back to article Shock claim: Playing Elder Scrolls WILL MAKE YOU GAY

Many of you will take to the pad this weekend, bashing away at fantasies, wiggling the necromancer, whacking demons and enjoying all else that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has to offer. But since playing the game, have any of you noticed feeling more inclined to turn the other cheek? Have you been spotting euphemisms for …

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  1. DJ 2
    Devil

    Well I was hesitant.

    But now I think that I will have to go out and buy a copy :)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doesn't make you gay

    Just means you won't be getting laid for a while.

    1. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
      Thumb Up

      never

      a truer word said !

    2. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
      FAIL

      No, that's not right...

      ...I mean, I got laid on saturday night! There was this barmaid in Whiterun, where I stayed after retrieving the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller and....

      ...oh. Wait.

  3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Devil

    "send [a gamer's] soul to the fire pits of Hell"

    You have reached the next level of the game!

    A Satan appears.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Love it!

    I love parody sites like that! Reminds me of a site on the other side of the argument poking fun at secular humanism saying that humanists wanted to ban charities that looked after the weak and infirm because it was screwing with natural selection and helping prolong weak genes.

    Shows real imagination and I applaud it!

    1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Are you sure that was a parody?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I hope it was!

        I've never met a secular humanist who wants to kill disabled people and I doubt even Mr. Dawkins is that grumpy so I think the world can sleep safe :)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Other than Pete Singer and Jack Kevorkian...and, well, a bunch of others.

      2. Windrose
        Devil

        Of course

        "Are you sure that was a parody?"

        Of course. Natural selection is based on survival of the *fittest*. That, weird if logical as it may be, doesn't mean the healthiest ...

        But, to quote Sgt. Angua: "The problem isn't being a vegetarian by day, but not being a humanitarian by night"

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have thrown my XBox 360 Live Kentic and this game in the bin. The risk is just too great.

  6. CD001

    Christwire

    ... reading some of the comments makes me weep for humanity.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NAKED MOD.....

      I've always fancied my character having a large spear to throw at his enemies.

      Celtic warriors used to paint themselves blue and fight naked. They didn't win much. Does that make them gay?

  7. TRT Silver badge

    Oh come on...

    Playing a video game doesn't make you gay. Having sex with a member of your own genital grouping makes you gay.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      De rigeur car analogy.

      And there was I thinking that driving a Mazda MX5 made you gay.....

    2. TRT Silver badge

      MX5

      No, that just makes you a pussy.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        But remember...

        ...being a pussy is only 2 inches away from being an asshole.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Unhappy

          Optional

          Whatever else is the case, if iRacing is anything to go by, driving an MX-5 -definitely- makes you -sad-. I mean, I refuse to drive, in a racing simulation, something significantly slower than my Saab. Really, people.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          pussy.. gay...

          What's the difference, you're gonna get @#@$ed by a !@!#@# anyways.. Just saying,,,

  8. Mourndark
    Childcatcher

    It's not unknown in The Elder Scrolls

    Remember some of the things you had to do in Morrowind to win the support of Crassius Curio?

  9. Alex-TheManfromUncle
    Thumb Up

    Had to read the title twice..

    I honestly thought Sky had branched out on a tangent...

    (p.s. Where's the "Smut Angle" icon?)

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  11. JohnMoser

    That was lame. I will save my enjoyment of anti christian mockery for Gervais.

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