back to article Smutty books strip Harry Potter of Amazon crown

EL James' over-hyped bonkbuster trilogy, Fifty Shades of Grey, has become the best-selling book ever on Amazon UK, stealing the title from JK Rowling's seven-novel Harry Potter collection. The first novel in the Fifty Shades series has experienced twice the number of sales Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, taking the saucy …

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  1. Lord Voldemortgage

    A triumph

    Of marketing. I doff my helmet to whoever managed the promotional campaign.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A triumph

      Indeed marketing over literature. But everyone has been reading it*, so a success of some kind.

      *Though not me. although I may be the only one - Mrs Coward's aunt denounced it as poor writing in an Amazon review.

      1. Vic

        Re: A triumph

        > Mrs Coward's aunt denounced it as poor writing in an Amazon review.

        My missus read the book. She said it was like reading some child's re-write of a story it hasn't properly understood...

        Vic.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: A triumph

          Well it start off as Twilight slash fic, apparently, so that's not surprising.

  2. TeeCee Gold badge
    Facepalm

    Old news.

    "Pr0n more popular on teh internets than ANYTHING ELSE!!!!1111!!!!!"

    That's so last decade as an article.

    1. deains
      Headmaster

      Re: Old news.

      Actually more like two decades ago now. Just to make you feel old 'n stuff.

    2. Tim 11
      Happy

      Re: Old news

      Au contraire; this book is obviously being read by people who don't realise you can get real pr0n on the internet. maybe the same ones who watch beach volleyball http://tinyurl.com/cl8n3th

      1. jonfr
        FAIL

        Re: Old news

        They want subscription. Too bad. I like internet humor web sites. But it is not worth to subscribe to them, or any other news site for that matter. Paywalls do not work.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Strange

    When I sat down on the train and took out my copy of Backdoor Sluts 9 I got nothing but disgusted looks.

    1. CmdrX3

      Re: Strange

      And rightly so...... the whole thing went downhill after Backdoor Sluts 4, so you should have stopped there. :-D

  4. beardman
    IT Angle

    oh... amazon and e-book..?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      e book

      much rather have a real one to be honest

  5. Jedit
    Trollface

    Oh, the humanity!

    Stephenie Meyer must be squirming. She's just become the first bestselling author in history to be outsold by her own fanfic.

    1. Lockwood
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Oh, the humanity!

      The post is required, and must contain letters.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Customers who bought this item also bought...

    Inexpensive White Wine

    Bubble Bath Solution

    Waterproof Massager

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Customers who bought this item also bought...

      That's why a female friend of mine wants it.

      I'm not so portable.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    e book

    much rather have a real one thanks

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: e book

      Good for you!

      Thanks for that :o)

  8. LinkOfHyrule
    Coat

    True story....

    Well, I went on Amazon the other week to order Fifty Shades of Grey - I thought the price was a little extortionate at first but I guess it's the price you pay for finding out what all the fuss is about...

    Imagine my surprise two days later when a pallet full of Dulux turns up at my front door and the delivery man says to me "I have your fifty shades of grey here mate!"

    b-boom!

    Mines the one with splodges of "Lovers Drizzle Eggshell", "Midnight Depression Matte" and "Major's Extra Dull" all over it!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Record sales of this must mean...

    it is officially the wettest summer on record!

    1. Lord Voldemortgage

      Re: Record sales of this must mean...

      There's something fishy about this.

  10. mark 63 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    fine by me

    Something was annoying me about this over hype.

    something was nagging

    couldnt put my finger on it

    never did in fact, but I've had a rethink:

    "If this book is turning the nations women into nymphos, then thats fine by me"

  11. EddieD

    They're shite.

    I've tried to read one, but I gave up after 30 pages. The prose is drivel, the characters thin, the sex boring.

    I'm all for getting folk to read, but the success of tripe like this makes me wonder about the benefits of teaching reading.

    1. Mark Allread
      Meh

      Re: They're shite.

      I agree they're shite, but I'm not surprised you found the sex boring in the first thirty pages since there isn't any in the first thirty pages...

    2. Archimedes_Circle
      Paris Hilton

      Re: They're shite.

      The reminds me of an economics study published back in the spring. It looked at the Oprah Book Club sales and found some interesting conclusions. First and foremost, significantly less books were sold because of Oprah. It turns out that those who watch Oprah read at an average level of 3rd grade, coincidentally what the craze of bodice rippers have been for the last forever or so. It also turned out that the Oprah books were significantly longer than the usual tripe and three grade levels harder (6th). So what they ended up with was longer and harder (COMPARATIVELY mind you. I agree 6th grade reading isn't exactly something worth breaking out the OED over) books that consequently meant less books were read. Worth a read,

      Paris....well because the parent's comments on boring sex and thin are fitting.

  12. Harry
    Happy

    A pallet full

    "Imagine my surprise two days later when a pallet full of Dulux turns up at my front door"

    You must have been overcome with emulsion.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Happy

      Re: A pallet full

      I was indeed but for the sake of my reputation I think it's best I gloss over it!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        A pigment of your imagination

        Jesus says repaint and thin no more if you want to avoid a brush with the law.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A pallet full

      > Imagine my surprise two days later when a pallet full of Dulux turns up at my front door

      So it was satin your driveway?

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Thumb Up

        Re: A pallet full

        It was but luckily I managed to brush the incident aside

        1. TheOtherHobbes

          Re: A pallet full

          There's a reason it's called DIY.

  13. paul 147
    Trollface

    Hmm...

    Listened to book one, three quarters through the second. First was a struggle but the second one is slightly better, a little more story to it. But I cannot really see why it has sold so much, got to be marketing. The sex is actually pretty boring and tame.!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Baby Pigeons

    There's a weird irony that — in an age where you can go onto a chat room or download an app in order to meet strangers within the hour in a lay-by for kinky random sex, every teenage girl is posting naked photos of herself taken in the mirror with a smartphone, and you're never more than six clicks away from free extreme hardcore photos and videos — what was once nothing more than the obligatory text on the readers' wives pages of Parade (which every normal person didn't give as much as a glance to) has now become something 'normal' middle class 30/40-something women are queuing up to buy in their millions.

    Where were these people hiding when their generation was dancing in fields to acid house records, getting stoned and having lots of casual sex? They're like baby pigeons — No one ever saw them when they were young, but at 40 they've all stampeded out of the shadows.

    Or have the 90s ladettes become middle aged and turned girlie, just like that young long-hared hippy on the VW Camper van with a guitar in the '70s turned into the Tony Blair we all know when he hit 40?

  15. Dave Walker
    Gimp

    Dirty Books are *Fun*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzmtYkPCQgg

    Thank you Mr. Lehrer, you were truly a man ahead of your time.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: Dirty Books are *Fun*

      Thank you for that link, sir.

  16. Anonymous John

    https://twitter.com/50shedsofgrey

    "'I'm a very naughty girl,' she said, biting her lip, 'I need to be punished.' So I invited my mother to stay for the weekend"

  17. TheOtherHobbes

    This

    is so much better. And so much more true to life. (Allegedly.)

    50 Shades of Clegg

  18. Michael Habel Silver badge
    Devil

    Hears a Youtube link for you'all come close your eyes and just imagine that its Clippy speaking

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA

  19. bmkaren
    Paris Hilton

    One thing I will never understand and always seem to forget is the reason why these books are so popular with women is that women need to make a mental and an emotional connection to be turned on, unlike a man like who can watch two women burying their faces in each other and be done with it in five minutes.

    Paris because shes an expert in these areas.

  20. auburnman
    IT Angle

    What I don't get is...

    From what I've gleaned from friends who are forcing themselves to read it (they are aware it's dreadful, but they are ploughing on in the name of science to find out exactly when, where and why it is dreadful so they can't be dismissed for not having read it) the 'fantasy' male basically treats the girl like shit. I also seem to recall from a review - which I can't find the link for atm - that the protagonist is almost sexually assaulted by one of her male friends and this is just glossed over and forgotten later in the novel.

    Women are mental.

  21. Maxson
    Facepalm

    Good Lord

    I hate to be "that guy" but....Literature is dead.

    I've not read it, I've read some of the hilarious exerpt pages that float about online and it really is like a 14 year old wrote both sides of some bad cybr sex.

  22. Graham Bartlett

    Bad writing

    I will declare a certain interest in the subject matter of these books. And go no further. Whilst it's illegal to fire someone for being black or gay, people are dismissed on the spot after being outed for being interested in BDSM, or arrested for having photos of adults engaged in safe BDSM. Think of where laws on homosexuality were in the 50s and 60s, back when Alan Turing was driven to suicide, and you're exactly where BDSM is today.

    I've no interest in reading them. Partly because I like well-written books, and when even casual readers are saying it's badly-written, I know I'll just end up slinging it in the bin out of disgust at crimes against the English language. And partly because if this is something you'd enjoy, then get the f**k out of the closet, get your hand out of your knickers, and go and actually do something about it. Fetlife, Alt.com, CollarMe, InformedConsent...

    Or if you really must go for fiction, then watch "Secretary" instead. Still somewhat stylised, but at least it's well-written and well-acted.

    All that said though, if a badly-written bit of fiction can blow the current bad laws and discrimination out of the water, then it won't be a complete loss.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm waiting for the Kindle edition...

    "256 shades of grey"

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