back to article REVEALED: Everything Everywhere new 4G logo ... a SNAIL?

Everything Everywhere has chosen a surprising design to accompany the launch of its 4G next-gen mobile broadband in Britain, we've discovered. Ten trademarks were registered with the Intellectual Property Office on 29 May, and have now emerged: the ten include the phrases "4G Every", "4G Everywhere", "4G Everything Everywhere …

COMMENTS

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  1. wowfood

    Everything Everywhere

    Like your home broadband, but slower.

    1. Lord Voldemortgage

      Re: Everything Everywhere

      Is it a dead snail?

      Is it a coiled poo?

      Yes! It's Everything Everywhere.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    nuff said

    slimy,

    inderderminate sexuality,

    slow,

    armoured against complaints,

    big brother eyes on stalks,

    does not like salt...

    ** wonders what form digital salt can come in to test it ***

    1. frank ly Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: nuff said

      Do they salt the stored hashes of user passwords? Anonymous will probably test that....oh, it's you.

  3. Thomas 4
    FAIL

    Ooooh

    I wondered what happened to the design team behind the truly inspirational "Lisa" Olympic Logo. Another masterstroke here guys!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ooooh

      What about the OGC logo?

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1901656/OGC-unveils-new-logo-to-red-faces.html

      (although perhaps it was just a way for the graphic designers involved to imply that they thought their customers were a bunch of wankers?)

      1. Imsimil Berati-Lahn
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: Ooooh

        New keyboard please!

        In fact, good job I'd just been or I would be invoicing you for a new chair too.

        Someone somewhere won a bet with that logo, no doubt.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ooooh

        maybe the e logo is the product of.. err.. the OGC logo.. or maybe the London2012/LisaSimpson logo.

        looks kinda like a confused.. err.. tadpole

  4. Parax

    not just a snail...

    It's a dead empty upturned shell..

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does this mean we will have to buy a new phone again?

  6. b166er

    How fast is our 4G network?

    Just look at that S car go.

    What!? I like Trading Places :)

    Joke doesn't really work though does it? But then, neither does the logo.

    Beef jerky time.

  7. HumbleHobbit

    A dead snail at that!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Snails are related to the fastest animal.

    The worlds fastest animal has never been seen doing anywhere near it's maximum speed. Therefore it's generally assumed to be one of the slowest.

    But unless it was a particularly fast animal, why else would the slug be such an aerodynamic shape?

  9. Nya
    Joke

    It's not even a snail...it's a dead snail, it's fallen off the leaf, it's no longer of this world, it's an ex-snail...

  10. Great Bu

    I found a very informative article

    On the 4G revolution here:

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/speculation-continues-over-what-the-fourth-g-is-2012082238767

  11. Code Monkey
    FAIL

    Also the snail's on its back - ready to be noshed by the first passing thrush or Frenchman.

  12. Vince
    WTF?

    Accurate at least

    Well I'll give them marks for honesty - I mean Orange's service DOES run at a snails pace normally.

    Apart from that WTF, FAIL and er WTF

    I wouldn't mind but you know some crazy design/marketing company will have made a ridiculous amount of money from this utterly stupid concept. Assuming it's real.

  13. GeorgeTuk
    FAIL

    I don't normally concern myself with worrying about other people's logos...

    ...but that's just a bit crap.

  14. LaeMing Silver badge
    Coat

    Snails can go really fast.

    Saw one the other day in a sports car with the number-plate simply 'S'.

    As it raced by, I turned to my friend and commented "Wow did you see that S-car go?"

    1. This Side Up

      Re: Snails can go really fast.

      There is actually a van called the S-Cargo which immitates the Citroën 2CV van. It was made by Nissan.

      1. Not That Andrew

        Re: S-Cargo

        Lovely little things. Never understood why they stopped making them. Should have licensed things properly with Renault and made a passenger version as well.

      2. TeeCee Gold badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Snails can go really fast.

        Even more clever when you remember that one of the nicknames for the 2CV is the Tin Snail and that the S-Cargo was never intended as an export model (those you see are grey market jobs).

        Yup, it's a deliberate bilingual pun, a damned good one and neither of the languages involved are those of its market....

  15. Chronos Silver badge

    Ex snail

    Not only that but it seems to have gone belly up. For a gastropod, that's disastrous.

  16. dotdavid
    FAIL

    Snail?

    Looks like a whirlpool to me, and probably represents the one they have sucking up the 3G signal at Kings Cross.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Snail?

      Indeed. My first thought was, "Snail? Nah, obviously they're admitting that their service is circling the drain!"

  17. Pooka
    WTF?

    Maybe...

    They've been watching Neverending Story and it's a racing snail.... those little gits were fast!

    Posted via Falcor, because everyone needs a luck dragon that looks like a dog...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Maybe...

      I had a racing snail once. I thought I'd speed it up by reducing the weight so I took the shell off, but instead it just turned really sluggish.

  18. 8tpercent
    FAIL

    Sega's lawyers are getting ready to take them to court, as the snail looks like their (tm) Dreamcast logo...

    http://thegamershub.net/wp-content/uploads/Dreamcast-Logo.jpg

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Prior "art"

    Erm ... i think they may find that logo has already been taken: http://debian.org/

  20. David Cotterill
    Trollface

    1997 called. Apparently IBM want their logo back. http://www-03.ibm.com/ibm/history/history/year_1997.html

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dead snail

    Actually, that shell looks upside down, so isn't it more like a dead snail!

  22. Steve Crook

    It's not a snail

    It's the vortex generated by your money disappearing into their coffers...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chrome snail with go-faster stripes

    For the necessary slick & shiny. Just add lightning grease, and it'll be over everything, everywhere. Yep, ticks all the whalesong boxes, so it's appropriate. Whether this sticky state is something you'd actually want is something else again, of course. Maybe they'll start a sideline in cleaning products?

  24. This Side Up
    FAIL

    EE

    With such a ham-fisted, long-winded, cack-handed, drawn-out brand name like "Everything Everywhere" what do you expect?

    As foar as I'm concerned EE stands for one company only: English Electric.

    1. Gwyn Evans

      Re: EE

      Surely that was EEV (English Electric Valve Company)?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Remember

    "4Got it already!"

    As a handy sign up catch phrase, or not.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    It is an empty shell.

    And like the empty shell, when you hold your 4g phone to your ear you hear white noise.

  27. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Could be an ammonite

    And they are extinct. Not just six foot under and pushing up the daisies, but many, many strata below.

    Makes as much sense as the other explanations

  28. Khaptain Silver badge

    openSuse Chameleon

    it looks like they cut of the tail and threw away the body.

  29. NJ
    Facepalm

    New EE name - anagrams

    Could only come up with a couple

    Real Minge Boot

    One Tomb Lager

  30. Andy 115

    Whale song and jossticks...

    Are what were clearly missing.

  31. TheOtherHobbes

    At least

    It has rounded corners.

    1. Anonymous John

      Re: At least

      Apple won't like that.

  32. Putters
    Go

    Why not ...

    ... after all, one of the best British sportcars of the 1960's had a tortoise for a bonnet badge ...

    Quotes from the GORDON KEEBLE OPERATING, MAINTENANCE AND SERVICE HANDBOOK 1964 -

    "WARMING UP THE ENGINE

    DON’T start up a cold engine and then leave it idling while you rush indoors to pay a belated farewell to your wife.

    In the interest of minimum engine wear, skip the farewell and drive away. When facing the music on your return in the evening, make a mental note henceforth to adopt a definite sequence of events prior to your morning departure. You will achieve substantially diminished wear from your engine and deserve greater affection from your wife”.

  33. Cameron Colley

    Isn't that a sarc mark?

    Perhaps they're trying to admit something?

  34. thedweeb

    It's not a snail

    It's the flight path of the Oozlum bird.

  35. Kirst

    Like our service: No Direction

    Our new service levels?

    Where are we headed around and around and......

  36. Kwac
    Linux

    It's

    Everything Everywhere - Debian

  37. IglooDude

    I gather they chose a snail logo in a sudden fit of marketing honesty because a tortoise came across as a little too resilient and determined.

  38. Lee Dowling Silver badge

    - Date the company by putting a technology name in its name (Because "Windows 2000" sounds really modern, as would "56K Modem Solutions Ltd." nowadays).

    - Provide it with a symbol linked to slowness when you're trying to sell speed.

    - Confuse everyone by consistently running three separate company names (What's wrong with Orange & T-Mobile Group?) and then further by saying you'll rename again.

    Yep. Seems they ticked the boxes on the sheets of any major logo / slogan designer I've heard of in the last 20 years.

  39. Dick Pountain

    Well Fucked

    There seems to be general ignorance about gastropod sex in this forum. The link is that when you've been fucked by a snail you know you've been fucked (look it up)

  40. Swarthy Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    I don't see the snail

    I do see a seriously poorly drawn @, tho (the kind my 4yo son would draw).

    ...The dead snail may be a nicer interpretation.

  41. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    speaking of go-faster stripes

    I'm reminded of that joke in Trading Places. You know... the "look at that S car go" one...

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "4G Every@" - pronounced 'forgery at'

  43. TeeCee Gold badge
    Alert

    Spiral logos.

    I take it that none of the designers who chuck these things out have ever read any of Michael Moorcock's Jerry Cornelius books.......

  44. cortland

    Looks like:

    Hurricane Isaac on the map!

    http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/gtwo_atl.shtml

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