back to article Microsoft to bake Windows 8 in three flavours

Microsoft has announced that Windows 8 will come in three versions. A post on the Windows Team Blog says “For PCs and tablets powered by x86 processors (both 32 and 64 bit), we will have two editions: Windows 8 and Windows 8 Pro.” So far so mundane. But the post goes on to let us all know that there's a third version, …

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  1. Combat Wombat
    Thumb Down

    3 versions...

    None of which I will be using.

    having seen the interface, WIndows 8 will be an abortion.

    1. henrydddd

      Re: 3 versions...

      IF Windows RT doesn't work out, they could rename it to windows RG (real good)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 3 versions...

        ...or Redmond Trash?

        1. Miek
          Linux

          Re: 3 versions...

          Real-Time ? Perhaps tasks are performed in real-time when asked for.

          1. Wensleydale Cheese

            It's Run Time

            As in the referenced blog article at

            http://windowsteamblog.com/windows/b/bloggingwindows/archive/2012/04/16/announcing-the-windows-8-editions.aspx

            "For new apps, the focus for Windows RT is development on the new Windows runtime, or WinRT, which we unveiled in September and forms the foundation of a new generation of cloud-enabled, touch-enabled, web-connected apps of all kinds. "

            1. Steve Coffman
              Thumb Down

              Re: It's Run Time

              I guess the author was too busy even to bother to look up the definition from previous articles on El Reg : http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/02/13/woa_office_15_ie10_clearer/page2.html

        2. henrydddd
          Unhappy

          Re: 3 versions...

          Just in case you haven't seen it, do a Google search on windows rg and check it out.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 3 versions...

      All I'm interested in is "which existing functionality will they cease to support this time?"

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 3 versions...

      > having seen the interface, Windows 8 will be an abortion.

      Having used the interface I can confirm it is indeed an abortion.

      It's full of creative, unusual and above all really fucking stupid ideas. Solitaire now has a banner inviting you to log into your xbox live account.

      Think about that for a moment; multi-player features in solitaire.....

      1. JC_
        Thumb Down

        Re: Solitaire

        Thought about it a second and came up with a points table that results could be posted to, similar to the Sudoko game on WP7. Of course, you didn't actually want thinking, just applause for calling it an "abortion"...

      2. lumpaywk

        Re: 3 versions...

        Its because you not logged in if you do it goes away. Live is not just multiplayer gameing there is so so much more to it like gamerscores avatar customisation chat etc and personally i dont get how that is a stupid idea esp as live is one of MS big success stories.

        The interface also rocks but you dont like it then the desktop is still there. Taste is a personal thing so i wont say your wrong but personally i love it and i know many people that feel the same. Plus its so much faster already and thats on a beta! It seems people like you hate advancement im sure you would be much happier useing dos.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 3 versions...

          That's a good list of things which are of absolutely zero consequence or interest in the enterprise

  2. Kev K
    Devil

    Windows 8 will be the new Windows ME/Vista everyone knows you jump an edition.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      yep

      who ever knew that windows would be the star trek movies of software.

      1. Greg J Preece

        Re: yep

        "who ever knew that windows would be the star trek movies of software."

        Only in this case, it's all the odd numbered ones that are any good.

        1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
          Headmaster

          Re: yep

          Only in this case, it's all the odd numbered ones that are any good.

          So is "vista" a odd or an even number?

    2. JDX Gold badge

      On the PC maybe (or probably), on the tablet it could be pretty good.

      I'm impressed they are apparently including Office on RT, but isn't that going to annoy the ones who thought even bundling a browser was too far?

    3. Atonnis
      Thumb Down

      Hmm...

      Going from Windows 3.11 - Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, Windows Me, Windows 2000, Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7...

      So...if I skipped 95 I'd have ended up with 98, then Me, then XP, then 7

      ....if I was on 95, I'd skip 98, end up with 98SE, then 2000, then Vista...

      ....either way I'd have ended up with the fucking awful Me or Vista...so that theory - once again - is shown to be bollocks.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm...

        Don't Me and 2000 occupy parallel positions on the home and business paths?

        so 98SE- Me - XP- Vista - 7

        or

        98SE (NT4 if you're a proper business) - 2000 - XP (Pro) - Vista - 7

      2. TeeCee Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Hmm...

        Ah yes, but you're considering 98SE as a seperate release rather than the 98 SP1 it actually was. Worth having, but not worth spending release money on to move to it from 98.

        2k was on the NT track, not the consumer desktop track which limped off into ME land. While it made a great office desktop, it wasn't for general use as it lacked the back-compatibility with the consumer stream which materialised in XP.

        So that's 3.11 --> 98 and/or SE --> XP --> 7. In meerkat terms, simples and the future is thus 9-shaped.

        As for starting from 95, well that puts you firmly at the start of the "dog" track, giving you ME and Vista to look forward to and quite rightly so IMHO.

        1. Irongut

          Re: Hmm...

          "While it made a great office desktop, it wasn't for general use as it lacked the back-compatibility with the consumer stream which materialised in XP"

          That was so much bull.

          I ran Win2k on my home machine for about 10 years before finally deciding Win7 was worth an upgrade. I never had any problems with hardware compatibility and during that time I went through at least 3 motherboards, 2 processors, several video cards and I don't know how many printers. Also I didn't have problems with any games working on it until the last couple of years when new titles became XP/Vista only. I used XP at work because it was the corporate standard but at no time did I feel the need to move my home machine to the Fischer Price OS.

          So what were the consumer issues with Win2k?

          1. John 62

            Re: Hmm...

            The best thing about Windows XP? It had a better Windows 2000 theme than Windows 2000 :)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    "non fischer price baby interface for desktops?"

    ill take the playmobil version.

  4. Wombling_Free
    FAIL

    Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

    I don't see that listed.

    A shame, because Win 8 runs better than 7, snappy, boots fast, just has the UI From Hell, that makes Ubuntu's interface look sane - something I thought was impossible. Bloody hell even iOS would be better.

    Also - x86 (32 and 64 versions) - I though x86 IS 32bit (confusingly illogical) and x64 IS 64bit (confusingly logical).

    1. Richard 81

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      It would have made sense on Windows 8 Pro. That's the one businesses would be getting if it wasn't going to be a clanger.

    2. Maris
      Windows

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      Regarding the UI, there's Classic Shell, and it has Start menu. It shouldn't be necessary to install a third party application to make an OS usable, of course, but all is not as bad as it looks at first.

    3. dotslash

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X86

    4. Robert Forsyth

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      Don't the pre-releases run fast, but slow down when some of the missing features and bugs are fixed?

      1. dogged
        Boffin

        Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

        Usually pre-releases run slower than release code since they contai9n large amounts of debug code.

        Whether or not this is the case in the Win8 CP, I can't say for sure but it seems likely.

    5. Piro

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      There are various addons to do this already, and a built in toggle is predictable:- Metro does not work below 1024x768. So yep, pull out a 1024x600 netbook, and on a machine with a tiny screen which would be ideal for Metro, you get no Metro, only the desktop.

      I very, very much doubt it will be an exposed option, though.

    6. lumpaywk
      Mushroom

      Re: Ability to turn Start Screen OFF?

      No the x86 refures to the familly of processor not the bit count. It comes from the 8086 processor that came to be 286, 386 486 pentium etc. The first one ie 8086 was only 16bit. They just keep it for 32bit as people already recognise it as for that family of prosessor but they had to seporate then the 64 from the 32bit and then it got messy.

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like a bid to be relevant in the modern world

    What's the betting you can't opt out of Windows Store and having a Microsoft Account at install?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Looks like a bid to be relevant in the modern world

      Low because that wouldn't fly in the business world at all. Even Apple don't force you to have an Apple ID when you install MacOSX.

      1. Chika
        Facepalm

        Re: Looks like a bid to be relevant in the modern world

        Don't say that!!! You'll give them IDEAS!!!

  7. Mikel
    Windows

    Be still my heart

    It's so exciting.

  8. Winkypop Silver badge
    Windows

    w00T

    I'll be even further behind soon.

    Still quite happy with the previous eXPerience.

  9. dshan
    WTF?

    Recycled Technology?

    "Windows RT: Windows Recycled Technology (with Genuine Metro (tm)) takes the best features of Microsoft's over-hyped, under performing Windows Phone 7 operating system (little tiley things all over your screen and a touch screen/keyboard/mouse mashup UI) and combines them with the worst-in-class marketing Microsoft are famous for as well as some random bits from Microsoft's previous desktop operating system (no, not Vista, the other one) to give users who are too stupid to buy an iPad something to play with."

    1. Atonnis
      Devil

      Re: Recycled Technology?

      Windows Phone is excellent...and iOS is absolutely shit for any real productivity....

      1. Giles Jones Gold badge

        Re: Recycled Technology?

        Please quantify, you can connect a Bluetooth keyboard to iOS and run stuffy office apps if you really want to (yawn).

        There's tons of tools for musicians. That is "productive" surely?

  10. Christian Berger Silver badge

    Of course the version you'll want to get...

    ...will be called "Windows Server 2013" or something and be amazingly expensive.

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Richard Jones 1

    Windows RD

    I like the speed of Windows 8 even on a low specification ten year out of date PC, I hate the silly nursery screen on start up but found out yesterday that some of the crap can be deleted. What are all the blobby thing there for other than to massage someone's misguided ego.

    If I wanted to do many of those things I would NOT be sat at a desktop PC!

    It makes no sense since clicking on any of the play blobs fill the screen blocking out everything else. Best go straight to desk top but how to find useful applications? Ah short cuts to clutter up the desktop.

    So we now have Windows RD (Really Dumb) featuring a core that looked to be going the right way, but stuffed like a Christmas Turkey with all the stuff you neither want nor need.

    Perhaps Windows Turkey edition might be a better name.

    Richard

  13. deeztech
    WTF?

    media center?

    As a user of media center I don't see that mentioned anywhere. Did I miss it or is MS abandoning the best UI they ever made?

    1. Richard 81

      Re: media center?

      I don't care for the UI much, which is pretty bloody sloppy in my opinion. The functionality is essential though.

      Wasn't Media Center only on the Premium, Ultimate, or some other more expensive version than Basic?

    2. TechnicalBen Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: media center?

      Yes. AFAIK Media Centre took the bullet when Metcow came out.

    3. AGuyInEngland

      Re: media center?

      It's mentioned in the main Microsoft article as an "economical add in for Windows 8 Pro" or something like that.

  14. Lunatik
    FAIL

    Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

    Still no Remote Desktop server on the "home" version?

    Hint: If you want your product to be used in media centre-type devices then people need a way to manage the bloody things remotely. Fannying around with a keyboard/pointing device in a living room, even wireless, with a bloody great big screen 10ft away is no fun at all.

    Sigh.

    Still, at least there's not seventy gazillion versions this time.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

      You're not supposed to run a media centre by remote-desktopping into it. That's the whole point of DLNA, etc.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

        He's not describing using it using remote desktop - it's the tedious updates and other management and configuration changes that are periodically required that you need a keyboard and mouse for.

        1. JDX Gold badge

          Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

          It's still not a normal use case. Even for someone running a media PC, RDP is a bit technical - hence it makes the pro version.

          1. Lunatik

            Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

            Having used (suffered?) a Windows Media device as my only living room source for over five years now, I'd actually counter that by saying that familiarity with RDP is probably the minimum level of technical knowledge you should expect to have before considering one.

            When it works it is is brilliant - great UI, easy access to just about anything (TV, photos, web, music, downloads, streaming), limitless integration with home network & hi-fi (no walled gardens, no pratical restriction on content/outputs/inputs/storage), and all controllable from one remote.

            But when it throws a wobbler...pain, my friends, pain. So many undocumented fiddles, so many hours hunting updates/hacks, so many restores!

            Having said that, I've gotten so used to the functionality that I now find most other setups so compromised that I'm willing to stick with it for now.

            My wife isn't so convinced though ("Why's this bloody thing now working now?!"), and this is the reason I would never recommend one to anyone who doesn't know their IP address from their elbow.

    2. Mr. Nobby
      FAIL

      Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

      So install a VNC variant like you would if you had a linux based media box.

      1. Lunatik

        Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

        OK, but at a petty level having to install a VNC server & clients is just another thing to make the experience less than complete. These things are meant to be leaning towards being a consumer product!

        Plus, Microsoft do their damnedest to prevent VNC working out of the box, meaning you often have to configure firewalls and/or piss about in the registry just to get it working properly. Again, not very "it just works", is it?

        The annoying thing is that the we know functionality is *there* (and can be switched on via a presumably EULA-busting hack), it's just been deliberately hobbled, supposedly to protect what, enterprise adoption?

        1. Captain Save-a-ho
          WTF?

          Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

          "Plus, Microsoft do their damnedest to prevent VNC working out of the box, meaning you often have to configure firewalls and/or piss about in the registry just to get it working properly. Again, not very "it just works", is it?"

          Have you ever used VNC? I've never one time had to muck with the registry to get it working. As for firewalls, you really need to get the sand out of your vagina.

          1. Lunatik

            Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

            Vista Home Premium (specifically UAC and the restrictions on the 'fake' administrator accounts) made it very hard to set up VNC, particularly on a bloody TV in the living room (which was my original point!).

            I admit I've not used it on 7, having switched to Win 7 Pro which has RDP enabled out of the box.

            My vagina has been sand-free for 8 years now, thanks :)

          2. This post has been deleted by its author

          3. RAMChYLD
            Boffin

            Re: Still not getting it, are you Microsoft?

            Well, Assuming I got my VNC experience right, you needed to be already logged in to have the VNC server work. You can't switch on the PC while leaving it headless and expect VNC to relay the login screen to you like RDP does (at least, theoretically not without major registry shuffling). On a Linux box, it's possible (and rather easy) to configure a VNC server to act as a Reversed X server, have (X/K/GDM) run over it and thus have the equivalent of multiple X terminals running.

            That said, I applaud the idea of having less versions of Windows. I just hope that it's pricing would be reasonable and that the home versions will not be as crippled as Windows XP Home was. Seriously, no SMP (and thus no multi-core CPU) support? What the hell Microsoft?!?

  15. Khaptain Silver badge

    Some Good , Some Bad

    Switching of Language (I really hope this will work without rebooting or playing with the registry.)

    ISO/VHD Mount - Definately good.

    VPN Client ( Hope it works with Cisco)

    There is also a lot of guff in that list, in reality there is not that many new options for the end user.

    I won't mention the bad as it is all relative to the user and platform ( Tiles - hint hint)

    Mail, Calendar etc are now called Apps, lol.

  16. Stacy

    At last...

    Three versions! Home, Pro and Tablet

    So much better than the Starter, Home Basic, Home Premium, Professional, Ultimate, Enterprise (*2 with 'N' versions).

    1. Dotter

      Re: At last...

      To be fair, the N version thing was an EU stipulation.

      1. Stacy

        Re: At last...

        True :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: At last...

      Ahhh Enterprise, the forgotten version.

      Even MS download sites don't seem to know they ever made it....

  17. Dave Fox
    FAIL

    No Windows Media Player on the tablet version, a device primarily used for consumption of media?

    Where's the logic in that?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      I wondered that too, but perhaps it's built-in functionality rather than WMP.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No media player

      I was just about to ask the same question. I guess all the Microsoft shills telling us constantly that -

      'the iPad is a toy and a consumption device, but these fabled Windows 8 tablets will be the real deal for people who want to do work' - Are right.

      No media player is an epic fail for me. I doubt it'll be on there under a different name as why would they want to create a second media player under a different name? It'd make more sense to metro up their current media player offering.

      At the end of the day a tablet has no physical keyboard so is far from ideal for majority of business solutions in my eyes and the companies that are rolling them out seem to be doing it because it's the latest fad or they have niche uses which require little text input.

      Windows 8 on ARM was Microsofts chance to really fight back against the iPad and build their ecosystem for people to listen to music / watch videos / play games, but if there's not going to be a media player then any ground they are gaining on the iPad is lost. I'm sure someone will manage to code one for Windows RT though can't imagine it'll be too difficult for some of the bright sparks out there, but it's a basic requirement of any system. This has Windows XP Netbook Edition all over it

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Trollface

        Re: No media player

        Possible sales opportunity, pay for a media player?

        "Hi! You bought a pile of crap, would you like to make a little bit less crap? Only $19.99"

    3. pip25
      FAIL

      Indeed.

      Just when I thought ARM-based Windows could not get any sadder than it was. They apparently lost all contact with reality.

    4. Atonnis
      Megaphone

      But...didn't you know?

      EVERYONE uses Silverlight or Flash nowadays to watch video, streaming it from your favourite service provider!!!!! NO-body would keep their own media and want to sort it, list it, or anything themselves!!!!! I mean, if you did that how would you know what ELSE you could watch, or what you MIGHT LIKE!!! HOW CAN YOU CONSIDER NOT LOOKING FOR THE MOVIE YOU BOUGHT BY STARING AT AN OVER-FILLED SCREEN OF OVERSIZED COVER-ART ICONS INSTEAD OF A SIMPLE ALPHABETICAL LIST!??!!??

      (seriously, if anyone didn't guess this was a sarcastic comment before I reached the all-caps bit, then you really need to stop taking life too seriously)

    5. dogged

      The Preview has Music and Video apps. Presumably these replace WMP in terms of media players under Metro.

    6. RyuWonder
      Happy

      It's baked into the OS

      WMPlayer is not needed as it was, anymore. The new method (as seen on Windows Phone 7.5 and Xbox 360) builds the media functions into all apps so media isn't limited to a specific app. I have played with Win8 previews for a large government sector with it's use of media functions. The results have shown greater productivity and end user feedback has been great. The UI is not actually an issue because it's ability to display information without opening an app saves time, which turns into saving money...companies love saving money!!!

      I'm excited about the changes MS are making. And that's coming from a Mac user (and MS, linux....)

      1. Seb123
        WTF?

        Re: It's baked into the OS

        Can you pass the kool aid so we can all understand your point of view?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's baked into the OS

        "I have played with Win8 previews for a large government sector with it's use of media functions. The results have shown greater productivity and end user feedback has been great."

        No wonder the Government is in the mess it's in if it requires 'media functions' to show greater productivity from users.......

    7. AGuyInEngland

      Windows Media Player is a desktop app.

      Windows RT will have tablet apps for playing media (I assume/hope)

  18. Confuciousmobil
    Meh

    As others have said, Windows 8 is actually very good once you get behind that awful Metro interface.

    Metro might be OK on tablets but why foist it on to the desktop versions? I hope they see sense and at least give us the ability to turn it off.

    But then MS do seem to be losing the plot a bit....

    1. the-it-slayer
      Mushroom

      We all know that under the hood, Windows 8 strides to be ace. But the GUI team have stuffed up on this one. A good opportunity for a reverse engineer/hacker to get underneath Metro and strip it out for anyone insane enough to want to upgrade. They would certainly make a name for themselves.

      Windows 8 will do nothing to pull the ever growing Mac OS X users and certainly push desktop Windows users to the brink of panic when they see Metro.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Well, if, as so many here seem to be praying, Metro pushes Windows users towards OSX, then this may be a masterstroke on Microsoft's part. As the market share rises, so the virus count will rise and "it just works"/"macs are secure" will become widely recognized as the marketing lies that they always were.

        Okay, maybe not a masterstroke. But it will at least be satisfying to see fanbois become a bit less smug.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "A good opportunity for a reverse engineer/hacker to get underneath Metro and strip it out for

        anyone insane enough to want to upgrade. They would certainly make a name for themselves."

        There's already a version that doesn't run Metro - it's called Windows 7.

        Windows 8 will already run the old software - you can fire up the Desktop and totally ignore all the Metro functionality, but eventually there's going to be a new application or software tools that takes advantage of Metro that you want to use, so why would you rip out metro now when you can just ignore it?

        If you don't use it, it won't get in your way!

    2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Holmes

      You could also say "As others have said, Linux is actually very good once you get behind that awful Linux command line interface".

      It really dosen't matter how good the core product is if the interface is crap.

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Coffee/keyboard

        What!!!! A downvote already, somebody thinks the *nix command line is a user friendly intuitive interface!

  19. toadwarrior

    Only two versions to choose from? I need at least 5 more additional useless versions before I can decide.

  20. MaXimaN
    WTF?

    Windows Media Center

    I'm hoping the absence of Windows Media Center is just an accidental omission by Microsoft. It's one of the best pieces of software Redmond has ever turned out.

    And as Dave Fox said - no Media Player on the Tablet edition? WTF?

  21. Ydo Ibother

    Let's go:

    Really Terrific ?

    Really Terrible ?

    Runaway Train ?

    Randomly Terminates ?

    1. Greg J Preece

      Re: Let's go:

      ReTarded?

    2. Mako

      Re: Let's go:

      Rectal Thermometer.

    3. Wensleydale Cheese

      Re: Let's go:

      Real Trainwreck ?

    4. Someone Else Silver badge

      Re: Let's go:

      Retrograde Technology

  22. Levente Szileszky
    FAIL

    Since there's no Windows 8 SME (aka Star Menu Edition)...

    ...no purchase here or on any of our 100+ machines. Told you so, you loudmouthed, bald, fat f@rt, you should've talked to your little retarded princess Sinofsky last year...

    ...so now you'll have a much bigger FAIL on your hand than Vista was - though the upside is that most likely it will finally trigger your long-overdue removal, along with your ilks, after the shareholder riot that will follow your lame, disappointing results next year; time to pick a hobby, porky face.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Since there's no Windows 8 SME (aka Star Menu Edition)...

      "Told you so, you loudmouthed, bald, fat f@rt, you should've talked to your little retarded princess Sinofsky last year"

      Try this out: Before you say something on the Internet, think if you would say it to someone's face. I mean really say it, not just think that you'd like to imagine yourself saying it. Maybe then you would come across as a nicer person and not some sort of angry, angry keyboard warrior.

      Just a thought.

      1. Levente Szileszky
        FAIL

        Re: Since there's no Windows 8 SME (aka Star Menu Edition)...

        Oh trust me, I WOULD. Not as a conversation starter but if he would ask me I would repeat it, face-to-face, no problem here - and for all we know he's pretty thick-skinned too so it shouldn't be a problem on the other side either.

        BTW you misunderstood something: I have zero intention to to come across as a nicer person when it comes to these pigheaded stupid idiots who lead Microsoft for a decade now. Absolutely not.

        Oh and as an every day user of their stuff yes, I AM angry at them, lousy fat *&^%, yes.

        Hope it clears up any remaining lingering questions.

      2. Atonnis
        FAIL

        Re: Since there's no Windows 8 SME (aka Star Menu Edition)...

        Sorry...but no.....in this case he was just absolutely f-king hilarious.

        You don't have to agree with his anger, or his comment, or even how he expresses himself - but if you respond with trying to tell people how they should behave you're just asking for trouble.

        I'm actually impressed with his response to you. It shows that, despite whatever passions he may have, he clearly thinks about what he's writing. Not all abuse or heavily worded insults on the internet are actually just trolling 'keyboard warrior' statements. People actually feel things too.

    2. Atonnis
      Thumb Up

      Re: Since there's no Windows 8 SME (aka Star Menu Edition)...

      Funny :)

      Although...the 'bald, fat f@rt' will be going home with billions in his account....*sigh*...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Using ubuntu-like nomenclature

    What about Windows Rotting Turkey?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Using ubuntu-like nomenclature

      Is Windows Rancid Twat too much for this time in the morning?

  24. David 155
    FAIL

    Windows RT = .......

    Windows ReTard, right?

    1. N2 Silver badge

      Re: Windows RT = .......

      Re Train - every time theres a new version

  25. ColonelClaw
    Thumb Up

    About Time

    Frankly I'm amazed at this outbreak of common sense by Microsoft, I was bracing myself for at least 15 SKUs, including the Windows 8 for Poor People that comes without mouse and keyboard support (but can be purchased as DLC if you can get to the app store).

    The original article also notes there will be a 4th SKU, Win8 Enterprise, but they only mention it in passing. What do enterprise customers get that you can't find in Win8 Pro?

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: About Time

      "What do enterprise customers get that you can't find in Win8 Pro?"

      Maybe downgrade rights to Windows 7? Remember, by this time next year you probably won't be able to buy a legit retail licence for Win7 for love nor money.

      1. Mikel
        Facepalm

        Re: About Time

        Good luck purchasing new hardware to run it on.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: About Time

      Simple, the enterprise customers get a non metro UI - maybe something like the XP one they are all using.

      1. Risky

        Re: About Time

        The two banks I've worked at recently have moved or were moving to Windows 7. I think XP is pretty much dying off now for desktop use, but you will seeing hanging around for stuff like EPOS setups.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: About Time

        unlikely considering even the bloomin server editions are infected with that metro disease.

    3. JeffinLondon

      Re: About Time

      “plus features for IT organization that enable PC management and deployment, advanced security, virtualization, new mobility scenarios, and much more.” This version will be provided only to those corporate customers with Software Assurance agreements.

      From Paul T.

    4. Someone Else Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: What do enterprise customers get that you can't find in Win8 Pro?

      Maybe the ability to shitcan Metro?

  26. yossarianuk

    Only 3.........

    In my world I have the choice of 100's of versions.... Some are actually real desktops (KDE)

    www.distrowatch.org

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows Rectal Trauma

    At last, Microsoft marketing dept. get honest.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows Righteous Turd?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did anyone else notice that you cant install software on the RT

    1. JeffinLondon

      Ah... that would be via the MS App Store.

  30. JeffinLondon

    'er 4 versions really

    Paul T says there's a fourth, Enterprise version as well.

    http://bit.ly/HDb7EE

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows 8 RT

    RT = RISC Technology, I'd guess.... like the IBM RT from many years ago.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_6150_RT

    1. John Lawton
      FAIL

      Re: Windows 8 RT

      Nah, it's Windows ReTread

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retread

      John

  32. trafalgar
    Thumb Down

    MS Word outofdate?

    You need Word to write letters, and other hard copy stuff. Anything with a touchscreen will most likely use web/online forms email and IM. Does Word need a "touch version"?

  33. Armando 123

    Again wit de voisions!

    Once again, MS is providing many versions which will confuse the consumer and create more overhead/headache.

    Remember a few years ago when MS announced five different versions of their impending OS release? Steve Jobs, shortly afterward, was delivering a keynote where he explained that Apple had a basic version: OS X. They had a consumer version: OS X. They had a Professional version: OS X. They had ... It was one of those moments where even Apple's critics said "Boy, this is one place where Apple gets it."

    So MS reduced, and now they're expanding again. Really?

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    onomatopoeia in product naming

    RT: n 1) A brief chirping sound made when a slow-moving, rubber-tyred, vehicle suddenly stops moving to to abrupt failure of its propulsion system.

    2) An expression uttered by the user of a computing device when the operating system suddenly halts in a manner similar to the usage in 1).

    v. 1) The process of halting an operating system suddenly and abruptly due to an unrecoverable fault. See also: BSOD.

  35. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    As I a programmer

    Can I ask what I program this in?

    According to the announcement, the new developer platform is HTML5 + Javascript to bring a new buzzword-buzzword-buzzword to my Windows 8 applications

    According to MSDN I use MSFT's latest attempt at their own version of C++ together with a bunch of COM components to program Metro. Oh joy - I really do miss 1991

    WPF, their last new paradigm in modern GUI buzzword apparently doesn't run on Metro but will run in Desktop legacy mode. I think Silverlight will run as a browser plugin.

    And who knows which of these also work on their smartphones - probably MFC and VBA ?

  36. W.O.Frobozz

    An improvement

    ...over the half-dozen different versions of Vista and 7. They really should have drawn and quartered the idiot responsible for cooking up that scheme. I mean Windows Vista Starter? Is there anyone on the planet who would want that?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Didn't like it

    Installed it, used it a bit, hated it, deleted it. Sums it up. Roll on windows 9

  38. IDF

    Windows 8 has the UI from hell

    The start UI in Winodws 8 is disgustingly ugly, mindlessly impractical and completely un-usable in a desktop environment.

    Microsoft has become decidedly lazy, instead of making separate OS's, one for mobile and one for Desktop, instead they've just made one for mobile and in their mindless stupidity they think the mobile version will be useful in an ordinary desktop environment - who's the clown company contracting to Microsoft, I should become a clown.

    Maybe they have unwittingly hired a bunch of mac loving programmer - way to get back at MS Apple!

    Also the 8 OS is help bent on stealing your personel information and wants you directed and permanently connected to one place online - the Microsoft apps store.

    Its like Facebook with it's spyware and targeted advertising but at OS level, nothing is safe.

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