back to article Robot cop tackles mystery tinfoil poo-bomb bandit

Toronto residents were hastily evacuated from homes and businesses in the city yesterday as police feared that tinfoil-wrapped packages of human excrement found beneath a car might explode, flattening an entire neighbourhood in a devastating poo-based blast horror incident of some type. Understandably reluctant to tackle the …

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  1. Cunningly Linguistic

    And if , as requested, they do report to the police, will they find themselves in the shit?

  2. sisk Silver badge

    Enlightenment

    Possible scenario:

    Drunk #1 "*Hiccup* I'm too homefaced to get shit and I gotta drunk."

    Drunk #2 "Yeah, yeah, me to. Hey look, there's some foil over there."

    Later...

    Drunk #1 "Whadda we do wif these?"

    Drunk #2 "Let's hide them under that car."

  3. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Shit happens, but seriously upon reading it does seem somewhat over dramatised. Did the women see the packages and cry wolf and the rest fell into place or was it the police who directed it down this fallen path of its a bomb.

    Could of been somebody who had just got out of prison and hasn;t broken the habit of light night toilet visits.

    Could of been a bomb dog who has a fecal fetish like dogs do towards crap.

    I would also question anything being a bomb described like that as anything that is designed to blow cars up and there is a long history of that, have never ever been deployed as a lose package under a car wrapped as described. Sosomebody somewere had a drama lama day and a funny story ensued. Indeed if they knew it was human shit before they called bomb, then I qould seriously have to question the judgment call of those involved.

    Bottom line - shit happens but it aint no bomb.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      *Could HAVE

      Words. They have meanings. Think about them.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    How long...

    How long before the robot cops get smart enough to say, "Fuck that, you do it."

  5. Johnny Canuck

    not quite so funny

    When the cops just found 7 real bombs in a building over the weekend.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This sounds like the work...

    ...of the notorious Turd Burglar! Clearly stashing his ill-gotten gains in a car park until the heat's died down!

  7. stsr505089

    Clumsy technician drops stool samples on way to bio lab......

  8. Graham Bartlett

    Like that's going to work

    Sure, we can really see someone coming forward and saying "yes it was me, I crimped off a couple of good lengths, wrapped them in tinfoil and chucked them under my neighbour's car". Especially since it's all over the news. Metaphorically at least.

  9. Smitty Werben Jueger Man Jenson

    New spin on an old prank?

    I guess this is the new burning paper bag with poop in it.

  10. CADmonkey
    Coat

    hey

    shit happens

  11. zen1
    Coat

    sorry, had to (in case someone else hasn't already)

    The shit is going to hit the fan in Toronto over this!

  12. hplasm Silver badge
    Happy

    If you swallow your tinfoil hat...

    - well, you can guess the rest.

  13. Clyde

    Toronto ???

    It was Whitby, Ont. Don't think the Whitby folk would like being described as Toronto.

    Anyway don't these bomb cops have some sort of spectrum analyser ?

    I thought these airport machines can tell whether it's semtex, toothpaste, or whatnot.

  14. Tascam Holiday
    Coat

    At least it's not vomit

    Is it possible to dust for shit?

    1. Stan
      Thumb Up

      I got the ST reference at least. :)

    2. Your Retarded
      FAIL

      Spectrum analyser

      I've got one of those on my Hi-Fi. I don't know whether it would be much use in disposing of explosives...

  15. ThaMossop
    Thumb Up

    Robocop?

    Thumbs up if you read that as Robocop

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wanna know what the bomb hoaxer wrapped their sandwiches in...

  17. TRT Silver badge
    Holmes

    One must get Inspector Clouseau on the case...

    Special delivery. A bum.

    Were you expecting one?

    A bum?!

    What kind of bum?

    The exploding kind. Now excuse me, I must catch this mad bummer before he does any more of the damage.

    NO SHIT SHERLOCK - for obvious reasons.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Everyone knows that tinfoil....

    ...keeps them fresh.

  19. Zaphod.Beeblebrox
    Facepalm

    "Potentially deadly knife"

    "The intrepid tin cop had previously been sent in to deal with another suspicious package found in a garage, which turned out to contain a potentially deadly knife."

    Because there are so many other varieties...

  20. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

    Amateur(s)!

    Old kebabs wrapped in tinfoil, what a pathetic effort, should have used a WMD (Weapon of Manure Dispersal) as this guy did:-

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/4469961/The-muck-stops-here.html

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