back to article Wi-Fi warping wallpaper hardens homes to hackers

Tinfoil hat wearer? Here's what to slap on your walls: wallpaper that keeps Wi-Fi signals boxed in - and, maybe, alien brain-probe waves out. As you know, setting up a solid Wi-Fi password is never enough: Illuminati aliens can bypass such menial protection techniques. With this Wi-Fi blocking wallpaper, though, hacking into …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Dave 126 Silver badge

    >No protection from Thargoid brain-probe beams, mind

    You don't know that.

    1. Jediben

      But the Thargoids do!

      1. TeeCee Gold badge

        ....and they're not telling!

    2. DrXym Silver badge

      The Thargoids are only a problem when your drive fails during a hyperspace jump.

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        And if I remember correctly you could force the Speccy and CPC versions to do that with a key press. Shift+F springs to mind for some reason.

      2. adam payne Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Military Lasers warmed up and ready to go.

    3. phuzz Silver badge
      Terminator

      I read that as 'Thatcherite Mind Beams'.

      Even scarier non?

  2. Kevin Johnston

    Windows?

    Anyone know the metallic content/spectrum blocking potential of the film that nice young gentlemen use on their car windows so they don't frighten passers-by? Failing that how about the metallised foil wrapping paper, that tends to pass some light through.

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Windows?

      One of our offices has Pilkington K glass, which we didn't know blocks UK mobile signals quite nicely until after it was installed! Annoyingly, it was cheaper than the only slightly more effective specialist material we used to for the screen room in the same building.

      1. Fuzz

        Re: Windows?

        All new windows are K glass or an equivalent I doubt very much it is causing your mobile reception problem.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Windows?

          He's right - Pilkington flog this as a feature, they do extra coatings for EM Shielding..

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Illuminati aliens can bypass such menial protection techniques

    but boy are they screwed with fancy tin foil.

  4. David Gosnell

    Purpose

    Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but I'd imagine the purpose of this is more for avoiding interference (and therefore maximising bandwidth) in increasingly crowded electromagnetic airspace.

  5. Pete 2

    Doesn't come in "pork" flavour

    > previous "stealth wallpapers" developed for the defence sector cost roughly £500 per square metre, the researchers reckon rolls of this new decor will be reasonably priced,

    It's probably exactly the same stuff, made in the same way by the same people. The only difference is this is closer to the true price, without the added "overheads" of dealing with a government department that has an infinite supply of money at its disposal that it's determined to (over)spend.

  6. stucs201

    Do they do a non-blocking paper in the same pattern?

    If not its going to be a problem to have consistent decor in a room without also blocking the signals between rooms - surely you'd only want this on external walls and not internal ones.

  7. Miek
    Linux

    It must have been the part of me that is into tinfoil headgear that was glad to see the following statement :

    "As long as you cover your windows up too, that is."

    phew

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      OH NOES! MY DOR IS SEKKURITY RISK YES?

      1. Miek
        Facepalm

        Panic! Panic!

  8. Jmz
    Pint

    Missing the point

    I might buy some of this for my neighbours who have channel hopping Sky/BT routers. Then I might actually get a decent wifi signal in my house.

  9. arreg

    For avoidance of espionage/paranoia, wouldn't it be cheaper to abandon wi-fi & just run cable throughout your house? There must be a point where this is the cheaper option.

    1. Lallabalalla

      There must be a point where this is the cheaper option

      It would also give you a much faster network.

  10. jai

    so

    not so much good for surfing the web while sitting out in the garden then...

  11. Kubla Cant Silver badge
    WTF?

    Why?

    This will restrict you to using your computer in the same room as the WiFi access point. Would it not be simpler to unplug the network cable from the access point and plug it into your computer?

    1. Miek
      Coat

      Re: Why?

      " Would it not be simpler to unplug the network cable from the access point and plug it into your computer?" -- What? and leave yourself with no internet connection?

      1. Kubla Cant Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Why?

        "and leave yourself with no internet connection?"

        By "network cable" I mean the Ethernet cable that connects the wireless access point to the LAN.

        If your wireless access point is also your router/DSL modem, then you will have to get another patch cable to connect your computer to the router.

        If you have a combined wireless/modem/router that has no Ethernet ports, then you have made an unlucky purchasing decision and you will have to redecorate with the attractive tin wallpaper featured in the article.

        1. Miek
          Linux

          Re: Why?

          Tell me something I don't know. Clearly the humour is lost on you.

  12. Doug Glass
    Go

    Insulation

    All the insulation in my house has a foil covered side as does the outer foam board that's just under the siding. I specified both over twenty years ago when our house was being constructed. Don't you Britishers have these?

    1. stucs201

      Re: Insulation

      Maybe on some types of construction, but most British houses are built from an outer wall of brick and an inner one of concrete blocks. Insulation consists of injecting foam or rockwool between the inner and outer skin - not very easy to add a foil layer to that.

      (Timber frame is getting more common, but there's a lot of masonry houses around).

      1. Fuzz

        Re: Insulation

        On modern builds the insulation comes attached to the breeze blocks and has the foil layer included.

        1. Some Beggar

          Re: Insulation

          How does that work? Does the insulation extend past the block to overlap the mortar gap?

    2. mark 63 Silver badge

      Re: Insulation

      nah we just use bricks and a bit of wool in the attic

      is yours wooden?

    3. SYNTAX__ERROR
      Boffin

      Re: Insulation

      Well actually there are quite a few newer houses that use foil-backed plasterboard on the interior walls. I don't know the real reason why they make that stuff but it can cause havoc when you WANT to get a WIFi signal throughout your house.

      The exterior walls though: we make those out of slightly more permanent materials like bricks.

      1. Some Beggar
        Headmaster

        Re: Insulation

        slightly more permanent materials like bricks

        I used to live in a five hundred year old house that was built mostly from wood, straw and mud. It seemed pretty permanent to me. We used bricks because we ran out of wood. We use concrete because it's quicker and cheaper. I'm not sure permanence has much to do with it.

        Apologies for flying off at a tangent but since the original article is an obvious hoax I thought building techniques might be more interesting. So ... ummm ... what's your favourite recipe for lime render?

        1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Re: Insulation

          1:2:4 mix by weight of Shillingstone lime putty, horse hair and sharp sand, with about half a bucket of water per mix. Don't forget to wash down the brickwork first and apply the render whilst the wall is still damp, though, or the render won't stick.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is overkill

    Just put your router in a tin box

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can

    it be installed in all cinemas please

  15. Shane8
    WTF?

    IMO

    IMO just enable MAC Filtering... ?

    1. Mark Allen
      FAIL

      Re: IMO

      Trouble is, MAC addresses are easy to sniff and spoof if someone is determined to get in. Much safer to get to know your neighbours and then judge their technical abilities.

  16. regadpellagru
    WTF?

    from the WTF department

    "It could make you look a little daft that way, but if you're fitting the walls of your home with Wi-Fi blocking wallpaper, how ridiculous you appear to your fellow peer(s) is probably the least of your worries. ®"

    LOL. Exactly that. I vote this for the most pointless product of the year.

    As said above, paranoid people are fine, they just need to use optical fibers only. Really tricky to get the signal if not inside your home. Great security. Oh, yes, and they need to read the interweb to know how to disable WIFI on the box/router, which apparently didn't come to the poor minds of the manufacturer of this wallpaper.

    Only marginal use of this would be exams rooms or similar places where mobile phones or WIFI are/should be prohibited, but this is a niche market. And that's apparently not the selling point they're betting on ...

  17. DrXym Silver badge

    I knew it

    People called me mad to stockpile all that zx printer paper, but I'll clean up selling it to paranoid people.

    1. Some Beggar

      Re: I knew it

      I just got a nasal flashback.

    2. Stuart Halliday
      Thumb Up

      Re: I knew it

      Go to any Stationery shop, buy till receipt paper. I believe that is covered with Iron Oxide. :)

  18. Some Beggar
    WTF?

    I can't tell from the tone of the article

    whether the Reg authors understand that this is bunkum or not.

    Please tell me you realise that this is bunkum.

    kthxbye

  19. heyrick Silver badge
    WTF?

    What!?!

    My little regional newspaper (Ouest-France) reported this last week.

  20. Senior Ugli
    Devil

    imagine the profit they could make if the sun/mail one day had the headline:

    Cyber Alien terrorists have the ability to hack your wifi and steal your facebook password/force porn into your childs brain - rush to protect your walls now

  21. LinkOfHyrule

    I had the misfortune to redecorate a 1970s vintage flat and it had this exact wallpaper slapped all over the living room already! I'm calling BS on this - it's clearly just old stock from the bad old days of beige and wood-grain re-branded for the iTwat generation!

  22. Atonnis

    Wrong Way Around!!

    This would actually have a use if it kept wifi signals and wiped out GSM/GPRS/3G/4G/etc. You could put it up in cinemas and schools...

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019