back to article From the Department of WTF: New USB tampon flash drive

There's not much to say about this one. It's a flash drive... and it looks like a tampon. Presumably the idea is that it will be ignored if a thief rifles through your backpack, handbag or briefcase. USB tampon Tampon-shaped USB stick The company flogging it has a taste for the bad pun... so prepare for the worst if you …

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  1. Cave Dweller
    Trollface

    Alternative Presumption

    Men keep a lot of stuff in there pockets, but women often don't often have as many pockets. This solution allows them to repurpose "nature's pocket".

    It's like a kangaroo pouch?

  2. EddieD

    Suppository

    For maximum security, stick it where the sun don't shine...

    1. dssf

      Re: Suppository

      Yeh, until some vandal or pocket thief violently SNATCHES the string while yelling "WHAT'S *THIS*????"

      Male or female, one'll probably feel as is deranged by a black hole or super cosmic filament... initiating a cosmic vacuum or subspace inver-plosion...

      Even Star Trek technobabble probably couldn't come up with a term for that one...

  3. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge
    Coat

    Could be considered an appropriate gift....

    for a stuck up ****.

    moderation in 3....2...1...

    1. zen1
      Pint

      Re: Could be considered an appropriate gift....

      <insert thunderous applause here>

  4. Mycho Silver badge

    Alternatively...

    How to get a USB drive past security.

    1. Ken 16 Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Alternatively...

      "it will be ignored if a thief rifles through your backpack, handbag or briefcase"

      I'd have thought having some electronics so heavily disguised would draw the attention of all the airport security people and probably get your data scanned for illegal content.

      1. Mycho Silver badge

        Re: Alternatively...

        Obviously, you wouldn't want this to go through an electronic scanner for that reason. A pat-down at your workplace would be more what it was designed to get past. Were you female anyway. A man carrying one of these would be a bit obvious.

  5. TRT Silver badge

    Remember Rik's party in The Young Ones?

    I hope it's waterproof.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Happy

      Re: Remember Rik's party in The Young Ones?

      It's a mouse!

    2. Rob 5
      Thumb Up

      Re: Remember Rik's party in The Young Ones?

      Sadly, I do.

      1. Scorchio!!

        Re: Remember Rik's party in The Young Ones?

        I watched it on You Tube. How times have changed.

  6. Anonymous John

    If they were meant to deter thieves, they wouldn't be white.

    1. Steven Roper
      Thumb Up

      And you think

      that the kind of perv who would steal a tampon would prefer one that is white as opposed to, erm, "used"?

    2. Mephistro Silver badge
      Joke

      @ Anonymous John

      You're totally right! If a thief finds that the woman he's robbing keeps used tampons in her handbag, he'll probably consider her another victim of society and give her things back. Either that or GTFO screaming :)

      Even if the thief is one of those 'tampon connoisseurs' that have been named in recent comments in this thread, chances are that the device will never see a USB port again.

      It's a win-win.

      It's clear that these tampons should be made mandatory for any company employee or civil servant that wants to move around citizen's unencrypted private data in a thumbdrive.

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Thumb Up

        Re: @ Anonymous John

        Mephistro, your post just made me piss myself laughing! Damn I need something absorbent if you're guna make me laugh that much!

  7. bluesxman
    Coat

    Pricing

    $29.90 ... for 2GB, presumably?

    At those prices they can stick 'em up their arse instead.

    I'm going...

  8. kissingthecarpet
    Thumb Up

    Perhaps more useful without the flash drive

    It could be used like those fake cans that are containers for stashing things.

    I'm sure most cops are the sort that are phobic about "women's things", they'd not even want to touch it, especially of the makers supplied a sachet of something to smear on it.

    A result for female drug users ;-)

    1. JDX Gold badge

      especially of the makers supplied a sachet of something to smear on it

      Because women frequently carry used tampons around with them, just as men carry around used loo-roll?

      1. John Bailey
        Devil

        Re: especially of the makers supplied a sachet of something to smear on it

        Remember where you are. Quite a few here have little first hand knowledge of such things.

        1. C-N
          Devil

          Re: having little first hand knowledge of such things.

          Thank heavens!

      2. Mephistro Silver badge

        Re: especially of the makers supplied a sachet of something to smear on it

        "just as men carry around used loo-roll?"

        I tell you, this 'recycling' thing is going too far!

  9. ukgnome Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    WTF

    Just WTF

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    backpack, handbag or briefcase.

    I never heard it called any of those names before.

    "Presumably the idea is that it will be ignored if a thief rifles through your backpack, handbag or briefcase. "

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: backpack, handbag or briefcase.

      "Somebody's gonna put his sausage in your handbag on the backseat of his car"

      Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars, c1980-something

  11. tkioz
    WTF?

    Okay so it only LOOKS like a tampon... because I was getting some very bad visuals from the article heading...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If it bleeds we can kill it

  13. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    This puts a whole new spin on..

    .. coughing up data..

    Yes, I know it's lunchtime :).

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Um...

    It's the thought of your GF asking if She can borrow it...

  15. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Somehow

    I do not think this will make a good mother's day gift

    1. C-N
      Thumb Up

      Re: Somehow

      The force is strong with this one.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obviously designed by a bloke! You live with a woman long enough you know what they look like, feel like and what they weigh. Surely this thing is all hard and plasticy, not light and all cotton-wooly like the real thing? Any bozo who's ever handled the things knows what they look and feel like is not going to be fooled for a second!

    1. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge
      Coat

      Don't care...

      ..so long as they get the taste right.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: Don't care...@Omgwtfbbqtime

        OMGWTF?!?!

  17. b166er
    Coat

    spelling mistake

    Did you mean 'flush drive'?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: spelling mistake

      'Thrush Drive'

      Bloody marvellous invention.

      1. mgtrock
        Coat

        Re: spelling mistake

        Shirely you mean..... Gash Drive?

        ok, ok, i'm leaving....

  18. hi_robb
    Facepalm

    some extra info on this

    Prices were cheaper last week but they've since stuck them up..

    It's not very robust apparently as it's only designed to used on average once a month..

    /gets coat

  19. Qdos
    Megaphone

    Jammy dodger

    It's bloody ridiculous. Period.

  20. AnonymousLee

    Flash, but no Camera?

    Plus who ever only carries one of these things.

    "I was a data mule for Wiki...um...leaks"

    1. zen1
      Pint

      Re: Flash, but no Camera?

      That will be in the v2 product, which will be conveniently shaped like a large phalic "massager"

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For us guys...

    For us guys, how about a USB drive that looks like a Fleshlight?

  22. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Facepalm

    My wife (and all my other female friends) thank you. For giving the TSA an excuse to go poking around, looking for things in places that would have otherwise been left alone.

    You don't think the criminal element doesn't already know about and make use of this (and other) orifices? Now they've got an excuse to go probing the general public.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    general what?

    "Now they've got an excuse to go probing the general public."

    is that a typo? :-)

    PS. Imagine seeing 2nd-hand ones for sale on e-bay - any takers?

    1. alien anthropologist
      Coat

      Re: general what?

      > PS. Imagine seeing 2nd-hand ones for sale on e-bay - any takers?

      That depends on where the USB ..er "device", was inserted to?

      I can already see a vending machine opportunity for used USB devices in Japan...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Use case?

    What is the use case for this?

    If you want to hide data, carry a standard micro-SD to USB adapter, with a card in it full of innocuous data.

    Place microSD with interesting stuff under a fake fingernail.

  25. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Go

    A brilliant idea......

    Except that this is built to encourage (data) leakage.....

  26. This post has been deleted by its author

  27. Spotswood
    Joke

    So....

    What's the upload speed?

  28. This post has been deleted by its author

  29. TRT Silver badge

    I'm just glad...

    that the BBC have stopped making Spooks. I mean, one of those tasty, tasty MI6 lady agents sneaking a data stripping virus into a hostile embassy party dressed as a maid or a stripper...this could have given them ideas.

  30. Crisp Silver badge
    Go

    There should be a Department of WTF

    I'm going to make that happen.

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