The others are good but the above is the only one that is both funny and wont confuse newcomers or those who don't spend every day hanging out on El Reg.
Everything Everywhere is looking for a new name, and El Reg readers haven't been backwards in coming forwards with suggestions so we present a poll from which you can pick the best. Orange and T-Mobile, the consumer brands run by EE, will (we're told) continue to exist, and they'll be no more EE shops, but the parent company …
A 15m mast? You'll now get good mobile connectivity in your immediate neighbourhood.
It will only affect house prices if the people buying are the stupid technophobes that you really wouldn't want to sell your house to, anyway.
If it affects your TV signal in any way, either your aerial installation is deficient or your TV is faulty - both YOUR problems.
Enjoy your improved mobile service!
How can you have any certainty if it's the same person any time?
(Incidentally, this is my favourite argument for posting anon. People can only argue with the opinions you express and your grounds for expressing them, not just because they hate you personally for some arbitrary reason. Suck on that, tleaf100 [not your real name]).
An idea taken from a (sadly short lived) tv show called The Middlemen, there was an energy dink simply called !!! (just three exclamation marks) and to pronounce it you stamp one foot on the floor and at the same time put your hands palm outwards as if you were saying "ta-da!"
I especially like "?" as shorthand for the what-you-expect-them-to-give-good-reception-everywhere-and-decent-data-rates whine that some PFY behind the counter at a phone shop is indicating by that helpless/useless shrug.
Nut "something sometime" is a bit too honest for an *actual* marketing campaign.
However "Anything anywhere" might be what *they* themselves would prefer.
I think it's definitely time for another company called Tangerine. Since T-Mobile's colour scheme is pink (or magenta?), and Orange is obviously orange, it seems apt.
Either that or TOM (T-Orange-Mobile).
Or possibly T-Orange-Mobile Telecoms and Information Technology (TOM TIT).
I'll think I'll stop there.
... put the words "I've tried" in front of the current name.
"I've tried everything everywhere" keeps the now well known name brand completely intact, as well as conveying their average customers cries when they can't get reception.
Paris because she's had everyone everywhere.
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