back to article Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Pierogi versus patatas revolconas

Now that the dust has settled on the ultimate sliced-pork butty controversy - a furious debate prompted by our Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie deathmatch - we feel it's time to crack a few cold ones and head out into the sunshine for another culinary clash of titans. We've been enjoying a particularly fine summer over here at …

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  1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Great artery-clogging food

    Now for some clootie dumplings with slumpie

    and extra butter of course

    1. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: Great artery-clogging food

      I don't need to taste them to know the winner:

      One of them had bacon; the other did not.

      1. stucs201

        Re: Great artery-clogging food

        Ah, but I feel that bacon would be a reasonable addition to the first one. Proper bacon though, none of this pancetta rubbish.

        1. John Sanders
          Facepalm

          Re: Great artery-clogging food

          Panceta rubbish?

          You have no clue mate, no clue.

          Panceta = Spanish for QUALITY Bacon.

          1. steogede

            Re: Great artery-clogging food

            >> Panceta = Spanish for QUALITY Bacon.

            High quality Spanish bacon is still Spanish bacon.

      2. Steve Evans

        Re: Great artery-clogging food

        Whenever I've had pierogi - usually the meat variety - it has not come with chopped fried onions, but with chopped fried bacon as a garnish.

        As I usually consume them in Krakow, I suspect this might just be the proper way ;-)

        BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them. The last frying stage optional.

        1. stucs201

          Re: Great artery-clogging food

          "BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them. The last frying stage optional."

          Since when is anyone in search of post-pub nosh thinking about the state of their arteries?

          1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

            Re: Re: Great artery-clogging food

            Exactly. I apologise for suggesting people might like to cut down the salt content of patatas revolconas.

        2. Osgard Leach
          Facepalm

          Re: Great artery-clogging food

          Re "BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them."

          Sounds delicious mate but I need mine to circulate me blood

  2. Trygve

    so when do you stop with the analysis...

    and commence on the synthesis?

    I presume that after drawing up a comprehensive list of the finest nosh, El Reg will identify the critical success factors and combine them all into a brand-new world-conquering neck-filler. Eggs Vulteros? Patatas Registrado?

    1. Osgard Leach
      WTF?

      Re: so when do you stop with the analysis...

      Surely the evidence is already in man?

      We apply Occam, we note the bacon buttie already exists, we chow down.

      No doubt the red sauce heresy will rumble on but these so called alternatives will fade rapidly as people realise you actually have to BOIL THE FRIKKIN SPUDS!

      Jesus, there are INGREDIENTS in some of these things! You have to LEAVE STUFF IN THE FRIDGE OVERNIGHT! There is the very real chance of WASHING UP!

  3. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Pierogi

    My local multi-lingual supermarket provides ready-made pierogi suitable for sticking in the freezer until a suitable hunger moment presents itself. The obligatory English translation on the packet charmingly explains that the contents are:

    "part-made food product edible after heat treatment"

    Lovely!

    (Though as a Yorkshireman, with the firm belief that the phrase 'too much mashed potato' is a grammatical impossibility, my vote is for the spuds on this occasion.)

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Pierogi

      Yes, the spuds are pretty good. Adding paprika to mash is an inspired idea, I must say.

  4. JetSetJim Silver badge
    Holmes

    At first glance, I thought...

    ...that the Pierogi was just going to be a "mash-pasty", but then you do weird things like first boil it and then deep fry it (was that step invented in Scotland?). I'm sure that has a delicious potential to clog your arteries with all the retained oil.

    In my youth I cheerfully added a tin of corned beef into the pasty for a "hash pasty" - addition of chilli, garlic and other spices was known to happen, but I only ever baked it.

    1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      Re: At first glance, I thought...

      I have happy memories (although my waistline and arteries don't) of a chippie in the village of Guardbridge (near St.Andrews, in Scotland), back in the late 70s, that used to deep fry everything, including the pasties and meat pies. In lard of course. To be fair, they did cut the steak pies in two and drain the worst of the fat out before serving. But, washed down with a bottle of Irn Bru, beats nectar and ambrosia any day!

    2. John Sanders
      Facepalm

      Re: At first glance, I thought...

      Olive oil will not clog your arteries.

  5. jai

    and now i'm starving hungry and it's ages until they start serving lunch in the canteen :(

  6. JimC Silver badge
    Happy

    Presumably the next stage

    Will be to complete a knock out tournament with the first round winners taking on each other, and then further round suntil the grand final...

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Presumably the next stage

      Funnily enough, my regular tasting panel suggested just that. When we've done enough deathmatches, we'll see...

      1. Gerhard Mack
        Thumb Up

        Re: Presumably the next stage

        You need to put those dishes up against the Paella de Pato Picante that I've had one of the local restaurants in Torrelodones - La Colonia inflict on the local populace. It is always fun to watch the Spanish suffer through two helpings of that.

  7. Tom7
    Pint

    No. Just no.

    Sorry, but post-pub nosh must have enough protein to do some good. Fried potato product is all very well in its way, but a good lump of bacon has to be part of it. Both of these fail.

    1. Cubical Drone
      Paris Hilton

      Re: No. Just no.

      I must agree about more protein needed. Also, where is the grease!! Granted, there is some on the bacon, but I am not talking about a few drops here or there, I am talking about an amount of grease that would make the BP Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico proud (over here in the states there are regions where bacon grease is a food group), and properly coat the stomach. Now you may be saying that the frying of the pierogi will give you some, but if you have properly heated the oil, it should soak in very little, so more grease is still needed.

      As for the health effects of the grease and salt, let’s remember this is not supposed to be health food. You are eating this after you have assailed your liver with an amount of alcohol that could be used to disinfect all the equipment in a large hospital, so the health ramifications should not be a worry.

      Paris because the grease helps keep her coat nice and shiny.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why two seperated dishes?

    As I see it you've got cheese and onion in mashed potato empanadas and bits of fat(*) in spicy mashed potato naked.

    Why not just throw everything together and using proper bacon to have spicy bacon, cheese, onion and mashed potato empanadas.

    I'm going to try this at the earliest possible moment.

    (*) As far as I'm concerned pancetta is just a way for pork farmers to offload their bacon fat to peasants by giving it a fancy name and telling them how exotic it is.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Why two seperated dishes?

      The paprika-spiced bacon pierogi? That's a provocative combo - I'm going to give that a go too.

      1. Arrrggghh-otron

        Re: Why two seperated dishes?

        That sounds like a winner right there...

      2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Why two seperated dishes?

        Lester,

        A friend of mine's in-laws are Latvian. They cook something they call pierogs. So they seem to have got pluralised from pierog the English way. But it seems to be more of a bread roll with bacon in it than a deep fried potato pasty. I can't believe you missed such a perfect opportunity for bacon consumption though.

        This is the death match that is going to send me to the kitchen I think. Trying paprika in mash sounds quite nice - but I'm definitely going to give pierogi a go. This is a bank holiday weekend, perfect time to try...

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: Why two seperated dishes?

          So, the Latvian pierog is actually a bacon sarnie? Butter or brown sauce with that?

          Good luck in the kitchen.

  9. JDX Gold badge

    I thought post-pub food was something you could manage when half or fully cut. e.g. bacon sandwich. Reg's dishes seem like proper cooking to me, I'd just go to the dirty takeaway rather than risk dropping it all on the floor or burning myself and/or the house!

    1. Corinne
      Go

      Yep that was exactly what I was thinking. Post-pub one shouldn't be capable of throwing together something that actually involves making pastry!

      I will agree that some of the dishes sound fab but seem more like day after hang-over cooking to me. What happened to the theory that the food should be able to be made while drunk? Classics from my past include a version of corned beef hash (throw broken up contents into a frying pan & stir now & again) or fried bread with a hole in the middle into which you break an egg so that fries too (ideally in butter not oil) - both quick & easy, involve no measuring & very little effort with the added advantage of being high in both protein & fat.

  10. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Pirogi

    Well, in that wayward part of Russia, which now calls itself Poland ;-) they seem to have grown somewhat confused about what is pirogi.

    Firstly, proper pirogi are baked, never boiled/fried - only the street vendor cat&dog meat variety was done that way and it wasn't ever considered proper pirogi.

    Then, as far as the filling is concerned - mashed potato is just one (and not the most popular) type. Also if you do mashed potato pirogi, add at least some fried onions and mushrooms, otherwise your guests will seriously underwhelmed.

    Minced meat, chopped cabbage or cabbage/sauerkraut mix, boiled egg and spring onions, salmon and rice are other widespread combinations and, in general, you can experiment with anything you like.

    Sweet varieties can be made with apple, berries (bilberry, cherry, strawberry, raspberry), quark and raisins, poppy seed & walnuts, rhubarb filling, to name but a few.

    1. Radek
      Mushroom

      Re: Pirogi

      Well, it's getting political! ;) Funnily enough, mashed potato filled version of pierogi is called Ruskie in Poland.

      Although other options are well known & available, this particular one is my favourite - for completely non-political reasons :D

    2. VeganVegan
      Thumb Up

      Re: Pirogi

      That's what I remember form the old country. Especially the hard-boiled eggs: massive amounts of cholesterol compensates for the fact that pirogi's should be baked, not fried.

  11. Miek
    Thumb Up

    Chuck some ground beef into those Pierogi, mmmmmmmm

    1. Steve Evans

      And add fried bacon bits - mmmmmm

  12. pctechxp

    tough choice

    For me though it has to be the spud based dish FTW

  13. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Pierogi

    Surely these are much easier for post beer grub, and most petrol stations stock them, produced by a company called "Ginsters" I believe...?

  14. Z-Eden
    Thumb Up

    When cooking Pierogi, I use Canadian Rye flour. Also, I mash the sour cream and cream cheese all up for the filling. Delicious with a side of fried garlic mushrooms! Don't forget the Rye vodka. Na zdrowie!

  15. Bill Fresher
    Thumb Up

    Hurray, my favourite grub in a death match.

    Thanks for giving the pierogi a go Lester -- although personally it's the meat ones that do it for me.

    1. Bill Fresher

      .. also, a sprinking of well fried bacon bits over the pierogi works a treat.

  16. RodB
    Megaphone

    suggestions?

    Hey, how does one send in suggestions for the next deathmatch? I have a pretty satisfying dish loaded with cheese and pastry.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: suggestions?

      Post your dish of choice here: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2012/05/15/Lester_Haines_Postpub_nosh_deathmatch/

  17. Steve Button
    Thumb Up

    Better Polish food.

    Sałatka (seriously, look this up - it's awesome)

    Bigos (of course - cooked for the 3rd day is best)

    Gołąbki (no actual pigeons harmed in the making - just meat wrapped with cabbage - but delicious)

    ... or just stick some sliced kołbasa on the BBQ. (careful, it falls through the grill.)

    Just saying' :-)

    Yum.

  18. Steve Evans

    Can I suggest...

    Can I suggest a Polish dish for the day after the pub?

    Rosół - It has revived me from the dead on many an occasion. Leaving me in a presentable condition and ready to re-enact the previous night all over again.

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Can I suggest...

      Aka "Jewish Penicillin" or just "chicken soup" in Russia. That is THE way to do chicken soup. None of that "cream of chicken" nonsense!

    2. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Can I suggest...

      I like the look of it. Consider it added to the list. Have just been having a look for a recipe...

    3. PM.
      Thumb Up

      Re: Can I suggest...

      This knowledge makes you a pro when it comes to partying ...

  19. Steve Knox
    Trollface

    The sad day when...

    Lester loses his Internet license, as the Meme Police discover that he suggested that a dish without bacon in it might possibly be equivalent to, let alone better than, a dish with bacon in it.

  20. BigG
    Paris Hilton

    Streetview shot

    Some of those roads look to be in lovely condition - and not a toll-booth in sight.

    Paris, because I'm sure she'd approve of those splendid white lines too.

    1. Osgard Leach
      FAIL

      Re: Streetview shot

      EU loans mate, didn't end well.

  21. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    pierogi <-> gyouza

    I suppose that people eat dumplings nearly the world over. My favourite would have to be Japanese-style gyōza. Mix up minced pork, cabbage (finely chopped, lightly salted, then squeezed to remove moisture), spring onions, shrimp, ginger, garlic (all finely chopped or minced) and sesame oil and for the filling with just plain flour and water for the wrapping. There are as many ways to cook these as pierogi, but I think the best is to fry them first in a very small amount of oil then put a small amount of water in the pan and cover it so that the steam cooks everything. Remove from the pan when all the water evaporates and serve with a mix of soy sauce and chilli oil.

    Besides tasting delicious, they look great too if the edges are pleated properly (very fiddly to get exactly right, unfortunately).

    1. Peter Johnstone

      Re: pierogi <-> gyouza <-> jiaozi

      On reading the article, my first thought was that pierogi look like Chinese Jiaozi (See http://chinesefood.about.com/od/dimsumdumplings/r/jiaozi.htm) which are usually boiled, but can be fried. The come in an almost infinite variety of fillings a mix of mined port and prawns is popular but mushrooms, spinach, pine nuts make a vegetarian version. My wife sometimes uses carrots and fennel leaves to make them. The one filling I haven't seen is potato and cheese as cheese is non existent in Chinese cookery.

      The Chinese do a variety of variations on this theme varying the thickness of the wrapper with xiaomai/huntun(wontons) having the thinnest wrapping; xiaomai are basically open topped wantons, and baozi (steamed bread) which is basically a bun with a meat or bean paste filling in the center. Other variations include the way the dumpling is shaped. I've seen some shaped like rabbits to appeal to children.

  22. Hakenpuc Hepek
    WTF?

    And then we could have an article about Kim Kardashian, or better yet,,that whatshername meme mother of the year. WTF? Cooking? Really?

  23. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    Looks bloody brilliant, Lester....

    Still sticking with the bacon sarnie (Finnish Girlie's left hers in the 'fridge with a bite taken out), but I'm a man, not a mollusc. (She doesn't like those, either - Bearded Clam phobia, maybe?)

    Anyway, I'll give these a shot! Finally, a use for the pasta machine I bought 12 years ago, and has yet to be taken out of its box.......YES!

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Mushroom

      Re: Looks bloody brilliant, Lester....

      A pasta machine??!!!???

      If you can work out how to use a pasta machine to make post-pub snackage, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn.

      You're not drinking enough.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    pierogi-mania

    an alternative pierogi variant - stuffed with fruit. Usually strawberries. Or blueberries. With some sort of cream and / or sugar topping.

    Alternatively (2) the basic salty variant mentioned in the article, but fried in butter. With sour cream, no sugar this time ;)

    actually they do offer two types of pierogi in the UK supermarkets (yeah, one of them with the "heat treatment". And, as it happens, the more expensive brand is not too bad. The other one... too bad ;)

    Regards,

    pierogi-muncher

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