back to article Busty blogger bursts Bulgarian airbag in mud-wrestle blunder

A silicone-enhanced Swede has added mud wrestling to the list of activities it's best to avoid if you've had a jub job, after dislodging one of her implants during a reality TV show. "Buxom" blonde Lina Hellqvist was competing in Djungelns Drottning ("Queen of the Jungle") as one of ten "beautiful big city girls" when she …


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  1. EddieD


    I don't think you ever need to justify stories about boobs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Seriously...

      Pics, or it didn't happen.

      1. Velv Silver badge

        Re: Seriously...

        Reality TV show - should be on YouTube by now

      2. Bob H
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Seriously...

        I've checked, I would kick it out of bed for making crumbs.

        Big boobs? yes. Attractive example of the species: No.

        Paris... because

  2. Audrey S. Thackeray

    That Is The Price Of Plastic

    Mam bang, thank you ma'am.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "Hellqvist is apparently a blogger. That's good enough for us."

    Apparently so.

  4. Paul Woodhouse


  5. Grease Monkey

    I knew there had to be a reason why those PIP ones were made with industrial grade silicone.

  6. JimC
    IT Angle

    IT angle - Djungelns Drottning

    And what's more, if you squint enough Djungelns Drottning nearly looks like Dungeons and Dragons...

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: IT angle - Djungelns Drottning

      No... it looks like Dungeons and Drottning!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Won't someone think of the children!?!

    "using hairspray to light a fire"

    Ah, the good old shrapnel grenade approach.

    1. ravenviz

      Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

      Surely using the flame that lights the hairspray could light a fire.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

        Yes, that is the simple intelligence test that decides whether you undertake the optional Darwinian survival test of making it through the rest of the show without fingers.

        But for the digitally challenged users, there's the potential for further reality shows that follow them learning to live with toes on their hands.

        1. dotdavid
          Thumb Up

          Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

          Reminds me of that Tom Hanks film when he's on a (very sunny) desert island and spends most of the film trying to light a fire by rubbing sticks together rather than use his broken glasses and the overabundance of sun.

          1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

            Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

            Was Tom Hank's character short sighted or long sighted? Short sighted specs would be useless for firelighting.

            1. Danny 14 Silver badge

              Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

              nah, as a budding ant killer as a kid I put a drop of water on my concave lens. Worked a treat.

            2. Wombling_Free

              Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

              "Short sighted specs would be useless for firelighting."

              Hey, don't spoil hundreds of good plot devices with facts!

              Yes, 'Lord of the Flies' I'm looking at you. (Piggy was shortsighted, so there is no way they could have lit a fire with his glasses)

              Also - try lighting a fire with broken glass.

              No, take your time. I'll wait.

              1. I think so I am?
                Paris Hilton

                Re: Won't someone think of the children!?!

                Could you not just flip the lens over? Most glasses have 2 lens?

  8. ravenviz

    What a tit

    That is all.

  9. K Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Check out her blog...

    Hu hu huh huh ... come to beavis!!

  10. Trollslayer Silver badge

    It's Friday

    It's El Reg.

    It's reality(?) TV.

    1. dogged

      Re: It's Friday


  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can't believe, and am seriously disappointed that

    no one has made the obligatory

    "When she found out she must have felt a right tit."

    comment yet.

    Shame on you, jubtards.

  12. Geoff Webber
    Paris Hilton

    Its all Dutch to me!

    @K I checked out the blog but its all in a foreign language!

    Paris, because she would have impressive air bags used to that kind of treatment.

  13. Khaptain Silver badge

    Think about the testicles......!!!!!!!!!

    I am just glad that "Testicle Jobs" are not "a la mode".

    A kick in the nads is already painful enough, imagine that it is then followed up by a small explosion as the false testicle(s) bursts , nasty, nasty thought.

  14. Pastafarian

    Can you feel it?

    >> She said of her rogue implant: "It feels really bumpy and bubbly."

    I need to feel it for myself to confirm that.

    As the saying goes "I feel like a right tit" (or a left one, I am not fussy)

  15. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
    Thumb Down

    It's obscene

    And I don't mean in a good way.

    In a really nasty, horrible, self-obsessed and mutilated kind of way.

    I love women. I really do. Through my life most of my 'bestest' friends have been women. I also don't hate my mother. But if I ever met a woman who had her flesh ripped out and plastic injected there, for let's face it - beyond vanity purposes (I am not talking about re-constructive cosmetic surgery here - that is just fine in my book and I have no problem with that at all), then I just would not be able to take her seriously as a human being any more. I would ask her why she has done what she has done, and I doubt that more than one reply out of a hundred could convince me it is a 'good thing'.

    I love women - I love their imperfections. I also respect their right to do what the hell they like with their own bodies. But I just don't get it.

    Maybe I am a man that loves too much.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's obscene

      > I love women - I love their imperfections. I also respect their right to do what the hell they like with their own bodies. But I just don't get it.

      Are you me?

      It's not even vanity as such, it's second hand vanity from society's increasingly retarded view of what a human should look like. It's a gullibility that is somehow worse than vanity, and it's not just women.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Don't get me started on cosmetics!

        An entire industry based on robbing women of their self confidence and selling it back to them

  16. Big_Boomer Bronze badge


    If you've ever felt one you will notice that it's cold.

    An ex had to have one Funbag installed due to cancer.

    With one real and one silicone you can really tell the difference.

    Chances are it's down to reduced blood flow.

    Pint coz it's hometime on a FRIDAY! :-)

  17. NozeDive


    @Bradly You imply that you have yet to have met a woman with implants for purely cosmetic reasons, yet you already decided that no woman who has ever done that is of so little worth that you would not be able to "take her seriously as a human being.".

    Boy howdy ya sure do sound smart!

    I've met two nurses and one doctor with boob jobs. They seemed pretty human to me.

  18. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

    That is probably the least of her worries

    Good luck to her.

    Hell go for broke and get the other one done too!

    Then when I ask her: WHY? - She can watch my jaw drop in submission at her reply.

    All respect to women that take that path. May it be the end of their worries.

    To do it to be the biggest Alpha bitch on the block is (as I said before) obscene.

    Now, I'm open to suggestion here. Help a brother out, sister. Please explain why you do what you do. S'il vous plaît.

    And I'm not a prude. I'm a raging fucking pervert if you must know, but it's not really any of your business. It's their right to mutilate their bodies. It's my right to look down on them and want to have nothing to do with them (sexually, love-wise, etc..)..

    Then again, last time I looked, my opinion counted for sweet FA, when I counted the number of atoms in the universe, compared to those in my body. Feel free to be enraged, or just ignore.

    It's Friday. And tomorrow is Caturday.

  19. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance


    I think you got the wrong end of the tit (sorry, stick) with what I said.

    Can you go back and read it again, just to check that you really meant to say what you said.

    If so, then we can joust. Ad Hominem against me, I could (not) care less. But I sense a deeper inference to your insult, against women in general, if I understand correctly. And that will not stand my good man.

    Please clarify your position.

  20. Martin Huizing

    To Bradley (and friends)

    Don't attack the women for having low self esteem and feeling like misfits in today's society. Peer pressure, biased self image when looking at airbrushed (sorry: PS'd) anatomically correct (sorry: disproportionate) models and, of course, "my guy likes them big, so see what I got him for his birthday!" attitude.

    Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance, you said you want to know what's going on in a woman's mind who has this kind of surgery? Some actually feel better about it afterward. Increased self awareness, more confident and more outgoing. These are not always the women that go for extremely large sizes. I have less respect for those who want to impress their man or insert an excessive amount of silicone just to show of.

    For a certain group of women it helps. Others need to be informed better (educated) in an educational environment at an early age (early teens).

    1. phen

      The uncanny (hills and) valley

      Personally I find implants just as attractive as when guys get grooves lipoed into their beer guts. Which is to say, not at all. It looks unnatural no matter how good the surgeon is.

      You'd think in this day and age we'd have treatments involving dietary changes and (in severe cases) hormone therapy. You know, actually promoting the underlying fertility you're trying to emulate.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This article just killed any interest I had in watching a Swedish chick mud-wrestle.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. John Smith 19 Gold badge


    And yet *epic* at the same time.

  24. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    Another reason why it's called "the boob tube"!!

    That's all I've got.

    (and I guess now that ye olde cathode ray tube has been conqured by LCD or plasma, there is isn't even a tube anymore!)

  25. jungle_jim

    speaking of tits

    My fiancée lands today, i haven't played with her funbags in 10 weeks!

    They are big natural puppies


    D'oh because her sister is travelling with her, so ill have to wait until bed time.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    population reduction

    tell our women that they should have plastic in their boobs then you wonder why society is fucked now hello

  27. Suburban Inmate

    Playmobil Prversion please!

  28. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    But if the implant technology is good enough....

    How would you *know* they were fake?

    Just asking.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Most female wrestlers have implants these days to please the viewers who want to imagine you can have 10% bodyfat and breasts. This is the first example of them causing problems I've heard of, besides a few complaining that certain holds stop them breathing anyway.

  30. Big Al

    Wait, what?

    "Hellqvist is apparently a blogger. That's good enough for us."

    I am shocked, *SHOCKED* I tell you, that El Reg has sunk to the level of needing to justify its content in this way, and am deeply disappointed that its esteemed journalists are now pandering to the pedantic in this manner!

    An immediate return to the previously high standards enjoyed by your organ should be a priority!


  31. Belgarion
    Thumb Up

    "A silicone-enhanced Swede"

    "mud wrestling"

    "jub job"

    "Buxom blonde"

    "mammary mishap"


    "Bulgarian airbag relocation procedure"

    "to get their hair straighteners started without electricity".

    Be honest - you made all this up, didn't you? Or someone was watching either an episode of the Twilight Zone or a porn short. And if it wasn't the latter, it SHOULD be!

  32. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

    So she felt better about herself..

    That's good.

    The personal is just that.

    It is personal.

    I would not have a clue what it would feel like to have bits of me cut off for medical purposes and then have it 're-constructed'. This is not my field and I know nothing about it.

    But I will say this: I am a coward - I bet I would not handle it very well - and it wouldn't even be me in the firing line - it would be the one I loved. And what use would I be to her? I am not a strong man. I am certainly not as strong as a woman.

    I'm just some prick on a message board blahing on, that hopes bad luck don't come his way. For those it has: Do what you have to do.. I really won't judge you in real life. This is just theory and conjecture, in my book..

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