back to article Life-size Portal gun to shoot onto shelves soon

Despite the fact they generally sit on the mantlepiece as a decorative reminder of where one's interest lies, replica weapons are a big business and gaming enthusiasts are an eager audience to target. Fans of Valve's Portal franchise are the latest group in sight. They're being pitched with this 1:1 scale model from the series …

COMMENTS

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  1. jai

    oh i want one, i want one!!!!

    where's the cake?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There is no cake.....;)

      1. g e

        Ohh but there WAS cake!

        Right at the end where the robohand snuffs out the candle on one....

        Cake was not lies!

  2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

    Shurely

    Holy moley? HOLEy moley, surely?

  3. CADmonkey
    Happy

    Does it come with a Potato accessory, or do we have to use our own?

    speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Rob Quinn
    Coat

    The cake is a...

    Ok i'll be going, mines the one with Aperture Science on the back.

  6. Southern
    Joke

    In related news...

    Burglar uses portal gun to burgle houses while leaving no trace of entry/exit. Police advise people to live in metal houses.

    1. Greg J Preece

      Just make sure your walls aren't grey, you'll be fine.

      1. Kane Silver badge

        or covered with ground up lunar rock.

    2. Doc Dish
      Coat

      Nice job breaking it, hero.

  7. stucs201
    Thumb Up

    This is a triumph...

    ...making a note here: huge success.

    1. Kane Silver badge
      Go

      It's hard to overstate my satisfaction

      1. Lupus
        Boffin

        Aperture Science; we do what we must, because we can.

        1. TimeMaster T
          Boffin

          For the good of all of us.

          Except the ones who are dead.

          1. Kane Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

            You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

  8. Kane Silver badge
    Happy

    Does it make shoes for orphans?

    shutupandtakemymoney.jpg

  9. TechnicianJack
    Joke

    So will they keep producing these until they run out of cake? Or until VALVE makes a copyright claim?

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Gimp

      I'm sure Valve gets its cake from this.

      Also, is that cheap plastic I spy? Cave Johnson wouldn't be pleased.

      1. g e

        When life gives you cheap plastic...

        Need I say more?

  10. hi_robb
    FAIL

    Hmm

    You can buy this from the usual online portals..

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Greg J Preece

    April, you say?

    Guess when my birthday is. :-D

    1. toxicdragon

      17th topperuary?

  13. SYNTAX__ERROR
    FAIL

    Rubbish

    "...it could be used to startle any burglars into leaving a rather smelly DNA depositary behind as they dash for the window in which they entered."

    Not only is this a horribly-formed sentence, but 'depositary' is an incorrect spelling of the wrong word.

    It's also worth mentioning that faeces do not reliably contain DNA, as such comprises waste products from food, and not necessarily cells that have been made in the body.

    1. mhoulden
      Holmes

      <-- strangely appropriate icon

    2. Dcope
      Alert

      but..

      Surely the only human DNA would be yours?

  14. Z-Eden
    Joke

    What? No potato add on?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1:1

    Where did they get an original to take measurements from?

  16. The Axe

    Airport security

    Since airport security theatre is all geared up to confiscate devices that look like a gun, I wonder what they would do with this "gun".

    1. Lockwood

      As you pass through the Airpor Unauthorised Item Emancipation Grid, your Apeture Science Handheld Portal Device may be emancipated. Aperture Science would like to apologise for the incovenience this may cuase to your continued testing.

      Loss of valuable equipment will result in an unsatisfactory test result.

  17. Mark Reed
    Coat

    Long Fall Boots?

    Better ask GLaDOS when the Aperture Science Long Fall Boot is being released as one would want to protect ones investment at that price :)

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. Crisp Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Finally!

    Now everyone can do science!

  20. perlcat
    Coat

    Meh. Old tech.

    Prior art developed and exploited by B. Bunny and W. E. Coyote in the fifties.

  21. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Pint

    Waiting for Friday

    Thus related:

    Portal: No Escape (Live Action Short Film by Dan Trachtenberg)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk

  22. Jambo Widetrousers
    Coffee/keyboard

    Google Translate FTW

    The page translation is fun, but the page title even better:

    "Beans torpedo head office: Store Figures - / Neka system portal / portal device Prop Replica (s) and / or game"

    ;-)

  23. YARR
    Boffin

    One for the lawyers...

    So what legal steps are required to lawfully make and sell replicas of fictional objects like this? Would you need some kind of license / written agreement from Valve or can anyone do this?

  24. FozzyBear Silver badge
    Coat

    Time to get my mind out the gutter

    Reading the Headline and subheading I thought this was some new Glory Hole fetish and the Reg had forgotten the NSFW tag. Opening the article and seeing the picture I was still going with the NSFW.

    I'm leaving. The coat with the tissues in the pocket... thanks.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Had a search - what a yuk idea

      Keep up with the rest of us!

      Glory holes - I'm sticking with portals.

      Only good use for glory holes is playing whack-a-mole.

  25. Gareth 18

    Hmmmm

    One thing I have always wanted to know is...where's the trigger?

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