1. diodesign Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Steve Jobs biopic

    Variety mag reports that Ashton Kutcher - allegedly a film funny man and pop music siren suitor - will play Apple biz baron Steve Jobs in a biopic. And no, this isn't an April Fool.

    But the question we're all wondering is, who should play electronics wizard Steve Wozniak and Microsoft kingpin Bill Gates? Or any other tech celebs you care to think of. Answers on a postcard, er, comment below..

    C.

  2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Trollface

    But WHO will play Ballmer

    about any shaven ape will do...

    1. DJV Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: But WHO will play Ballmer

      I think you will find the correct term here:

      http://thethumbcast.com/2012/02/11/any-old-fucker-with-an-equity-card/

    2. Aremmes

      Re: But WHO will play Ballmer

      So, they could put Jason Alexander up for an audition, and he wouldn't have to wear his new hairpiece for it.

    3. Franklin
      Devil

      Re: But WHO will play Ballmer

      "about any shaven ape will do..."

      Au contraire. While any shaven ape might be able to run Microsoft approximately as well as Ballmer is, the actual task of playing Ballmer on screen requires someone with a much wider repertoire. It's the small nuances that are important--the scowl of outrage when flinging office furniture about the room, the particularly graceless physical humor when dancing. Capturing the *essence* of Ballmer requires considerable range indeed!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Much better idea...

    ...get Omid Djalili to play Jobs. He's always playing Arabs in Hollywood films.

    And yes, I do know he's not an Arab.

  4. Bertie D'astard

    I wonder if they considered Harry Enfield for the Jobs role and Paul Whitehouse for Gates?

  5. Blofeld's Cat
    Happy

    I nominate...

    Steve Wozinak - John Prescott or Russell Crowe

    Bill Gates - Gary Liniker or Rick Moranis

  6. big_Jim
    Megaphone

    Me

    Yes but who will play me and the other 1 billion consumers of Glorious Apple Products/Tethered Pieces of Crap (delete as appropriate).

    Action.

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Me

      big_Jim, you don't get it, do you? Your opinion as an Apple consumer is not worth a dime yet alone the loads of cash you paid for their products. Apple knows best what you need. And you, you are only an amount on their income statement. So, who's going to play that figure?

    2. Steve Knox

      Re: Me

      Well, it seems like all movies have to film at least some scenes in New Zealand nowadays , and I hear they have a lot of sheep there...

  7. Doug Glass
    Go

    Perfect Pick

    The Sacred J stuck it to his fanbois for as long as he could and Kutcher did the same to Demi Moore for as long as he could stand it. Kutcher fits the role perfectly. Balmer ... John Madden? Gates ... Al Gore?

  8. Doug Glass
    Go

    Oh yeah, the Woz ...

    ... Jim Parsons in a fat suit.

  9. LJRich

    Gates / Ballmer

    Rick Moranis for Gates is inspired!! As for Ballmer....? On an entirely seprate topic, I wonder what the orangutan from Every Which Way But Loose is doing these days?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Gates / Ballmer

      Steve Buscemi is Gates.

      For the jobs character we need someone who has played lots of drug dealers, as only someone who did that could compete with what Jobs did to all his dependents, er, customers.

  10. Wibble
    Windows

    Ballmer meet Mr Potato Head

    Something like Toy Story, but Ballmer can't even do falling with style.

  11. Liam.H

    Matt Lucas has been confirmed to play Ballmer

  12. diodesign Silver badge

    Bill Gates

    Good suggestions so far - let me lob in another grenade though: Kermit T. Frog as Bill Gates.

    1. SiempreTuna
      Thumb Down

      Re: Bill Gates

      Kermit would never go for it - he doesn't want to get typecast ..

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      Re: Bill Gates

      Dammit, someone else got there first.

      Kermit may not be slimy enough, mind.

  13. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Balmer?

    Option 1: Alexei Sayle

    Accent may be a problem, but the thought of him chanting "developers, developers, developers!!" in a strong Liverpudlian accent has a strange appeal.

    Option 2: Danny DeVito

    might have to practice chair flinging, however.

  14. Armando 123

    Ideas

    How about the late Peter Boyle as Ballmer? Granted, Boyle, being dead, will have too much emotional range. And the idea of Ballmer puttin gon a top hat and yelling "Puddin ona wiiiiitz!" with Gene Wilder might not work.

    Hm, this needs thinking.

    As for Gates, any pencil neck geek will do.

  15. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

    But WHO will play Ballmer?

    Does anyone care?

    1. vDesktop

      Re: But WHO will play Ballmer?

      I care actually, I think its really important that the actor who plays Ballmer can really capture the tongue waggle.

      The tongue waggle is an important part of the Ballmer user persona which must not be forgotten.

      It reminds us all that the man really does speak in tongues sometimes.

  16. Robert Ramsay
    Thumb Up

    Who will play Ballmer?

    John Goodman, of course.

  17. Collie147

    Woz

    Dan Fogler should play Woz, if he cuts his hair that is.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hard to beat

    Pirates of silicon valley movie had the "TV guy" Noah Wyle in it and he did an amazing work acting in it.

    Movie is made in 1999, way before the iphone and I think not everyone has seen it.

    Just looking like Steve Jobs won't cut it. Just watch that movie and you will understand.

  19. Stumpy Pepys

    Kutcher

    Admittedly, he does look like young Jobs, but I've never seen any evidence of Kutcher being able to act. I'd have cast Mark Strong.

    Ballmer? Bob Hoskins. Wozniak? Ricky Tomlinson.

    1. Alister Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Kutcher

      Wozniak? Ricky Tomlinson.

      Inspired

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    STEVE BALLMER

    STEVE BALLMER SHOULD BE PLAYED BY JACK NICHOLSON OR GLENN CLOSE

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: STEVE BALLMER

      SHOULD THAT NOT BE JACK NICHOLSON AND GLENN CLOSE?

  21. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Ballmer

    Brent Butt: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0125217/

    He can dance like Ballmer too...

  22. Rocketman
    WTF?

    Forums?

    I AM SO MAD THAT YOU MADE ME COME TO THIS FORUM

    I have no idea who should play the other roles, that's why I visit tech sites. But I will surely watch the film.

    I'm still mad.

  23. Drewc Gold badge

    Peter Boyle - but he's dead.

    As he was in Young Frankenstein, of course.

  24. Drewc Gold badge

    Just in... Christopher Biggins to play Paul Allen

    Uncanny.

  25. jake Silver badge

    Obvious answer ...

    As I said in this post from 12 of October last year:

    "How about Guy Kawasaki? Would be fitting.

    Somewhere, Steve's spinning ... "

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Actor

    Ron Jeremy to play Steve Wozniak?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Four more actors have been added to the cast of “Jobs,” the new biopic about the late Steve Jobs, the computer designer and inventor who was co-founder, chairman, and chief executive ofApple Inc.

    Joining Ashton Kutcher, who is starring as Jobs, are Ron Eldard (“Super 8”) as Apple designer Ron Holt; John Getz (“The Social Network”) as Jobs' adoptive father Paul Jobs; Lesley Ann Warren (“Victor/Victoria”) as his adoptive mother; and James Woods (“Salvador,” “Nixon”) as former Reed College Dean of Students Jack Dudman (Jobs dropped out of Reed).

  28. timhowarduk

    Steve Wozniak - Brian Blessed

    Bill Gates - Rowan Atkinson

    should be a laugh!

  29. stonecatch

    they say Kutcher looks like jobs when he was young, but i don't know with the acting part. Kutcher is well known for romatic comedys.

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