If this had been the craze
when G W spent his youth cramming the Devil's Dandruff up his hooter, the world might be a very different place.
Kids these days don't need drugs or alcohol to have fun, according to a new study. The latest craze sweeping American youth - and thus, no doubt, British youth in due course - is "Space Monkey", aka "The Choking Game", in which thrill-seeking youngsters strangle or suffocate themselves or each other "in order to achieve a high …
Not really a new craze, does any one else remember doing this at school? We used to do it in teh boys toilets, either mild strangulation or by standing upright against the bog wall and have a fellow school chum press heavily against your chest until one felt giddy.
This was some 16 years ago, god dammit i'm aging!
There you are, in the queue at the pearly gates and St. Peter asks, "OK my son, what lead to your unfortunate demise?".
You reply, "Well, it was like this, it was a dull day so I fixed a jet engine onto my armchair so I could go visit my dear old mum who lives next door. I fired up and got off to a good start but then I think one of those little whirly wheels decided to go in the opposite direction to all the others, got a mind of their bloody own those things have. Anyway, all hell broke loose, everything went tits up and the next thing I know I'm here."
"Ooo..., we haven't had one of you for quite a while, come on in", says St. Peter who then shouts, "Next, you with the blue face what happened to you"
"Well, it was like this, it was a dull day so I fixed a plastic bag over my head for laugh, I don't remember much after that".
St. Peter comments, "Oh God, not another fuckwit, serves you right. Get downstairs.
16 years ago? Gawd/ess, but you're a youngster.
I remember kids doing this in the early-mid 1970s (known back then as "Space Cowboy" or "California Dreaming"). My father remembers kids doing this back in the late forties ("Tingling Game"),
From what I remember, it's an early teen boy thingie. Can't remember why, exactly. No, I never participated, nor did Dad, but we both know folks who did.
Done this in the 80's and I'm sure others did it long before that. Every new generation thinks they are the first to do something that most generations before them have already done. E.g Today they sniff aerosols, in my day it was glue, lighter fluid and petrol, in my great grandfathers day it was probably something like ether.
"every bit as dangerous as - if not more so than - traditional student pastimes such as ... a puff on a jazz cigarette"
To my knowledge, Jazz Cigarettes have yet to cause a death by suffocation from use. Ancillary deaths I grant you some le-way on, but even donning socks is a dangerous pastime.
Someone should tell them [the parents] about autoeroticasphyxiation, cue Christians calling for strangulation being outlawed.... oh wait....
In my day it was 'The Chair Game'. Which was considered safe to do alone. Idea was that if you passed out it removed the choke and broke your fall. I wonder if the moral outrage will drown out the real thing the kids should to learn; the difference between safe and unsafe.. and how to choose the right friends.
I remember that Tory MP.
When his body was found, he was found wearing women's underwear.
But what was most unusual was that the Tory candidate at the ensuing by-election was a man. Normally after a sex scandal, Tory selection committees choose a woman, it's almost a reflex. Presumably on that occasion they asked all the prospective candidates if they'd ever worn women's underwear, and disqualified all those who said they had.
many moons ago when i was a new boy at a new school, i introduced a fainting craze from my previous school that earned me several cool points and likely put an end to the daily abuse....
it involved somebody purposely hyperventiating for a couple of minutes, then talking a deep breath, standing up against a wall with your arms crossed over your chest and having your mate push onto your chest as hard as he could until you fainted.
you woke up rolling around on the floor after a few seconds feeling "high". the kids loved it.
so the point is - i invented this and want some bloody recognition.
Some years ago, there was a rash of people dying in odd auto-erotic asphyxiation incidents, all of whom (strangely) had somehow managed to annoy the British secret intelligence services. One of them, I seem to remember, died while hanging by the neck in his septic tank, suspended from the handle of a garden roller.
Beat that, as you might say
Another way for the 'merkans' to speed up the complete demise of the human race (or most likely the western hemisphere).
As per El Reg standards I think I'll go on with the tried and tested way of deleting brain cells by way of good old alcohol, at least that way I guess I'm helping the economy through my purchase and taxation of it.
No idea if it's raining.
The film is Japanese, but was made by a French company, and there's several spellings of the title, it is sometimes referred to by the closest English translation "In The Realm Of The Senses".
It's probably the strongest non-pron film ever made, although Shortbus probably comes close...
...this is not new... by several decades, not that it is something I've ever fancied trying.
If only there was a harmless, natural, plant like sustance that could provide a high with minimal or even no risk* and has a recorded history of being used for millenia.. oh hang on, I think... ahh shoot.. nevermind somebody put a bloody ridiculous law in the way of that one.
*no risk if vaporized or eaten
Texan teenagers think they're oh-so-clever having discovered a cheap and accessible way to induce a different state of (un)consciousness...
Plano student, Spanky Cowpoke: "Urrr, yah, it's a cool game which, yes, yes, which I invented. Thank you, thank you."
Later: A special report from Vatican City where rumours abound that the Pope has adopted Catholicism as his preferred faith.
Breaking news: We go over to our reporter in the field, live on the scene as a bear is seen shitting in the woods.
Solvent abuse is so passé.
Apnea: the drug of a new generation. "Who needs oxygen?"
a) I just have to say, Texas is the most redneck-filled, screwed up state in the country. And anything you read about Texas (fried butter, almost everyone carrying guns at all times, etc.) does not represent the rest of the US.
b) I've never heard of this... At my high school, if people wanted to get high they just smoked some weed (disclaimer, I am a giant nerd and did not partake). We even had a rastafarian teacher there. They did have to go out to the parking lot, but other than that the teachers and administration looked the other way. It actually worked well, the students that otherwise would have skipped classes, and maybe over time some would have drifted to harder drugs, would instead have their toke and go to class... our school did very well academically, even the stoners.
"But what was most unusual was that the Tory candidate at the ensuing by-election was a man. Normally after a sex scandal, Tory selection committees choose a woman, it's almost a reflex. Presumably on that occasion they asked all the prospective candidates if they'd ever worn women's underwear, and disqualified all those who said they had."
So y'all elect only women who don't wear underwear (e.g., "going commando")? Or, do you also elect women who wear men's underwear?
Da...err, no, wait, I'm not putting my name on this one!
P.S. Mine's the one with the underwear in the pocket.
Those who've room-temperature IQs and snuff it will leave the average population IQ somewhat higher.
Perhaps the gene pool's better off without them!
Corollary: Is this what happens after 50, 60 or 70 years of mainstream sociology? Perhaps it's the sociologists who ought to be first up against the wall.
(In my next life I hope to hell I'm not reincarnated as a native English speaker. In this culture it seems the degenerates are almost fully in control now.)
You can't raise the average population IQ, because by definition the average is 100.
You can raise the average intelligence, but the average person (who would now be more intelligent that a prior average peoson) will still have an IQ of 100.
Ironically, this game will technically lower the IQ of all non-participants. If the average moves up, but you personally don't change, you will decrease relative to the average.
Because the entire state of Texas just nominated itself.
Well done Texas! Keep up the good work!
Remember - these kiddies are going to meet GOD much earlier, and thats a great thing for EVERYONE.
Like Mies Van Der Rohe said: Less is More - this is especially true of Texans.
a couple of inner forearms gently pressed into the neck arteries of a sweet young thang is a much better hit for all concerned.. Breathplay tends to turn into deathplay as soon as it goes solo.
Asphy is the reduction of bloodflow to the noggin.
Easily confused by idiots.
Paris: cos I'd help her with the teethproof poly bag and fifteen laccy bands
We have tremendous over-population so if a few people want to off themselves to help out, it's fine by me. A report last week showed that pedestrians with headphones on that are killed walking in front of cars has increased by 300% so that's another help, but the headphones of course are lost as a result.
was Vaughn Bodé - the artist who penned the fascinating (to young men such as me at the time) Cheech Wizard comic which appeared in National Lampoon. He told his son he saw god, then tried again and died. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaughn_Bod%C3%A9
Fail, 'cause there is no undo button if you do it wrong.
Stu and Artie are loitering outside their local A&P. To break the boredom, Stu challenges his friend -- "I'll give you a dollar to choke the next three blokes who come by."
Artie puts the first guy into a choke hold, snaps his windpipe, and the guy falls to the ground, dead. The same with the next two.
An outraged citizen calls the cops, who arrest the assailant.
The headline in the next morning's paper read, "Artie chokes three for a dollar at A&P."
In my day we just good old fashioned heroin and weed, sometime a little acid or ketamine. I don't know the youth of today .. its sad they are missing out on all the fun thing we used to do. Cant even get qualudes any more. I think kids need to go back to the old glory days and take drugs and have group sex with hairy women.
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