back to article Steve Jobs action figure set for shop shelves

The popularity of collectable figurines may have declined from the golden years of Star Wars statues and Hulk Hogan toys, but when it comes to Apple fanboys, replica models of the late Steve Jobs are sure to be a hot property. While Apple has been a stickler in the past over the production of such models, Chinese company …

COMMENTS

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  1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT) Silver badge

    Is it just me or is the action figure holding that iPhone wrong?

    1. Markl2011
      Happy

      Why are you holding the iPhone wrong? Don't you know it won't work if you do that.

    2. James O'Brien
      Joke

      *cough*

      Does it come with a Kung-Fu Patent grip? Seeing as he probably invented that too.....

    3. Error Message Silver badge
      Gimp

      What does it matter?

      The doll makes great kindling either way.

      1. JEDIDIAH
        Linux

        Not kindling, target practice.

        > The doll makes great kindling either way.

        No. Not kindling: target practice.

  2. Mr Young
    Go

    Action Man!

    Eagle Eyes?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, but

      It does have the "sharpshooter" neck for taking potshots at competitors.

      Hmm, on closer inspection, insufficient hair to bother with flocking....

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Soon to be followed by..

    The Kim Jong Il action figure.

    Hardly uprising, as both deaths seem to cause widespread weeping in the streets by their respective followers.

    Personally if I was forced to make a choice, I think I would rather join the communist party than buy Apple...

    1. LuMan
      Stop

      Close..

      "Hardly uprising, as both deaths seem to cause widespread weeping in the streets by their respective followers."

      Except that the ifanbois weren't paid/threatened to do so.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        No

        But the Apple employees were.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iDol(l) tm

    I got there first. I'll sue all others using the name.

    1. Adze

      Ahh... but I have prior art, albeit made from wicker. However, it does have real hair!

  5. randomHandle
    Devil

    Users who purchased this item...

    ... also bought Voodoo For Beginners.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Bit late innit?

  6. Richard Wharram

    Team America ?

    Just me thinking this ?

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Trollface

      Team America ?

      F**K (Android) YEAH!!!! (Well they are made in dakkadakka land).

      Cue team america speech about dicks and assholes.

    2. Eponymous Cowherd
      Joke

      Yep, just you.....

      Feeling so ronery?

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There goes a commandment then

    "Do not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."

    Or are we working on the basis that he's in warmer climes?

  9. Geoff Campbell

    Do Apple have a legal claim to Jobs' likeness?

    Obviously the man himself could object to such figures when he was alive, but has that changed now he has died? Anyone know?

    GJC

    1. Chris Miller

      A legal claim?

      When has that ever worried Apple?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Uhoh

    I'm detecting some suspiciously rounded corners on that skull....

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apparently they're making one of Samsung's CEO too. It will be an exact copy apart from the square glasses

  12. Hermes Conran
    Joke

    will it come with...

    Replaceable livers?

    Too soon?

  13. John Lilburne Silver badge
    Flame

    Do they have builtin vibrating settings?

  14. a_Droid

    Now if only they could automate it we would at last see a Steve Jobs Android.

    I suggest that ideally the final version should be bio powered by inserting a fruit in a suitable orafice

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now if only they could automate it we would at last see a Steve Jobs Android.

    I suggest that ideally the final version should be bio powered by inserting a fruit in a suitable orafice

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Facepalm

      a_Droid or AC..... make up your mind

      1. James O'Brien
        Thumb Up

        Heh nice catch Field

        Was wondering if I was the only one who say that....its times like these that the withdraw options is valuable....

  16. Drew V.
    Thumb Up

    Each and every figure has been subjected to unspeakable abuse and a great deal of saliva, while on the Chinese assembly line, by former Foxcon employees! Woot!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    Oh WOW! Oh WOW! Oh WOW!

    Just how, Oh WOW!, crap is this?

    You tragic people!

  18. oldredlion
    Happy

    When can we expect to see Steve Jobs vrs Optimus Prime, in full Playmobil splendour?

  19. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Joke

    Is this...

    ...the Android Steve Jobs

  20. Figgus
    Joke

    Packaging

    I wonder if this will ship in a pine box?

    1. James O'Brien
      Mushroom

      No

      But it will come in White with a black option to follow months later....

      Plus you can wait for iDiedOS version 2 so you can open the box.....

      Im going to hell for this comment....

    2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Coat

      Packaging

      But there will be a huge 3rd party market in covers for the box

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    First in a new line of collectible action figures?

    If it was to be a line of famous tech multi-millionaires, it might be a short range. Speaking for myself I couldn't identify Elon Musk if he was in part of an ID parade made up with the seven dwarfs.

    Though how about a Gates vs Jobs double pack ...

    1. Haku

      I can't wait for the Steve Ballmer doll

      with realistic chair throwing action!

      1. John Bailey

        And a little string coming out his back to pull so he says "Developers Developers Developers".

        1. MrT

          And...

          ... "OUR swamp? There's no 'we', no 'our'. There's just ME and MY swamp!"

  22. Haku
    Trollface

    Not realistic enough

    It's missing the batteries and ultra bright LED to simulate the sun shining out of his arse.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That'll come with the iJobs Doll 2 in March.

      Rumours are already circulating as to whether it will remain 3.5" or 4". It will also come with Siri where you can ask it "One last thing?" where iJobs Doll 2 will respond with a witty remark such as "Get out of my office, you're fired!", or even "Are you my daddy" where it will respond sourly with "I disown you!" or you can utter single words to it like "Boom!" or "Magical" to which it responds, "I'm suing you, Dave."

      Whether it contains a spontaneous combustion cell activated when fury levels are piqued by whispering "Samsung" to the iJobs Doll 2's Siri client are yet to be confirmed by MacRumors or AppleInsider, but it will reportedly come with WiFi so that Apple can remotely control it to bellow "You're sleeping wrong, you nasty sub human iPOS, Buy a Mac!" at you as you vainly attempt to sleep should they get wind of you owning an Asus EeePad Transformer.

      Finally, rumours that Jonny Ive has designed a Android-homing missile launch device have been strongly denied despite a stockpile of mini torpedoes being found in crates hidden in bushes at One Infinite Loop, Cupertino marked "Jonny was here, for iBigJobs Doll 3"

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So sorry...

      ...but the Jobs doll WILL NOT have replacable batteries.

      Once the doll no longer recharges, you will be expected to return it, along with a check or money order made payable to Apple Computers, in the amount of USD$69.99 for repalcement of the internal battery. If you would like a "loaner doll" whilst yours is in for repair, please include an additional USD$199.99 to cover the costs of shipping and handling. Please allow 12 weeks for the repair and return of your iDol(L).

      Thank you.

      1. James O'Brien
        Paris Hilton

        Hmm

        I wonder where you plug him in to recharge the batteries. Or does he come with a fuel cell?

        1. LaeMing Silver badge
          Go

          To paraphrase Kryton

          "I thought I found the recharge socket, but the cable kept falling out."

          1. admiraljkb
            Pint

            Kryton paraphrased appropriately!

            Only in this case the process has gone in reverse. :)

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Voice

    Does it have a string which when pulled and released makes him say, "Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow"?

    Or possibly it utters the famous last words as it bursts into flames once the warranty has run out unless you've paid for the extended AppleCarre cover.

    1. Doug Glass
      Go

      It's not a string ...

      ... you pull.

    2. MrT

      Apparently the multi-lingual versions...

      ...don't speak Italian unless you double up on every option.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heeeeelppp, came the plaintive cry.

    "I was playing with my Steve Jobs doll when the head came off and now I can't get it out of my arse."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I can imagine the response.

      "No problem. Just buy an iJobs Doll Mini next time. Actually looking at your size, better wait for the Nano we have coming next year..."

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      There aren't enough upvotes in the world.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't want to live on this planet any more

    .

  26. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    Anatomically correct...

    ...including big brass balls...?

    'Cause, bless the man, he HAD 'em!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ummm

    £64?!? You're kidding!

    1. Darryl

      And that's only for the 8GB version... £128 for the 16GB

  28. Doug Glass
    Go

    Optional

    That's not a phone it's holding, it's smelling salts. There'll be a $399.99 activation fee and the battery will cost $199.99 for Apple to replace. That procedure requires a miniature colonoscopy probe which Apples is not selling. The Sacred J having a proprietary azzwhole means Apple can corner that market.

    It's expected that many fanbois will forgo purchasing immediately after introduction. Rumor has it Apple will soon post for download bodily function sounds on their soon-to-be-announced iFart site.

  29. Armando 123
    Devil

    Just the start

    Maybe we can get a Steve Ballmer Mr. Blobby Doll, an audioanimatronic Micheal Dell, and one of the Google founders, now with Invisible Useless Google+ Attachment!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There already is a Mr Blobby doll

      It's called Noel Edmonds aka. Big Blouse of Fail.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh for fucks sake!!!!!!!!

    That is all.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Body Parts

    Nobody spotted the yet to be announced iWrists?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Sir Clive

    Are they doing a Sir Clive Sinclair model? Complete with "real" comb over hair, and optional C5?

  33. AdamWill

    already available...

    ...in hong kong. was there last week, saw a few stores in some mall selling these (or at least, some kind of Jobs action figure; I was laughing too hard to inspect them very closely).

  34. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
    Facepalm

    This ...

    ... is so far beyond ridiculous that I'm hoping that I've lost three months, and it is actually April 1st.

    I ma horrified that anyone thought this would be a good idea, and I think I have become a Malthusian as a result.

    1. Mr Young
      Happy

      @ Intractable Potsherd

      Malthusian? Lucky I've got a dictionary! Anyway (don't worry too much man) it 21st Century - I think it's maybe called 'social engineering' nowadays?

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Joke

        @Mr Young

        A dictionary???!!! You mean you haven't got an app for that?

  35. Ken 16 Silver badge

    Dress up?

    Can you get alternative costumes, Hawaiian shirts, party dresses, blue suits, software t-shirts, etc?

  36. Martin Lyne

    $30 for tiny iPhone 5 when it's released. Wouldn't want your iDol holdin gout of date technology, right?

  37. Clive Galway

    Accessories?

    Does anyone know where to get a similarly sized cage, google t-shirt and android phone?

    Damn you flatscreen monitors! I miss all the crazy junk on top of my screen!

  38. M1
    Facepalm

    How long before the blow up model...

    for the real fanbois

  39. Feralmonkey

    OH goody

    yet another thing to put on my disown and try to slowly poison anyone who buys this list.

  40. Herby Silver badge

    Voice of the living dead...

    Or as was commonly popularized:

    Mini-me.

  41. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    WTF?

    Looks like Salman Rushdie to me.

    But it's been a while.

  42. Sceptic Tank
    Facepalm

    Look! A 12-inch *ick.

  43. Colin Millar
    Go

    Consumer testing needed

    How does it do on the blender test?

  44. skeete
    FAIL

    Extras?

    Does it come with a removable Pancreas?

  45. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    So much disrespect for the recently departed.

    And soon to be sanctified.

    It gives me a real feeling of hope for the world.

  46. lee harvey osmond

    Gripping hands?

    I dread to think what the equivalent Mark Hurd doll would be like

  47. Hey Nonny Nonny Mouse
    Devil

    Want one

    But only if I can have the Ninja Steve version. Might be a problem getting it through customs though..

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