back to article Swedish men ordered to present cervices in database flub

A database screw-up saw 2,056 Swedish men ordered to report to their gynecologists and midwives for smear tests. Health officials in Stockholm County and the island of Gotland are mailing the men to tell them to disregard the missive, The Local reports. Meanwhile midwives are "briefed and ready' on how to deal with any …

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  1. Christoph Silver badge
    Joke

    Who was in the list?

    Was Mike Hunt included?

    1. Bill Neal
      Joke

      Re: Who was in the list?

      Yeah, along with Ben Dover & Oliver Klozov. I hope they don't forget to take off their pants (trousers for you brits) & jacket.

  2. Number6

    "Ordered"?

    Is that journalistic licence or has Sweden turned into a state where people can be forced to have medical check-ups? They've already gone dodgy on education,so I'm quite prepared to believe it's the case.

    1. Bill Neal
      Unhappy

      Re: "Ordered"?

      can't be any worse than what the TSA does at most US airports

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Exact same thing happened to me many years ago in the UK (NHS). I didn't get a letter of apology, all I got was the receptionist telling me that she would pass on to the nurse that I am male.

    General consensus amongst people I tell is that I should have shown up. Given how reluctant the NHS is to see you these days I think they have a point. You need to take every opportunity you can get.

  4. Antony King
    Coffee/keyboard

    I know know that my fondleslab is resistant to coffee /and/ snot. not sure my sinuses are going to recover any time soon though... (and why did autocorrect come up with 'fondleslap'!)

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Paris Hilton

      That's the good thing about Apple products - yes they get a lot of stick, some of it quite rightly, but I have to hand it to them on their ability to resist bodily fluids! Steve Jobs absolutely insisted upon all Apple gear being wipe clean - I have no idea why!

      1. Swarthy Silver badge

        @LinkOfHyrule

        I think a clue may be in the autocorrect - "Fondleslap" indeed.

  5. Jan 0
    Joke

    Full marks to the author

    for using the correct plural, but don't forget that other cervices are available.

    A man may not have a 'cervix uteri', but he may have a lot of neck!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Full marks to the author

      I assumed it was a typo for crevices, LOL

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And this is why managed cervices are usually a waste of money.

    1. Captain Save-a-ho
      Coat

      Pun aside, I personally preferred managed cervix. If I have to spend my dollars on a cervix, I preferred the managed kind to the married kind.

    2. Brezhnev's Shadow
      Pint

      Cradle me gravedigger arr!

      Cervices free at the point of delivery.

      Someone should turn up as an Amish-style Gotland "farmer" and "demand satisfaction" for his tax money, just for laughs, or a bet, the pain might be worth it if he can sit down and get some beers after ;) Nurse, Mr Juntti is here for his appointment-his family are originally from Finland so he wont understand you very much, sorry dear! Check your "what?"

      1. Brezhnev's Shadow

        Re: Cradle me gravedigger arr!

        Tax dolla- hole! *points* Nggg nggg! Swigs wistfully out of antique pewter hipflash then does a quick stylish country-dance-jig round the examination couch to invisible music. Grins at nurse and waits patiently bent over.

  7. llewton

    they have nipples. fair mistake.

    1. Steve Renouf
      Joke

      Huh?

      Cervices have nipples?!?

  8. Robert E A Harvey
    Coat

    Oh well

    At least it can't be described as a cock-up.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not...

    Solve two health problems at once, with Scandinavian pragmatism, so when the men show up just give them all a quick prostate check instead?

  10. Herby Silver badge

    Of course it sounds like a government...

    Having a wait of 9 months for pre-natal care. Then it would send out the notice to the father.

    Situation normal.....

  11. Decius

    by gender?

    Surely they should sort by sex and then exclude the males, rather than including trans women but excluding trans men.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: by gender?

      No, you need to do it by gender. The only answers you get in the SEX column are

      "Yes Please", "Often", and "No, We're British"

  12. jubtastic1
    Facepalm

    FFS

    They say 'database' but they mean 'excel spreadsheet'

  13. Rambler88
    Joke

    It's not a bug, it's a feature.

    Wait until "Health officials in Stockholm County and the island of Gotland" are informed that no, it's not a mistake--it's the next step toward gender neutrality.

  14. PeterM42
    FAIL

    "It may just have been the human factor"

    Yeah - it is often "human factors" which bring down aeroplanes where they are not supposed to land. Thankfully, this "human factor" error was somewhat less distressing.

  15. Peter Simpson 1
    Thumb Up

    Our Motor Vehicle Dept changed my gender

    I went to renew my driver's license. When I got home, I noticed that they'd changed me to an "F". Mustache and all. It's one of those data fields you wouldn't think would be changeable...but you'd be wrong. When I next renewed the license, I said nothing, to see if the would notice. Nope.

    The third time, I mentioned it. I was a bit nervous that I might (as advised in the renewal notice) be required to show proof before they would make the change. Thankfully for all concerned, that wasn't required.

    I should mention, that I had several encounters with the police during the years I was driving with an "F" license (during at least one of these encounters, the license was "run" through the computer). Nothing was said about it, and I didn't get ticketed, either!

    Still have the license in a drawer somewhere...

    1. mathew42
      Facepalm

      Re: Our Motor Vehicle Dept changed my gender

      > Nothing was said about it, and I didn't get ticketed, either!

      On the assumption that on a least one of the encounters that you might have been liable for a ticket, then I think it was unwise to change on the basis that the police might have been using "positive discrimination".

  16. Shocked Jock
    Stop

    @AC

    Bad idea to adapt it for men: more prostate tests -> more deaths and maimings, while fewer prostate tests -> a healthier male population.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    "...their turn in the stirrups."

    That made me larf.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It occurs to me that

    They could use this to get the screening rates for colon, bowel and prostate cancer up.

    Just send the men to the "other" room with an apology and "well it needed to be done anyway, saves calling you back later"...

    Oh, and apparently the screening procedure for prostate is a 5 minute procedure, ffs don't die of embarassment peoples.

    AC/DC

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