back to article Steve Jobs' last design: New Apple HQ pics

Those who think that Apple is a strange cult will only have their suspicions confirmed by the recently released renderings of Apple's new Cupertino HQ published online yesterday. Apple HQ 1, credit Cupertino Council We've seen hazy pics of the building before, but the official images have just been posted on the Cupertino …


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  1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    A maintenance nightmare

    Looks pretty .... expensive to maintain to me ... one of the nightmares for building owners is the cost of keeping up appearances. Break a window and wait how long for a replacement?

    1. Paul Bruneau

      Yes because office building windows are constantly getting broken?

      1. Graham Dawson

        Believe it or not, complex-curved toughened glass has a rather impressive spontaneous failure rate. It's all to do with pressure points and shear angles.

        1. Benchops

          Impressive spontaneous failure rate?

          I believe you're thinking of the complex-curved toughened glass used in Redmond.

    2. AdamWill


      to defend His Steveness for a change, given that the entire thing is a giant uniform shape, one would expect that the panels are probably of a standard size and shape. and they'll keep a stock of identical spares on site. it's not like each one is a unique custom job.

    3. Ted

      But this will be triple layer like used in the Apple Store, so kinda hard to break. They designed all that out during the engineering phase.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      Nightmare or no, he's living up to his motto in life: Give control to the users? "That would just allow people to screw things up."

      1. serviceWithASmile

        re: windows

        I thought breaking windows was what apple was all about?

        1. Graham Dawson

          Look at it this way: If the wondows keep breaking, there'll be lots of jobs.

  2. Ian Knight

    Stargate ?

    Does anyone else see the resemblence to a Stargate ?

    Is this the plan, bring aliens to earth to wipe out the competition ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They should have

      filled the middle with a gigantic pool, just to complete that illusion!

    2. Benchops

      That would be

      the beta stargate. The alpha gate is in Cheltenham at GCHQ. Only three chevrons though -- gets as far as the moon.

  3. Thomas 18

    Reanimation device

    My though is that it's circular to trap Steve's ghost essence and channel it into the minds of workers. I think it's clear from the evidence:

    1.Meticulously designed by a dying man

    2.Apparent reality altering aura that blurs and influences colour balance and saturation.

    3.Designed to be sealed up tight preventing any escape

    4.Crewed by a slavish cult

    1. chr0m4t1c

      >4.Crewed by a slavish cult

      I think you're mixing up employees and customers...

      1. zen1


        No he's not...

        1. CheesyTheClown

          Been in the old building a few times... DRONES!!!

          Yep... have to say that while Apple is known for creativity and geekiness, most of the people I saw around there were buzz wordy drones.

  4. HP Cynic

    As I read the final para about the locked windows I could not help but think of Kahn's dying Moby Dick quote: "With my last breath, I spit at thee"

    1. Alex-TheManfromUncle

      .. Just because it was the first thing that came to my head:






      (*echo effect)

      [Last day of work, so Pub it is!]

  5. G2

    in case of fire, break the glass. ALL of it :p

  6. Voland's right hand Silver badge


    The design omits a few details:

    Propulsion? Armament? Shields? Fighter bay capacity?

  7. Your Retarded

    "He had never liked the idea of people being able to open things."

    Who knew?

    1. Giles Jones Gold badge

      But then why is that odd if your actually selling computers like appliances?

      When you buy a toaster, TV, fridge, washing machine and so on do you look for a hatch to open them up?

      While computers sometimes need memory and disk upgrades you tend to burn out your washing machine before you upgrade to a better model. This tends to be true of most people when it comes to computers, they stick with the factory specification.

      1. BristolBachelor Gold badge

        "When you buy a toaster, TV, fridge, washing machine and so on do you look for a hatch to open them up?"

        You know what, I often open my fridge, washing machine and toaster. I'd find them pretty bloody useless if I couldn't.

        Similarly OS X Lion in fact, where I have to copy files to the LIBRARY, or edit the HOSTS file, but St. Jobs said that I am not allowed access to them. That's great, but it means that I cannot access the file server (needs HOSTS file update), or use Photoshop (needs files copied to LIBRARY)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          sudo nano /etc/hosts

          sudo cp /etc/hosts /Library

    2. miknik

      Surprised there is any glass

      I would have thought he would veto/fire/have killed anyone suggesting they install windows. Still, nice to see that at the heart of the building design is a lovely walled garden.

    3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      It may be less nefarious then you think

      If you look at the pics it is blurred because it is spinning to produce artificial gravity in flight. You do not really want to open the window in that case as the centrifugal force will throw you out and the Mothership will depart without you.

  8. The Bit Wrangler

    One ring to bind them all...

  9. JDX Gold badge

    That last quote is wonderful.

    Personally I like the design, it's nice _someone_ is still building interesting stuff.

  10. Anthony Hulse

    The Mothership has landed

    Jobs' last homage to the old school Mac users maybe, who used to refer to the company as The Mothership. Personally I wonder if music plays if you tilt it to the south.

  11. Jon Press

    Judging by the blur in the first picture...

    ... it would appear to rotate at high speed. Don't know if that's the reality-distortion generator in operation or the picture five years down the line after the earthly remains of His Jobsworth have been spinning with increasing agitation at its centre.

  12. Katie Saucey

    only hope

    ..let's take off and nuke it from orbit, only way to be sure..

    1. Clive Mitchell



    2. SiempreTuna

      The current campus ..

      .. is called the Mothership (complete with sign) - at least the new building will look like one

  13. nematoad Silver badge


    "And the trees will be largely apricots, if you're wondering."

    Surely they should be Cox's Orange Pippin, Bramleys and so on, shouldn't they?

  14. hugh
    Black Helicopters

    Prior Art

    I hope GCHQ have patented the design.

  15. Richard Hodgson

    "The architects wanted the windows to open. Jobs said no. He had never liked the idea of people being able to open things. ‘That would just allow people to screw things up.’"

    Well this certainly explains a lot...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The first commandment:

    "Thou shalt not open windows!"

    1. Piro

      Oh dear

      This is almost the perfect place to have windows that open. Air coming from the large park surrounding this low rise building? I'd hate working there without being able to crack the window. Maybe you wouldn't want to downtown where there are just cars passing under the window, but that looks like a fantastic place to open the window!

      It's official: Steve Jobs is a dick.

    2. Knowledge
      Thumb Up


      I knew there was a better joke in there somewhere!

    3. Zog The Undeniable


      The McIntosh is an apple, hence the name of the personal computer line. It was munged into "Macintosh" because of a pre-existing trademark.

      1. Paul Bruneau

        Actually I think you're mistaken. They just misspelled it. They got sued anyway by the stereo equipment manufacturer.

    4. Northern Fop

      Nice try

      But when it comes to 'rounded corners', Apple hold *all* the rights. Everywhere.

    5. Tom 38 Silver badge

      It's hardly uncommon though is it? At my last place, we had windows that opened, but if you did dare open one, and the head of HR saw you, you would get summoned to her 'roasting room' (glass walled sound proof cubicle for 'interviews', although it felt more like a place you can silently ream someone out whilst everyone else stares) for re-education.

      At the new place, there are no windows, just panes of glass, so at least the temptation has gone.

      The best thing about a donut shape like this is that there are no corner offices, and most people will have some daylight coming into their space. That's a good thing. I wish I worked in a donut.

    6. graeme leggett


      I though the Apricot brand ended up with Mitsubishi?

      I suspect its because genuine apples (lowercase) fall in autumn and make the ground look untidy, and give more scope to headline writers to use the word "rotten" in conjunction with the "A" word.

      1. Mike Richards


        Steve Jobs said in an interview how much he missed the apricot orchards that filled the part of the Bay Area that because Silicon Valley.

    7. Peter 48


      I suspect this will have been designed with a whole building environment management system which controls lights, temperature and fresh air supply, like you will find in most modern high-rise office buildings. In cases like that, being able to open a window is actually highly counter-productive.

      1. Keeees

        And those systems work sooo well... Nothing like a bit of fresh air to perk up a tired office worker at say 3 pm.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Have you ever heard of a break? It's where you actually get up and walk outside for some fresh air.

      2. Piro

        No doubt

        But a constant temperature does make you drowsy even if it is comfortable. I agree with your point, but it still lacks a human element.

        The guy who said to take a break and get some fresh air, fair enough, not arguing with that.

    8. Paul 2


      No, apricots is correct - the plot used to be an apricot orchard when Jobs was growing up, before HP bought the plot. Planting apricot trees was meant to be Jobs' way of restoring the area to its heritage... or something :-)

      1. LaeMing Silver badge

        Movin' to the Valley,

        Gonna eat a lot of... apricots?

    9. Dru Richman

      Fruit trees

      The Verge reports: "Orchards of apples, apricots, plums, and cherries also play a key part of the design..."

    10. Arctic fox

      RE: "The first commandment:" No open Windows?

      I think you'll find that Bill would agree with that!

    11. annodomini2

      No that's for the second building, called the Cupertino Air and will be 1 foot high!

    12. phuzz Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      I've not bothered to check (this is a comment on the internets after all), but I suspect that the new Apple HQ will be bigger than GCHQ.

      At least the above ground portions anyway...

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I knew his halo had slipped but I hadn't realised it'd fallen off completely.

  18. the-it-slayer

    You can't modify it... it's too closed...

    That's what the anti-Apple boys are thinking. How on earth can you modify/improve/upgrade a circular building made out of glass?


  19. Lloyd Kinsella


    I remember this from like June/July when Steve went before the Cupertino council to explain why he was building a Stargate in their town for the Ori to use after he ascended...

    Video here -

  20. Zog The Undeniable
    Black Helicopters

    Prior art II

    It's the Pentagon (normally pronounced "Pinnagun" by 'merkins) with the corners rounded off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, we pronounce it "pentagon".

    2. John Gamble

      And the people who work at the Pentagon hate the design -- going to opposite ends of the building is a pain (or at least was, it's been a couple of decades since I've read anything about it).

      Surely they won't make that same mistake at Apple. They'll have a way to easily cut across. Right?

      1. FrankAlphaXII

        Ive never known anyone who's enjoyed working at the Pentagon. I worked there on Temporary Duty for a week once. Alot of times you have to run files back and forth between offices, which can seriously suck if one office is on the E ring and the other one is on the A ring. Going to opposite ends of the building is still a pain, and half the doors on the courtyard Enlistedmen don't tend to dare to use. There's no policy that says we can't (to my knowledge anyway, they dont tell TDY alot) but Its like high heresy to cut across the courtyard. Wont save you much time either way.

        1. Esskay

          shortcuts go against the Apple ethos

          "Surely they won't make that same mistake at Apple. They'll have a way to easily cut across. Right?"

          Just walk all the way around. Not that big of a deal.

  21. bh

    Unlikely the architects would have wanted to have opening windows because it screws up the aircon....

    In most buildings you can't open the windows

    also would be a security issue...

    1. SImon Hobson Silver badge

      I wondered how long ...

      ... it would take for someone to say it.

      >> Unlikely the architects would have wanted to have opening windows because it screws up the aircon....

      Indeed, I expect a large space like this will come with highly specified environmental controls - not just temperature controlled, but maintained with filtered, temperature and humidity controlled air. Anything else would be a terrible place to work.

      Opening windows work in small room, but when you get to larger rooms then you have the problem that for people away from the windows to get any air, those near the windows get "an excessive amount" of air - typically they get frozen in UK climates.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        All quite probable - except "The architects wanted the windows to open". So it's Jobsian control freakery, then, not design, typical Apple.

    2. LuMan
      Thumb Up


      Glad someone stated the obvious. Of all the modern buildings I've worked in (quite a few in our company) none of them have openable windows. They're all bleedin bullet-proof affairs, welded shut with some form of adamantium!

      Air con and security are normally stated as the reasons, but I reckon it's also to stop stressed-out project managers from hurling themselves to freedom.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Unlikely the architects would have wanted to have opening windows because it screws up the aircon...."

      Really? In quite a few modern buildings you get notices about not opening windows because it might mess with the supposedly tuned air-conditioning, even though in everyone's experience, the air-conditioning manages to have everyone either too hot or too cold, the automatic blinds/shades take on a life of their own, opening, closing, rolling up or down at the slightest provocation before finally giving up working after a fraction of their supposed lifespan, and the janitor is either permanently away or unable to get someone in to fix all of this.

      A lot of architects that manage to put up this kind of vanity project are often drifting away from practical concerns in favour of aesthetics, as if the practical business (what architecture should actually be driven by) might dirty the nice pictures in the coffee-table book that is their portfolio. So, for example, you had the laughable situation where the toilets in one brand-spanking-new opera house were continuously out of paper because the architects and their interior design pals didn't want to ruin the look by having anywhere to put the TP.

      In the end, the TP gets piled on the floor and ruins the look, anyway, but I guess the avatars in the mock-ups don't need to use the toilet. In the mind of the delicate architectural genius, toilets probably have no place in an opera house, anyway.

      1. LaeMing Silver badge

        The first thing my mum and a few others noticed

        When the local council posted their plans for their new community-centre/theatre was "Um... where are the toilets?" Seriously! The architects had forgotten to put any toilets in a building supposed to hold a couple of hundred people!

    4. Captain Save-a-ho

      Security issue

      Maybe they should seal up all the doors too, just in case


  22. Ian Adams

    So are the trees in the middle a walled garden or are they expanding into walled forests?

  23. Tony Paulazzo

    >The architects wanted the windows to open. Jobs said no. He had never liked the idea of people being able to open things.<

    I'm beginning to think all those acid trips he did when younger were bad trips because my fallout from youthful tripping was open / touch & experience everything and want everyone else to also feel the wonderousness (I know but it's ok to invent words on acid), of the universe.

    I kind'a like the building tho'.

  24. Erwin Hofmann

    ‘That would just allow people to screw things up’

    ... like using it ... by the way, Apple can't patent the design because it's "prior art" ... seen by my old tire lying in the grass of my backyard ...

  25. JDX Gold badge

    @Richard Hodgson

    He does have a point though, things would be a lot easier without users.

  26. Mage Silver badge


    An interesting PC with a somewhat too small screen based on the Victor 9000 / ACT Sirius1

    Both far far better than "official IBM PC" of the era, but not "compatible". Lacking the Reality Distortion field of the Apple, Apricot is now gone sadly.

  27. Jonathan McBrien

    Jobs' last design...

    ... or he left his halo behind.

  28. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    The surroundings

    are very evocative of the Eloi & Morlocks act from that old movie of H.G. Wells' The Time Machine.

  29. Mixedbag

    No Windows

    Reminds me of the HQ of the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy. It's all fine until the buildings air and thermal management system fails

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More Myths

    "Jobs specially designed it so..."

    No, he didn't. He gave a designer a list of things he wanted and then went off and screamed at the local planning committee until they said he could have it, then he came back to the office and stamped his little foot until the designer had a design ready. THEN he claimed all the credit for everything ever invented and then, thank god, he dropped down dead.

    Jobs was not a designer, he was never a designer. He was a manager. From hell.

    1. Ian Davies


      ... because you've worked at Apple and therefore have first-hand experience of all this, rather than, you know, just airing your own petty bitterness and frustrations. Right?

      1. Adam Foxton

        It's been pretty well documented

        that Jobs was a pain to work with. Same with Ballamer and a lot of other high-level managers.

        The design of every famous Apple iProduct was done by Johnathon Ive

        The technical work and design behind the first Apples was done by Woz (and probably the other one). Further designs were done by other engineery types.

        The OS that Jobs brought with him (OSX) was taken from NeXt- with the core based on BSD and the rest done by paid programmers. It was then given to Apple's larger pool of programmers who did more work on it.

        Jobs wasn't a designer. He was a manager. Most importantly, though, he was almost certainly the Worlds Finest Marketeer.

    2. Tomato42 Silver badge

      It's not like he will have a use of a halo in the afterlife...

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another management design advantage...

    No place for staff to hide in the corners.


  32. Anonymous Coward

    Well that answers it...

    We now know which direction he went when he died, he left his halo here as he clearly wouldn't be needing it...

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I see, better to spend a bil or three on some god-hub type thing, than do a Bill Gates and give it to malaria research.

    Anyway I think it's hubristic because it elevates Apple design to a kind of ubermensch thing, where everything has to be 'magical', when in fact it's just ordinary people making good stuff which could easily be rubbish.

  34. MajorClanger
    Big Brother

    Copy cats:

    Does it spin to create arificial sideways gravity? If so that explains why you can't open the windows.

  35. Natalie Gritpants

    So does it take off

    or does the middle part open up like a giant lens aperture to reveal a giant underground lair?

  36. Bill B


    Probably designed to eliminate all food sources if the flood escape.

  37. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    What has he got against Windows?

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ironic they should choose a doughnut

    Given their client base.

    1. deadlockvictim Silver badge

      Well, to start off with...

      1. What has he got against Windows? You forgot the boom-tish after the question mark.

      2. Windows is ugly (no rounded windows, for example), not very user-friendly and something that made him cringe. He would never have let it through. Compare the Macintosh graphical-interface from 1985 with that of Windows 1995 and you will see the difference.

      3. SJ hates the notion of people tinkering with his appliances. He was the very antithesis of Woz, who built computers that one could expand, tinker with and so on. This is one of the reasons that he didn't dislike SCSI too much. Easy to attach and detach. No screwdrivers necessary. Often no drivers even necessary (or they came the mac). The outside of the box is for users and the inside of the box is for trained Apple-authorised personnel.

    2. Northern Fop


      Apple products are purchased by deep-fried snacks, some of which are filled with jam? Not sure multi-touch was designed with that in mind.

      But if you say so...

  39. kneel_in_kanada


    Shouldn't there be huge parking lots associated with this ?? Underground parking's a possibility, but not cheap.

  40. Ian Knight

    Underground lair

    The plans don't seem to list the 100 or so floors of underground bunker / research facilities.

    Also it completely fails to mention the retracting doors where Thunderbird 1 launches, or iThunderbird as it will henceforth be known, launches from.

  41. Peter Clarke 1

    Prior Art

    Please see Gerry Andersons design for the Thunderbird 3 launch facility

  42. Tom 7 Silver badge

    It just shows how well technology has come on

    that we all still have to be in the same building to work together - probably to make sure we're not shirking by using our Idevices all the time.

    Mind you the Siri testing lab would be a good laugh: "Will you shut the fuck up" " I don't know how to shut the fuck up Dave" "No not you....

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not a doughnut it's a UFO.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows isn't open anyway.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's the fuss about opening Windows - in most offices now you either cannot or should not really open the windows - potentially dangerous and screws up the aircon.

  46. Citizen Kaned

    actually, quite nice

    let me guess. Jobs is patenting iCirlces now?

    i actually like the building. very nice. of course will not look anything like this unless we all get Glaucomas or Cataracts. Still, that would be a nice place to work.

    our old office was a £1M building for 10 people... very nice. thanks to the recession we now work out of an industrial unit. no pool tables or large screen TVs with Sky for us any more... fuck you Natwest!!!

    @"J. R. Hartley - What has he got against Windows?" - erm, looks like there are loads to me! he must secretly love windows.

  47. Turtle

    Zero Sophistication!

    I got a good laugh out of the pictures especially. The "huge hi-tech-looking halo in the forest" looks like it was dreamt up by a videogame designer. It is trite and ugly. It is risible! Peter Max could come up with a more sophisticated design.

    This is the same "fashion sense" and/or aesthetic sensibility - or lack thereof - that thinks those Macs made with semi-translucent plastic were anything other than an eyesore!


    We could also say that the building, in the shape of a giant zero, neatly and accurately sums up Jobs' value as a person, and precisely reflects the sum total of his generosity, both philanthropic and personal, not to mention, additionally, spiritually.

    Possibly it is not too late to have the shape altered, just a wee bit, so that it resembles, not a halo, but a toilet seat?

    Let's hope so.

  48. stucs201

    Hmmm, Donuts....

    < /homer>

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I thought a Death Star would be more appropriate.

  50. Steve Evans


    Apple have invented the wheel...!

    Quick, start digging out your historical examples and prepare for the lawyers!

  51. Grahame 2


    "The architects wanted the windows to open. Jobs said no. He had never liked the idea of people being able to open things. ‘That would just allow people to screw things up.’"

    So presumably the doors would be sealed shut too, would certainly help stop those pesky people interfering.

    1. Citizen Kaned

      we all know...

      nobody comes in... nobody leaves....

      he got willie wonkas umpalumpas!!

  52. Vulture_Fan

    And no one has yet commented that, as with all other Jobsian devices, this one was designed by an Englishman - or at least, an English practice - Foster + Partners ...

    And for reference, it's perfectly possible to design an office building with opening windows (see most office buildings that have "sustainable" aims), but it's fairly difficult on a building of this scale - not to mention if one has a ... difficult client ... who is direct in expressing his views ... and ... set in his ways ... ? Hmm. Sounds like someone I've read about ...

  53. Dom 3


    I trust it'll have a monorail, that Bond can use to get from Rescuing The Girl to Despatching The Baddie.

  54. Timo

    Siri, open the window please!

    I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple control, even on the windows...

    Geez, so his fanatical control even extends to not allowing people to open a window...

    1. Erwin Hofmann

      Jobs always tried to control Windows ...

  56. James Gosling

    Imagine that...

    Steve left a big jobbie behind!

  57. Matthew 17

    these pictures were published when Jobs was alive

    at least 3 months old.

    When does it get built?

  58. bobdobbs
    Thumb Up

    family crypt?

    I picture Jobsian remains buried at the very center of the ring, or at least that's what the sun-sprinkled renditions forced me to think of.

  59. Michael Thibault

    Bitter, petty, and juvenile much?

    There are some very smart people in the crowd--for which I'm occasionally grateful--, but far too many of the Reg readership need to grow up and get over their 'thing' about Steve Jobs.

    1. annodomini2

      From the look of the comments on here you're in the minority there.

  60. Knochen Brittle

    @400% magnification in Pic#4

    you can just about make out that dark figure pushing an Awake! magazine onto the infidel prostrate in the poppies.

    Paradise ... I knew there had to be a catch ...

  61. Fr. Ted Crilly

    soo, lets get this right

    When the AC gives in and the i-intelligent building makes with the doors to manual etc.

    will there be a RROD?

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why Jobs Wants Fruit Trees - Japan's Cherry Blossoms

    In late February, around the time of Jobs' birthday, Apple's show will begin. Pink and white plum blossoms will appear on stands of trees at the center of Apple's new campus, hinting at more to come.

    A few weeks later cherry trees scattered strategically along walkways and at the edges of open glades will start to blossom.

    Visitors arriving for new product introductions on Apple's campus will walk down a path lined with cherry trees -- the white blossoms contrasting with the dark green conifers behind them -- a sight that by April should be absolutely staggering.

    As summer approaches stands of apricot trees will flower as they prepare to bear fruit for the year.

    Hidden from public view inside an enormous donut-shaped main building: more fruit trees. Apple employees will enjoy gardens, a fountain, an open-air amphitheater, and a dining terrace nestled among apple orchards, a grove of apricot trees, and stands of plum trees. Cherry trees, again, will be dotted throughout.

    Jobs worked in an orchard in his early years and wants to bring the blooms back to the area before tech companies moved in and made dead and lifeless cement jungle of the place.

    Not surprising a man near death wanted to leave a legaccy celebrating life.

  63. Tgnome

    "Judging from the images, it will be accompanied by young languorous types lying around in poppy fields"

    That's some funny stuff right there. And probably true.

  64. rahul

    Get to the other side?

    Anyone else feel that it will be a b* to get to the other side? Where one would normally have to walk 2r, now they will have to walk 0.5*2*pi*r (Or approx 1.57 times more).

    Anyone else interested in buying Stegway stock?

    1. Your Retarded


      That would be personal transportation for armoured herbivorous dinosaurs then?

  65. Esskay

    The staff offices occupy the "hole" in the middle of the donut...

    The large circular structure is just multi-level security to stop the worker drones from leaving the walled garden. Presumably aided by some story of the world ending when His Jobsness ascended into heaven to take over the place, and that everything outside the Walled Garden is poisonous and evil.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clearly a copy of a polo mint!

  67. simonjon

    Pentagon fact, and solar

    Did you know that the Pentagon (the world's biggest office building!) has twice as many bogs and canteens than it needs, so that blacks and whites would be separated? True story, it was designed and built during the segregation period.

    You can pin many design crimes on Jobs (iPod headphones leak like an old whore) but sealed windows feature in all new buildings of large scale. That's so heat/cool don't fight each other, which would be a really serious problem with Californian summers.

    Likewise, the windows are likely not shaded because of solar power use (PV panels need to go higher up, at an angle, not overshadowed by trees) but to reflect solar radiation and make cooling more efficient and (like in windscreens) prevent solar glare. Oh, and to make it look groovy (c:

    Whoa, that's good shit Sherlock!

    1. Zack Mollusc

      It is stupid to seal windows "so heat/cool don't fight each other". If someone is opening a window, your climate control system is not up to the job. You might as well make a case for removing sprinkler systems "to avoid water damage to the furnishings".

  68. Bill Fresher


    It looks like an enormous toilet seat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Stop farting, go for a crap, and then you'll stop seeing everything as a toilet seat.

  69. Erwin Hofmann

    ... gosh, it's a round pentagon ...

    ... and shows the total lake of good design ... the sore iCenter ... waling against the world ... Lord of the Ring ...

  70. Erwin Hofmann

    He had never liked the idea of people being able to open things

    ... next step ... doors can't be opened ... no one gets in no one gets out ... secluding society ... Apple ...

  71. TERiX

    Hadron Collider?

    A smaller wheel will get those particles going critical even faster. This is all proceeding just as he has foreseen.

  72. JP 6

    Reminds me of something...

    The canteen will hold 3,000! Any chance of an extra wide TV as well? Then while everyone is eating and watching, some lady athlete can run up and toss a hammer into the screen.

    That aside there are no surprises.

    Curved windows. Apple has always been big on custom parts.

    Can't open windows. Like changing the battery on a MAC.

    Apricot trees. The don't allow apple clones.

    Custom power supply. (Just like the MAC.)

  73. Ted Treen

    Ye Gods!

    Has there ever been such an opinionated piece, with emotive descriptive language purporting to be an unbiased factual report?

    You could be either a graduate of the Dr Goebbels school of reporting, or - and I hesitate to accuse anyone of this - a moonlighting BBC news reporter

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