back to article Eddie Murphy heading for worst movie ever glory

Eddie Murphy looks a dead cert for the Razzies and possibly the worst movie ever award as critics queue up to give his A Thousand Words a righteous shoeing. The movie currently rates 0% on Rotten Tomatoes "Tomatometer", based on 42 reviews. The website summarises the plot thus: Eddie Murphy is Jack McCall, a fast-talking …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The last decent film he made was Beverly Hills Cop and that was nearly 30 years ago in 1984.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Eddie Murphy Rule

      There is a very simple rule about how good an Eddie Murphy film is: How many times does he say "Getthefuckoutahere"? It's directly proportional to quality of the film.

    2. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Wrong...

      He was the voice of Donkey in the Shrek series.

      Which goes to the point of the author. A silent Eddie Murphy just isn't funny.

      1. Graham Marsden
        Thumb Down

        Re: Wrong...

        @He was the voice of Donkey in the Shrek series.

        And I always wondered why Shrek didn't just punch him over the horizon...

  2. Audrey S. Thackeray

    I like Hudson Hawk

    And I thought Daredevil was on a par with other comic book adaptations.

    So who knows, this one might be more Star Wars than Jar Jar for me.

    I imagine it will be on telly soon so I might get to find out.

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Re: I like Hudson Hawk

      I like Daredevil too. It's not remotely close to being greatest superhero flick but it's not awful either. It's borderline watchable.

    2. mark 63 Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: I like Hudson Hawk

      I like Hudson Hawk too.

      A much underapreciated film. those who dont like it mostly havent seen it and are going off its poor box office results.

      Why drag this much misaligned film out your ass now to be tarred and humiliated merely by being in the same discussion as "the complete crap eddie murphy has produced since beverly hills cop2"

  3. Thomas 4

    Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

    I would like to put forward my two nominations:

    Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore. I'm not overly keen on romantic films at the best of times but this was the most god-awful and unfunny piece of crap I have ever seen.

    Alternatively, M Night Shyalaman's entire body of work. Sixth Sense was utterly predictable and Haley Joel Osmont got on my tits, Unbreakable....well it was ok I guess. The Village dragged on without going anywhere and don't even get me started on The Happening.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

      The "Send M Night Shyalaman Back to Film School" fundraising website is still going, but they've only raised a bit over $700 so far - please give generously before he strikes again: http://mnightschool.org/

    2. DrXym Silver badge

      Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

      I thought Unbreakable was a decent movie except the abrupt ending. After that Shyalaman got stuck in a rut of providing "twist" endings and that was that.

      1. Keep Refrigerated
        Holmes

        Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        Unbreakable was great but the ending was slightly anti-climatic, if a good twist. DVD extras and cut-scenes make up for it though.

    3. Andrew Moore Silver badge

      Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

      I watched The Crappening on TV a couple of weeks ago. I wish I hadn't. I put M Shyte Nyalaman in the same box of one-hit wonders which includes George Lucas and the Wackovski Brothers.

      1. Arrrggghh-otron

        Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        Clearly none of you have seen Doomsday 2012...

        Often seen on sale in Tescos (STILL?!?) and bought buy unsuspecting bargain bin browsers who aren't paying attention and think this is 2012...

        Have a look at the comments on imdb (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132130/reviews)

        1. Thomas 4

          @Arrrggghh

          I take it we're not talking about Neil Marshall (Of Dog Soldiers and Descent)'s "Doomsday" right? Because I quite liked that one.

          1. Arrrggghh-otron

            Re: @Arrrggghh

            No. "Doomsday", that's the one where the Scots get quarantined and go all Mad Max right? That film is a master piece in comparison to "Doomsday 2012"

        2. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

          Geez please don't spoil the plot for me! I was planning on watching it on 12/23/2012 ...

    4. Jim 59

      Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

      Artificial Intelligence.

      1. ravenviz Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        Suckerpunch.

        I walked out of the cinema.

        1. ravenviz Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

          Oh, and Van Helsing.

          1. tfewster Silver badge
            Big Brother

            Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

            Van Helsing was tongue-in-cheek fun. And it had Kate Beckinsale in it.

            IMO, no way in the "worst" category.

      2. Greg J Preece

        @Jim - Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        AI was pretty bad. It wasn't the worst thing I'd seen...and then the ending happened. What...the...fuck.

      3. Shaun 2

        Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        Agreed - If I ever meet Speilberg, I'm taking my three hours back.

      4. Dick Emery

        Re: Oh, if we're looking for worst films ever

        I loooooove that movie. I hated it on the first viewing but the more I watch it the more I realize how bloody good it really is! Poor Teddy! :(

  4. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Plan 9 From Outer Space

    is a "so bad, it's good" classic.

    1. CD001

      Re: Plan 9 From Outer Space

      Like me, you must have an interest in the future as that's where we'll be spending the rest of our lives ;)

      (apologies for the poor paraphrasing - but hey!)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Or Troll 2

      Could this movie cross the so bad it's good again barrier?

      I actually have copies of Battlefield Earth, the remake of the Wickerman, Plan 9, The Star Wars Christmas Special, and The Room (although I've only watched those last two once). All are even better with Rifftrax.

      -Anonymous of course..

  5. P Saunders

    Its Murphy

    His star died long ago in the '80s. Every thing he stars in qualifies as a "Worst Film" . He makes KISS In The Attack Of The Phantoms look like Shakespeare.

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Re: Its Murphy

      Bowfinger was great and Shrek 1/2/3/4 of course. But generally speaking his mug should serve as a warning that a movie is going to stink. He should go on his hands and knees to someone like Tarantino and beg for a decent acting part to revitalise his career.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Its Murphy

        Bowfinger was great because of Steve Martin. I have to concede that Murphy wasn't bad in it, although all he really had to do was the overpaid movie star / crazy guy / gormless brother bit.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Its Murphy

      Actually the Kiss film title was "Phantom of the Park".

      AC, too embarassing to admit I have the video (never released on DVD to my knowledge)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Its Murphy

      Actually the film title was "Phantom of the Park".

      AC, too embarassing to admit I have the video (never released on DVD to my knowledge)

  6. HP Cynic

    Not the worst.

    Troll 2

    That is all.

    1. Anonymous Coward 15
      Trollface

      Re: Not the worst.

      Maybe you just got, erm... trolled?

    2. CD001

      Re: Not the worst.

      oh ... my ... god

      I didn't even realise they'd made a sequel...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It's not a sequel

        Not an official one at least. IIRC, it was supposed to be called Goblins but the distribution company changed the name to capitalize off the "success" of Troll - despite having no rights to do so and the films being completely unrelated.

    3. Alan Edwards
      Happy

      Re: Not the worst.

      Not seen that one (Troll 2), but surely it doesn't beat Lake Placid 2 to the title?

      Mega Python vs. Gatoroid must also be in the running, but that was only really made to have Debbie Gibson and Tiffany fight each other so maybe doesn't count.

      1. WFW

        Re: Not the worst.

        Clearly you are all wrong. The worst movie? The Trial of Billy Jack. A pretentious and lame sequal to a lame original. A friend of mine told others to go see it because he knew they would never otherwise believe how bad it was.

        1. Criminny Rickets
          Devil

          Re: Not the worst.

          I actually liked The Trial of Billy Jack when it first came out, even if I was just a kid at the time.

  7. dotdavid
    Thumb Up

    Pearl Harbor Sucked...

    ...but not as much as Ghost Rider. At least with Peal Harbor there was little chance of a sequel.

    1. Tony S
      Trollface

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      "At least with Peal Harbor there was little chance of a sequel."

      You know that you have just thrown down the gauntlet to the suits in Hollywood right?

      Quite frankly, with the way that they have been re-making, re-imaging & creating sequels by the bucket load, I'd actually give fair odds for a re-make of Pearl Harbor within the next 5 years.

      1. mark 63 Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: Pearl Harbor sequel

        the sequel came with it - for some reason the movie didnt end with the attack on pearl harbour.

        It was at that point in the film when i was informed i was stuck in the cinema for a further hour and a bit while the "story" dragged on until finally USA got a bit of revenge by managing to bomb japan.

        and then the pubs were shut.

    2. RedRichie

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      Pearl Harbor did indeed suck...

      ..but wow, have you seen Red Tails yet? It sucked so hard, my ears popped.

    3. Andrew Moore Silver badge

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      I think the song in Team America nailed just how much it sucked.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      > At least with Peal Harbor there was little chance of a sequel.

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302909/

      I stared at that in numb disbelief for a full thirty seconds before twigging what was going on, and this one isn't a joke at all:

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640571/

      1. Alan Edwards
        Happy

        Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

        > http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640571/

        If you want a laugh, have a look at the 'Goofs' for that one.

        1. oldredlion
          Happy

          Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

          "Amy tries to stop her friends wound bleeding by sellotaping a credit card over it. "

          That is only the second goof, and it sounds hilarious. I want to see it...

    5. Armando 123
      Joke

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      The worst part was how Hollywood caved to the Japanese being offended that they did indeed attack without provocation. I thought the report of the giant rubber lizard attacking Honolulu was a bit too much.

    6. xerocred

      Re: Pearl Harbor Sucked...

      "...At least with Peal Harbor there was little chance of a sequel."

      I'm in tears laughing at this...

  8. DrXym Silver badge

    Poor old Eddie

    Eddie Murphy has been in some fine comedies and is a good actor when challenged by a good director and script. But he seems to have trouble telling a good script apart from a bad one or has taken the Michael Caine approach to choosing roles - anything at all so long as it pays the bills.

    Whatever the reason, seeing Eddie Murphy on a billboard should serve as a warning that the film is more likely to be awful than not.

    See also Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Kevin James etc.

  9. King Jack
    Trollface

    Shrek

    True Murphy's acting career has tanked but do remember that he is the voice of Donkey in the Shrek movies. Maybe he should stick to doing just voices.

    1. Wize

      Re: Poor old Eddie

      Too many 'comedies' with the likes of Adam Sandler, Vince Vaughn etc. They always seem to play the same character.

      Eddie on the other hand plays lots of characters. Generally in the same film...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eddie Murphy in shit film

    it's not exactly news is it?

  11. Vetis

    So Eddie Murphy is the new Steve Martin?

    1. bob's hamster

      At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo.

      1. Armando 123

        "At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo."

        Which is another point for Eddie Murphy.

      2. /dev/me

        Re: At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo.

        You know the definition of a 'gentleman'?

        Someone who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But Isn't Steve Martin Dead ?

      Well, it looks like Eddie is hot on his heals...

      As his carrier is certainly looking like it...

      I wonder what his next Disney Role will be?

      (i get the feeling this role should have gone to Jim Carey, as he can Act;)

  12. x2uk
    Thumb Down

    The worst film in the history of the universe is Legally Blonde 2. I was forced to endure it once on a transatlantic flight, and it's the only film I've ever watched which made me feel both mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being. Quite apart from the unimaginably banal storyline, horrendous characters, and the complete lack of anything even vaguely interesting on screen (at one point I resorted to playing the 'would you?' game out of sheer desperation and by the end the score was still at zero, extras included). The worst part was that someone somewhere decided to make that film, and some other people agreed with them and between them all they created something that if it was utterly erased from history the world wouldn't even be a better place, it would just dissipate like a fart in a gale, unnoticed and unmissed. Thanks for reminding me of that terrible experience El Reg, I thought I'd filed that one away with all the other bits of my wasted life but you've managed to drag it back out to turn my stomach anew.

    1. Goldmember

      "mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being"

      If you think that's bad, you should try watching the utter dog shit that is Bride Wars. My girlfriend made me watch that in the CINEMA, no less. At least on a flight you can unplug your earphones and go to sleep, or stare at the floor for a couple of hours. There's no escape when you're faced with surround sound, big screen twoddle of epic proportions.

      I thought I'd never be able to watch another film again in my life. Luckily, years of therapy have helped.

    2. P Saunders

      You mean you never saw Speed 2?

      Now that was a crapfest of biblical proportions.

  13. Swarthy Silver badge

    Worst movie

    And no Reference to "Manos: The Hands of Fate"?

    Pish.

    1. jason 7
      FAIL

      Re: Worst movie

      I saw that a decent complete print of that movie was found last year. They are currently restoring it to full HD.

      After seeing some clips I would have burnt it.

    2. Armando 123
      Unhappy

      Re: Worst movie

      My thoughts exactly. I've never wanted to hurt a movie back, and that was with Joel and the 'bots' MST3K treatment softening the blow. Seen in the raw, I can't even imagine.

    3. Michael Hawkes
      Happy

      Re: Worst movie

      As MST3K noted, Manos is Spanish for Hands, so the title can be translated as "Hands: The Hands of Fate" Hilarious movie, despite that.

  14. DAN*tastik
    Paris Hilton

    I will have to watch it

    Everytime a film is classified as the worst ever, I feel compelled to buy the DVD ( maybe not at full price, I can wait a few years )

    Let me tell you, if there is one thing that will never gather dust in my flat is "The hottie and the nottie". I am sure there will be a remake of it soon. Hopefully with exactly the same actors and plot.

    1. jason 7

      Re: I will have to watch it

      Rent it from the local library for £2 instead.

      Dont pay any more for it.

    2. P Saunders
      Paris Hilton

      Re: I will have to watch it

      The House of Wax remake was better - at least there you got to see Paris Hilton getting skewered to death.

      PH 'cause I want to skewer her to death.

  15. jason 7
    Meh

    My personal nomination....

    ...is Batman & Robin.

    However, I do remember sitting in the cinema watching Unbreakable.

    I broke the cardinal rule of speaking during a screening which I had never done before and now only reserve for telling noisy teenagers to "shut up or f*** off!". About 70% of the way through I just felt compelled to say out loud - "Is anything actually meant to happen in this film?"

    The audience burst out laughing and a few clapped. Dirge!

    I haven't watched an Eddie Murphy movie in years.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Eat Pray Love

    Vomit

    [thanks to Dr K]

  17. Greg J Preece

    Worst movie I've ever seen? Well, I own copies of Battlefield Earth, Sword for Truth *and* the animated Titanic films, so they would definitely qualify.

    Most hated film? Terminator 3, hands down, no contest. Not just because it was an unnecessary cash-in, not just because it was a horrendously shit experience, but because of what it ruined, and how big a part of my childhood that ruined thing was.

    Fuck you, Mostow. Fuck you.

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      I liked T3. It was a blatant cash-in but it had a pretty clever ending with a "you can't change the future" thing going on. Terminator Salvation was crap though.

      1. Wize

        T3 was ok

        T4 Blew goats.

        They even forgot how music worked. They reused the old Terminator score, dropped all the instruments except the base hammering out a repeated phrase.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: T3 was ok No it wasn't, except for:

          This 'deleted scene':

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kayFrIR-Qfw

          They should have kept this scene and deleted the rest of the movie!

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kayFrIR-Qfw

          T1 Good Stuff

          T2 Brilliant, more polished, original story picked up, turned on its head and then put perfectly to bed. Plus a mini gun.

          ----------------------

          Neither T1 or T2 pushed the basic premise beyond its limits. The Matrix worked well for the same reason. If they were ever to make a sequel to The Matrix then I'm sure it would push its premise too far, and thus fail.

    2. Greg J Preece

      What's wrong with you guys? OK, T4 was horrible too, but T3 was atrocious. The mind-numbing and completely pointless action scenes. The total lack of an explanation for why the narrative has continued. The lack of an explanation for the presence of yet another T-800 model 101. The complete pussification and sidelining of John Connor, a dude who was previously the coolest 10 year old alive. The bullshit explanation of why Sarah isn't around (her actress knew this was going to be shite).

      They make gay bar jokes with a Terminator, and turn him into a comic character more than once. No, no no no no no. The Terminator in the original film was big, sinister and fucking deadly. Even in T2, he softens over time, but in the beginning he's death incarnate. He'll make you shit your pants just to steal your sunglasses. He comes across as a threat, and you believe it when Sarah tries to destroy him. In T3, they take that same character and put him in Elton John shades.

      HA HA FUCKING HA. Prick.

      That's not to forget the other supposed walking killing machine in the movie: the fembot, an early prototype for a Michael Bay transformer. Oh yes, this is going to conquer the fucking world. Inflatable tits and skintight leather are required for that, are they? And the remote-control nanobots? BULLSHIT. The T-800's power-core going nuclear just so we can have another explosion? BULLSHIT.

      I'm going to stop here before I hyperventilate (again). God, I hate that fucking film. The ending was the one thing that came near to a saving grace, but by that point I was so full of rage I was ripping the arms off the cinema seat and frothing at the mouth.

      1. Timothy Slade
        Terminator

        I don't even think the ending was that clever.

        Oooh skynet was software and it tooks over teh webz.

        meh.

        How does that give it a manufacturing base?

        How does that give it the sorts of advanced robotics needed to start producing killing machines?

        If it's running on people's home pcs, then a power cut will cripple it.

        laem laem laem.

        But, yes, absolutely, John Connor turning from a badass into a wimp was the desecration of a childhood hero.

        And the nanobots, and their totally patchy application. Why did the walking fleshlight bother to pull over when the cop stopped her for running the junction? she could have just taken control of his car and crashed it. If she could make a flamethrower of her arm, why couldn't she make a jet, and fly to John Connor and land on him at high speed.

        Fail all round.

      2. Bassey

        Re: Greg J Preece

        I agree with most of what you say but not that this makes it a "worst film". All of that just adds up to a bad personal experience and most of that is just because you watched the originals as a kid. If you get that upset every time hollywood screws around with things you're gonna spend a lot of time in therapy.

        Star Wars - Phantom Menace did the same thing for a lot of us in our 30s/40s but that doesn't make it a "Worst Film". Pretty bad, yes, but by Hollywood standards by no means an absolute stinker (and I recently had the "joy" of being dragged to the new 3D release by my Star Wars obsessed 5-year-old so the pain is still all too fresh).

    3. Timothy Slade
      Terminator

      Reading this nearly bought a tear to my eye.

      Terminator and Terminator 2 were huge, for me, as a teen.

      The way that T2 took themes from the original and added depth and meaning, and dealt (albeit briefly) with the emerging psychology of the machines was awesome.

      T3 took a huge dump all over all of that.

      Maybe not the worst film ever, but you've certainly got my vote for most hated and despised.

  18. yoinkster

    There are many bad films, but most of the bad films are bad because they either star nobodies or have the budget of a pub session.

    The worst film that was a real film that I've ever seen is 2012. Apart from the flying giraffe (or was it a rhino?) 2012 is abysmal.

    Maybe though the people involved in this film wanted it to be bad so they could get the press coverage and get people to buy it "to see how bad it is"? Can't say that's all that bad a marketing strategy if you ask me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Budget and "stars" don't make good movies.

      Spending lot of money does not compensate for bad direction, poor editing, rubbish scripts and the biggest problem with Hollywood; that being a total lack of imagination and originality.

      T3 was rubbish, “2012” was tedious rubbish (like pretty much every disaster movie ever made), War or the Worlds (with T.C.) was rubbish, tedious and annoying, last 3 star-wars! etc...

      The last Bond film was bad, but made far worse by the ridiculous editing; what is the point of staging big fight scenes, then editing it so you cannot see what is happening?

      Good films start with a good script, that script needs a good director who can plan out how they will show it to us, and get good performances from the cast and crew...

      CGI/Special effects should only be there to help tell the story, they are not a substitute for one. Unfortunately most of the dross coming out of Hollywood these days is all CGI/3D/HD remakes and boring as hell.

  19. CADmonkey
    Unhappy

    To loosely quote the man himself:

    "Eddie are you worried that you're not funny anymore?"

    "I stopped worrying about that about $80million ago"

    Watch Delirious - there's a man trying to make a living. Funniest show 14yo me had ever seen

    Watch Raw - there's a man who has made it - Meh

  20. Anonymous Coward 15
    Alien

    Plan 9

    even got an operating system named after it:

    http://plan9.bell-labs.com/plan9/index.html

    1. Goat Jam
      Thumb Up

      Re: Plan 9

      Robot Monster was far worse (better)

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robot_Monster

  21. 0laf Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Unbreakable was utter bilge.

    About Schmitt is the only film I've ever come close to walking out of after paying actual money to see.

    Fantastic Four - Silver surfer, really really crap only saved from the bottom of the pit by Jessica Alba in a really really tight outfit

    Anything by Ewe Boll

    Terminator Salvation was a terrible disappointment, ruined by bloody batman

    Resident Evil 4, I've no idea why I rented it, it was really awful.

    There are many many crap films out there that are less entertaining than Plan 9. Compared to a lot of them Plan 9 really isn't that bad.

    1. L.B.

      I got lucky with Unbreakable...

      The projector broke down about 2/3rds through and I got my money back!

      I eventually watched it a few years later on TV just to see if it got any better after that point; It didn't.

    2. PT

      Walking Out

      I've walked out of two movies that I paid for. One was 'Jubilee', long ago. The other, more recently, was 'Temptation of the Christ'. I can't even believe I paid to walk in to that one. I desperately wanted to walk out of 'God Save The Queen', but I stuck it to the bitter end because my girlfriend like the Pistols (it didn't work out). As for the other turkeys cited here, having paid attention to the reviews I didn't pay to see any of them at the theater, so walking out was not an option.

  22. bobbles31
    Flame

    Worst film of all time

    Transformers

    As the credits rolled I actually shouted at each persons name as it rolled by...HE DID A SHIT JOB! SHE DID A SHIT JOB!

    The script, score, special effects, editing, makeup, acting, everything about that movie sucked.

    Talk about ruining a much loved childhood franchise.

    </froth>

    ...............................................................................................It's the red one down here.

  23. Graham Bartlett

    Worst film ever

    I presume from the nominations for worst film that no-one has seen Green Lantern?

    Tescos were having a special on DVDs, and it was £3. I thought "hey, if it's crap then at least it's no more expensive than renting it for a night". Wrong - it's also cost me a couple of hours of my life. Kept watching, thinking "Somewhere along the line it's got to have something neat happen - even Transformers: Dark of the Moon managed that." But no...

  24. GitMeMyShootinIrons

    Megashark vs. crocosaurus.

    Sharktopus

    Twilight.

    At least the first two were funny.

    1. L.B.

      If you're going start counting SyFy TV movies, we'll be here all day!

      They are cheap and the effects are nasty, but at least they don't expect you to hand over £~10 to watch it, at least after a few beers they are good for giggle.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worst film ever? JET starring Keiffer Sutherland!

    KS plays a alcoholic air traffic controller who has guide a plane safely down! Riveting stuff!

    The budget must have been about $25 and a lot of borrowed back rooms at the local supermarket! In 90 minutes you see HS's work station, his managers desk and the stairwell, of course bear in mind the entire thing is shot at night and in the dark to add even more drama but makes it look even more cheap! Oh and some very poorly filmed and obviously cheaply licensed shots of planes taxing on nighttime runways!

    I actually sat through the entire thing and regretted the time wasted what should have been a clue, the £2.99 I wasted on the DVD!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm...

    I've got high hopes that "Iron Sky" will be the worst film ever made.

    For those that don't know of Iron Sky, all you need to know is: Space Nazis return to Earth!

    What's not to like? Nothing

    What's the chances it will be good: None.

    1. Stu Pid

      Re: Hmm...

      I don't think you can put a privately funded and produced movie in the same league as stuff that comes out of Hollywood. Given the fan funding context it actually doesn't look that bad from what I've seen.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmm...

      HEY!, IRONSKY Rocks

      At least they got to Finish ;p the movie properly.

      It's currently doing the rounds (pre-screeners) across Europe atm.

      The graphics should be pretty good, considering the budget they had.

      (or didn't, its amazing how well the graphics have come along sing Babylon 5 (over 15 years ago) with zillions of Amiga's all fitted out with Toasters)

      The Soundtrack is really good :)) at the very least that will be the highlight of the movie, along with the deliberately hammy acting (they actually got a few real actors (some are professional actors as well;)

      Based on their previous 2 movies this one should be very good.

      They were definitely worth downloading (check them out online for free.) (ok i they were utter turkeys, but at least they did try thier best (before Paramount and a few other movie companies blew a fuse about copyright)

      [ Yes i admit it i have very low standards when it comes to Movies, but then i used to love watching Plan-9 and similar B-Movies on BBC2 late at night in the 80's and loved them:)

      Of all the Movies that have come out in the last 20 years, This one is one i will definitely go to watch, if they get a general cinema release, lets hope they do.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm...

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/2012/03/kermode_uncut_iron_sky.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

        even Mark Kermode likes it...

        though he did mention Troma movies, is anyone old enough on here to remember those Turkeys from the early 80's

  27. John70

    Basically...

    ... what you're all saying is that Hollywood just produces crap these days.

    1. L.B.

      Re: Basically...

      If we are truely honest Hollywood has always prduced 98% crap.

      It just that when we look back we mostly only remember the (averaged) 1.2 decent films that come out each year.

      Though is seems worse these days as many of the truely awfull films being made are remakes of what most people regard as classics.

      I can understand doing this if the original was a foreign film and they just want to make an English version, but when the originals were made by and started the Hollywood greates, it makes no sense at all.

  28. Michael Hawkes
    Childcatcher

    The Room

    "The Room" by Tommy Wiseau is a bit odd. It's a bit like an after-school special as told by drug dealer.I thought the ending was great, if only because it ensured there would be no sequels (we can only hope).

    1. Timothy Slade
      Thumb Up

      Re: The Room

      http://insidemovies.ew.com/2010/12/20/the-room-tommy-wiseau-3d/

      Truly a great film.

  29. CD001

    Worst film ever

    ... not sure about the worst film ever - this "made for TV" film is probably the most depressing I've ever seen. Normally I'm quite happy for bad stuff to happen to people in films but by the end of it I was like "Oh, FFS - just give them a break - the poor feckers haven't had ANYTHING go even slightly right for them, not even once".

    Lifepod : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107415/

  30. Sparx
    IT Angle

    the closest i found was

    the mention of cgi...

  31. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    Worst movie?

    I nominate 'National Treasure'. The whole 'the British are all bad guys' thing gets tiresome after a while.

  32. PassiveSmoking
    Mushroom

    Not even Plan 9 can even come close to Manos: The Hands of Fate for sheer terribleness. From a 10 minute intro scene of a family driving where literally nothing happens (it was meant to have the credits superimposed over it, but they forgot) to the "haunting" Torgo theme to Torgo himself who was supposed to be some kind of goat person but just looked like he'd crapped himself to an ending implied paedophilia.

  33. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    Bad movies

    Year One - what tripe. A whole year's worth. A movie sooo bad, even my teenage son wanted to walk out, and we did.

    10,000 BC - could have been an OK movie, but cavemen versus Egyptians? Really?

    But the worst offender - The Piano. Yeah, I know it won awards but that's still 121 minutes of my life wasted in the worst possible way. I'd much rather have had to suffer through the last two Terminator films consecutively. Or had boiling sugar poured into my eye sockets while being castrated.

    1. King Jack
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Bad movies

      "Or had boiling sugar poured into my eye sockets while being castrated."

      You sir, should write horror movies.

  34. JaitcH
    Unhappy

    Murphy's pathetic, artificial-sounding laugh ...

    makes me feel sick.

  35. Christian Berger Silver badge
    WTF?

    Titanic?

    I know there's a version by James Cameron, and a cheap knock-off with a rapping dog you might have heard of, but I'd nominate the Orlando Corradi version. The full title is "The Legend of The Titanic",

    Not only because it's english soundtrack sounds (at least on the German DVD release) like it came over a medium wave link, but also because it's amazing way of throwing rhyme and reason over board.

    I mean it gets tiny things wrong, like 1 minute into the film, you see "The Times" with the date "Moday 14 April 1912", OK, in the US the date is written differently, and "Moday" is actually spelled "Monday" and that day in April was actually a Sunday,..... but why does it say "INTERNET EDITION" directly under the title?

    I can understand them using mice to explore that topic, but then again, mice mustaches aren't conductive, and even if they were they wouldn't electrocute someone, and even if they would his nose wouldn't blink, and even if he wouldn't come back to life after he died.

    I can also understand that one might explore the idea of everyone being saved, perhaps even by some strange circumstances, and dolphins are perhaps an interesting idea, and I can understand that in a world where mice can talk it might not be to strange that dolphins can talk too, but why does it have to be caused by tears and moonbeams hitting the ocean, and why does it have to cause the dolphins to be able to levitate???

    And I'm not even talking about the love story, or the subplot explaining _why_ there was an iceberg. (hint: it involves Sharks in prison suits, and a naive dog-faces buff octopus)

    Watch it, if you dare:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaM0FIjz6oM

  36. CowardlyLion

    Ultraviolet

    I nominate Ultraviolet. Despite it managing only a measly 9% on Rotten Tomatoes I still can't help feeling they overrated it.

    1. CastorAcer
      Facepalm

      Re: Ultraviolet

      Visually a stunning film, shame that it was let down by everything else: plot, dialogue, acting, direction, etc. etc.

  37. Bassey

    Never Ending Story 2

    Certainly felt like it...

    1. Christian Berger Silver badge

      Re: Never Ending Story 2

      Come on, part 3 was easily a _lot_ worse.

      1. Bassey

        Re: Never Ending Story 2

        They made a part 3? For the love of humanity!

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IMDB user reviews - a new game!

    Though I usually look at Rotten Tomatoes for movie reviews, I often check out User Reviews on IMDB.

    I looked at 2081 (2009) a short based on a Vonnegut story, and all reviews bar one were very positive. The one negative reviewer was seemingly incensed, so I clicked on his handle to what other films he had reviewed. He would only give films 0 stars or a full 10, and it has occurred to me use his 0-star movies as a shortlist of what to watch next!

    From his reviews, I also find that he drinks Stella Artois, and that if he drinks it he is more likely he is to give a positive review. Now, his pet dog's mother's maiden name, his bank manager's inside leg measurement and his Casio Databank password I'm still working on!

  39. Grease Monkey

    Murphy has been in more bad films than good ones and he's played more bad roles than good ones. Had he not been in so many bad films before this would be surprising. He has appeared in more than his share of turkeys, so it's not surprising in the slightest.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Having seen Manos, I would still nominate "Frozen" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323045/) as worst ever movie. Just ... why?

  41. Eradicate all BB entrants

    All of these posts ......

    ...... and not one mention of 'The Garbage Pail Kids Movie'

    I use it as punishment for my 9 year old son.

    P.S. With that I think I win :D

  42. Garry Perez

    Surf Nazis must Die

    that is all

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

      Silly boy

      It's a *troma* film

      That's like placing a running chain saw against your leg and suddenly wondering why you're falling over.

      You just did it anyway.

  43. Horridbloke
    Windows

    Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

    Sixteen years after the event I still bitterly regret sitting through the thing.

  44. Tom 11
    Mushroom

    I guess you guys have never seen...

    Shark in Venice. Staring the ever infalable acting skills of Steven Baldwin.

  45. thefutureboy
    Stop

    There can be only one

    Highlander 2.

    Why oh why, in the name of all that is pure and holy, why?

  46. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Megaphone

    I am surprised.

    Worst film nominations and nobody mentioned U571?

    Most bad film I can ignore, and they will go away again. U571 is such an insult to what really happened in cracking enigma that it just gets my blood pressure up (and many others).

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: I am surprised.

      Me too. Let's stick it on the list...

  47. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Plan 9 etc isn't a benchmark of bad. That title was unarguably taken by Van Helsing, the only movie I was glad people were texting in because it gave me something marginally more interesting than the movie to watch.

    Best comment: "Well, the tickets were expensive but at least the movie sucked".

  48. Dana W
    Happy

    I've seen far far worse

    Planet of the Dinosaurs, now THIS is a bad movie!

    http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/planet-dinosaurs

  49. John F***ing Stepp

    I use this one for a coaster

    An American Carol.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190617/

    Has coffee stains; I will get my $5 worth out of it.

  50. Stu Pid
    Flame

    One word...

    Melancholia.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Re: One word...

      A film whose title is a fancy word for depression directed by a director with a reputation for directing depressing films who I think has been diagnosed with depression (well he's Scandinavian and they tend to run to the depressed viewpoint. The glass is *always* half empty).

      Was there much doubt this was only going to end one way?

      Melancholic.

  51. Robert Moore
    Thumb Up

    I thought

    I thought Eddy Murphy was already in the worst movie ever made.

    The Adventures of Pluto Nash

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180052/

  52. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    A few suggested rating rules...

    Guns +1

    Hotties +1

    Hotties with guns +3

    Obviously stupid physics -2

    Clever plot +2

    Unsentimental ending +1

    Adaptation of a book by the author and/or there 1st time doing so -3

    More than 3 writers for the movie.

    Members of cast on my s**t list -1 for each member

    Members of cast on my good list +1 for each.

    Points 1 2 and 3 rescue GI Joe, all the Underworld series, Van Helsing and Doomsday and are essentially the plot of Suck Punch (Who didn't see Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction and think "I wonder what Fox Force Five would have been like?) while 4 stuffs Wanted. 5&6 kept me watching Eden Lake, Hard Candy (while parts of me tried to retract back inside myself) and Lucky Number Sleven. I'd say 7 is what made Stormbreaker such a miss able experiences. JK Rowling keep well away from the script for any Harry Potter movie and I think they all benefited from that.

    Authors. Know your place. Learning to write screenplays by writing the first of what you *hope* will be a franchise with 10s (100s?) of $m at stake is *not* a good idea. Really.

    The last 2 are very individual. Some performer *always* manage to choose good pieces to do. Others it's more of a mixed bag. Others just seem to guarantee fail. For every Anger Management you get a Don't Mess with the Zohan and a Big Daddy, with a bonus portion of Jack & Jill, for example. Not pretty.

    I'm partial to Janeane Garofalo and chortled through Romy & Michelles High School Reunion, The Truth About Cats & Dogs and Copland. And Ben Stiller but *boy* did Mystery Men hurt. Almost *nothing* will make me abandon a film I've put down cash to view but I came close that day.

    See how this helps you plan your viewing and happy viewing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A few suggested rating rules...

      Aw, come on. Mystery men was *fun* schlock! How can you hate a movie about a city full of superheroes that focuses on the low-rent ones? William Macy was absolutely hilarious as The Shoveler (superpower? "I shovel very well."). And Invisible Boy, who can only turn invisible when nobody -- including him -- is watching? Brilliant!

      1. Bassey

        Re: A few suggested rating rules...

        Never seen Mystery Men - but after that description I REALLY want to

  53. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    To be fair

    Maybe the graphic novel on which Mystery Men is based is better.

    I'll admit their are some neat *bits* but the don't happen nearly often enough. Eddie Izzard's dedication to the idea that "Disco is not dead" has a certain charm and I'd like to have seen more of some of Casanova Frankenstein's partners in crime.

    For low rent super heroes trying to sort themselves out I'd go with "The Return of Captain Invincible."

    Alan Arkin is Hancock 3 decades before Will Smith. Christopher Lee has a musical number (I'm *fairly* sure it's his only song in 9 decades). What's not to love?

    1. jason 7
      Happy

      Re: To be fair

      There was a line in Mystery Men that made me and my mate spray cola out our noses in the cinema.

      Simply Wes Studi saying "You dress like a male prostitute!"

      For some reason it just came across so hilarious. That gives it a pass in my opinion.

  54. Irony Deficient

    Yet another opinion …

    In my view, the film Windows (1980, in those halcyon pre-PC days) continues to hold its spot against all competition at the nadir of filmed entertainment. It was nominated for five Razzies in 1981 — Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay — and inconceivably took home none of them. It was robbed.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Yet another opinion …

      "In my view, the film Windows (1980, in those halcyon pre-PC days) continues to hold its spot against all competition at the nadir of filmed entertainment. It was nominated for five Razzies in 1981 — Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay — and inconceivably took home none of them. It was robbed."

      On IMDB it looks like some quite promising soft core pron.

      I suspect the reality falls *far* below the expectation.

  55. Andy D 1

    I take it that none of you saw "Gerry" then?

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Gerry

      I guess you mean the Gus Van Sant movie of 2 guys who go walking in the desert without food or water.

      It doesn't sound like much happens and I suspect not a lot does. In right hands this could be a profound mediation on the nature of friendship and sacrifice in adversity.

      But personally I think within 5 minutes I'd be wondering "How could you be so f***ing stupid while managing to stay alive."

  56. Sparkypatrick

    Some very poor films nominated...

    and some terrible slanders of others, e.g. Hudson Hawke. However, if you think Murphy can be bad, check out Bill Cosby in Leonard Part 6. The only good thing I can say about it is that there are no parts 1-5.

    By far and away the worst film I have ever seen - and yes, I have seen most of the preceding nominations. Not that Shark In Venice number, though. That does sound truly god-awful.

  57. perlcat
    FAIL

    ...;but, but, but

    What about Ishtar?

    1. Juan Inamillion

      Re: ...;but, but, but

      Just finished reading 'Star', the biography of Warren Beatty. The stories about how his films were made are fantastic. Ishtar was indeed a turkey but apparently a worse one was his 'Town and Country'...

  58. Heathroi
    Pint

    Pearl Harbour

    Never before have the Japanese Imperial Navy made a more welcome appearance in a film about the start of the Pacific War.

  59. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    I think it's difficult to make a film that stays either good *or* bad over time.

    Citizen Kane lost to How Green Was My Valley but how many people have ever *seen* the latter?

    Likewise Hudson Hawk's reputation has (slightly) risen over the years. Probably not too popular in the UK but plenty of cinematic in jokes some surprising casting and it did not take itself too seriously. "Breaking it down for the 'hoes back home" is not something I'd ever expect Richard E. Grant to say.

    But I wonder what movies have been released and people at the time said "This is s**t" and 2,3,4 or more decades later still say "This is s**t" ?

    I'm not talking fast and furious straight-to-DVD stuff. That's a given.

    I mean something that actually got to a *cinema* that a recognized studio spent some reasonable cash on but still turned out s**t.

    1. Irony Deficient

      Perhaps it’s a second tier superpower?

      John Smith 19, I saw Windows in a cinema, thought poorly of it at the time*, and still think poorly of it three decades on. I don’t know which studio made it or what its budget was, though. I can only hope that generations yet unborn will be spared exposure to it in any media format.

      * — Spontaneous heckling improved its entertainment value, which made sitting through it bearable to me. When the final credits started rolling, the remaining audience roundly booed it.

    2. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: I think it's difficult to make a film that stays either good *or* bad over time.

      Personally, I rate "Citizen Cane" as on of the most over-rated piles of steaming manure ever committed to film. Boring, badly acted, and with absolutely no point whatsoever - I really don't understand why it is so highly regarded.

      However, the worst film must come from the never-ending spew of "plucky girl makes good in a nasty world" genre. Some are good, but many are so banal they are just an utter waste of time.

  60. Juan Inamillion
    Alert

    OK

    ANYTHING with that fuckwit Adam Sandler.... And STILL he turfs them out.... He should be taken outside and pelted with his own shit. He is quite without doubt the unfunniest man in the universe. 'Jack and Jill' ffs...

    Hey hey hey! I've just realised - no one's mentioned Steven Seagal yet! Taught at the Plank School of Acting. Actually that's probably a good thing, otherwise these comments will get drowned.... His films seem to be on continuous rotation on UK Channel Five (I think) at the moment, rendering it even more unwatchable.

    1. adnim Silver badge

      Re: OK

      "And STILL he turfs them out.... He should be taken outside and pelted with his own shit."

      Thanks for making me laugh but I really think he should be pelted with shit that he is totally unfamiliar with.

  61. micheal

    lets add

    Open water was a waste of almost 2 hours of my life

    If it was based on a true story, and they both died, how did the scriptwriter know what happened overnight?

  62. Egregious Egregious

    Manos, Hands of Fate

    The worst move ever made was ""Manos, Hands of Fate," but maybe Eddie will do a remake?

  63. yellowlawn
    FAIL

    Worst Film

    And are we really forgetting this film:

    Gordon Ramsays' - Love's Kitchen which only took a paltry £121 at the box office. Yikes

  64. Sedo
    Thumb Down

    Two Headed Shark Attack

    Well, my nomination would go to Two Headed Shark Attack. You would think, from the title that it would be quite good. I mean, a shark, with two heads, attacking.... what could go wrong? And it has Carmen Electra..... but no. Really, just.... no!

  65. John 62

    Turkish Star Wars?

    Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam

  66. min

    recently saw something called...

    ...Sleeping Beauty recently. it was pure, unadulterated shit. after the credits rolled there was this numbing silence in the room. the GF (who suggested we watch it as it looked 'interesting') had this look of both perplexment and terror on her face. i suppose watching that TRASH was worth it from this point of view, but as i try to recall scenes oor dialogue from the film, i realise my brain has helpfully blacked out any memory bar the title just so i know to avoid it at any cost.

    i think the only lucky one in that entire movie is the lead actress, since she gets to sleep through the whole sordid mess.

  67. teaPotHandle

    Ever? when did the world end?

    As with all polls whith the words 'best of' of 'worst of' in them, this is ridiculous.

    The world as we know it has NOT ended. This poll (and all the money grabbing, originality vacuum compilation albums which come out near public holidays) should be called 'the best/worst [whatever] SO FAR' or 'TO DATE'.

    There is always scope for something better or worse to come along, as the innapropriate touching of the original Star Wars by George Lucas proves!.

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