles

    Catapults

    I am sure I felt a blood pressure spike when I first read

    http://www.innovateuk.org/deliveringinnovation/catapults.ashx

    I mean transport systems WHAT THE F***ING F***ING F***??????

  10. PyLETS
    Devil

    No subsidy better than what the public doesn't understand as such

    Money changers don't want to pay taxes, but are happy for the state to provide educated staff, regulation as light as it best suits them, bailouts when they're too big to fail and ajudication services so that contract enforcement doesn't have to involve bloodshed, you know the way this gets done in the illegal drugs marketplace.

    Ah well, you can fool most of the people most of the time.

  11. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

    What ever happened to "synergy"?

    Is it not hip anymore? Similarly, I did not spot a single instance of "proactive". I must be getting old.

  12. IHateWearingATie
    Windows

    Well I thought it was funny...

    ... but then as @hplasm says, I'm the one usually marinading others in this :)

  13. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    I love

    the sound of WTF in the morning.

  14. Nick Pettefar

    Burning Man

    This guy would do very well there, maybe standing on a corner of Blackrock city wth a megaphone and bowls of soft fruit for the good citizens to hurl at him. I can see it now.....

  15. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    I can't decide....

    whether to be amused or annoyed at all the people complaining they don't get these, or responding to them as though they were meant to be taken seriously.

    Even if you've just read your first Bong! column, surely you could check some of the comments before posting in bewilderment or rage. If there aren't many comments for that particular Bongle yet, you could notice the links to earlier installments, follow one of those, and look at the comments.

    As we used to say back when Usenet reigned supreme: lurk before posting.

    Ah, well, Eternal September is eternal. Lawn, off, &c.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019