Is it just me or....
Do we really have a story here about people being stuck on the "marmite motorway". I know it's a euphemism, but still ;-)
A flood of yeast extract has blocked the M1 motorway in South Yorkshire after a truck containing the Marmite ingredient crashed and spilled its load. The road is still closed this morning, according to the latest traffic information, as cleanup workers scoop 23.2 tonnes of the gloopy brown stuff off the road surface. South …
Marmite, Promite, Vegemite and other similar "black goop" spreads have got to be the foulest-tasting concoctions known to mankind. If I'd seen a spill of that gunk like that, I'd have recommended isolating the spill zone and evacuating the surrounding 5 kilometres!
"...The dumped yeast extract was described as "waste" by the BBC, so is highly unlikely to now end up in Marmite jars..."
...this could only improve the taste and unquestioned life-enhancing properties of this wonder-sludge?
No evil bacterium could live for long amongst the vitamin-packed nutrition of this prince of comestibles....
Beer, because that's where it comes from...
This is the waste yeast from brewing used to make Marmite. Marmaite is made by denaturing the yeast by adding salt and heating - bacteria are unlikely to live in the result due to the osmotic pressure from the salt content, but the raw material - yeast extract - is highly nutritious to bacteria. This, presumably, is one of the reasons it has to be processed to make Marmite - raw yeast extract would be liable to give you quite a gippy stomach once your gut bacteria get stuck in.
"...but the M1 runs North-South. I therefore declare all yeastbound carriageway jokes null and void."
Couldn't resist this one. The BBC page linked from the article states that both carriageways were closed between junctions 32 and 33. It just so happens that that stretch of the M1 runs East-West.
...in a former life I was a truck driver and I drove the yeast tankers in and out of Burton-on-Trent.
First day on the job I got given the keys and sent of on a trip to various breweries with no training, just the advice that the brewery staff would know what to do.
First pickup in York and I am met by a brewery guy who has only a rough idea of what to do as well and we unship the pipes, connect up to a vat of foul smelling waste yeast and switch the pump on.
After a few seconds the pipe is bucking like crazy and the pump is making the sort of noises I only ever heard before when my parents thought I was asleep and me Dad had drunk enough to be able to come within 10' of Mum without being physically sick.
I worked out what was wrong; I hadn't opened the inlet valve on the truck. I leap for the valve and try to open it.... just as the pressure builds up enough to blow the pipe out of the ring mounting, spraying everything in the immediate vicinity with the foul gloop.
I was covered from head to foot (quite literally; I looked like a melted mars bar) and had to be hosed down by the giggling brewery staff. What's more I stank of marmite for about a week afterwards... although the missus didn't seem to mind over much.
Haven't been able to go near the stuff ever since for some odd reason.
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