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  1. Cave Dweller
    Holmes

    My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

    1 + 1 =

    A. 100

    B. 2

    C. -100

    1. JetSetJim Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

      Psst, everyone. The answer is (C). Trust me, I'm a professional and I'm giving you the inside track to winning this laptop. Don't answer anything else.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

        Your mathematical ability is fantastic!!!

        Getting 1+1 to = -100

        Are you a banker or a tax accountant?

        1. Midnight

          Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

          Neither, but he does work in mainframe support for HSBC.

        2. Steve 48
          Paris Hilton

          Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

          >> Are you a banker or a tax accountant?

          No - it's clearly George Osborne...

          Paris 'cos it's Friday!

    2. Anonymous Coward 15

      Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

      That's a dodge. It's so they can call it a quiz rather than a lottery.

    3. all-four-inches
      IT Angle

      Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

      oh shi! i picked A!

    4. Ian Ferguson
      Holmes

      Boring answer

      Competitions have token easy questions so

      a) they get round gambling laws (= a game of skill, not chance, which would be naughty)

      b) more people enter (= more lovely customer data)

      c) we read the review (= better awareness of product)

      1. Alpha Tony

        Re: Boring answer

        Second boring answer:

        In addition to Ian's points a more difficult question would be pointless anyway as everyone would just google it!

    5. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

      But, but, according to my programmer's calculator the answer is 10 ???

      1. Paul_Murphy

        Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

        Well Phil, I think you need to take your calcunow out of hex mode and but it back into dec mode.

        I can see why hex mode is better though, especially for a Microsoft programmer, since B00B1E5 is a lot easier to spell out (184594917 btw).

        Keep up the good work...

        ttfn

    6. DalbyDigital

      Re: My Impersonation of these Questionnaires

      1+1=

      I like to visualise sums like this. Helps me to picture the answer. Answer? 1.

      I visualised half a grapefruit and added that to a similar half grapefruit. The total being one grapefruit. So I'll go for D. 1 (not listed).

      ;) Winning!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Might be an idea...

    to make a note in the article it's only open to UK residents.

  3. dogged

    Are you planning to disallow entries from people who always complain about 900 vertical pixels being crap?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: "The competition closes on Sunday 29th July"

    Err, according to the actual compo page itself:

    Terms and Conditions: Competition closes 31/07/2012.

    Who's right?

  5. Barry Tabrah
    WTF?

    Not sure about the processor

    Just checked the official Samsung website and apparently this puppy runs at 2.00Hz.

    1. FartingHippo
      Facepalm

      Re: Not sure about the processor

      Ooo. Lightning quick.

      I think I could do calculations on a Casio calculator watch at that speed.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Flame

      Re: Not sure about the processor

      I just had a look at the official website, it's another one where geolocation overrides common sense.

      I type in "samsung.co.uk" and it decides that as the point of presence is somewhere else (some of our proxies are more forgiving than others), it'll give me a site I can't fucking read EVEN THOUGH THE .CO.UK ADDRESS IS VALID!

      Obviously I typed in .co.uk in error 'cos I'm a complete bloody idiot who hasn't got a clue what he's doing. That's the message I got anyway.

      They just got shitlisted for being too lazy to link the "real" in-country address to "samsung.com/${isoc}" and instead just linking the lot to their automated geolocation resolver. Dickheads.

  6. Danny 5
    Thumb Up

    keeping my fingers crossed!

    easy enough to do, here's hoping you'll shoot the lappy my way :D

    1. Thomas 4
      Thumb Down

      Re: keeping my fingers crossed!

      Here's hoping you don't shoot the lappy his way.

      1. Parax
        Thumb Up

        Re: keeping my fingers crossed!

        Here's hoping you don't shoot the lappy.

  7. Andy Fletcher

    Does leaving a comment increase the chances of winning?

    If it does, I'll do it. Can't be bothered if not though.

  8. Andus McCoatover
    Unhappy

    RATS!!!

    I'm not a UK resident...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: RATS!!!

      I've always assumed that bit of small print is just a get-out to avoid the complications of running competitions where the legal situation is different?

    2. Rovindi
      Windows

      Re: RATS!!!

      Boo hiss! Me too. Would love to get my grubby mits on that puppy.

    3. joeW

      Re: RATS!!!

      Me neither. Do you have any friends or family living there though? That should do fine.

      If I win, I'll get it posted to one of my mates in Belfast and spin up on the train, make a weekend out of it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: RATS!!!

        It's because of NI competition laws that most competitions have a "No purchase necessary" clause...

        (Never understood how it worked. Do you write to the company asking to be entered into the competition? You'd surely need to buy the product to get the details / address / question?)

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: RATS!!!

          Yes, you write to the company, and they send you the form/details/magic number. Just like you can't be made to pay the £1.50 fee for a premium text message (which is a purchase), so companies which ask for competition entries by text have to accept ones by snail mail as well.

    4. Parax
      Trollface

      Re: RATS!!!

      Anyone who is not a UK resident, If you win, you can arrange to have the prize sent to my UK address...

    5. This post has been deleted by its author

    6. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      Re: RATS!!!

      I'd have loved a shot at it. My experience of Samsung kit has so far been WANT! WANT!! WANT!!!!! My Samsung Fondleslab beats the bejeezus out of me every day. (Beat me at chess yesterday, but it was no match for me at kickboxing...)

      (I'd have 'linuxed' that lovely Lappie puppy in a heartbeat, natch...)

      Hey, El. Reg - how about awarding it to a commentard (UK resident) who has the most DOWNvotes! That'd be amusing....(Still probbly me, if I lived in UK...)

  9. Scarborough Dave
    Megaphone

    Could at least have had a caption request like

    "State one good reason why you want to have this laptop?"

    Would have made a very jolly read if you then published the afore mentioned reasons!.

    1. JeevesMkII
      Happy

      Re: Could at least have had a caption request like

      Is there any other reason than "I know how to use ebay"? Most people reading el reg already have a better laptop.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Could at least have had a caption request like

        Not necessarily, some of us are married.

  10. tekgun
    Childcatcher

    I wanted to moan about nothing...but there was nothing to moan about.

    1. FartingHippo
      Boffin

      Moaning Minnie

      Why don't you moan about the lack of moaning opportunities?

      1. Aaron Em
        Thumb Up

        Re: Moaning Minnie

        He's clearly way ahead of you on that one.

  11. Aaron Em

    What the fuck is with that background image?

    1. chuBb.

      Agreed wtf indeed

    2. countd

      Part of Sammy's ad campaign apparently

      http://www.ideo.com/work/samsung-memory-brand-awareness/

      1. Aaron Em

        Re: Part of Sammy's ad campaign apparently

        Wow. Apparently ad culture dropped Beefeaters for psilocybin -- maybe I'm in the wrong field!

      2. Jacqui

        Re: Part of Sammy's ad campaign apparently

        So, the image says samsung memory should be though of as an serious RTA with casualties (ambulance) etc.

        Q to samsung marketing execs - what sort of muppet considers a FUBAR'd pickup and ambulance to be a good image? Is samsung memory as bad as their CD drives - i.e. do they consider memory bricking itself if used by anything other than windows as a "feature" ala thier CD drives? :-)

        OK, I will admit I can see some japaneese execs going for the manga characters in the foreground but IMHO they look way too "smelly homeless wierdo" to me.

        Jacqui

        p.s. I think I met the guy in the middle some 20 years ago[0[ - he was an IBM consultant, wore sandals (even in winter - he called it blue toe weather) and only drank real ale and was a CAMRA "founding member". Nice guy.

        [0[ it may have been his dad :-)

    3. Return To Sender
      Stop

      Yeeurrk...

      It's one of those marketing campaigns that remains memorable for being utterly crap. Wish somebody would invent eyeball emetics so's I could un-see it...

  12. ShelLuser
    Pint

    The one thing I don't get about this powerhouse

    Is that it runs Windows 7 Home Premium.

    Maybe this is the sysadmin in me but I'd somewhat had expected Win7 Professional to be used.

    But apart from that this looks pretty promising indeed. I'm pretty curious; this thing should be able to run multimedia software (Ableton Live 8 / Reason 6.5.1, etc.) even faster than a regular desktop. And if the internal multimedia is any good, hmmm......

    1. countd
      Trollface

      Re: The one thing I don't get about this powerhouse

      Well, it won't be running Windows Anything once I get my hands on it ;)

    2. Aaron Em

      Re: The one thing I don't get about this powerhouse

      Pro doesn't really offer any benefits over Home Premium for the laptop's intended purpose, at least not that I can see -- RDP access and ability to join a domain, sure, but how does that actually benefit anyone who might buy the laptop, rather than only those who have need of the capabilities? -- and the Pro SKU I believe costs extra, which would be reflected in the price at point of sale. (Not that driving that price up a hundred bucks further is likely to make all that much difference...) I suppose the idea must be that most will be satisfied with Home Premium, and those relatively few who need Pro or better can use Anytime Upgrade to get it.

    3. rob1n

      Re: The one thing I don't get about this powerhouse

      As Windows 7 allows you to upgrade to Pro/Ultimate online, the vast majority of laptops just come with Home Premium nowadays. There's no difference in cost to the end user, it's just a bit more work involved for you and a bit less for the supplier.

  13. Tom 35 Silver badge

    Better watch out...

    With that headline you might get sued by Monster Cable.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Holmes

      Re: Better watch out...

      I laid a monster cable in the WC this morning - bring it on bitches sue me for it! That Samsung vs Apple judge will just tell us that, although my cable was composed entirely of shit, it just wasn't as shit as your cables - no case to answer!

  14. Smudged

    I am a UK resident, but our corporate network appears behind a German proxy.

    I always get the answers to these competitions correct, often spending litterally seconds in researching the answers, but amazingly I've never won.

    Is some automated process likely to be throwing away my entries because of assuming I'm German?

    1. JeevesMkII
      Devil

      No.

      If you've got a UK address, you're golden. Your problem is that you're entering a compo with thousands of other people for one prize. The same reason you've never won the lottery either.

      1. P. Lee Silver badge

        Re: No.

        that's what Perl and catch-all email forwarding are for... :-P

  15. brain_flakes
    Headmaster

    Hey Reg, what's a laptopis? :)

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Presumably it's what you use for laptopiary.

      Somthing like a Brazilian wax?

  16. Dixie Nourmous
    Alert

    Intrigued

    So how is the winner chosen ? Hand in a hat, dartboard, tombola machine ??

    1. Dixie Nourmous

      Re: Intrigued

      How about we all put potatoes in,or my fav - racing car number 9...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Trollface

        Re: Intrigued

        Was that you in the car park the other day in car number 9?

        Selling 'Samsung laptops' that turned out to be potatoes in laptop bags?

        1. Dixie Nourmous

          Re: Intrigued

          No not me M`Lud, If anyone says it was, they can expect a visit from Doug and Dinsdale (Pirahna) who will nail their heads to the floor...

  17. Alan Brown Silver badge

    Lottery tickets

    Everyone buys what they think is the winning ticket.

    The trick is to buy what you think is the losing ticket.

  18. Dan Paul
    Devil

    I'm not a UK resident but I'm entering anyway. Screw the Terms and Conditions

    Since you obviously accept posts and advertising from people worldwide, your contest must be open to all as well.

    I'll be glad to pay any shipping/customs costs.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    A 17" laptop with a 900 pixel display is a paper weight.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Aha! The first to fall foul of dogged's eminently sensible rule for disqualification.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Done...

    I already have the previous build of the 711, but I entered anyway; this really is a beast of a lappy, makes my work desk-top machine feel like a Complete Steamer!

  21. Arthur 1

    A little love..

    for us North American schlubs would go a long way...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    why would I need a computer if I cannot change the refresh rate to more than 60 Hz and the video connector cannot be secured...?

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      WTF?

      I dunno. Why would I need a horse, if I couldn't fit it with three extra legs and teach it the cha-cha-cha?

  23. Owen Sweeney
    Thumb Down

    D'uh

    Well, fcukity, fcuk, fcuk.

    Confined to UK again. Last time I wona prize here as a non-UK resident was when I won a Duron 12 years ago.

    Looks like I'm losing again.

    Bollix.

  24. John PM Chappell
    FAIL

    Beast, really?

    It's got a 2 GHz current gen i-7, so nothing special there, 6 GiB of DDR3 is admittedly a lot of RAM (though probably not that useful, in truth) and 900 pixels for the height is indeed FAIL on the screen (that's why people keep saying so) of a "17 inch" format laptop. Even the graphics is pretty mediocre, really, for the term 'beast'. Not to be a git about this but I'm typing from an M18X with 2x HD 6990M in Crossfire and a considerably faster i-7 and I'm still not close to the 'maxed' builds possible for the line. These machines and their competitors are "Beasts of a laptop" not this nice executive toy.

    Needless to say, I entered anyway :-P

  25. sisk Silver badge
    Unhappy

    UK residents only? Boo!

    Ah well. I never win things like this anyway.

  26. David 14
    Unhappy

    Crud... UK Residents only! :(

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