back to article So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Our piece last week on Eddie Murphy's cinematic train-wreck A Thousand Words - a possible nominee for the worst film ever - had El Reg commentards queuing up to recount their celluloid nightmare experiences. And chilling reading it made, to be sure. Inspired by your litany of cinematic shame, we've decided to run a poll this …

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  1. dogged

    In before Battlefield Earth becomes undisputed champ.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Worst

      Dynamite chicken - Richard Prior for worst video..not sure if it is a film, in which case my back-up choice is The Heartbreak Kid - Ben Stiller, I hoped it would get better, as some of his films are funny.. but it got worse...90minutes of my life I'll never get back.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Worst

        An old movie, Killdozer, should rank among the worst.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      ..so bad even John Travolta was laughing at one point!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      BOXING HELENA or the remake of Day Of The Jackel.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      every

      Remake they ever made, please if you are able tell me any remake that was better than the original.

      1. Rich464
        Megaphone

        Re: every

        Batman, Scarface, The Thing, Man on Fire? I quite liked those.

      2. The Unexpected Bill
        Go

        Re: every

        I can think of one...the 1999 remake of Gone In 60 Seconds.

        Not that the original film wasn't interesting, it just didn't have much of a story line.

      3. George Nacht
        Go

        Re: every

        OK, I´ll bite. The new Italian Job was way better than the confusing original. And no, I am not a troll. I love heist caper movies, in a sense that I want to see a handful of likable characters overcoming the odds. In the original I was treated to an army of anonymous,disposable thugs, that looked like they could pick up the armored car and simply carry it away. Michael Caine was simply a jerk in it. And do not get me started about the sickening ending...

        OK, this is about the vote for the worst movie.... Well, Pearl Harbor comes to mind very fast.

        1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

          Re: every

          BLASPHEMY! Kill the heretic!

          "New" Italian Job (I always make a point of adding that prefix) - decent movie, REALLY, REALLY badly named. It was like someone remaking The Shawshank Redemption or The Matrix or A Clockwork Orange with the EXACT same name (no sequel rider) and a completely different plot.

          The original wasn't brilliant but it was a cult movie that enjoyed good success and had a good following. Ruining it by some poor American Hollywood "homage" is not the problem, the problem was ALWAYS the name. You could have come up with a million different names that paid homage without trying to trounce the original and cash in on the name. Hell, Italian Job 2 would have been better. At least we could have just written it off as yet-another-sequel to bash.

          It was okay, at best. The first was brilliant at the time and still remembered 40+ years later. You can't judge both films simultaneously.

          Anyway:

          Worst film ever? I could name a few dozen. There are thousands of candidates, certainly, but most are just "bad". I'd have to go for "O Brother, Where Art Thou?", though.

          1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

            Re: every

            Oh. Forgot about From Dusk Till Dawn.

            Seriously, I'm not picking on George Clooney - he's done some great stuff - but that movie made me reach for the remote in a way I've never done before.

          2. big_D Silver badge
            WTF?

            Re: every

            Other remake bads:

            Borne (all of them), the origianl mini-series was good, the remakes had nothing to do with Jason Borne a la Ludlum. As a schlock spy film, they were okay, but ruined by taking the Borne name in vain.

            Get Carter. Stallone just can't play Michael Caine, end of.

          3. Evil_Medic

            Re: every

            Well Sir, I generally agree.

            However, "O Brother, Where Art Thou" was based on Homer's Odyssey-and if watched with that in mind, can actually be pretty hilarious.

        2. sabba
          Mushroom

          Re: every

          You found the original Italian Job confusing? Bloody hell? I hope you are tucked warm in the care home and not allowed out alone. Watch out for the spittle on your keyboard.

          You're not American by any chance are you?

          1. TheRealRoland

            Re: every

            'You weren't supposed to blow the bloody doors off!'

            Nah, it was ok, both the original and the new one. I remember going to a viewing of the new one, with 249 other new minis. Fun!

            Horrible movies? I'm still wondering why Red Dawn was never Oscar material...

            Or any of the Stephen Seagal movies

            1. TheRealRoland

              Re: every

              I know, I know... The downvote was probably because I wasn't ready to stand guard against the Red Menace.

              Or the green one, for that matter... Or blue, yellow, etc.

            2. Def Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: 'You weren't supposed to blow the bloody doors off!'

              Did you mean: "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"?

          2. George Nacht
            FAIL

            Re: every

            No, I am not American. And I really did not expected such an outrage, meaning, I did not expected to gain attention of and insult so much fellow commenters.Please, let me apologize, you are right, the new I.J. is not really a remake, and I should not have been such a ... well... my English is not up to correct word in this case.

            I am very well aware of the cult status of original Italian Job, and I love M.Caine all the way from "Zulu" to "Dark Knight".

            It is too late to remove my comment, so please consider me thoroughly corrected now.

            1. sabba

              Re: every

              Now. There you go. Bet you feel better for that. A cathartic experience I'll bet. Just one quick question: regardless of whether or not you liked the original, which bit did you find confusing?

          3. Alabama Amerkin
            Unhappy

            Re: every

            Well umm uh proud Amerkin! So you just watch yer mouf!

      4. Graham Bartlett

        Re: every

        Casino Royale. Although when the original is a spoof featuring Woody Allen, Peter Sellars and David Niven, the only way is up.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: every Casino Royale

          The original was a sort of camp spoof but the remake was just a bland action film, you could have renamed the characters including Bond and it would not change the film in any way as it had no soul.

          I prefer the psychdelic original.

      5. ThomH Silver badge

        Re: every

        The Maltese Falcon? The Wizard of Oz? Frankenstein? The Fly? His Girl Friday? The Man Who Knew Too Much?

        Admittedly I can't think of one from the last twenty five years.

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: every

        Still no one has come up with a better remake yet, definitely not the Italian Job.

        1. robbak11

          Re: every

          Johnny Dep did a far better Willy Wonka than Gene Wilder's original.

          1. Not That Andrew
            Mushroom

            Re: Re: every

            I'm sorry, but you are talking tripe. Jonny Depp turned an adequate performance as |Jonny Depp, as he always does. Wilder's Wonka was inspired.

      7. robbak11

        Re: every

        Johnny Dep's Willy Wonka was FAR better than Gene Wilder's.

      8. iLikeSushi

        Re: every

        The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Boom.

        The opening sequence alone is one of the best things I've seen at the cinema in a long time.

      9. Squander Two

        Re: every

        The Thomas Crown Affair. At no point in the original did Steve McQueen manage to give the impression that he'd ever even met a businessman; his entire performance comes across as a hippy's idea of what a successful financier might be like -- which it was. The remake isn't just good; it's great.

        And The Talented Mr Ripley is way better than Plein Soleil.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Highlander II

    1. Ian K
      Childcatcher

      Seconded.

      Not only because it's a dire film (which it is), but because first Highlander was such a classic; far greater heights to plummet from.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Indeed. In fact, can we have an award subcategory for "worst sequel in comparison to a really quite good original"? I'd like to nominate Lake Placid 2 as an outstanding example.

      2. GumboKing
        FAIL

        Zeist?!?

        Thirded. I still remember before heading in to Highlander 2 saying "It's got Connery in it it will have to be good." After, "WTF, they are from a planet named Zeist?!? What a load of crap, It is bad enough you made them aliens, but even a 3 year old could have come up with a better name for a planet than that." Shudder.

        1. Daniel von Asmuth Bronze badge
          Unhappy

          Re: Zeist?!?

          I lived in the town of Zeist for 21 years.

    2. Dances With Sheep
      Holmes

      > Highlander II

      You utter bastard.

      I thought I had banished that abortion of a film from my memory.

      ... you have reminded me of the lowest point of the 1990's. A sequel so shite it makes the Matrix II look like Citizen Kane by comparison.

      1. jon 68
        Big Brother

        There IS no Highlander II they skipped that one

        repeat these words over and over...

        there is no...

    3. Graham Marsden

      @SaveTheSharks

      ITYM "Highlander II - The Sickening"!

      I saw it on pirate video and thank the gods I did because it saved me having to queue up for my money back!

      Alternatively, the Hitch-Hiker's Guide Film: This film is bad. Really Bad. I mean you just won't believe how hugely, mind-bogglying bad this film was. You may have thought the Highlander II or Waterworld were bad, but that's just peanuts to this film. Listen...

      A film that takes Douglas Adams wonderful wordplay and either sets up the joke but then forgets to do the punchline or does the punchline without the setup meaning it falls totally flat. And as for the ludicrous Hollywood Meddling "Arthur and Trillian fall in love" sub plot? Belgium, man! Total swutting belgium!!

      1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

        Re: @SaveTheSharks

        Unfortunately, if you read about the project, you'll discover that most of the script was written by... Douglas Adams himself. (Yes, even the "Humma Kavula" scenes, and those 'spade-in-the-face' visual gags on Vogsphere. Douglas Adams himself really did write those.)

        I rather liked it myself. It's far from perfect, and relies heavily on a very British cynicism to make any sense out of it, but it's a pretty good attempt to squeeze a six-episode radio play / novel / TV series / text adventure (all of which differed substantially from each other, remember) into a mere 90 minutes of medium-budget movie.

        The original radio series was extremely episodic in nature and had very little by way of plot. It really is a rehash of the classic 1940's-era science fiction story template of "some guy gets a guided tour of the future / an alien world / etc. before being returned home (eventually)." That was already an SF cliché by the 1950s.

        Douglas Adams was very fond of chopping and changing the original to fit each medium. He was also very much a comedy sketch writer at the time, and it shows in the early Hitch-hiker novels; it wasn't until a couple of books into the series that he finally worked out how to plot. And I think he made the mistake of trying to shoehorn a plot into his screenplay. It meant cutting out lots of set-pieces and sketches in favour of moving the plot along, and this is probably why it doesn't work as well as it could have. But it's a pretty decent stab, all told.

        I'd have preferred the effort had gone into a TV miniseries instead as there's just too much material for a single 90 minute film—and Adams himself claimed to have been unsatisfied with the original BBC TV series, so a remake actually made sense. (Zaphod Beeblebrox's two heads proved impossible to create on-screen with the technology of the day, so we were left with a very obviously fake animatronic head that couldn't even move its lips and eyes realistically. CGI makes that sort of thing so much easier to do.)

        Adams' later "Dirk Gently" novels lent themselves rather better to the movie format, I think.

    4. Flat Phillip
      FAIL

      How to wreck the memories of the original

      I was going to nominate Freejack as it takes a good idea and stuffs it completely (Mick Jagger as the bad guy in a pink tank probably the highlight) but yes, Highlander II certainly beats that.

      How could they possibly get it so wrong?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oh yes, Highlander II - the only film I've ever walked out on.

    6. zen1

      I do believe

      Highlander II was more of a pathetic cry for help!

      1. Graham Marsden
        Facepalm

        Highlander films...

        ... there should have been only one!

        1. Chet Mannly

          Re: Highlander films...

          "... there should have been only one!"

          There WAS only one Highlander movie, just like there was only one Matrix movie, and one Blues Brothers movie

          - sometimes denial can be a force for good!

  3. irish donkey
    Thumb Down

    TRON

    That's the most recent rubbish I started to watch..... do you need to watch it all to qualify?

    1. irish donkey
      WTF?

      Six down votes............ this is madness

      This is TRON: Legacy.

      a good film......... no way.

      There a lot of crazy people round here

      1. SoaG

        Re: Six down votes............ this is madness

        I'd guess the downvotes are related to your not clearly specifying you meant the new one. Haven't seen it, so no opinion myself.

        1. Aaron Em

          Re: Six down votes............ this is madness

          I have. It's atrocious, and not even pretty enough to make up for it.

          1. Not That Andrew

            Re: Six down votes............ this is madness

            Actually the original Tron is also pretty pants, even though it has some shiny for it's day FX. The sequel doesn't even have the excuse of groundbreaking FX it's just painful. But by no means the worst movie ever.

            The worst movie I have seen is some execrable kids movie which my brothers spawn dragged me to when I was babysiting it. Thankfully I forgotten it's name, but the scars will remain. And there was a perfectly good Harry Potter movie showing at the same time, but nooo, it had to see that piece of shit.. I don't think the other moviegoers appreciated me yelling "You've got a goddamn gun! Just shoot the fucking squirrel!" at the screen.

        2. Chika
          Mushroom

          Re: Six down votes............ this is madness

          Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!!

          Wonder if anyone has noticed the story that the BBC is running at the moment about Disney's latest turkey, "John Carter"? They go on to list in a side article quite a few worthy rotten tomatoes, including The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

  4. nichomach
    Mushroom

    I've sat through some truly awful stuff...

    ...but I still maintain the one that takes the biscuit is "My Little Eye". "The horror....the horror..."; it truly was the most execrable abuse of a camera that it's ever been my misfortune to endure.

    1. veti Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: I've sat through some truly awful stuff...

      I shared your misfortune in sitting through that, and I agree.

      It's the only movie that's ever made me feel *ashamed* to have watched it. Pretty much as if I'd paid to watch a real snuff movie.

    2. Alabama Amerkin
      Meh

      Re: I've sat through some truly awful stuff...

      One amazon.com reviewer said this, in part: "I began groaning within minutes of starting director Marc Evans's low budget horror film "My Little Eye." Why, you ask? Well, it looked, sounded, and generally felt like one of those shot on video disasters routinely released by companies like Sub Rosa. If you have spent even a small amount of time plumbing the depths of zero budget horror films, you know what I am talking about. Sub Rosa distributes the absolute worst movies imaginable, films so terribly awful that any sane viewer of such dreck immediately feels like lobbying Washington for some sort of legalized ban on this sort of stuff. The only saving grace in this situation, and I mean the only one, is occasionally stumbling over something of quality. Such a diamond in the rough might still need some polishing, might not shine as brightly as the viewer would hope, but said diamond is still worth watching. "My Little Eye" constitutes such a bright spot. It is hopelessly low budget, painfully so, but all the elements come together in the end to deliver a truly frightening experience that studio films operating with better actors, bigger budgets, and better special effects cannot seem to muster. This one is a winner."

      I haven't seen it. Cursed or blessed? I'm still not certain.

  5. ShelLuser
    Pint

    The worst possible movie

    Is best forgotten as quickly as possible :-)

    1. irish donkey
      Happy

      Re: The worst possible movie

      I really struggled to come up with one....

      as you say some are best and often thankfully forgotten quickly

  6. xyz
    Devil

    Anything on in the Curzon in London, the haunt of the lost fanbois clutching their ancient macTops and trying to look cool.

    1. Marvin the Martian
      Headmaster

      Bad, weak troll.

      "Anything on at X" being "the absolute worst ever in this galaxy"? Sad.

  7. Graham Bartlett
    Alien

    Green Lantern. It's worse than Battlefield Earth. I didn't think it was possible, but apparently it is.

    1. DuncanL

      "it's worse than Battlefield Earth"

      Really? Thank you for the warning - I shall give the Green Lantern a wide berth on the off-chance that you've discovered the anti-Holy grail that is a film less enjoyable than BE.

  8. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Mushroom

    I want to nominate a film 571 times

    U571

    1. johnwerneken

      Re: I want to nominate a film 571 times

      ROTFFLMFAO. I agree, make it 572 votes.

  9. DAN*tastik

    The Matrix 2

    Not only it was excruciatingly bad, but when I left the cinema I was almost in tears because they soiled the name of the film it was a sequel of. Which I adored.

    Maybe it should be the Matrix 3, but I couldn't even be bothered to look for its torrent.

    1. Richard 81

      Re: The Matrix 2

      At least The Matrix 3 was funny.

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: The Matrix 2

        2 and 3 are best forgotten.

        But they are merely poor.

        Reminds me of Camerons folly.

        He really expected Titanic DVD to be a success with a non-anamorphic transfer and no extras - complete sales flops.

        So what was released at the same time and topped the sales charts?

        The Matrix, a really enjoyable film best watched without reference to the sequels

        1. goldcd

          Re: The Matrix 2

          No they are not 'merely poor'

          Matrix 2 was so bad that it managed to not only destroy itself, but another film that had come out years before AND a film yet to be even shown.

          See also Terminator 3, Aliens 4 (for some reason I can give 3 a pass), Batman and Robin etc

          Most annoying films aren't really the bad ones, but the ones that were 'nearly good'. My mind has clearly just emptied now I need to find an example, "In Time" fits the bill.

          1. auburnman

            Re: The Matrix 2 (goldcd)

            Terminator 3 stands out from the crowd for me. I went to see it in the cinema and distinctly remember there was no dramatic music during the car chase scene. Did the Director actually go to film school?

    2. schotness

      Re: The Matrix 2

      I dunno I liked the orgasm cake idea....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Matrix 2

        Can I have a pre-emptive nomination for the Wachowskis' forthcoming film of Cloud Atlas?

        At least with the Matrix series, they only ripped off bits several dozen uncredited books, rather than gutting a single name and loved book.

        I'm cringing already

        1. Alister Silver badge

          Re: The Matrix 2

          FatsBrannigan wrote: "At least with the Matrix series, they only ripped off bits several dozen uncredited books, rather than gutting a single name and loved book."

          And on that note, I would like to nominate "I Robot"

          1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

            Re: The Matrix 2

            For the first category? Because I Robot really steals parts from all the Asimov robot books, not just one. And, actually, given that, I don't think it's that bad.

            But someone really needs to shoot the studio for the sell-out crap on the Nike shoes or whatever it was. Excruciating product placement best left on the cutting-room floor.

      2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Facepalm

        Re: The Matrix 2

        Orgasm Cake?? I don't remember that scene.

        Oh, it just realised why I don't remember it

    3. Nick G

      Re: The Matrix 2

      Any film with Monica Bellucci in a translucent rubber dress can't be all bad...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Re: The Matrix 2

      I dunno what you guys have been smoking.

      I realise that it used to be fashionable to diss anything that was immensely popular as "selling out" but that is so passé.

    5. Mr Maths

      Re: The Matrix 2

      There is only one Matrix film. In the same way that there are only 3 StarWars films - the first of which was 1977.

    6. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: The Matrix 2

      Too bad they never made any sequels to The Matrix

      http://xkcd.com/566/

  10. Alan 6

    The title is too long

    You may think I'm making this title up, so I'll put an IMDb link in here as well.

    The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

    Directed by serial offender Ray Dennis Steckler, it's one of those films that could have been in the "so bad it's good" category, but it stays firmly in the bad camp

    http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0057181/combined

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The title is too long

      Hah - thanks (not). Long titles reminds me of Anthony Newley's film, 'Can Heironymous Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Hump and Find True Happiness'.

      It's not even as good as its own title.

    2. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: The title is too long

      Speaking of funny titles, a really bad movie I remember from my youth..

      Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future.

      B movie supreme :)

      1. Sweaty Hambeast

        Re: The title is too long

        Captain Power was a TV show and actually got quite watchable at the end when they actually added a bit of a plot. Not a lot of a plot but...

  11. John A Blackley

    I nominate

    The English Patient.

    Best Actor should've gone to Ralph Fiennes' bandages.

  12. Big_Boomer
    Meh

    Who remembers bad films? If it's bad enough you press stop or change channels.

    If you watch it all the way through then more fool you.

    Worst film I managed to watch all of was probably Dusk 'til Dawn.

    The first 45 mins is the worst shite ever. Utter drivel

    But starting with Cheech Marins "Pussy" spiel the last 35 mins is a blast.

    So, can I nominate half a film?

    1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      You mean you didn't laugh when Richard Gecko looked through the hole in his hand?

  13. Turtle

    The Abyss

    What could be worse? Unless it's the Alien movie. (Only saw one. That was enough and much much more than enough.)

    I know that this is way outside the parameters of the discussion, but the worst *genre* of movies, or games, ever conceived, has to be sci-fi horror. While it would not be true to say that every sci-fi horror movie is execrable, it would be correct to say that *nearly* all of them are. ]

    A different kind of "worst" is the film that gets the "Pure Tedium" award: the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. All I can say about that is "wowwwzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.z.........zzzzzzzzzzz........"

    1. Richard 81

      Alien?

      Philistine!

      1. Jean-Luc Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Alien?

        >Alien?

        >Philistine!

        Hey, don't be mean to the Philistines! They clearly have better taste than this guy.

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: The Abyss

      Abyss AFAIR was OK, but Alien - that is a fantastic film

    3. Aaron Em

      Re: The Abyss

      You don't like Alien? Downvoted for unacceptably poor taste.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Abyss

      I don't fancy the downvotes much, but I have to say I agree. I've really tried to watch LOTR films, and yeah, they're just boring, simple as that.

  14. Efros

    Anything

    starring Keanu Reeves, graduate of the Woodentop School of Acting.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Anything

      Don't diss Bill and Ted

    2. Ef'd

      Re: Anything

      And with this I nominate Street Kings.

    3. Drewc Gold badge

      Re: Anything

      He was quite good in Parenthood.

    4. Sweep

      Re: Anything

      A Scanner Darkly is good....

  15. Irongut

    The atrocities of big budget Hollywood pale into insignificance next to some of the many low budget howlers I've seen over the years. So my nomination is...

    ZOMBEAK

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462640/

    No other film can be as excruciatingly bad in every way.

    1. Aaron Em

      Sorry

      You'll do better to nominate something that anyone else has ever heard of, I suspect.

    2. Cpt Blue Bear

      Only in numbers. Big budget atrocity reaches far more people. Besides, I'm willing to cut small timers some slack but not when you are supposed to be the best and spent the GDP of a central African republic make the turkey.

  16. sisk Silver badge

    Every film listed so far is actually pretty decent when compared to the worst movies around, with the possible exception of Highlander II (which doesn't exist, I don't care what anyone says).

    The most truely awful movie I've ever had the misfortune to experience is Plan 9 From Outer Space. Also high on the list is Legend of the Rollerblade Seven. I nominate both of them.

    1. fandom Silver badge

      Another movie that never was

      Star Trek V, they went straight from IV to VI.

    2. SoaG

      Plan 9 From Outer Space

      That may quite possibly be the original so-bad-it's-good film by which all others are judged.

      1. sisk Silver badge

        Re: Plan 9 From Outer Space

        Call me crazy, but every so-called so-bad-it's-good film I've seen has struck me more as being just plain bad.

        1. Drewc Gold badge

          Re: Plan 9 From Outer Space

          Plan 9 is very funny, especially when you are in a cinema with 400 late night bad movie aficionados.

      2. Armando 123
        Windows

        Re: Plan 9 From Outer Space

        As bad as Plan 9 is ... and it is ... it cannot hold a candle to Manos: the Hands of Fate; Monster A-Go-Go; or Child Bride. (Yes, MST3K fan here.)

  17. EyeCU

    Sunshine

    Biggest pile of drivel I have had the misfortune to watch

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Sunshine

      I thought it was OK and quite watcheable

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Audrey S. Thackeray

      The soundtrack alone makes 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' too good to be anywhere near this discussion.

  19. Michael Philbey 1

    I have 2

    the first fuilm i would like to nominate is Superman Returns. even thinking about this film puts me tyo sleep

    My Second Nomination would have to be Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

    1. Munchausen By Taxi

      Re: I have 2

      I'll give you S.R. I only watch it for the plane rescue scene. The rest of it was dull as hell.

  20. Peter Richardson

    The Quest

    Jean-Claude Van Damme's lowest point, which is really saying something. Somehow Roger Moore got dragged in for the worst cameo appearance ever too.

    1. John 62

      Re: The Quest

      That was awful, but the producers must have thought they could do a better Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat movie, but couldn't get the license. I thought the tournament part of the movie wasn't too bad.

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Rob 30

    well of recent times, i think the green hornet

    but for all time worst, i'm torn between swinging barmaids and supervan.

    salo was terrible as well i thought, but it apparently has some merit somewhere.

  23. stuartrc

    so many options

    Salo - nothing but snuff dressed in a freedom of expression dirty mac.

    Salt - because it is just abysmal

    Dancer in the dark

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Avatar

    Utter tripe.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Avatar

      I never agree with u on much but here you have respect.

    2. dogged

      Re: Avatar

      Fuck, I sort-of agree with Barry.

      It's not the worst, but it is Pocahontas for Furries and as such should be ritually burned.,

      1. FrankAlphaXII Silver badge

        Re: Avatar

        Fuck, I agree with Barry for once myself. I hated that fucking movie. It reminded me of alot of modern video games, style with zero substance and very thinly veiled political agenda.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: Avatar

      I never thought I'd vote you up! Seems like the meds are working for you ;)

  25. Amazon Wageslave
    Mushroom

    Igby Goes Down

    Igby Goes Down. Not even the ohsopretty Claire Danes could save that one. I was chatting with my girlfriend ages back and she mentioned Igby Goes Down. I said I hadn't seen it- she pointed out that we'd watched it together. The film was so bad my mind had attempted to scab over the entire viewing experience.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Igby Goes Down

      "A grumble flick? With Clare Danes? Bingo!"

      What disappointment when I did a search on IMDB...!

  26. Vaglin
    FAIL

    Highlander the source = complete and utter tripe.

  27. tfb Silver badge
    Devil

    Avatar

    A competitor in its own right, of course, but in terms of goodness per currency unit it must beat anything else into dust.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Avatar

      haven't seen it yet - looks a bit silly, and I like SciFi.

      Are they giant Smurfs?

    2. Alex C

      Re: Avatar

      Wasn't that the big budget Pocahontas remake?

      I quite enjoyed it in a 'leave your brain' at the door sort of way.

  28. lexonic
    Facepalm

    Macho Woman.

    A Troma Films spectacular. Tagline: Born to shop, she learnt to kill.

    Even by their own "so bad its good" standards, its a stinker.

  29. mdava

    I'd like to nominate Moulin Rouge, although (bizarrely) apparently a lot of other people liked it.

    1. Joefish
      Paris Hilton

      Definitely Moulin Rouge.

      I amazed myself by actually watching some of Mamma Mia without resorting to self-harm, and Baz Luhrman's take on Romeo and Juliet is impressive. But Moulin Rouge? By the Lord Harry that was atrocious.

  30. Keller Drozdick
    Unhappy

    Awful

    Random Hearts, 1999 - Harrison Ford, Kristin Scott Thomas

  31. Kimo
    Childcatcher

    Death Race 2000

    David Caradine sex scene...need I say more?

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: Death Race 2000

      Ignoring Caradine's ignominious end, DR 2000 is a fucking classic.

      Now, if he did a pilot movie for 'King Fu' then that would have to be voted for, especially when we could have had Bruce instead.

    2. John 62

      Re: Death Race 2000

      I'm torn over the Jason Statham remake. It was absolutely terrible on so many levels, but as a dark version of Mario Kart, that had LOVEJOY!! in it, it was almost watchable.

  32. Efros

    Ghost

    My girlfriend of the time reckoned the only good thing about the movie was that Patrick Swayze was dead for most of it.

    1. Drewc Gold badge

      Patrick Swayze dead?

      Oh I missed that bit.

  33. eSeM

    Footloose .....

    A town where dancing Is banned, complete drivel..... and to think there was a remake of it last year.

    1. sisk Silver badge

      Re: Footloose .....

      Actually when the original was made it wasn't that difficult to find small towns in the Bible Belt where dancing was banned. Probably 90% of them changed that law after the original came out though, and most of the rest have long since quit enforcing it. That leave the remake looking rather silly.

  34. Tom from the States

    Eraserhead

    Either the worst movie or the most bizarre movie of all-time. Yes, I paid money to see it.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Eraserhead

      Yeah, it was a bit weird, but despite the plot, it was well made. I watched it in 1988 as part of a triple bill at the Duke of York in Brighton. The other films were... erm... *digs deep* Ah! Razorback and Beyond The Valley of the Dolls.

  35. TRT Silver badge

    The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

    I couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of it. They mangled the carefully crafted dialogue produced by Douglas Adams to create something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike something even bearably watchable.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

      Just not good, not a dire film, just not good.

    2. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      Marvin

      With Alan Rickman doing a fairly poor Stephen Moore impression.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

      More than dire.....

    4. Geoff May

      Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

      I had been told it was bad but it was on the box last night so I decided to watch it and make my own opinion. I was utterly devastated by the film.

    5. ArkhamNative
      Paris Hilton

      Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

      I kinda liked it. Maybe it was because the cast was stellar (Zooey Deschanel, Martin Freeman, Warwick Davis, Helen Mirren, Simon Jones, John Malkovich, Bill Nighy, Stephen Fry, Alan Rickman, ....) I leave Mos Def to last only to highlight a brilliant casting decision to show that aliens from outer space don't always look like "us". ;-)

      1. I think so I am?
        Thumb Up

        Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

        Stephen Fry as the Guide was the only master stroke to the whole film!!

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

          Although I love Stephen Fry, his diction wasn't clear enough for the guide, which is why Peter Jones will always be the voice of the book for me.

      2. TRT Silver badge

        Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

        Ford Prefect has some of the best lines ever conceived, yet Mos Def delivers them as if he's chewing a sweat sock. The guy is a mumbler. During the 5-10 minutes I saw, they were shut in the airlock; the just completely removed the "Wait a minute... what's this switch? No, I'm only fooling, we're going to die." bit. That highlights the whole Ford/Arthur relationship. No, I'm sorry, cast or not, dreadful movie.

  36. Accura
    FAIL

    Battlefield Earth

    as many other have already stated!

  37. peter collard

    The Mexican (2001)

    Is the only movie that I've slept thru - walked out after an hour of boredom/snoozing and don't have a clue what it was about..

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: The Mexican (2001)

      Seen it forgotten it.

      Boring rather than bad

      Used to get cheap DVD rental

  38. Mine's a pint
    Thumb Down

    It's hard to choose,

    But I would pick "Hardware". I watched it because it had a cameo of Lemmy from Motorhead.

    1. eSeM

      Re: It's hard to choose,

      Had a good soundtrack from what I recall.

    2. Alabama Amerkin

      Re: It's hard to choose,

      I liked THIS Hardware: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099740/

      Is that the one you dislike?

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What about the clasic

    Plan 9 from outer space

    1. ArkhamNative
      Trollface

      Re: What about the clasic

      IMHO once a film has been celebrated as a "worst ever", it sometimes becomes a "cult classic". Plan 9 reached this status. It even had a film made about its making. LOL.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    clearly no-one has watched anything by a "director" called Pat Higgins - TrashHouse and Killer Killer are 2, and consumed about 3 hours of my life i would love to have back!!!

  41. P.Nutt
    Flame

    The Fountain

    I can not believe that during the weeks/months/years that this film was being written, filmed and cut that not one person stood up and said that it was a pile of pants!!

    Its 96 minutes of my life I will never get back and still a sore point with the wife who took me to see it as I was getting bored shopping. To this day I have never complained about shopping with her ever since.

    Flame as everyone one involved in this movie should burn in hell for it.

  42. I'm Brian and so's my wife
    Thumb Down

    SW9

    Named after Brixton's postcode. It was a weird film that tried to capture the edginess of the area using a number of interweaving plot lines. It failed and just left me annoyed at losing a small bit of my life.

    This was a while before on-demand video services over t'internet.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Love And Human Remains is probably my one.

    Following an epic spell of indecision in Blockbuster when we were teenagers, one of my friends grabbed this one and by then we were all too bored to object, or, for that matter, even read the plot summary on the back.

    The only good to come of it was that we never, ever, let him choose which movie to watch after that.

  44. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    Snakes on a plane.

    Not remotely funny....

    1. SYNTAX__ERROR

      Re: Snakes on a plane.

      Yes. The only good part of that film is the infamous line utilising Samuel L. Jackson's favourite phrase of cursing.

    2. Miek
      Coat

      Re: Snakes on a plane.

      You actually watched that?

      Here's your coat ...

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    best worst films

    There are 2 films that are so bad that in some crazy post-modern way they've got a massive fan clubs (well, A fan club at least), both claiming to be best worst movie.

    Troll2

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/

    and

    The Room

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368226/

    1. I'm Brian and so's my wife
      Unhappy

      Re: best worst films

      Oh dear God, I had totally forgotten about The Room!!

      Definitely The Room, no shadow of a doubt: yet another one in the bucket beyond "so bad it's good." Perhaps that bucket should be termed "so bad, I wept uncontrollably with joy once it ended."

    2. mrobaer
      Thumb Up

      Re: best worst films

      Yes indeed, Troll 2 is horrendous.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    1. TRT Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: My nominations

      Not on general release. Do these films have to have been passed by the BBFC?

    2. Drewc Gold badge

      Re: My nominations

      Harsh.

  47. That Steve Guy

    Deep Blue Sea

    The only good part is Samuel L Jackson being killed during his "we gotta pull together" speech, apart from that utter drivel with the worst acting and CGI ever seen.

  48. amanfromearth

    Dune

    Infinitely worse than Battlefield Earth.

    Such a pity, because both the books are in the insanely great category

    1. SoaG

      Re: Dune

      To suggest original or new Dune movies were less than good (even if not as good as they could have been) suggests you missed the point of the books and the movies alike. (Sardaukar terror troops in the newer ones looking like open-kitchen staff from an Italian themed restaurant aside).

      To suggest the Battlefield Earth books were any less awful than the movie confirms your complete lack of taste. They were so bad that even as a sci-fi junkie teenager at the time I couldn't force myself to read beyond the first 1/2 of the series.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

        Re: Dune

        IIRC Battlefield Earth was a book, not a series. Are you thinking of Invasion Earth (by Piers Anthony).

        Johnny Goodboy Tyler FTW!

        1. frank ly Silver badge

          Re: Dune

          The made for TV series adaptation of Dune was quite good and true to the book(s), even if some of the acting was a bit wooden. The film looked like they'd put the book's ideas through a blender and poured it into a script.

          1. JEDIDIAH
            Linux

            Re: Dune

            The miniseries completely missed the Zeitgeist of the book. The 80s movie managed to nail it quite effectively despite it's other flaws.

        2. SoaG

          Re: Hubbard * Earth books

          Just now looked it up. It seems the series was Mission Earth ~6,000 pages of dreck. Completely gave up on Hubbard after attempting those, so never read, or even knew of, Battlefield as a different work. Just years later heard of a movie that sounded (in name, story and sheer awfulness) nearly identical from the same author and assumed it was the same.

          That more than one such steaming pile originated from the same pen suggests it was not a mistake to forgo further reading.

    2. Graham Bartlett

      Re: Dune

      Disagree. Dune wasn't bad per se, it just failed bcos they ran out of budget and had to butcher the last half of the book. (Oh, and the "weirding modules" crud.) Up to Paul joining the Fremen was pretty much perfect though. So for me it falls more into the category of those "nearly great" could-have-beens.

      I saw it for the first time last year, and even though it's 30 years old, I was still blown away by the shield FX which are like nothing you've ever seen.

  49. David Webb

    Twilight and it's sequels, films made from the worst books ever naturally produce the worst films ever, it's like evolution, possibly.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Those movies broke the rule: they were far better than the books (but still pretty bad).

  50. Andrew Moore Silver badge

    Napoleon Dynamite

    God, what a turgid piece of crap.

    1. I think so I am?
      FAIL

      Re: Napoleon Dynamite

      Only time it is remotely funny is if you’re really p*ssed or really High. And then you only laugh at how sh*t it is!

  51. SoaG
    Facepalm

    Merely being a bad film isn't enough.

    Some movies are obviously bad before they even start, and thus easily avoided, such as Battlefield Earth and the entire Steckler portfolio mentioned previously.

    The worst ones are those that despite being terrible somehow become inexplicably popular, not always, but most often with the fairer sex.

    Examples: St. Elmo's Fire, Titanic, Twilight, the entire catalogs of Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise or Oliver Stone (other than Platoon).

    The word-of-mouth expectation that they may be good, makes the experience of actually seeing such films that much worse.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: the entire catalogs of Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise or Oliver Stone

      Upvoted! The popularity of Cruise mystifies me. Most big name Hollywood actors have perfected several facial expressions and are more or less capable of adopting them on command from the director.

      Cruise has 2 expressions -

      - the one where he's trying to look tough but just looks like a plank

      - the other one - used for happy, sad, bemused, 'charming', etc. This one makes him look like a gerbil surprised by an unexpected cavity search.

      1. circusmole
        Thumb Up

        Re: the entire catalogs of Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise or Oliver Stone

        Spot on, except I must have Ben Afflick and Piano Reeves included :-)

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

  52. Steve Knox Silver badge

    Well, you could start

    With every movie showcased on Mystery Science Theater 3000:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094517/

    But that would make a huge list, so I'll give you my top 3 from that show's illustrious history:

    Manos: The Hands of Fate,

    Red Zone: Cuba,

    and the very long-titled one mentioned by alan above: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, or as MST3k fans call it: TISCWSLaBMUZ (an abbreviation which makes more sense than the movie does.)

    If I had to choose one, I'd say Red Zone: Cuba. I've actually been able to piece together the plots for the other two, but after a dozen or so times watching it, I still have no idea what Red Zone: Cuba is about. I think Cuba is involved, but I'm not sure...

    I'd like to suggest disqualifying movies like Hobgoblins, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Troll 2, or anything by Troma Studios, on the grounds that those movies are intentionally cheese.

    1. FrankAlphaXII Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Well, you could start

      Yeah I think Red Zone sucks worse than Manos. Even though Manos doesn't make a whole hell of alot of sense either.

      "Pod People" and "Cavedwellers" were pretty awful too. Im pretty sure they're all first or second season.

  53. MJI Silver badge

    US remakes

    Of classic British and European films

    Also

    I will exclude bad adaptions of books.

    Worst I have seen I think is Plan 9. Battlefield Earth is bad, Alien 4 is shite.

    1. James Micallef Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: US remakes

      I have to agree on that.

      Death at a funeral - English version was utter genius. The US version was complete crap (almost literally, seeing the amount of toilet humour they put in)

      "Le Diner de Cons" is a masterpiece, I was busting a gut laughing, even though my French wasn't good enough to properly keep up. The US version "Dinner for Schmucks" would be just 'meh' if I saw it "stand-alone", but having seen the original, I know it took a hell of a lot of screwing up to go from masterpiece to 'meh'.

      Also, I found "Abre los Ojos" to be totally enthralling (again, my Spanish was just barely good enough to keep up), haven't seen "Vanilla Sky", which was based on it, yet, and I'm not sure whether I want to.... but any film with Penelope Cruz is worth a peek

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: US remakes

        Vanilla Sky

        Shockingly with Tom Cruise is actually quite watcheable.

        1. John 62

          Re: US remakes

          yeah, I thought Vanilla Sky was quite well made. Probably wouldn't watch it again, though as the ending was too badly handled for my tastes.

  54. Oor Nonny-Muss

    Jack Frost.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jack-Frost-DVD-Michael-Keaton/dp/B00004CZXV for the avoidance of doubt. It represents the one time I have ever had to give a film more out of 10 than I wanted to. I wanted to give it -5, the site I was reviewing for only allowed 1-10...

    As further support of how crappy it is - I gave it to my parents when they got a DVD player... they gave it back to me as a "gift" for my birthday. I gave it to them for their wedding anniversary. They returned it as a Christmas "gift". Even charity shops reject it!

    1. Daniel B.

      This one's improved if you swap it out for the OTHER Jack Frost... The one with a killer snowman!

  55. TheProf

    Batman & Robin

    After sitting through hours of this shiteness I looked at my watch and discovered that only 10 minutes had passed since the film started. Or it could have been Batman Forever. Put them both in just to be on the safe side.

    Oh, and Napoleon Dynamite.

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    just about...

    ..anything from The Asylum Enough there for an entire top 10.. but lets just settle for Mega Piranha where scientists decide that the best fish to use in experiments to grow giant fish (to help alleviate food shortages) are piranhas....

    Anon for obvious reasons

    1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      Re: just about...

      I think the "No Troma films" rule should apply to these too: The Asylum has even gone on record to point out that they made a deliberate choice to produce cheesy movies.

      Even so, I do have a soft spot for anyone who can, hand on heart, hear a pitch for a movie like "Megashark vs. Giant Octopus" and say, "Wait: did you say that the giant shark jumps out of the sea for absolutely no reason at all to take a big bite out of a jetliner flying above the clouds? That's... that's BRILLIANT!"

      And they were right: it's an exceptionally silly movie. Frankly, if you watch a movie with a name like "Sharktopus", you can't really complain that it lacks elements of good movies that it never claimed to have in the first place.

      Cheese is itself an art form. I suspect The Asylum's TV movies will gain some serious cult followings in the years to come. They're so bad, they go out the other side and become watchable for the ridiculous premises, the pathetic effects and—possibly deliberate—bullshit "science" exposition sequences. Some of them are actually quite decently scripted all things considered—they often have fewer plot holes than certain big-budget blockbusters I could mention.

      I can't get enough of them, me.

      My nomination for "worst movie ever" goes to... "U571". Not only because it was a massive slap in the face to the original (British!) submarine crew who actually did that for real, but because it's not as if there was a shortage of research material available on the subject at the time. So the producers and director clearly made a deliberate decision to fuck up such a crucial, foundational element of the story.

      (Part of me would like to put "Independence Day" on the list too for its dire script, but, to be honest, I do enjoy watching the kind of over-the-top video game cut-scenes full of special effects set-pieces that his films are full of. I'm a fan of most of Gerry Anderson's oeuvre for much the same reason: if there's lots of shit being blown up, I'm there! Calling me "shallow" is an insult to puddles.)

  57. Lockwood

    Not seen it, but...

    Isn't Plan 9 From Outer Space often considered The Worst Movie Of All Time?

    1. Flatpackhamster

      Re: Not seen it, but...

      Only by people who haven't watched Aztec Rex.

  58. Jon Double Nice

    My nominations:

    Donnie Darko - and ANYTHING with ANYBODY named Gyllenhaal in it.

    The Bourne Merm - and anything involving Matt Damon or that other guy, the one that went out with jenny from the block. They're pretty interchangeable. If it was Matt Damon that went out with Jenny from the block then you know, the other one.

    Transformers?

    Happy Go Lucky = What The Flip?

    Blair Witch Meh.

    But, the absolute worst films ever made are the Lord of Teh Rings trilogy, face facts, they are clown shoes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 'LOTR'

      My god, I'm agreeing with lots of people today.

      'LOTR' - just mediocre. Another big budget trilogy that's not much cop (and I expect some people may disagree with me) - Star Wars. The first one was a reasonable enough space western with state of the art (for the time) special effects. But it was shallow - not the life-changing event it's now being spun as.

    2. Pete Spicer

      Re: My nominations:

      You must have hated The Dark Knight then, Maggie Gyllenhaal was quite important in that one.

    3. James Micallef Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: My nominations:

      The Bourne Identity: Take a fantastic book with loads of depth and detail, completely strip out the main villain, most of the plot, all the psychological nuance and thriller bits, and just leave the basic premise and a bunch of action scenes barely hanging together by a scrap of script. Very Poor and very disappointing (although by no means close to the worst film ever)

  59. Peter Simpson 1
    Thumb Down

    Anything with the number 2 in the title

    JAWS 2 for example

    1. Joefish
      WTF?

      Re: Anything with the number 2 in the title

      You can't count Jaws 2 when in the very same series there is the laughably atrocious

      Jaws 4: The Revenge.

      1. dogged

        Re: Anything with the number 2 in the title

        And there's always Godfather 2 to ruin your theory. It's brilliant.

        1. Petrea Mitchell
          Thumb Up

          Re: Anything with the number 2 in the title

          And Airplane 2!

    2. thenim

      Re: Anything with the number 2 in the title

      Terminator 2 - I think was very good...

    3. P. Lee Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Anything with the number 2 in the title

      I have to disagree: Naked Gun 2.5 - The Smell Of Fear

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

  60. Jim Carter

    How about

    Ilse, She-Wolf of the SS?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How about

      It's pretty bad, it's now available in the UK after being banned for years

  61. SYNTAX__ERROR
    FAIL

    Two that come to mind

    National Treasure (well the franchise really) - Suitably showcasing Nicolas Cage's complete lack of talent alongside suspension of disbelief-busting plot lines.

    Piranha 3D - seriously, I can't even believe this made it to Blu-Ray. Usually I manage to finish even the blandest movies.

  62. Mr Young
    Thumb Up

    Battlefield Earth gets my vote!

    I've no taste at all and even I couldn't watch all of it

  63. yellowlawn
    Devil

    What about the Beniffer 2003 classic: Gigli

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299930/

    Or Pitch Black the only free film I have attended were half the audience got up and left after the first 20 minutes.

    Anything with Vin 'Wooden Actor' Diesel in or similarly any film made by Michael 'I can massacre this perfectly good franchise' Bay

  64. Thecowking
    Devil

    Devil

    M Night Shylalllalalalalalalalaman's work about the forces of evil and how they relate to lift maintenance.

    I couldn't stop watching because I had finally found a film worse than Highlander Source. If you have not seen this film, do not. you gain nothing by doing so.

    At least the icon is appropriate.

  65. Fred M

    Citizen Kane

    I know it's often voted one of the best film ever made so I watched it. At least I tried. I gave up waiting for something to happen after the first hour.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fat Guy Goes Nurtzoid.

    AKA: Zeisters

    Easily the worst film I've ever seen and I'm an avid Mystery Science Theatre fan.

  67. A_Crane

    Speed 2 Cruise Control

    Why is the boat still moving?

    Why is the boat still moving?

    Why is the boat still moving?

    Why is the boat still moving?

  68. Bishop Joey
    Thumb Down

    I feel ever so blessed....

    ...that I haven't seen so many of these films, but quite surprised no one's nominated Tomb Raider. (I hear the sequel was worse, but didn't bother.) I saw it with friends in the theater and we laughed we cried and kissed 8 bucks goodbye. I thought that was the end of it, but no. 3 months later I'm with other friends for a movie night and with a stack of ten or eleven dvds to choose from, enough people said Tomb Raider that I had to sit through it again. They didn't believe or trust me when I said, 'no, really - it's 2 hours of my life I'll never have back.' 11 years later, it's still four hours I'll never have back.

    Mind you, I quite enjoyed both Love and Human Remains and The Fountain. All of our tastes are suspect.

  69. Gio
    Pirate

    One for all - maybe not!!

    The latest version of "The Three Musketeers"

  70. BenM 29

    Skyline

    Skyline - I still want 90 minutes of my life back, even now, after seeing it!

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've never heard of that!

    I would think the worst film made never made it into the cinema. Or if that is being too pedantic then perhaps we should at least acknowledge that the truly worst film ever would have disappeared without trace fairly quickly and not many people will have heard of it. Perhaps "Worst Blockbuster Film" would be a more appropriate title, however you'll have to assume that it is only a blockbuster by way of people queuing to get away from it.

    You could just looking at every films box office takings and whichever took least can be assumed to be the worst. Or are we trying to decide which film duped the most of us into actually watching it? In which case look at all sequels ever (the first had to be at least ok for a sequel to be made) and whichever took the least takings will be the worst.

    Anonymous because all opinions are rubbish, including this one.

  72. Brian Wright

    Worst! Film! Ever!

    especially for IT geeks, must be Hawk the Slayer

  73. mgtrock
    Thumb Down

    Halle Berry's Catwoman..... nothing more needs saying.

  74. billium
    FAIL

    Hancock an ego trip for Mr Smith, I suffered it one Christmast whilst visiting relatives.

    But the Americans produce so many films, that many are utter crap.

    1. Gazareth

      Shame, those that left missed out - it's a slow starter but the film improves immensely.

    2. Audrey S. Thackeray

      Re: Worst! Film! Ever!

      Saw 'Hawk the Slayer' when I was a kid (in a double header with either 'Damnation Alley' (which might be another candidate) or 'Saturn 3' (which most certainly wouldn't) and absolutely loved it.

      Hankered after it for years and was so excited when finally catching it on VHS only to be gutted when it turned out to be complete cack.

    3. Cpt Blue Bear

      Re: Worst! Film! Ever!

      "I once punched a man in the face for saying that Hawk the Slayer was rubbish"

      1. Minophis

        Re: Worst! Film! Ever!

        Good for you you but what you should have done was said 'Dad, you're right, but let's give Krull a try and we'll discuss it later. '.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Halle Berry's Ursula Andreas rip off

    5. dogged
      Stop

      Re: Citizen Kane

      Citizen Kane doesn't really count. That's like comparing cuniform tablets to Umberto Eco. Orson Welles pretty much invented modern film-making techniques with that one and all the stuff that bores you was astonishingly revolutionary when it was first done.

      Is it old hat and boring as all hell now? Sure. But without it, all cinema would be shit.

    6. MJI Silver badge

      Pitch Black

      Great film - it had a Farscape actress (Claudia Black) in a minor role.

      Low budget and better for it.

      As to Vin Diesel - I remember someone having a go at inventing back story for him saying he was related to Rudolph (THE Diesel) but it was foiled by being a stage name.

    7. MJI Silver badge

      Manoj Night Shysomething

      First few films were good - then they plummeted.

      Unbreakable is my favourite of his.

  75. Armando 123
    Windows

    Manos: the Hands of Fate

    If I told it opened with 9 minutes of driving scenes in West Texas, was written, produced, and directed by an El Paso fertilizer salesman (who also starred in it), had long periods of no acting or dialogue or sense, and implied paedophilia at the end, you still have no idea how bad this film is. Even Mystery Science Theatre 3000 couldn't do anything with it. Even "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", trying to be bad, couldn't get anywhere near this bad.

    It could only have been worse if Adam Sandler had been in it. And barely.

    1. Michael Hawkes
      Pint

      Re: Manos: the Hands of Fate

      It wasn't that bad. It has women in negligees having catfights, and a guy who looks a lot like Arthur Brown.

    2. Dan Caugherty
      WTF?

      Re: Manos: the Hands of Fate

      Actually, I thought it was one of MST's funniest episodes ever. My face hurt from laughing so much.

      1. Petrea Mitchell
        Go

        Re: Manos: the Hands of Fate

        Oh, it was one of the funniest episodes ever. But they found movies that were way worse than that in later seasons...

        As Tom Servo said a few movies later, "Boy, just when you think you've seen the worst movie ever made, along comes the worst movie ever made!"

        1. Dan Caugherty
          Thumb Up

          Re: Manos: the Hands of Fate

          Wait a minute.. you wouldn't be the Petrea Mitchell who contributed to the MST3K fan pages back in the day, would you? [Bows appropriately]

          1. Petrea Mitchell
            Happy

            Re: Manos: the Hands of Fate

            Oh no, my nefarious past is catching up with me!

            Yes, all right, that's me. :-)

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So many

    Dances with Wolves - unmitigated shite

    The Post Man - Sentimental old bollocks

    Robin Hood - 2010 version, though the Prince of Thieves is drivel

    Alien Vs Predator 1 & 2 - cashing in on the franchise

    Terminator Salvation - A travesty

    Remake of The Italian Job

    Remake of The day the Earth Stood Still

    Remake of the War of the Worlds

    Cloverfield - appalling

    1. Audrey S. Thackeray

      Re: So many

      Cloverfield was interesting. Not the plot but the presentation - the non-hero(es) and the slice through the bigger drama.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So many

      I'd agree on all of those, except Dances with Wolves, I liked that.

      One of the first 3h films that showed audiences had a longer that 90min attention span.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: So many

        You make an excellent point, but Dances with Wolves wasn't the film to do it with. Hitchcock got it right when he said that the length of a film should be in direct proportion the length of endurance to the human bladder.

        It's a miss quote, but you get the idea. The film was taking the piss long before I needed one!

  77. Cazzo Enorme

    Worst film ever made?

    Zardoz. Absolutely no redeeming features. It's so mind numbingly awful that it goes beyond being so bad that it's worth watching for a laugh.

    1. jef_

      Re: Worst film ever made?

      I find Charlotte Rampling a highly redeeming feature.

    2. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Re: Worst film ever made?

      It's a movie you have to watch for yourself to fully appreciate. It immediately jumps the shark with that opening monologue from the big giant head. It's so bad you can't turn away and you've got to watch the rest of it out of demented morbid curiosity if nothing else.

  78. The Cube
    Pirate

    You can't leave out Michael Caine's crime

    Little Voice

    An unspeakable act which should be used by the American Torturers at Guantanemo Bay to make the prisoners talk. "Tell us where the dirty bomb is or we turn the sound back up on Little Voice"

    I know Mr Caine is responsible for some great films but nothing he does can ever remove the stain of Little Voice from his history or my memory.

  79. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

    I thoroughly enjoyed it, as I think it wraps around and becomes funny again. It includes on of the best "science" scenes I've ever seen.

  80. stuartrc

    Taxi - the remake set in NYC

    Clerks 2 - Kevin, what happened?

    Troy

  81. paulll

    Gregg Araki's, "Doom Generation." Could fill pages and pages on how awful it is.

  82. Sulehir
    Facepalm

    Avatar: the last airbender

    a wonderful quirky show destroyed by M night

  83. Saint Sound
    Alien

    Serenity

    Utter tedium! Made worse by the high level of fanboys in the cinema and the cult following online. If the TV show was good it wouldn't have been cancelled. Get that into your nerdy skull!

  84. Daniel Grout
    Meh

    How has no-one mentioned...

    Mac and Me!

    The worst film ever produced by far.

    Effectively a very long advert for McDonalds, Coke and Skittles. The McDonalds dance off is a wonder to behold.

  85. Ironclad
    Thumb Down

    Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

    Many many years ago at a sci-fi convention in Cardiff I sat through this drivel at about 3am in the morning.

    Even drunk and sleep deprived it's sheer awfulness left a lasting impression.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/

  86. Ben Harris
    Facepalm

    Shark Zone - 2.8 on IMDB. The combination of jumping out a helicopter into the sea 100 yards from the the beach, the talking underwater whilst having scuba gear clamped between teeth and no sign of any radio gear and then when the shark roared like a lion, all within the first 5 minutes means this must be a clear candidate for this award. I turned it off after this - no idea what the rest of the film was like!

  87. Some Call Me Tim
    Unhappy

    Depressing Drivel

    I propose all of the grim excuse for films directed by the miserable Ken Loach. What a complete waste of good celluloid. The world would be a much happier place if he'd never got anywhere near a camera. http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/unhappy_32.png

  88. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blood Tracks is the worst film I've seen

  89. Eddie Edwards
    Unhappy

    Matrix Revolutions

    Matrix Revolutions is surely one of the worst films ever made.

  90. Dan Thomas
    Devil

    There's bad... then there is truly awful...

    I get the feeling that some of you guys haven't seen truly awful movies...

    Never watch Cthulu Mansion: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100108/

    or High Crusade: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110024/

    And no-one mentioned Surf Nazis Must Die!: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094077/

  91. TeaLeaf

    My Vote...

    is for 'Call Me Mrs. Miracle'. I really like Jewel Staite, but it seems like they sent the writer to cliche school, then overdosed her on every sweetener in existence before letting her loose on the script. 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' I could at least sit through, not 'Call Me Mrs. Miracle'.

  92. Suricou Raven

    Easy. Titanic: The Animated Musical.

    Titanic: The Animated Movie. I'd give it the title on these points:

    - Blatant ripoffs of Disney characters, plus one Bluth.

    - Painful music.

    - Really, really cheap animation.

    - Appalling voice acting.

    - Totally shameless reuse of shots, even to the point of reruning some shots more than ten times - and one four times consecutively.

    - Being so incredibly lazy that they only drew half of the night sky, then mirrored it across the frame centerline.

    - Giving Titanic a happy ending where no-one dies.

    And, best of all,

    - Insulting the memory of 1,570 people.

    1. Ty Cobb
      Megaphone

      Re: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

      The only redeeming scene in that pile of crap was where the Shark ate the jetliner - and you see that in a trailer so you don't have to see the damn thing

    2. sisk Silver badge

      I believe the title was just 'The Last Airbender', so as not to be confused with Avatar since they came out relatively close together.

      At any rate, I got the impression that Night hadn't even bothered watching a few episodes before he started making the movie.

      1. I think so I am?
        Unhappy

        Didnt help ..

        ....that they also left out the best character toff a blind earth bender -

    3. Joefish
      Meh

      You know, that US Taxi remake was on telly last night

      And I actually watched it. It really wasn't as bad as I expected. And to be honest Luc Besson went a bit 'out there' with the farcical police action, and then really lost his marbles in its sequels. To maintain those are preferable to a Hollywood remake is clutching at straws.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Serenity

      Coronation Street has been running for decades, so you must think that's one of the best shows ever.

      How about X-Factor, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity, are these all your favourite shows?

      The quality of a film, show has little to do with how long it lasts. Get that through your daft skull!

      1. I think so I am?
        Unhappy

        Re: Serenity

        firefly - 1 season -

    5. Nigel 11
      Meh

      Re: Depressing Drivel

      "Kes" was quite good. (Also one of his first, and they don't get better).

    6. Nigel 11

      Re: Easy. Titanic: The Animated Musical.

      You're pulling our legs. Aren't you? Please??

    7. Oldfogey
      Childcatcher

      Re: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

      There is a very good reason that I didn't see that at the Cardiff con in question - I had already seen it at a Glasgow con not long before.

      I watched it again recently to check if it was really that bad.

      It was.

      HO HO HO!

    8. sisk Silver badge

      Re: Serenity

      It was Fox. They have a long tradition of cancelling thier best shows, usually just as they're starting to gain a decent following. Meanwhile the shows on that network that should have been cancelled years ago just keep going and going and going. Don't ever make the mistake of judging the quality of a show on Fox by how long a run it got.

  93. TRT Silver badge

    Lost in Translation

    Oh, I've got to put something in this bit... I've nothing to say about this movie, which isn't a surprise as the movie had nothing to say.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lost in Translation

      Nothing to say?

      You don't derive any positive message from patronising put-downs of 'abroad' and wish fulfilment fantasies of glum jowly oldsters making it with sensitive but hot young chicks?

      Not to forget the inspirational notion that any rich, connected wannabe director can have a chance to make their very own Jim Jarmusch movie.

      1. TRT Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Lost in Translation

        @ fatsbrannigan.

        Thinking about it, I got the message that I was now 102 minutes closer to being a glum jowly oldster; a place where making it with a sensitive but hot young chick is firmly the preserve of Hollywood fantasyland.

    2. rjmx
      Pirate

      Re: Lost in Translation

      Worst movie ever made. Should have been called "Two Actors In Search Of A Plot".

  94. Feldspa

    The Last Airbender

    This is the most recent bad film I had the misfortune of watching.

  95. Gavin Jamie
    Childcatcher

    Mama Mia

    MrsJ got this out but even she could not stomach it. I don't mind musicals, I have even hummed along to Abba in the past but third rate singing and acting that made a chair look like John Guilgud was beyond the pale. Managed 30 mins.

  96. .Q
    Facepalm

    Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

    There is no need to say anything more.

  97. Dazed & Confused
    FAIL

    Samurai cop

    Watch this clip, and you'll be left in no doubt:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvni9KbZfoo

    (And yes, it's a real 'serious' film, and not meant to be a spoof.)

  98. ShavenMonkey
    FAIL

    Skyline

    Without any doubt, the worst movie ever made - worse acting and plot than any porno (and i've seen some bad ones), repeating like 20 minutes of the film at the beginning, and that scene with the black dude in the car getting stomped on? Wtf? I wanted to laugh, but I wasn't going to give it the satisfaction. It's one of the few films to actually make me feel angry. Hulk smash!

  99. Rob 5

    John Carpenter's Dark Star

    I still remember trying to watch this and giving up.

    I expected an SF film - instead it was 83 minutes of tedium and a frigging Space Hopper.

  100. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Repo! The Genetic Opera

    I was not capable of watching it continuously for more than fifteen minutes... My friend did not make it that far, but now I know how to easily get rid of him when the need arises.

  101. Dan Hall

    Battle Beyond the Stars

    Worst. Movie. Evar!

  102. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Naked lunch - boring and surreal at the same time may have to go and look at it again to make sure it's as bad as I though.

    1. Greg J Preece

      Re: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

      I think you missed the point of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Go watch the intro to the kids' cartoon series (yes, I am serious - yes, I watched it as a child). You'll get the idea.

    2. GettinSadda
      Alert

      Re: Samurai cop

      Why did you make me watch that - WHY?!?!?

    3. TonyHoyle

      Re: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

      Return of the killer tomatoes was comedy gold, though, that redeemed the original film.

      1. Dan Caugherty
        Thumb Up

        Re: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

        I wouldn't be so harsh with AofKT. I was a comedy that was really trying to be bad. Besides it had some funny moments (the sheet music scene).

        And, any work that points out that Donny Osmond's work was mostly crap needs a thumbs-up.

    4. TRT Silver badge

      Re: John Carpenter's Dark Star

      This is one of the greatest films of all time. Without this film, there would be no Alien.

    5. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Re: Battle Beyond the Stars

      Battle Beyond the Stars? Worst? No. You have forgotten about Star Crash.

      ...and I am sure you will curse me for reminding you about it too.

    6. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Re: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

      Doesn't this violate the No Troma exception.

    7. Nigel 11

      Re: John Carpenter's Dark Star

      It was complete genius. Sure, the special effects, er, weren't. But it was made on a budget that wasn't so much a shoestring as a single thread of silk too short to make anything with. Except that he did. Sure, you have to turn the spacehopper into an alien in your imagination, but that's not so hard.

      The whole thing was a pitch for a chance at a big budget, that worked. Except, I prefer "Dark Star"!

    8. Jean-Luc Silver badge

      Re: John Carpenter's Dark Star

      Let there be light...

    9. DAN*tastik
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Repo! The Genetic Opera

      I actually liked it... But then, again, I like everything she's in...

  103. Frank Butcher
    Facepalm

    sIMPLY THIS

    Aztec Rex ... not even worth 700mb's of bandwidth ..

    Not even Bad enough to be Good.

    Avatar .. quite Good

    Igby .. Bad

    Green Latern .. Cheesy

    WIll look out for troma film's

    Also how about RAMBO (1, 2. 3 or 4)

    And GAme of Death with BruceLee looked like it might have truly awful.

    Mong the merciless!

    1. DocWilson

      The Langoliers

      Simply dreadful adaptation of a Stephen King short story (from the same collection as The Shawshank Redemption, if memory serves me correctly, which makes it rather ironic!)

      Please, don't watch it to verify my opinion of it, you'll never get those hours of your life back!

      1. Munchausen By Taxi

        Re: The Langoliers

        Hey, for a made for TV movie, is wasn't too bad. And, y'know. James Woods.

        1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

          Re: The Langoliers

          Nope - "that's a so bad it's good" film. Last seen at 2am after a bout of insomnia...

          1. Greg J Preece

            Re: The Langoliers

            "I have a meeting in Boston AT NINE O CLOCK SHARP!"

      2. Brother52

        Re: The Langoliers

        It wasn't from the same collection as Shawshank, that came from Different Seasons, the langoliers was in four past midnight

    2. Audrey S. Thackeray

      Re: sIMPLY THIS

      The first Rambo film was good in parts.

      1. James Micallef Silver badge

        Re: sIMPLY THIS

        The first Rambo was excellent from start to end. the sequels on teh other hand were not up to scratch, but by no means 'worst film ever' material

  104. Ty Cobb
    WTF?

    I thought Vanilla Sky and A Time to Kill were tied for worst until I saw

    Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus starring, ugh, Debbie Gibson

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1350498/

  105. Greg J Preece
    Mushroom

    TERMINATOR PISSFUCKING THREE!

    If you read the previous comment thread, you saw this coming.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: TERMINATOR PISSFUCKING THREE!

      Sorry, but in a universe also containing Terminator: Salvation, you can't use the word worst about Terminator 3...

      1. Greg J Preece

        Re: TERMINATOR PISSFUCKING THREE!

        I honestly don't get why people thought T4 was worse. It was still shite, but compared to the utter travesty of T3?

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: TERMINATOR PISSFUCKING THREE!

          I didn't mind Terminator 3. It wasn't good, but I wasn't bored, and wanting to gnaw my own legs off, just for the distraction. T3 had a few fun moments, and I liked the 'upbeat' ending. It's just mediocre.

          The only time that I've even got close to being as bored in a cinema to sitting through T4, was when a mate insisted we see Eraser ('classic' 90s Arnie) - after his birthday curry and several pints. Our entire row fell asleep after about 25 minutes, all except poor me, who can't sleep in a seat.

          Just imagine if T3 hadn't existed? You'd have gone into T4, expecting it to be good, and rather than just pissing on your dreams (as T3 did), T4 would have taken a flying leap from a trampoline, done a triple somersault, and then flung a large, malodorous turd upon your dreams, from a great height.

          It would be as terrible as if someone like Mel Gibson, would have taken a classic like 'Edge of Darkness', gutted it of all its drama, character, wit and acting talent, and then remade it as a film set in America. And that's a laughably ludicrous idea. No-one would be that stupid!

  106. Daniel B.

    I'll nominate:

    Pootie Tang

    American Cyborg: Steel Warrior

    Manos: The Hands of Fate

    I think the other bad movies were so bad, my brain erased them from existance.

  107. thesykes

    hmmmm

    the worrying thing is ... I have a few of those mentioned sitting on the Sky+ box, ready for me to enjoy... I'm actually looking forward to seeing some on them even more, just to see if they really are that bad.

    My nomination... the first 30 minutes of Twilight... I gave up after that... and possibly Blair Witch... maybe it isn't that bad, but after all the hype that preceded me watching it, I was seriuosly underwhelmed.

    Oh, and Into The Wild.

    And The Ghost (not Ghost, never seen that).

  108. Minophis
    Unhappy

    Highlander: The Source

    Watching this was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

  109. jef_

    Another call for Avatar

    Just awful. Patronising and crass. C'mon, let me vote for it.

    Anyone see The Idaho Transfer? That's my most recent sh!te film.

  110. Stuart Castle

    Three for me.

    In order of release:

    The Grifters: Badly written story with unbelievably unlikeable (and badly written) characters that were badly acted. And I normally like this style of film.

    Se7en: Good first half, then becomes totally predictable. I actually predicted the ending halfway through my first viewing. I can't believe anyone didn't.

    Avatar: Looks pretty. Sounds good. Good use of 3d. However, it could lose about 2 hours of footage without losing any actual story. Bought the blu ray to see if my opinion was affected by the fact that the power failed for 40 minutes in the middle of the film when I saw it at the IMAX, and they locked us in. It wasn't. Watched the blu ray once, and haven't been tempted to again.

    An honourable mention should go to anything directed or written by (apart from Toy Story) M Night Shymalan. I kept watching his films for a while to see if they improved, but he cannot (IMO) write believable characters.

  111. fixit_f
    FAIL

    D.A.R.Y.L

    Watched it a few weeks ago, what a pile of shit.

  112. system11
    Meh

    Charlie's Angels 2.

    I have an incredibly high tolerance for bad films, but this one was terrible enough in the first 15 minutes to get me to turn it off. I can't even think of another film I can remember turning off before the end.

    1. Cpt Blue Bear

      Charlie's Angels!

      Dear God! I haven't seen the sequel but the first has to be a candidate. It's so bad that if I never see Cameron Diaz's arse, Drew Barrymore's tits or any of Lucy Lu again it will be a million years too soon. Bill Murray phoned his performance in (from an all night bar by the look). Fortunately, I saw it on a free ticket or I'd have been really pissed.

      1. Minophis

        Re: Charlie's Angels!

        You're nominating Charlie's Angels for the worst film ever made!

        Clearly you haven't seen Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle

  113. Notas Badoff Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Blind me! Blind me NOW!

    Nightfall (1988)

    Billed as "The greatest science-fiction story ever told", yes, it was, really, but then it was *filmed* by... I have not the words sufficiently maleficent.

    Walking out witnessed one fellow surrounded by 4 of his recently ex-friends whining "sorry guys..."

    BTW: large birds pecking out the eyes of a living person might stroke some viewers' happy place, but most of us were pleading for pain-alleviating blindness much before that scene.

    1. Daniel B.

      Re: Blind me! Blind me NOW!

      And this is one of those movies my brain had deleted from memory. Yes, most of what I remember from that one was the eye pecking scene. GROSS.

  114. Mike Richards Silver badge

    'War of the Worlds'

    The Spieberg version

    For numerous crimes including:

    Starring Tom Cruise trying to be all serious

    Regulation voice of god voiceover by Morgan Freeman

    Setting it in modern America for no very good reason at all

    Reusing a perfectly good scene from 'Jurassic Park' but with worse effects

    Where no soldier dies on screen despite losing all the battles

    The most slappable child actor in history (the boy)

    Dakota 'MY EARS!' Fanning for two hours of dialogue that can be summarised as 'AAAAAAAAAAAAH"

    A bloody horrible movie from start to its very protracted ending.

    1. Daniel B.

      Oh the irony

      The Tom Cruise one was much closer to the book than the original... But then Spielberg had to stick that damn annoying girl...

  115. Minophis
    Devil

    Femme Fontaine - Keller Babe For The CIA

    Teenage Cat Girls In Heat

    Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town

  116. Dan Caugherty
    Mushroom

    Manos, the Hands of Fate - or - Monster A Go Go

    Another MST3K fan chiming in for Manos, the film that answers the question: "What kind of horror film would a west Texas fertilizer salesman make?"

    The answer: A really really bad one.

    What blew my mind about the film was not just that it was so awful (and such ripe MST3K material). It was that, yes, an entire hour of footage was deleted by the MST crew in order for it to be shown. (Yes, the consarned thing runs for over 2 hours.)

    And Monster A Go Go is just pathetic tedium from start to finish. Also jaw-droppingly terrible.

  117. Joefish
    Alien

    Skipping ones already mentioned (Jaws 4, Moulin Rouge):

    Broken Flowers - truly skin-crawling stuff.

    Blair Witch Project - how quickly we forget.

  118. NickT666

    The Roller Blade Seven

    All of the above are cinematoc gold compared to the experience that is "The Roller Bade Seven". Honestly, you've got to see this to believe it. It's so utterly shocking that my girlfirend actually had a row with me about making her watch it and stormed off. Don't get me wrong, I like crappy B Movies, but at best this is a despicable excuse for a film. The main gang dont wear roller blades, and there arent seven of them. By far and away the worst film I've ever seen, and I've seen such gems as "Surf Nazi's Must Die", "Vampires vs. Zombies" and "The Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" (yes, really) ...... Watch it if you dare - they even made two sequels!!!

    1. Red Bren
      Paris Hilton

      Re: The Roller Blade Seven

      You got yourself a username just to mention this film!

      We only rented it because of the (lack of) costumes the actresses were (not) wearing...

  119. Bodhi

    Romi and Michelle's High School Reunion. A pathetic vehicle for the unfunny one from Friends to be.....the unfunny one from Friends.

    Dishonourable mention to Indy and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (for obvious reasons).

  120. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really really bad!

    "Zombie Strippers" with a title like that you KNOW it's gonna be pretty bad. but this turkey exceeded all expectations for stupid plot, idiotic dialogue and abysmal acting, if ti wasn't for the nudity I wouldn't have survived the first reel.

    If you do feel the need to watch this first ensure you are too drunk or stoned to inflict violence on your viewing equipment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Really really bad!

      That film is amazing! (for all the wrong reasons).

      I particularly liked the attempts at social commentary. I watched the DVD extras (I borrowed it, I promise) and thought it was hysterical how the cast all seemed to think it was a serious work of art (either that or they are spectacularly good actors, but felt the need to hide it for the main feature).

  121. Ikoth

    Hell Comes To FrogTown

    Unspeakably bad.

  122. cliveski

    Hmmmm...

    I vote:

    Little Miss Sunshine

    The Secret of my Success

    Uncle Buck

    The Phantom Menace

    Fargo

  123. Marty
    Coat

    OMG, the list is endless of films that can qualify for the worst film ever...

    you could categorise them for why they failed.... for example Jaws 3 & 4, some of the WORST special effects ever... so bad it makes the entire film a joke.... Jaws 1 is still one of the greatest films ever.

    then you have got a movie like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, It tried so hard, but the original was such a classic that a remake had a hard job to live up to, it was only ever going to be terrible to a fan of the original.. so you can make a collection of bad remakes, or remakes that never should have been made.

    then you have got the moveis that just self indulgent twaddle... eyes wide shut, I am looking at you...

    then you can look at the ones that are poor because the budget wasn't there to make it good, I can think of a few movies that the script was good, but the poor acting and crappy filming made it bad, imagine a film like "the usual suspects" take out hte incredible line up of actors and replace them with your typical "b" movie cast. imagine how crap it would be if you had Barry Williams play Verbal Kint and Jamie Kennedy as Dean Keaton? imagine If they made the godfather movies with Tony Danza instead of Al,

    again, some movies can be made bad by throwing money and hollywood at it... Take Mad Max for instance. Austrailian movies have never really been taken seriously, but the original Mad max movie was in a class by itself. Mad Max 2, followed on quite well, but ffs, beyond thunderdome, with all the backing of hollywood, that polished all the grit out of it and made it possibly one of the worst movies ever...

    you have a bunch of movies, supposed to be based on historic events but bend the facts so bad that the truth becomes an out and out lie... you have a movie like U571, that Hollywood will have you believe it was because of the yanks the enigma machine was cracked. Not even a nod to Alan Turing or Bletchley park was made...Take a look at pearl harbour, so many historical inaccuracies totally destroy the authenticity of it all, add to that the movie Titanic for the same reasons..

    too much meddeling... look at the starwars franchise. back in the day, gotta be one of the all time best films. until george lucas went back and started "fixing" things to how he originally intended. fair enough, once... but there has to be 4 or 5 revisions now... LEAVE IT ALONE. and please let me try to forget "the phantom menace"...

    so, the worst move ever has to combine, crap script, both not enough and too much budget, crap acting, scrap camera work, crap editing, crap continuity.... it needs all of the above to make an improvement,,,

    for my worst movie ever, my vote goes big time to Mega Piranha ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1587807/ )

    they didn't have enough budget for a good cast, but had enough that they splashed out on some expensive looking animatronics, but ran out of cash for the CGI... The script was so cheesy, you could smell it... the camera work was as wobbly as the script.. It was so bad it went past funny to painful to watch...

    I'll get my coat, because something stinks around here...

    1. cliveski

      Re: Hmmmm...

      Not to mention:

      Nacho Libre

      Sahara

    2. Audrey S. Thackeray

      Re: Hmmmm...

      If you didn't have 'The Phantom Menace' in there I might think you'd misunderstood the question.

      And even that is good fun for kids - or so my colleagues who are 'blessed' with offspring inform me.

      1. Drewc Gold badge

        I have children

        And they hate the Phantom Menace.

      2. cliveski
        Happy

        Re: Hmmmm...

        "If you didn't have 'The Phantom Menace' in there I might think you'd misunderstood the question."

        No, I just have weird ideas of what makes a good film I guess! Those are all movies I had to stop watching after 20 mins (with the exception of Secret of My Success for nostalgic reasons!). I have enjoyed far worse films - "Brother Where Art Thou" and "Withnail and I" are two of my faves for instance :-)

    3. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      @Marty:

      "then you have got a movie like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, It tried so hard, but the original was such a classic that a remake had a hard job to live up to"

      Er, no it didn't. All it had to do was bear more resemblance to the book than that godawful Technicolor version. That saccharine "Disney Lite" 1970s excrescence was an insult to both the eyes and the intelligence.

      The remake was a lot closer to Roald Dahl's original book, which, like all fairy tales, was supposed to be dark and twisted! About the only thing Tim Burton added was the 'flags of nations' gag and the Willy Wonka back-story with his dentist father. It makes the character more likeable. Tim Burton and Roald Dahl were a very good fit.

      (I could have done without Johnny Depp playing Wonka though. He doesn't have much range as an actor.)

      1. dogged

        Re: @Marty:

        Johnny Depp's Wonka came across as a real child molester. It was just unpleasant.

    4. dogged

      Re: Hmmmm...

      Hey!

      The Secret of My Success has Helen Slater in it and is therefore exempt from all criticism.

      Oh, that 80's schoolboy crush...

  124. Skizz
    Devil

    My nomination...

    "Sex Lives of the Potato Men"

    I did watch it all. But only in the hope that there might be some redeeming scene that made it all worth the torment. There wasn't. Started low, went downhill rapidly from there.

  125. Munchausen By Taxi

    How about...

    Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.

    Yes, I did watch it and it was dreadful.

    Even Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas couldn't save that pile of poo.

  126. CynicalOptimist

    Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man

  127. naeem
    Boffin

    recently..

    has to be the Thunderbirds film..had to leave the cinema after 20 minutes - it was actually hurting my brain to sit there and watch it,

    in general - anything by the clueless and talentless Adam Sandler - someone please stop him making fillms.

  128. Nick Davey
    Thumb Up

    I nominate

    Fallen - a movie that is rendered completely pointless by the end... I'm actually ashamed that I didn't walk out of the theatre. Skyline has been mentioned, that was awful. Pathfinder with Karl Urban is the worst thing I've ever seen him in.

  129. x3mxs
    FAIL

    Space Balls 2

    That was a real con!!

    The posters outside had Rick Moranis dressed in a Vader-like uniform same as the 1st movie, but once the film started was a crappy high school crap thing!!!

    I walked off the cinema 20 mins in!

  130. Jon Whiteoak
    Thumb Down

    Tom Cruise

    Two Tom Cruise films, Interview With The Vampire and Vanilla Sky.

  131. Richard 45
    Mushroom

    Well, you did ask

    Anything that Channel 5 broadcast. Other than that, in increasing order of crappiness:

    Remake of The Italian Job (Mr Napster jumps in front of the camera, blows a raspberry straight down the camera, then hops off again). Utter drivel.

    Remake of War of the Worlds.

    51st State (completely taken up by Samuel L. Jackson wondering how the hell he got himself into such a god-awful film)

    Human Traffic (billed as "the last great British film of the 90s" - it wasn't)

    The the absolute star, possibly *the* worst film I've ever suffered is a Canadian Sci-fi film, so you can probably guess how bad it is. Earth Storm http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0491764/

    They didn't even bother to simulate zero G for the space shuttle, nor invent artificial gravity. The inside of the shuttle looked like someone's shed, probably because it actually was someone's shed. Sci-fi without any shred of science. Acting straight of the Ikea Academy of Undramatic Art. Plot holes bigger than the Grand Canyon.

    1. Munchausen By Taxi

      Re: Well, you did ask

      The War of the Worlds remake was pretty good, as long as you miss the first ten minutes, watch the next half hour and then miss the rest of the film.

    2. ArkhamNative

      Re: Well, you did ask

      Earthstorm is one of those, you know, "SyFy Original Movie" films. They really are absolutely ire-inspiring.

  132. Alan Esworthy

    Abysmal

    "She Freak" from 1967. Burn every copy. Before viewing.

    I'd like to think some of the cast/crew paid the producer to be omitted from the credits.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062259/

  133. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Gabriel

    Dark (they could not afford lights), dull and depressing.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0857376/

  134. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    * Impossible Mission 1, 2, etc (bugger all relation to the series)

    * Gor - 1 and 2, somehow the 2nd was worse, not sure how - must have been through just reusing clips from the first film. So bad they're almost good.

    * Star Wars Episode I, II and III.

    * Twighlight (1, 2 and 3) - just used "special power" crutches for plot and 2 and 3 are nothing more than remakes of number 1 with pretty much the same "plot"

    * Animals United - a host of "stars" were utterly unable to rescue this

    * Titanic - it sinks, end of film, done with the whiny singing and wooden acting yet?

    * Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - shits'n'giggles it's so bad with green lights and lockers to simulate a bridge on a ship / sub / etc.

    * The Chronicles of Riddick - at least Pitch Black made a little bit of sense, but this one was just conan remade in space. Badly.

    * Fast & Furious (all of them). They remade this? Why? But then could generally include anything starring Vin Diesel in this list...

    * The Patriot - but again, pretty much anything with Segal in it could be in this list as well

    * Stargate (1994) - dull, dull and just dumb. The series was better though

  135. Daniel B.

    The Doom Generation

    Someone made my brain recall this. I was fooled into believing this was either a Natural Born Killers type of movie, some corny reference to the Doom videogame or something like that. It isn't. The whole thing turns boring 20? 25? Minutes in and nevr really recovers.

    In fact, the ending *improves* the movie because at least something happens!

  136. Nexox Enigma

    This is easy

    "The Room" - try to avoid watching it without the Rifftrax audio commentary.

  137. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    Ah, yeah

    don't forget the Beethoven films (as in the St. Bernard).

    Howard the Duck

    Waterworld, which quite literally put me to sleep in the theater.

    The Piano

    1. Daniel von Asmuth Bronze badge
      FAIL

      The da Vinci treasure

      I rather liked 'Howard the Duck'.

      'The Da Vinci Treasure' is so lousy, it won't ever make a cult movie.

      see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810817/

  138. PTR

    Judge Dredd

    That was a right stinker!

  139. itzman

    I am torn between...

    ...The Sound of Music and The Parent Trap, as being the worst two films of my childhood.

    Though 'Oklahoma' was pretty awful too.

  140. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two nominations

    I like sc-fi horror and stuff that pokes fun at it's own genre, take Planet Terror as an example of how this can be done very well. But you have to trawl through a lot of rubbish to find the gems, two recent pieces of true awfulness; Hobo with a shotgun, which had not a single redeeming feature and Naked Nuns with Big Guns, which I expected to be bad but good but was in fact just terrible.

  141. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Sheltering Sky

    5 hours of sand with absolutely no point whatsoever

  142. mikelosaurus

    10 of the worst in no particular order:

    Battlefield Earth (Roger Christian, 2000)

    Alone in the Dark (Uwe Boll, 2005)

    The Messenger: Joan of Arc (Luc Besson, 1999)

    Highlander 2 (Russell Mulcahy, 1991)

    Catwoman (Pitof, 2004)

    Troll 2 (Claudio Fragasso, 1990)

    Gigli (Martin Brest, 2003)

    Space Marines (John Weidner 1997)

    Batman and Robin (Joel Schumacher, 1997)

    The Happening (M. Night Shyamalan, 2008)

  143. x3mxs
    Facepalm

    The Women!

    I just remembered this one!!!

    If you GF/wife brings back a DVD, run in the kitchen and poke your eyes out with a fork, you'll thank me for causing the least pain!!!!

    13% in rottentomatoes... and 13% too many in my opinion!!!

  144. Ian Reissmann

    worst film

    Titanic.

    I got to watch this at a charity event. After a meal we went to the cinema. At about 10:30 I realised the ship hadn't even started to sink and I realised I had a long way to go. The scene where they start shooting in the hold had me laughing out loud - I was waiting for a car chase to start.

    150 minutes of my life I'll never have back ...

  145. Kurashima
    FAIL

    Kevin Costner - The Postman

    Thats 2hrs of my life I will never get back.

    Post-apocalyptic films seem to follow the same pattern. During the apocalypse, the ability to write a coherent storyline , act , or provide "action" in an action movie are all lost to the nuclear blast.

  146. tony72

    Sucker Punch

    Nobody mentioned Sucker Punch? Is that because nobody here was dumb enough to watch it, or did you people actually like it? It may not be the absolute worst movie in history, but I'm pretty sure it's the worst per dollar spent making it.

  147. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worst Film ever

    Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

    Entire thing was filmed on one camera that could film up to 30 seconds of film, without audio.

    It was so bad, one of the girls who acted in it cried when she saw the movie.

    And a budget of $19,000. How can you go wrong?

    May not be the worst movie ever, but the worst I have seen.

    If you really need to watch it, get the MST3k version of it.

  148. Obvious to me...

    Little Miss Sunshine

    I have no idea why it got good reviews!

    1. Escape Velocity

      Re: Worst Film ever

      "If you really need to watch it, get the MST3k version of it."

      And make sure you pay attention only the riffing. It is seriously physically painful to watch this film. It actually hurts, not kidding. The equipment and cinemetography were that bad. The symptoms resemble what it would be like if forced to listen to the worst bits of compressed noise from the DVD audio track of 2001 for hours on end (DVD only... BD 2001 audio is awesome).

      Believe me, 2 hours of sand is a blessing compared to Manos.

      Very good advice AC. Also if you have ever breathed oxygen, Manos: The Hands of Fate should not be taken without first consulting your physician.

    2. R Cox

      Re: Worst Film ever

      i think any MST3K movie is out fo the running. Such movies are often made to be silly, or simply taken out of context. Some of the movies are sweet.

      To me a bad movie is one that was intended to be a serious contender, but ended up being bad. This is also why sequels are not really in the running. These movies are explicitly made to capitalize on a franchise. Such movies are by their nature bad. Take Die Hard sequels. The first was very defensible, the rest are about the money.

      Speaking of bruce willis, I would have to admit Hudson Hawk was bad, but it wasn't really meant to be good. There are any number of other movies with Willis, The Last Boy Scout, Surrogates, that are genuinely bad.

      I might say Battlefield Earth but I never saw it. So I will nominate Titanic, which, unfortunately, I did see.

  149. ArkhamNative
    Alien

    No TV Movies?

    Because "worst" easily could be any "original movie" made for the née SciFi Channel (now renamed to Syphilis or something).

    They hire a retired former TV/Sci-fi star, actors who look similar to recurring-role TV actors, and then hire "director" and crew from the local day laborer workforce. They're so bad that you really don't want to watch them to see how bad they really are. Honest. Not laughingly bad, but insultingly bad.

  150. The Brave Sir Robin
    Childcatcher

    Worst film...

    ... was definitely The Avengers (1998)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118661/

    Its like they never watched the TV shows.

    Utter rubbish.

  151. BossHog

    Birdemic - Shock and Terror

    Seriously, this is a really dreadful movie.

  152. Praggy

    The Day After Tomorrow

    The Day After Tomorrow must be up there.

    Or anything with Adam Sandler in obviously...

    1. TonyHoyle

      Re: No TV Movies?

      I suspect SyFi channel will need an entire category of its own.. It churns out bad movies on almost a daily basis.

    2. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: The Day After Tomorrow

      Seconded!

    3. Pooka

      Re: Birdemic - Shock and Terror

      6 pages.....

      Finally wondered when someone would post this stinker up. I nearly turned it off, even though I was watching the Rifftrax'd version :p

  153. Mike Bell

    Creepozoids (1987)

    It was so bad, part of my brain has firewalled itself off so that I'm not permanently tortured by its awfulness.

  154. Marty

    OMG

    So many bad movies....

    the thing I have to point out is that B movies should not count on this list, they were all made low budget with cheesy actors and ropey scripts just to make the main feature look even better.

    When you see a film title like "return of the surfer killer zombie pineapples form uranus" or "stop or my mom will shoot" then you know your not going to get a good movie.

    Megga piranha gets my vote, but Momma Mia has gotta give it a run for its money, it only comes second in my choice because Its not my sort of film anyway, so had some ground to make up in the first place.

    on a side note, a friend of mine, his wife loves the film so much she has wore out 2 dvd's and is on her 3rd copy. I suspect my mate is mutilating disks.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: OMG

      My wife likes Mamma Mia, we actually have it on BluRay.

      VERY Cheesy but not bad.

  155. TonyHoyle

    A.I.

    It had an interesting premise, completely ruined by seemingly being split into to completely different movies, and an good ending that happens 20 minutes before the second, totally stupid, ending.

  156. pctechxp

    Anything

    After Under Siege 2: Dark Territory with Steven Seagal in it.

  157. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rat Race

    Awful, awful, cringy, joke-free remake of 'It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world' (which wasn't that good either).

  158. Audrey S. Thackeray

    This Sherlock Holmes film

    Not the Downey Jr one which was good fun and well packaged but the 2010 no-budget version with a camp dwa.. midg.. little man with a squeaky voice in the lead role and a job lot of old Dr Who enemies and 1990 kids TV CGI effects including a miniature t-rex and a clockwork robot woman.

    I'm making it sound a lot better than it is.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Sherlock Holmes

      I think they have all been overshadowed by the BBC series

  159. James Micallef Silver badge

    I nominate....

    Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

    breathtakingly awful

    1. Oneil Stuart

      Re: I nominate....

      At this point (before I go through the rest of the comments) I have to add

      Sharktopus (2010)

  160. jubtastic1
    Stop

    The Happening

    Mother nature fights back, releasing fragrences designed to drive those pesky humans to overly elaborate suicides, our only hope is a cardboard cut out of Marky Mark, a science teacher that doesn't believe in science, will you survive a sledgehammer to your suspension of disbelief? No.

    Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead.

  161. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My nominations are.

    Highlander 2 (as are many.)

    Matrix 3. (what the hell were they thinking, Milk it, Milk it.)

    And all the other stupid as shit films my wife watches with her best mate, usually black and white, subtitled, on at the Clapham Picture house and stories about women who can't make their mind up about something, where nothing happens, or some woman realises that there's nothing actually wrong with her, and she's just a typical female neurotic. There's just so many of these, that they've all merged into one with all their tv counterparts. Let's call it "Celebrity dancing Betty Blue Beaches at the old green cafe on ice."

  162. Alex C

    The Adventures of Pluto Nash

    Salt

    The Mummy 3 - Tomb of the dragon wossname

    not mentioned cos the bad reviews mean I never saw them -

    Tom Cruise, War the Worlds

    Battlefield Earth

    quite a lot of the works of M Night Shalyman

    Most Adam Sandler Flicks

  163. micheal
    FAIL

    Aside the others

    No one here had to endure Open Water?

    Or for the Brit's, Paul McCartney's 1980's turkey "Give My Regards To Broad Street"

    Makes the Killer Tomato's and The Phantom Menace look like Oscar winning material

    1. Vic

      Re: Aside the others

      > No one here had to endure Open Water?

      I didn't see it - but it got quite a bit of discussion on the various diving fora I frequent.

      The general concensus was "what took the shark so bloody long?"

      Vic.

    2. thenim
      Devil

      Re: Aside the others

      ooh - brings back good memories - the film was utter shite* - but it was an empty cinema and me and gf (wife now) getting up to no good ...

      The bits I saw were - couple dive, couple left behind, couple eaten by sharks+

      + this bit is implied - totally disappointing..

  164. Petrea Mitchell
    Stop

    The Creeping Terror

    Courtesy of MST3K, this is easily the worst movie ever to (dis)grace my TV. Lousy plot, lousy production values, and the terror itself is basically a couple of people under a carpet.

  165. geejayoh
    Trollface

    There are so many many bad films

    Die Hard 4

    The fast and furious films

    Most things with Will Ferrell

    North

    Where the wild things are was just boring - jonze pissed all over that one

    Spiderman movies

    the last lord of the rings

    any film that was meant to be dark and then ended up having a happy ending because of those hollywood studio fucks seeing the dollar rather than the art.

    anything with ben affleck (except good will hunting and chasing amy)

    Mega Fault (a straight to DVD film with that fiend in it before she died, Brittany Murphy. My god, it's that bad. Shame, because she was in some aswesome films (sin city, girl - interrupted).

  166. geejayoh
    Trollface

    OMG

    Just remembered. The Happening by M Night Shabobobobobobloboblooob.

    So desperately, extraordinarily bad. I can't believe Marky Mark still gets acting jobs. He's worse than Keanu Reeves.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: OMG

      Marky Mark - they threatened to use him as my favourite video game character - huge mistake.

      However was OK in Three Kings, but he did little.

  167. The answer is 42
    Thumb Down

    ITALIAN JOB

    Terrible remake! When are they going to the remake/part 2 where they rescue the gold at the end?

  168. Red Bren

    Roller Blade 7

    They don't wear rollerblades and there isn't seven of them. For some reason, the opening titles continue throughout the film whenever a new character is introduced.

    This was the film that really "launched" the careers of Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez.

  169. Petrea Mitchell
    Thumb Down

    Kaena: The Prophecy

    This is the worst movie I have ever watched all of in an actual theater. French company trying to do something vaguely like anime with CGI and... just failing on every possible count.

    This was Richard Harris's last movie. I think exposure to this script was what killed him. (Though he does wind up playing the only likeable character.)

  170. fzz

    Starcrash

    Though anything with Marjoe Gortner would be a contender.

    Starcrash isn't quite bad enough to reach high camp, like Ed Wood films, but it's plenty bad. So bad I may be the only person still living who'd admit to having seen it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Starcrash

      Caroline Munro is hot in it though but even she isn't hot enough to warrant sitting through it.

  171. Petrea Mitchell
    Flame

    And for most recent bad movie...

    ...Redline. Which I got from Amazon UK since it wasn't being released in the US until a few months later, just because the reviews I read were so unanimously positive. And it turned out to be totally, cringingly, unwatchable. It's like someone just threw together a bunch of random leftover character designs and plot points and loud noises and said, "There, it's a movie!"

  172. Piloti
    Unhappy

    Ishtar

    The clue is in the name really.

    The story goes that the Beaty 'fired' three camels for not looking enough like camels....

    P.

  173. Piloti
    Unhappy

    Police Acamdey.

    Any of them.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Police Acamdey.

      All of them

  174. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mars Attacks!

    All these and no mention of Mars Attacks? All the good scenes were shown in the 30s commercial, leaving audiences to sit in stunned silence for the 90 mins of repetition.

    1. Galidron

      Re: Mars Attacks!

      I think some of the funny parts in the commercials weren't even in the movie so the commercials for it were far better.

  175. James 47

    The Room

    starring Tommy Wiseau, writtena and directed by him also.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)

    Here's a scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4

    It's all like that, I went to a special screening of it in the Prince Charles Theatre in Leicester Sq a few weeks ago. i have a large collection of plastic spoons.

    1. thesykes

      Re: The Room

      You owe me 1 minute 58 seconds of my life...

  176. Grom_uk
    WTF?

    A man called rainbo

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100101/

  177. AlwaysSonnyHere
    Alert

    Fast and Furious

    The Fast and Furious and all its 46 sequels. And while I'm here every Vin Diesel movie.

  178. SwitchDon

    Body of Evidence

    Madonna tries really hard to be Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct and fails. Badly.

  179. Chris Harrison
    Devil

    Two more to blank from the memory

    Two terrible films that I can't erase from my mind are the Denzil Washington and Russell Crowe epic "Virtuosity", and the bizarre Keanu Reeves film "Johnny Mnemonic".

    Neither made any sense whatsoever.

  180. Fat Maestro

    Worst film ever?

    eXistenZ

  181. Tim 69
    Devil

    It's got to be Sucker Punch...

    Really Sucked..... As bad as Battlefield Earth... Just with hot girls.

    1. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

      Re: Fast and Furious

      I really enjoyed the last one.

    2. SoaG

      Re: Just with hot girls

      So...not as bad then?

    3. Patrick R

      Re: Body of Evidence

      Stone also completely fails in Basic Instinct II. Even worse than Sliver. Baldwin. Bah.

    4. Nigel 11

      Madonna can't do movies.

      If you are a producer and have to choose between Madonna and a house-brick for your actress, go with the brick.

      Despite or because of this, "Desperately Seeking Susan" was fun. The filmographies have Madonna down as a supporting role, but in the pre-release publicity it was very clear she thought she was the lead. Rosanna Arquette completely, comprehensively and absolutely stole the film. Madonna playing a brick (or possibly herself) worked quite well as a foil for Rosanna's talent.

    5. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Fast and Furious

      Can be fun and the 1 to 2 filler with the Skyline was good.

      And the Mustang with Skyline lump was just daft.

  182. Andy Roid McUser
    Pint

    worst movie ever made... simple

    Worst movie ever --- Mission to Mars.

    Nothing else needs saying.

  183. Iain Hamilton
    Alert

    Battlefield Earth or The Dilemma. Both truly awful films for a myriad of reasons.

  184. Scott Terril

    Here's a few real stinkers

    "Eye of the Beholder" - When Ashley Judd naked isn't enough to make it watchable, it's really, really bad.

    Have to agree with the poster above about "Random Hearts" - Kept thinking, "This has to get better at some point!"

    "Manos: The Hands of Fate" - So bad it's great.

    "Troll 2" - Right up there with Manos.

  185. Bananimal

    My top 3

    Sucker Punch

    Battlefield Earth

    The Avengers

    Sucker Punch in particular is unutterably stupid. As a fan of stylish films with no substance I should have enjoyed it and yet it plumbed new depths of banality with every frame.

    I tried really hard to get into Battlefield Earth. I took a 3 hour break to get wasted and started the movie again and it still couldn't deliver.

    I couldn't make it through The Avengers, and I watched all of Switch starring Ellen Barkin.

  186. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too many to choose from

    But Snakes on a Plane was the only really bad one I wasted real money on at the cinema...

  187. Slackness
    WTF?

    Well... it has to be

    The Fat Slags Movie, what a complete clusterfuck with so much material to work from.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382028/

  188. George Kapotto

    The Postman

    1. It stars Kevin Costner

    2. It was directed by Kevin Costner

    3. The BOOK was pretty good. The movie was a crime against humanity.

  189. Bucky 2
    Thumb Up

    Starcrash

    This is a best/worst thing.

    1. Steven Roper

      Re: My top 3

      I beg to differ on Sucker Punch - I thought it was quite impressive, given it's a sexploitation movie. I especially liked the plot twist at the end where (trying to avoid spoilers here) the heroine is not the girl you think. The cinematography wasn't bad either; a bit film noir for my taste but appropriate for the movie's setting and context.

      Battlefield Earth I fully agree with you on, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back; in fact it was so bad I won't even watch any movie with John Travolta in it any more.

      Never saw The Avengers so can't comment on that one.

      But my vote for worst movie ever is Hawk The Slayer, a vomitously cheesy C-grade swords-and-sorcery fantasy flick from the early 80s that looks like it was made by a bunch of schoolkids. Everything about it was a paragon of how not to make a movie: hammy bad acting (it had Jack Palance in it so you can imagine what the acting was like), a plot so contrived it made George Bush look guileless, backyard-grade special effects, creatures that made Kermit the Frog look lifelike, and wildly inappropriate disco music in a swords and sorcery setting. What I can't believe is that my brother and I actually watched it about 20 or so times when we were kids!

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: worst movie ever made... simple

      Seen it forgotten it.

      Forgotten <> worst, just not a good film.

  190. VeganVegan
    Facepalm

    Un Chien Andalou

    an eye-opening experience.

    (icon: ouch, my left eye)

  191. Mycho Silver badge

    City Beneath The Sea

    First because their deep sea footage was always very obviously shot from 20cm below the surface looking up, second because they had a fuel source that would explode if it wasn't kept in a room with a sufficient amount of gold and was incredibly dangerous unless you threw a pen at it, third because they managed to miss a gigantic asteroid until minutes from impact, fourth because fuck it.

  192. ratfox Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Eragon

    Though arguably, that was the book's fault.

    I'm surprised nobody mentioned the Star Wars prequels, so many people seem to hate them.

    Also, the Piranha 3d movie... Do not watch it. You would regret it.

    Anything from Uwe Boll.

  193. mfraz

    Attack the block has to get my vote. Really really poor film.

  194. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Highlander II or Freddy Got Fingered

    1. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      delete from program where title='Freddy Got Fingered';

      > Highlander II or Freddy Got Fingered

      This movie is why I use a PVR that can be hacked so that an unconditional black list of shows that shall never be recorded can be created. Some movies need a 4th thumbs down and a little black circle beside their name.

      1. Ty Cobb
        Big Brother

        Re: delete from program where title='Freddy Got Fingered';

        Couldn't stand Freddy Got Fingered when I saw it. Ever since then the girlfriend's fixation on blowjobs is stuck in my head.

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re : Freddy Got Fingered

      You B****d.

      I had managed to forget it.

      One of the few rentals I have skipped through.

      Dire dire dire

  195. Keep Refrigerated
    Mushroom

    I recently had the pleasure of watching 'Setup' with 50 Cent

    And by pleasure, I mean excruciating discomfort at seeing what can only be described a train wreck of a film; as lack of acting talent (from Fiddy), plot, consistency and coherent storyline collided together to make you feel like you were watching some kind of failed collection of improv scenes and outtakes.

    It's as though the director just had the actors helicopted to the location, dropped into the scene and then told to take turns being the bad guy/good guy whilst it was filmed on camera. I just can't believe they had Bruce Willis starring in it - probably explains why they had no budget left for a script writer.

    First movie I ever watched starring 50 Cent. Last movie I ever watch starring 50 Cent. Seriously he can't act. The guy has only got one expression - doped out - the entire movie.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: I recently had the pleasure of watching 'Setup' with 50 Cent

      I remember when he was 27p

      What is the exchange rate now?

      Would I be the only person who would check the exchange rates and call him by his Sterling name.

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Probably, yes

        but I have been known to reference the gentleman in question int terms of the Slakan vloskan.

  196. Sweaty Hambeast

    Ok, most have been mentioned...

    ...but for the popularity contest...

    Batman and Robin (and I'm an avid DC fan and this was just taking the piss)

    Hitch-Hikers Guide film (and I'm an avid... same reason)

    ST: V (so bad I've actually forgotten the rest of the name - really, what were they thinking)

    bunch of others that've been mentioned...

    ...and one I've not seen mentioned yet, Fame. Sigh... what was I thinking...

  197. Leo Maxwell
    Devil

    Zoolander

    Ben Stiller in a film that makes the Heartbreak kid look like Oscar material.

    I was almost unable to hit the power button on my remote for sheer despair.

    1. Ty Cobb
      Childcatcher

      Re: Zoolander

      How could you not laugh when you heard this line:

      There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".

      1. Oneil Stuart
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: Zoolander

        Plus everyone I know who has seen this film starts laughing when someone says "Orange Mocha Frappuccino".

  198. mfraz

    Almost forgot about Burn After Reading, just glad I only rented it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Jesus wept

      I have never downvoted so many people in one thread. Fargo? Burn After Reading? Alien? Genius films, people, they don't deserve to be anywhere near this thread.

      My nomination: Cool As Ice, the Vanilla Ice vehicle from the late 80's - think Footloose but without the catchy tunes and coherent plotline.

    2. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Burn After Reading

      Just looked it up. How could you not like a film in which Brad Pitt gets shot point blank in the face?

  199. BlinkenLights

    2012

    I just could not watch 10,000BC and 2012 after the first 5 minutes. I really did try. The same applies to Transformers 2 & 3.

    1. dogged

      Re: 2012

      I saw 10,000BC in a Singapore hotel room with Mandarin subtitles. It was bad but I've seen much worse.

  200. Shonko Kid
    Pirate

    My nominations..

    2012: Doomsday - Shameless band-wagon jump-on to cash in on the cinematic release of the much bigger budget (and slightly better) 2012.

    Alien Vs Hunter - You won't have seen it, and it'll never get the 10 nominations it needs to be included, but trust me it's far shitter than anything that does make the shortlist.

  201. Weeble

    Eraserhead

    Not that nine other people here are likely to have seen it.

    I still don't know what it was about...

    (Didn't he do something famous later on?)

  202. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

    The A-Team remake

    They had all the ingredients of a fantastic film - and then spectacularly failed to create one.

    The best character was the van, and the killed it off in the first ten minutes.

    Most of the characters I just wanted to hit with a cricket bat. Come to think of it, the screenwriter too.

    1. I think so I am?

      Re: The A-Team remake

      Not a chance, the line - "I think hes trying to fly a tank" is to funny to make this film rubbish.

  203. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

    Revolver

    Jason Statham stars in this Guy Richie movie about... erm.. something?

  204. Jolyon Smith

    I submit for your consideration:

    - Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Risible would be nearer the mark)

    - The Phantom Menace

    - The Phantom Menace

    - Any/all of the Harry Potter animated book illustrations

    - Despicable Me

    - Batman Forever

    - Batman and Robin

    - The Phantom Menace

    1. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Rise? Don't you mean Beneath?

      > - Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Risible would be nearer the mark)

      Clearly you've never seen "Beneath the Planet of the Apples".

      No Ape movie can be worse than that one. It would defy the laws of physics.

  205. Sly

    all this and no mention of...

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

    ok... I guess bad taste does not a bad movie make.

    I'll nom...

    Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0270846/

    Disaster Movie (2008)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213644/

    just because they look horrid by the cover and the editing is probably about as bad.

    and of course... anything on IMDB's bottom 100 is fair game

    http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

    1. Sigfried
      Linux

      Re: all this and no mention of...

      No way, RHPS is an absolute cult classic, bad taste, only to some. Speaking of course as one who has seen the movie 24 times.

      Worst movies:

      No Sex Please we're British: Just plain awful

      The Gods Must be Crazy: Racist dreck

      Waterworld

      Max Max beyond Thunderdome (whereas both MM1 and MM2 are cult classic B movies)

      Avatar, what a waste of production $

      I reckon the title has to go to something that really wants to be a "real" film and preferably pretentiously so, thus Plan 9 and Killer Tomatoes for example, don't really qualify.

      1. Oldfogey

        Re: all this and no mention of...

        You call yourself a fan and you've only seen RHPS 24 times?

        Killer Tomatoes was a spoof, so doesn't count.

        Plan 9, however, was intended to be serious, as were all of Ed Woods

  206. NoneSuch
    Devil

    My wedding video.

    No RumpyPumpy. Just the ex-wife and her vacuous girlfriends spending the little money I had on rose petal walkways, lime green bridesmaid dresses, bird friendly rice and "darling" little table decorations that were chucked in the bin 30 secs after we left. My brother is in there too with the worse Best Man speech you can imagine. The "Many years of happiness" he wished us turned out to be only 3.

  207. Tyrrann
    Facepalm

    Manos

    Manos: The Hands of Fate. Seriously, just Google it. Even the title is fail, translated it's "Hands: The Hands of Fate."

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 uses it as the benchmark for every movie they did since. You can watch it here: http://www.archive.org/details/ManosTheHandsofFate, you've been warned. I've seen it 4 times, two of those times were in a row, on a dare, to see if I could suffer through it. Not sure how i managed to keep my brain from packing it's bags and leaving.

  208. Mr Tank

    The worst film of all time.

    Nude nuns with big guns......... Promising title, but it really sucks.

  209. mark adrian bell

    The Room by Tommy Wiseau

    But I laughed until I cried. Unforgettable.

  210. Jonathan Hogg
    Thumb Down

    Mission to Mars

    or perhaps: Highlander II

    Both films that have made me want my money back - and I can put up with almost anything film-wise.

  211. jellypappa
    Thumb Down

    TITANIC

    absolutely the crappiest film, combined with worse song ever written

    makes for a horrific cimematic expierence.

  212. Richard Jennings

    Artemis 81 is the worst film I've ever had the misfortune to watch, and that's 2 hours of my life I deeply regret losing

  213. jon 68
    FAIL

    We should narrow it down further.. Worst Connery movie ever?

    it's either the unmentionable non existant sequel to Highlander, or perhaps an earlier movie....

    Green Knight, maybe? or even earlier than that?

    1. Cpt Blue Bear

      Worst Connery movie ever?

      First Knight.

      Not even Connery could overcome the suckage that was that script and balance out the non-entity that is Geer (although my Mum says he has nice legs). I actually laughed several times in the cinema, including during the funeral scene

      At least Entrapment had Catherine Zeta-Jones' arse (although not enough of it) to redeem it.

  214. tony trolle
    Thumb Down

    Sutjeska akaThe Fifth Offensive from 1973

    long over 2 hours, large parts with no sub-titles hard to believe but one of the most expensive films ever made in Yugoslavia. Very bad editing.

  215. tony trolle

    not the worst but biggest disappointment

    "dune" and "The keep"

  216. Rostron
    Facepalm

    Jaws IV The Revenge

    Jaws was cinema at its best, Jaws II a passable sequel, even Jaws III is watchable in a post-pub cheesy 80s spot-the-black-border-around-what-would-have-been-3D-at-the-cinema sort of way. But Jaws IV is diabolical low-budget straight to video fare. Terrible script, terrible acting, unlikable characters, a rubber shark that roars (yes, roars). And the worst thing? Every time ITV4 re-runs it I feel compelled to watch. Maybe part of me can't condemn it in its entirety, maybe I'm desperately looking for that one bit of clever dialogue, that one cinematic shot or special effect that might make me think "I can see now why people spent time, money, sweat, etc, on this movie" but no. I can find merit in just about every film I've ever watched, good and bad, but not this one - it stinks like a week old fish.

  217. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Starship Troopers 2.

    Its just awful. The original was cheesy but quite likeable but 2 is just BAD

    1. Vic

      > The original was cheesy

      The original was *supposed* to be cheesy. It's satirical. It's supposed to show up the idiocy of a vacuous-but-militarised society controlled by slogans.

      The sequels - yes, there were two - are just shit. They tried to make action movies off the back of the first one, and that can never work.

      Vic.

  218. Doug Glass
    Go

    Plan 9 From Outer Space

  219. Just An Engineer

    Caddy Shack 2

    The worst movie ever made.

    Plus it was a sequel which automatically makes it to the list.

  220. Pooka

    Ok - I'll admit to a big collection of bad films... I have a cheap asda dvd section habit, and that's good for the occasional gem.... Just going through the DVDs I've got close to hand....

    Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

    Alien vs Ninja

    Birdemic

    The Postman

    Waterworld (how has this one not been mentioned?!?!?!?)

    Sunshine

    1. hammarbtyp Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Whats wrong with a little sunshine

      Can't agree with sunshine. In my opinion, one of the best Sci Fi movies made in the last 10 years with a top class director in Danny Boyle.

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Whats wrong with a little sunshine

        I know exactly - same reason I hate Solaris despite it not being a bad film.

        Fox presentation.

        I tend to hate any film I cannot watch within 30 seconds of sticking it in a DVD player, after 10 minutes of trying to force past the piracy warnings and locked trailers I ripped out Solaris - ripped it and watched the copy.

        With Sunshine I ripped before testing, I have a brand new only been in my DVD burner copy, and a 2 layer burnt copy.

        Finally I stopped buying DVDs due to this forced trailer/warning nonsense, unfortunately the disease is now hitting BluRays.

    2. Helldesk Dogsbody

      I'm not sure any of the Japanese cinema offerings qualify as they are generally watchable, all be it with scattered "WTF?!"s throughout. Alien vs Ninja was diabolical but in the "so bad it's actually good in places" way, the same as Tokyo Gore Police and Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl.

      Definitely agree with The Postman though, totally trashed the book and I still can't remember why I didn't turn it off after 15 minutes.

  221. Tempest8008
    FAIL

    My vote for Worst Movie: Highlander II

    Followed closely by Wing Commander.

    Followed even more closely by Congo.

    There are probably other, worse films, but these three always make the top of my list because of what A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT they were.

    Highlander II: Let's just ignore EVERYTHING from the first (really good) movie and make them aliens! WooHoo!

    Wing Commander: Let's take a storied, well-thought out game and, again, ignore everything that made it good and replace it with concentrated crap. Nononono, MORE concentrated than that!

    Congo: What's that rolling freely down the stairs? Let me pick it up. ZOMG, suddenly my ENTIRE ARM is covered in gore and blood, and I look at it, and it's an EYE. (okay, scream now) ARRRGH!

  222. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is only one for me

    Skyline: Slow start, got a little better, then ended with no explanation.

  223. Rusty 1

    The three worst films must surely be Event Horizon, The Tree of Life, and Catch 22. Utter tripe. I could have watched some pretty exciting paint dry for the long hours those bogies on the hanky of mankind took to watch.

    1. Cpt Blue Bear
      Facepalm

      Vertical Limit

      Worst film ever.

      From the opening scene it should have been obvious. I should have gone straight to demand my money back then. Clearly the lead actors couldn't convey any sort of tension or feeling (they're only a thousand or so feet up a cliff waiting for their father to fall to his death) so they resort to shouting over each other to compensate. This technique is extensively used throughout.

      The characters are clearly meant to be "flawed" but end up being so unlikeable or pathetic that you start to think the villain has a valid point. The plot has holes you can drive a bus through (apparently nitro glycerine is only highly unstable if you know about it...). The script is distinctly average. It was shot it in the Southern Alps of New Zealand and the scenery is average so they even screwed that up. But the crown is the editing! I assume some executive producer had read the there was an optimal length for exciting action scenes and decreed that every one be cut to that length. You can set your watch by it.

      It make Cliffhanger look like quality. If this was a no budget, first film from unknowns I'd cut it some slack, but it's not. It's a big budget Hollywood action adventure so I'd rather cut the rope that it's hanging from and let it fall to its death like the actor in the opening scene. IT should be shown to film students as a terrible warning.

  224. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Third Eye

    a.k.a. The Yin and the Yang of Mr. Go

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066592/

    You'd think that with James Mason, Burgess Meredith, and little Jeffrey Bridges in his first role this would have to have some redeeming value - but you'd be wrong.

    Horribly, horribly wrong.

  225. Uncle Siggy

    Q

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084556/

    I would have suffocated myself too.

  226. oregonensis
    Unhappy

    Inception

  227. William Wallace
    FAIL

    Avatar

    Just junk. Horrible. Tedious. Like watching some kid's recording of a computer game he'd recently played. Awful.

  228. white_darkness

    Any of the Star Wars franchise...

    Though I do find them excellent to cure insomnia...

  229. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    worst movies

    Skyline -

    Syrianna - <could have been good story.

    War of the Worlds - < really not possible to remake hitchcock

    The Thing (2011 Pre-Quel) if you make pre-quel it should end where the other began.

    Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom

    Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

    The WHOLE Twilight Saga - ( it really really made our marriage uncomforable and there is still a part 2...)

    Peter Jackson's King Kong - ( might of been good.. Jack Black really?)

    Driver - (tough thing about international flights - your stuck on the plane for 6 hours and you cannot help but watch - what has been seen cannot be unseen.....)

    Jurassic Park 2 and 3.

    Congo

    The whole jason bourne movies (decent stories but bad movies )

    1. Vin King

      Re: worst movies

      The Thing (2011) DID end where the first one began, with the survivors chasing the dog in a helicopter and trying to shoot it. As much as I love the original (remake, whatever) Carpenter film, and for as much as I'll admit the prequel didn't meet it, it was still enjoyable for me.

    2. Cpt Blue Bear

      Re: worst movies

      Raiders was a classic of my generation, the sequels were just awful. The Terminator suffers from this as well right up to the execrable TV series (which might have worked on it's own rather than tacked onto the end of the franchise, but I doubt it).

      Twilight Saga - a mate dates the end of his marriage to about halfway through this and the realisation that his wife liked it. That was the beginning of the end so beware.

      Driver - this is the Ryan O'Neil flick with the scene in the carpark where he systematically destroys a Mercedes? It's a product of it's time and I can still enjoy it as such like the Dirty Harry films, Blue Thunder and Bullit.

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: worst movies - Jason Bourne

      Killing off Franke Pontente is 2 soured it for me.

  230. Polyphonic
    Childcatcher

    So dire they never released it on DVD

    Cannibal Girls, saw it on the big screen, awful but it kept me out of the rain.

  231. smot

    Unbreakable

    An M Night Shamalamadingdong disaster. I wasted 106 minutes of my life waiting for the most blindingly obvious non-twist under the sun. As with Matrix 2, this film has destroyed my view of "The Sixth Sense"...

  232. fiffilinus

    "Surf Nazis must die". Impossible to beat that one for complete and utter crappiness.

  233. nitsedy

    Zardoz

    Sean Connery in a red mankini with crossed suspenders, a floating stone head puking guns out of its mouth, a plot line that is still undecipherable, and the most random rape scene ever conceived in a movie (in the barn....with the spaced out chick....and Connery who apparently just decides, "Why the hell not?").

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Unbreakable

      I actually LIKE this one, the ones after the alien one are the real tripe.

  234. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sister Act

    Whoopi Goldberg in this makes me physically want to puke, and yet I didn't mind her so much in ST-TNG. After this though I couldn't watch her in anything ever again. Robin Williams also seriously creeps me out in his films. Watched War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise last night and it was a big wtf, so many plot holes I couldn't believe it.

    1. Drewc Gold badge

      Robin Williams gives me the creeps too... sometimes

      When he goes all sentimental e.g. Patch Adams

  235. Galidron
    Mushroom

    Lord of Illusions

    With Scott Bakula. I use at as a ratting for bad movies. For instance, I hated Blade but at least it was better then Lord of Illusions. It stands out as by far my most miserable movie experience.

  236. Dick Emery
    Facepalm

    Disney sequels

    Pick one. ANYONE! They are all equally as bad.

    Bambi II? Pocahontas II? Brother Bear II? Beauty & The Beast II? The Lion King II (and III)? Lady & The Tramp II? Cinderella II?

    1. Vic

      Re: Disney sequels

      Aladdin IV: Jafar May Need Glasses

      :-)

      Vic.

  237. Chris Stephens
    WTF?

    Birdemic

    I am a bad movie expert. I own 3000+ movies. Worst movie of all time is a difficult decision as there are different genres of horrid.. But.. Birdemic: shock and terror might indeed be the worst movie ever made. Its best when watched with the director commantary turned on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE5dJDgZ644

  238. Smudged
    Thumb Down

    Stalker

    Rated 8.1 on IMDb, supposedly a classic, and a whole 2 hours 43 minutes I can't get back.

    <quote>One of STALKER's many treats is that it invites you to get carried away into your own thoughts, flowing with the images as it provides new questions to ponder...</quote>

    thoughts and questions like, why am I watching this god awful film, how could so many people be so wrong.

  239. sisk Silver badge

    Another nomination...

    As much as I hate in inflict it on you all...Cinderella 2000. Just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, they start singing. That's about as far as I made it.

    http://www.youtube.com/movie?v=9ORXua3H05I&feature=mv_sr

  240. BIGAJM

    Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Or the Bourne trilogy.

  241. DodgyDave69

    I Am Legend

    I Am Legend was utter rubbish. Even to this day i don't know how i made it to the end of the film.

  242. Xris M
    FAIL

    Does straight to DVD count?

    If so War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave is definitely a contender.

    Quite frankly how anyone can even get away with using the name and making something this terrible (check out the imdb user reviews) without being taken out and shot etc. is beyond me.

    Even Battlefield Earth seems Oscar worthy next to this!

    1. Drewc Gold badge

      Re: I Am Legend

      Drugs always help... you'll want to see the sequel then.

      http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/1251444/i_am_legend_2_in_the_works_with_will_smith_sought_to_return.html

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I Am Legend

      I recently read the book and was (and am still) in shock at how Hollywood can take what is a genius idea for a thriller-horror and make such a pitiful piece of shit out of it. Do cretins like Will Smith write their own dialogue too? I can't see any other explanation for this crap.

  243. Robert E A Harvey

    The worst I've paid to see is Starship Troopers, but I've had exposure to Battlefield earth and it is a stinker.

    But I've twice had to sit through 'raise the Titanic' and it is in a league of awfulness that I hope is its own. Lower the Atlantic, it would be more believable.

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      I found Starship Troopers a very good film. If you don't try to expect a screen version of the book the film is actually a hard-hitting political satire.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Devil

        It's amazing how many people (particularly Americans, for some reason) seem to take ST seriously...

    2. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      "It would have been cheaper to lower the Atlantic" was the joke the producer made at the time...

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Starship Troopers

      Is great.

      I even got a free exchange from flipper to RSDL by moaning at them.

  244. This post has been deleted by its author

  245. hammarbtyp Silver badge

    Worst Film

    Pearl Harbour - Its not difficult to make a bad film, but to spend so much money on this stinker takes real genius.

    Closely followed by Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy - Never in history has a film been anticipated by so many, yet satisfied so few.

    Oh and Judge Dredd, if only for Sly Stallone totally missing the point(although we could add get Carter to that long list). Hopefully the forthcoming remake will fix that though

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Worst Film

      Just use you DVD player's chapter selection to go straight to the 20 minutes or so of the action in the middle and it's great. Thank god RIAA never managed to make skipping chapters illegal.

  246. Vin King
    Devil

    As bad as some of these are...

    ... I find myself somewhat surprised the first mention of Uwe Boll didn't come about until page 6. I'm gonna go ahead and agree with Alone in the Dark, and toss another vote to the sequel to Highlander that didn't happen.

  247. CyrixInstead

    Dungeons and Dragons

    Dungeons and Dragons, without a doubt for me. Nothing like the kids TV show I remember, I should have trusted my instincts at the video shop looking at the cover. Pure shit, no wonder it went straight to video. Starship Troopers 2 was pure crap as my second, again a shit film cashing in on something else's name.

  248. Lilolefrostback

    The Sound of Music

    I may toss my cookies just thinking about it. Leading cause of diabetes.

  249. Somerset John

    So many to choose from.

    Rather disappointingly there are so many bad films out there I can't think of one which is trancendentally bad, head and shoulders above the rest. Possibly the nearest is that Nick Cage film "Knowing", with the ridiculously trite Adam and Eve ending.

  250. El Trisco Smythe

    The Blair Witch Project

    Nuff said.

    1. Steven Roper
      Thumb Up

      Seconded on "Knowing"

      I cite that film as the archetypal example of "Seen the trailer? You've now seen all the good bits so don't bother with the rest."

      The trailer touts it as an end-of-the world thriller, but in reality it's an hour and a half of Cage and his son puzzling over some numbers on a piece of paper, followed by 3, count them, 3 minutes of actual world-busting special effects, and then - that fucking ending with them dancing off on that paradise planet? Oh please.

      At least that other better-films-in-my-toilet-bowl stinker 2012 had enough sequences of cities falling to bits and tsunamis flooding over mountains, to gratify my innate desire to see the world destroyed, throughout the movie instead of the first/last five minutes as is usual with disaster movies.

      1. mad_dr

        Re: Seconded on "Knowing"

        Thirded for Knowing.

        It's bizarre though - the plane-crash sequence early on in the film is (from what I can recall) spectacular and, I believe, shot in one continuous take (or at least made to appear so). I spotted it on the TV a couple of weeks ago and tuned in just as that scene was about to start and was impressed again. Needless to say, I tuned out again as soon as the scene was over...

    2. Petrea Mitchell
      Alert

      -1 for Knowing

      I was impressed by its audacity. I didn't expect a big-budget Hollywood production to take the story to its logical conclusion.

      And yes, I'm aware that Roger Ebert and I are the only two people on this planet who actually thought Knowing was good.

  251. Jean-Luc Silver badge
    Trollface

    So many...

    Primary nomination: Southland Tales or Waking Life.

    As far as Battlefield Earth goes - having read the book, I must say the movie did not truly do the book justice. The movie is pretty awful, sure. But the book is so much worse! All 900+ pages of it.

    You gotta wonder about Scientologists - do they know how truly horrible Hubbard was as a writer??? I've read lots of SF and, yeah, it's a genre with its fair share of duds. But Hubbard is in a category all by himself.

    p.s. (wiki for B.E.): "current US presidential candidate and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney pointed to the book as his favorite novel."

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: So many...

      I'm sure I'm gonna burn for this, but I actually like the book and have read it several times over.

      Oh the shame.

      1. Vin King

        Re: So many...

        I'm going to have to agree. The book isn't anywhere near as bad as some L Ron haters try to portray it. That said, Scientology can eat one.

    2. Dan Caugherty
      WTF?

      Re: So many...

      Sorry, but Waking Life is quite good. One of my top 5 of all time.

      It's just not for everyone. It's slow, ponderous, and takes effort to watch. But the ending, which does tie all of it together, makes it worth the effort.

      Southland Tales is crap, however.

  252. Vic

    Magnolia

    3 hours of total shite.

    I sat through the whole thing, waiting to see if the supposedly-interconnected storylines would somehow wind themselves into something awesome. And they didn't.

    For the last 90 minutes or so, I was genuinely hoping for some major natural disaster that would take out the whole fucking lot of them.

    Vic.

  253. Queeg

    Damn! pipped by the 1st post

    Battlefield Earth.

    The best thing I can say about it is ,they got some of the names right.

  254. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Watchmen

    Intolerably lengthy bunch of pseudo-moralistic nonsense spewed by weeping bolsheviks in dire need of being purged.

    BFE is just about equals it but even that had some grotesque so bad it's good factor. Watchmen is so nauseating with its absolute belief that is a high work of art that nothing can redeem it.

    1. veti Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: Watchmen

      Watchmen was undoubtedly a crime against art, for taking fine source material and turning it into an imagination-free abortion. Other comic-book adaptations in the same vein include '300' and 'Catwoman'.

      But - worst ever? Nah.

  255. Hardcastle the ancient
    Headmaster

    outfield

    Invasion USA (1952) [saw that one at school]

    Barb Wire (1996)

    Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2K)

    Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)

    Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)

    Spice World (1997) [oh come on, it's awful]

    The Wicker Man (2006) [US remake]

    The Hottie & the Nottie (2008) [vile sexist shallow awful]

    Nude on the Moon (1961) [similar]

    Sex & the city

    Norbit

    1. Spoonsinger
      Facepalm

      Liquid Sky (1982)...

      Youth of today don't know how bad a movie can be.

    2. Sweep

      Re: outfield

      I quite enjoyed Gnomeo and Juliet.

      But then I was kind of high...

  256. Nigel 11
    Headmaster

    Sorry

    "Worst" is the superlative of "bad". "Bad" is the opposite of "good". The word is neutral, colourless: not shocking, not disgusting, not instantly forgettable nor horribly unforgettable.

    On that basis it has to be "Battlefield Earth", doesn't it?

  257. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    FAIL

    Are they the worst ever??

    Not sure, but I considering I (and this requires some personal bravery to admit) that I paid to see these, I have to suggest in no particular order:

    1. Battlefield Earth: What was worse? The cavemen who went from grooming lice out of eachothers hair to flying 2000-year old Harriers vs. the Alien Air Force in the course of a few weeks? John (Revolting) Travolta opining about how the humans "love the rat!"? Barry Pepper wishing he had avoided this stinker by really been blown up by a German tank in "Saving Private Ryan"? So many painful moments......(shudder)

    2. Predator II: Thankfully I saw this when I was still young enough that I could get away with heckling the movie for the last hour. That kept everyone around me far more entertained than Danny Glover and Kevin Bussey could.

    3. Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" Mark Walberg--can be a decent actor. Tim Roth and Helena Bonham Carter--can be excellent actors. Taking the late 60s dystopian sci-fi classic and perverting it into a confusing mish-mash of nonsensical set pieces has to be one of the most horrible, mercenary ideas in movie history. Helena Bonham Carter wanting to bring a new meaning to the term "Jungle Fever" with Walberg, and then tacking on an ending that made no God Damn sense from the moment that Walberg decided to leave the planet (to go back in time to do what? Save the mothership from going to the planet in the first place, and therefore wiping out all Walberg's newfound friends? And how the Hell did Tim Roth's fascist gorilla become so revered ON EARTH that he took over Abraham Lincoln's spot on the National Mall? I think I ended the movie doing my best Charlton Heston impersonation, pounding my fists on the theater floor yelling "Damn you!!!! God damn you all to Hell!!!!!!"

    (I don't suppose there is anywhere I can go to get 6 hours of my life and $20 back, is there??)

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: Are they the worst ever??

      Regarding your #3, my wife had to point out that Helena Bonham Carter was actually playing a monkey..I didn't think she was wearing a mask.

  258. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Happy

    Honorable Mention....

    So bad, it may be good!!

    "Night of the Lepus"--about irradiated jack rabbits growing to the size of buffalo and then going on a carniverous rampage through a stereotypical small Southwestern desert U.S. town. The "crowd shots" were done by setting a group of fluffy bunnies loose across a model town landscape and filming them in slo-mo. Watch for the part about 3/4 of the way through the movie where the crowd of Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail lookalikes is roaming through the model landscape by night--only there is a stagehand visible in the shadows and of course looking at big as a mountain compared to the "giant" rabbits. Someone obviously tells the stagehand "You're in the shot!", because he turns and runs into the shadows (still in murderous rabbit army slo-mo)--only the movie is shot on such a D-list crap budget that the filmmakers keep the sequence in the picture! :)

    1. Oldfogey

      Re: Honorable Mention....

      You missed the classic line "Run for your lives. The Rabbits are coming!"

  259. Oldfogey
    WTF?

    No mention yet for....

    The three Mr Vampire movies.

    We showed these at an SF Con at the NEC, in a professional Cinema but using our own (experienced) projectionist.

    We spent a long time trying to figure out how to show them, as the reels didn't make any sense. In the end we settled on No1, No 3, then No 2, but even so we were never sureif we had all the reels in the right order in the right films (or even if we had all the reels, or if the reels were all from these films.

    They were Chinese Kung-fu style vampire movies, with much leaping about as per Hidden Dagger etc., often for no apparent reason. Also they were subtitled, apparently by somebody who had done an evening class in Mandarin, but had only the sondtrack to work from.

    Aweful, truly aweful. (and I mean that).

  260. bluesxman

    Quench

    Truly, truly awful. And most certainly not in a funny way.

    http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0874314/

  261. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bangkok Dangerous

    At least Plan 9 was amusingly bad.

  262. Sarev

    Batman & Robin

    Possibly not the worst ever, but deserving of an honourable mention all the same...

    1. Vin King

      Re: Batman & Robin

      Oh man, repressed memories come forth. George Clooney killed the franchise in a way that it took the awesomeness that is Batman Begins to undo, but we totally could have lived without his horrible take on the Dynamic Duo.

  263. Thorfkin

    My List

    I limited my list to movies that were so bad I had genuine trouble finishing the movie awake.

    Birdemic: shock and terror

    Radar Secret Service

    Mac and Me

    The Room

    The Horror of Spider Island

    Hercules v.s. Karate

    A Boy and his Dog

    I failed miserably on Mac and Me. I tried twice to watch that pile of steaming rectal discharge but in both cases I passed out and woke up hours later. Good as any tranquilizer.

  264. Ian Grant
    Flame

    Bonfire of the Vanities

    Should have been burned before it ever saw a cinema.

  265. Nudge

    the postman

    apparently that Heaven's Gate mob in San diego watched this prior to offing themselves, and if it weren't for copious amounts of vodka to numb the pain, i'd be tempted to follow suit.

  266. Youngone Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Titanic

    Can I nominate this as the worst movie ever. Its only redeeming factor was that the very annoying main character died at the end, so no sequel. Yay.

  267. gskr

    Cable Guy

    The Men Who Stare at Goats

    Superman Returns

    The Day After Tomorrow

    Garfield the Movie

    Transformers 2

    All extremely bad films - but if I had to nominate the film I think is the worst I've ever seen it would be this one:

    Vantage Point - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443274/

    Was trying to be clever with the same 20 mins of action shown from multiple viewpoints - it succeeded in being the most annoying film I've ever seen - in fact I think this was the only one I have ever been close to walking out of (I have a REALLY high tolerance for bad films) - so many people were walking out - an audible groan every time it reset to another viewpoint.

  268. I am the Walrus

    Swordfish

    I've always had a personal dislike for this movie for so many, many reasons.

  269. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So bad I couldnt believe it

    Along time ago I saw a Gibraltan movie called "Sergeantt revenge", or "Sergeants gun", not sure which was the original name. And it can't be found anywhere, not even in imbd.

    How bad was it? It had some half known actors that acted so stiffly I haven't seen that stiff anywhere. Even a deep frozen conservative politician shows more feeling. Not even porn films actors act that bad.

    Not a cult film, but I had to watch it to the end, as I couldn't believe how bad the movie was.

  270. Cinematique
    FAIL

    Charlies Angels: Full Throttle

    The "full throttle" subline should have referred to throttling the writers of this complete garbage movie.

  271. trejrco

    Worst Movie ...

    R.O.T.O.R. is easily the worst movie I have ever seen.

  272. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Transformers gets my pick, by a whisker over War of the Worlds (cruise version).

    Star Wars prequels also rate highly.

  273. skooz

    mac and me

    extra-terrestrial visitors (spanish but english dubbing involving a 7 year old child shouting expletives as the alien males all the clothes in the room dance) and quantum apocalypse simply because it sucked (though implying amiga is the only OS that can save the world is quite novel)

    1. Jim Morrow

      Re: Swordfish

      Why? Halle Berry gets her tits out. And very nice they are too. For that reason alone, this is nowhere close to being the worst fim ever.

    2. Vin King

      These movies are all extremely recent, with the exception of The Cable Guy, and don't represent the worst of the worst in cinema within the last 30 years by far.

  274. heyrick Silver badge

    No way in hell I'm reading 481 posts...

    But in case it has been missed... In my *extensive* misspent youth watching telly, I would have to say the absolute worst pile of shit I ever had the misfortune to watch must surely belong to "The Class Of Nuke 'Em High III". I've seen some movies so poor they were forgotten before the credits finished, but this one bored a hole into my mind. When people talk of terrible movies, I think of this and think "naaaah".

  275. johnwerneken
    Megaphone

    Any new age, spiritualist, ufo, environmental movie ever made. Any Matrix movie. Tron. All the zombie movies. The ones with the dude with the razor blades for finger nails (freddy kruger? if that is not freddy, then add him too). Anything about anybody named Kennedy or Diana. Anything involving Andy Warhol or Woody Allen. Almost anything from Holywood since Reagan. Anything at all "made for TV", broadcast or cable. Anything with disco or rap music, except Tupac or Biggie Small, thy were as great as they thought they were, too bad that they are both gone. Anything with Halloween in the title, or about ghosts. Anything with the word Alien in the title.

  276. jake Silver badge

    500ish posts later, and nobody's mentioned 1967's "Barbarella"?

    How could it be anything but Barbarella? And hands-down.

    Anything with Woody Allen's name on it[1] is a distant second.

    Third, close behind Allen, are all remakes.

    Third.0, anything with "3D" in the title.

    [1] Outside the Jazz world, of course!

    1. David Cantrell
      WTF?

      Re: 500ish posts later, and nobody's mentioned 1967's "Barbarella"?

      What? Barbarella is in "so bad it's good" territory. Which is far better than "so bad it's unwatchable".

  277. Stunod Niknud
    Thumb Down

    Gymkata

    "The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate."

    I don't think movies can be made this bad on purpose.

  278. Vin King
    Thumb Down

    Unfortuately...

    ...I'm going to have to suddenly add a second nomination. Netflix just recommended to me, as part of what they cryptically refer to as my "Top 10" this particular jewel:

    "Shriek If You Know What I Did Friday 13th

    In this goofy horror spoof, a masked slasher stalks the teens of BF High on what happens to be Friday the 13th and Halloween night at the same time."

    Without even watching it, I'll go ahead and nominate it on the basis of confusing the 13th of October for when Halloween falls, spoof or not.

  279. GJenkins

    About 20 years ago I had been at a sleepover (I was about 13?) we hired a film - we watched about 10 mins of this woman whom before moving out of the house insisted on saying goodbye to everything such as the light fittings, walls etc.

    I cant think for the life of me what it was called, chain moving -something like that? Have no idea who was in it nor anything else - it was abruptly cut short by my friends parents whom had deemed it to be a load of tosh. Anyone remember it?

    Recently, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button sent me to sleep as did the twilight dross...

  280. KiwiAndy

    Eyes Wide Shut

    As a long-time fan of Stanley Kubrick, I was sorely tempted to have him euthanased after my having sat through the first two and a bit hours of this stinker. Even the train-wreck-watching rubber-necker in me was unable to make it through to the end.

    One of my more resiliently constituted mates watched it to its conclusion with his partner, (on a dare or a promise, I suppose), and I asked him what happened in the forty-odd minutes between the point where I shot through and the end credits. To which he replied "nothing".

    So not much different from the beginning then.

    And just in case that doesn't meet your standards of worst movie ever, consider that other remarkably interest-free dog turd of a film, The Remarkable Lightness of Being. Remarkable Likeness to Boring, more like. May the director of that waste of human heartbeats never be allowed near a motion picture set again in his/her miserable life.

    That is all.

  281. GJenkins

    Piranha (3D) is another....

    Did anyone else go to see it simply to see Kelly Brook swimming nude in 3D?

  282. TeeCee Gold badge

    It is true....

    .....that there are many low budget / straight to video / we were only having a laugh......honest, stinkers out there, so I think we have to exclude these and only allow those turkeys that got a wide cinematic distribution.

    Thus I have to agree with what many enlightened commentards have said and go with Highlander II. What a cast-iron stinker that was! Also I saw it in the cinema and I don't think you can truly appreciate how bad it is 'til you've done that.

    I can't quite believe how many films that I actually like have aquired the odd vote or two.....

  283. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Enter the Void

    Enter the Void is far, far worse than any of the other movies mentioned here. It shoots right through "so bad it's good," all the way to "so bad you will regret I ever mentioned it." If you're tempted to watch it just to see how bad a movie can be, don't bother. It's that bad.

  284. Cyfaill
    Happy

    Worst film ever made

    Sort of the same difficulty of stating which was the best.

    Somewhat subjective based on culture and setting... bad movies can be funny with the right audience, still bad but just funny.

    I have seen thousands of films, naming the worst is very hard, there are so many to choose from.

    The no excuse one, money can not overcome bad taste and no real plan:

    Heaven's Gate - pretentious hubris, ego run out of control.

    The $1.98 budget selection:

    The Beast of Yucca Flats - I hope someone had fun making this turd.

    One small note... even a bad film is hard to make... but making them this bad takes a special talent.

  285. maxillius

    THX 1138- pure symbolism. no color, acting, or excitement (despite the car chase and escape to the surface at the end). YAWN.

    Independence Day- Jeff Goldblum takes out the alien mothership with a virus. Composed on a Mac. Please.

    Waterworld- There isn't enough water in the ice caps to cover the entire planet apart from Mt. Everest. Also, if the water level is that high, how do they breathe? (The air pressure above 20,000 ft is insufficient to survive). Where does the asshole in the tanker get the gas for his Cadillac with no tires? And wasn't the Exxon Valdez destroyed in the wreck off Alaska in 1989?

    Star Trek V- "The example against which all badness is measured" -Rajesh Koothrapali, Big Bang Theory

    Beerfest- Seriously, what the hell? I'm glad I didn't pay for it, but I wish it wasn't taking up space in my rack.

  286. valdez
    WTF?

    Titanic 2

    Tagline "lightning does strike twice"

    I'm not joking

    1. Jean-Luc Silver badge

      >Also, if the water level is that high, how do they breathe? (The air pressure above 20,000 ft is insufficient to survive)

      Hmmm, let's do a bit of thinking here. The air pressure at 20000 ft is low, because the air's settled down in the 20000 feet below that. You know, pressure gradients and the like.

      If you start out at 20000 ft, 20000 is the new 0.

      Neh?

      1. Petrea Mitchell
        Boffin

        Re: air pressure

        Although it should be a smidge thinner than before, since the average diameter of the Earth has effectively been increased by 8 miles, and so there's a little more surface to cover.

  287. Shaun 2

    AI

    Matrix Revolutions

  288. That Steve Guy

    Pearl Harbour

    I take back what I said earlier, someone just reminded me of Pearl Harbour.

  289. Toothpick
    Devil

    My two ......

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show. WTF? A complete crock of shite. And;

    Pulp Fiction. Everybody seems to think this is a classic and to slag it off is heresy. I think it's classic rubbish.

    My personal opinion and not trolling

  290. lesession

    Lord Of The Rizzzzzz

    Any of the Lord Of The Rings films - over-hyped, overacted, over-long and over here.

    The Return Of The King was probably the worst, jeez that could have been done in about an hour and a half less than it took; just cut out all the long lingering looks, speak the pompous dialogue at a normal speed, and only use each bit of tacky CGI battle footage once, and the whole thing would have been over in 90 minutes tops.

    The fact that they reckon they need 6 hours to do The Hobbit (that's well over a minute a page!) says it all.

    1. Nigel 11
      Thumb Down

      Re: Lord Of The Rizzzzzz

      If you couldn't stand the books you won't like the films. If you absolutely loved the books then the films will inevitably disappoint. But worst movie of all time ... come on, have you really considered all of the above posts and decided RotK was worse than any of them?

  291. pintofale

    AI

    AI is the worst, because we expected so much before it started, then expected it to get better at some point, before becoming slowly anaesthetised. I didn't even have the will left to complain about it afterwards, I just slouched off home.

  292. Keith Edwards
    Windows

    The Player

    "Loaded with Hollywood insider jokes. "

    i.e. up itself and totally unfunny to anyone who does not know 'Hollywood'

    Dull, dull, dull :(

  293. hammarbtyp Silver badge

    I think we need some rules...

    It seems to me to define the worst film ever we could do with some constraints. One I would suggest is the films budget. While there are many many low budget films which are bad, you sort of expect that when the total film budget is less than Tom Cruise's catering outlay.

    Therefore I would suggest that we only consider films with a budget of 50 mill or more or have two categories, worst budget, straight to videio/dvd and worst ' they spent how much on that pile of crap!!!' film.

    On that basis can anyone say whether John Carter is really that bad

  294. Charles 9 Silver badge
    Coat

    Perhaps some perspective.

    It might be best to consider what should be the criteria for "Worst Film...EVER". First off, I think we can agree that the film had to be intended to be a serious legitimate film (thus the "No Troma" rule--if a film was MEANT to be bad and invoke the "So Bad It's Good" effect isn't going to count). And second, it has to be universally panned (so no cult favorites).

    Given these criteria, it may behove some people to peruse this link on the TVTropes website: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Horrible/Film

    It lists what the Wiki writers there consider "So Bad It's Horrible". Now, a number of films already mentioned (like The Asylum, Battlefield Earth, unmentionable "seconds", and a certain cartoon adaptation from MNS) made the list. Among the entries listed there...

    - Anything from Uwe Boll. Video game companies, DO NOT let him direct your movie adaptation. Full Stop.

    - Dracula 3000 (though I have to wonder if the title alone could've irked some people prior to the box office; the REALLY bad ones should hook you in first, THEN have you running for the fire exit)

    - The Undefeated (maybe not the worst film overall but a good candidate for Worst Documentary Film Ever)

    And BTW, Eddie Murphy's latest effort wasn't his first complete bomb. Has anyone mentioned "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" yet?

    PS. If I had to choose something from the list, I'd have to put it at "Disaster Movie". Yes, I know of the "No Troma" rule, but an exception should be made here because the point is that this film is a Troma-wannabe that was so bad at "being so bad" that it gives Troma-type films a bad name.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave from the theater altogether. After enduring Avatar a couple years ago (I found it not be the worst ever but simply uninspiring and way too predictable--not to mention confirmation that 3D isn't the best thing since sliced bread).

  295. James 51 Silver badge

    War of the words with Tom Cruise.

    Need I say more?

  296. bgj
    Devil

    My wife recorded Titanic 2 which must go down as the biggest waste of magnetic flux of all time.

  297. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have to admit that I am the sort of person blockbusters are made for. Generally, I like nothing more than something mindless after a day at work - big, improbable explosions, tons of CGI and a few good fights and I'm generally happy. Plot, writting and acting I find optional. I guess I see films as escapism rather than art, and personally I see nothing wrong with that. So, I'll put my hands up and admit that I've enjoyed such films as Matrix Reloaded / Revolutions, Terminator 3, Suckerpunch, 2012.

    However, there are some films that have had me shouting at them, and no amount of splodes could save them:

    The Da Vinci Code - hated it, it was slow, boring and Hanks (who is normally good) just couldn't be bothered with it.

    Twilight - only saw half and hour or so of this (the girlfriend made me), found it completely tedious. It must be a female thing. Vampires don't sparkle!

    The Core - I wanted to like this. Normally over the top, unrealistic stuff doesn't bother me too much but the utter ignorance of basic science made me really angry and shouty - again, this is coming from someone who enjoyed 2012. If you've not seen it, give it a watch and prepare to be astounded.

    Doom - give it a different name and it would have been an ok, mindless action film. What annoyed me was that the source material and the idea of messing around with teleportation technology and opening a way into hell is an awesome premise. Instead, they ignored all the source material and came up with some DNA angry gene bollocks instead.

    1. Banterbobs
      Boffin

      The Core????

      Philistine. This film is spectacular bullshit, with the all time greatest line in any film:

      "It's best guess. That's all science really is."

      Not to mention the "science 101" display of an apple and lit hairspray and "Unobtainium" a substance that defies the laws of physics.

      Classic.

    2. heyrick Silver badge

      Random musings to AC

      The Matrix rocked. I don't think the sequels should ever have been made. They weren't bad, exactly, one of them (I forget which) was kinda fun, but both were just a total disappointment compared to the promise of the first. Reminds me of "Battle Royale". The first was great, the second had such a crap ending and so many logic flaws it actually hurts to think about it.

      T3 was good, and brought the story full circle. I must admit my favourite is the first, because I think it was aimed at people with more brains and less tendency to "oooh, shiny!" and gawp at the effects.

      2012 was actually a fun ride. Okay, hokey science, a personal drama for a story set against the impending apocalypse. It shares a lot in common with The Day After Tomorrow. But, come on, LA gets trashed. And when I mean trashed, I mean, fasten your seatbelt. Wow. Bet they had fun making that.

      Sucker Punch is an awesome film. But I think it is so far left of centre that you'll like it (you get it) or you'll hate it (you don't get it).

      The De Vinci Code. Crap, but Audrey Tautou speaking English. Mmmmmm!

      Twilight - I'm with you there. There's one bit of dialogue that goes something like "you should be afraid of me" and then "i'm not, I love you". I swear to god I nearly choked.

      The Core was fun because it was well aware of how rubbish the concept was, so it just played along and cranked the nonsense scale up to 11. Sometimes overanalysing can be a problem. Consider, for example, "One Missed Call" or "The Ring" (and I mean the Japanese originals, not the remakes). Good films both, but the possibility of that happening for real is up there with crop circles and the stringy haired ghost girl crawling awkwardly over the foot of my bed and... hang on... what the f....? AAAAAAAARGH!

      .

      I noted the "No Troma" rule, so I shall present an alternative option for worst film EVER. And, trust me, if you watch this, you'll regret it. A lot.

      "The Psychotronic Man".

  298. Paul Woodhouse

    only trawled through the first 3 pages so far and no ones mentioned Twilight?....

    1. Charles 9 Silver badge

      Twilight

      It's been mentioned a few times already, mostly by men dragged into watching them by their girlfriends or wives. Probably not a candidate under the "cult hit" rule--men may hate it, but it seems a hit with women (given the source material, it isn't surprising).

  299. CAPS LOCK Silver badge

    Top Gun

  300. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sunshine

    I have to put my vote in for this sequence of every cliche known to sci-fi stitched together into one film.

    I mean really: the psychopathic guy hiding out for years on the "abandoned" spaceship? Uh right, well I sure wasn't expecting *that* plot "twist".

    This is the only film I've seen which I was actively trying to forget about even as I was watching it. Which is the only reason I can think of for why I didn't walk out.

    1. EyeCU

      Re: Sunshine

      I have 5 thumbs down for suggesting this one. Glad I'm not the only person who has put it in their personal 'Never Watch Again' list

      1. Paul Naylor

        Re: Sunshine

        Totally agree. I expected so much more from Danny Boyle and was pretty much bored for most of it. I'm trying to rack my brains now to remember the plot (apart from spaceship going to try and stop the sun going out) but can't...

  301. Arrrggghh-otron

    "Doomsday 2012"

    That's "Doomsday 2012", not "Doomsday", nor "2012"...

  302. Ian Stephenson Silver badge
    Boffin

    I would have said Dark City

    as it is the only film I have ever mourned the loss of those 2 hours of my life.

    However Human Centipede takes the cake as involuntary surgical torture porn.

  303. Banterbobs
    Mushroom

    Have skimmed the majority of posts...

    A lot of the films here have redeeming features, as they are so laughably bad, (see Star Trek V, Plan 9, etc...). However, one stands head and shoulders above the rest:

    The Postman - so many hours of self-indulgent Kevin Costner shite with nothing actually happening.

    Post apocalyptic obviously.

  304. Mike Timbers

    Grease 2

    Not even Michelle Pfeiffer could save it. Does it save the film that at one point (Michelle singing to her presumed dead ero who is visualised all in white standing atop a pile of (white) smashed-up motorbikes surrounded by (white) clouds) I fell out of my chair laughing?

    No, I don't think so.

  305. Monti

    The Room

    So bad that it approaches pure brilliance.

  306. Mips
    Childcatcher

    "celluloid"

    Celluloid! Celluloid!

    What the hell are you on about? We don't do celluloid anymore.

  307. Mips
    Childcatcher

    Hanibal

    Hanibal was a great book but the film was lousy, overplayed and really lost the heart of the characters.

  308. David Cantrell
    Go

    The Navy Vs The Night Monsters

    It has to be The Navy Vs The Night Monsters, which is, thankfully, one of the most obscure bad films ever made.

  309. Paul Smith

    Eyes wide shut

    First movie I ever actualy walked out on in a cinema.

    1. Alabama Amerkin
      WTF?

      Re: Eyes wide shut

      So, you missed the opening shot of Nicole Kidman stripping? Or was that perhaps why you walked out? Truly, I would like to understand.

  310. Rhiakath Flanders
    Mushroom

    I demanded my two hours back

    After I saw Project Andromeda. It's... It's just...

    I.... Oh god, i just thought of the movie. Oh.. NOOOOOO

    * Shoots himself in the head. Twice. With a shotgun. Just to be sure *

  311. stewam
    WTF?

    Army of Darkness

    Beyond awful.

    Wish someone could invent a mind rubber or brain bleach stronger that ethyl alcohol that could completely eradicate those 81 minutes of my life.

  312. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Starship Troopers

    Utter drivel

  313. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Channel 4

    No, not Channel 4 is the worst film ever.

    When Channel 4 started they had a thankfully short season of the 10 worst films. I don't think I sat through any of them, but two stick in my mind: "The Wild Women of Wonga" which lasted all of half an hour and "Plan 9 From Outer Space" which was the number 1 worst film.

    Of course, Plan 9 has now been immortalised elsewhere so it probably doesn't count.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Re: Channel 4

      IIRC there was also

      Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

      They Saved Hitler's Brain

      the one where the monster is a guy in a gorilla suit with a goldfish bowl on his head

      1. Dan Caugherty
        Thumb Down

        Re: Channel 4

        That movie would be "Robot Monster".

    2. Shonko Kid
      Stop

      Re: Starship Troopers

      Nope, Starship Troopers 2 and 3 were far far worse than the original..

  314. I think so I am?
    FAIL

    Just so bad

    Max Payne

    Blade 2,3 - can't believe no one has said this yet

    Son of the Mask

    Home Alone's after the 2nd one

    The Scorpion King

    The Marine

  315. thenim
    FAIL

    I can't believe no one has mentioned the following gems...

    Mortal Kombat - $18mil budget

    Street Fighter - $35mil budget

    Hitch (I got dragged along by my wife!) - $70 mil budget

    Sweeny Todd (one of two films that I've walked out of in the first 5 minutes) - $50mil budget, singing - in a film - WTF? Sad thing was, walked out and sneaked into watch "I am Legend" - what an absolute pile of crap.

    I am Legend - $150mil bdget

    Sonny (the first film I've ever walked out of) - We were in portugal during the Euros, and the local cinema was showing nothing else - so I dragged my "friend" from the gem below (for revenge)

    And my most favourite - the absolute and utter tripe that is:

    Practical Magic - $75mil budget, with cast like that, a sure fire hit, slowly driving screws in to my own eyes would have been more pleasurable... I and a few others got dragged along to this by my "friend" - who I have somewhat got some revenge back on....

  316. Dexter

    Anything with lots of CGI in it. Sadly this is about 50% of films now, and quite a lot of TV.

    (Lord of the Rings, Avatar, any modern disaster movie, any modern TV program about dinosaurs).

    I don't want to sit in the cinema and watch a video game, thanks, and CGI animation always looks terrible, IMO.

  317. 1Rafayal
    Gimp

    All of the Hellraiser films after Hellraiser 2.

    They just turned into this bunch of weird morality tales that simply made no sense at all. And were very boring at the same time.

  318. Mistered

    The Ghost and the Darkness

    The island of Doctor Moreaux

  319. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Law Abiding Citizen

    Not me, the movie.

  320. Ben Holmes
    Stop

    Ultra-bloody-violet.

    I want those 90 minutes of my life back.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Scarred

      I'd tried to wipe that film from my mind. Truly awful, no question.

      Aeon Flux is from a similar genre of drivel. There was a woman with monkey feet, though.

      1. Ben Holmes
        Meh

        Re: Scarred

        A Woman With Monkey Feet sounds like the title of the next Hollywood flop.

  321. 2fast748

    Driven by Sylvester Stallone

  322. Sweep

    The Cat in the Hat

    Starring Mike Myers.

    Awful, just awful.

  323. Reppe
    Coat

    2012, was sooo bad i fell asleep. 2 hours never got back!

  324. Andy Brown

    Open Water

    Truly dire.

    You spend 2 hours watching sharks circling two people in the ocean, and then it just ends. The only 'suspense' in this 'psychological chiller' is waiting for anything to happen.

  325. PassiveSmoking
    Thumb Down

    Manos: The Hands of Fate

    Space Mutiny

    Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

    Showgirls

    1. Sweep

      Showgirls

      Has certain redeeming features

  326. The Grump
    Mushroom

    My 2 cents...

    Plan 9 from Outer Space. Worst. Ever. Period.

    1. Alabama Amerkin

      Re: My 2 cents...

      But this Ed Wood classic is treasured by Sci-Fi movie fans, because it is laughably bad! I will not part with my Plan 9 From Outer Space. (amazon.com reviewers say the DVD by Image Entertainment is the one to buy. (There is apparently a very poorly done DVD by a different publisher.)

      1. Alabama Amerkin
        Stop

        Re: My 2 cents...

        For any real or imagined Plan 9 fan out there: I just finished watching the Extras on both the Image and Passport DVD productions. They are very different and both are excellent. Don't miss either.

        1. Alabama Amerkin
          Thumb Up

          Re: My 2 cents...

          Oh! And if you haven't seen the Extras on the Ed Wood (Burton/Depp) disc, do try to see them.

          1. Alabama Amerkin
            WTF?

            Re: My 2 cents...

            Ed Wood, at some point in time must have said to the cast and crew, "To get this film funded, we all have to go to church ... and some of us have to get baptized." --- because that is exactly what happened.

  327. IronSteve

    Max Payne

  328. MonkeyScrabble
    Coffee/keyboard

    Megashark Vs Giant Octopus.

    Even the inclusion of 80's songstress Debbie Gibson couldn't save it....

    What has my life become? I watched a film called Megashark Vs Giant Octopus.

    1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      Happy

      I must disagree about Megashark vs. Giant Octopus

      This film gets points for (briefly) reviving Debbit Gibson from the crypt of cultural irrelevance.

      There was also a fun bit where the megashark eats an airliner flying by at 30,000 feet. Why did the shark jump after an airplane that was 6 miles above the ocean? How does even a 300-400 foot long shark catch at airplane flying by at 600 miles an hour? How in God's name did the shark figure out the timing on that jump to catch the airliner at that altitude, even if the shark could make the jump up to 30K feet(which it couldn't)? Who knows!, but it was a truly funny bit of C-movie cheese!!

  329. Not That Andrew

    Anything with Adam Sandler or directed by M. Night Shamaladingdong.

  330. Pete Maclean

    The Blair Witch Project

    Never have I felt I should get my money back more than after viewing this turkey in a cinema.

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Blair Witch Project?

      Is that about the Iraqi Freedom?

  331. pete 22
    Devil

    Any of the Troma Films productions would qualify. I recommend "The Class of Nukem High, Part 2"

    or "Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space"

    Both are the most incredible cheesy, campy, low-budget 1970's sci-fi that you could imagine... the sort of thing that has you groaning in the first 4 minutes.

  332. pete 22

    Death Race 2000

  333. Balefire
    FAIL

    I gave up after 7 pages. Can't believe nobody mentioned Return to the Dark Planet. The plot was awful, the acting, where there was any, was worse and the set pieces must have cost about 50p.

    It opens on a space prison where the walls were so thin one of the actors manages to tear one when his elbow bumped into it. The "electronic lock" on a cell was a casio calculator. You could tell because they hadn't even bothered to paint out the name! I gave up after about 15 minutes of it's 75.

    I had to go out and get extremely drunk after that.

    1. Alabama Amerkin

      I've searched for that title on IMDb and Google and can't find a reference to it. Are you certain that "Return to the Dark Planet" is correct?

      1. Balefire

        I have to admit being a bit hazy on the name - I did get horrendously drunk shortly afterwards in an attempt to block out the nightmare.

  334. Roy T

    Worst film

    Worst film I've seen? Carry on Columbus.

    I'd tell you what was wrong with it, except I simply have no memory of what was in it - my recollection of the film is limited to a single image of Jim Dale stepping onto an obviously fake deck in an unconvincing costume. I can't remember any details of scenes, characters, dialogue or plot (if there was one). It's the only film I've ever seen that made no impression on me at all.

    Runner up: Blair Witch Project. Poor quality, unsympathetic characters, unconvincing lines, not in the slightest bit scary. A waste of money, and totally inconsistent with the hype surrounding it.

    Roy

  335. Alabama Amerkin

    My pick for worst movie:

    Against the Dark (2009) - Steven Seagal

    I couldn't watch it through to the end.

    1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: My pick for worst movie:

      Oh! This is bringing back formerly repressed memories of another AWFUL film--Steven Seagal's "On Deadly Ground". Not that Steven Seagal's films are that great anyway, but On Deadly Ground was from the "Steve Seagal is a big star" phase of his career, so the studio let him do self-indulgent environmentalist stuff, often accompanied by Steven playing his guitar as a part of his character. Basically if you see Steven Seagal pick up a guitar in a movie--immediately leave the theater or change the channel!!

      On Deadly Ground is probably also notable for being the worst movie of Michael Caine's career. As I recall Michael Caine played a pollution-loving oil baron out to despoil Steven Seagal's pristine Alaskan homeland.

    2. Alabama Amerkin
      Gimp

      Re: My pick for worst movie:

      (From my review on amazon.com)