back to article IT urine bandit fired and charged

An IT worker caught on camera urinating on the chairs of female colleagues has turned himself into local police and been charged with criminal offences. Raymond Charles Foley, 59, was initially dismissed from his IT job at US company Farm Bureau Financial Services after being busted for urinating, in a strange cat like sexual …

COMMENTS

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  1. Esskay
    Coat

    Everyone needs a toilet break

    But this is taking the piss.

    1. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Everyone needs a toilet break

      $4500 in damages for "several chairs"? That place needs to buy less expensive chairs. And maybe more expensive urinals.

    2. asdf Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Everyone needs a toilet break

      Its all fun and games until someone pisses on the rocks in the sauna a few hours before you go in.

    3. asdf Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Everyone needs a toilet break

      Or just as bad someone hours ago pissed in the elevator you need to take up 27 floors or worst of all its never good when you sit on a carpet seat on a public bus and immediately feel your butt get wet (oh wait that might not be urine, nm).

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Urine big trouble now, buster ...

    *ba-da-dumf-tisssssh*

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Urine big trouble now, buster ...

      ... but it's just a wee offense

  3. jake Silver badge

    Back in 1979 or thereabouts ...

    ... on Terrabella in Mountain View, following the monthly "last Friday beer bust" in the Laser Level line at Spectra Physics, one of the 30-something female assemblers was observed to be squatting on the desk of the CuteYoungThing[tm] receptionist/division secretary. We thought she was trying to hide from [something], and pretended we didn't see her behind the glass.

    Come Monday morning the receptionist/secretary's little office reeked of stale urine ... Lots, and lots of stale urine.

    Turned out that the 30-something was jealous because the CuteYoungThing[tm] was dating her ex-boyfriend ...

    1. dssf

      Re: Back in 1979 or thereabouts ...

      SPAYING, SPLAYING, and SPRAYING...

  4. Winkypop Silver badge
    Pint

    Double insult

    Your seat gets pissed on if he thinks you are attractive.

    Your seat gets left alone if he thinks you are ugly.

    The dry-seat brigade must be as angry as the soggy set!

    <-- My kind of piss.

    1. The Commenter formally known as Matt
      Joke

      Re: Double insult

      "<-- My kind of piss."

      You drink Carling?

      1. Piro
        Pint

        Re: Double insult

        Ah yes, truly the worst of the cheap lagers.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Double insult

          Nope, that would be Fosters

          1. Winkypop Silver badge
            Alert

            Re: Double insult

            Oh FSM!

            No way, not Fosters!

            1. Bill Neal
              WTF?

              @winkypop

              What does the Flying Spaghetti Monster have to do with this?

          2. kain preacher Silver badge

            Re: Double insult

            Fosters mixed with Budweiser.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              If you think it's Fosters

              You obviously haven't partaken in the never-ending variety of "Light" beers available in the states... although there is also the every wonderful "Malt Liquor" (still not sure what that means other than "cheap, always comes in oversized cans/bottles and tastes like ass").

              There are a lot of these that make Fosters look like Pilsen Urquell in comparison.

          3. Piro
            Pint

            Re: Double insult

            Well, I'm certainly not stepping in to defend Fosters.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. sisk Silver badge

      Re: Double insult

      "The dry-seat brigade must be as angry as the soggy set!"

      That would depend entirely upon whether the pisser in question is considered desireable or if he's just 'that creepy IT guy'. Given that he's fairly close to retirement age and clearly well on his way to wearing the dirty old man badge in his golden years, I'm guessing he's the latter.

      1. ChrisM

        Re: Double insult

        Golden years.... fnarr fnarr

    3. Gav
      Thumb Down

      Re: Double insult

      Sure. Nothing gets women more annoyed than *not* being the lusted after by a post-middle-age IT creep with the urine fixation. I bet many of his male colleagues feel slighted too. He's certainly a catch worth getting in a fluster about, whatever your orientation!

    4. Trixr Bronze badge
      Devil

      Re: Double insult

      As a female with that kind of nutcase in the office, I'd be perfectly happy to be considered "ugly" by that kind of individual. Since he sounds like he'd be stunning looking himself - not.

  5. Pirate Pete
    FAIL

    Fix the quotation marks in your article

    You have strange characters littering you post, El Reg, you may want to fix that.

    1. Pirate Pete
      FAIL

      *your

      what he said ^^

    2. Drewc Gold badge

      Re: Fix the quotation marks in your article

      Sorted - thanks.

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Studley

    Which is the bigger crime really?

    "urinated on several chairs, causing about US$4,500 in damages"

    Corporate procurement spending upwards of $1,000 per employee on chairs? Maybe some of that cash would be better direct towards, y'know, hiring employees that don't have a penchant for relieving themselves at co-workers' desks?

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      An alarming item to find on your hiring questionnaire!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      Amen to that.....

    3. Jonathon Desmond
      Happy

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      Decent chairs cost upwards of £700 each. Although if this guy pissed on an Aeron it's not really a big deal, just wipe it down with disinfectant!

      1. Crofty616
        Thumb Down

        Re: £700 for a decent chair

        No, they really dont...

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Thumb Down

          Re: £700 for a decent chair

          Not far off.

          You can get 'an office chair' for £75. If you're under the age of 40 and/or intend to make other people sit on it then it might suffice. For six months to a year at least.

          You can get 'an office chair' for £150. If you're under the age of 40 and/or intend to make other people sit on it then it might suffice. Could last a couple of years.

          *But* if you're 40 or over and intend to sit in the seat yourself then anything less than £400 is a poor choice. £700 quid for a chair that someone of advancing age has to sit on for eight hours, five days a week is a worthwhile investment. In my opinion no-one over the age of 40 should be required to sit in a chair that can't be independently adjusted for height,pan depth/tilt,back tilt,lumbar and arm rests. You don't get chairs that offer all that without spending some serious money.

          I would also suggest that anyone over the age of 40 should be offered a free ergonomic assessment every couple of years. A really far-seeing employer would do that at 30 and consider upgrading the seat if appropriate. Sitting is not 'restful'. It's surprisingly stressful on the human body and 'any old chair' is injurious to your health.

          P.S.:I'm not an ergonomics expert nor office furniture salesman. I'm just a 45 year-old whose body won't tolerate sub-standard seating any longer without aching.

          1. FreeTard

            Re: £700 for a decent chair

            Rubbish mate. I'm 41 and my arse is the same as when I was 20 - just fatter obviously.

            I sit in all sorts of chairs while at work. It is your posture that counts, not the chair.

            Yes its nice to have a megachair, but it won't help your aching back if you don't sit correctly.

            1. Danny 14 Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: £700 for a decent chair

              He's right. I used to have a crappy £150 chair until I sat in the "pregnant lady" £500 chair. That thing was mint. A couple of moans to the union later and we all got decent chairs - much better on the posture and aches.

            2. Bruno Girin

              Re: £700 for a decent chair

              The posture is part of it but if you have a really wonky chair, your body will automatically compensate for the wonkyness and adopt a weird (and possibly painful) posture. I had one yesterday that looked fine but was subtly out of kilter and my back started aching after 15 minutes. Swapping for another one (same model, less wonky) immediately relieved the pain. So a good chair is one that enables you to adopt a good posture and can also survive an office environment many years without breaking. Such chairs are not cheap but well worth the investment.

            3. Blitterbug
              Meh

              Re: "rubbish mate"

              Bang on. £150, possibly £200 tops. I have bought 'fancy' chairs from Argos, PC World (yes, I know) over the years for around £150 a pop. They last years, have nice leather, and tilting gas struts (very important - can't stand non-tilting seats). I've never even seen, and can't even begin to imagine, what a £500 chair might look like, or would offer me in terms of comfort that I don't already get from my Argos jobbie. And I'm 48. And weigh 15 stone.

              I'm sorry, but at those prices it's obviously all about the trim and finish. All well and good if you can afford it, but don't tell us you need finist Argyle crotch sproggets hand-knitted in the Outer Hebrides or else your life isn't complete.

              1. Tom 38 Silver badge

                Re: "rubbish mate"

                Yeah, that's the way forward, imply it is all frippery and lace. I'm surprised you didn't say they were iChairs.

                If you want to imagine what a £500 chair might look like, go to any reputable furniture store (no, 'Argos' and 'PC World' are not 'reputable furniture stores').

                Here is a website you can look at to further spur the imagination, with a wide selection of quality chairs:

                http://www.vitra.com/en-gb/range/task-chairs/

                The main points to consider:

                Higher quality workmanship

                Longer warranties - some Vitra chairs have 50 year warranties

                More scientific ergonomic designs

                Installation and training included

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            @Re: £700 for a decent chair

            I think the problem is a seat you have 'to sit on for eight hours, five days a week' - the job needs to be designed better, and the employee in this job has to take breaks when they run around a little

        2. Bob Vistakin
          FAIL

          Re: £700 for a decent chair

          They do when you and I buy them to pamper MP's backsides, a full 2 years after the corruption exposure they all got away with scot free: http://goo.gl/zwtgT

    4. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      The chairs in our office have a list price of £1000, although obviously, buying 300+ of them at once, we didn't pay full price.

    5. James Micallef Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      " urinated on several chairs, causing about US$4,500 in damages."

      That's the bit that jumped out for me as well. Either 'several' is being diplomatic and the guy was hosing every chair in sight and plenty on the carpet, or the employees of this company have state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs.

      Or the procurement department are muppets / have a nudge-wink "special relationship" with the suppliers. Or, given that apparently the 'victims' were the hottest babes in the office, maybe the procurement department were giving them state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs in lieu of 'services rendered'

      1. sisk Silver badge

        Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

        "employees of this company have state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs."

        Eh...that would only be one or two chairs at $4500. I looked into those about five years ago. The cheap ones that were uncomfortable but vibrated were $300 and the ones that you could actually stand to sit in for hours at a time were arount $2000.

        The chairs in my office are about $500 apiece and have been here longer than me. Probably a lot longer than me given that they all went in for repairs about five years ago. Given the longevity and the comfort of these chairs, that's not a bad investment at all. Add in the carpet under the chairs (which no doubt got moist) and it doesn't take many at that price to rack up $4500 in damages.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

          I sit on an Aeron at work now, I used to sit on £100 specials in all my previous firms. At least once a year I would miss at least a day of work due to back spasms when I was in my previous firms. Since switching to an Aeron at work (and at home as well), I have never had time off from back spasms. Given what I'm paid, the £700 investment in the aeron at work (and the same for home) has more than paid off in lack of lost productivity.

    6. Paul RND*1000

      Re: Which is the bigger crime really?

      I had the exact same thought, making me very jealous indeed. If someone peed on my office chair it would cause about 10p in damages.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    could have been worse...

    He might have left a large one instead

  9. Khaptain Silver badge
    Happy

    Water Sports at work, lol

    I hope that they washed all of the coffee cups as well.

  10. Eponymous Coward

    What or who did he deem attractive?

    "...urinating, in a strange cat like sexual marking technique, on the chairs of co-workers which he deemed attractive."

    Was he attracted to the chairs (which) or the co-workers (whom)?

    1. Sir Cosmo Bonsor

      Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

      Really, still this? Maybe it's time for pedants to get over the fact that the word "whom" is no longer part of the language.

      1. Crisp Silver badge

        Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

        Whom is definitely still part of the language. It's in the wicktionary.

        http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/whom

      2. chops

        Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

        Surely it's still part of the language, simply rarely required by most of us within our present patterns of speech and, regardless, not here without rephrasing ("to whom he was attracted"). No, I rarely use the word, just pedantic. Not necessarily correct, just pedantic.

        1. Blitterbug
          Meh

          Re: who / whom

          Not used when speaking so much, I'll agree. But - like avoiding a split infinitive - ought (arguably) to be used in writing. Whom just identifies the object in the sentence, that's all. How complex is that?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

        This is not a quibble about who/whom but which/whom. The meaning of the sentence changes depending on which is used. Maybe obvious in this case, though one never knows, but not always so.

      4. Benchops
        Facepalm

        Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

        A pedant? Reading the Register? Surely not.

      5. Armando 123
        Coat

        Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

        "Maybe it's time for pedants to get over the fact that the word "whom" is no longer part of the language."

        Fackins' faith, puppy, thou might swive a duck for such pedantry!

        (Mine's the one with the copy of Beowulf in the original)

        1. Richard 12 Silver badge
          WTF?

          Re: What or who did he deem attractive?

          Is that even physically possible without killing the duck?

          Horses are one thing, but ducks?

  11. Pete the not so great
    Trollface

    that's discrimination that is

    Against people who think they're part cat, he was just making his territory.

  12. Tom 7 Silver badge

    My boss fancies me a LOT

    judging from the way he shits on me.

  13. Sceptic Tank
    Coffee/keyboard

    Look at them yo-yos

    Even more reason to quit IT. This is what years of dealing with users and QA does to a man.

  14. Slabfondler
    Facepalm

    Urine Bandit?

    Ah, yes, he was "taking a piss". Odd phrase that, one does not take the urine, one rather ejects it from one's body, which would be giving would it not?

    1. The Original Cactus
      Holmes

      Re: Urine Bandit?

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taking_the_piss

      There a several theories as to the origin.

  15. Cazzo Enorme

    The wife, Tette Enorme, used to work at the head office of a large airline. Following similar reports of strange stains on chairs and the surrounding carpet they also had cameras installed. It turned out that one of the late night cleaners broke up the tedium of his shift by pleasuring himself while surfing for porn on the office computers.

    1. Armando 123

      Um

      I cannot bring myself to upvote this.

      1. Cazzo Enorme

        Re: Um

        "I cannot bring myself to upvote this."

        Why not? Italian speaker? If so, I can't help it if my name means something rude in your native language. Some Finnish acquaintances have it pretty bad as well, since two popular Finnish forenames are pronounced the same way as American and Greek Cypriot slang words for the male reproductive organ.

        1. Armando 123

          Re: Um

          No, just that I can't bring myself to upvote a post about a guy wanking in such circumstances.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bastard Urinator From Hell?

    it'll until the next BOfH, I guess

  17. dajames Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Neat trick ...

    ... turning himself into police. I thought that usually involved a not inconsiderable amount of training and some quizzes.

    Turning himself in to police would be easier, of course.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      Clever, but...

      Teacher is marking you down for the double negative ;-)

  18. Martin Maloney
    Coat

    Yeah, I'm doin' it again

    That's what the IT department gets for hiring a Whiz Kid!

  19. FredScummer
    Headmaster

    Should be interesting if he needs to be supplied with a reference!

    Most sacked employees are dismissed for taking the p, not giving it....

  20. Richard Cartledge
    Unhappy

    Eh?

    .....don't we all do this?

    1. Anonymous Cowherder

      Re: Eh?

      I was going to say the same!

  21. Lloyd
    Coat

    Thank goodness

    No one queried the funny tasting chocolate mousse.

  22. armyknife

    Change as good as a rest

    Well it makes a change from the usual management pissing contests.

  23. Alyas
    Linux

    In the WC...

    I bet he didn't lift the seat either.

  24. John G Imrie Silver badge

    What gets me is...

    the length of time from the first report in October until the cameras where installed in February

  25. Doug Glass
    Go

    Like I always say ...

    ... It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I guess that the mysterious freshly-squeezed apple juice in the office canteen won't be appearing anymore.

    1. Aaron Em

      Probably just as well

      Tasted like piss, that stuff did.

    2. Charlie's Butt
      Coat

      Employee Notice

      A company I previously worked for posted a notice in the male washroom:

      ---

      To all employees,

      Please do not leave drinks in the washroom. A cup of liquid - which was later found to be apple juice - was left on one of the urinals.

      ---

      I always wondered who had the unlucky task of determining what that liquid was.

  27. lardheppus
    Trollface

    While having this on one's resume might be an impediment in most circumstances, it might be a positive boon if one's future employer is also a practitioner of ritual territory marking. One suspect the gentleman in question would fit right in with the IT department of Thomas Kincaid galleries.

  28. hi_robb
    IT Angle

    ...

    So the company told him to piss off.

    1. asiaseen

      Re: ...

      after his golden handshake.

  29. Stevie Silver badge

    Hooray!

    I agree that everyone should sit in cheap chairs, but this does not go far enough.

    My own experience leads me to the conclusion that everyone should wear size 11.5 double-E shoes with a flat sole, 44 inch waist trousers and glasses that correct for astigmatism.

    Because what's good for me is, as everyone here so clearly understands, good for everyone.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hooray!

      44 inch trousers definitely bad for your health - try to get them under 40 inches.

  30. Chris 125

    According to police reports , the suspect admitted to Strottman, "I was doing inappropriate things I shouldn't be doing."

    Like answering emails, offering support to colleagues, turning up on time and not taking a quick peek through that folder called "Holiday pics" you just created.

  31. jongaze
    Joke

    Re: Double insult

    What does drinking Fosters and having sex in a canoe have in common?

    They're both f*cking close to water.

    ...Sorry

  32. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    This side of the Atlantic we are being forced in line with our continental bretheren.

    We have to call it "Euronating"

  33. Bango Skank
    Thumb Up

    Playmobil

    ... or it didn't happen

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cat Like

    Any cat caught peeing on my chair gets sent straightaway to the SPCA/RSPCA for disposal.

    Maybe they should check for other cat like behaviours, leaving claw marks on the wooden desks and tread marks from dragging his bum on the carpet.

  35. W.O.Frobozz
    WTF?

    Hey wait a second...

    ..wasn't there an episode of the IT Crowd that was almost exactly like this?

  36. Smithson
    Happy

    Re: Re: "rubbish mate"

    "Installation and training included"

    Why would you need to be trained in how to sit in a chair? I learned that when I was six months old. Maybe I was some kind of chair-sitting prodigy and never knew it? Better put that on my CV quick -- "1981 - learned how to sit in chair, no further training required".

    1. TangD
      Happy

      Re: "rubbish mate"

      I think you were. Looking at my little 8 month old she can definately sit up but no way I'd leave her in a chair, her skills don't extend to not throwing herself off it y'see.

      1981, lord I feel old now.

  37. Dave 32
    Devil

    Dump

    This could give a whole new meaning to the phrase "Taking a dump"! ;-)

    Dave

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least it's am original idea!

    What I want to know is... What was his success rate with these women whose chairs he pissed on?

    (ok, teacher...

    upon whose chairs he pissed)

    1. Martyn 1

      Re: At least it's am original idea!

      Well I'm no Brad Pitt myself but having followed the link to the original story I can't see him having much joy myself.

      As for the $4,500 bill, I would assume that also includes the cost of cleaning the carpets around the soggy chairs, and if I was sitting in those chairs I'd want the desk disinfected too.

  39. JDinKC

    Cameras and IT...

    What I'm wondering is if he worked in IT, how he didn't recognize the cameras were being put in because of his actions. Possibly someone else in management secretely installed the cameras to reduce the risk of the suspect finding out, but not knowing ahead of time who the suspect is, you risk tipping your hand too soon.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    nice..

    a genuine piss artist!

  41. Svantevid

    "The WestDesMoinesPatch reported... "

    ---

    Sorry, I just can't read it as anything other than "The Wet Patch reported..."

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