eBay? I vaguely recall the name from back in the late 90's. Neat. They're still around.
The ire of the world's witches, warlocks, and other practicers of the psychic arts will be focused on eBay shortly, after the company banned a range of intangible mystic items from its site. According to the Fall Seller Update, from September "advice; spells; curses; hexing; conjuring; magic; prayers; blessing services; magic …
When Facebook closed down my page 'Warlock of Words Spells to Success'' I put a word curse on them. Look at them now, share price halved. Another top up word spell from me and they will be gone!
If eBay stop me selling my word spells, one word curse from me and they'll be GONE too!
Many years ago, I was having a good hearted debate with another manager as to which of us had the most odd staff. She revealed her trump card, a white witch. She won.
When discussing this staff member, she said that she had asked her witch if she was going to get cursed for X Y or Z and was told that a witch wouldn't use destructive spells as they believed that they would have the same effect on the person casting them as the target.
That appears to be a complicated way of admitting that you can't scream "AVADA KEDEVARA!!" and have your target fall dead to me, but hey.
They purchased one of the wealth and love spells, and it don't quite work out the way they had planned, as no one has lost any of either for them.
But seriously,if I could get someone to send me money for good (or bad) wishes, good on me then. I guess the purveyors of these services will have to now send a token item to their victims...I mean customers, or is it worshipers..
I always feel sorry for the ones that collect and cut and polish them, all they want to do is tell you where they're from, why the colours look so good and what they are made of and how it happened geologically, when the customer probably just wants to ask "but will it cure my fear of spiders and get me a man so I can stop collecting pet cats?" ;)
"The ire of the world's witches, warlocks, and other practicers of the psychic arts will be focused on eBay shortly,...'
Well okay! We will FINALLY have that empirical test of the efficacy of magic and magical potions on real-world events! Let's make it as follows: If three of eBay's top executives turn into newts in the next month, then we can all accept that as proof of the real-world efficacy of magic, sorcery, and witchcraft.
If not, not.
we saked one of the hell desk monkeys once because he was well..... useless really and there had been numerous customer complaints. He did however fulfil the rest of the selection criteria which were is he a) cheap and b) available i.e have a pulse
his wife is some kind of witch, head of a coven she rang up and cast a spell on the HR bod that was supposed to give her cancer. She also found a fetish of some kind attached to her car
its 6 years later and she's still fine
If you can prove that in court, isn't it attempted murder ?
The Court does not need to believe, it just needs to record that she used something she believed would have that effect, so attempted murder.
At which point, of course, she goes all hysterical and says, on camera, "but it's all just nonsense !", or something to that effect.
Capture, post on YouTube and educate the masses.
She gets fined for contempt of court.
Hey guys, I had a revelation, I'm no longer a skeptic, Rudolf Steiner is totally normal and is now my God ;)
I worship his Gnomes too. And I guess I really ought to stop printing out colouring pages with actual black outlines to colour in .... that's bad ;)
Also, I have taken to burying cow-horns full of manure at auspicious phases of the moon, and using old, non-biodegradeable and untested fungicides and pesticides! Plus I've issued an edict forbidding plants from naturally producing the 99.999% by weight of the pesticides that you eat.
Additionally I am using a homeopathic whisky treatment which means I am still drunk as a skunk although I didn't have any for 2 months ;) I made use of millions of parallel universes to get the required amount of ice to dilute it :P
I'm an atheist and I collect Tarot Cards. So I was afraid it was one of those "ban the non christian religious toys" things that happen now and again in the US. One of their gags here for example is schools where you can wear a cross all you like, but wear a pentacle and they will declare it a "gang sign" and confiscate it. "They know damn well it isn't, but its hard to claim religious oppression when you are oppressing everyone else yourself".
Religious twaddle peddlers hate competition..
I"m glad to see you can still buy the props. All they are doing is banning the quacks. Probably because people wanted Paypal refunds. And say what you like, pagan types make pretty toys.
Where were all those psychics on 9/11? You might think that a major event like that would cause *some* disturbance in the force.
Maybe any who saw it coming were sensible enough not to come forward, knowing they would likely be declared a suspect and be disappeared to an overseas prison camp for some extralegal interrogation.
A sensible psychic would just happily win the lottery and then confine their ability to predicting the questions at the next pub quiz.
...those stupid pet rocks people sell? I don't see the point in banning one sort of gibberish and letting in other. Just let people sell what they want. If someone wants to buy an "online tarot reading" let them waste their money.
It's not as if eBay has much credibility as a legitimate retail site. It has been said - careful to avoid libel - by some that half the stuff on their auctions "fell off the back of a lorry" anyway, so why don't they ban those 200 pairs of half price Nike trainers that suddenly appeared on the site...
A pet rock is still a THING. What IS a psychic reading? How do you quantify it for value? How do you measure it?
If i sell you a comic book for two dollars you have actual goods. If sold you a a Mojo Bag, you would still have tangible goods. "albeit silly ones" But If I sold you a "blessing" or a "Curse" or a "psychic reading" I didn't really sell you anything at all.
And I'm still betting eBay was getting demands for PayPal. refunds on sales of psychic reading when they turned out to be just as effective as flipping a coin
"A pet rock is still a THING. What IS a psychic reading? How do you quantify it for value? How do you measure it?"
So you would never pay to go to the cinema, theater etc? After all, a play isn't a thing. How can you measure or value a play or a film? Not so easy is it? It's not about value, it's about utility. The movie has utility because it brings happiness. If some dopey mouth-breather thinks an online palm reading brings him peace of mind, let him have his fun.
Well there is a big diffrence between a movie screening and a blessing or a curse.
First of you clearly know what you're buying. A moviegoing experience that will last a certain amount of time. The exact content of the film probably isn't known but that is a part of the agreement.
With a blessing/curse you're not buying the service of someone changting for X minutes and burning Y sticks of incense. You'd buy an actual curse or blessing. A negative or beneficial force acting against or in someone's interest.
Now with a movie you can clearly say in the end 'Yep, I saw a movie'. You can like it or dislike it but it's clear you got what you bought.
But after the chanting is done. How do you know this curse/blessing worked? ( Well you ought to know you threw away your money because magic is just bunk. )
There's no way to measure it, no way to say 'yep that bastard's cursed' and making it stick.
"But after the chanting is done. How do you know this curse/blessing worked? ( Well you ought to know you threw away your money because magic is just bunk. )
There's no way to measure it, no way to say 'yep that bastard's cursed' and making it stick."
There is no way to measure the "value" of anything. You could go Marxist and support the utterly debunked Labour Theory of Value, or any other belief, but in the end it boils down to it's worth what people are willing to pay. There is no way in hell a pair of jeans is worth 500 pounds, but I've seen them in the shops so someone, somewhere disagrees. Is an iPad worth what you pay for it?
If a product is falsely advertised, e.g. "This curse will definitely kill your enemy!", then of course it's breaching advertising rules. If not then let people waste their money. Besides, how can you call something a "pet" rock? Surely a prerequisite for being a pet is it must be alive. If not, it doesn't fulfill any function that a pet is generally agreed to perform.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm getting worked up over this. I actually don't care. I haven't been on eBay for about 6 years. If they stop selling magic crap, another website will spring up and sell it. I was just feeling argumentative.
Actually, that's precisely how they do it, with "remedies". Like, "Cargo Cult Science" ... you present it with a white labcoat on, make sure the packs look like real medicine, same typefaces, colours and card-paper etc,, and bribe the shops into placing it on the same shelves as real medicine. In an actual chemist shop. And make sure the profit margin is juicy enough for them not to be able to say no. The main clue is that they are usually significantly "overpriced" compared to real things. Plus, the lack of a normal "active ingredients" table printed on the side, no weights in milligrams or micrograms quoted (there isn't anything measurable inside), normally just insane dilutions.
I notice they have taken to putting small amounts of herbal flavours and alcohol in them now, to make them taste more "authentic" and not just like dramatically overpriced lactose filler :P
eBay probably got sick of bearing the transaction costs of refunds, I'd love to read the reasons for the requests if they exist and look like what I think they might look like, I demand a refund because:-
.. the hex on the barking dog next door didn't work, it still barks, louder if anything.
.. I used the spell to get an attractive man, and now I'm being stalked by a lesbian.
.. I did NOT win the lottery, this elixir of perfect number choosing did not work.
.. despite drinking the wisdom potion my IQ is still 90, I can provide transcripts of my before and after tests.
.. I immersed my dead hard drive in the water of Asmodeus as instructed, it made lots of pops and bangs, and even smoke came out when I plugged it it, so it appeared that it had worked like most magic does, but it still didn't show up when I plugged it into the USB port.
.. the potion of ethereal transport didn't work properly, I'm now stuck in the Argentinian Embassy instead.
Nah, it alludes to a possible future escape attempt. It was meant to move him to a actual South American country, but instead it shunted him into another South American country's embassy... clearly the potion maker was a bit lazy and put some London tap water in, instead of some water from the North and South Atlantic oceans. He should use this assumption when updating the open dispute in eBay's resolution centre.
There was this guy called Martin Luther who had something to say about whether you could buy the help of a deity. You don't have to agree with the details of his belief to think he might be right on that point.
I have friends and acquaintance who are witches. They warned me about this sort of thing. According to their belief system, you shouldn't sell your craft. They put something of themselves into a working, and can you really buy a person?
A few years later I was in hospital after a road accident. Spell or prayer, you can use a lot of labels for the good wishes of friends, and I'd do the same for them.
Not everything can be bought or sold in the market. Not every debt we have can be itemised, counted, and precisely repaid.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
The problem in addition to the suckers that "buy" the service want to believe in it, but those who "sell" the product also believe in it (I had a previous girlfriend in that category, now "ex" for good reason!).
Maybe they can sell the services to the CIA (same EX-gf said they paid!). So logically the CIA may be the clearinghouse for such transactions. Now there is a plan!
Well burn the witches at the stakes...... And burn all the books, well digitize the books, oh google is already on the job, but you know what it might be better to run your own webpage/hocus pocus and keep control over your own magic potion to make money, because the web, art and money are doing too many disappearing acts.....
Vanishing Post! Is freshp2
Does this mean that Wichcraft is just as effective as Placebo (and Homeopathy), but with extra naked lustful cavorting outdoors? Dear Lord, I think Boots might have missed a marketing trick there, could they make me up a starter pack with vouchers and so on? Should it go in the "butt-naked and natural" section of the shop? ;)
If magick actually works, why aren't there sorcerer PC/electronics repair shops?
It would seem to be a top seller if you could take your Wiimoted/beer glass damaged/etc ruined flat panel TV to them and have it fixed for less than the cost of a new screen+labour.
The absence of such would suggest that (a) it doesen't work, or (b) it does but not on inanimate objects i.e. placebo effect.
AC/DC Level 78 FixitWarlock :-)
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