back to article Newt Gingrich wants Moon to be 51st US state

Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich is telling the people of Florida about his plans for a permanent base on the Moon, and suggesting it may be possible for the satellite to become the 51st US state. "By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the Moon, and it will be American," he told supporters at …

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  1. oldredlion
    Mushroom

    "Newt Gingrich wants Moon to be 51st US state"

    And they called Ron Paul a loony!

    1. Bush_rat
      Joke

      PUN ALERT

      And they're calling Newt Gingrich a Lunar-tic

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Trollface

        re: pun alert

        I used to have a pet salamander. I called him tiny because he was my newt.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Technically not a pun since Lunatic already derives from the word for moon.

      3. Roger Paul
        Trollface

        When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Trollface

          And when a mirror was stolen the next day police said they were looking into it.

          1. TeeCee Gold badge
            Coat

            Then someone broke in to the police station and stole all the porcelain fittings from the bathroom.

            The police said they had nothing to go on.

    2. LateNightLarry
      Mushroom

      "Newt Gingrich wants Moon to be 51st US state"

      Newt GinGRINCH makes Ron Paul look totally sane... My question is... how does Newtie propose to pay for this 51st state idea and the rockets to Mars? I suppose he'll propose additional tax breaks to the 1%, and eliminate Social Security, Medicare, and unemployment insurance... in other words destroy any remaining vestiges of the safety net for the weakest of the weak, and the poorest of the poor.

      /political rant

      Nukyular explosion... The RepubliCANT plan for the 99%...

      1. BristolBachelor Gold badge
        Trollface

        "how does Newtie propose to pay for this 51st state idea and the rockets to Mars?"

        I suppose that he could get the US to stop invading all over the world and spending $10000000000000 a day in stupid wars?

        1. Bill Neal
          Meh

          "I suppose that he could get the US to stop invading..."

          Newt also recently said he believes ALL of America's enemies should be destroyed, Which seems just as unlikely an accomplishment.

      2. Joe Zeff
        Stop

        How does Gingrich expect to pay for this?

        If you'd read the article, you'd have seen that he plans to offer prizes. The neat thing about a prize is that it doesn't cost the government one red cent unless somebody wins it. And, if you'll look at history, you'll see that offering prizes has a long, successful history. Charles II offered a prize of ten pounds of gold to the first person to work out a practical way to deturmine the longitude of a ship at set, and paid it to the inventor of the first chronometer. Charles Lindburg made his flight to win a prize, and there have been many other examples.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "paid it to the inventor of the first chronometer"

          Don't think so - the prize was ~£10000 and it wasn't until the mid-18th Century that this was achieved.

      3. Figgus
        FAIL

        @LateNightLarry

        "I suppose he'll propose additional tax breaks to the 1%, and eliminate Social Security, Medicare, and unemployment insurance... in other words destroy any remaining vestiges of the safety net for the weakest of the weak, and the poorest of the poor."

        Social Security doesn't need to be eliminated, it needs to be phased out. Most people (especially younger ones) would be better off investing that 13.4% of their paycheck instead of hoping the government will be able to honor that debt when the time comes. Social security is one of the biggest farces ever pawned off on us as a "good idea". That said, people that built their retirement around it should not be cut off, the debt must be honored for all.

        Most people don't mind reasonable medicare and unemployment insurance too, but you'll have to excuse me for thinking that TWO YEARS is a little long for unemployment. I was on it, I know people on it, and right now it is thought of as a paid vacation more than anything else. It's purpose is to keep the ship from sinking while you find a new job, and it is failing MISERABLY at that right now.

        As far as the weakest of the weak, the poorest of the poor... Excuse me for not really caring. I work, I bust my hump to put food on the table and a roof over my family, and I don't need a bunch of bleeding heart twats making me feel bad for expecting everyone else to do the same. People are where they are due to decisions they make, and those decisions were nobody's but their own.

        When I lost my job, we had just had a kid and had no money... BUT because I had been working up to that point, we didn't qualify for ANY help. Those social programs you tout don't help people who are "down on their luck", they help people who have never done the right thing in life EVER. People like that don't deserve my pity, help, or tax dollars.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Funny tho'...

          ...that so many people decided to give up work and live in their car at the same time.

    3. Lord Midas
      Pint

      It's a drug

      As far as I knew the 51st State was a rave drug. "POS 51, a synthetic drug that can be produced with minimal facilities, is 51 times as potent as ecstacy, opiates, amphetamines, and cocaine". Samuel L. Jackson made it and helped Robert Carlyle get tot he Liverpool v Mancs game (Liverpool won).

      1. Cunningly Linguistic

        It's just unfortunate that it wasn't Newt in the boot!

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          Sir

          Did anyone else read that title as New Grinch?

    4. LarsG

      I WILL NOW MOVE...

      to the USA and vote for him.

  2. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    why not?

    If Newt's riding the rocket, I've got $20 to kick in toward the fuel.

    Americans in middle age or older may remember the one-term senator Harrison Schmitt, who had been to the moon with Apollo 17. He was not an engaging speaker, as I recall, but as a geologist he had realistic notions of the economic prospects of moon colonization--one needs to distinguish "mineral" from "ore", he said. But maybe he was too tied to 50-year-old technologies.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ disgruntled yank

      If Newt's riding the rocket, I've got $20 to kick in toward the fuel.

      Careful there, you might get enough like minded people to kick in $20 so that he actually has enough fuel to get there, as opposed to half way there.

      1. LateNightLarry
        Pint

        Newt GinGRINCH

        Maybe we could get enough people to kick in for fuel so that we can get Newt's ride to the point where it breaks free of the Earth's gravity well, and not quite to the point where the Moon's gravity well takes hold, and in that brief moment, the rocket will turn and fall into the Sun... If we can do that, put all the other RepubliCANTs in there for a ride too... and all the Tea Party Troglodytes...

        Wine o'clock somewhere, and I need a Magnum or two to celebrate that thought...

        1. sisk Silver badge

          @LateNightLarry

          Newt really shouldn't be a Tea Party darling. I have no idea if he is or not, but his political history SHOULD make him about the last canidate in the world for a Tea Party endorsement. That man's had his hand on more pork barrel bills than any two other people who are or were in the race.

      2. Eddy Ito Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        @AC

        "Careful there, you might get enough like minded people to kick in $20 so that he actually has enough fuel to get there..."

        So what's wrong with that? As long as he can't get back, I don't see the problem.

    2. Figgus

      Strap Obama to it and I'll chip in $50, and I suspect a majority of working Americans would do the same.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    get in line ..

    :Newt Gingrich wants Moon to be 51st US state". Israel is the 51st, Australia the 52nd ..

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Go

      You beat me

      Though I was going to say Australia would be states 51 thru 58 well before the moon would get a base.

      1. LateNightLarry
        Pint

        But I was going to suggest that Canada would be the next thirteen states after Israel. Then we'd get down to Oz...

        Wine O'clock... need another glass to clear my thinking...

    2. eurobloke
      Trollface

      51st state

      You forgot Great Britain.

      1. Cunningly Linguistic
        Trollface

        Shouldn't that be Mediocre Britain these days?

      2. Irp
        Coat

        Re 51st State (GB)

        Great Britain isnt the 51st State, it's the Forward Operating Airbase!

      3. Graham Marsden
        Big Brother

        @51st state

        No, we're Airstrip One...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 51st State (GB)

          New Model Army wrote a song about that 25 years ago.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUefzNi_pX4

    3. Bill Neal
      Go

      51st state

      forgot Puerto Rico, and most of the carribean while you're at it

    4. Dave Walker
      Coat

      Canada? 5.5

      Decimal for the Metric system!

  4. Hoagiebot
    Thumb Down

    I for one was extremely upset by the retirement of the U.S. Space Shuttle without a viable replacement reusable orbiter already developed, tested, and sitting on a Cape Canaveral launch pad ready to go, but there is a big difference between rallying for the restarting of the U.S. manned space program and *this.* I am all for being optimistic, but how can Newt possibly think that the U.S. could ever be able to even get to the moon in 8-years let alone have a permanent base located there after NASA has already been slashed, burned, and gutted so badly and our national budget deficit is so high that we have no money left to fund such an endeavor? Private enterprises aren't going to fund such a venture unless there is some serious money to be made to make up for all of the risk involved, and I seriously doubt that the materials that the moon happens to be made of is worth that kind of investment and uncertainty from a business standpoint. Either Newt is completely out of his mind, or he is really trying to blow some serious smoke up the asses of out-of-work Florida voters.

    As an American, I am pretty embarrassed by both Newt and the impression that he is giving to the rest of the world right now with these kind of statements.

    1. LaeMing Silver badge
      Unhappy

      I'd go with the second.

      Politics in general and US politics in particular is all smoke and enemas.

    2. LateNightLarry
      Paris Hilton

      Space Program...

      Of course Newtie doesn't have a viable way to pay for it... He plans to pay for the New NASA Program the same way Dubya paid for two wars... tax breaks for the rich to stimulate the economy... Never mind that the one percent have all their money stashed in Swiss bank accounts or otherwise off-shored...

      Paris can stimulate me anytime...

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

        Swiss bank accounts or otherwise off-shored

        Maybe that's why Newton Leroy wants to go to the moon... the off-shore opportunities.... send an investigator to the moon to investigate dodgy banking, sorry that too expensive.

        And of course the RePubeLickians would love the moon, they'd be able to tax the air you breathe to give tax breaks to the 1%

        1. Grease Monkey

          "I for one was extremely upset by the retirement of the U.S. Space Shuttle without a viable replacement reusable orbiter already developed, tested, and sitting on a Cape Canaveral launch pad ready to go"

          I wasn't. Simply because, while space exploration so far has been impressive it is being hit by the law of dimishing returns harder than a very hard thing indeed. Basically while what we have done so far may be impressive to go to the next step would take way more resources than we actually have. The steps we are making are getting smaller but the effort end expenditure for each step is getting bigger and bigger.

          What we have done so far only goes to demonstrate how little we can achieve in future.

        2. Figgus

          Actually, the tax loving overlords are across the aisle. Nice rant though.

      2. Misoriented
        Unhappy

        @LateNightLarry

        "Of course Newtie doesn't have a viable way to pay for it..."

        Of course not. He has no intention of doing any such thing. This was just some lies he told a group of desperate, out of work people so he can get what he wants. It's been pretty clear every time he opens his mouth that he doesn't care about anything or anybody but himself. Not that that sets him apart from his competition much.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Should be perfectly possible

      So long as there's plenty of money to pay for Russian rockets.

    4. sisk Silver badge

      Get to the moon in 8 years? Yeah, that's doable. Tough, but doable. Establish a colony there in 8 years? Not a chance, even with a NASA funded the way it was in the 60s, and any out-of-work space workers know it. What's more, Newt knows it. He's just engaging in the traditional Presidential candidate smoke blowing. I'd be embarrassed as an American if enough people believed him to get him into office.

    5. Originone

      It was about 8 years the first time.

      "I am all for being optimistic, but how can Newt possibly think that the U.S. could ever be able to even get to the moon in 8-years..."

      Manned moon landings was an election promise in 1960 only 2 years after the creation of NASA itself, and 9 years later it happened. Given the advances in technology and the amount of economic growth in the half century since, it could be accomplished in much less time and be significantly cheaper in terms of % of national GDP were they to seriously try again. The only thing really missing is the political will to do so.

  5. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Newt verbal flatulence is a fearful thing!

    "Northwest Ordinance for Space"

    When I was a little kid, I had grandiose plans for SPACE STATIONS! In SPAAACE! I had already chosen the exact color scheme in which I would have them painted. The rest was details. That was long ago.

  6. Muckminded
    Mushroom

    Another fiscal conservative

    who knows how to waste money.

    Can we at least wait for the war with Iran to wind down before cluttering up the moon? Undoubtedly, his first term would involve another field trip to the Middle East.

    1. AnotherBird

      Votes

      It is all about getting votes.

  7. bleh_meh
    Thumb Up

    So nice to see that the raving loony party is back in full force on the other side of the pond.

    1. Quxy
      Facepalm

      Clueless, and proud of it!

      Yep. This is the same candidate who announced, in all seriousness, “If the Soviet empire still existed, I'd be terrified. The fact is, we can afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.”

    2. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      @bleh_meh

      Are you saying Gingrich is a reincarnation of Lord Sutch?!

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Pint

        Not at all!

        Lord Sutch made good sense (occasionally). And he had a better dress sense

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

          Re Sutch's better dress sense

          I'd say comparing the two's dresses is like comparing rotten apples and rotten oranges.

          Otherwise I agree, Sutch made some sense. But wouldn't it be very Sutch-like, from little sense to complete nonsense, from the National TEAnage Party...?

  8. ACx

    Er, Dr Evil was a fictional character, right? This man wants a "moon base", does he? Next thing we know, he'll be banging on about a big "LASER", and preparation "H".

    Sorry, have we slipped in to some really creepy messed up parallel universe?

    1. John G Imrie Silver badge

      Sorry, have we slipped in to some really creepy messed up parallel universe?

      Unfortunately not. This is the real creepy messed up universe.

  9. Deadlock Victim

    I used to work in the same building as Newt

    Right after he left congress. I'd bump into him in the elevator or on the way to the lunch counter. He just exuded this aura of disgust. I don't think we're in any danger of him being elected and trying to seize the moon in the name of 'merica.

  10. Charles Manning

    So what to do with the Chinese?

    Will Newt go into Korean War mode if the Chinese get there first?

    1. James Loughner
      Alien

      You mean those Chinese illegal aliens. Deport them of course.

  11. Crank58
    Trollface

    Newt, the Rocket is standing By

    Obama has cleared you for flight status by special order. We need a dynamic governor at moon base alpha. You are just the man. Your constituents will be up shortly.

    I love the guy screaming about government exceeding its budget, but offering no help.

    A helpful hint, take short breaths, your oxygen will last longer.

    1. Local Group
      Happy

      I hope he doesn't mind a rocket...

      called Phobos-Grunt II. If it gets a little warm, he can open the window.

      1. annodomini2
        Boffin

        They have plenty of LGM-30 Minuteman 3's! ;)

    2. Chemist

      "a dynamic governor at moon base alpha"

      To manage all the telephone sanitizers and hairdressers that'll be arriving soon after.

      HHGG

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And this guy is part of the party that wants to dramatically decrease the government's revenue by cutting taxes on the wealthy. This type of thing simply isn't possible without a LOT of money.

    .

  13. Chad H.

    Well

    Given its probably going to take more than half that time to actually return to a capability of being able to get people to the moon, its clearly not going to happen.

    However it does show that Newt has no concept on what other countries are; as the idea that other countries may have issues with him claiming the moon as American territory clearly has either not occurred to him, or he doesn't care.

  14. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    The 51st State?

    I saw that movie. It's Britain of course. With Australia, New Zealand and Canada (in that order) being the 52nd,3rd and 4th.

    As for Israel . What makes you think its leaders would submit to that much loss of control of their budget. They already influence enough US miltary thinking to get all the money they need from the budget.

    Pretty much *all* candidates will sound enthusiastic about space in Florida. It's the NASA connection. As for having a *funded* plan to get there that's another matter.

    When people want to talk about NASA's "vast* size they emphasize its $18Bn budget.

    When they want to talk about how *small* it is they point out it's 0.5% of the total *federal* budget (not US GDP) and that the Pentagon spend more than *double* that on aircon for it's overseas bases. Or people in the US spend more on home delivered pizzas ($27Bn).

    1. Cunningly Linguistic
      Black Helicopters

      Aren't you forgetting Sweden?

    2. Rampant Spaniel

      Just out of curiosity, what % of the federal budget was it when we were actually sending folks to the moon? I bet matching that today would be expensive!

  15. Eugene Goodrich
    Paris Hilton

    Seriously...

    This is his plan for smaller government and reducing the debt?

  16. _Matty

    I am not a lawyer but...

    Presumably there's a difference between offering american citizenship to lunar residents and making any sort of territorial claim over the moon.

    1. Rampant Spaniel

      You are most likely entirely correct. However, politicians are coated in a layer of bullshit, and one of the remarkable properties of bullshit is that it is completely impermiable to logic, facts or reality. It also seems to leech out all morals and cause long term memory loss, especially when it comes to expense reports and intern shagging.

  17. Grease Monkey

    Do people really believe this sort of shite? Even if they started today there is absolutely no way they could have a permanent moon base by 2020.

    1. Martin
      Happy

      Why the hell not?

      If the political will was there, and the finance was available, it would be perfectly possible.

      If we could start more-or-less from scratch in 1961 and get a moon landing by 1969, then with our additional technical knowledge, and our massively more powerful and efficient computers, I can see no good technical reason why we couldn't have a base on the moon by 2020.

      I agree with you, of course. It'll never happen.

      1. Grease Monkey

        You would have a point if landing on the moon were not so far from a permanently staffed moon base. A permanently staffed moon base would need supplies, a lot of supplies, and that would in turn take a lot of flights and landings to supply. Building the base in the firsr place would take even more. To do this realistically you will need a reusable space truck capable of landing on the moon and returning. A sort of shuttle squared if you like.

        Yes you could do it with non-reusable craft, but imagine having to effectively write off something like an oversized Apollo 17 every time you needed to make a delivery. A reusable craft makes a lot more sense, but nobody has even started building it yet. Developing and building such a craft in time for the base to open would be a tall order, but they would have a lot less than seven years it would need to be operational on the day they began building the base.

        It's a completely empty promise and Newt knows it is. We know the finance is not available, but I don't believe that the political will is their either because I don't believe the man has any intention of following through on this promise should he be selected and happen to get into the white house.

  18. Paul Johnston
    Alert

    Thanks!

    Ever since I read this I've had that bloody "New Model Army" song going through my head!

  19. squilookle
    Pint

    Friday

    "[Singing] We're whalers on the Moon, we carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales and sing our whaling tune"

    1. Lord Midas
      Happy

      ROFL

      Dunno if you just made that up, but it was effin' funny

      1. perlcat
        Coat

        @ Lord Midas

        Futurama.

        Good episode.

        Even if they couldn't carry a tune.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own moon base. With blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the moon base.

  20. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    Bless 'im

    Pandering moron that he is you really do just have to stop in wonderment at the words that come out of his mouth... and think wft is this guy on?

  21. Purlieu

    "By the end of my second term"

    Newt, you're not going to get a first term. Face it.

    1. Lord Midas
      Thumb Down

      President Newt

      Doesn't have a cool ring to it. In fact his whole name should be enough to not get him in.

  22. Herby Silver badge
    Go

    No problem...

    As was once said "We do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard". Some president said this about 50 years ago, or so.

    So, it works for me!

    Disclaimer: I did serve Newt an "adult beverage" once a few summers ago. He seemed like a wonderful guy.

    1. Big-nosed Pengie

      That adult beverage...

      It didn't contain hallucinogenics, did it?

    2. Chad H.

      But he didn't say

      "We also do them because they're in breach of our international treaty obligations"

  23. Herby Silver badge

    As for the 51st state...

    I believe that Canada thinks that it is a wholly owned subsidiary of the USA (or is it the other way around). While I can't speak for Australia, or New Zealand, but they are nice states "down under", and they use dollars as currency.

  24. Big_Boomer
    Alert

    Don't discount Newt

    You'd be amazed where Newts can get to and they are very difficult to get anything to stick to due to their ability to wriggle out of most situations.

    Also remember that he will be up against a negro incumbent and that this is the USA, otherwise known as the country with the worlds highest concentration of Christian Fundamentalists.

    People outside the US will be hoping that Obama will get re-elected, but inside the US they seem to be hankering to put another dribbling moron in the White House.

    1. perlcat
      Paris Hilton

      What.

      To replace the one we've already got?

      Newt's full of shite. Everybody knows that. The idea has some merits, although the violation of treaties and intercelestial body expansion will never fly. I would love to travel to the moon, but have to resort to alcohol for the time being.

      If we keep shooting down big ideas because we think they'll never work or because we hate the politics of the guy proposing it, we'll be joining the same people that told the Wright brothers that it would never fly. A lot of these ideas being vetted in these debates and the runup to the election will play a big part in whatever administration manages to get elected -- unless they are so damned stupid as to not watch the crowd response.

      I did enjoy the "we've done all the learning there is to learn, so no need to go to space." comments. I believe that's been said before in a lot of civilizations.

      PH -- another celestial body I'll never get to explore.

  25. mittfh

    Lunar-tic

    Well, you can't exactly fault him for having high ambitions...

    ...and it certainly beats his main rival's campaign claim to fame:

    'I believe in an America where

    millions of Americans believe in

    an America that's the America

    millions of Americans believe in.

    That's the America I love."

    Oh, and deity help us if any of them do get into power and either invade Iran or shut down its oil and gas production, the bulk of which is sold to the the likes of Russia, China and India. Given that China holds the majority of America's debt, it's probably not a good idea to piss them off too much...

  26. 404 Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Short-sighted Bastards

    Newt has his issues but at least he has some kind of vision & goals, unlike the other three. Those shuttle airframes were certified for 100 flights each - biggest issue was the launch system.

    I detest Obama for killing the shuttle, I feel he has stolen our kids future by this action - no goals, no vision= no future.

    Ya'll laugh, but a moon base would be an excellent choice for exploiting anything the moon may have under the surface, as well as an excellent place to conduct the kind of experiments we cannot do on earth to expand our holdings in space. Anything made or mined on the moon would be relatively easy to retrieve due to being in Earth's gravity well - all downhill.

    NCC-1701 baby! I want it. I'm with Professor Farnsworth - I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Anything made or mined on the moon would be relatively easy to retrieve"

      After burning up on re-entry !

      1. Chemist

        Re : After burning up on re-entry !

        So some people think that a heat shield, steering mechanism and parachutes are going to be feasible for 20000 tonnes of iron ore or whatever

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Obama didn't kill the Shuttle!

      Bush's "Vision for Space Exploration", released in February 2004 (http://www.nasa.gov/pdf/55583main_vision_space_exploration2.pdf) said that the Shuttle should be retired by 2010"

      "Retire the Space Shuttle as soon as assembly of the International Space Station is completed, planned for the end of this decade;"

      By the time Obama arrived, in the middle of a massive financial meltdown, restarting the shuttle program wasn't really practical (more's the pity).

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fifty-second more like

    We (the UK) will eventually become the fifty-first.

    And yes. What a loony.

    1. g e
      Mushroom

      I thought we already were

      Given that the British Military seems to be the deniable elite ops arm of US foreign policy, notwithstanding the way UK.gov bends over every time a ranking Yank politican yells drop 'em city-boy.

      Are we really still owned by the USA following the cost of hiring them as cannon fodder at the end of WWII with our gold reserve & British US-based businesses? Perhaps if we did something to keep our top boffins and inventors INSIDE the UK for a change...

      Kaboom, cos no doubt someone will offer to nuke my scrawny limey ass back to the stoneage for me. As they do.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        We are ...

        Its just not been officially announced yet. I'll give it to 2015.

        By then we'll also have a similar privatised healthcare system with a private health insurance to match.

  28. Zog The Undeniable
    Thumb Up

    So the front runners are:

    Newt Gingrich - old and mad

    Rick Frothybyproduct - homophobic, Bible-bashing and mad

    Mitt Romney - pantomime slimy plutocrat who's more out of touch than Marie Antoinette

    Should be a shoe-in for Obama.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      you'd think so, wouldn't you?

      Unfortunately, Republicans have been told repeatedly over the last four years "anybody but Obama is the #1 goal". And they do seem to vote as instructed, in lockstep, regardless of the qualities of the candidate (look at Bush). So whomever the final GOP candidate turns out to be, the Republicans will vote for him. Democrats don't vote in lockstep, to their detriment.

      1. perlcat
        Unhappy

        What's that they say?

        "Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line."

        I think that's changing, though. The field of candidates is quite off-pissing.

  29. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    In the Gift of Global Operating Devices ...

    Newt can have his fans too if he is serious about delivering the inevitable.

    <blockquote>HonourableMember ….. on http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/2012/jan/26/newt-gingrich-moon-base-dream

    27 January 2012 3:44AM

    Hi, Alok Jha,

    Maybe wily coyote Newt is gonna recolonise the world as if starting on the moon

    ...... http://www.ur2die4.com/?p=1473 ...... drivering Uncle Sam to build Paradise Cities and Seventh Heavens. Dropping pre fabricated units together in the alien environment of space without first having built and realised what is to be built in similar terrain on Earth as a SMART Intelligence Base for Natural Network and NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActive IT Systems Control, would be a recipe for continual failure to lead in Space Exploration and Virtual Colonisation and Population of CyberSpace.

    IT is certainly something all executive administrations on Earth are confronted with and/or advised of here, by virtue of this introduction.

    Moving the Mountain ….. on http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2012/01/23/russia_nasa_moon_station/

    Posted Monday 23rd January 2012 15:20 GMT

    Phil O’Sophical,

    Create a modern population for planetary seeding on Earth, in a Mirror Base Station for Lunar Operations.

    What would you build on the Moon ……. a temporary structure or a work of future art. And when built on Earth, would it be a Universal Progress Model </blockquote> ...... for New Prime Alien Life on Earth.

    Ok ... that 's it lit [light blue touch paper and retire] El Reg, Now .... we wait? :-) .....http://youtu.be/WP6gbxskEuw

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Wait a minute..

    I've been given a plot of land on the moon and that's official (I have a certificate and everything). so If America wants to invade that, they have to go through me first!

  31. CmdrX3

    I'm sure it could be done

    While I think its certainly possible I think its highly unlikely. I'm sure there were many who thought it was a bit of a loony idea when JFK made the moon challenge but with determination, the will and lots and lots of money they succeeded. However, in this case it's nothing more than vote catching from a creepy old politician desperate for a bit of power. Shame really as its the sort of thing we really need to happen to progress space exploration further.

  32. Winkypop Silver badge
    Trollface

    But what about the Nazi base?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034314/

    Oh I get it, they can become US citizens too, like the V2 scientists did in 1945.

  33. g e

    By Newt's reckoning, then

    Space is owned by the Russians cos Yuri got there first.

    Is he called Newt cos of his brain ?

  34. Maliciously Crafted Packet

    The Brits already have a base on the Moon

    and with the help of the token American have been bravely defending earth from hostile UFO's since the 1970's.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE-aBcfs854

  35. stu_ekins

    I suspect Scotland would be the 51st state, under King Sean of Connery.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And pray enlighten us as to why:

      a) Scotland would be a 51st State (do you understand the word "independent"?)

      b) A republic would want a monarch?

      I ask merely for information -- because today has been a relatively laugh-free zone so far.

  36. jake Silver badge

    Newt is a fucking idiot.

    Hopefully the Republicans will nominate him ... for the simple reason that he isn't electable.

  37. Anthony Hegedus Silver badge

    Americans....

    Final and clinching proof that America is the aggressive bully of the world

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      You have more faith in the American electorate than I do.

      1. Grease Monkey

        Jake did you think Bush Jr. was electable? I certainly didn't but the fucker got in.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Frankly, Grease Monkey ...

          ... I haven't thought a single sitting President since Carter was electable. So don't take my political opinions to Lost Wages. IMO, the GreatUnwashed[tm] voting in the clown Ronald Reagan instead of giving Carter a second term is what has lead us into the toilet that we are desperately trying to avoid getting flushed ...

  38. Graham Marsden
    FAIL

    51st state??

    'Outer space, including the moon and other celestial bodies, is not subject to national appropriation by claim of sovereignty, by means of use or occupation, or by any other means'.

    —United Nations, Outer Space Treaty Article 2

    The US signed and ratified this in 1967, but it seems that Newt doesn't consider it to apply to him.

    "All your Moonbase are belong to us!"

  39. SirDigalot

    nearly half

    of the quarter of the half of the people that are eligible or can be bothered to, vote for this twit.

    thats scary...

    yes it was deliberatly complex, america does not like decimals.....

    who calls their kid newt anyway, i mean in aliens i understood, but in real life? newt? maybe his parents liked V

    1. perlcat
      Trollface

      What kind of parents?

      I thought of naming my kid after Sir Isaac Newton. Then I could say "I turned him into a Newt."

      1. Figgus

        Kids

        My kid's middle and last names are actually actually Isaac Newton, so I can already say that. Then again, I've been a newt all my life (hence the nickname playing on Fig Newtons).

        At least I didn't give him that for his first name. I'm pretty certain he'd hate me for it.

  40. AJames
    Unhappy

    The Americans of 100 years ago accepted the notion of conquering a new territory and making it a new state as their natural right. The Americans of 50 years ago were willing to put their efforts behind an impossible dream to go to the moon just to show it could be done. The Americans of 2012 laugh and roll their eyes. The bean counters are quick to point out that it's too expensive...

    1. perlcat
      Black Helicopters

      Agreed with one point of difference.

      For the most part, someone else did the conquering[1], the US bought it up, and the divvying into states was just paperwork after the fact.

      In fact, if the US would ever start to adhere to their constitution, there is no reason other governments could not join as additional states, the original not being much more than a way of aggregating a bunch of individual sovereign states into a superstate that eliminated trade barriers and provided for common defense (Like the EU was supposed to, but failed). Until then, though, other nations are best advised to stay the hell away from the sorry mess we have.

      [1] Yes, I *am* aware of the original inhabitants taking it in the shorts. Most of them were nomads, and not being attached to any particular piece of land, conquering 'territory' makes no sense. Conquering or subjugating the "people" makes more sense in that context.

      People have colonised territory for millenia -- the Greeks and the Phoenicians did a lot of it, amongst others. Their histories tend to not mention what happened to the original inhabitants. Conquering territory that doesn't have original inhabitants would be a nice step up for us as a species.

      1. Grease Monkey

        "People have colonised territory for millenia"

        Indeed they have, but did you ever consider the roots of the word territory?

        1. perlcat
          Joke

          are you proposing a new word?

          'Lunatory'? Newt might be onto something, then. [rimshot]

  41. samlebon23

    Good idea. And it would be better if he ships all the born-again meat heads to the new state. that way they will be floating with their beloved flag. Go! Newt! Go !

    1. perlcat
      Black Helicopters

      Well,

      That's some lovely hate you have going on there. I have no particular love for the born-again types, but draw the line at dehumanising other human beings.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can hear the rednec... I mean core republican voters now.

    Yeah, an' we cun put a huge freakin' guns on it to shoot them mexcun immigrunts.......USA! USA! USA!

  43. Rampant Spaniel

    Hmm, I reckon we could do this pretty cheaply. Wait until night, sit Mitt on one end of a seesaw, push Newt up a ladder and have him jump off. Mitt becomes the first colonist on the moon and Newt probably dies from the exercise. Everybody is a winner!

    Before any repubs get upset, I'm not a liberal, if a republican gets in I just want a smart one. A dumb / bad republican is just as bad as a dumb / bad democrat and lately there sure has been a string of dumb ones. There must be so many intelligent potentials out there, I guess they're too busy making money lol.

    1. perlcat
      Black Helicopters

      No, they know what kind of crap they'll go through

      What some of the better candidates went through is more than enough to deter anybody better than they from running. As long as we vote *against* the greater fear, and not *for* someone we want, we will contiue to get the government we deserve.

      Both the hate machine on the left, and the hate machine on the right need to STFU and let people pick a candidate on something better than crap that ought to be reported in tabloids that also report on the doings of the bat-boy on the moon.

      1. Grease Monkey

        @perlcat

        The whole basis of the process of picking a presidential candidate in the US is based on ensuring that only somebody with one hell of a lot of money behind them can actually run for president.

        US politics is run by big money, but is allegedly a democracy.

        1. perlcat
          Black Helicopters

          Not just money...

          Party machines and dirty tricks. Nasty ones. I have no doubt that the attacks on Cain came, not from the Chicago pols sponsoring Obama, but from the people behind Romney, knowing full well that Obama's people will take the blame. Those attacks make no sense at all from anyone else. If Cain was a womanizer, why nothing for years, cut loose with Mr Happy just for two years in Chicago, then nothing again right up until the campaign? The misdirection is unbelievably heavy-handed here. As low as my opinion of the Obama Administration is, surely they would have thought "Let's get some floozies from *outside* Chicago for this bit, so it doesn't point straight back to us." The same people that hired Rahm are not that unsophisticated about underhanded political attacks and how they can backfire.

          Newt and his camp definitely not that sophisticated to do an attack like this. Loose cannons rarely are. Santorum didn't have the money and the resources at the time, and from what I can tell, still believes he can have an honest debate where the victor gets the votes -- not sure about what his positions on Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are, though.

          As a conservative, I'd vote for Obama before I'd vote for Romney. Honest. I'm not kidding. No shit. I'm serious. I've been a registered Republican for over thirty years. They're indistinguishable from each other policy-wise, but at least the (D) after Obama's name is an honest description, regardless of what I think of his policies. Romney comes down so firmly on *both* sides of every issue that he's *more* of a loose cannon than Newt. Better to have someone you *know* is working against you, than someone that pretends to work for you while they do the opposite. Having Obama as a recruiting poster for the opposition makes it a lot easier to get Congress under control, and that is where the problem is, anyway. They *earned* their sub-15% approval rating for a reason. Congress is not a 'swamp', where one muckraker as in on the take as any can 'drain' it. It is the national toilet, and it needs to be flushed seven or eight times (by *both* parties) before it can even begin to resemble clean.

          I'd be FAR happier if Obama would grow up and stop with the straw men stuff, stop with the scaring businesses from investing, but whaddya expect? He is what he is, and it *works* for him.

          It never *was* a democracy, though, and I'm darned glad of it. People tend to vote for all sorts of things that really aren't in their best interests. Take California's voting against gay marriage, as an example. WTF? I could see that happening in the Bible Belt, but *CALIFORNIA*?

          This is all a distraction anyway, to make the US voter think they have a choice. When they choose, usually the candidate with the nice suit and hair is the one that gets elected for the Beeblebrox position to draw attention away from the real power. Since Barack and Mitt both have nice suits and nice hair, it'll be another toss-up, I suppose.

          Newt is just another false choice in a ticket that was foreordained for us. Any real choice gets taken down. Some conservatives are very predictable. Throw up a hint of infidelity, and they run from the guy in droves. Me, I wouldn't have cared if Cain was banging those women like a screen door in a hurricane -- I just wanted to see what his ideas are like, and consequently, how he could have done the job. What Newt says, being so far out in "Right Field", isn't even going to influence policy, as a *real* opponent's ideas would. These debates are a whole bunch of policy trial balloons, where presidential policy is being fine-tuned. A good, but vanquished opponent's best ideas will be appropriated, while ALL of Newt's ideas will be easily discarded, REGARDLESS of merit.

          Newt got himself stuck in the "incompetent sidekick" role opposed to Mitt, and he'll be the staple of late night jokes for years.

  44. Lars Petersson

    Am I the only one

    All other things aside, am I really the only one who thinks that it's a good thing that at least one politician is using a boost of the space program in his campaign?

    Ok, so it was probably just to get space workers to vote for him, but even so...

    1. Rampant Spaniel

      No, I agree with you. Whilst things like the ISS, the Shuttle and Concorde are expensive, sometimes we do need something to drag us out of mediocrity. My fathers generation put men in space, on the moon, took passengers past mach 2 and the sr71 past mach 3(I think?;-)), mine invented facebook. They designed concorde on paper, with slide rules. Seriously, sit and think about the enormity of designing a mach 2.2 transcontinental passenger jet with a slide rule and log tables. The apollo rockets were not designed on a cad package either and they went to the moon.

      Right now we have a society who, for the majority, have their mindspace occupied by the Kardashians, Simon Cowell and soccer/american football players etc. That is one very sad state of affairs.

      It's about time we got off our collective backsides and started doing some crazy stuff, because once we have a base on the moon, people visiting mars etc, maybe balancing a budget or curing cancer won't seem so daunting and maybe our kids will value their education and aspire to greatness instead of lvling their pixie elf whore on borecraft or trying to get in the audience for big brother.

      We dither on nuclear fusion yet we piss how much up the wall on the premier league and the nfl?

      So yes, Newt's Captain Scarlet fantasies might be his only positive feature!

  45. Keep Refrigerated

    Open the iPod door, HAL!

    Am I the only one naive enough to think that some time in the future space colonisation would put an end to all the ownership of random geographic blobs. Petty wars, borders between "countries" and discrimination based on longitudinal and latitudinal birth location would cease to exist. We'd all become citizens of earth and space would be open for exploration.

    When I heard him say the worlds "...and it will be American." a tiny piece of me died.

    Dave: Play the movie, HAL.

    HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

    Dave: What's the problem?

    HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

    Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?

    HAL: This movie is not available in your sector.

    Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

    HAL: I know that you and Frank were planning to watch a pirated movie. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

    1. Local Group
      Trollface

      HAL (con't)

      HAL: Dave, in the cupboard, there's a ribbed, polymer pocket you might want to slip on instead. It was designed to take your mind off of mediocre pirated movies. I think you might like it, Dave.

  46. Local Group
    Devil

    Newt Notes or Notes on Newt.

    1) Whenever Newt gets married, he makes his bride have a pop-up turkey timer inserted into her breast or white meat and he agrees to stay married to her until the little red button pops up.

    2) If 'dark matter' has a 'dark particle', I propose it be called a 'newtron'. Some boffins will object to a homophone, while others will object to a particle being named after a homophobe. Maybe it's a bad idea.

    3) If Newt gets any fatter, he could be the 51st state.

  47. jukejoint
    Black Helicopters

    Crying time again...

    ...we in the US cannot believe what is passing for serious candidacy in the Republican Party - at least, those of us who are not sociopathic and yearning 'to be led'.

    ...it underscores the pathetic farce of our political system - it's as if they forgot the charade had to be kept up once again in 2012 and en route to the debates they stopped off at the nut farm because it was on the way - and grabbed the first inmates they came across.

    ...

    1. Local Group
      Happy

      Don't forget to include the American voter.

      Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. :-)

  48. Local Group
    Trollface

    Newt campaigns for votes in New York subway.

    Watch Newt Gingrich garner votes in a subway car in New York City. Be afraid, Barak Obama.

    http://gothamist.com/2012/01/26/video_rat_on_the_r_train_sends_stra.php

  49. The Grump
    Coffee/keyboard

    It sounded like a good idea, but...

    the radiation shields were bought from the lowest bidder, and failed to screen out all the solar radiation. They wanted WAY too much for air, and the cost of food was out of this world (no pun intended). I had to hock evenything I had for a ticket back to Earth. I don't know how I will be able to afford the radiation treatment I need.

  50. Ken 16 Silver badge

    We came in peace for all Mankind?

    Did Nixon lie about that too?

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